Extra Sprinkles

By: smitten Cupcakes solve all of lifes problems almost _______________________________________

Chapter One
Have a cupcake, he said to me ! looked up at him "rom #ehind my lar$e sun$lasses ! couldn%t help, #ut mentally smirk &he situation 'as ridiculous, really Here ! 'as sittin$ in the dark corner o" a co""ee shop 'ith a note#ook, hood over my head, sun$lasses on, and mopin$ a#out li"e 'hile stirrin$ my co""ee Standin$ over me 'as this #oy dressed impecca#ly in a striped shirt and neatly pressed pants, and he 'as holdin$ out a pink papered #ox 'ith "our colour"ully decorated cupcakes (eally, he insisted, 'hile shovin$ the #ox into my "ace &he aroma o" the vanilla cupcakes si"ted throu$h my senses, and ! 'as "indin$ it really hard to say no But, ! couldn%t ! needed 'illpo'er today ! set my mouth into a $rim line He al'ays did this Every time ! 'as "eelin$ less than ama)in$ *the reason #ecause o" a certain #oy+, he 'ould sho' up 'ith a pink #ox o" cupcakes that he made himsel" Stop "ro'nin$, noona, he chastised me ,es, he 'as t'o years youn$er than me and he 'as already actin$ like my mother -ro'nin$ leads to ne$ative thou$hts and ne$ative thou$hts lead to a ne$ative li"e (eally .hat kind o" /0 year old #oy says that1 2pparently, 3ee Seun$ri does Seun$ri 'as not your typical /0 year old, at all He liked to #ake, meditated in the early mornin$ "ollo'ed #y yo$a, and clearly liked to develop philosophical ideas in his spare time He 'as like the B-*#est "riend "orever+ you never had, that is i" your B-- 'as 4 inches taller than you, had impecca#le style and 'as an overly optimistic #oy 2t this point, he actually shoved my co""ee and note#ook to the side and placed the cupcakes in "ront o" me 5ot even askin$ to sit do'n, he plopped onto the chair in "ront o" me ! $lared at him .ell, at least ! tried to #ehind my dark $lasses O" course, these sun$lasses 'ere the most ridiculous thin$s in the 'orld, !%ll admit, #ut it added to the mopin$, an$st ridden teena$e role o" today Seun$ri sat do'n and $ave me a pointed look and ! stared #ack !t%s a ridiculous starin$ $ame, and ! kno' that !%m $oin$ to lose &his is the standard thin$ that happens every 'eek 'hen that idiot #oy"riend o" mine scre's up ! put #oy"riend in 6uotes #ecause ! never kne' i" he 'ould continue #ein$ my #oy"riend #y the end o" the day or not ,ou kno' ho' there%s al'ays that "amous couple that is al'ays on a$ain and o"" a$ain, and you never kno' 'hen they%re to$ether or not1 .ell, that 'ould #e me and my #oy"riend

2"ter "i$htin$, ! 'ould come to this co""ee shop like an an$sty teena$er 'ith my note#ook and oversi)ed hoodie and order my usual co""ee Sooner or later, Seun$ri 'ould arrive 'ith the usual pink s6uare #ox 'ith "our per"ectly made vanilla cupcakes 2"ter much stu##ornness, ! 'ould eat them all and rant a#out my #oy"riend%s idiocy Seun$ri 'ould listen and reassure me that thin$s 'ould 'ork out in the end .e 'ould talk a #it more and ! 'ould eat all the cupcakes, and in the end, all my pro#lems 'ould #e resolved like a neatly tied #o', all due to cupcakes and Seun$ri ! $ave up !t didn%t matter i" ! 'as $oin$ to $ain 47848 pounds and look like a complete pi$ .ill po'er #e damned ! looked a'ay "rom Seun$ri and took o"" the lar$e sun$lasses ! $ra##ed an a6uamarine coloured cupcake and took a massive #ite ! could actually "eel Seun$ri smilin$ that arro$ant little smile o" his, #ut ! didn%t care Once the cupcake hit my taste #uds, ! kne' ! 'as in heaven ,es, it 'as enou$h to #e compared to heaven But really, you haven%t had a real cupcake until you%ve tried Seun$ri%s cupcakes 9ust "rom that "irst #ite, ! actually "elt #etter !t 'asn%t a, oh my $od, all the trou#les o" my li"e are $one and there"ore ! should #e skippin$ in "lo'er $ardens 'hile sin$in$ son$s #etter, #ut a ! am stupid, 'hy am ! actin$ like an idiot #etter !t%s ama)in$ that a cupcake could actually do that 2ll the country leaders declarin$ 'ar on one another, clearly, have never had a #atch o" cupcakes #aked "or them, #ecause i" they did, they de"initely 'ould not #e "i$htin$ and spurrin$ on 'ars 'ith one another ,es, this sounds very na:ve, #ut you should never dou#t the po'er o" a cupcake ! looked up "rom the cupcake and ! sa' Seun$ri%s expectant $a)e He already kno's 'hat 'as comin$, so ! mi$ht as 'ell ;ust $et it over 'ith He%s an idiot, ! said 'hile takin$ another #ite o" the cupcake Seun$ri nodded, slo'ly ! kno', he paused Break up 'ith him ! almost choked on the piece o" heaven in my mouth &hat 'asn%t 'hat he 'as supposed to say ! look up at him 'ith crum#s on the corner o" my mouth and "or a second ! thou$ht ! misheard him .hat1 ! said, in shock Break up 'ith him, he said calmly 2ll ! could do 'as stare at him 'ith a hal" eaten cupcake in my hand, and my mouth 'ide open 'ith crum#s on the corner Cupcakes solve all o" li"e%s pro#lems .ell, almost

Chapter &'o
&ime seemed to have stopped ,ou kno' in your typical drama 'hen somethin$ unexpected happens and everythin$ around the lead character ;ust "ree)es and dramatic music plays1 .ell, i" ! 'as in a drama, that%s 'hat 'ould have happened But, since !%m livin$ in a 'orld called reality that didn%t happen, instead li"e continued on and ! sat there lookin$ like an idiot

Seun$ri looked calm 2s i", tellin$ me to #reak up 'ith 9iyon$ *or <dra$on as he liked to #e called these days+ 'as a normal thin$ !t suddenly hit me =id my little Seun$ri 'ant me to #reak up 'ith 9i ,on$ #ecause he 'anted to date me1 Oh, the horror 'as all ! could think o", #ut then the next thou$ht ! had 'as: .2S HE C(2>,1 He clearly 'as #ecause he 'as sittin$ there calmly 'ithout even #attin$ a sin$le eyelash &he horror must have sho'n on my "ace #ecause Seun$ri 6uickly added, He%s an idiot, you%ve #een 'ith him "or a year, and he%s #een an idiot "or that 'hole year ! "ro'ned? completely "or$ettin$ my train o" thou$ht and 6uickly came to de"end my @#oy"riend% 5oA He has not #een an idiot "or the entire yearA Okay, may#e he 'as a #it o" an idiot, #ut B actually, ! had no idea 'hy ! 'as de"endin$ him, at the moment ! think it has #ecome a ha#it Okay, an idiot "or // months1 .hat di""erence does it make1 he asked me, impatiently .o', ! can%t help #ut think that he must really like me to #ecome all hu""ed up over this matter Seun$ri 'asn%t the type to $et an$ry or impatient easily !n "act, he 'as one o" the most calmin$, carin$ and patient people !%ve ever met So, to see him like this, 'ith his ri$ht hand tappin$ the ta#le in an irrita#le matter, eyes narro'ed and his mouth in a deep "ro'n, 'ell, it 'as di""erent and somethin$ ! 'as not used to ! hated to do 'hat ! 'as a#out to do, #ut ! couldn%t play make #elieve 'ith Seun$ri He 'as /0A He 'as ;ust a little #oy "or $oodness sakesA He 'ould "ind someone to replace me 6uickly ! ;ust hoped that my #reakin$ his heart 'ouldn%t stop him "rom makin$ cupcakes "or me OC2, ! C5O. Completely sel"ish, #ut ,OD have not had a Seun$ri cupcake, so you can%t really say anythin$ ! si$hed and reached out to hold Seun$ri%s tappin$ "in$ers ! $ra##ed hold o" them, and Seun$ri 6uickly $ave me a surprised look He 'as pro#a#ly shocked that ! 'as actually touchin$ him, #ut ! had to continue on Seun$ri, ! kno' 'e%ve #een "riends "or practically our entire lives, #ut this can%t happen, ! told him so"tly 2s you can see, ! have never #roken up 'ith anyone !%m completely $oin$ #y the ho' to #reak up: Corean drama style hand#ook, ri$ht no' &he characters al'ays reached out to hold the other%s hand, then they 'ould apolo$i)e in the so"t and sympathetic voice and hope"ully Seun$ri 'ouldn%t tell me that he%s #een dia$nosed 'ith a terminal illness and he had only 7 months to live He narro'ed his eyes in con"usion &he poor #oy ! think that ! should do this like a #andaid: 6uick and painless Okay, there may #e a #it o" pain #ecause ! could #e his "irst love "or all ! kno' Seun$ri, ! s6uee)ed his hand *the male lead al'ays does this+, !%m sorry, #ut ! ;ust don%t "eel the same 'ay as you He actually 'idened his eyes and stood up 6uickly .hat1 ! si$hed, a$ain Si$hin$ 'as #ecomin$ a ha#it in the past hour He really didn%t seem to #e takin$ the ne's, 'ell Eay#e, ! had to #e more 6uick and in your "ace1 .ho kne' #reakin$ up a nonFexistent romantic relationship 'ould #e this hard1

! looked up at Seun$ri and told it like it 'as, ! can%t #e your $irl"riend Seun$ri started to sputter and "lailed his arms &his 'as de"initely a turn "rom the cool and suave #oy he 'as Eay#e, tellin$ him in a pu#lic place 'asn%t the #est idea #ecause people 'ere startin$ to turn their attention to'ards us Seun$riA ! hissed at him !%m sorry, #ut it%s ;ust wrongA &here%s no 'ay that G 5oonaA he cut me o"" in an e6ually harsh 'hisper, once he stopped his sputterin$ and "lailin$ !%m not interested in youA ! #linked .hat1 ,es, you are 5o, he said, ! think ! 'ould kno' He looked around and noticed the numerous people starin$ in our direction, and sat do'n, tryin$ to avert his eyes "rom everyone in the ca"H 5ooooo, ! said He couldn%t #e not interested1 Could he1 &hen, 'hy did you tell me to #reak up 'ith 9iyon$1 He rolled his eyes at me and slo'ly said, Because he%s an idiot Ea;or emphasis on the 'ord idiot ,ou deserve #etter, noona &he harshness in his voice had disappeared, only to #e replaced 'ith his usual $entle demeanor .hat1 ! deserve #etter1 !s that person you1 ! asked ! kne' ! 'as soundin$ stupid, #ut am ! really that #ad at readin$ si$ns1 ,ahA he cried out ,ou%ve #een 'atchin$ too many dramasA Can%t a #oy and $irl ;ust #e "riends and nothin$ else1 ! opened my mouth to retort #ack, #ut he had a point 3ately, !%ve #een on a drama 'atchin$ kick ! think it%s sa"e to say that ! have a very unhealthy relationship 'ith dramas ! mean, is it really normal to #e stayin$ up till 0 am in the mornin$ ;ust to see i" she dies "rom cancer or not, even thou$h it%s a IIJ $iven that she 'ill But, you 'ere so insistent, ! mean B ! trailed o"" ! had no idea 'hat ! 'as sayin$ anymore ! ;ust 'anted to $ra# the three remainin$ cupcakes and hi$htail it out o" the co""ee shop !t%s called #ein$ a $ood "riend, noona, he said, nonchalantly 9iyon$ is an idiot, and you can%t keep puttin$ up 'ith his crap -ind someone ne', pre"era#ly your own age. 2$ain, 'ith the ma;or emphasis on @o'n a$e% ,ou kno' in animes or man$a 'hen the lead character does somethin$ completely stupid1 2"ter'ards, this #i$ cloud "loats over her head and li$htnin$ strikes her1 .ell, that%s ho' ! "elt Bein$ struck #y li$htnin$ in a t'o dimensional 'orld sounded a lot #etter than reality ! tried to say some 'ords, #ut really, anythin$ that came out o" my mouth at this point and time 'ould most likely make the situation 'orse &hen not only 'ould ! 'ant to #e struck #y t'o dimensional li$htnin$, #ut ;ust explode into a t'o dimensional "ire explosion ,es, ! reali)e that ! 'atch too much anime, as 'ell 5o 'onder, Seun$ri thinks !%m a psychotic mess, ri$ht no'

,ou are cra)y, noona, he tells me ! tu$$ed my hoodie so that it covered more o" my head and nodded ,es, it 'as true !, Cim ,uri, 'as cra)y ! mi$ht as 'ell em#race it Seun$ri shook his head, piti"ully, at me and pushed the cupcakes to'ards my direction 2ish, he si$hed and ru""led his hair 9ust eat the cupcakes ! 'as sittin$ there 'ith one hand under my chin and the other 6uickly $ra##in$ a cupcake out o" the #ox Hey, ! have ;ust humiliated mysel" in "ront o" my dearest "riend and possi#ly ruin any kind o" "riendship #et'een us, #ut ri$ht no', these could easily #e the last cupcakes ! ever $et "rom him O#viously, ! #e$an cho'in$ do'n those cupcakes like they 'ere my last meal 2i$oo, ! heard Seun$ri murmur, as ! 'as "inishin$ the last piece o" cupcake, 'hy do ! have such a pi$ "or a noona1 ,ahA ! cried out, #ut that pro#a#ly 'asn%t a $ood idea #ecause my mouth 'as "illed 'ith cupcakes and hal" o" it came out Seein$ that Seun$ri 'as sittin$ ri$ht in "ront o" me, all the crum#s landed on his clean #lue striped s'eater Seun$ri #linked Oh, this 'asn%t $oin$ to #e $ood Some #oys treat their cars like actual people &hey talk to them like their #a#ies and they take care o" them like they%re their o'n kids !" there is so much as a scratch on their car, they "lip and $o cra)y !n a 'ay, Seun$ri is like that 'ith his clothes ,ou could say he%s a #it vain, #ut he ;ust really likes to take care o" himsel", ! $uess 2ll o" his clothes are neatly pressed and ironed, and you 'ill never "ind him 'earin$ #a$$y ;eans or oversi)ed hoodies Eay#e that 'as 'hy Seun$ri 'asn%t a hu$e "an o" 9iyon$ So, i" dust, 'ater or $od "or#id, "ood, ever make contact 'ith Seun$ri%s clothes, let%s ;ust say it%s not a $ood idea to #e 'ithin K meters o" him <enerally, he%s an all around nice #oy, #ut ;ust "or your sa"ety, never $et in #et'een him and his clothes ! closed my eyes and pushed my chair #ack a little, ;ust to prepare mysel" "or his out#urst But, a"ter 4 minutes o" complete silence, ! 'as $ettin$ a #it 'orried Had he passed out #ecause o" the shock1 ! opened an eye, ;ust to see i" he 'as still #reathin$ He 'as ! opened #oth eyes and sa' him sittin$ there 'ith his eyes closed and lips movin$ ! couldn%t hear 'hat he 'as murmurin$, so ! moved a #it closer Om mani padme hum, om mani padme hum, om mani padme hum, he 'as 'hisperin$ .hat the hell1 Dm, Seun$ri1 ! prodded him He si$hed deeply and did a random hand motion He 'iped the crum#s a'ay on his shirt, and looked up at me 'ith a calm expression ,es1 .hat the hell1 those 'ere the only 'ords ! could "orm, smart ! kno' ! need to control my an$er, #ecause ne$ative thou$hts lead to a ne$ative li"e, he said .as

that #ecomin$ his ne' motto1 !t%s a meditation chant to cleanse the inner soul o" ne$ative ener$y ! stared at him !" it 'eren%t "or that massive stash that you have on your laptop, !%d think that you 'ere playin$ "or the other team He rolled his eyes at me .hoever sna$s me is $oin$ to #e lucky, noona, he started .hen did he $et so arro$ant1 Sorry to say, it%s not $oin$ to #e you ! stuck my ton$ue out at him? my usual response Because you%re cra)y, he added as an a"terthou$ht He #e$an to $et up and put on his li$ht 'ool ;acket ,ou%re leavin$1 ! asked suddenly 2re you that scarred #y me thinkin$ that you liked me1 ! said this all in dis#elie" He tied his plaid scar" neatly around his neck 5o, ! $et scarier o""ers "rom $irls in my class, much 'orse than the one comin$ "rom the cra)y noona sittin$ in "ront o" me He mi$ht as 'ell have ;ust 'rote out C(2>, on a si$n and nailed it next to me Sometimes, ! thou$ht ! 'as $oin$ to end up #ein$ the old, $rouchy and delusional 'oman do'n the street 'ith six cats Cim ,uri the cra)y cat lady, it has a nice rin$ to it 2ny'ays, ! $ave you my advice, he secured the hat around his head, and ! think that ,OD need to actually take it this time ! $lared at my "riend%s #ack as he 'alked out o" the ca"H ,ou almost 'ish that he had three months to live #ecause that 'as the crappiest piece o" advice he had ever $iven me So much "or cupcakes #ein$ the savior o" all the 'orld%s pro#lems ! pushed the pink #ox aside and returned to my no' cold co""ee !" cupcakes had the potential to save the 'orld, then co""ee 'as a close second 2 nice, hot #re'ed cup o" co""ee 'ith vanilla and ha)elnut "lavor shots seemed to make all your trou#les disappear But, considerin$ my co""ee 'as cold, it de"eated the 'hole purpose ! turned my attention to'ards the small note#ook that ! #rou$ht every'here 'ith me ! have the 'orst memory in the 'orld, and this note#ook practically holds my li"e !n it are reminders, lists, random 6uotes, and the advice that Seun$ri $ives me each time ! "lipped to the "irst #lank pa$e and 'rote do'n: January 7, 2 ! "eungri says# Jiyong is an idiot. $ump him and find someone your own age. ! si$hed heavily .hy couldn%t 9iyon$ #e one o" those per"ect #oy"riends ! al'ays sa' on dramas1 &he ones that 'ould tie #alloons and "lo'ers to your "ront door on special occasions or ;ust #ecause &he ones that 'ould 'rite meanin$"ul son$s a#out you &he ones that 'ould 'illin$ly hold your hand 'hile 'alkin$ ! stopped mysel" ! 'as startin$ to sound really pathetic Llease insert the $iant s'eat drop next to me, no', that you see in animes

2nother #ox o" cupcakes 'ould come in really handy, ri$ht no'

Chapter &hree
Babo writes: %ou can ride my pony &t aint all thin and bony %ouve got to know 'hat this is fo sho %uri, & miss u. ! scrolled throu$h the messa$e that 9iyon$ had ;ust texted me ! couldn%t help #ut think, .2S HE COEL3E&E3, OD& O- H!S E!5=1 .hat kind o" idiotic excuse o" an apolo$y rhymeMrap 'as that1 Oh yes, 9iyon$ 'as a @risin$% rapper (isin$ is in 6uotes #ecause he%s the only one that thinks he%s a risin$ star .ith the rhyme that he ;ust sent me, it looked like he 'ould #e the only one callin$ himsel" a @risin$% rapper, "or a'hile Seriously, 'ho sends a text like this1 5ormal #oys 'ould #e comparin$ their $irl"riends to sprin$ "lo'ers that #loom a"ter the harshness o" 'inter or pretty hummin$#irds, or somethin$ like that 5ormal #oys don%t send text messa$es a#out ridin$ ponies and 'hatnot 2lthou$h, pony didn%t mean pony and 'e o#viously hadn%t G it%s ;ust that G 'o', never mindA 3et%s ;ust say 9iyon$ had a very creative and uni6ue 'ay o" expressin$ himsel" ! $rum#led and prepared to $et ready "or school ! murmured to mysel" a#out unromantic #oy"riends and lack o" appreciation !t had #een a#out a 'eek since the "i$ht 'ith 9iyon$, and this had #een the "irst text he had sent me since ! thou$ht a#out textin$ him #ack 'ith a cra)y caps locked messa$e 'ith lots o" sym#ols and key#oard #ash, #ut it really 'asn%t 'orth the money to send such a text ! rushed out o" my room, and practically "le' do'n the stairs, yelled #ye to my mother #e"ore she could even do her usual lecture*s+, and out o" the door ,es, avoidin$ my mother%s lectures $reater exceeded my need "or "ood .ell, that is until ! 'as hal"'ay to school and my stomach started to $ro'l tremendously Eay#e a lecture as to 'hy ! should have ma;ored in Science and #ecome a 'orld "amous and rich doctor 'as 'orth a 'arm #reak"ast Ey phone #e$an to vi#rate a$ain, si$nalin$ that ! had received another text messa$e ! opened it up, and sure enou$h it 'as 9iyon$, Babo writes: (irl, im missin ya like cra)y *hy dont u believe meh %ou are like my bologna +ike dirt is to daisy Can we meet, ! stared at the text messa$e Some $irls $et compared to #eauti"ul roses, ! $et compared to

#olo$na ! hastily sent him a text messa$e #ack Yuri writes: go away, &m busy Short and to the point 9ust 'hen ! tossed my phone #ack inside my #a$, it #e$an to vi#rate a$ain Eutterin$ an$ry curses, ! du$ my phone out a$ain Babo writes: -o youre not. & can see you ! stopped midstep .hat1 ! looked around and expected to see a lar$e $roup o" #oys dressed in #lack, #a$$y clothes ready to kidnap me and #rin$ me to their leader 9iyon$ Ho' many times have innocent school $irls #een 'alkin$ do'n streets and $et pulled into a van #y random $an$ mem#ers #ecause their leader 'as dread"ully in love 'ith the $irl1 Hey, it could happenA .ell B i" 9iyon$ $re' a couple o" inches, and actually had a #and o" #oys to lead B ,es, 'ay too much drama 'atchin$, ! kno' But, it 'as #road dayli$ht and the road 'as sli$htly empty 2 "e' cars 'ould pass #y, and there 'ere a "e' pedestrians, #ut other than that, it 'as a #it 6uiet "or a Eonday mornin$ ! looked around my surroundin$s a$ain, and noticed the alley 'ay ;ust ahead o" me ! sa' a hooded head 'ith the tops o" his #ri$ht sun$lasses peepin$ throu$h the alley'ay .hen he noticed that ! 'as starin$ ri$ht at him, his head 6uickly disappeared into the darkness o" the alley ! shook my head Seriously1 9iyon$, you are such a loser, sometimes ! 'alked to'ards the alley'ay and poked my head in &here 'as 9iyon$ *or Ba#o, i" 'e%re $oin$ #y textin$ names+, his slim "rame leanin$ a$ainst the #rick 'all His 'ildly patterned hoodie 'as up, his red sun$lasses 'ere on and he looked cool and nonchalant He made it look as i" han$in$ around alley'ays 'ith a massive and smelly dumpster ri$ht next to you 'as a usual everyday occurrence ,ahA ! said .hat the hell are you doin$1 ! 'as expectin$ some lame excuse a#out ;ust randomly #ein$ in the same nei$h#ourhood "rom him ,ou kno', the 'hole ri$ht place at the ri$ht time excuse1 He looked at me "rom #ehind those sun$lasses o" his and pushed himsel" o"" o" the 'all .hat else 'as ! supposed to do1 ! kne' you 'eren%t $oin$ to pick up your phone i" ! called and ! de"initely kne' you 'ouldn%t open to door i" ! came to your house, he tried to explain to me .o' 9iyon$ 'as actually #ein$ up "ront a#out this1

