Seddit - WIKI: Core Materials:Inner Game - part 2

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One sedditor's heartfelt story of inner game improvement

How I rebuilt mys elf by puaCurveBall I wanted to elaborate on this recent comment I left, s ince a few people as ked for a more detailed pos t. Edit: I was only expecting two people or so to care about this, so WOW!!! I'm speechless reddit! Just hit #1 in /r/seduction, I am honored. I'm still reading every comment. Bas ically, this is how I changed my life, AMA.

Starting Point
I was 25, only had 1 girlfriend who I los t virginity to. Small kid in highs chool, I was the picked on, geeky kid. No real romantic involvement until my firs t girlfriend at 17(las ted 8 years ). Had a crus h on my bes t friend from 14-17, we hung out everyday, never really made a move(fml). I really believed no girl would find me s exy. I had never called a girl, flirted with one, gone on a date, none of that. At 25. This was 2 years ago. However I had a lot of pos itives going for me. Firs t, I had ins ane confidence in my abilities to learn and live life. Even though I didn't think a girl would be s exually attracted, I have a great career, lot of interes ting s kills and a great life. I believed I had value and I trus ted mys elf to act correctly. Second, I am a performer(actor, magician), s ince a young age I've loved being the center of attention, even in beta ways . This helped me be comfortable at opening and telling s tories , even though s tories had a lot of low value qualities in them.

Beliefs
People s elf-reinforce roles that have worked for them in the pas t From a young age, I realized I could get through s chool by being a clas s clown, backing down when bullied. Once that worked, and it was how my s ocial circle s aw me, any attempt to act as the alpha or popular was met with res is tance. You s ee this all the time, you can take a popular kid, move them to a new s chool and next thing you know they are a goth kid getting picked on. The "alphas " are not alpha by s pecial talent or ability, they took the role at a young age by chance, and continually were s elf-reinforced in that role. This means your "role" is a choice, and you can change it anytime you want. You are what you think. It is pretty much proven that if you cons tantly think negative s ad thoughts , you will be s ad. If you think pos itive thoughts , you will be happy. We are what we think, and what we think is a controllable proces s . If you can't s top thinking "I'm s o worthles s , I can't attract a woman", then you won't be able to. If you expect to find evidence of s omething, you will. This is a natural proces s , and it is a good one. (within reas on, when monitored) If you go through life looking for X, then you will find evidence for X where you might not have s een it, and ignore conflicting evidence. If you look for Y, then s ame thing, meaning you might ignore X. This has a huge impact on your life, and it places extreme importance on what you are looking for and expect to find rather than the data(experience) its elf. So if you go out, expect to find women who are attracted to you, rather than looking for reas ons they aren't. People res pond to you how you expect to be treated. Random high quality people you meet have no idea who you are as a pers on. No one really does , and we can't take weeks to judge people. So we expect everyone to s elf-broadcas t their s ocial s tanding, and if uns ure we tes t them, if they res pond to the tes t then we believe them. If you "Hack" the s ys tem, there is no way for them to challenge you. How could Brad Pitt prove he is a s ucces s ful guy and s ex s ymbol if s tuck in s ome bar in the middle of nowhere with people that haven't s een his movies ? What would s top you from acting the s ame and convincing an entire bar you are a movie s tar? Focus on internal change not res ults . If your goal is to get 20 #'s or to kis s 2 girls , and then you don't get that due to random chance, then you failed. You feel s ad, you wonder what went wrong. Screw that! You s hould focus on doing your bes t, having a good time. Don't be outcome dependent! Jus t do your bes t, and trus t yours elf. This avoids collecting evidence agains t your progres s and s tops you from giving yours elf reas ons to fail. Often my goal is jus t "Make s omeone s mile" when approaching a s et. I always win!!!

