THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY!

The optimist says the glass is half full The pessimist says the glass is half empty The p!o"e#t ma$age! says the glass is t%i#e as &ig as it $ee's to &e The !ealist says the glass #o$tai$s half the !e(ui!e' amou$t of li(ui' fo! it to o)e!flo% A$' the #y$i# %o$'e!s %ho '!a$* the othe! half The s#hool tea#he! says it+s $ot a&out %hethe! the glass is half empty o! half full, it+s %hethe! the!e is somethi$g i$ the glass at all A$y%ay Attitu'e is $ot a&out %hethe! the glass is half full o! half empty, it+s a&out %ho is payi$g fo! the $e-t !ou$' The p!ofessio$al t!ai$e! 'oes $ot #a!e if the glass is half full o! half empty. he "ust *$o%s that sta!ti$g the 'is#ussio$ %ill gi)e him te$ mi$utes to figu!e out %hy his po%e! poi$t p!ese$tatio$ is $ot %o!*i$g The g!ou$'/'o%$ mothe! of a pe!siste$tly 'ema$'i$g fi)e/yea!/ol' says s%eethea!t it+s %hate)e! you %a$t it to &e, "ust please let mummy ha)e fi)e mi$utes pea#e a$' (uiet The #o$sulta$t says let+s e-ami$e the (uestio$, p!epa!e a st!ategy fo! a$ a$s%e!, a$' all fo! a 'aily !ate of The i$(uisiti)e t!ou&lema*e! %a$ts to *$o% %hat+s i$ the glass a$yho% !est of it a$' %a$ts the

The home&uil'e! sees the 'i!ty glass, %ashes a$' '!ies it, the$ puts it a%ay i$ a #ustom oa* a$' et#he' glass #a&i$et that he &uilt himself usi$g o$ly ha$' tools The %o!!ie! f!ets that the !emai$i$g half %ill e)apo!ate &y $e-t mo!$i$g The fa$ati# thi$*s the glass is #ompletely full, e)e$ though it is$+t The e$t!ep!e$eu! sees the glass as u$'e!)alue' &y half its pote$tial The #ompute! spe#ialist says that $e-t yea! the glass #apa#ity %ill 'ou&le, &e half the p!i#e, &ut #ost you 012 mo!e fo! me to gi)e you the a$s%e! The fi!st e$gi$ee! says the glass is o)e!/'esig$e' fo! the (ua$tity of %ate!

The se#o$' e$gi$ee! says 3%he$ the half is tai$te'4 he+s gla' he put the othe! half i$ a !e'u$'a$t glass 35ase' o$ a 6il&e!t #a!too$ &y S#ott A'ams4 The #ompute! p!og!amme! says the glass is full/empty The 5u''hist says 'o$+t %o!!y. !emem&e! the glass is al!ea'y &!o*e$ The logi#ia$ says that %he!e the glass is i$ p!o#ess of &ei$g fille' the$ it is half full. %he!e it is i$ the p!o#ess of &ei$g emptie' the$ it is half empty. a$' %he!e its status i$ te!ms of &ei$g fille' o! emptie' is u$*$o%$ the$ the glass is o$e i$ %hi#h a &ou$'a!y &et%ee$ li(ui' a$' gas lies e-a#tly mi'%ay &et%ee$ the i$si'e &ottom a$' the uppe! !im, assumi$g that the glass has pa!allel si'es a$' !ests o$ a le)el su!fa#e, a$' %he!e it 'oes $ot the$ the li(ui'7gas &ou$'a!y lies e-a#tly mi'%ay &et%ee$ the uppe! a$' lo%e! e(ual hal)es of the a)aila&le total )olume of sai' glass The s#ie$tist says a guess &ase' o$ a )isual #ue is i$a##u!ate, so ma!* the glass at the &ottom of the me$is#us of the #o$te$t, pou! the #o$te$t i$to a &igge! glass. fill the empty glass %ith f!esh #o$te$t up to the ma!*. a'' the o!igi$al #o$te$t &a#* i$. if the #om&i$e' #o$te$t o)e!flo%s the lip, the glass %as mo!e tha$ half full. if it 'oes$+t !ea#h the top, the glass %as mo!e tha$ half empty. if it $eithe! o)e!flo%s $o! fails to !ea#h the top the$ it %as eithe! half/full o! half/empty 8o% %hat %as the (uestio$ agai$9 The 6ut#hma$ %oul' suggest to &oth pay fo! the glass a$' sha!e the #o$te$t The$ tells you he %ill ha)e the &ottom half The pe!so$al #oa#h *$o%s that the glass goes f!om full to empty 'epe$'i$g o$ the #i!#umsta$#es, a$' !emi$'s the '!i$*e! that he #a$ al%ays fill the glass %he$ he %ishes The g!amma!ia$ says that %hile the te!ms half/full a$' half/empty a!e #ollo(uially a##epta&le the glass #a$ te#h$i#ally &e $eithe! si$#e &oth full a$' empty a!e a&solute states a$' the!efo!e a!e i$#apa&le of &ei$g hal)e' o! mo'ifie' i$ a$y %ay The au'ito! fi!st #he#*s %hethe! the empty half is mate!ial a$' the$ 'esig$s the au'it p!o#e'u!es to o&tai$ suffi#ie$t e)i'e$#e to #o$#lu'e that the glass is i$'ee' empty The %aite! %ill hu!!y to !epla#e the glass %ith a full o$e Fo! him the!e a!e $o 'ou&ts: the glass %as empty %he$ he too* it a%ay. it is full i$ the &ill that he &!i$gs you The magi#ia$ %ill sho% you the glass %ith the full half at the top The physi#ist says that the glass is $ot empty at all / it is half/fille' %ith %ate! a$' half/ fille' %ith ai! / he$#e, fully fille' o$ the %hole! The musi#ia$ says he7she is u$imp!esse' %ith the p!omote! of the #o$#e!t fo! $ot p!o)i'i$g mo!e al#ohol