But, he 'as ri$ht ! 'ould%ve done all o" the a#ove and pro#a#ly sic the apartment cat on him Some apartments have lar$e (ot'eillers $uardin$ their homes? 'e have a tiny 'hite cat .e don%t exactly have the #est relationship, 9iyon$ and !, do 'e1 ,ou could say our relationship is very extreme .hen 9iyon$ and ! are happy to$ether, 'e are NiNveryNMiO happy .hen 'e%re unhappy as a couple, 'e%re very unhappy, and 'e do some very #ad thin$s to each other Sometimes, ! think that the only reason 'e stay to$ether is "or those extreme happy moments .hat1 By stalkin$ me in smelly alley'ays1 .hat kind o" #oy"riend stalks their $irl"riend at ei$ht 2E in the mornin$1 ! cried out to him O#viously ! 'as overreactin$, #ut really, ei$ht 2E is too early "or this kind o" thin$ 9iyon$%s "ace had #een neutral since ! sa' him, #ut his mouth 6uirked into a $rin a"ter my little out#urst So, !%m still your #oy"riend1 ! #linked Crap ! didn%t mean that (e'ind, please1 2nd you still think you%re my $irl"riend1 he asked, hope"ully ! looked up at him 2lthou$h, 9iyon$ 'asn%t 6uite as tall as most #oys, he 'as still taller than me Oh, the ;oys o" #ein$ a short, Corean $irl? a"ter a$e /4, you stop $ro'in$ &he small smile on 9iyon$%s "ace that had appeared seconds a$o 'as still there 9iyon$ doesn%t smile, a lot He smirks, a lot, #ut smile, no (i$ht no', ! can%t help, #ut 'onder 'hy #ecause it%s a nice smile that almost makes me 'ant to "or$et every sin$le stupid thin$ he has done and ;ust continue on 'ith our #ipolar relationship &his moment, in this alley'ay #eside the $reen dumpster, 'ith 9iyon$%s hope"ul smile and my lookin$ up at him, it almost "elt like a "airy tale per"ect moment 'hen everythin$ comes to$ether e""ortlessly? 'hen all the pieces ;ust "all into place 2lmost &his is 'here !%d al'ays $et suckered in a"ter every "i$ht He%d "lash that small smile o" his and then !%d $ive in and 'e 'ould $o #ack to #ein$ the in"amous #ipolar couple Because, even thou$h he 'rote really silly rhymes and 'as ;ust plain dum#, sometimes, there 'as al'ays somethin$ that made me $o #ack to him ! continued starin$ at those red sun$lasses o" his Hal" o" me 'anted to yell out no and 'alk a'ay, and the other part o" me 'anted to say yes and ;ust $ra# him ! made due 'ith a compromise ! $ave him one last look, sputtered somethin$ incoherent and ran Cim ,uri, the cra)y and co'ardly lady, at your service ! heard 9iyon$ callin$ out to me, #ut his voice 'as "adin$ into the distance

.hen ! kne' that he 'as too "ar a'ay to catch up, ! stopped and tried to re$ain my #reath ! think ! mi$ht have run "or "ive minutes strai$ht ,ou kno', !%m possi#ly the most unathletic person in the 'orld *! #lame the cupcakes+, and ! could #arely run "or 4P seconds 'ithout completely passin$ out a"ter !t%s ama)in$ 'hat you can do 'hen your heart%s a mess and your mind is $oin$ cra)y ! 'as #reathin$ harshly, tryin$ to $et oxy$en #ack into my lun$s ! #reathed the cold 'inter air in, and #ack out &he "ree)in$ 'eather seemed to not have an e""ect on me 2$ain, you #ecome immune to stran$e thin$s 'hen your head *and heart1 2 little cheesey, ! think+ isn%t in the ri$ht place ! slid do'n onto the cold hard $round and tried to $et a sense o" normality into my head !, seriously, needed to "ind somethin$ called resistance 'hen it came to 9iyon$ Suddenly, a lar$e "i$ure stood in "ront o" me? #lockin$ the sunli$ht ! s6uinted and looked up, prayin$ that it 'asn%t 9iyon$ 2lthou$h that 'ould%ve made him one hell o" an athlete Sorry to say, #ut 9iyon$ 'as as unathletic as they came He 'as almost 'orse than me, 'hich is sayin$ a lot Sometimes, ! "eel like !%m cursed, the "i$ure said ! smiled 'hen ! heard his voice ! mean, 'hat did ! do in the past li"e to deserve this1 Seun$ri said 2ll ! 'anted 'as a co""ee, and ! see you here He stopped talkin$ and looked do'n at me ! have to admit, i" ! 'as Seun$ri ! 'ould have thou$ht ! looked pretty pathetic ri$ht no' Come on, !%ll #uy you a piece o" cheesecake, he si$hed and he 'alked into the 6uaint #akery 'ithout even askin$ me 'hat 'as 'ron$ or 'aitin$ "or me ! really didn%t have a choice, #ut to "ollo' him 2s ! 'as a#out to $et up, my phone #e$an to vi#rate a$ain, si$nalin$ another text messa$e 2lready kno'in$ 'ho it 'as, ! "lipped it open Babo writes: &m feeling .ueasy *ithot you /y days aint off the heasy Come back, boo ! si$hed ! looked "rom the text messa$e and then to the inside o" the #akery Cheesecake ;ust 'ouldn%t #e the same as cupcakes

Chapter -our
January 01, 2 ! Jiyongs smile is reallyugly, hideous, awful the most beautiful thing in the world.

"eungri says# &f a boy compares you to bologna and wants you to ride his horse, or s.uirrel or snake or whatever 2 %34 $4/5 6&/. ! 'as pathetic 2nd, cheesy Eore so pathetic, thou$h ! couldn%t even 'rite that his smile 'as $ross, hideous, dis$ustin$ or any other ad;ective "or the 'ord u$ly (esistance, sel" control, 'ill po'er1 Come #ack to me, please Bah Blar$h !ncoherent key#oard #ash SC9-39S39=C" Cim ,uri, 'hen did you #ecome such a lovesick sap1 !t 'as no' Q pm and ! 'as lyin$ in my room starin$ up at my lime $reen coloured ceilin$ and thinkin$ o" the day%s events ! ended up sittin$ 'ith Seun$ri "or a "e' moments #e"ore he had to $o to school 2"ter all, he 'as still in hi$h school and didn%t have the luxury o" havin$ the choice as to 'hether or not to attend classes like me But you really should $o to school 2 messed up heart and a cravin$ "or cupcakes isn%t a valid enou$h excuse to skip classes ! should learn to take my o'n advice, ri$ht1 ! told Seun$ri 'hat had happened 2lthou$h, it 'as de"initely not 'illin$ly #ecause a 'eek a$o he had told me to dump 9iyon$ and that o#viously hadn%t happened 2"ter a lot o" proddin$ and holdin$ the cheesecake hosta$e, ! handed him my phone so that he could read the messa$es 'hile ! dove in "or the cheesecake ! may have #een starin$ at the cheesecake 'hile Seun$ri 'as readin$ the messa$es, #ut ! already kne' 'hat his reaction 'as $oin$ to #e and it 'asn%t $oin$ to #e very pretty So until then, ! 'ould ;ust en;oy my cherry cheesecake and live in a delusional happy land "or the next /P seconds or so .hat1 Seun$ri "inally said He compared you to #olo$na1 He said the "inal note in a very $rave 'ay ! looked up, cheesecake and "ork still in my mouth, and nodded He #e$an to talk and scroll at the same time =o you even kno' 'hat #olo$na is1 !t%s the most dis$ustin$ piece o" meat, a"ter the hot do$, o" course ,ahA Bolo$na sand'iches are his "avourite "oodA ! cried out in 9iyon$%s de"ense &hen, ! cau$ht mysel" =ammit 9iyon$ 'as a hard ha#it to #reak

! sa' Seun$ri shake his head, #ut he stayed silent ! didn%t kno' i" that 'as a $ood thin$ or not 2pparently, it 'as a #ad thin$ #ecause he stood up and 'as preparin$ to leave ! opened my mouth *! remem#ered to che' all my "ood this time, thanks+ to say somethin$, #ut Seun$ri #eat me to it Sorry noona, #ut there%s thin$s in li"e that you ;ust have to learn on your o'n 'ithout the help o" others ,ou kno', the thin$s that s'eets or cupcakes can%t ma$ically solve anymore1 he said calmly 2nd, ! think that this is one o" them ! 'as actually speechless and all ! could do 'as stare at Seun$ri as he made his 'ay out o" the #akery ! heard him 6uietly murmur, Bolo$na1 H2H .hat the hell1 3ee Seun$ri, you 'in the a'ard "or 'orst don$saen$ "riend o" the year .hat kind o" advice 'as that1 .as there somethin$ in the co""ee these days that made your #est don$saen$ "riend $ive you dum# advice1 Or lack o" advice1 ! s'ear he%s /0 $oin$ on QP &hat or a middle a$ed 'oman stuck in a /0 year old #oy%s #ody Because, really, do ,OD kno' any /0 year olds 'ho 'ould $ive you that type o" advice1 Or advice #ecause it%s crap advice .hat he said 'as pretty much, Sorry noona, #ut !%m not $oin$ to help you, you%re $oin$ to have to make a hu$e idiot out o" yoursel" and "ix up your o'n pro#lems 'ith 9iyon$ and oh, ! 'on%t #e there to $ive you cupcakes &hanks .orst "riend a'ard, indeed Here, Seun$ri, !%ll even present it to you 2nd, no', here ! am: layin$ upside do'n on the ed$e o" my #ed and starin$ at the #ri$ht ceilin$ contemplatin$ my li"e &o an outsider, the action 'as clear: stop #ein$ an emo child, $o outside and do somethin$ !t seemed like the little voices inside o" my head 'ere yellin$ the same thin$ ! $ot up, more so #ecause o" the #lood rush to my head than the little voices !t 'as true thou$h Stayin$ inside this "our 'alled neon $reen room 'as only $oin$ to make me insane Ey mother 'ent on a little paintin$ spree 'hen ! 'as $one "or the summer She had the #ri$ht idea to paint every sin$le room a di""erent and #old colour !%m pretty sure 'e%re the only apartment on the #lock that has an a6uamarine livin$ room and a plum coloured #athroom ! $ra##ed my 'inter coat and 'alked out o" the apartment !" ! couldn%t have cupcakes then a co""ee 'ith dou#le shots o" vanilla and ha)elnut 'ould have to do ! 'alked to the co""ee shop ;ust #y my house and entered the small #uildin$ 2"ter takin$ one step into the shop, it "elt like home &he mello' music #ein$ played in the #ack$round, the distinct and #itters'eet smell o" co""ee #eans, and the pretty pastries lined up on the counter all $ave o"" a com"ortin$ "eelin$ ! ordered my drink and headed over to the service ta#le to add more su$ar, chocolate sprinkles, oh and more su$ar &he #aristas never seem to add enou$h su$ar "or my likin$ ,eah, yeah,

cavities, $ainin$ /P pounds, stomach aches, !%ve heard it all, #ut you ;ust don%t $et in #et'een a $irl and her su$ar ! 'as pourin$ my third packet o" su$ar into my drink 'hen someone interrupted me "rom #ehind ,ou kno', you%ll pro#a#ly #ecome dia#etic 'ith all that su$ar you put in there ! looked #ehind me and sa' a giant standin$ in "ront o" me 'ith a lar$e si)ed co""ee Okay, he%s not a $iant, #ut holy crap 'as he tall .hen ! turned around ! 'as lookin$ at his chest, so ! had to crane my neck up to look at his "ace &his #oy 'as dressed to the nines in an all #lack out"it 'ith a checkered scar" tucked inside his collar He had dark and heavy eyes "ramed 'ith a pair o" #lack $lasses ,ou kno' the sayin$, i" looks could kill1 .ell, !%m sure that i" you ever made this $uy an$ry, you%d #e dead 'ithin 4 seconds i" he stared you do'n ,es, very intense eyes, indeed !t%s nice to #e admired at, and all, #ut my co""ee is $ettin$ cold, he suddenly said, holdin$ up his cup ! snapped out o" my 'hole starin$ at him trance, and $ave him a sco'l Ho' rude 2s i", ! 'as admirin$ him ! 'as ;ust B checkin$ him out .hich e6uates to admirin$ ,uri, your math and common sense skills are on the #all today ! turned #ack to $ive my co""ee the attention it needed, and tried to take up as much space as ! could on the ta#le &ry as ! mi$ht, ! 'as still this tiny /I year old $irl, and ! #arely took up hal" o" the space 'hich is 'hy this checkered scar"ed and heavy eyed character could easily stand #eside me ! 'asn%t ;okin$ 'hen ! said that you%d #ecome dia#etic, Heavy Eyes said to me Ey nick namin$ skills are also on the #all today, too, no1 ! $ave him another sco'l as ! poured my "ourth packet o" su$ar into the cup But, then ! remem#ered 'hat Seun$ri said a#out sco'lin$ and ho' that 'ould eventually lead to 'rinkles and "ro'n lines Ey sco'l 6uickly turned into a #lank expression directed to'ards Heavy Eyes Ey little cousins o"ten say that my stares are intimidatin$, #ut clearly they 'eren%t #ecause Heavy Eyes did not look intimidated, at all !" anythin$, he looked amused Bastard &oday 'as not a $ood day to play around 'ith Cim ,uri ! looked over at his cup and noticed it 'as #lack Lure, dark #lack !t 'as like starin$ into a lar$e, neverFendin$ hole ! sco""ed at his drink .hat kind o" drink is that1 Black co""ee, that%s dis$ustin$, ! said !t 'as true Co""ee 'ithout su$ar 'as like cupcakes 'ithout "rostin$ !t seems like all ! have on the mind are cupcakes today, and ! 'ouldn%t #e surprised i" Heavy Eyes ;ust ma$ically turned into a $iant cupcake in "ront o" me Oh, the ;oys o" #ein$ a cra)y, co'ardly and delusional /I year old $irl !t%s real co""ee, not those prissy $irly drinks you%re drinkin$, he said, o"" handedly and $ra##ed

a lid to put on the co""ee ! actually stood there and tried to spit out some 'ords, #ut all that came out 'as the sputterin$ o" sounds !nstead, ! hu""ed like a Q year old and 'alked o"" 'ith my co""ee to the nearest ta#le Ho' incredi#ly rude 9ust 'hen ! thou$ht ! 'as rid o" him, he ended up sittin$ ri$ht in "ront o" me 2t the same ta#le ! stared at him He ;ust smiled and #e$an to drink his co""ee, as i" sittin$ do'n at a ta#le 'ith a random stran$er that you ;ust insulted 'as normal !t isn%t, #y the 'ay !%ve #een comin$ to this co""ee shop "or a "e' months no' and the only people that decide to sit do'n 'ith me are Seun$ri, 9iyon$ or Eunyoun$? people that ! kno' .hat are you doin$1 ! "inally said He took a sip Sittin$, he replied, as i" it 'as the most o#vious thin$ in the 'orld ! can see that, ! said, tryin$ not to lose my temper, #ut 'hy here1 &he co""ee shop is hal" emptyA ! $estured to all the empty ta#les in the shop He took another sip Hmm, ! kno', #ut ! like this ta#le ! #linked .hat1 .hy can%t you sit over there1 ! asked calmly, pointin$ to the one close to a 'indo' &oo close to a 'indo', it $ets me cold, he replied 2nd there1 ! pointed to one in the middle o" the shop &oo =irectly in "ront o" the sun, it%s too #ri$ht ! sco'led -ro'n lines, #e damned ! 'as a#out to $et up and move to another ta#le 'hen he suddenly said, So 'hy are you out in the cold1 !%m sure you didn%t leave your house ;ust "or the co""ee ! narro'ed my eyes at him &his 'as a really stran$e scene 2ll ! 'anted to do 'as drink my @$irly and prissy% co"""ee, as Heavy Eyes had coined it, in peace, #ut no, a random, al#eit cute, stran$er ;ust had to insult my co""ee tendencies and sit at my ta#le ,eah, it happens every day He 'as still lookin$ at me expectedly, and no' that ! thou$ht a#out it, this really 'as the #est ta#le in the shop !t 'as near the 'alls, and not too close to the 'indo's to #e cold and not so directly in "ront o" the sun to #e #linded ! hu""ed, a$ain !t seems like all ! can do is hu"" today, #ut ! decided to play alon$ Hey, i" ! 'as already sittin$ at the #est ta#le in the shop, ! mi$ht as 'ell do some chitchat 'ith Heavy Eyes instead o" sco'lin$ at him "or the next t'enty minutes and $et 'rinkles 2s a matter o" "act ! did, ! said pleasantly, or at least ! tried to #e ! need the co""ee to keep me a'ake, ! am a student, a"ter all Okay, total lie, #ut 'hat 'as ! suppose to say1 ! came out to

$et co""ee #ecause ! 'as close to $oin$ cra)y in my neon $reen room, my #est don$saen$ "riend is no lon$er $ivin$ me cupcakes, and oh, my #oy"riend compares me to #olo$na1 ! think not He nodded Oh, ! see, he said and he took another sip o" that dis$ustin$ #lack co""ee Cue a'k'ard silence .hy1 .hat are you doin$ out in the cold1 ! asked Silence $ets me unnerved ! needed inspiration, he said, #luntly ! 'as con"used !nspiration "or 'hat1 He shru$$ed and continued drinkin$ Oh, 'hat the hell1 <ettin$ a strai$ht ans'er out o" him 'as like $ettin$ 9iyon$ to compare me to a #eauti"ul rose? it 'asn%t very likely 2ren%t you a student, too1 ! asked Heavy Eyes, the sudden silence unsettlin$ ,eah, #ut !%m more o" a raBum, poet, he said ! looked at him 'ith 'ide eyes 2 poet1 Okay B Heavy Eyes took one more sip and set the co""ee do'n and looked at me ,ou kno', ! think 'e have a #it o" "lo' $oin$ on #et'een us, he said seriously -lo'1 H2H .hat 'as he talkin$ a#out1 ! didn%t even kno' his name, and our conversations consisted o" me askin$ 6uestions and him $ivin$ 7 'ord ans'ers .hat "lo'1 3et%s $et out o" here, he said, and started to $et up &here%s a 'inter carnival at the park "or charity, it could #e exactly 'hat ! need "or inspiration Huh1 =id ! look desperate or somethin$1 &hat ! 'ould ;ust "ollo' a random #oy o"" to 'ho kno's 'here1 B Okay, may#e ! did look a #it desperate, 'hat 'ith my hastily tied pony tail, no makeup, and lookin$ do'n, ! ;ust reali)ed that my shirt 'as on #ack'ards Oh li"e, 'hy do you hate me, so1 But, any'ays, o#viously ! 'asn%t $oin$ to "ollo' Heavy Eyes Speakin$ o" 'hich, ! didn%t even kno' his name and he didn%t kno' mine, and ! thou$ht that this 'ould #e a $ood time to mention it ,ahA ! cried out ! don%t kno' your name, and you don%t even kno' mineA Llus, you drink #lack co""ee and ! could never settle do'n 'ith anyone 'ho drank #lack co""ee !" 'e ever $ot married, ! 'ould have to 'ake up to the smell o" #lack co""ee every mornin$ and then ! 'ould

pro#a#ly #e sick !s that 'hat you 'ant1 -or your "uture 'i"e to #e sick every sin$le day1 Heavy Eyes stared at me -irst o" all, !%m Choi Seun$hyun, and you should already kno' that, and !%m ;ust askin$ you to $o to the park 'ith me !%m not puttin$ a rin$ on your "in$er and askin$ you 'hat 'e should name our "uture kids and o#viously ! 'ould never $ive up #lack co""ee "or you, he said, surprisin$ly calmly He 'as ri$ht, you are a cra)y noona, he murmured to himsel" ! 'as con"used a$ain 5ote to sel", don%t stay upside do'n on your #ed too lon$? your mind 'ill start to play "unny tricks on you .hat1 ! don%t even kno' 'ho you are, ! exclaimed Seun$hyun narro'ed his eyes at me %oure the one 'ho arran$ed this, Seun$ri called me up "or a "avor and said that there 'as a $irlF SED5<(!1 ! cried out !t must%ve sounded shrill #ecause Seun$hyun "linched He 6uickly recovered and said, ,esA 2nd that there 'as a $irl at the co""ee shop 'illin$ to pay "or my co""eeF'hich you still have to #y the 'ayFi" ! took her out to the park or somethin$ Ey expression 'as $ro'in$ more and more scary Oh, Seun$ri .hat is $oin$ on inside that head o" yours1 ! #e$an to tap my "in$ers earnestly on the 'ooden ta#le ! think Seun$hyun 'as #e$innin$ to $et a #it scared #ecause he said, (i$ht, ! $uess you didn%t kno', so !%m ;ust $oin$ to G 5oA ,ou stay there, and pay "or your o'n co""ee, 'hile ! $et a hold o" Seun$ri, ! exclaimed, 'hile di$$in$ out my cell phone "rom my #a$ ! "lipped it open and noticed that ! had one ne' messa$e: Babo writes: girl, & dont wanna be ronri foo &m getting serious, %uri call me soon Oh, my $od Ey mind 'as $oin$ to #urst .hat 'as a ronri "oo1 .as he comparin$ me to pepperoni, no'1 ! didn%t have time to 6uestion 9iyon$%s text (i$ht no', there 'as a certain /0 year old #oy that needed to die *67' 789 %34 $3&-(, *hy are you sending over random :but cute; boys to me,< =8&-( /9 C45C7>9" &-"'97$< ! snapped the phone shut, content 'ith my threatenin$ text messa$e 5o', 'hat to do 'ith Heavy Eyes1 ! looked up and noticed the empty seat in "ront o" me and 'hat 'as 'orse, an empty cup o" co""ee He must have snuck out .hat a co'ard

! stood up and intended to hunt do'n Heavy Eyes, #ut a #arista stopped me Sorry, miss, #ut your #oy"riend said that you 'ould #e payin$ "or his co""ee, she said politely 'ith a #ill in her hand ! pursed my lips and tried not to scream at the 'orld Choi Seun$hyun 3ee Seun$ri ,ou%re #oth dead FFF !t turns out that Heavy Eyes decided to #uy the most expensive #lack co""ee in the 'orld 2pparently, he 'as a "an o" the $irly and prissy drinks, too, #ecause he had overloaded on the vanilla, peppermint, and ha)elnut shots ! looked cra)y and deran$ed 'hile 'alkin$ do'n the street to'ards the park ! had ;ust spent all o" my money payin$ "or his prissy drink and ! 'anted it #ack, dammit ! could hear yells, lau$hter and music 2 si$n on a near#y pole said that a .inter Carnival held #y a local school to raise money "or charity 'as #ein$ held at the park today 2 carnival1 !n 9anuary1 Outside1 ! couldn%t seem to comprehend this Eay#e, ! had stayed upside do'n, too lon$ Or my an$er 'as a""ectin$ my head !t 'as complete chaos Cids runnin$ in circles, excited kissin$ #ooths, cold desserts #ein$ sold at ridiculous prices, a $iant "erris 'heel in the middle o" the park, and too loud music !t mi$ht have #een chaotic, and ! 'as out "or #lood, #ut hello, massive dessert #ooth stand at 7%o clock -ood does make everythin$ #etter Seriously 2"ter you%ve #roken up 'ith your #oy"riend, and cried your eyes out, hasn%t red #ean ice cream consoled you1 .hen you come home "rom "lunkin$ a test, don%t Shin noodles tell you that everythin$ is $oin$ to #e alri$ht1 Or, 'hen you "i$ht 'ith your "riends or "amily, doesn%t dduk#o$i sold at the street corner "ill you 'ith happiness1 (i$ht1 ! ended up standin$ in "ront o" the #ooth 'here the little old a;uhmma 'as #usy servin$ "ood to some 8 year olds Hey, it%s not like Heavy Eyes could $et very "ar, any'ays ! mi$ht as 'ell en;oy some pat #in$ soo 2s ! 'as readin$ the si$n, ! could hear a hu$e distur#ance #ehind me Someone 'as yellin$, and ! could hear hurried "ootsteps runnin$ to'ards my $eneral direction ! heard someone yell out, OH, H!A SO((, !%E 32&EA &he little old a;uhmma "inished 'ith the kids and then turned to'ards me 'ith a #ri$ht smile on her "ace ! smiled #ack and 'as a#out to $et an order o" pat #in$ soo, 'hen someone tapped me on the

shoulder Be"ore ! could even turn around, the person "ound it to #e a lot easier "or him to turn me around &he only thin$ ! could comprehend 'as nice hair and small eyes #e"ore his "ace came crashin$ do'n to'ards mine Okay .as this random #oy stran$er kissin$ me1 2lthou$h, ! really 'ouldn%t call this kissin$ #ecause he ;ust had his lips pressed a$ainst mine ! may not #e an expert at kissin$, #ut usually kissin$ involves the movement o" lips, eyes closed *mine 'ere wide open, althou$h his 'eren%t+ and most o" the time the participants have to #e 'illin$ Dh Be"ore, ! could even $et a $rasp o" the situation, he pulled #ack and said, !%m really sorry, and he ran o"" ! 'as le"t standin$ there like an idiot and the a;uhmma in the #ack$round starin$ at me very interested .ell, then ,ou kno', !%ve never $otten this much action "rom #oys in a day since $rade 4 'hen "ive #oys 'anted my #lue crayon Since 'hen did my li"e #ecome so dramaFlike1 ! #et !%m $oin$ to 'ake up tomorro' and "ind out that 9iyon$ is actually my cousin%s exFhus#and%s step son, and he%s the heir to some #i$ multiF #illion company Ey phone #e$an to vi#rate and it looked like Seun$ri had messa$ed me #ack ! "lipped it open expectin$ some kind o" apolo$y and a promise o" 74K74K #oxes o" cupcakes Or, not Babo writes: *hat, &m not sending you random guys< %oure seeing other guys, already,,,, C(2L !nsert every other s'ear 'ord kno'n to man here ! looked up to the sky !t 'as clear, and not a cloud 'as in si$ht .here 'as a li$htnin$ #olt to strike you dead 'hen you needed it1

Chapter -ive
!t really 'as a nice day, #ut it ;ust had to #e ruined #y a #oy .ell, in my case, #oys