Tools

Controlling Thought: Thinking good things This is the eas y one. Repeat good beliefs , attitudes and expectations in your head. Force yours elf to think this over and over.(Even if it is n't true yet or you don't believe it) My pers ona is : I I I I I have a lot of women in my life, and I am us ed to them chas ing me am extremely picky with women as my time is valuable am high value, leader of men, relaxed, and s exual. Alpha minds et often take 10's home for a night of mutual fun with no expectations meet a lot of cool people in my life, this is normal for me

What I expect and look for: Every girl here is trying to s educe me and take me back to her place Every bump, s mile, laugh is a thinly veiled attempt to s educe me Guys look to me to lead, s eek my approval and give them value Mos t of this s tuff is eas ily learnable from s tandard pickup/s eduction s ources , but you really need to drill it in your head and res pond genuinely as if that is where you are coming from. Edit: I felt like an actor getting into character. I was n't s aying thes e things as affirmations , but I was figuratively "getting into the head" of s omeone with abundance in s ucces s with women. I forced mys elf to believe girls flirting with me was normal and expected, even though in the beginning I knew that was n't the cas e. Slowly this became more real for me, until I believed it completely. Even now I do this before going out or before a date jus t to s tay s harp and focus ed, however it is more like remembering things about mys elf rather than as an actor getting into character. Not thinking bad things This is much more difficult and where everyone has trouble. You need to be able to control your thoughts , and s hut off your mind. I am going to us e this word, but don't freak out: Meditation. I am not talking about s itting in front of a wall, lighting incens e, playing s oothing mus ic or any crap. Meditation is about having a tool to s hut off your brain's internal chatter. This takes practice, but you can do it at work, in the grocery line, at a bar: anywhere, anytime. Jus t focus on a s pot, on a s ound, on your breathing whatever, and let any thoughts briefly pas s and move on. Do this until you can cons cious ly avoid the thoughts from forming in the firs t place, until you can s ilence the nois e. This is a s kill you get better at over time, after awhile you'll be amazed how eas y this becomes ! Now everytime you find yours elf lis ting reas ons to fail, reliving failures or negative s tuff, take 5-10 s econds and s top yours elf. Take 5 minutes if you need to, but once you s ilence them, replace them with good thoughts and beliefs .

Memories:
Make a lis t of your s ucces s es , your good memories . Maybe it was jus t a girl s miling at you, maybe it was a kis s , maybe it was a wild threes ome. Lock thos e in and force yours elf to remember them, let them give you confidence. The Persona Brief explanation of why pers ona is important over "Tactics ". A million things you are not ready for will come up, and you need to res pond like s omeone who often has amazing s exual relations hips with women. Beyond all the words you s ay or kino you do, you need to have this larger "world-view" reality s etup where it is a normal thing to meet a girl and take them home. Many PUA guys will entertain, neg, do kino all the right s tuff, but don't clos e becaus e it is not what they expect and not part of their reality that they project.

The Process About 30 minutes before going out, get yours elf into a good s pace. Relive your s ucces s es , repeat your expectations and pos itive minds ets . I keep this up until I get to the club, date or daygame s pot. This gives you a chance to s ee if any negative thoughts are coming up, and practice s hutting them down.

Once there, I'm monitoring body for tens ion. If my s houlders are getting tight or whatever, deep breaths focus ing on everything to relax. If it is mental, then I s tare at my drink or the wall for 30 s econds and meditate, s hutting out all thought. Often, I'll get s ome female eye contact that breaks me out of this (be aware of your s urroundings ). Be looking for your expectations to be fulfilled, notice the IOIs (s miles , laughs , touches ) you get. Afterwards , remember the night, again focus on your s ucces s es . Going through failures is fine, but once you think through them once, tell yours elf "I've learned everything I can from that, and thinking about it longer is jus t harmful" then meditate and s hut it out. Along the way, look for really deep changes . My big s ticking point was not thinking I could be s exy or "make a girl horny". It was hard, but s lowly I s tarted to believe I could. This was bols tered with evidence from girls telling me how s exy I am, getting makeouts , threes omes , etc. It took awhile and was a leap of faith to jus t let mys elf believe it. I haven't looked back. Closing I'm not trying to preach the truth or give an abs olute plan, jus t relate my pers onal s tory and what worked for me. Take from it what you will, thank you for reading.