The i$effe#ti)e o!ga$i;atio$ %oul' 'is#uss the (uestio$ 'u!i$g the &oa!' of 'i!e#to!s meeti$g, #o$)e$e a #ommittee to !esea!#h the p!o&lem, a$' assig$ tas*s fo! a !oot #ause a$alysis, usually %ithout a #omplete e-pla$atio$ of the p!o&lem to those assig$e' the tas*s The 'i!e#to!s %oul' #o$si'e! the p!o&lem to &e a&o)e the pay g!a'e of those assig$e' !oot #ause a$alysis tas*s A$' mo!e st!a$gely: The 'og "ust %o$'e!s: #a$ he eat the glass o! %ill you th!o% it so he #a$ &!i$g it &a#* The #at %o$'e!s %hy the glass is o$ly half full 3o! empty4 is it a t!i#* poiso$ pe!haps The ete!$ally optimisti# e##e$t!i# %oul' say, the glass is #o$siste$tly o)e!flo%i$g 3o! is that the $eu!oti#9 4 The pe!so$ %ho is $o lo$ge! t!appe' i$ The Mat!i- 3%hate)e! o$e might #all him7he!4 says: <The!e is $o glass < Mo!e ge$e!atio$ally: The a'oles#e$t stu'e$t says the glass is "ust a$othe! 'i!ty t!i#* playe' &y the tea#he! to p!o)e that stu'e$ts a!e 'um& Mo!e s#ie$tifi#ally: The !esea!#h s#ie$tist says that follo%i$g i$itial o&se!)atio$ a$' testi$g a %o!*i$g hypothesis fo! fu!the! !esea!#h is: <The glass is &oth half full a$' half empty,< a$' that these fi$'i$gs %a!!a$t fu!the! i$)estigatio$ %ith a mo!e !ep!ese$tati)e sample of glasses a$' #o$te$ts, %hi#h may o! may $ot &e li(ui' The alge&!ai# simulta$eous e(uatio$ theo!ist says that if the glass is e(ually half full a$' half empty, the$ half full = half empty. the!efo!e > - F = > - E. the!efo!e 3&y multiplyi$g &oth si'es of the e(uatio$ &y ?4 %e sho% that F = E. i e Full e(uals Empty! The effi#ie$#y a$alyst says the glass is ope!ati$g su&sta$tially &elo% optimi;atio$ le)el, &ei$g #o$siste$tly e-a#tly 012 u$'e!/utili;e' 'u!i$g the pe!io' of assessme$t, #o!!espo$'i$g to a$ o)e!/!esou!#i$g i$ meeti$g 'ema$' e(uati$g to p!e#isely ?112 of !e(uisite #apa#ity i$ )olume te!ms, $ot a##ou$ti$g fo! seaso$al t!e$'s a$' sh!i$*age, a$' that if the situatio$ #o$ti$ues the!e is i$ theo!y oppo!tu$ity fo! sa)i$gs o! e-pa$sio$ The +pe!fe#t+ @A01s house%ife %oul' $ot lea)e the glass sitti$g the!e lo$g e$ough fo! a$yo$e to #o$si'e! the (uestio$, &ut %oul' s#oop it up, %ash it up, '!y it to a gleami$g shi$e a$' put it &a#* i$ the glass #a&i$et i$ a "iffy 8o half/full o! half/empty i$ he! %o!l' "ust a full glass o! a$ u$ti'y o$e