! had 9iyon$, the #oy"riend 'ho compares me to meat *i" ! 'as a "eminist, you 'ould de"initely #e expectin$ some kind o" lecture or de#ate ri$ht a#out no'+? Seun$ri, the #est "riend, 'ho sets me up 'ith $iant "ree loaders? Seun$hyun, the "reeloader, himsel", 'ho likes $irly and prissy drinks? and then there 'as the random stran$er 'ho decided to do a 'alkF#y *or runF#y+ kissin$1 =amn ,uri, you #e pimpin% Or 'as it mackin%1 B Stupid 9iyon$ and his 2merican rap in"luences Clearly, it has had an e""ect on me Back to the point, it really did "eel like $rade 4 a$ain, ;ust 'ithout the #lue crayon 2nd, all ! can say ri$ht no' is: .hat the "reakin$ hell1 Excuse my lack o" voca#ulary, there%s a reason 'hy !%m not ma;orin$ in En$lish 2hemA came an impatient sound "rom #ehind me Oh, ri$ht, pat #in$ soo ! think that desserts can ease my con"usion "or the moment, even i" it%s only temporary ! turned around and sa' the a;uhmma $ivin$ me a look, and a#out K other customers standin$ in line #ehind me (i$ht !t%s pro#a#ly a $ood time to order #e"ore ! $et $lared to death #y all these hun$ry people 2n order o" pat #in$F, ,2HA ,ODA .ell, that sounded like it could #e directed to'ards me, #ut everyone is @yahA ,ouA% Sorry, !%ll have anFF, HE,A &he $irl 'ith the $reen coat and u$ly hatA ! 'as 'earin$ a $reen coat, #ut #y no means is my hat u$ly !%m talkin$ to youA <!(3 2& &HE =ESSE(& S&25= .HO 9DS& C!SSE= E, =2ESD5< OLL2A OhB damn She%s pro#a#ly talkin$ a#out me, isn%t she1 Should ! really turn around and pro#a#ly #e #eat to the $round #y some six "oot tall $irl"riend, or ;ust continue to play the @i$norance is #liss% $ame1 Both o" the options lead to the same outcome, it%s ;ust that one delayed it

! decided to $o 'ith option 2 and allo'ed the customers #ehind me to $o ahead !t 'as #etter to #e #eat to the $round #y one person, than a 'hole an$ry mo# o" dessert hun$ry "iends ! turned around, "ully expectin$ to see some extremely tall, pissed o"" $irl"riend, #ut instead, ! 'as lookin$Rdo'nRat a $irl no older than /P Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkay1 &his little $irl had her arms crossed and she 'as $larin$ at me so hard that her eyes 'ere reduced to slits ! sa' you kiss =aesun$ oppaA &echnically, he kissed me, #ut ! don%t think that 'ould make the situation any #etter i" ! mentioned it no' ! think you misunderstood the situation, ! said, $ently 'ith a smile on my "ace 2"ter all, she%s only /P? ! can%t $o o"" screamin$ and yellin$ at her ,ou kno', proper eti6uette and ladylike manners are needed in situations like this She rolled her eyes at me and sco""ed Stop lyin$A &hen she did somethin$ that ! really didn%t expect O.A ,ou littleFF She had kicked meA !5 &HE SH!5 &H!S /P ,E2( O3= She had one hard #oot #ecause that 'as one hard kick ! started to #ounce on one le$ #ecause o" the sheer pain she had in"licted on me ,2HA !%m your unnieA Sho' some respect, ! cried out, #ut she ;ust stood there smirkin$ at me Scre' proper eti6uette and ladylike manners, this little $irl 'as $oin$ to die ! $ave her my #est $lare, and she returned it "ull on and ! almost #acked a'ay ,eah, that%s pretty sad that !%m $ettin$ terri"ied o" a /P year old, #ut hello, she ;ust kicked me and she looks like one o" those $irls 'ho 'ould ro# you o" all your lunch money and snacks durin$ #reaks at school ,ou kissed =aesun$ oppa, she repeated, slo'ly 'ith a really scary look in her eyes -or the second time, ! really 'asn%t expectin$ her to do 'hat she 'as a#out to do She 'as "ull o" little surprises One second, she%s $ivin$ me the death $lare, and then the next, she%s startin$ to run at me at "ull speed, like a #ull 'ho had ;ust seen the colour red -ully expectin$ the 'orst, ! closed my eyes and hoped that my death 'ould #e 6uick and painless ! already could see the headlines: Stupid 19 Year Old Killed for Kissing 10 Year Olds Boyfriend 19 Year Old Attacked by irl !alf !er Age: "at#etic$ %uc#&

19 Year Old in 'o(a )ue to a *o+e 'ri(e wit# 10 Year Olds Boyfriend

!t didn%t matter ho' you put it, the headlines 'ould make me out like a perverted noona ! could already hear the 3D3>, #ecause you kno' the cra)y neti)ens 'ill #e all over it But, a"ter 4 minutes o" nothin$, and no seein$ the li$ht, ! opened my eyes &he /P year old $irl 'as #ein$ held #ack #y someone 'ith his #ack turned to me ! could see the $irl, clearly &he trans"ormation that her "ace 'ent throu$h 'as scary &'o seconds a$o, she looked like a cra)ed little $irl that 'as out "or #lood, and no', she 'as starin$ at 'hoever ;ust saved my li"e 'ith #i$ eyes "illed 'ith adoration &en year olds are scary Hee;inFah, 'hy are you attackin$ your unnie1 said a very smooth and "amiliar voice ! narro'ed my eyes at the "i$ure in "ront o" me &ilted hat, overly #a$$y pants, shiny ;acketR &2E,25<1 ! moved a "e' steps so that ! could "ully see them Hmph, she kissed =aesun$FoppaA Hee;in, the /P year old 'ho had ;ust tried to kill me, pouted at &aeyan$ =id she not say any other 'ords1 Speakin$ o" 'hich, 'hat was he doin$ here1 Oh, 'ho cares1 He ;ust saved my li"e, and prevented me "rom dyin$ a very em#arrassin$ death &aeyan$ deserves a medal, /PP vir$ins and a parade B 2ny'ays, &aeyan$ is 9iyon$%s #est "riend #ut he%s also a "riend o" mine He%s no Seun$ri, #ut he%s a close second He tried to #ake cupcakes "or me 'hen Seun$ri 'ent to 9apan "or a 'eek, #ut it didn%t exactly turn out 'ell 3et%s ;ust say that it involved the evacuation o" an entire street, "ive o" his "avourite hats #ein$ destroyed and a parrot that used to #e a#le to say /PPP 'ords, could no' only repeat the 'ords, @stop, drop and roll% ! told him to leave the #akin$ #usiness to Seun$ri, a"ter'ards !%m sure you sa' it 'ron$, &aeyan$ said in a very calmin$ voice Hee;in pouted and shook her head 5oA &hat unnie kissed my =aesun$Foppa, the #oy !%m $oin$ to marryA ! rolled my eyes at this Hee;in character She really 'as scary i" she could s'itch personalities so 6uick She 'as de"initely not callin$ me unnie t'o minutes a$o ! usually like kids, #ut ri$ht a#out no', not so much !%m sure there%s a $ood reason, &aeyan$ said, and placed his hand on Hee;in%s shoulder ! s'ear she looked like she 'as $oin$ to cry o" happiness .hat happened to =aesun$Foppa, Hee;inFah1 .hy don%t you $o #ack to your "riends, and !%ll come #ack tomorro' and 'e can ride the "erris

'heel to$ether, okay1 he said Hee;in smiled and $ave &aeyan$ a $reat #i$ hu$ .o' &aeyan$ had skills 5ot only could he save people "rom em#arrassin$ deaths, #ut he had the a#ility to turn intimidatin$ and murderous /P years old into a pile o" mush 2pplause, please Okay, oppaA she smiled and turned to leave, #ut 'hen she 'alked past me she $ave me the most horri"yin$ $lare !%ve ever seen in my li"e ! think !%ll #e havin$ ni$htmares o" children murderin$ me in my sleep toni$ht ,ou kissed her #oy"riend1 &aeyan$ play"ully said #ehind me 5o, technically, he kissed me ! ar$ued, #ut suddenly a thou$ht occurred to me Hey, ho' do you kno' them1 Oh, Can$ =aesun$1 He%s in one o" my classes, he%s a $ood $uy, &aeyan$ said, nonchalantly, minus the /P year old stalkin$ thin$ that%s happenin$ to him, that%s ;ust a #it distur#in$ She seems to have a likin$ to'ards you &aeyan$ lau$hed .hat can ! say1 !%m irresisti#le ! rolled my eyes at him He could #e a #it cocky, sometimes 2nd this explains the situation, ho'1 ! asked, still con"used He pro#a#ly kissed you to $et rid o" Hee;in, he replied, suddenly eyein$ the dessert stand #ehind me Can$ =aesun$, you sel"ish #astard .hat kind o" person leaves another person to the 'rath o" their cra)y, o#sessive /P year old stalker1 ! don%t think ! like you very much 2lthou$h, you do have nice hair ,ah, ! almost died #ecause o" himA Overreactin$, ;ust a #it, ! kno' Hey, ! value my li"e, thank you very much ,ou kno' that she%s hal" your hei$ht and 'ei$ht and pro#a#ly 'ouldn%t #e a#le to hurt a "ly even i" she 'anted to1 he said "rom #ehind me Lat #in$ soo, please ! turned around and $lared at &aeyan$ 5um#er one, "or thinkin$ that that /P year old 'ouldn%t snap me in hal" in a second and num#er t'o, "or orderin$ pat #in$ soo ! take #ack that parade, &aeyan$, and you can only have KP vir$ins He turned around and handed me his order o" pat #in$ soo, and turned #ack to order another one

Okay, you can have the parade #ack ! happily took the pat #in$ soo "rom his hands and immediately took a hu$e spoon"ul Oh desserts, ho' !%ve missed you =on%t 'orry, !%ll call him up and you can meet up 'ith him and yell at him all you 'ant, &aeyan$ said, comin$ #ack 'ith his dessert ! smiled -ine ,ou can have your /PP vir$ins, &aeyan$ !%ll 'alk you home, &aeyan$ said, it%s startin$ to $et dark ! looked up and noticed that the sky 'as no lon$er the clear li$ht #lue, #ut slo'ly turnin$ into a deep navy #lue &ime "lies 'hen you $et scammed into #uyin$ prissy drinks, kiss random stran$ers, and almost $et murdered #y /P year olds ! accepted &aeyan$%s o""er and 'e #e$an to 'alk home in a com"orta#le silence 'ith our pat #in$ soo ! 'as a little surprised that he hadn%t mentioned 9iyon$, yet &aeyan$ 'as 'hat a #oy"riend should #e, minus the a#ility o" turnin$ /P year olds into putty in his hands He 'alked you home 'hen it $ot dark and saved you "rom em#arrassin$ moments &aeyan$ did all this and more, and ! 'as ;ust a "riend ! can only ima$ine 'hat he 'ould do "or me i" ! 'as ever his $irl"riend Sometimes, ! thou$ht he had a tiny crush on me, #ut !%m pro#a#ly 'ron$ ! mean, look at 'hat happened 'ith Seun$ri Em#arrassin$, much1 Still, !%m not #i$ on the 'hole "riendship turned to romantic relationship thin$ &aeyan$ 'as, de"initely, in the same cate$ory 'ith Seun$ri &he cate$ory o": -riends and nothin$ more By the time, 'e $ot to my apartment, ni$ht had settled in and ! asked &aeyan$ i" he 'anted to come up "or a #it He a$reed and 'e made our 'ay up to the apartment .alkin$ up t'elve "li$hts o" stairs is not a "un thin$ to do, especially i" you%ve ;ust eaten a lar$e servin$ o" pat #in$ soo, and i" you%re considered one o" the most unathletic people in the 'orld By the time, 'e reached my apartment, ! 'as ;ust a#out ready to pass out ! practically cra'led my 'ay to the kitchen to $ra# a $lass o" 'ater ! came #ack out to the livin$ room to see &aeyan$ sittin$ there His $old ;acket matched the a6uamarine 'alls, ! noticed He looked a #it unnerved and his hands kept chan$in$ positions He suddenly looked up and smiled nervously ,uriFah, 'hat%s $oin$ on 'ith you and 9iyon$1 2h, there it 'as .ell, ! don%t kno', everythin$%s up in the air, ri$ht no', ! said 'hile handin$ him a $lass o" 'ater ,uriFah, ! think ! shouldR ! mean, yeah, he can #e a #it o" an idiot sometimes, #ut ! still like him a lot

! really 'antR He%s that #oy, you kno'1 &he type that you al'ays $o #ack to ! 'ish ! could stop rantin$ a#out 9iyon$ #ecause !%m rantin$ to his best friend, here But, once ! start ! usually can%t stop ,uri, ! think ! mi$ht like you .ell, that stopped me &aeyan$ (eally1 .H,1 ,ou 'ere one o" the only normal and consistent thin$s in my li"eA ,uri, !%m not sayin$ that ! like you, #ut ;ust to consider me as somethin$ more than a "riend i" you and 9iyon$ ever #reak up, he said, slo'ly, pausin$ every no' and then to "ind the per"ect 'ord He then 6uickly added, But, ! don%t 'ant this to a""ect our "riendshipA ! al'ays hated it 'hen people say, ! hope this doesn%t a""ect our "riendship .ell, 'hen you admit that you have romantic "eelin$s "or a "riend, it kind o" a""ects the "riendshipA He 'as lookin$ expectantly at me, 'aitin$ "or some kind o" response 2s you already kno', !%m horri#le at situations like this ! "ollo' the nonexistent Corean =ramas: ,our <uide to 3ove hand#ook "or my love li"e, #ut ! don%t think this has happened in a drama yet Have you heard o" the story line o" a $irl%s on a$ain and o"" a$ain #oy"riend%s #est "riend savin$ her "rom an an$ry /P year old $irl #ecause her much older oppa kissed the main $irl, and he admits that he might have "eelin$s "or the main $irl1 Con"usin$, much1 Someone please 'rite a drama a#out this, so that ! 'ill kno' 'hat to do i" this ever happens a$ain 2"ter a#out Q minutes o" a very a'k'ard silence *a'k'ard turtle moment, anyone1+, the door#ell ran$ ! don%t think !%ve ever #een so happy to hear the sound o" a door#ell in my li"e ! 'as really hopin$ that it 'ould #e my parents or nei$h#or #ecause then they 'ould see &aeyan$ and the situation 'ould ;ust #ecome 7K4K times more a'k'ard BD&, #ut in capitals, that 'ould mean &aeyan$ 'ould have to leave 3ike almost everyone, my parents ;ust can%t $et the clue that a #oy and $irl can ;ust #e "riends 2pparently, &aeyan$ thou$ht the same, too, #ecause here he 'as con"essin$ his possi#le @like% to'ards me ! opened the door, and "or the second time in the day, ! didn%t kno' 'hether to lau$h or cry

&here 'as 9iyon$ standin$ there in a lar$e parka 'ith his si$nature skinny ;eans and shiny shoes, and his cell phone in his hand ,uri, 'e need to talk, he said, and pushed past me and 'alked into the apartment Oh, hi 9iyon$A !t%s #een a'hileA Sure, you can come in, ! said to the empty space in "ront o" me 'ith a smile, #ut then ! sco'led and closed the door ! don%t $et it, ! meanRhey, 'hat are you doin$ here1 9iyon$ suddenly sa' &aeyan$ 'alkin$ out o" the kitchen 'ith a #o'l o" udon noodles in his hands .hen did ! say he could help himsel" to the kitchen1 2nd 'as he eatin$ the "ood my mother made last ni$ht1 Ey parents 'ork late, so ! either starve or eat le"tovers, and it looked like ! 'as $oin$ to #e starvin$ toni$ht &aeyan$, didn%t you kno' that the #est 'ay to a $irl%s heart is throu$h her stomach1 2re you the $uy seein$ ,uri1 .hat are you doin$1 9iyon$ an$rily asked, turnin$ his massive 'inter hat to the side Oh, ! ;ust 'alked ,uri home #ecause it 'as $ettin$ dark, &aeyan$ ans'ered, 'hile takin$ a spoon"ul o" my "ood He 'as pretty calm, as i" he hadn%t ;ust said, ! mi$ht like you, to his #est "riend%s $irl"riend .hat do you mean ,uri%s seein$ other $uys1 He turned to look at me .hatever happened to the sayin$, @#ros #e"ore hos1% 5ot that !%m callin$ mysel" a ho #ecause that 'ould ;ust #eRoh, never mind, you $et 'hat !%m sayin$ Oh, thanks "or lookin$ a"ter my $irl, man, 9iyon$ said and $ave &aeyan$ a pat on the #ack as i" he had done a $ood trick He then turned to me and "lipped out his cell phone So yeah, you%re $oin$ out 'ith other #oys, already1 he asked me, so"tly He didn%t even look up "rom his phone ! si$hed 5oA !%m not even $oin$ outR #ut #e"ore ! could even say anythin$ else, 9iyon$ put his cell phone, 'ith the text messa$e ! had accidently sent him, ri$ht in "ront o" my "ace &hen 'hat%s this messa$e1 he asked me =amn my ina#ility to text the ri$ht person ! remem#er last month 'hen Eunyoun$ texted me i" ! 'anted to $o s'immin$ at the pool "or exercise, #ut ! declined and texted #ack 'ith a pretty descriptive messa$e a#out "eelin$ #loated, $ettin$ cramps and ;ust #ein$ in a lot o" pain &'o minutes later, ! $ot a text #ack "rom 9iyon$ 'ith a messa$e sayin$: S______________S ! kno' !%m yo #" and all, #ut damn, did ! really have to kno' that1 !" he 'as $oin$ to stick his cell phone in my "ace, ! could do the same ! took out my cell and scrolled to 9iyon$%s text o" the day, and shoved it in his "ace Lepperoni1 Bolo$na1 .ho compares their $irl"riend to meat products1 Okay, this 'asn%t the #est come#ack, #ut it 'as all ! had .hat 'as ! supposed to do1 Say that the text messa$e 'as

intended "or Seun$ri1 5o, 9iyon$ is ;ust as #i$ as a "an o" Seun$ri, as Seun$ri is o" him ,ou compared ,uri to pepperoni and #olo$na1 .hat the hell, <=1 &aeyan$ suddenly said ! almost "or$ot that he 'as still in my livin$ room, eatin$ my dinner and #ein$ an audience o" me and 9iyon$%s "amous "i$hts Dh, &aeyan$, could 'e talk later1 9iyon$ and ! have some thin$s to settle, ! said, and 9iyon$ nodded .o', 9iyon$ and ! a$ree on somethin$ HurrayA &aeyan$ shru$$ed, set the #o'l do'n and made his 'ay to'ards the door ! envy #oys, sometimes &hey can ;ust admit their "eelin$s "or you one second and then the next second, they%ll act like it never happened and #e all cool and collected Lepperoni1 .hat are you talkin$ a#out1 .hy 'ould ! do that1 9iyon$ said, as &aeyan$ made his 'ay out o" the livin$ room HE(EA ! pointed to'ards @roni "oo% on my cell phone screen 9iyon$ $rinned ,es, he actually <(!55E= &hat%s not pepperoni, ,uriFah, that means FF But, 'hatever he meant ! couldn%t "ind out #ecause there 'as a rather loud commotion comin$ "rom the entrance o" my apartment HeyA .hat are you doin$ here1 RCucpakes1 .ell, yeah, you seeR Rdra$ me here "or no $oodR ,eah, ! #est #eR ! 'alked over to the entrance and lo and #ehold, to make my li"e even 'orse, 'ere Seun$ri and Seun$hyun (eally, you can%t make this type o" stu"" up 2h, noonaA ! #rou$ht over some cupcakesReh, 'hat%s 69 doin$ here1 Seun$ri said, as he 'alked in and spotted 9iyon$ standin$ in the middle o" the livin$ room .hat am ! doin$ here1 .hat are you doin$ here1 9iyon$ asked, $ettin$ a #it de"ensive He%s al'ays thou$ht that Seun$ri liked me, #ut he%s 4 years youn$er than meA &hat, and he%s like a little #rother Sorry i" !%m killin$ the (i(i, ,uri(i, or insert any other cute pairin$ name, here .hy 'ould you even come here a"ter callin$ noona meat products, Seun$ri said, $ettin$ very protective all o" a sudden and $ra##in$ my phone out o" my hands

! didn%t call her a pepperoniA B Dh, ! meant the #olo$na part, #ut you called her a pepperoni1 .hat are you1 Some kind o" $uy that thinks 'omen are pieces o" meat1 Seun$ri asked, 'hile scrollin$ throu$h my phone lookin$ "or a particular text messa$e .o', apparently, Seun$ri had turned into a "eminist over ni$ht 5oA !t%s supposed to #e (O5(! -OO, as in a lonely "ool in En$lishA 9iyon$ an$rily replied ! turned a'ay "rom the t'o, #ecause it 'as $oin$ to last a 'hile ! s'ear they act more like a couple than me and 9iyon$ do ! sa' Seun$hyun and &aeyan$ on the so"a &aeyan$ had $one #ack to eatin$ the udon noodles that he had le"t #ehind, and someho' Seun$hyun had "ound another #o'l ,ahA .hat are you doin$1 -irst you make me pay "or your co""ee, and #y the 'ay, that 'as a very prissy drink, and no' you%re in my house eatin$ my dinner1 ! cried out at Seun$hyun .hat1 ,ou 'ent out to co""ee 'ith him1 9iyon$ suddenly asked, takin$ a #reak "rom the ar$ument o" ho' to spell @lonely% in En$lish 'ith Seun$ri -reakin$ hell Oh, yeah, Seun$hyun came over to pay you #ack, ri$ht1 Seun$ri said, nud$in$ Seun$hyun Seun$hyun $ave Seun$ri a dirty look in response, and #e$an searchin$ his pockets "or money Speakin$ o" 'hich, 'hy in the 'orld did you send him over to me1 ! asked Seun$ri, not too calmly .hy1 ,ou didn%t like him1 he then turned to Seun$hyun and said, ! told you not to tell her you%re a rapperA ! said ! 'as a poet 'hich is the same thin$, you kno' 2 date1 ,D(!A .hat is this1 9iyon$ asked in $enuine surprise, #ut then he turned his attention to'ards Seun$ri, .hy are you settin$ up my $irl"riend 'ith other #oys 'hen 'e haven%t even #roken up yet1 Seun$ri rolled his eyes, ,ou mi$ht as 'ell #eA Llus, Seun$hyun or &OL, 'hich is a EDCH #etter sta$e name than <F=ra$on, is a #etter match "or ,uri ! mean, he has impecca#le style, can actually do rhymes, and is a lot taller than her, unlike other people, and B have you looked at him1 Eay#e you should $o out 'ith him, #ecause you%re paradin$ him around like a piece o" meat, and you seem to sho' the most interest in him, 9iyon$ smiled s'eetly at Seun$ri ! have to a$ree 'ith him, Seun$ri 2dmiration is $ood and all, #ut !%m kind o" uncom"orta#le a#out #ein$ treated like a piece o" meat, Seun$hyun said, pullin$ his )ipper a #it hi$her

Oh, "or $od sakes, Seun$ri si$hed, and turned #ack to 9iyon$ to continue their ar$ument ! 'onder 'hat%s in this sauce, &aeyan$ said to Seun$hyun, &here%s a hint o" sesame oil and may#e some cayenne pepper1 Hmm, Seun$hyun sat #ack do'n and tasted another spoon"ul, yeah, ! can taste that, too, #ut there%s de"initely some paprika .o' .hat else can you say 'hen this type o" situation happens1 ! had "our #oys in my apartment and they all 'ere connected to me someho' and they 'ere ar$uin$ or talkin$ a#out ridiculous thin$s 9ust hand me my cane, tilt my hat to the side, $ive me a perm and dress me up in an outlandish #ri$ht purple suit, no' Snoopy =o$, 4P Cent, Biddy: ,uri, L ! E L , is $on $ive you a run "o yo money B Okay, ! s'ear that%s the last time !%ll talk like that ! kno' 'hat you%re thinkin$ ! should ;ust #reak up 'ith 9iyon$ #ased on the sole reason that !%m talkin$ like this ! think it%s time that ! #reak up this little, ! don%t kno', reunion #e"ore my nei$h#ours called #ecause o" discrepancy or loudness, or B 'ho am ! kiddin$1 ! ;ust 'anted them out #ecause -reeloader / and -reeloader 4 'ere eatin$ my dinner, and 9iyon$ looked like he 'as $oin$ to $ra# my #ox o" cupcakes and thro' them in Seun$ri%s "ace ,ou all kno' ho' ! "eel a#out "ood? this ;ust 'ouldn%t doR! had to save the "ood ,ou $uysA ! said in my normal voice 5othin$ <uysA a little #it louder ! think Seun$hyun turned to look at me, #ut then he turned #ack to &aeyan$ to discuss 'hat type o" noodles my mother used ETE(,BO=,AA ! screamed out Oh, 'ell that $ot their attention Everyone turned around "rom 'hat they 'ere doin$ to stare at me Okay, this is $oin$ to sound a #it rude, #ut you $uys need to leave, ! said, politely &hey all started to protest, &aeyan$ and Seun$hyun #ecause that 'ould end their access to "ree "ood, and Seun$ri and 9iyon$ #ecause they didn%t like each other SeriouslyA ! started to push them to'ards the door, #ut then ! turned to 9iyon$ Except "or you, ! think 'e actually do need to talk