Steps you can take to improve your being & mindset

How to play the game right. Jus t from what I know from my own experiences . by s parkreas on Here's a guide that helped me in my life. I hope it will help you all. Step 1. YOU Look s o much time is s pent worrying about the girl. You need to s quas h that right now and focus on yours elf. Get that in order and girls are eas y. Now I'm not s aying you will unders tand them. F that, but attracting women is a piece of cake. Start looking good, and I mean it. Focus on making s ure your clothes fit right, you have s ome s ens e of s tyle that defines you. There are tons of cheap thrift s tores out there s o s tart planning what kind of clothes embody you as a pers on. Make s ure your hair is kept up, you nails are clean, your hygiene is good. White s trips , and s hower at leas t 2 times a day. AT LEAST. Now that you are looking pres entable let's focus on making your hobbies cool. If you are geeky this is eas y there are plenty of things to geek out about, but make s ure you have at leas t one hobby that is building s omething with your hands . You are a man. Man us e tools , man make s hit or pos s ibly break s hit, but you get it. You need s omething phys ical that you do as a hobby. Fis hing counts , whatever jus t not s omething that involves flas hing lights ALL the time. Your mind. Read books , and I don't mean comic books thos e are cool, but get real books that are interes ting and try and read at leas t one book a week. That's 52 books a year. Do s omething athletic for at leas t 30 minutes a day 4 times a week. So every other day you jog, weights , ride your bike, s wim laps , exercis e bike, but jus t 30 minutes that's all you need. Eat right. That means 3 s quare meals good protein light on the carbs eats your veggies . Try to s teer clear from fas t food. Learn to cook and prepare good meals for yours elf. Get good s leep. 8 hours every night. Give yours elf at leas t 30 minutes everyday for yours elf that you reflect on you and what you can do better and improve on. Pat yours elf on the back for things you did well, don't dwell on the mis takes jus t get yours elf motivated to really get a handle on things . Work/School - Give 100% effort. Whatever you put in that's what you will get out. Sometimes things won't neces s arily go your way, but jus t roll with it and keep giving 100% effort. In the end it all adds up. Congrats you are a man. You take care of your bus ines s , you treat yours elf right, and you actually have the right attitude going now let's get to the girls . Girls are drawn to confident guys who have their s hit together. It's that s imple. Since you now have your s hit together you s hould be confident about that. Let every s ingle thing mis take with women in your pas t go. Drop it all. You are a new man, and the old vers ion of you was nothing more than a memory of which you can format and s tart fres h. Let the girls naturally approach you in s ome way. You don't have to hunt, every fool tries that but you don't need to. You have a good life going on. Cas ually s trike up a convo through an introduction or a chance meeting. Keep them talking but reveal as