The o&sessi)e #ompulsi)e postpo$es the (uestio$ u$til the le)el is #he#*e', a$' #he#*e' agai$, a$' agai$, a$' agai$ The pho&i# says yu#*, someo$e '!a$* out of it a$' left his ge!ms o$ the glass The psy#hiat!ist %oul' as* you, <Bs the half/empty7half/full glass !eally that impo!ta$t9 B mea$ !eally9 Thi$* a&out it Bf fa#t, let+s $ot Let+s set that pa!ti#ula! issue asi'e fo! a fe% mome$ts a$' tal* a&out %hat+s !eally &othe!i$g you < The sales pe!so$ %ill #o$)i$#e you that e)e$ though the glass is half full7empty you a!e getti$g mo!e tha$ you! mo$ey+s %o!th #ompa!e' to &uyi$g a full glass The full glass is less e-pe$si)e &e#ause of the e#o$omies of p!o'u#i$g a #ommo$ sta$'a!' )e!sio$ i$ &ig (ua$tities, %he!eas the mo!e e-pe$si)e half full7empty glass !ep!ese$ts mu#h &ette! )alue &e#ause it is mo!e e-#lusi)e a$' &ette! (uality, a$' )e!y ha!' to #ome &y a$' g!eatly sought afte! The #ustome! se!)i#e age$t %ill ag!ee %ith you that the glass is half full7empty, a$' he %ill 'o a$ythi$g i$ his po%e! to fill the glass up at $o e-t!a #ost Ho%e)e!, afte! a full i$)estigatio$ you %ill &e i$fo!me' that you mista*e$ly !e#ei)e' a half full7empty glass si$#e you o$ly pai' fo! a (ua!te! You the!efo!e !e#ei)e' a half full7empty glass at the p!i#e of a (ua!te!/full7th!ee/(ua!te!s empty glass You shoul' #o$si'e! you!self )e!y lu#*y, a$' that a$y fu!the! #omplai$ts might !esult i$ you! ha)i$g to !etu!$ the half full7empty glass at you! o%$ #ost, %ith $o gua!a$tee of a$y !efu$' The #o/'epe$'e$t hu!!ies to fill you! glass, &ut $ot so #ompletely that you %oul' spill it a$' get upset 5e#ause %he$ you get upset The 3suggestio$s %el#ome fo! this o$e4 says that+s $ot my glass, mi$e %as &igge! The !a'i#al tha$*ful #hil' of Cesus says, <THE DUP RU88ETH OEER < The Taoist sees that the glass is &oth half empty a$' half full, that $eithe! half #oul' e-ist %ithout the othe!, !e(ui!i$g a poi$t of &ala$#e i$ o!'e! to mai$tai$ e(uili&!ium i$ the u$i)e!se, a$' the!efo!e, a!e me!ely t%o mi!!o! images of the same !ealisti# #o$#ept, so i$ the pu!ity of a&solute t!uth the glass is $eithe! half full o! half empty, the glass simply BS The optimist says: <The glass is half/full < The pessimist says: <The glass is half/empty< A$' %hile they a!e a!gui$g, the p!agmatist ta*es the glass a$' '!i$*s it The &oss e-pe#ts the half/empty glass to &e fille' i$ half the time it too* to fill half the glass, at half the goi$g !ate The '!ill se!gea$t says ma*e the glass 'o push/ups u$til it s%eats itself full!!!