9iyon$ smiled, 'hile Seun$ri sco'led .H2&1 ,ou%re choosin$ him over me, noona1 Seun$ri said in dis#elie" Oh, "or $od sakes, !%ll call you tomorro', ! said, "eelin$ as i" ! 'as his mother Oh and $ive me #ack my phoneA Seun$ri%s "ace suddenly turned into a smile, Okay, !%ll talk to you later, noona He handed over the phone and motioned "or &aeyan$ and Seun$hyun to "ollo' suit, #ut not #e"ore $ivin$ 9iyon$ a dirty look, 'hich 9iyon$ responded to #y stickin$ out his ton$ue <F(i !t has a nice rin$ to it ,ahA ! .25& E, EO5E, B2CC, CHO! SED5<H,D5A ! yelled out to him, #ut the second ! had opened my mouth, he had suddenly $ained the a#ility to run out o" a room at li$htnin$ speed ! didn%t exactly kno' 'hat to say to &aeyan$, so ! settled 'ith an a'k'ard 'ave Once everyone 'as $one and it 'as ;ust me and 9iyon$ in this a6uamarine livin$ room, a silence settled over So B ,eah, so B 2'k'ard moments de"ine my li"e 9iyon$, ! think that 'e actually need toR ,uri, ! kno' that 'e%ve #een G .e #oth paused, and then ! ;ust #lurted out 'hat ! 'anted to say, #e"ore ! could even think a#out it #ein$ the ri$ht or 'ron$ thin$ ! really think 'e should B take a #reak, the 'ords comin$ out hesitantly .as this really 'hat ! 'anted1 Because it didn%t sound like it 9iyon$ actually sat there, stunned !" he 'as stunned, then ! must have #een completely out o" my mind 3ike him, ! never thou$ht ! 'ould expect to say those 'ords &ake a #reak ,ou kno' 'hen you have those #attles #et'een your heart and your head1 &he head says somethin$ completely rational, #elieva#le and it%s o#vious that it%s the ri$ht choice On the other hand, the heart tells you somethin$, and it%s irrational, cra)y, and wrong .ell, 'hich one do you #elieve1

Ei$ht out o" ten times, 'e $o 'ith the head, and sad to say, !%m $oin$ 'ith my head ,ou%re serious, 9iyon$ said, 'hen he reali)ed the seriousness o" the situation ! nodded ! mean, not o""icially #reak thin$s up, #ut let%s ;ust take a small #reak "rom each other "or a 'hile .as ! tryin$ to make 9iyon$ "eel #etter, or 'as ! ;ust #ein$ sel"ish1 Okay, 9iyon$ slo'ly said and started to 'alk to'ards the door !%ll see you later, ,uriFah He le"t ! don%t kno' ! 'as expectin$ a #i$$er "i$ht "rom 9iyon$ &his 'as the #oy 'ho 'ent throu$h leaps and #ounds "or me to #ecome his $irl"riend, sendin$ me ridiculous rhymes every day, and stalkin$ me at Uam in the mornin$s ! didn%t expect him to ;ust leave Shouldn%t ! #e happy that he took it, so 'ell1 ! 'as doin$ the ri$ht thin$, ri$ht1 !" ! 'as doin$ the ri$ht thin$, then 'hy 'as my head poundin$ and my heart seemed like it 'as $oin$ to #urst out any second1 2s ! 'as processin$ 'hat had ;ust occurred, ! heard my phone & dunno what you heard bout me =ut ya cant get a dolla outta me .hat1 &his didn%t sound like my rin$tone -o Cadillac, no perms, you can?t see Suddenly, ! remem#ered Seun$ri $ra##in$ my cell phone ;ust minutes a$o 'hat &?m a mothereffing 5@&@/@5 ! couldn%t help #ut smile, ;ust a little #it ! "lipped open my phone to read the messa$e: Seungri writes: Ao shi))le, 5.&./.5. %uri@ah Oh, Seun$ri ,ou%re a "unny character

Chapter Six
&he thin$s that you 'ant most in li"e are never $ood thin$s &hat last scoop o" $reen tea ice cream 'e think 'e can "inish1 !t $oes strai$ht to the hips and thi$hs &hat #oy that 'e pine, o#sess and $o cra)y over1 HeVll #reak your heart in 4 seconds "lat .e kno' that theyVre #ad,

#ut 'hy is it that 'e al'ays continue to want these thin$s1 .e never learn "rom our past mistakes? 'e keep $oin$ #ack to them and make the same ones over and over a$ain !tVs as i" 'e like makin$ these mistakes .as that 'hat 9iyon$ 'as1 2 mistake that ! kept makin$ over and over a$ain1 Has he #ecome my "avourite mistake1 So many 6uestions 5o' 'ould #e a $ood time to cue the mourn"ul and melancholy music ! had to admit, ! "elt like a mess ! kno' 'hat youVre thinkin$ !Vm the one 'ho 'anted a #reak !Vm the one 'ho said it to 9iyon$ !tVs all me But then a$ain, ! had to 'onder, 'hat 'as ! to 9iyon$1 =id he think o" me as a mistake that he kept makin$ over and over a$ain1 ,ou start to see thin$s in a 'hole ne' perspective 'hen you%re lyin$ upside do'n on the side o" your #ed and starin$ up at a neon $reen ceilin$ ! heard my phone vi#ratin$, #ut it seemed like too much o" a hassle to $et ri$ht side up, $et o"" the #ed and 'alk to'ards the phone So, ! let it continue vi#ratin$ 'hile ! continued livin$ in my upside do'n 'orld !t%s not like it 'as $oin$ to #e anyone important ! hadn%t seen 9iyon$ in 'eeks and he hasn%t sent me anythin$ so much as a text messa$e or call &his "act has sent me into a #it o" a som#er state !, suddenly, heard shu""lin$ outside o" my door &hat, immediately, cau$ht my attention and ! ;umped up "rom my position !t 'as a#out K pm, and my parents usually don%t come #ack until I, at the earliest So, ! think ! have a reason to #e paranoid i" ! hear stran$e thin$s outside o" my room ! heard more shu""lin$ and 6uiet 'hisperin$ Oh, crap &his 'asn%t $ood .hy didn%t ! take those stupid sel" de"ense classes that Seun$ri told me a#out1 !%m pretty sure Seun$ri is the only #oy in his $rade that can e""ectively t'ist a captor%s arm 25= tell him ho' much his out"it didn%t match, at the same time Bein$ the la)y and uncarin$ person ! 'as, ! had declined the o""er Ho' much do ! re$ret it no'1 2 lot ! 'as in a neon $reen room 'ith nothin$ to de"end me 'ith and there 'ere $an$sters outside 'ho 'ere ready to ro# my rain#o' apartment and then sell my or$ans to the #lack market &his is 'hat happens 'hen you live 'ith paranoid parents "or your entire li"e? you start thinkin$ like them

! sa' somethin$ out o" the corner o" my eye that could #e use"ul ! tiptoed to the corner, and picked up my heavy chan$e ;ar =on%t look at me as i" !%m cra)y &his could take someone%s eye out 2nd, lucky "or me, that%s exactly 'hat ! 'as hopin$ "or ! 'as considerin$ ho' ! could $o a#out this attack 'hen ! reali)ed that ! had a 'ay out o" this &he sunli$ht seemed to directly shine on my cell phone, as i" it kne' my current situation !t 'orries me a #it that it took me this lon$ to reali)e ! had a cell phone *or at the moment, li"e saver+ in my room ! 6uickly dialed the num#er o" someone ! kne' 'ould #e here in a matter o" minutes ! s'ear that the /7 seconds it took "or Seun$ri to pick up his phone 'ere the lon$est /7 seconds o" my li"e, and the "act that his rin$tone 'as =9 =oc%s 8un to %ou really didn%t help matters, either &he #e$innin$ o" that son$ "its my situation nicely, ! must say, and it only added to my anxiety Be"ore he could even say a 'ord, ! started 'hisperin$ "rantically to him Hello1 Seun$ri1 ! 'hispered !%m in trou#leA 5oonaA .hat%s 'ron$1 .here are you1 .e%re FF ! can%t talk lon$A 9ust come to my apartment, ri$ht no'A ! think there are some people in my house 'ho 'ant my or$ans, ! 'hispered #ack #e"ore Seun$ri could reply Come 6uickA Brin$ #ack upA Call the policeA 5oonaA ! don%t think FF #ut ! had hun$ up on him Okay, Cim ,uri ,ou can do this ,ou either $o out no' and hope"ully in;ure them 'ith your coins, or you 'ait "or them to come in 2ll ! had to do 'as open the door, thro' my coin ;ar at them *hope"ully there 'ere only 4 or$anF stealers #ecause ! kno' the coin ;ar 'ill knock one person out, and the other person 'ill either try to help his partner or chase a"ter me, let%s hope it%s the "irst option+, scream #loody murder and run like hell ! held the chan$e ;ar "irmly in one hand, and ! t'isted the door kno# in the other !t 'as do or die ! 6uickly opened the door and spotted the #acks o" t'o people dressed in dark clothin$ ! "lun$ the coin ;ar at one o" the $an$ster%s #ack, and made a run "or the door, screamin$ out, HEEEEEEEEEEEE3LAA 2HHH, O.A came a very "amiliar voice

Should ! look #ack1 But !%m so close to the door and ! 'as still screamin$ 5OO52A .H2& &HE HE33 2(E ,OD =O!5<1 SOEEO5E HE3L EEEEEFF ! stopped midFscream and midFstep .ait, did he ;ust call me noona1 ! turned around mini cooper &here on the $round, clutchin$ his #ack like an old man 'as Seun$ri and Eunyoun$ starin$ at me like ! had ;ust escaped "rom a mental 'ard One day, 'e%re $oin$ to look #ack at this situation and lau$h, #ut ! don%t think it%s $oin$ to #e today 2ishA Seun$ri #ent over #ack'ards, still tryin$ to recover ! don%t #lame him &hat 'as a lot o" coins Has this #reak up made you even more cra)y than you already are1 he mana$ed to sputter out, althou$h he had to stop in #et'een some 'ords "or some 'hee)in$ Sorry, ! murmured, as ! helped him to a seat ! didn%t kno' it 'as you Suddenly, a thou$ht occurred to me Ho' did you $et into my apartment1 =id you pick the lock1 5ormal people knockA Seun$ri ru##ed the #ruise on his #ack ! didA But you 'ere pro#a#ly starin$ at your neon $reen ceilin$ too hard, he ans'ered Llus, you didn%t even lock your doorA ,ou%re ;ust askin$ to $et your or$ans sold to the #lack marketA Oh Ey #ad SorryA !%ll $et you some ice, ! said sincerely, and then made my 'ay to the kitchen (eal smooth, ,uri ,ou end up thro'in$ a /P pound plastic chan$e ;ar at your #est "riend in the #ack, thinkin$ that he 'as a mem#er o" the ,aku)a 'ho 'anted to sell you o"" to some rich, "orei$n pervert (eally smooth ! had to admit, he had a point ! think that this #reak is a""ectin$ my mind, ;ust a little #it Eunyoun$ suddenly came #y my side to help 'ith the ice *hat is 'ron$ 'ith you these days1 she asked in a concerned voice Lark Eunyoun$ is a "riend that !%ve had even lon$er than Seun$ri, and ! $uess you could count

her as a very $ood "riend, too =on%t $et me 'ron$, Seun$ri is a $reat "riend, #ut he%s still a #oy 5o matter ho' many di""erent pairs o" shoes he has, he%s still a #oy !t%s nice to #e a#le to ;ust talk a#out super $irly thin$s 'ith another $irl, and Eunyoun$ 'as that $irl ! si$hed, and placed the ice into the #a$ !%m "ine, Eunyoun$, ! reassured her She $ave me a look that 'as very similar to my mother%s !t 'as a #it scary .hy don%t you ans'er your phone, then1 she said in a hushed voice, clearly not 'antin$ Seun$ri to hear She #e$an di$$in$ throu$h her #a$ "or her phone ,es, ! doA ! texted you #ack, yesterday, ! think, ! replied, as ! put the ice tray a'ay ! did, ri$ht1 (i$ht and this is the text "rom a person 'ho%s "ine1 Eunyoun$ held out her phone in "ront o" my "ace .hat 'as it 'ith people and shovin$ their cell phones in my "ace, lately1 ! looked at the screen, any'ays Yuri writes: &m seriously feeling bad *hy so blah &s it cu) & have no (@dad, Holy crap .hat the hell1 (@dad, .o', ! 'as startin$ to 'rite text messa$es a la 9iyon$ style =id ! actually 'rite that1 2re you sure 9iyon$ didn%t send you that1 ! asked Eunyoun$, suspiciously Eunyoun$ snapped her phone shut and nodded &rust me, you de"initely 'rote it, she slipped the phone #ack into her #a$ &hat%s 'hen ! decided you needed a #it o" an intervention ! didn%t tell Seun$ri, #ecause he%ll pro#a#ly try to set you up 'ith a random street #um ! nodded, and silently $ave a prayer thankin$ that ! had a sane "riend like Eunyoun$ 2s ! 'rapped up Seun$ri%s ice #a$, ! could still "eel Eunyoun$ starin$ at me in that intimidatin$ motherly kind o" 'ay !%m "ineA ! snapped at her She opened her mouth to retort #ack, #ut "rom the livin$ room, Seun$ri yelled out, ,2HA !CE, L3E2SE1 ! 6uickly 'alked out o" the kitchen #e"ore she could continue 6uestionin$ my sanity

So, 'hy are you here a$ain1 ! asked Seun$ri 'hen ! handed him the ice #a$ ! thou$ht you said that 9iyon$ 'as one o" those pro#lems that #est "riends and cupcakes couldn%t resolve 2ish, he $roaned, 'hile placin$ the ice pack on his #ack, "or three 'eeks you haven%t had any contact 'ith anyoneA *,uri $lanced a'ay "rom Seun$ri at this moment+ .ell, unless you count the @9iyon$ and ! are on a #reak% text messa$e, #ut a"ter that, no contact 'ith anyoneA O#viously, 'e needed to come do'n and see i" you 'ere still alive and #reathin$ He 'as ri$ht 2"ter 9iyon$ and !, o""icially, 'ent on our #reak, somethin$ ;ust #roke inside o" me ! kno' it sounds ridiculous and completely clichH, #ut 'ithout the daily text messa$e "rom him or seein$ his smilin$ "ace, thin$s ;ust didn%t seem ri$ht -or the past three 'eeks, ! hadn%t #een pickin$ up the phone or ans'erin$ texts .ell, 'ith the exception o" Eunyoun$ and Seun$ri%s texts, #ut ! #arely remem#er pressin$ the #uttons ! can%t #elieve it, either 3ike ! said to &aeyan$, he%s ;ust that #oy you keep $oin$ #ack to, re$ardless o" 'hat he%s done in the past .e thou$ht you ;ust 'anted your space, so 'e le"t you alone, "or a #it, Seun$ri explained, as he #e$an thumpin$ his #ack ! think Seun$ri ;ust $ained /P years #ecause o" that plastic chan$e ;ar ! may have to #uy him a cane, tomorro' But, 'e%re $ettin$ a #it 'orried, Eunyoun$ piped in Okay, a lot 'orried ! don%t #lame them !" ! had a "riend like me, !%d #e keepin$ them on 4Q hour surveillance ! ;ust didn%t $et it ! thou$ht that $oin$ on this #reak 'ould ;ust cleanse a'ay my ne$ative ener$y *as Seun$ri said #e"ore+ and ! could #e re#orn into this 'hole ne' person &oo much meditation sho's1 ! think so, too But, it%s true &hat%s 'hat ! thou$ht, and clearly, ! 'as 'ron$ So, 'e%re takin$ you out, Eunyoun$ stated ! nodded alon$ G'ait, out1 &he surprise must have #een evident on my "ace #ecause she smiled and said, ,es, outside 'here you can see a colour that is not on the i"F=isneylandFexplodedFandFallFthatF'asFle"tF'ereF colours palette Eh1 .here do you $et your metaphors "rom, Eunyoun$1 &hese t'o 'eeks have consisted o" me $oin$ to my classes *yeah, ! kno', !%m surprised ! actually $ot mysel" out o" #ed and "ound my 'ay to school 'ithout $ettin$ hit #y a truck "illed

'ith chickens+, actin$ like a )om#ie, comin$ home, )onin$ out and eatin$ ! can%t "or$et a#out eatin$, it seems like that%s all !%ve #een doin$: starin$ at #ri$htly coloured 'alls and eatin$ .hat a "a#ulous li"e you lead, Cim ,uri Outside 'orld, take me #ack, please1 ,es, and 'e%d like to kno' ;ust 'hat%s #ein$ $oin$ on 'ith you, Seun$ri said in a very stern voice !t sounded a #it ridiculous #ecause he has this hi$h voice that is all cuteFlike ! think he%s $oin$ to #e one o" those kids that 'ill "orever sound like they%re /4 ! looked up at the t'o "rom 'here ! 'as sittin$ Seun$ri 'as standin$ as i" he had a hunch#ack and Eunyoun$ ;ust $ave me this look that said, @come out no', or else % Eunyoun$ is scary, so ! didn%t really 'ant to kno' 'hat the @or else% meant Oh, 'hat the hell ! mi$ht as 'ell see ho' the 'orld has chan$ed in the past 7 'eeks Be"ore ! could ans'er, Seun$ri said, <ive me your #ook ! #linked &he #ook 'ith your li"e in it, he said impatiently ! looked around the messy livin$ room, and sa' my striped note#ook standin$ out prominently a$ainst the piles o" ne'spapers ! handed the #ook to Seun$ri and he immediately scra'led somethin$ on the "irst empty pa$e, and handed it #ack to me ! looked do'n to see 'hat he had 'ritten: Aebruary !, 2 ! "top eating green tea ice cream and Boin the world of the living ! looked up "rom 'hat he had ;ust 'ritten do'n in his messy 'ritin$ =o you actually think that that%s all !%ve #een doin$1 Eopin$ and eatin$ ice cream1 ! asked, a #it o""ended Okay, it%s true, #ut 'as it really that o#vious1 &he t'o nodded at me .o' !%m a little pathetic, aren%t !1 3et me $et my coat, ! said &he pair smiled FFFFFF ,ou 'rite do'n stop eatin$ $reen tea ice cream and you #rin$ me to an all you can eat sushi restaurant1 ! asked them in dis#elie", as 'e ordered our "irst round o" "ood

2t least you%re eatin$ 'ith civili)ation1 Eunyoun$ o""ered, as she #e$an 'ipin$ her area clean She is an insane $ermapho#ic !%m surprised she even comes out to eat She%s al'ays the one 'ith hand saniti)er in her #a$? the one that is al'ays insistin$ that 'e all $o and 'ash our hands #e"ore, durin$ and a"ter a meal? and al'ays $ivin$ us random "acts a#out cleanliness ! shru$$ed Oh, 'ell -ood is "ood ! turned my attention to'ards Seun$ri and decided to ask him the 6uestion he has #een a#le to avoid "or the past three 'eeks 2ctually, 'hy don%t you tell me 'hy you had the #rilliant idea o" settin$ me up 'ith a "reeloadin$ poet, ! asked Seun$ri s'eetly, as ! started eatin$ an edamame Seun$ri $ave me a nervous lau$h Heh, it%s #etter than a "reeloadin$ rapper1 he su$$ested ! "ro'ned at him Okay, a"ter ! le"t you that day, ! #umped into Seun$hyunRyes, ! actually do kno' himA he cried out 'hen he sa' Eunyoun$%s disapprovin$ $lance 2ny'ays, ! asked i" he 'ould #e a#le to keep you company "or a "e' hours, you kno', ;ust to $et your mind o"" o" 9iyon$ So, he ;ust automatically a$reed to $o "ind ,uri at the co""ee shop ;ust #ecause you said so1 Eunyoun$ asked, suspiciously &he $irl had to $et every sin$le detail in a story or she 'ouldn%t #e satis"ied .ell, no, not exactly B, Seun$ri #e$an to say, as i" he 'as tryin$ to conceal some a'"ul truth !%m a little o""ended that you had to o""er him a "ree co""ee so that he 'ould $o out 'ith me, ! said, as ! che'ed on the "ood Seun$ri $ave me another nervous lau$h, #ut 'as saved "rom ans'erin$ 'hen a 'aitress came to collect our plates !t didn%t make sense "or her to collect them no' #ecause ! only had one "inished edamame on the plate, and Seun$ri had ;ust dropped a crum# on his Eunyoun$ hadn%t even eaten anythin$ yet, save "or accidently spillin$ 'ater on her plate 5onetheless, the 'aitress cleared a'ay the plates .ell, &OL is a really, ho' should ! say this, special kind o" $uy, he said, tryin$ to pick out his 'ords care"ully 2nd, he doesn%t $o out 'ith any type o" $irl Special1 Eunyoun$ repeated So you mean, he%s the type that you have to pay to $o out 'ith1 3ike a call#oy1 ,ahA ,ou #e 6uietA &OL is per"ect "or noona, he yelled at her Eunyoun$ rolled her eyes and 'ent #ack to pourin$ a cup o" tea Once Seun$ri turned a'ay "rom her, she mouthed, =on%t #elieve himA and did a series o" hand motions that ! could not decipher "or the li"e o" me Seriously, he%s your a$e, he%s nice to look at, taller than you, and he%s B an artist, he said the last part a #it "orce"ully 2n artist1 Eunyoun$, suddenly, interrupted =idn%t you say that he 'as a rapper1

Seun$ri hu""ed at her He%s a poetA !t takes some skills to #e a#le to "ind 'ords that sym#oli)e the #eauty around us Beauty around us ! had to cover up my lau$hin$ 'ith a cou$h #ecause o" that comment ,eah, it takes a lot o" talent to "ind 'ords that rhyme 'ith one another, she replied 9ust eat your misu soup, he said, as he placed the soup in "ront o" her .ell any'ays, Seun$ri turned #ack to me, no' that Eunyoun$ 'as content 'ith havin$ "ood He really isR Be"ore, he could continue, a 'aitress came #y a$ain to collect our plates ! s'ear they have the 'orst timin$ &hat or they%re ;ust really stin$y and don%t 'ant us to hide our "ood ! think he%s a $ood $uy, Seun$ri "inished Einus the 'hole stealin$ your "ood thin$, #ut he%s a starvin$ artist tryin$ to $et his #i$ #reak ! think 9iyon$ 'as ri$ht Seun$ri, you need to $o ask Seun$hyun out, asap -or yoursel", that is ! stayed silent and #e$an eatin$ the sushi that had #een placed in "ront o" us ! mean, it%s not like you have anyone else interested, ri$ht1 !, de"initely, did not mean to o""end you or anythin$ 'ith that statement, he said de"ensively ! hadn%t told anyone a#out the &aeyan$ incident, and ! de"initely 'asn%t $oin$ to #e tellin$ anyone, any time soon !s there anyone1 Eunyoun$ suddenly said, lookin$ up "rom her tempura shrimp =amn that $irl and her a#ility to look #eyond the sur"ace and pry into other people%s #usiness 5o, ! said "irmly Eunyoun$ looked like she didn%t #elieve it, #ut didn%t press the su#;ect ,ah, let%s ;ust eat all this "ood and talk a#out somethin$ else, ! said Sure, like ho' this, he tilted his head to'ards Eunyoun$, noona is startin$ to have a very ille$al crush on someone .hoa Eunyoun$, you noona pervert Eunyoun$ 6uickly dropped the plate o" teriyaki chicken that she 'as carryin$ to the $round Einha'n is not ille$alA she 'hispered loudly He%s only a couple o" years youn$erA !t%s nothin$ &he sushi 'aitress sho'ed up at the side o" our ta#le, $larin$ at the hal" eaten teriyaki on the "loor She looked at Eunyoun$ and said, ,ou drop it ,ou pay "or it &he 'aitress 'ent o"" to the #ack, most likely, to add onto our lar$e #ill