little about you as pos s ible. If they are game they will let you know. If you are doing s omething like checking out clothes or going to a movie or whatever invite them along. I always treat every woman like that unattractive girl that you like becaus e s he's nice even if I am unattracted to them. They are never my focus . My life is my focus and they are jus t gues t appearing in this epis ode. If they want to be a full time cas t member they are going to have to dazzle me. I do what I want when I want to do it, I don't put up with bs or flakeynes s , or s tupidity. So if I invite them to s omething and they bail well than they are never invited to anything again. Friendzone is eas y to avert. Don't let them get too clos e to you, and don't get to know them too well. If things get pers onal I always either leave or change the s ubject. If you do it right women are purs uing you, and it is s o eas y. You have a couple interes ted in hanging out and the more they s tart flocking. I always keep things light hearted don't get too inves ted, and that als o means don't go buying them a bunch of crap. That s ends the wrong mes s age completely. Never let them know where you s tand with them, always keep them gues s ing. The les s you s ay the more they will want to know, and the more they want to know about you the better. It's not hard after that. They'll put thems elves in a pos ition where you both are alone and then it really is your call on making a move, but know that once you do their is no turning back. Give them one s tep forward but then two s teps back. Always give them the feeling that you will bolt and go another direction. If they are really into you they'll s tart working harder for your attention and affection. Women do this to men all the time, but you can eas ily flip it on them. Always be res pectful, but s trong and firm in your decis ions . If you make a move make a real move where there is no ques tion about it, but don't freak or recoil if its not reciprocated. Roll with it and jus t s ay it was jus t an impuls e becaus e s he's attractive. That's all it is . Don't be needy, Don't be clingy that's what they do, and not what a man does . You have your life to lead s o lead it and that's pretty much it. I've dated A LOT of women, and it took me years to get it down right, but once you do it's s o eas y that you'll laugh and wonder why you were ever nervous in the firs t place. TL;DR - Get your life s orted firs t. Initiate but don't commit, live YOUR life and women will gravitate to you. Try to live their life and they will run.

How to carry the energy from your "good nights" with you as you develop
Peak Experiences defined: The Nights You Have That Top All Others and How To Have More of Them. by BLuefack This s ubmis s ion is about a more s ophis ticated topic. If you are looking for s tep-by-s tep ins tructions , go read The Game, or s omething els e publis hed when PU was s till in its infancy. This deals with a topic that PU has evolved into: Developing a s trong s kill s et, enhancing your every day mood which yields s trong res ults , and es tablis hing reference experiences that s erve to train your s elf to jus t relax and go with the flow. Peak Experiences Weve all had them. Nights where we go out and everything jus t clicks . You are dialed in and every s et you open is receptive. You number clos e the hottes t girls in the place and every s ingle damn one of them is texting you before you can even leave the es tablis hment. Men much bigger and intimidating than you are moving out of your way that were there firs t when you approach the bar to order a drink. Girls open you. A s weeping momentum of s ocial proof es calates out of control and turns into an effortles s feeding frenzy. And finally the clos e. Even multiple clos es . This is different than jus t being in s tate. State is a mood, a s tate of mind. A s tate of being. We are talking about outcomes here. I am des cribing the nights where every s ingle outcome that you des ire happens naturally. It is as if you are s imply watching the events unfold in front of your eyes . The bes t and mos t cooles t movie depicting how your life could be, and is . Peak experiences are s tate independent, they can happen regardles s of what s tate you are in.

Peak experiences are s tate independent, they can happen regardles s of what s tate you are in. Weve all had them, and weve all wanted them to happen more often For s ome jus t s tarting out trying to over come approach anxiety a peak experience could be a night opening 10 s ets where all are receptive, maybe a number clos e here and there. For an intermediate level it could be making out with a girl that could be cons idered out of your league. For the more advanced, it could be a night befriending the entire environment, diffus ing any phys ical tens ion before it aris es between guys you dont even know, and of cours e taking home and s leeping with the HB10 blonde AND brunette bartenders . Peak experiences are relative to how developed your s kill s et is , and this is what I am going to talk about. I am a math and s cience kind of guy, s o I grew up learning how to interpret lots of data quickly us ing graphs . Pleas e take a look at the following image before continuing reading the res t of the s ubmis s ion. Excus e the crappy quality. Its a quick s ketch I did by hand to illus trate the points I am trying to get acros s . Future illus trations will be done on computer.

