The Twitter Diaries: Dictionary of British-isms

A1 A highway, the longest numbered road in the UK. Alan Whicker A British travel journalist and broadcaster whose career spanned over 50 years. Annabels A private members nightclub in London, located in fancy Mayfairs Berkeley Square. So posh its the only nightclub The Queen has ever visited. Arsenal Arsenal Football Club, an English Premier League football club based in North London. It used to win trophies. BAFTA British Academy of Film and Television Arts, which hands out the British version of Oscars and Emmys. Banging on To talk incessantly and uninterestingly, to nag. The Beeb Affectionate nickname for the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation). Belgravia A district of Central London with exceptionally expensive real estate. Biffed To hit. Bin To throw away, discard. Bit of fluff A sexual partner. Blag To lie, or use clever talk with profit as an objective; to wheedle or persuade for gain. Blighty Affectionate name for Britain as ones home. Blimey An exclamation of surprise. Bluster Loud, aggressive, or indignant talk with little effect. Bollocking A severe reprimand. Bollocks 1. Testicles. 2. Rubbish, nonsense, drivel. Bruce Parry Former Marines officer turned documentary host. Bugger all Absolutely nothing at all. Camberwell A not particularly salubrious district in south London. Camberwell carrot From the classic cult film Withnail and I, meaning a joint of marijuana. Cant be arsed Cant be bothered.

Chipping Norton A market town in Oxfordshire, less than 2 hours from London, which is the countryside locale of homes of many of Londons major meeja stars including Rebekah Brooks and Top Gears Jeremy Clarkson. Think East Hampton. Compos mentis Having command of mind; of sound mind. Conrans A small exclusive chain of posh furniture stores and restaurants. Corporate jolly A trip arranged with co-workers for team bonding. Crimbo Slang for Christmas. A cropper To make a mistake or to have something bad happen to you which makes you less successful than before. Cup Final A football match held to determine British football's top club in a knockout competition. Dogging Anonymous, public sex between strangers, usually taking place in cars or outdoors and in the presence of voyeurs. Doing yourself down Putting yourself down Done and dusted Successfully completed; over and done with. Drivel To talk stupidly and carelessly. Duchy hamper A gift basket of food goods from the Duchy of Cornwall, which is Prince Charles brand. Face like a smacked arse A miserable or sad face. Flat Apartment. Flatmates Roommates. Fleet Street The London street that was the origin and home of British newspapers until the 1980s. Still used as a metonym of the British national press. Flogging To sell, often with great effort. Fortnums Short for Fortnum & Mason, a traditional food department store in central London. Its clientele comprises Royalty and tourists. Gawp To stare obtrusively. Gok Wan A camp male British fashion consultant, a cross between Fashion Polices Joan Rivers and George Kotsiopoulos.

Grog Alcohol. Gunners Nickname for Arsenal F.C. Hang about Wait a moment! Hold on! Harrods food hall Food department at the exclusive Knightsbridge department store. Having a go To make fun of/tease/mock someone. Having a row Having an argument. Hilton NCP Car park in central London. Home Counties A term that refers to the counties that encircle London, but do not include the capital itself. Many of its inhabitants are well heeled a bit like Connecticut. Home House A central London private members club for people that cant get into Annabels. House of Windsor The Royal Family. Islington A North London borough that is still trying to recover its cool after Tony Blair lived there. Jeremy Kyle The British version of Jerry Springer and no less vile. Keep schtum Keep Quiet. Kensal Rise Up and coming neighbourhood in North West London. Knickers Panties. Knightsbridge A road in an exclusive district in central London think Park Avenue. The term also refers to the surrounding streets. Master of the Horse The Master of the Horse was once a very important role in the sovereigns household, now largely ceremonial. Loos Toilets. Made a massive tit of herself Made a fool of herself. M4 British highway; links London with South Wales. Match A game. Meeja Media. Slang term comes from the way word is said in trendy East London accent. Millwall F.C. A not particularly good English professional football team.

Muppet Foolish or incompetent person. Myla London British designer of naughty luxury lingerie and sleepwear. Local nick Local police station. Nigella Lawson Best selling food writer and television host. Her trademark is cooking food sensuously. NW10 A postal code in North West London, encompassing Kensal Rise, where Tuesday lives. Ovington Gardens Extremely pricey real estate in Londons Knightsbridge area, equivalent of a Park Avenue address in NYC. Paxman A British journalist famed for his aggressive questioning. Peter Jones 1. A British entrepreneur and businessman turned TV celebrity on shows such as Dragons Den (UK) and American Inventor (US). 2. A middle class department store in London beloved of Carole Middleton. Pimms A potent liquor mixed with lemonade and fruit, drunk by the English in summer, normally under an umbrella in freezing rain. A right plank An idiot. Prig An irritatingly arrogant or smug person. Quags Quaglinos restaurant, central London. The place to be seen in 1993. Part of the Conran group. Roger To have sexual intercourse. Roger that An expression used for radio communication meaning got it or I heard you. Post The mail. Pram An old fashioned stroller. Radio 2 BBC Radio 2 is the most popular radio station in Britain, run by the Beeb. Rebekah Brooks Pre hacking scandal was Rupert Murdochs right hand woman. Ross Kemp Ex-husband of Rebekah Brooks, also ex soapstar turned investigative TV presenter. Sacked Fired from a job. Sarah Brown Wife of former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Scupper To thwart, to prevent from succeeding.

Settee A couch. Shagging Sexual intercourse. Slag A promiscuous woman. Also occasionally heard with reference to such men. Slanging match A heated exchange of abuse. Slog To work very hard. Slug A large gulp. Sod it An exclamation of contempt or frustration. Sozzled Drunk. Spanner in the works A problem with the current situation. Sprog A child. Starkers Naked. From stark naked. Stitched me up To betray with false evidence. Strop, Stropping, Stroppy, Strops-a-second A bad mood, a fit of fury more fitting for a toddler but indulged in by an adult. Stoke Stoke City Football Club. A surprisingly successful little big English professional football club. Stone English measurement for weight. 1 stone = 14 lbs. Stuff up To mess up. Stuffed up Screwed up. SW3 London postal code that encompasses the area of Chelsea, similar in price and residents to the Upper East Side. SW19 London postal code that encompasses the All England Club, the location of the Wimbledon tennis tournament. T3 Terminal 3 at Londons Heathrow Airport. Tamara Mellon London shoe designer behind Jimmy Choo brand. Tart A promiscuous person. Tosser An idiot. Twat 1. The female genitals. [1600s] 2. A contemptible person, an idiot.

Up the spout gone wrong. WAGS Stands for Wives And Girlfriends, usually used in derogatory manner to those attached to Sports stars. Waitrose Waitrose is an upmarket supermarket chain. Owned by the same company as Peter Jones, its clientele is identical. Wanker 1. A masturbator. 2. A contemptible person. 3. An idiot, an incompetent person. Often all three. Winding me up To tell lies or joke at the expense of the recipient. Wobbled Its like being tongue-tied, but for the brain.