! couldn%t help #ut lau$h Eunyoun$ turned to $lare at Seun$ri !t 'as useless #ecause Seun$ri 'as in a hu$e "it o" $i$$les, as 'ell Once he calmed do'n, he said to Eunyoun$, 2ctually, ! 'as ;ust kiddin$ and 'as a#out to say that you had a crush on me, #ut the "act that it%s Einh'an is so much #etter #ecause he has to #e at least /Q ! could tell Eunyoun$ 'as tryin$ to repress the ur$e o" thro'in$ all her tempura sauce on Seun$ri%s ne' cashmere s'eater ,ou really are a noona pervert, ! said to her, s'eetly FFFFF &'o hours and 7 rounds o" orders later, 'e "inally thou$ht enou$h 'as enou$h 9ust hide it in the teapotA &hat%s unethical and completely dishonestA Says the person 'ho paid a random rapper to $o out 'ith his #est "riend1 !t seems like 'e had ordered too much and 'e didn%t exactly 'ant to pay "or all the le"tovers .e 'ere, currently, in a heated ar$ument as to 'hat to do ! voted on the teapot, #ut Seun$ri 'as intent on either "inishin$ the "ood or B "inishin$ the "ood 2i$oo, $ive me that plate, Eunyoun$ said, "inally "ed up 'ith Seun$ri%s stu##ornness She took the plate, and 'hen the 'aitress 'asn%t lookin$, she dumped all o" its contents into the tea pot Seun$ri made a sound that had a resem#lance to a little $irl 'ho ;ust "ound out that her pri)ed parrot could no lon$er say, ! love you, to her little #oy"riend &rust me, ! remem#er the sound 'ell !%ve never seen &aeyan$ run so "ast a'ay "rom a Q year old in my li"e Oh, stop it, Eunyoun$ said, as she started to pile plates on top o" the le"tovers so that they 'ouldn%t #e seen ,ou kno' all the tricks, don%t you1 ! asked, impressed 2ll o" our le"tover "ood had #een hidden a'ay in the teapot, underneath dirty dishes and someho', she had convinced me to put some in my pocket O" course, Seun$ri had to o#;ect to this #ecause "ood touchin$ clothes does not e6uate to anythin$ pleasant Once 'e 'alked out o" the sushi restaurant, Seun$ri exploded !%E <O!5< &O BE (EBO(5 2 L!< !5 E, 5EW& 3!-E BEC2DSE O- ,OD, L2(C

ED5,OD5<A ,ou are insane, Eunyoun$ said, #luntly ,ou%ve #een han$in$ out 'ith ,uri too lon$ &hanks, Eunyoun$ ! love you, too ! 'as doin$ so 'ell 'ith the 'hole livin$ li"e properly and then you ruined it, i" ! #ecome a pi$, you are #ecomin$ a horse, Seun$ri told Eunyoun$ as 'e 'alked do'n the street ,ou do kno' a horse is much #etter o"" than a pi$, ri$ht1 she replied, clearly not a""ected #y his out#urst Seun$ri $rum#led, &hat%s not the pointA .e continued 'alkin$ up to the park 'here my t'o companions #e$an ar$uin$ a#out 'hether it 'as #etter to live in leisure *a pi$+ or 'ork *a horse+ "or the rest o" your li"e !t 'as here that 'e had to part 'ays Seun$ri asked me several more times i" ! 'as okay and i" ! 'anted them to 'alk me all the 'ay home, #ut ! declined Seun$ri, you may have horri#le taste in men, #ut you are a $ood "riend Eunyoun$ $ave me a reassurin$ smile and leaned in to 'hisper, ! kno' there%s someone elseA =on%t make me sic Seun$ri on youA ! returned the smile and 'aved her o"" &here 'as no 'ay ! 'ould #e tellin$ her or anyone a#out &aeyan$ ,ou kno', ;ust #ecause ! am a #oy and 4 years youn$er than you, it doesn%t mean that you have to $o around 'hisperin$ around me, Seun$ri said, "ei$nin$ to #e upset Eunyoun$ rolled her eyes .e%ll see you later, ,uriFah 2nd she started 'alkin$ a'ay Seun$ri 'aved and 'ent to catch up 'ith Eunyoun$ 5o seriously, you kno' that !%m very in touch 'ith my "eminine side, and !%m much older than Einh'an 'hich makes me less ille$al ! $rinned &hose t'o could #e incredi#ly insane, #ut they 'ere nice company ! 'as 'alkin$ home really slo'ly Eatin$ over 4P pieces o" sushi, /P sashimi, other random 9apanese appeti)ers and U scoops o" ice cream tends to do that to you !" ! 'asn%t so lo' on cash, ! pro#a#ly 'ould have hailed do'n a ca# ! really should start thinkin$ a#out $ettin$ my old ;o# #ack at that convenience store across the street &he hours may had #een crap, and you $et hit on #y #oys youn$er than /7 and older than QP, #ut money is money Sadly, there 'as no in #et'een a$es, #ut ! think ! should #e $lad #ecause B 'ell, have you "or$otten 'hat happened 7 'eeks a$o1 .hen had my apartment $otten so "ar1 ! s'ear it 'as closer the last time ! 'alked home !t%d #e nice i" my Lrince Charmin$ 'ould ;ust come ridin$ do'n the street ri$ht no' 'ith his super sleek car and drive me home 'ith the 'ind in my hair and a nice taro #u##le tea to 6uench my thirst

B !t could happen ! 'alked a "e' more steps 'hen ! heard my name #ein$ called ! turned around and ! actually 'ondered i" someone upstairs liked playin$ tricks on me &here, leanin$, on the side o" a not so sleek car 'as &aeyan$ .ell, speak o" the devil Sort o" ! don%t kno' i" &aeyan$ 6uali"ies as Lrince Charmin$ ! #e$an 'alkin$ to'ards him, hesitantly ! hadn%t spoken to him in 7 'eeks, either, and the last time 'e talked 'asn%t exactly the #est conversation &he 'hole admittin$ your true "eelin$s "or your #est "riend%s $irl"riend, or exF$irl"riend, isn%t exactly somethin$ that you say every day ! really hope he 'asn%t tryin$ to pull the 'hole, ! think ! like you, thin$ a$ain Because a+ .hat the hell does ! think ! like you mean and # + &here is no # Option a is enou$h o" a reason He did look di""erent, thou$h He 'asn%t 'earin$ a lar$e #ase#all hat tilted to the side, nor 'as he 'earin$ a #i$, #a$$y coat !t looked like the "orm and "ittin$ look 'as comin$ #ack "or the #oys ! can already hear the "an$irls% screams Because really, everyone has "an$irls these days !" you%re $ood lookin$, you 'ill have "an$irls !t%s a common "act o" li"e .ell, at least in this city He had also cut his hair into a "aux moha'k style 'hich oddly, enou$h, really suited him Hi, ! said 6uietly, as ! pretended to admire this car &here really 'asn%t anythin$ to admire a#out it He%s had it "or years and he treats it like it%s his #a#y ,ou should%ve seen him last year 'hen 9iyon$ accidentally hit his #a$ a$ainst 9ulia Oh ri$ht, he named his car 9ulia =on%t ask me 'hy But, seriously, like ho' you 'ouldn%t $et in #et'een Seun$ri and his clothes, you don%t 'ant to $et in #et'een &aeyan$ and his car !" you value li"e and hearin$, don%t mess 'ith 9ulia ! like your ne' haircut, ! added as an a"terthou$ht He $ave me a shy smile and said a 6uiet thanks He stu""ed his hands into his pockets and ! could tell that he 'as tryin$ to "ind the ri$ht 'ords to say !%ve heard so many stories "rom "riends a#out havin$ "riendships destroyed #ecause they decided to test the 'aters in a romantic relationship ! really didn%t 'ant that to happen 'ith &aeyan$ ! mean, yeah, he%s 9iyon$%s #est "riend, #ut he%s my "riend, too !t%s not like, ;ust #ecause 9iyon$ and ! aren%t to$ether, doesn%t mean that &aeyan$ and ! can%t carry on #ein$ "riends But, ! di$ress, ! didn%t 'ant to "all victim to a ruined "riendship So, are you ;ust 'aitin$ around to rescue some other poor and pathetic /I year old $irl "rom a /P year old stalker1 ! asked 'ith a smile Or are you stickin$ around to o""er a poor and pathetic /I year old a ride home #ecause she ate too much sushi and really can%t #ear to take another step

(eally thou$h, 'ould you 'ant to thro' a'ay a "riendship 'ith a #oy 'ho attempted to #ake you cupcakes #ut instead the outcome 'as a deran$ed parrot 'ho s6uacks only three 'ords a day1 Llus, he has a car and ! don%t think ! can 'alk much more 5ote to sel", don%t order more than /P pieces o" sashimi next time His "ace #roke into a smile He seemed $lad that thin$s 'eren%t too a'k'ard He 'alked over to the other side o" the car to open the passen$er seat "or me Hop in, he said .hy, thank you, ! said, as ! slipped into the car and he closed it #ehind me &aeyan$ $ot into the car, and 'e entered another silence 2nd, you all kno' ho' ! hate silences ! hate #ein$ the ice #reaker #et'een a'k'ard silences, #ecause nine times out o" ten, !%ll end up sayin$ somethin$ incredi#ly stupid &hank"ully, &aeyan$ started talkin$ 'hen he #e$an drivin$ ,uriFah, the thin$ ! said last time, 'ell, !%m sorry He 'as sorry1 ! don%t think ! should%ve said 'hat ! said #ecause 9iyon$ is my #est "riend and you%re $oin$ out 'ith him, he said .as $oin$ out 'ith him, ! corrected him .e%re on a #reak Oh, ri$ht, 9iyon$ said that a 'hile #ack a$o !%m ;ust so used to you t'o #ein$ to$ether, he corrected himsel" But, let%s ;ust try to pretend it didn%t happen1 !t%s "unny ho' #oys have this s'itch in them -or example: S'itch on ! like you Oh B 2'k'ard silence ensues S'itch o"" Oh, ! 'as ;ust kiddin$, don%t 'orry a#out it See 'hat ! mean1 &hey can turn "eelin$s on and o"" &hen there%s us $irls 'ho constantly have a s'itch that%s #roken and is stuck on @on% all the time Lretend it didn%t happen1 ! repeated, more so "or mysel" ! 'as serious 'hen ! said ! didn%t 'ant it to a""ect our "riendship, he told me Okay, ! ans'ered, slo'ly .hat do you say 'hen a #oy admits his "eelin$s to you and then

three 'eeks later he 'ants you to "or$et a#out it1 2nd, to #e honest, !%d rather have you as a "riend, then nothin$ at all, he said 6uietly Dm .hoa1 &hat de"initely cau$ht me o"" $uard Boys, do not usually say stu"" like that and B oh, ! can%t even "orm coherent thou$hts, ri$ht no' ! think all ! did 'as nod and &aeyan$ took that as a$reement #ecause he seemed a lot more relaxed and more like his old sel" So 'hat does that mean1 =o you not like me anymore and 'ould rather have me as a "riend1 Or, do you still like me and you ;ust don%t 'ant our "riendship to #e ruined1 Or is this ;ust an ela#orate plot "or me to #ecome your $irl"riend in the "uture1 Corean =rama Hand#ook: ,our <uide to 3i"e Llease $et pu#lished, soon Ey li"e 'ill #ecome one hundred times #etter #ecause o" it =o you 'ant to $ra# a co""ee #e"ore ! drop you o""1 &aeyan$ asked, suddenly interruptin$ my thou$hts Huh1 Oh, yeah sure, ! said, still tryin$ to $et my thou$hts in order &hinkin$ o" &aeyan$ automatically made me think o" 9iyon$ and ! couldn%t help #ut ask his #est "riend this 6uestion &aeyan$, ho' is 9iyon$ these days1 He looked directly strai$ht ahead, instead o" $ivin$ me a 6uick $lance ,es, ! am a'are that he is drivin$, #ut he al'ays $ives people a 6uick $lance #e"ore he says anythin$ !t%s a 'eird ha#it, ! kno' ! haven%t seen 9iyon$ since last 'eek, to #e honest, he said, as he drove to'ards the direction o" the co""ee shop 2nd, he seemed to #e okay, #ut !%m not exactly the #est at readin$ people (eally1 2nd ! 'as1 9iyon$ 'as okay1 Or 'as he ;ust maskin$ everythin$1 ! kno' 9iyon$ likes to 'rite a lot 'hen he%s upset or "eelin$ any other emotion that usually doesn%t coincide 'ith his 'eird and happy sel" Eay#e, ! could #ecome that one $irl that sin$ers and rappers al'ays 'rite a#out #ecause they can never "or$et her 9iyon$ 'as a #it o" a nonsensical rapper, #ut one thin$ he had 'as sta$e presence .hen he entered a room, all eyes 'ere on him 2nd really, that%s all you need these days

9iyon$ 'ould have hit sin$les, and it 'ould #e all thanks to me ! could #ecome "amous and actually #uy my o'n apartment that 'as painted normal colours 2ctually, ! don%t think #ein$ "amous "or #reakin$ a cele#rity%s heart is a really $ood idea ! hope ! 'on%t #e "orced to close do'n my cy'orld !%ve $ro'n a #it attached to it !%m $ettin$ a #it ahead o" mysel", aren%t !1 ! asked him another 6uestion that had also #een on my mind, Oh, ! 'as 'onderin$, do you personally kno' Seun$hyun1 .ho1 he asked, $enuinely con"used &OL, the $uy you compared udon in$redients 'ith at my apartment1 ! said Oooh, himA he turned a corner 5o, #ut he has mad udon noodle makin$ skills .e exchan$ed recipes a"ter 'e le"t your house ! tried not to lau$h out loud, #ut he cau$ht me Hey, it%s very normal "or men in this day and a$e to have an open appreciation "or cookin$, he said, pretendin$ to #e o""ended ! rolled my eyes, #ut nodded alon$ any'ays ! $uess this is the closest !%ll $et to #ein$ s'ept o"" my "eet #y Lrince Charmin$ and his 'hite horse !%ll ;ust settle "or &aeyan$ and ridin$ 9ulia B &hat sounded a #it a'k'ard 5ote to sel": &ell &aeyan$ to "ind a ne' name "or his car FFFF 2 small, no 'hip, nonF"at, 'hite chocolate mocha latte, please &he moment 'e stepped into the co""ee shop, !, immediately, started to think that ! needed to "ind a ne' one ! think this one is cursed .hy are you hauntin$ me, /P year old stalker1 By the 'ay, 'hat kind o" /P year old comes to a co""ee shop1 =o you kno' 'hat ! 'as drinkin$ 'hen ! 'as /P years old1 O(25<E 9D!CE Okay, sometimes ! splur$ed on chocolate milk, #ut ! 'asn%t orderin$ small, no 'hip, nonF"at 'hite chocolate mocha lattes &aeyan$FoppaA she cried out "rom the counter 'hen she sa' us 'alkin$ in Oh, Hee;in, he smiled at the youn$er $irl .hat are you doin$ here1

O#viously, stalkin$ someone =aesun$Foppa said that he 'ould meet me here, #ut it%s #een a'hile, so ! don%t think he%s comin$, Hee;in pouted, as she clun$ onto &aeyan$%s arm ! think he has choir practice He%s a choir #oy1 Excuse me, 'hile ! $o in a corner and lau$h out loud Hee;in turned to $ive me a $lare Oh, 'ell then 5o need "or a corner ! took a step #ehind &aeyan$ ,ou kno', "or protection1 Oh, Hee;in, this is ,uri, he introduced us ! don%t kno' 'hy he 'anted to introduce us, unless he 'anted to $et me killed in my sleep ! kno' her, Hee;in said, in a matter o" "act voice She kissed =aesun$Foppa Oh, that 'as it -or the last time, he kissed meA ! said steppin$ out "rom #ehind &aeyan$, #ut ! 6uickly stepped #ack #ehind him a"ter seein$ her an$ry "ace &aeyan$ $ave a nervous lau$h and 6uickly chan$ed the topic (i$ht, so 'here is =aesun$F oppa1 Hee;in%s an$ry "ace 6uickly dissolved at the mention o" =aesun$ !%m not sure, he usually comes here at around U:/7, #ut it%s almost U:7P, so ! don%t kno' i" he%s comin$ or not, she said sadly ! don%t kno' i" ! should order him his usual medium peppermint mocha drink 'ith extra $reen sprinkles and 'hipped cream Oh, my $od ! couldn%t help #ut 'iden my eyes at her comment ! am scared "or you, Can$ =aesun$ ! think you need to $et some dou#le eyelid sur$ery *they completely chan$e your "acial structure+, leave the hair lon$er, and may#e learn some En$lish *don%t $et 9iyon$ to teach you #ecause you%ll #e tryin$ to say that you noticed a "act, #ut you%ll pro#a#ly end up sayin$ you 'anted to "ly and you%ll ;ust $et stran$e looks "rom Lrairie "armers in Canada thinkin$ that you 'ere hi$h, or somethin$ like that+ so that you can move to some o#scure Canadian to'n Heh, 'as all &aeyan$ could say, may#e you should start $oin$ home, it%s $ettin$ really late !%ll tell =aesun$ you 'ere here i" ! see him Hee;in pouted and seemed torn as to 'hether leave or stay, #ut reluctantly, she picked up her drink "rom the ta#le Okay, umma is $oin$ to $et mad that !%m out this late, any'ays She $ave &aeyan$ another #ri$ht smile and $ave me her usual, scary $lare !%m /I and she is /P ,et, she still has the a#ility to scare the livin$ dayli$hts out o" me 'ith that one $lare

&ou$hen up, Cim ,uri Come on, let%s order a drink, &aeyan$ o""ered, once Hee;in 'as out o" si$ht .e ordered our drinks and chose a seat near the 'all that separated the main sittin$ area "rom the stora$e in the #ack ! 'as a#out to take a sip o" my li"e savior, vanilla and ha)elnut co""ee, 'hen someone "rom #ehind the 'all 'hispered somethin$ !s she $one1 a #oy 'ith an overly lar$e hoodie and sun$lasses poked his head "rom #ehind the 'all He looked oddly "amiliar &aeyan$, suddenly, smirked at the #oy and nodded He pulled a chair "rom another ta#le so that he could sit do'n &he #oy $ave a si$h o" relie" and took the seat Oh, my $od ! 'as hidin$ there "or hal" an hour, and ! smell a lot like espresso #eans, the #oy said, as he pulled his hood do'n and took o"" his sun$lasses !t 'as himA ,ahA !t%s youA Can$ =aesun$A ! pointed to him in dis#elie" ,ou%re the reason ! almost died three 'eeks a$o and almost had an em#arrassin$ ne'spaper headline that 'ould pro#a#ly lead to @Here lies Cim ,uri: the perverted noona% on my tom#stoneA He turned to look at &aeyan$ 'ith a look that read, !s she al'ays like this1 to 'hich &aeyan$ nodded He looked #ack at me, and sudden reali)ation da'ned on his "ace Oh, it%s youA &aeyan$ told me he kne' the $irlA !%m so sorry, he said, and he #o'ed his head do'n at me several times 'hile repeatin$ his apolo$y Dm Okay ! usually don%t have #oys #o'in$ their heads and apolo$i)in$ pro"usely at me Hee;in 'anted me to $o on the "erris 'heel 'ith her that day, he #e$an to explain, 'hen he noticed my Gho' should ! explain this Gsurprise at his apolo$ies and actions ! think ! mi$ht have told her the other day that ! only $o on "erris 'heels 'ith $irls that ! really liked ! couldn%t help #ut $rin &hat 'as so s'eet He only $oes on "erris 'heels 'ith $irls he likes But ! suddenly remem#ered that ! almost died #y the hands o" his /P year old 'i"e 'as #ecause o" him Smile o"" ! had to "ind a 'ay to $et a'ay "rom the scene, and o#viously, ! don%t exactly use my head in these types o" situations, and ! thou$ht that may#e i" she sa' me kissin$ another $irl, she mi$ht $et the hint1 he said, tentatively

Oh, =aesun$ ,ou may #e s'eet, #ut you%re incredi#ly stupid .ho thinks like that1 Oh, $irl 2 is annoyin$, there"ore ! 'ill $o "ind random $irl B and kiss her, thus $ettin$ rid o" $irl 2 .ell, it%s all "ine and dandy "or the #oy, #ut the #oy doesn%t think o" 'hat $irl 2 'ill do to $irl B (eal smart, =aesun$, &aeyan$ said, as he patted his #ack =aesun$ shru$$ed and turned to look to'ards me a$ain !%m really sorry, and the kiss meant a#solutely nothin$ to me, he assured me, #ut then his eyes $ot a hint o" play"ulness *don%t ask me ho' ! kno' #ecause he has the smallest eyes, ever+, unless you 'anted it to mean somethin$, then, you kno'R ,ahA ,ou don%t $et to "lirt 'ith her a"ter almost $ettin$ her killed #y your little 'i"ey, &aeyan$ said in an overprotective voice ! $ave him a $rate"ul smile 2lthou$h, !%m not sure i" the overprotective act 'as #ecause he 'as "eelin$ like an oppa or he 'as ;ust $ettin$ ;ealous 5onetheless, ! 'as still $rate"ul ,uri does not need more #oys =aesun$ put his hands up in surrender Okay, okay, sorry, he said, !%ll $et a restrainin$ order on the 'i"e and then 'e can carry on 'ith 'hatever 'e had, ri$ht1 he 'i$$led his eye#ro's at me ! couldn%t help #ut #urst out lau$hin$ He reminded me o" those corny and perverted middle a$ed men 'ith moustaches and $littery coats ! don%t kno' Ey ima$ination is stran$e, sometimes ,ou don%t even kno' her name, idiot, &aeyan$ said, as he took a sip o" his drink &rue =aesun$, you 'ant to $et a restrainin$ order on your 'i"e "or me, and you don%t even kno' my name !t%s nice to kno' that you $o "or personality Oh, ri$ht, !%m Can$ =aesun$, he held out his hand Cim ,uri, ! o""ered my hand and he shook it So, you%re a choir #oy1 ! asked tryin$ not to outri$ht lau$h Okay, it%s cute and all, #ut, oh 'hatever !%m $oin$ to $et stoned to death #y his "an$irl $roup 'hich ! kno' that he pro#a#ly has &hat or Hee;in, alone She looks like she has experience 'ith thro'in$ inanimate o#;ects at people =aesun$ 6uickly turned to look at &aeyan$ 'ith an accusin$ $lare ,ahA ,ou told her1 &aeyan$ thre' his hands up and 'aved them in denial He $ave him a look that said, 5O& EE Oh, Hee;in1 =aesun$ asked, and &aeyan$ nodded and made another stran$e expression Oh, ! see, ! see !t%s "unny ho' these t'o can communicate 'ith each other 'ith simple hand $estures and "acial

expressions He turned his attention #ack to me and ! could see that his cheeks 'ere tinted red, a #it ,eah, !%ve #een doin$ choir since ! 'as K years old, and every time ! 'ant to 6uit, they make me "eel $uilty and ! keep $ettin$ lured #ack on, he explained, and then suddenly $ave an alert expression But let%s ;ust keep this #et'een us SO CD&E !%m sorry !t is &aeyan$, suddenly $ot up, sayin$ that he needed to use the 'ashroom and 'ould #e #ack in a moment or t'o Once &aeyan$ le"t, =aesun$ turned to me and said, ! 'as completely ;okin$ a#out the 'hole $ettin$ to$ether thin$, or 'hatever you call it Oh, ! kno', !%mR !%m not really interested in $ettin$ into a relationship, ri$ht no', he #e$an tappin$ the ta#le nervously &hat%s co G ! have a /P year old stalker, and she%s $ro'n on me, a #it, he said, Even thou$h, ! randomly kissed you that day, ! actually "elt a tiny #it $uilty a"ter'ards, like ! 'as cheatin$ on Hee;in !s that cra)y1 He looked at me expectedly ,eah &hat is really cra)y 2ctuallyR #ut he cut me o"" ! think it%s #ecause o" my past 'ith $irls, ! mean, !%ve #een in a lot o" relationships in the past, and !%ve put my all into it, #ut they all seem to end misera#ly, he said, no' as i" he 'as talkin$ to himsel" ! 'onder 'hat !%m doin$ 'ron$1 !t%s not like ! cheat on them, call them names or do stupid thin$s Or, may#e it%s ;ust that G ! tried to ans'er, #ut no dice !%ve #een sin$le "or a#out a year no', and a lot o" $uys em#race the sin$le li"e, #ut ! actually like #ein$ in a relationship ! like havin$ someone to spoil and lau$h 'ith, he said, no' in a more som#er tone ! $uess 'hen Hee;in started her o#session 'ith me, it "elt like ! 'as in a relationship !t may #e a distur#in$ relationship, #ut still some kind o" t'isted relationship =aesun$, there%s plentyR ,eah, ! think ! am cra)y, and !%m one o" those people 'ho need a relationship to "eel secure in li"e, ri$ht1 he asked !t seems to #e likeR