S#h!F'i$ge!+s #at 'oes$+t %a$t a$yo$e to o&se!)e the glass to &egi$ %ith 3+S#h!F'i$ge!+s #at+ !efe!s to Aust!ia$ physi#ist E!%i$ S#h!F'i$ge!+s @AG0 pa!a'o-i#al illust!atio$ of a$ aspe#t of (ua$tum me#ha$i#s theo!y, &asi#ally i$ %hi#h a #at, !ep!ese$ti$g somethi$g that #a$ e-ist i$ 'iffe!e$t states, #o$ti$ues to e-ist i$ t%o possi&le states / i e , ali)e o! 'ea' / u$til o$e of its possi&le states is measu!e', %hi#h i$ the #ase of the #at !esults i$ its e-ti$#tio$ B thi$* B am ope$ to &ette! #o$#ise i$te!p!etatio$s of the S#h!F'i$ge!+s #at theo!y 4 The poli#e offi#e! says: <B+ll as* the (uestio$s < The 3othe!4 pessimist says the glass is half full of shit The oppo!tu$ist says, <Tha$*s, fol*s! Hhile you %e!e 'e&ati$g it, B '!a$* it < The Geo!'ie says, <6i' you spill my pi$t9< 3Geo!'ie ge$e!ally !efe!s to people of the Ty$esi'e #o$u!&atio$ of 8E E$gla$', #e$t!e' a!ou$' 8e%#astle, *$o%$ fo! &ei$g )e!y st!aight tal*e!s The att!i&utio$ is ho%e)e! t!a$sfe!a&le )e!y %i'ely, so a'apt it a##o!'i$gly 4 The ma!*eti$g p!ofessio$al #o$)i$#es the &uye! that %hat+s left is mo!e )alua&le tha$ the fi!st half The &a$*e! says: <B see a$ oppo!tu$ity! Let+s put a #ouple of optio$s o$ the full half a$' le)e!age it u$til it+s too &ig to fail, the$ sell a to$s of it He#*! Hhile %e a!e at it, let+s 'o the same to the empty half a$' sell that too!< Eeyo!e says 3to Hi$$ie/the/Pooh4, <Hell, at least you ha)e a glass < The a#to! says, <Hhate)e! the 'i!e#to! %a$ts it to &e / o! $ot to &e < The politi#ia$ says that u$'e! the last go)e!$me$t the glass %as half/empty, a$' &e#omi$g emptie!, &ut tha$*s to his o%$ pa!ty+s $e% lea'e!ship, the glass is 'efi$itely $o% half/full, a$' &e#omi$g fulle!. &ut if the othe! pa!ty %e!e to !etu!$ to po%e!, the glass %oul' o$#e agai$ u$'ou&te'ly empty !api'ly The e#o$omist says let ma!*et fo!#es 'e#i'e The #all/#e$t!e ope!ato! as*s if you+' mi$' hol'i$g %hile she fi$'s out fo! you 3You! #all is impo!ta$t to them 4 The BT suppo!t pe!so$ as*s if you+)e t!ie' emptyi$g the glass a$' the$ !efilli$g it The i$som$ia# %ill &e up all $ight %!estli$g %ith the (uestio$ The e-iste$tialist %o$'e!s %hat is the poi$t of the (uestio$

The $ihilist &!ea*s the glass The Iey$esia$ a!gues that the glass is half/empty, a$' that go)e!$me$t $ee's to i$te!)e$e to fill it up The mo$eta!ist, o$ the othe! ha$', &elie)es that the glass %ill $atu!ally te$' to &ei$g full, a$' that to i$te!fe!e %ith it %oul' !esult i$ a$ i$effi#ie$t use of the #o$te$ts, %ith some (uite possi&ly &ei$g spille' a$' %aste' A #e!tai$ US p!esi'e$t 'i' $ot, !epeat $ot, ha)e half/full o! half/empty !elatio$s %ith that glass, a$' !ega!'less of %hethe! the glass is half/full o! half/empty, a$othe! US p!esi'e$t ta*es the oppo!tu$ity to 'e#la!e +Missio$ A##omplishe'+ De!tai$ %hali$g $atio$s say they %ill '!i$* f!om the glass fo! s#ie$tifi# !esea!#h pu!poses o$ly The Yo!*shi!ema$ sta!es at his half/empty7half/full half/pi$t glass 3&ought %ith loose #oppe! pe$$ies a$' tuppe$#es f!om the mil* &ottle o$ the *it#he$ %i$'o%sill4 the$ loo*s you i$ the eye a$' says, <Bt+s you! !ou$', mi$e+s a pi$t < 3The att!i&utio$ is t!a$sfe!a&le %i'ely, so a'apt it a##o!'i$gly 4 The glass half/full pe!so$ is optimisti# the &a!ma$ is still se!)i$g The Helfa!e 5e$efits A')ise! says, <You+!e u$'e!#laimi$g You+!e e$title' to mo!e tha$ that B #a$ help you fill i$ a fo!m to #laim the !est of you! e$titleme$t < The py!oma$ia# %oul' set the glass o$ fi!e Google %oul' t!y to fi$' out fo! you i$ u$'e! 1 JK se#o$'s The gam&le! %oul' put all his mo$ey o$ eithe! o$e The #a! salesma$ %oul' t!y a$' sell you &oth the half/full a$' the half/empty glass mo'els, %hile #o$)i$#i$g you that you $ee' all the latest glass ha$'li$g ga'gets The philosophy stu'e$t %oul' say, <Hhat glass9<