Pay attention to the average outcome bar of each graph. Peak experiences and lulls , their counterpoint, tend to balance out the average experience we might have when we go out, or when ever we are being s ocial. If we take home both of the bartenders on a peak night, than an average night probably cons is ts of being able to cons is tently pick up an HB8 and clos ing. This would be s omeone with a very s trongly developed s kill s et whos outcomes are defined by Figure C, in which cas e the average experience will always mos tly be pos itive, and while you s till will experience a lull from time to time due to s omething effecting your mood, your lull will s till be a more pos itive out come compared to when you jus t s tarted out. Do you follow? Someone with a s trongly developed s kill s et who can pick up and clos e an attractive girl almos t every nights wors t lull would probably only be number clos ing and talking to everyone comfortably. While a beginner, whos outcomes can be expres s ed s omewhere between Figure A and B would experience a lull that trans lates into approaching jus t a s ingle s et and getting s hot down and walking home with his tail between his legs . Okay. I get it. We all know that the better you are, the better your experiences will tend to be. And of cours e s omeone who is extremely developed that has a bad night will be better than s omeone jus t s tarting out having a good night. The point here is paying attention to the type of out comes you are experiencing on average nights . If you want to improve you have to pus h yours elf and reach for thos e really high outcomes that yield a peak night. What peak nights do for us is es tablis h reference experiences in our mind that s et our every day mood. If I have a peak experience s ay once a month that cons is ts of taking home both bartenders at the s ame time, do you think I will ever be worried about approaching and us ing s ome rehears ed line to s top the HB8-10 I s ee on the way to the bathroom? Of cours e not, that will jus t come natural becaus e I jus t took home BOTH OF THE BARTNEDERS. I wouldnt even think twice about it. Strong Reference Experiences Serve to make us abs olutely comfortable in s ituations that are not as extreme as the ones experienced when we had the peak experience. In other words , the more peak experiences you have, the more pos itive your average nights will be. We cant always force a peak experience; s ometimes it jus t happens out of our control or when we leas t expect it. But what we can do is handle everything that is under our control in order to keep us aligned to having as many peak experiences as pos s ible for the level of experience and s kill s et that we are at. For every peak experience you have, if you are s omewhere around Figure B or below, immediately go for what you think would be the peak experience above that. Cons tantly try to one up yours elf. Turn it into a game. I approached 10 s ets las t time I am going to approach 20 today. I approached 20 today I am going to number clos e 3. I number clos ed 3 jus t to number clos e, I am going to find the hottes t mos t des ired fucking girl in this place and play with her all night until I number clos e HER. And If I dont do it tonight, Im going to go out every night until I do! I number clos ed her las t time, I am going to find the s ame type of girl tonight, and tonight I am going to take her home, throw her on the floor and a fuck her until my knees bleed and her voice is los t from s creaming out my name. This Is What You Are After Once you s tart following that trend do you think you will ever feel uncomfortable opening another s et ever again? What about as king for a number? Do you think you will have to fumble with what to s ay to open or interrupt or do you think youll jus t be able to pop in and s ay Hi, followed by what ever is mos t appropriate thing at the time? This is what it is all about. This is true calibration. And this is what you are after. In The Mean Time Support your local s edditors by reading, up voting, and commenting on s ubmis s ions you enjoy and want more of. Add to the dis cus s ion, chances are there is a lurker who has your s ame exact ques tion. Check out the following s ubmis s ions if you

havent already, I will s lowly be adding to the below index with s ubmis s ions that I think are high quality and have great content. If you want to learn how to help her los e her voice when you take her home like mentioned above, check out KYTs how to be a legendary lover below. I didnt write it, but he took all the words right out of my mouth and I agree with every s ingle letter in that s ubmis s ion. If you want to learn to be more s ocial and not be s o s tres s ed out when around other people, but actually improve your mood, check out introvers ion vs extrovers ion and why it matters . And for Gods s ake if you havent already go buy The Blueprint by RSD and lis ten to that s hit every day and get up to s peed. And jus t to clarify, no, I am not at the level of having peak experiences that cons is t of taking home both bartenders . that was us ed jus t to demons trate a point. I would s ay that I am s omewhere in between figure B and C leaning towards figure C. I got to where I am quickly by reaching as high as I could on the ladder of experiences , than reaching up with my other hand at the s ame time as I pulled my s elf up to grab the next rung even above that one. Inner Game - Part 3 >>>