,ou%re ri$ht, ,uri, ! need to learn to #e independent and more secure 'ith mysel", he said in a sudden con"ident voice =on%t you think1 ! thou$ht that G Okay, !%m #ack, ready to $o1 &aeyan$ suddenly appeared #y the ta#le ! opened my mouth to say somethin$, #ut =aesun$ cut me o"" ,eah, ! should #e headin$ #ack home, too, =aesun$ said, as he stood up to put on his ;acket !t 'as nice meetin$ you, ,uri &hanks "or the adviceA ,ou%re really $ood at $ivin$ it ! shru$$ed, as i" it 'as nothin$ 5o really !t, literally, 'as nothin$ Once =aesun$ le"t, &aeyan$ turned to'ards me Since 'hen did you start $ivin$ out $ood advice1 He seems a #it happier, too &aeyan$ $lanced out o" the 'indo', and sure enou$h, there 'as a #it o" a skip in =aesun$%s 'alk Dh ,ay1 <o, me1 ,ou ready to $o home1 he asked me, as he looked at my hal" empty co""ee cup Oh, yeah, ! replied, #ut ! can 'alk home, it%s not too "ar &aeyan$ raised an eye#ro' at me !t%s very unusual "or me to turn do'n rides Considerin$ ho' sometimes ! think !%m the only /I year old 'ho doesn%t have their license !t is not my "ault that the "irst time ! 'ent drivin$ ! ran over 4 small animals *may they rest in peace+, 'ent on a one 'ay road Gin the opposite direction, or scarred my drivin$ instructor "or li"e !t ended #adly #ecause my instructor $ave me a speech a#out ho' some people 'ere meant to drive, 'hile others 'ere meant to take the #us .hen he said the last part, he $ave me a look that implied that that 'as directed to'ards me <ee, thanks, "or the sel" esteem #oost, Er =rivin$ !nstructor !%ll #e "ineA ! reassured him &his 'hole day has le"t me drained, and ! "i$ured that a short 'alk to my apartment on my o'n 'ould #e ;ust 'hat ! needed &aeyan$ $ave me a concerned look, #ut 'alked to'ards his car, any'ays Okay, 'ell, text me 'hen you $et #ack home or somethin$ He slipped into his car and 'aved as he drove past ! started 'alkin$ home and =aesun$%s 'ords #e$an to haunt my mind C&m one of those people who need a relationship to feel secure in life, right,C .as ! one o" those people, too1 ! think that%s 'hen !t "inally hit me (i$ht there and then, under the corner street li$ht at I:7Q pm, ! reali)ed that ! needed to $et out o" this rut and #ecome the normal yet cra)y Cim ,uri ! 'as three 'eeks a$o

! could do it &he s'itch 'ill turn o"", one day ! 'ould #e okay (i$ht1 &hin$s can only $et #etter "rom here on in, ri$ht1 ! mean, they can%t $et 'orse !%ve ;ust spent the last 4F7 'eeks in a complete da)e 2t least, ! avoided $ettin$ hit #y chicken "illed trucks, ri$ht1 &hat has to #e a si$n that thin$s 'ill $et #etter &hese thin$s take time ! $ot home sa"ely and 'ent to the "rid$e "or one last #o'l o" $reen tea ice cream Seun$ri may #e ri$ht a#out a lot o" thin$s, #ut "ood is the cure to all my pro#lems today !%m surprised ! can still eat, to #e honest Six thousand pieces o" sushi, ice cream and co""ee later, ! could still eat another scoop o" ice cream Ey phone suddenly #e$an playin$ that a'"ul rap son$, a$ain ! didn%t have the heart to chan$e it, thou$h ! picked it up thinkin$ it 'as either &aeyan$ or Seun$ri messa$in$ me to see i" ! 'as at home sa"ely But, thin$s don%t usually 'ork out ho' ! think Babo writes: %uri@ah. -o pain, no gain. -o miss, no bliss -o revert, no hurt Ey $reen tea ice cream dropped to the "loor ! looked at the #roken shards and melted ice cream 2ll those reassurin$ and sel" con"ident thou$hts ! ;ust had, 'ell, they ;ust kind o" diminished S'itch, please turn o""

Chapter Seven, Lart One

*ho else am & gonna lean on *hen times get rough *ho?s gonna talk to me on the phone 'ill the sun comes up ! think ! understand 'here my cra)iness comes "rom

!t%s completely $enetic &oday 'as -e#ruary /Q Talentine%s =ay &he day that $irls cro'd around their currentM'ouldF#e #oy"riend, present o#session, crush, "riend 'ith #ene"it, etc and $ive them chocolates and $i"ts ! 'as 'atchin$ my mother "lounce around the kitchen sin$in$ alon$ to Eariah Carey%s *e =elong 'ogether comin$ "rom the television She, a#solutely, loved Talentine%s =ay and .hite =ay 'hich explained 'hy she had 'oken up so early *it%s 0:/K 2E, #y the 'ay+ today to prepare a special .estern styled #reak"ast "or my 2ppa and ! Ey Dmma has #een experimentin$ a lot, lately, 'ith her cookin$ 3ast 'eek, she 'as $oin$ throu$h a dessert phase, 'hich should%ve #een ama)in$ "or me, #ut apple pie doesn%t taste so $ood 'hen you overstu"" the "illin$ 'ith apples and then the top layer o" the pie explodes in the oven &hen, you%re le"t 'ith so"t and semiFun#aked apples and a hard as rock crust ! think Seun$ri needs to come over and teach Dmma and &aeyan$ a thin$ or t'o a#out #akin$ desserts, so that no harm 'ill come to small household pets or dama$es to household appliances & only think of you 7nd it?s breaking my heart &?m trying to keep it together =ut &?m falling apart (i$ht She, also, loves 2merican music !%m not sure 'hy she%s playin$ this son$, unless she%s purposely tryin$ to press all my #uttons and $et me to run #ack to 9iyon$ She%s met him a couple o" times, #ut ! really didn%t expect her to like him Clearly, ! 'as 'ron$ 3ook at it "rom a parent%s perspective ,our dau$hter #rin$s home a #oy that 'ears outra$eously #ri$ht and shiny hoodies, "its skinny ;eans #etter than your dau$hter, has t'o tattoos on his arms, has a stran$e and outlandish personality and his $oal in li"e is to #ecome a rapper ,eah ! 'ouldn%t #e too thrilled, either, #ut a"ter Q minutes o" them talkin$ to$ether, ! think my Dmma 'as more in love 'ith 9iyon$ than ! 'as .hich, #y the 'ay, 'as a lot #ecause the 'ords: !, love, you, and 9iyon$ didn%t exactly exist to$ether, yet, and presently, they still don%t 2pparently, Dmma is a "an o" the cheesy romanticist #ecause 9iyon$ had sprouted out some random rhymes "or my mother praisin$ her on 'hat a 'onder"ul ;o# she had done on raisin$ me and ho' #eauti"ul she 'as ! had to $ive some credit to 9iyon$ .ho else 'ould rap, my roni%s ma is special, ya1 3ike a pearl in the sun, she%s $ot me done to their $irl"riend%s mother1 Ey 2ppa, on the other hand, didn%t really take a likin$ to'ards 9iyon$ So typical, ! kno' But it 'as more so o" the "act that a /I year old #oy 'as doin$ a #etter ;o# at 'ooin$ his 'i"e than he 'as .hen Dmma asked me, 4 'eeks a$o, 'hy 9iyon$ didn%t come #y "or #reak"ast *that mi$ht #e another reason 'hy she loves him so, he comes #y at least once a 'eek to have #reak"ast 'hich 'ould usually annoy a $irl%s parents, #ut Dmma a#solutely loved it+, any more ! couldn%t

avoid the situation any lon$er, so ! told them o" the #reak Overreactin$ 'ould #e an understatement Dmma 'as practically heart#roken She 'as, de"initely, more hurt than ! 'as over this #reak 2ppa sho'ed concern, #ut ! kne' he 'as secretly happy that he didn%t have to come up 'ith silly rhymes every other 'eek to please umma Dmma tried many times to talk me out o" it, #ut it didn%t 'ork ! think that a"ter you try #ri#in$ your dau$hter 'ith Q lar$e *al#eit a #it #urnt+ layer cakes to make her $et #ack to$ether 'ith her #oy"riend, and she still doesn%t 'ant to, you kind o" $et the hint Oh #a#y, #a#y, 'e #elon$ to$etha, my mother%s out o" pitch sin$in$ #rou$ht me #ack to reality ! looked up "rom the eatin$ ta#le and sa' her scrapin$ *heart shaped1+ pancakes o"" o" the pan and into 7 plates 'ith cream and stra'#erries to the side She really loves this day ! loved this day last year, too Here you $o, ,uriFah, Dmma suddenly came up #eside me and placed the per"ect pancakes in "ront o" me ! smiled at her and du$ in .ho kne' "lour, e$$s, su$ar and somethin$ called maple syrup 'ould taste so $ood 2s ! che'ed on my "ood, ! noticed Dmma 'as still standin$ #eside me $ivin$ me a concerned look ! couldn%t help #ut think o" Eunyoun$ at this instant 5o, really, it%s like t'ins Dmma sat do'n in the seat #eside me, and $ra##ed hold o" my hand Be"ore ! could even comprehend my Dmma%s actions, she #e$an to talk ,uriFah, ! kno' that you and 9iyon$ are on a #reak, #utR Oh, $reat Here it comes ! think you need to start $ettin$ over him and "ind another nice #oyA .ait .hat1 Ey shock must have #een evident on my "ace #ecause Dmma $ently patted me on the #ack ,ou%re too youn$ to #e chained do'n to one #oy <o out, min$le and "ind someone, todayA Ey eyes 'ere hu$e 'ith surprise ! s'ear Dmma 'as intent on makin$ 9iyon$ her sonFinFla', so this sudden out#urst 'as really shockin$ ,ou only live once, she said, thou$ht"ully and 'ent #ack into the kitchen

.ell &hat 'as unexpected TFday is here, so don%t "ear, your 2ppa is hereA .hat the B hell1 &hat couldnVt #e 2m ! hallucinatin$1 ! turned around and sa' 2ppa em#race Dmma 'ith a hu$ !%m sorry i" that 'asn%t as $reat as the youn$sters% rappin$ these days Dmma #lushed and pushed him a'ay so that she could "inish up the rest o" #reak"ast Ey appa scurried over to the ta#le and all ! could really do 'as stare at him 'ith my open mouth "illed 'ith pancakes &hat 'as $ood, ri$ht1 2ppa smiled at me ! should $o #y <Fdad, no' =id he ;ust B1 .as that a B 1 B my "amily is insane FFFFFFFFFFFF ! don%t even kno' 'hy ! had chosen to 'ake up so early ! only had one class and it started at 0:PP LE 9oy 2nd here ! 'as standin$ in "ront o" my usual co""ee shop at U:PP 2E prayin$ that no adolescent stalkers, #oy"riends, "riends 'ho 'ant to #ecome #oy"riends, "reeloaders, "riends 'ho pay other "riends to date a "riend 'ould #e in there !t%d #e so much easier i" ! chan$ed co""ee shops, #ut 'hat can ! say1 !%ve $ro'n really attached to this place ! stepped in and, shockin$ly, the place 'as hal" empty and there 'ere no si$ns o" any o" the a#ove ! ordered the usual co""ee and 'as a#out to "ind a seat 'hen the #arista o""ered me a cupcake !t%s on the house, she said 'ith a smile Happy Talentine%s =ayA ! smiled and 'ondered i" she 'as $ivin$ it to me out o" pity .hat kind o" $irl 'alks into a co""ee shop at at U:PP 2E on TalentineVs =ay lookin$ like total crap 'ith no si$n o" a #oy"riend in si$ht1 1 no

Oh, ri$ht Ee 5onetheless, ! took the cupcake any'ays and "ound a ta#le near the 'indo's ! #e$an rumma$in$ throu$h my lar$e tote #a$ searchin$ "or some readin$s that ! had to do #e"ore class !nstead o" "indin$ my papers, my cell phone and small note#ook 'ere the only thin$s in there Talentine%s =ay is makin$ me disoriented, con"used, and more cra)y Seein$ the cell phone automatically made me think o" 9iyon$ !t had #een a 'eek since 9iyon$%s impromptu text 2nd you all must #e 'onderin$ 'hat ! did in reply ! did the only thin$ ! kne' ho' to do in these situations ! i$nored him !%m a co'ard !%m admittin$ it ! can already hear the #ooFin$, #ut in my de"ense, 'hat could you 'rite in reply to that1 B Exactly ! haven%t received another text "rom him since that day ! put the phone #ack into my #a$, and took out the "at note#ook "illed 'ith my li"e !t 'asn%t a diary or somethin$ that ! poured my heart and soul into, #ut rather, it 'as ;ust a #ook o" reminders or memories compacted into a sentence or t'o ! #e$an to "lip throu$h the pa$es, stoppin$ at the rather colour"ul or interestin$ entries &he "irst entry that cau$ht my eye 'as 9anuary 7, the day that 9iyon$ and !, o""icially, #ecame a couple ,anuary -$ .00/ >won Jiyong :(@$ragon; is now my boyfriend DD & told "eungri and hes semi@happy, but & think thats Bust because he thinks hell have to bake less cupcakes for me. EFE &oo "resh, too real, 2nd 'e 'on%t stop Sho' me 'hat you $ot Can%t do it like ! do 9unyoung and & were in the audience, as we watched Jiyong rapping his heart out in the schools annual talent competition. 6e made me promise to be there. & was never one to go out

and watch these types of things, but Jiyong made me pinky swear him, and he gets serious about the pinky swear business. G6es really good<C 9unyoung yelled out at me. 9ven though we were right beside each other, the audience was insane and we could barely hear one another. 'he fact that the music was at full blast didnt help either. & looked up towards the stage and couldnt help but feel a surge of genuine happiness go through me. Jiyong may not be a celebrity, but here at our high school, he was a star. 6e had been practicing for months and trust me & would know, because whenever he was in need of an audience he would call up either 'aeyang or me. & didnt understand why he chose to call me because & am completely clueless about rap and music. =ut, it felt nice to be hearing something from Jiyong that no one else had heard. .e 'orkin% it like 'hoa ,ou "ools don%t kno' .hat%s comin% to ya <et o"" the "loor, this is 'icked -o sho 6e was, definitely, working the audience. 7ll the girls in the front row were screaming out G(@ $ragonC< "everal of them had fan signs and & think one of them read# /788% /9< *ell, then. *hat was that, & think & might have felt a twinge of Bealousy. 7t least, he didnt have scantily clad back up dancers behind him. &nstead of girls, he chose 2 =@ boys to dance behind him. (ood call, Jiyong. G'hank you, thank you, >won JiHoh, & mean (@$ragon< +ets give him another round of applause<C the /C said to Jiyong as he finished up his set. 'he crowd roared with screams and applauses, to which Jiyong bowed profusely in return. 6e was smiling like a maniac, but who wouldnt in his position, G3kay, and the neIt contestant G =ut whatever he said, & didnt catch, because & saw Jiyong get off the stage and look in my general direction. 6e, immediately, smiled even brighter when he saw me and waved me over. & couldnt help but return that huge smile of his. & told 9unyoung that & would be back in a few minutes and went off towards Jiyong before even waiting for her reply. Jiyong grabbed hold of my hand and brought me backstage to a .uiet corner away from all the prying eyes of the production crew.

G'hat was great, Jiyong<C & cried out at him, and practically Bumped him for a hug. G'hey absolutely loved you<C G'hanks, %uri, but &m all sweaty, & dont think you want to touch me,C he said with a grin, as he pried me off. & stepped back and still couldnt stop smiling at him. 'his sounds so cheesy, but it looked like he was glowing. G4m, %uri,C he began, and he looked down to the floor. "ince when does >won Jiyong get shy, 6es Bust performed in front of hundreds of people< & looked at him with my smiling face and eIpectant eyes waiting for him to continue. 6e looked up again and took a step closer. G& dont know if its from the high of Bust performing or if &m completely out of my mind, but J 'hings really do happen in slow motion if you let them. & stood there looking at him 2 waiting for him to finish his last sentence, but instead & watched as he slowly leaned in and closed his eyes. 6e gently pressed his lips against mine without a hint of movement. 7nd, & think thats when & thought that time stopped. 'here, in the dark corner, of a high schools annual talent competition with loud music echoing throughout the room, >won Jiyong kissed me. & slowly relaIed and closed my wide and surprised eyes. "ensing that & wasnt going to scream and run in the opposite direction, he softly placed his hands around my waistK pulling me closer towards him. & placed my arms around his neck :sweatiness be damned; and gave into the kiss. Airst kisses are normally uneIpected, fun and eIciting. Jiyong, most definitely, delivered on all three components. & havent kissed many boys in my life, but the soft and slow kiss that Jiyong was giving me was something & could feel all the way to the tips of my toes and fingertips. 'here was no other word to describe it :and, really, when >won Jiyong kisses you, theres no room to be thinking; but as nice. Jiyong pulled away, slightly, but didnt remove his arms from my waist. & slowly looked up at him, all the while, trying to figure out how to breathe correctly. 'he saying, ?he took my breath away? couldnt ring more true than now. G%uri@ah,C he said .uietly. 'he music continued to echo, and & could vaguely hear the /C say a comment, but all my attention was focused on the boy in front of me. G& like you.C & gave him a small smile, encouraging him to go on. G7nd C he looked up at the ceiling, than to the lights on my left, basically anywhere that wasnt my face. G& want you to be my girlfriend.C & smiled even more and pulled his face towards mine to give him another kiss on the lips. G"o, & take that as a yes,C was all Jiyong could say when & pulled away.

& hit him playfully on the shoulder. G=abo, of course its a yes.C 9iyon$ didn%t end up 'innin$ that contest, #ut he didn%t really seem to mind ! "lipped a "e' pa$es to the next entry that had a massive red heart outlinin$ it 0ebruary 11$ .00/ 5retty good Lalentines $ay, & must admit. =abo has brought a whole new meaning to it. DD & still think its a commercially fueled holiday, though M$ G& adore you,C & whispered, as & saw my present in front of me. Jiyong came up from behind me and lit the last candle. G%ep, & figured it was better than N& like you or N& think youre a cool girl or something lame like that.C & grinned and turned to look at him. G%ou know that girls are supposed to give the gifts and chocolates today, right,C & gestured to the table. G7nd not the boys,C 6e shrugged and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. G& like doing things different. %ou can spoil me on *hite $ay.C & laughed and was about to lean in to give him a thank you kiss, but something hit me. G*ait, you dont even know how to bake< 6ow did you do this,C *hen & say Nthis, & was referring to Jiyongs Lalentines $ay gift to me. & hadnt seen Jiyong all day, and wasnt able to give him the traditional boI of chocolates and cute card. "o, when & walked into my apartment to find Jiyong standing there with 00 candle@lit cupcakes behind him, & was a bit shocked. 6e moved aside and & could read that he had used the cupcakes to write G& adore youC on them. G6eh, well, & did get some help,C he said, nervously. 6e began ruffling his hair with one hand. 6e tends to do that a lot when hes either nervous, lying or both. & stepped away from. G$id you force "eungri to do this,C 6e widened his eyes at me and threw his hands up in defense. G3f course not< *hy would & get my girlfriends best friend to make my Lalentines $ay gift,C he asked, clearly offended. G6e gave me the recipe and he helped out a bit, but & did a maBority of the work.C & looked at him skeptically and then looked at the cupcakes. &t was true, if "eungri had made these, they wouldve had perfect swirls and piping. 'hese were messy, yet cute, and they looked charming. G3kay,C & murmured, and leaned in again, but then another thought surfaced. G7ctually, howd you get into my apartment,C Jiyong groaned, clearly getting impatient about almost getting two kisses, but only to be interrupted. G& told your 4mma about what & had planned and since she loves me so much, she

let me borrow the spare key.C 3h, my 4mma was sneeeeeaky. -o wonder she was so giggly this morning. G3h, & see,C & murmured. G%eah, thank you for having so little faith in me,C he pouted in a teasing manner. & smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. C&m so very sorry, can you ever forgive me,C & said playfully. G&ts okay,C Jiyong said, as he placed his arms around me for the second time, Gyou can make it up to me, now.C & laughed and finally gave him his Lalentines $ay kiss. ! had "or$otten that at one point, Seun$ri and 9iyon$ had semi $otten alon$ .ell, at least enou$h "or Seun$ri to help 9iyon$ to make cupcakes &he next entry ! "ound 'as 'ritten messily and the ink 'as smud$ed in random spots %ay 12$ .00/ Airst real and intense fight that Jiyong and & had. 6e went to an open call for =( 8ecords 2 a really well known 6ip 6op company known for sky rocketing the careers of many young artists. & didnt go. G$id you know that all of the boys that & met today, they all had at least someone there to support them,C Jiyong calmly said to me. & was sitting in my living room couch, back completely straight and utterly tense. & was staring at Jiyongs back, as he stared out of the window. 'he second he walked into the apartment, & knew things weren?t right. *eve had small fights every now and then, and they all escalated into huge yelling matches between the two of us. "o, when Jiyong .uietly knocked on my door and entered without even saying a word, & was a bit scared. Jiyong turned around to look at me. G7ll & wanted was for you to Bust show up for 1 minutes,C he said, and he walked closer towards my seat. GJust five minutes was all & asked.C & clasped my hands together, nervously. GJiyong, you know that & had that art@@C G%uri, its always art this and art that,C he interrupted me, G& understand that its important to you, but today, in the 1 months that weve been together, is the only time that &ve asked you to make an eItra effort to come out.C & widened my eyes at him. G'hats not true< *hat about before we dated, 7ll those times, you called me in the middle of the night to listen to a new verse that you wrote, 7ll those times &

cancelled plans with other people Bust to see you perform in some contest, *hat about those times,C & yelled at him. GJust because & didnt make it to a stupid aud@@C G&t wasnt a stupid audition< &t was important to me<C he yelled back. G7nd, you are important to me, and & wanted you to be there.C & looked at him in silence, not knowing what to say. G=ut, now & dont know if you are, anymore,C he said this in such a .uiet voice, and yet it carried such a heavy blow. "ilence. G*hat,C &t was the only simple word & could utter. G+ets Bust end it,C he said with finality, and he walked to the door. %ou are important to me. & dont know if you are, anymore. +ets Bust end it. 'he words echoed through my head. G%ou cant Bust run away from things, >won Jiyong<C & frantically cried out to him. 6e had stopped mid@step when he heard my voice. & was holding my breath. & was Bust waiting for him to say something, do something, anything. 6e turned around, slowly and looked me directly in the eye. 6e looked so tired. *hether it was from the stress of the audition or me, & didnt know. G&m too used to it,C he said, and he left. & dont know how long & stood there. & like to think that & stood there because of shock, but in reality, & knew it was because & was hoping for him to come running back into the apartment and say that he had not meant any of the words he had Bust said. =ut, that didnt happen. &hat 'as the "irst hu$e "i$ht that ended in a #reak up &'o days later, ! "ound 9iyon$ sittin$ in "ront o" my apartment door 'ith an apolo$y .e, immediately, made up and 'ent on li"e as a couple, as i" this "i$ht never happened 9iyon$ and ! are $ood at that <ood at repressin$ the #ad memories o" our relationship, that is ! continued "lippin$ throu$h the pa$es and landed on a particularly interestin$ summer day August 3$ .00/ 6ottest day, ever. &n more ways than one. M5

'oday was a record breaking day in "eoul. 'he weather was at least 2 degrees higher than what was considered normal. &t was so, ridiculously, hot. & wasnt eIactly sure why & thought green tea ice cream would be worth walking outside of my nice and air conditioned home. & was dressed in a thin shirt and shorts, and yet, when & stepped two steps out of the building, & was already sweating like a pig. 'he sun was blaring in my eyes and the air was hot and humid. *hile walking towards the convenience store, & kept wondering if ice cream was actually worth this walk, but by the time & got halfway, there was no going back. & really should have brought sunglasses along with me because the bright sunlight was blinding me. Just as & had this thought, something completely covered the brightness of the sun in front of me. 7n umbrella, *hat the hell, G*ho goes out in fifty degrees Celsius weather without sunglasses,C & smiled at the sound of the voice. G*hat are you doing here,C & asked, although & really couldnt see him because of the large umbrella separating us. G7nd why do you have an umbrella,C Jiyong popped his head out from behind the umbrella and ducked down to stand underneath it with me. G*ell, & was coming over to see my girlfriend, but & noticed this other girl who was walking down the street and she looked as if she about to faint from the hotness and brightness of the sun, and so & thought & would play 5rince Charming and rescue her,C he said cheekily. G7nd, umbrellas arent Bust for aBuhmmas anymore.C & rolled my eyes at him. G6aha, very funny.C 6e gave me that famous smile of his in return. G*hy are you out here, anyways, %ou should be in your air conditioned home, so that your boyfriend doesnt have to be standing in the middle of the sidewalk with an umbrella over you.C 6e had a point. & laughed at the picture we must have made. G'hen, lets go,C & said, tugging him along to the convenience store with umbrella in tow. G& need to buy ice cream.C G7re you serious, %ou left your nice and cool apartment to buy ice cream,C he asked in disbelief, but followed along nonetheless. G%es< 7 hot day without ice cream is like a C *hat was it like, G%uri without Jiyong,C he asked, sweetly.

& hit him, lightly. /y boyfriend is so cheesy. G*hy dont you get ice cream from that street vendor, &f you buy a whole tub, itll melt by the time you get home,C Jiyong suggested, pointing to the ice cream cart near us. 6mm. 6e had a point. "o, we walked towards the ice cream cart underneath the massive umbrella that was shielding us from the sun. 'he street vendor gave us a weird look, but & ignored him and ordered a green tea ice cream cone. G$oes your boyfriend want one, too,C the ice cream vendor asked in a gruff voice. Jiyong shook his head. G7re you sure, %oure already skinny enough, you barely have any meat on you,C he insisted.C& can see all your bones sticking out.C G&m fine,C Jiyong replied, a tad bit offended. "ure, Jiyong was on the skinny side, but he wasnt as skinny as the ice cream vendor was putting him out to be. & figured it must have been out of Bealousy because the vendor was a bit on the heavier side and it didnt even look like he possessed any bones. & took the ice cream from the vendor, but no sooner had & walked three steps, a giant scoop fell off and onto my pale yellow shirt. G3mo,C & frowned. Jiyong set the umbrella down and yelled out to the vendor if he had any napkins. G-ope, sorry,C was what he said, but he didnt sound very sorry, at all. Just my luck. G7ish, your shirt is ruined, and you dont want to walk home like that,C Jiyong murmured. G3h, & know, but & guess we can BuHJiyong< *hat are you doing,C & cried out, as & saw Jiyong start to lift up his wife beater over his head. G5ut your shirt back on<C G$ont worry, & saw about O boys walking around shirtless today, and green tea ice cream stains fast if @@C G$ont worry about my shirt< Just @@its okay< $ont worry about it<C & said, trying to look anywhere but his chest and the fact that he was shirtless. & swear my face was turning bright red. G%uri, dont get all 2J =ut whatever he was about to say, & didnt get to hear because the ice cream vendor had yelled something out at us.

G%ah< 5ut your shirt back on< %oure an embarrassment to all men,C the ice cream vendor said, and he threw a pile of napkins at Jiyong. G'hats going to cost you the price of a large ice cream cone, by the way.C 'he ice cream man was clearly scamming us, but whatever it took to make Jiyong put his shirt back on was fine with me. Jiyong paid the man, but reluctantly. 6e was about to wipe the ice cream off of me, but & .uickly took the napkins out of his hands. GJiyong< &m fine, its okay,C & said nervously, as & wiped the ice cream from my shirt. 6e stared at me for a moment, but then shrugged and slipped his shirt back on. *e began walking away from the ice cream stand after & had cleaned my shirt up. & put my hands on my cheeks and they were burning, and it definitely was not from the heat. G6ey, arent we going the wrong way, $ont you still want ice cream,C Jiyong asked, as he caught up with me. G*hy are you walking so fast,C G3h, no, its okay, & can live without ice cream for one day,C & said .uickly. G%eah, lets Bust go back home.C Jiyong nodded and we continued the walk back home. & felt like & was twelve. & was nineteen years old for god sake< 'he sight of a topless guy should not embarrass you, >im %uri. 7nd the fact that it is your boyfriends topless self should definitely not embarrass you. & felt my cheeks burn, again. G6ey, are you okay, %our face is really red,C Jiyong stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop my .uickened pace. 6e placed his hands on my face and gave me a worried look. G7nd, youre really burning up.C & laughed nervously, and started fanning myself. G&ts Bust the weather,C & reassured him, trying to avoid his ga)e. G$ont worry<C G=ut, & dont think@@C Jiyong stopped mid@sentence, and & think thats when it hit him. 6e gave me a mischievous smile and grabbed my hand. G+ets get you cooled down.C ! smiled at the memory o" that day ! don%t think anyone kno's ho' shocked ! 'as 'hen ! heard him say, 3et%s $et you cooled do'n 2ll the 'hile he had led me to my apartment, ! 'as scared as hell #ecause hello, 'hat else could @let%s $et you cooled do'n% mean1 .hen 'e $ot home, he surprised me even more #ecause he ended up usin$ the smoothie maker my mother #ou$ht *total impulse #uy+ to make ice cold avocado shakes "or us 3et%s $et you cooled do'n

2ish ! still #lush 'hen ! think o" that day ! continued turnin$ the pa$es, skippin$ the small "i$hts and petty thin$s ! stopped on 5ovem#er /4th #ecause o" the a#solute neatness and clearness o" it !t shocked me a #it #ecause the su#;ect o" this entry 'as anythin$ #ut neat and clear 4o+e(ber 1.$ .00/ 6ad my first art showcase with "eoul 4niversity. 9veryone was there. 9Icept for Jiyong. G&s this payback for me not going to your =( audition,C & was standing in front of the art center in the free)ing cold weather. G=ecause you know & wanted you here.C Jiyong kicked the snow ball in front of him and refused to look up at me. 6e looked out of place in his metallic blue coat and Beans while everyone else at the art showcase was dressed in formal and dark colours. G& did want to come,C he said .uietly, Gbut, 'aeyang said that there was a rumor that +ee /insoo was going to be at Club $epth tonight, and you know that would have Bump started my career.C & crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him. G7nd was he there,C & heard him sigh deeply. G-o, it was Bust what 'aeyang saidK a rumour.C 7 suffocating silence had engulfed us. & dont even know how many fights weve had since January. & know that fighting is healthy for a relationship, but youre supposed to grow and learn from these fights, right, =ut Jiyong and &, we dont do that. *e fight, and then we make up and pretend that the fights never happen. &s that normal, & wrapped my arms around me, suddenly feeling the harsh winter wind. Jiyong started to take his coat off, but & stopped him. G-o, its okay,C & said. GJiyong, maybe we should Bust@@C G$ont say it,C he said, bluntly. & looked at him, and he firmly stood there with a wild and desperate look in his eyes. G$o you remember what you said siI months ago, 'hat & cant Bust run away from my problems,C he told me. G%eah, and & also remember you saying that you were too used to running,C & replied. G"o &m not giving you an eIcuse to run away anymore. &n fact, right now, &m letting you @@C G-o, youre the one thats running away this time, its not me,C he said, as he stepped closer to place his warm Backet around my shivering shoulders. & let him this time.

*as & really, *as & Bust taking the easy way out, -o. & was Bust putting an end to a relationship that continued to go everywhere and nowhere at once. 6e suddenly placed his hands on my shoulders, and tipped my chin up so that & had no choice but to look at him. G$ont do this,C he pleaded with me.C&ve come to do)ens of your art shows and you cant Bust end things Bust because & didnt come to this one.C 6e and & both knew that our problems werent Bust because of a missed art showcase or auditionK it ran deeper than that. *e like to lie to ourselves by making our problems simpler. /y lips began to tremble. & wasnt sure if it was because of the cold or what & was about to do. & stepped away from him, and took off his Backet. G&m sorry,C & whispered, trying not to burst into tears in front of him. & placed his Backet into his arms and .uickly turned around to head back into the building. & didnt want to see his face, his eyes, his mouthHanything. &f & had turned back around, & knew that it would completely break me and & would try to take back everything that & had Bust said and done. &t was oddly reminiscent of the scene siI months ago in my apartment. 'he neIt day, "eungri had told me that Jiyong had stood outside in the cold for another 2 hours after our talk. & couldnt help but wonder if he, like me, P months ago, stood there because of shock or whether he was hoping & would come running back to him. &hat particular @#reak up% lasted a 'eek and a hal" &his time it 'as me 'ho 'aited outside 9iyon$%s 'orkplace 'ith a re6uest to talk thin$s over 5ot surprisin$ly, 'e decided to $ive the relationship another try ! 'asn%t kiddin$ 'hen ! said our relationship 'as #ipolar .hen it 'as $ood, it 'as really $ood .hen it 'as #ad, it 'as really #ad 2nd yet, 'e someho' al'ays ended up cra'lin$ #ack to one another and 'e%d accept each other 'ith open arms &hen, 'e%d #e happy "or a "e' months and another @#reak up% 'ould ensue and the cycle 'ould start all over a$ain &he #reak that 9iyon$ and ! are on currently is de"initely the lon$est one, so "ar !" 'e aren%t #ein$ technical, it%s #een a#out a month and a hal" &o #e honest, !%m surprised !%ve lasted this lon$ ! really am startin$ to think that ! am #ecomin$ a person 'ho "eels insecure and lo' i" they%re not in a relationship Can$ =aesun$ and ! need to start our o'n support $roup

! closed my note#ook and si$hed deeply !t%s "unny ho' so much can chan$e in a year .hat is also "unny is ho' you can read a "e' lines a#out a particular day and the memories o" that day come rushin$ at you like a tidal 'ave ! can #arely remem#er 'hat happened 7 hours a$o, and yet, 'hen ! ;ust read 4 simple lines o" 'ords, ! can easily envision everythin$ that happened that day ! looked around at the couples 'ho 'ere slo'ly takin$ over the co""ee shop &hey all looked extremely happy to #e in one another%s company ! looked #ack do'n at my pity cupcake and #ack up at the cashier area &he #arista 'as $ivin$ me a sad and piti"ul look ! think ! need to chan$e co""ee shops Happy Talentine%s =ay, Cim ,uri

Chapter Seven, Lart &'o

! 'as a $ood person, ri$ht1 ! didnVt chase a"ter #oys that 'ere youn$ enou$h to land me in ;ail ! didnVt do dru$s, smoke or drink *excessively+ ! visited Lerry *the parrot+ every other 'eek #ecause ! still "elt sli$htly responsi#le "or his lack o" voca#ulary ! al'ays $ave Eunyoun$ my notes 'hen she decided to skip classes ! made #reak"ast "or Dmma and 2ppa B okay, that%s a lie, #ut 'hen ! 'ake up early enou$h, ! doA B .o', ! really am a $ood person Hah ! deserve some kind o" pat on the #ack ! "eel like !Vm puttin$ mysel" on too much o" a hi$h pedestal .hen did ! $et so cocky1 2ny'ays, 'hat 'as ! talkin$ a#out1 !%m $ettin$ too sel" a#sor#ed, aren%t !1 Oh ri$ht, i" ! 'as such a $ood person, 'hy 'as it that Lark Hee;in, /P year old stalker extraordinaire, 'as sittin$ in the seat directly in "ront o" me1 ! s'ear !%ll chan$e co""ee shops next 'eek, or somethin$ &he second ! sa' her 'alk into the co""ee shop, my head 'as already )oomin$ 'ith ideas as to ho' to avoid her 2t "irst, ! thou$ht o" hidin$ underneath the circular ta#le, #ut that 'ould%ve ;ust $uaranteed more attention to'ards me and it also 'ould have made me look completely insane ! thou$ht a#out sneakin$ out or even hidin$ in the stora$e room in the #ack like =aesun$ had done, #ut ! didn%t have enou$h stealth to sneak #ack Hello, !%m ;ust an accident 'aitin$ to happen So, #ein$ the complete $enius that ! 'as, ! decided to use my #rilliant idea to ;ust sit ti$ht and stare intently at my co""ee paper cup as i" it 'as the most "ascinatin$ thin$ in the 'orld

B =id ! mention that I K times out o" /P, my #rilliant ideas "ail1 Sure, the co""ee shop 'as ;ammed pack 'ith do)ens o" couples makin$ $ooF$oo eyes at one another, #ut Hee;in could easily have taken her super mature and prissy drink to $o But, no, her Q%U sel" "ound its 'ay to'ards my ta#le and stood in "ront o" it "or 4 'hole minutes &hen there 'as me, pretendin$ that ! didn%t see her, 'hile ! stared at my cup o" co""ee 2lthou$h ! did learn that the cup 'as made "rom /PJ recycled material She didn%t even say anythin$ #e"ore ploppin$ hersel" do'n in "ront o" me =id karma hate me that much1 ! .2S 2 <OO= LE(SO5, =2EE!& (ead the a#ove list "or proo", please Even the la's o" ancient Buddhist teachin$s 'ere "ailin$ me today ! "inally looked up and noticed that she too 'as lookin$ around the co""ee shop 'ith the same look o" distaste at the couples ! had on earlier 2"ter a "e' moments o" complete silence and the #oth o" us not ackno'led$in$ one another *me #ecause it 'as out o" "ear, and Hee;in #ecause o" disinterest1+, ! decided to say something .hy are you sittin$ here1 ! asked, tentatively, 'hen she stopped lookin$ around the co""ee shop &entatively #ecause she has one hard kick and could easily stalk me do'n i" ! decided to run a'ay "rom the country She took a sip o" her drink and continued to look around the co""ee shop as i" she hadn%t heard me ! tried to #e patient ! really did ,ahA .hy areR &here%s no'here else to sit, she said, $esturin$ to the "ull ta#les surroundin$ us .hy, yes, thank you "or pointin$ out the o#vious, Hee;inFah So1 &ake it to $o1 =on%t you have school1 =oesn%t your mother care a#out you1 =o you not 'ant a "uture1 =o you 'ant to live on the side o" the street 'hen you%re 4P years old1 Huh1 ! asked, in a may#e, too over reactive tone 2ctually, !%m surprised ! 'as lecturin$ her #ecause o" the cra)y "ear ! had "or her She looked at me 'ith an expression that read: .hy did ! decide to sit at a ta#le 'ith a $irl 'ho%s cra)y1 Ey class has the day o"", she said in a normal voice, completely i$norin$ my out#urst Ey teacher loves Talentine%s =ay, so she $ave everyone the day o"" so that 'e could spend it 'ith our loved ones or @hu##ies%, as she likes to say

Oh, 'as my simple reply &ry to act normal, Cim ,uri 2 ten year old is currently lookin$ saner than you 5ot ;ust any /P year old, eitherA &he same /P year old that kicked you, is stalkin$ a #oy that%s /P years older than her 25= drinks co""ee .o', you%re pathetic, Cim ,uri L2&HE&!C Ey inner voice is really mean, !%ve noticed .hy are you here1 ! thou$ht you had a #oy"riend, she said, 'ithout lookin$ up "rom our co""ee ! 'as a #it taken #ack !%m not used to this nonF;ealous, normal voice level and sane Hee;in sittin$ in "ront o" me 5onetheless, ! tried my #est to ans'er her ! doRerr, ! didR'ell, you kno'RHE,A HO. =O ,OD C5O. ! H2TE 2 BO,-(!E5=1 ! yelled out 2re you stalkin$ me, too1 <od, ! spa) a lot She $ave me that same look a$ain, #ut this time it 'as paired 'ith pity Calm do'nA ,ou are an adult, and you%re not actin$ like it, she said 'ith dis#elie" .hy 'ould ! stalk you1 &aeyan$ oppa mentioned it Oh ! need to learn to think #e"ore talkin$ .here is he1 she asked .here%s 'ho1 <od, you really are stupidA ! don%t kno' 'hy =aesun$ oppa 'anted to kiss youA she crossed her arms in annoyance ,our boyfriendA Oh ! let the 'hole @you%re stupid% comment pass #ecause ! kind o" like nonF;ealous and sane Hee;in *even thou$h she 'as a #it mean and #itter+ #ecause she 'asn%t causin$ me any #odily harm .ell, it%s a lon$ storyRactually, noR#ut, 'e%re on a #reakR#ut, not reallyRyeah, that%s 'hat happened, ! said, thinkin$ that ! made all the sense in the 'orld She $ave me the same look So you don%t have a #oy"riend1 ! doA .e had a #it o" a "i$ht and 'e%re on a small #reak, ! said in a 6uiet voice

2#out 'hat1 .hy the sudden interest in my horri#le love li"e, Lark Hee;in1 .ell, 'e "ou$ht a#outB ! suddenly stopped Oh, 'o' .hat 'as our "i$ht a#out1 !t 'as so lon$ a$o B Oh my $od, you actually don%t remem#er 'hat you and your #oy"riend "ou$ht a#out1 she asked in total surprise ,ou really are stupid ! made a "ace at her .hen ! said ! had a #ad memory, ! meant itA &he thin$ is, 9iyon$ and ! have #een in this "i$ht or #reak, or 'hatever you 'ant to call it, "or 'ell over a month no', and you $et so consumed and cau$ht up 'ith "eelin$s and emotions that you ;ust don%t remem#er 'hy you "elt this 'ay in the "irst place ! #e$an to "lip throu$h the pa$es o" the note#ook in "ront o" me, and "ound one o" the last entries HahA &here it is, that%s 'hy 'e%re on a #reak, ! pointed to the 9anuary entry and Hee;in leaned over to read the short entry, 'hile ! $ave her a short account o" that day ,anuary 5$ .003 Jiyongs so stupid. Couldnt even wake me up for a stupid scene in a movie. "mall fight, but &m sure its nothing & was in a field with tall blades of grass scratching my bare legs. & was wearing a pretty pink summer dress and & was skipping happily through the field. &n the distance & saw something shiny and & felt a surge of eIcitement rush through me. & .uickly ran towards the brightness. G%uri@ah.C & looked around to hear who was calling me. &t sounded like it came from the sky, but there was no one around me or above. 'he only thing & could see was grass, an endless amount of trees and a clear blue sky. & ignored the sound and continued walking in the direction of the shiny obBect. 7s & got closer, & reali)ed that this obBect was massive and that there was someone inside it. G*ake up.C 'hat voice again. &t was strange because the voice sounded so familiar and yet & couldnt figure out who it was. & ignored it again, and hesitantly walked towards the obBect. &t was a large golden cage, and someone wearing all black was in it. & couldnt recogni)e the person because their back was against me, but & could hear him growling. &m usually not brave, but something made me reach out and touch him in between the bars.

'he second my hand went past the barrier, the person .uickly turned around and grabbed hold of my left hand. & gasped when & saw his appearance. &t was Jiyong. 6e looked almost animal@like with his long and messy hair. 6e snarled at me and he had my hand in a death grip. GJiyong@ah, be a good boy and let go,C & said softly. Aor some reason, & wasnt scared of this half animal and half human Jiyong in front of me. & felt the opposite. & knew that even though he had eItremely sharp teeth and was ten times stronger than me, he wouldnt hurt me. G>im %uri, wake up.C 'hat voice. &t dawned on me that it was Jiyongs voice, but he was in front of me and all he was doing was snarling and drooling. *here was this voice coming from, &, suddenly, felt someone nudge me on the shoulder, but there was no one but me and Jiyong in this massive grass field. 7nother invisible nudge came, but it was harder. 'he sky suddenly became dark and a full moon appeared. 'he grass started to turn pink, Jiyong began to whimper, and it felt like the world was starting to move. 'he last thing & saw before the ground swallowed me up was Jiyongs confused and sad face. & opened my eyes. G7re you okay,C & looked up and Jiyongs concerned face hovered over mine. & blinked and reali)ed that & was in Jiyongs living room with my head in his lap, G&ve been calling out your name and poking your shoulder for the past 1 minutes,C Jiyong said, as & sat right side up again. G%oure a really deep sleeper.C G6mm, & had a weird dream,C & murmured, as & rubbed my eyes, but & immediately opened them when a thought occurred to me. G%ou didnt wake me up during the one scene<C 6e rolled his eyes at me. G& did< =ut you wouldnt wake up.C & frowned. G%ou shouldve tried harder.C & saw him roll his eyes at me, again. G*e can Bust rewind to that part if you want,C he suggested, as he went to pick up the remote, but & stopped him. G&ts not the same. %ou have to see the entire movie and actually feel the buildup to appreciate the scene,C & sighed. G%ah< %ou shouldnt have let me sleep, at all.C G3mo, why are you so difficult,C he murmured.

G%ah, >won Jiyong< %oure right beside me, & can hear you<C & crossed my arms with a pout. G*ell, its true,C he grumbled and he turned away from me and crossed his arms, as well. (od, we looked like two O year olds arguing. G%ou frustrate me so much, sometimes,C he said, not bothering to turn around to face me. G>won Jiyong, do you have a death wish, &m one of the most easiest people to get along with,C & argued, more so at the giant green plant in front of me because there was no way & was going to turn around first. G7re you serious, %oure so hard to please, and youre so picky about everything and sometimes, & think youre completely insane,C G& think you do have a death wish,C & said, but & did have a bit of hesitance in my tone. G-o, since were talking about this, & might as well let everything out,C Jiyong said. &t seemed like he had been preparing to say this for awhile. G& mean, & care about you a lot, you know that, but sometimes you can be so insincere about some things.C G&-"&-C989,C & asked in outrage. G6ow am & insincere, 6ave you forgotten my one year anniversary gift to you, 'hat had to be the most sincere gift ever.C G%eah, the pink boI was really sincere,C he muttered. G%ah< 'here was no other colour left, and its not the boI that mattered, its what inside that was sincere,C & retorted. %eesh, and he said he liked the pink boI, too. G%ou have a lot of nerve saying that Im insincere, /r. 7lways@(oing@3ff@*ith@'aeyang@to@ 8andom@Clubs@and@5arties@to@/eet@6ot@and@(orgeous@*omen,C & retorted, but still staring at the plant in front of me. G%ah, >im %uri< %ou know those clubs and parties are good for getting connections,C he said. & felt him slightly move behind me, but he didnt fully look at me. G4gh, whatever,C & said, resorting to childish replies. & started to get up from the couch, not wanting to hear whatever else Jiyong had to say. G&m going home.C G%ou know this is really stupid, right,C & stopped and turned around. Jiyong was now facing me and & really couldnt, for the life of me, read his eIpression. & shrugged, and turned back around to slip my coat back on. 6e didnt say anything as & walked out the door, and & didnt look back.

! looked up "rom the entry 2nd B that%s 'hy 'e%re on a #reak, ! said, in a voice that sounded as i" ! had ;ust heard this story "or the "irst time, and not ;ust told it to someone ,ou don%t have a #oy"riend on Talentine%s =ay #ecause he didn%t 'ake you up durin$ a particular scene in a movie1 Hee;in asked in dis#elie" .ell, i" she said it like that B ! $uess B sort o"1 B &hat is the stupidest thin$ ! have ever heard, Hee;in said #luntly .ho did this /P year old think she 'as1 ,ahA .hat 'ould you kno' a#out love and relationships, huh1 ,ou%re only /PA Oh, so you love him, no'1 Hee;in asked, suddenly very interested once a$ain Sh it 5o, ! 'as ;ust usin$ it as an example as to 'hat /P years should not kno', ! said, althou$h it 'as completely unconvincin$ ,ou love him, Hee;in repeated 5o, ! don%t, ! said "irmly ! don%t even kno' 'hat love really is, and since ! don%t kno', you de"initely should not .hat the hell1 !%m ar$uin$ 'ith a /P year old a#out 'hether or not ! loved my @#oy"riend% ! have 7 older sisters 'ho%ve $one throu$h a million relationships and do you kno' 'ho they come cryin$ to 'hen they $et their hearts #roken1 she asked, and pointed to hersel", ;ust in case ! 'as too stupid to not kno' the ans'er ! kno' love ! hu""ed .hy had ! ;ust "elt the need to tell my pro#lems to this scary little /P year old1 ! don%t kno' Talentine%s =ay has a cra)y e""ect on people like me 2lone on Talentine%s =ay #ecause he didn%t 'ake you up, Hee;in suddenly said in a sin$Falon$ voice !t%s a #it pathetic ! narro'ed my eyes at her ,ou kno', it%s not ;ust the "act that he didn%tFF

5OO52A .H, =O5%& ,OD L!CC DL ,OD( LHO5E1 Be"ore ! could even "inish my sentence, a deran$ed lookin$ Seun$ri had #ar$ed throu$h the "ront doors and 'as runnin$ to'ards my direction .hat%s 'ron$ 'ith you1 ! asked, as ! took in his appearance His hair 'as all over the place, there 'as sno' all over his neatly pressed pants and 'ool coat, and he 'as #reathin$ hard Seun$ri put up a hand si$nalin$ to $ive him a minute so that he could catch his #reath and style his hair properly ! 'as a#out to say somethin$ to Hee;in, #ut she 'as practically $a'kin$ at Seun$ri ! rolled my eyes =id this $irl have a crush on every #oy that she met1 2 thou$ht suddenly occurred to me Hey, did you #rin$ me cupcakes1 ! asked hope"ully, lookin$ around him to see i" he had a pretty pink #ox "illed 'ith cupcakes "or me Seun$ri made a "ace at me once he had re$ained his #reathin$ .hat are you talkin$ a#out1 !" anythin$ you should have made me cupcakesA Ouch 5o #oy"riend to spend Talentine%s =ay 'ith and no cupcakes 3ee Seun$ri, you really kno' ho' to make a $irl "eel special on Talentine%s =ay So, 'hy are you here1 ! asked in a disappointed tone ! have a reason to #eA ,ah, ! should #e askin$ you thatA !%ve #een tryin$ to call you "or an hour and all ! $et is your voice mailA Oh, really1 ! looked do'n at my phone and sure enou$h it read: /8 E!SSE= C233S -(OE 3EE SED5<(! X 44 D5(E2= EESS2<ES -(OE 3EE SED5<(! ! scrolled throu$h some o" the messa$es Some o" them 'ere calm and mello' such as: 5oonaA Call me #ack 'hen you see thisA &hen there 'ere others that 'ere ;ust plain cra)y: 5OO52A L!CC DL ,OD( LHO5E1 H2S SOEEO5E C!=52LLE= ,OD 25= !S CD((E5&3, SE33!5< ,OD !5 &HE B32CC E2(CE&1 Oops1 Sorry, ! decided to start o"" my entire day 'ith a #out o" depression and len$thy trips do'n memory lane, and then Hee;inR Oh, you%re cuteA Hee;in s6uealed, #e"ore ! even "inished my sentence She #e$an to look Seun$ri up and do'n in a very appreciative manner Drm B Seun$ri 6uickly turned around, #ut that 'asn%t a $ood idea either #ecause Hee;in $ave

out a loud s6ueal at seein$ Seun$ri%s #ackside 5oonaA he 'hispered HE3L EE1 &his, de"initely, $oes a$ainst my 'hole #ein$ a $ood person thin$, #ut this situation 'as "unny ,ou have to admit Hee;in, this /P year old $irl, 'as $a'kin$ at Seun$ri%s #ehind and not even hidin$ it, and then there 'as Seun$ri 'ho 'as s6uirmin$ Oh, 'o' ! $uess ! kno' 'hy #ad thin$s happen to me, no' &o put Seun$ri out o" his misery, ! cautiously asked Hee;in i" Seun$ri and ! could possi#ly have a minute or t'o alone O" course, she sco'led at me, #ut said to Seun$ri, Bye Seun$riFoppaA in a very childish and hi$h voice She "lounced over to a vacant ta#le that a couple had ;ust le"t ,ou%d think that a"ter havin$ a nice little heart to heart conversation 'ith someone, it 'ould eliminate any animosity or "ear you have to'ards that person, #ut no ! still "elt $oose#umps 'hen she $ave me that $lare, and Seun$ri had ;ust "lipped up his collar and 'as pullin$ his coat ti$hter around him !sn%t that the $irl that kicked you1 25= you%re scared to death o"1 Seun$ri asked, tryin$ not to look in Hee;in%s direction #ecause she 'as starin$ intently at him .hy are you sittin$ 'ith her1 Ehh, it%s a lon$ story, ! said, not exactly up to tellin$ Seun$ri the entire story !t%s 'eird ho' you can ;ust easily open up to someone you hardly kno' *or in my case, deathly scared o"+ and tell them all the pro#lems in the 'orld that you had So 'hy are you here1 Seun$ri 'as #usy shi"tin$ in his seat #ecause he could still "eel Hee;in%s intense $a)e on himR more speci"ically, his #ehind Drm, oh, ! have a $reat Talentine%s =ay event "or youA he said, a"ter movin$ the chair so that Hee;in%s vision 'ould #e #locked #y a random kissin$ couple ! raised an eye#ro' Talentine%s =ay event1 &hat didn%t sound so $reat ! don%t kno' B ! trailed o"" Seun$ri 'asn%t exactly the $reatest carrier o" #rilliant ideas lately See Choi Seun$hyun Oh come on, he pleaded 'ith me and $ave me those #i$, innocent eyes and a pout =o you really 'ant to stay here in this co""ee shop surrounded #y do)ens o" happy couples and a cra)y /P year old1 Llus 'e%re $oin$ to #e late i" you don%t decide, ri$ht no' ! stared at him ! had to admit, he had a point ! hated it 'hen Seun$ri 'as ri$ht 5othin$ could really #e 'orse than the situation ! 'as in, at the moment Seriously, a

Talentine%s =ay alone in a co""ee shop surrounded #y happy couples and a /P year old cra)y $irl in the corner starin$ you do'n really 'asn%t ideal "or someone like me, or anyone "or that matter -ine, ! si$hed !%ll $o, #ut it%d #etter #e 'orth it Seun$ri clapped his hands happily, #ut then he leaned closer to me Dm, can 'e hurry, thou$h1 &hat /P year old is really scarin$ me and ! "eel like she%s undressin$ me 'ith her eyes, 'hich usually !%m okay 'ith, #ut this is a /P year old and ! "eel like !%m takin$ part in somethin$ really ille$al FFFFFFFF Seun$ri had #asically run out o" the co""ee shop to avoid his ne' admirer ! 'as 'alkin$ #ehind Rno, actually, ! 'as runnin$ #ehind him, tryin$ to keep up Seun$ri moves, ridiculously, "ast 'hen he $ets scared Seun$riA .here are 'e $oin$1 .hat kind o" Talentine%s =ay event is this1 !s it some kind o" #lind date thin$, #ecause ! think 'e all kno' you "ail at matchROELHA He had decided to stop dead in his tracks ;ust 'hen ! 'as in the middle o" my rant, 'hich o#viously made me 'alk directly into him .ith our hei$ht di""erences, this made me smack my "orehead a$ainst his extremely hard shoulder ,ahA ! cried out, 'hile ru##in$ my "orehead .here are you takin$ me1 He smiled and pointed at the si$n on the #uildin$ 'e had stopped in "ront o" ! could "eel a hu$e #ump "ormin$ on my "orehead already 2ish, this #etter #e 'orth theROHE,<O=, 5OA ! 'as shocked 5o EO(&!-!E= 'as a #etter 'ord 3et%s $o, ! si$ned you up and everythin$, he said happily, completely o#livious to my reaction ,ou%re a $ood "riend, Seun$ri, #ut 'hen a $irl has a "ace like this, it means that she%s not happy and that you should pro#a#ly start runnin$ in the opposite direction 5OA !%m not $oin$ into, ! looked up at the lar$e red si$n 'ith pink hearts decorated around it, Eiss 3a3a%s Special Talentine%s =ay Speed =atin$ ServiceA Eiss 3a3a needed to $o #ack to advertisin$ school #ecause that name 'as a mouth"ul ! stood there 'ith my "eet $rounded, my arms crossed and a de"iant look on my "ace 5o 'ay 'as ! settin$ "oot into a speed datin$ service

Seun$ri $ave me his look ,es, he has a si$nature look &his look is "or 'hen you%re actin$ all stupid and childish *i e like me ri$ht no'+ and it consisted o" his mouth #ein$ set in a deep "ro'n, and his eyes $larin$ at you Dsually !%d $et a #it intimidated *yes, ! kno' that he%s 4 years youn$er than me, #ut stillA ,ou%re talkin$ to the person 'ho%s scared o" a ten year old $irl, hereA+, #ut ! stood my $round and stared ri$ht #ack at him His tilted his head a #it ! kept starin$, not even #linkin$ He crossed his arms, as i" tellin$ me that he could stand here all day i" he had to !t must%ve #een a "e' minutes o" this stupid starin$ contest, #ecause Seun$ri si$hed heavily and pulled on my arm and #e$an 'alkin$ to'ards the entrance ,2HA 3EE SED5<(!A 3E& <O 5O.A StopRomphR#ein$Rsuch a #a#yA he pulled me alon$, 'hile narro'ly missin$ a kick "rom me .hat can ! say1 ! $et a #it violent, sometimes ! s'ear he, literally, pulled and dra$$ed me in like a child Come onA Could you #lame me1 Speed datin$ 'as seen as 'hat only desperate and sad people do 2nd clearly, that 'as me today !%m so $lad you see me in that li$ht, 3ee Seun$ri -or such a skinny #oy, he 'as stron$ Once 'e $ot in, all the people inside the moderately si)ed room 'ere starin$ at us Lro#a#ly #ecause Seun$ri had dra$$ed me in here #y the arms and ! 'as yellin$ and screamin$ at him 5othin$ to see here, nothin$ at all, she%s ;ust excited to #e hereA Seun$ri said to the cro'd, as he $ave me one last pull Everyone 'ent #ack to their normal activities once they heard Seun$ri%s lame excuse 2"ter pullin$ me in "ar enou$h into the room so that ! 'ouldn%t #e a#le to escape outside he started talkin$ 5oonaA ! already paid the re$istration "ee "or you, so you have to stayA &here%s a hu$e penalty "ee i" you don%t $o throu$h 'ith thisA he said to me, as he dra$$ed me over to a ta#le &H!S !S SLEE= =2&!5<A =O ,OD C5O. HO. =ESLE(2&E &H!S E2CES EE 3OOC1 ! asked 'hilst "lailin$ my arms !t%s not ;ust "or desperate peopleA !%m doin$ itA he pointed to himsel" .as that really supposed to make me "eel #etter1

Okay, "ine, may#e not the #est reassurance, #ut there%s no one here that you kno', any'ays, and it%ll #e an interestin$ experience, he said, tryin$ incredi#ly hard to make me not cause a scene and run ! $ave him an unconvinced look 9ust try it out "or one round1 he pleaded, and he $ave me another one o" his "amous pouts ! si$hed !%m so pathetic that ! can%t even say no to a /0 year old -!5E, ! "inally said, ;ust one round, thou$h He $ave me a hu$e smile and handed me a sheet o" in"ormation ! already "illed out your in"ormation sheet, so all you have to do is $o to your ta#le and 'ait ! looked do'n at the sheet and read it over !t 'as "illed 'ith #asic *name, a$e, sexuality, si$n+ and random *!" you 'ere a piece o" toast 'ould you rather #e -rench toast or #urnt toast1+ 6uestions ! 6uickly scanned them and 'as actually surprised that Seun$ri had $otten most o" the 6uestions ri$ht 2lthou$h, there 'as one 6uestion that didn%t exactly suit me Ey "avourite 6uote isn%t: &f you live to be 0 , & want to live to be a 0 minus one day, so & never have to live without youA &hat%s so lame, and somethin$ ,OD 'ould like, !t is really me, isn%t it1 !t%s cute, thou$hA <uys like cutenessA he said, #ut once he sa' my "ace he a#ruptly chan$ed his mind -ine, ho' a#out: +iving is easy with your eyes closed1 =o you memori)e 6uotes in your spare time alon$ 'ith colour codin$ your 'ardro#e1 ! asked in surprise 2nd you%re makin$ me sound like a very pessimistic and sad personA He tilted his head and raised an eye#ro' at me Oh, ri$ht ! 'as one 3ee Seun$ri kno's me too 'ell -ine ! am, #utRheyA .hy is he here1 ! asked 'hen ! sa' a "amiliar person in the #ack$round talkin$ to a pretty $irl Oh, &OL1 Seun$ri $ave me a nervous lau$h that 'as #ecomin$ all too common "or him, lately .hat%s heRyouR'hyR ! started to point at Seun$ri and then my other hand pointed at Seun$hyun, and thin$s 'ere startin$ to slo'ly make sense 3EE SED5<(!A ! yelled out, #ut Seun$ri 'as already on the opposite side o" the room ! 6uickly tried to return to my normal composure, #ecause "or the second time the people in the room 'ere $ivin$ me stran$e looks 2lthou$h, ! really shouldn%t have tried to look sane #ecause

i" the hosts kne' that a cra)y and murderous/I year old $irl 'as in their presence they 'ould kick me out and ! 'ouldn%t have to $o throu$h this ordeal 9ust as ! 'as a#out to scream out Seun$ri%s 'ay o" death across the room, ! sa' someone enter throu$h the door Hee;in1 B S&OL H2D5&!5< EE =o ! need to start volunteerin$ at the "ood #ank every 'eek1 (escue three lost puppies a month1 <o to 2"rica and #uild houses "or poor and starvin$ "amilies1 9oin the nunnery1 &ell me, and !%ll do itA &E33 EE, &E33 EE, &F&F&F&E33 EEA B !%m sorry ! tend to do random son$ re"erences 'hen ! start $oin$ cra)y 3ike no', "or example ! 'alked over to Hee;in *Seun$ri 'as TE(, lucky+ 'hile she #e$an "illin$ out an introduction "orm .hy are you here, no'1 2$ain, ! asked tentatively #ecauseR'ell, !%m scared o" her Speed datin$, she said in a matter o" "act voice, 'ithout even lookin$ up "rom the "orm 2nd, Seun$riFoppa is here, too !sn%t there some kind o" a$e limit to this type o" stu""1 ! said 2nd don%t you think you should start "indin$ #oys, ! don%t kno', your o'n a$e1 .hen did ! $et so #rave1 ! 'as pretty much settin$ up my o'n death #y askin$ her that 6uestion But #e"ore Hee;in could say anythin$, a #oy no older than /4 'ith pants up to his knees came rushin$ at Hee;in Oh, mamiA ,ou are lookin% "ineFoFlicious, ! could eat yo "ine sel" up, ya heard1 .hat chu doin$ hea1 Ey ma%s arran$in% this 'hole shi) heaA .hat ya doin1 ,ou don need to "ill out no re$ "eeA !t%s on meh, ok1 .hat the hell did he ;ust say1 ! may have #een completely con"used at this ne' lan$ua$e, #ut Hee;in seemed to have understood everythin$ per"ectly .hat does it look like !%m doin$1 2nd no, you don%t have to pay "orR=2ESD5< OLL2A Be"ore Hee;in could even "inish #rushin$ o"" her $an$ster admirer, she had spotted =aesun$ "rom

across the room and ran to'ards him .hat 'as this1 .as Eiss 3a3a%s a $atherin$ "or the desperate, sad, pathetic and alone1 .ell, seein$ as mysel" and Can$ =aesun$ are here, ! $uess it is 9ust as ! 'as a#out to $o and "ind Seun$ri or even "ind an escape route, the lady in "ront o" the room ran$ a #ell that alerted everyone%s attention Oh hello, my lovely and youn$ peopleA ! can "eel the ener$y in the room, and ! can already see that some o" you 'ill end up $ro'in$ old to$etherA She clapped her hands to$ether happily, clearly, excited o" the prospect o" doin$ some serious matchmakin$ in the "orm o" speed datin$ 2s you all kno', !%m Eiss 3a3a, and this is our third annual special speed datin$ serviceA she paused, apparently 'aitin$ "or applause &he cro'd slo'ly #e$an to clap, and Eiss 3a3a $ave all o" us another toothy smile Okay, no', the ladies all have their o'n ta#les and they each have a #ell &he $entlemen 'ill #e movin$ "rom ta#le to ta#le $ettin$ to kno' every one o" you pretty $irls .henever you "eel the special ener$y #et'een the t'o o" you is #ein$ lost, ;ust rin$ the #ell and all the #oys 'ill rotate to the le"t 2lso, you must #rin$ alon$ 'ith you your in"ormation sheet and you 'ill exchan$e it 'ith your partner at each ta#le, Eiss 3a3a explained to the cro'd o" us .hat are you 'aitin$ "or1 ! 'ant to see lots and lots o" ener$y "lo'in$A 2$ain, the cro'd slo'ly applauded &he $irls #e$an makin$ their 'ay to'ards a ta#le, and !, hesitantly, "ollo'ed ! couldn%t #ut think 'hat 'as ! $ettin$ mysel" into1 FFFFFFF Oh, hFhFhiA !%m Son$ 9uF;uF;un$min, a #oy 'ith coke #ottled $lasses and a #o'l cut held out his shakin$ hand to me ! raised an eye#ro' at his stutterin$ and appearance #ut held my hand out, as 'ell Cim ,uri &he second our hands touched, Son$ 9un$min%s "ace turned red and he $ave me a shaky smile He 6uickly took his hand #ack, and petted it lovin$ly 'ith his other hand Okay1 ! looked do'n at his in"ormation sheet, tryin$ to "i$ure out i" 'e had anythin$ in common Oh, your "avourite "ood is $reen tea ice cream, too1 ! love it so muR SFsFsorry, #F#ut hFhFho' many #oy"F"F"riends hFhave yFyFyou hFhad1 9un$min asked 'ithout lookin$ up "rom his hand .hat 'as 'ith this $uy1

9ust one serious #oy"riend, ! said slo'ly 9un$min 6uickly looked up "rom his hand and $ave me a hu$e, al#eit creepy, smile (FrFrF really1 !, slo'ly, nodded !%ll $F$F$ive yFyou niFninety "F"Five thFthFthousand 'onA he tried to say in a #rave voice, #ut the stutterin$ thre' it o"" a #it Excuse me1 .as this $uy cra)y1 !%m sorry1 ! asked, completely con"used CFCim ,FyFyuriA ,oFyou%re rFrFreally prFpretty, he said, lookin$ #ack do'n at his hand !%m pretty sure he kept lookin$ at it #ecause ! had touched it .hoa .hat1 2re you tryin$ to pay me to Bseriously1 2re you payin$ me to $o out 'ith you1 ! asked, completely shocked His head shot up a$ain and he #e$an to 'ave his hands "rantically 5FnFno, not at allA ! $ave a si$h o" relie" !F! 'F'F'ant yFyou tFto tFtFtake mFmy vFvir$inityA B 3CS9=-3C9S3E5C3S=E" ,eah, that%s 'hat 'ent throu$h my head 2 lot o" incoherent thou$hts "ollo'ed #y incoherent sounds accompanied 'ith some spit 2nd !%m pretty sure ! "lailed my arms a #it ,FyFyou%re rFreally pFpFpretty, and ! 'F'F'ant tFto $F$ive my "F"lo'er tFtFto sFsomeone pFpFpretty lFlFlike yFyouA he said nervously 'hen ! had stopped "lailin$ my arms lEC3SC=9-SC39= 2$ain 'ith the incoherency !F!%m thFthe heir to a rFrFreally #F#F#i$ cFcFcompany, he said, as i" that explained everythin$ and 'ould make me ;ump into the sack 'ith him !ByouBsee B ! looked at the #ell 8&-(. 5ext1 FFFFFFF

Y,our ideal man is =aniel Henney1Y Y,our ideal 'oman is Beyonce1Y Y,ou kno' that youVll never ever "ind a man like him, ri$ht1Y ! $aped at him Choi Seun$hyun, you are a kill;oy Y.ell, youVll never "ind anyone like Beyonce Y Y,ou kno' that youVre ;ust repeatin$ everythin$ !Vm sayin$1 BShut upA ! 'as a#out to place my hand on the #ell 'hen he stopped me ! $ave him my very #est $lare, #ut 'e all kno' it doesn%t seem to 'ork on him =on%t rin$ it so soonA ,ou didn%t even let me say anythin$ 2'A Choi Seun$hyun, are you $ro'in$ so attached to me that you can%t #ear "or me to rin$ that #ell1 ! asked 'ith a #ri$ht smile He $ave me a dis$usted look ,ah, Cim ,uri, you think too much o" yoursel" Seun$ri is 'atchin$ us like a ha'k ! turned to the le"t and noticed that Seun$ri 'as talkin$ to the same $irl Seun$hyun 'as talkin$ to 'hen ! "irst 'alked in She 'as really pretty 'ith her super strai$ht #lack hair and almond shaped eyes, #ut Seun$ri 'asn%t payin$ attention to any o" that !n "act, he 'as starin$ at my ta#le, and 'as $ivin$ Seun$hyun a thum#s up si$n He 'as such a loser ! turned to look #ack at Seun$hyun and $ave him a suspicious look Say, ! kno' that you don%t like me, #ut 'hy do you insist on comin$ to meet me every time Seun$ri tells you to1 !t 'as really suspicious stu"" 2nd #y the 'ay Seun$hyun 'as suddenly actin$, ! 'as suddenly very interested as to 'hy Seun$hyun al'ays kept comin$ (i$ht a"ter ! had said those 'ords, his eyes 'idened and he #e$an to shi"t uncom"orta#ly in his seat ! raised an eye#ro' at his #ehavior .hat1 ! B like you, he said, #ut the 'ord @like% sounded like someone had to torture him "or him to say it Choi Seun$hyun, do ! look like an idiot to you1 ! said He looked at me and ;ud$in$ #y his "ace he 'as torn #et'een tellin$ the truth or a lie ! think he

kne' that ho'ever he ans'ered the 6uestion? somethin$ #ad 'as $oin$ to happen to him .ell, you seeR!R he stopped talkin$ and suddenly looked at the #ell Oh, Choi Seun$hyun, you think you%re so clever (i$ht #e"ore, his hand landed on top o" the #ell, ! $ra##ed his hand 'ith #oth o" mine and tried to "orce it a'ay "rom the #ell Bein$ the smart person ! 'as, ! didn%t reali)e that he could still use his "ree hand 'hile ! 'as #usy 'ith #oth o" my hands tryin$ to prevent his le"t arm "rom touchin$ the #ell 2(<HA CHO! SED5<H,D5A ! cried out, as ! tried to "orce him to sit #ack do'n, 'ith each o" my hands on his arms Seein$ as he 'as taller and stron$er than ! 'as, it 'asn%t really 'orkin$ out 2t this point, 'e #oth 'ere standin$ and $ra##in$ onto one another and none o" us 'anted to #ack do'n EWCDSE EEA came a very shrill and hi$h pitched sound &he #oth o" us turned and sa' Eiss 3a3a runnin$ in our $eneral direction &his is a L< rated environmentA ! can "eel the ener$y #et'een you t'o is very thrillin$ and intense, #ut this is not the place to expel that ener$yA !" you like thin$s so rou$h, Eiss 3a3a o""ers special hotel promotions at the Lalasad Hotel i" you%re interestedA ! even have special theme ni$htsA our hostess said 'ith a #ri$ht and shinin$ smile, clearly happy that she "ound such a match that expelled such $reat ener$y to'ards one another Once Eiss 3a3a%s comment sunk in, ! 6uickly released Seun$hyun "rom my $rasp and raised my hands up in surrender Everyone 'as lookin$ at us, no' Seun$ri especially looked happy D$h ! think you have the 'ron$ idea B ! mean, me and him1 5o 5o 'ay =e"initely not 5ETE( ETE(, ! said, "inally stoppin$ a"ter ! couldn%t think o" any other synonyms "or the 'ords @never in a million years% Eiss 3a3a raised an eye#ro' at me Okay, 'hatever you say 3adies and $entlemenA ,ou may $o #ack to your min$lin$ and connectin$ She dismissed me and Seun$hyun 'ith a sli$ht 'ave and 'ent #ack to'ards the "ront Seun$hyun and ! stared at one another 2'k'ard, much1 .ell, that 'as really distR 8&-(<

=2EE!&A HE (25< &HE BE33 Sorry ,uri, you%re ;ust too "or'ard "or my likin$, he said 'ith a cheeky smile Be"ore ! even had the chance to $ra# him #y his shirt sleeve, he had already run to the next ta#le FFFFF .hat are you1 &'elve1 ! stared at the same #oy 'ho 'as hittin$ on Hee;in ;ust hal" an hour a$o He 'as 'earin$ an outra$eously lar$e ;ean ;acket that seemed to have s'allo'ed him 'hole, #a$$y ;eans so lo' that ! could see the patterns o" his #oxers *#lue hearts "or Talentine%s =ay1+ He 'as $ivin$ me his #est $an$ster pout and trust me, it 'asn%t intimidatin$, i" anythin$, it 'as cute Sort o" Eissus, !%m .hippy=oA ! don%t 'ant you "rontin% your "ine sel" all up in hea ;ust #ecause o" mah di$its, you "eel me1 2$e ain%t nothin% #ut a num#er, an% the only thin$ that mattas is 'hat%s "illed up in yo no$$in, -or$et Corean drama hand#ook, ! need an ur#an dictionary translator =id you ;ust say somethin$ a#out an e$$no$ recipe1 ! asked Sue me, ! "ail in lan$ua$es He rolled his eyes at me Oh heeeeeell nah, this is 'hy ! don%t han$ 'ith the lady noonas cause they don%t kno's 'hat%s happeninA ! like em peachy and youn$, ma sistaA 3ike a "reshly s6uee)ed oran$e drink on a mi$hty hot day Okay, ! heard sisters, oran$es and peach1 !" 'e put them to$ether B does somethin$ that makes sense result1 &hat%s 'hy ma roni is Hee;in over thereA he pointed at Hee;in, 'ho 'as sittin$ 4 ta#les a'ay "rom his and she 'as talkin$ to a #oy 'ith ti$ht leather pants and outra$eous eye makeFup She%s mint .as he comparin$ her to mint1 .as that the latest cra)e in the hip hop 'orld1 Comparin$ your $irl"riends to "ood products1 2nd all this time ! thou$ht 9iyon$ 'as cra)y "or callin$ me #olo$na, #ut in reality, he 'as ;ust "ollo'in$ some cra)y trend1 Dh, yeah, ! think you%re 'ay too youn$ "or me ! mean, no o""ense #utR -o sho, #a#y 5o hard "eelin$s, kno' 'hat ! mean1 Hee;in is mint, so !%m "eelin her more than you .hereas you%re ;ust a ta""y, all sticky and 'rinkled, ya kno'1 Eint is clean and "resh, and ta""y ain%t, he smirked at me and raised an arm up

Okay, ! may not understand ur#an speak, #ut did this #oy ;ust call me 'rinkled1 &hat%s li"e, yo -irst you%re #u##le $um, all innocent and cra)y, then you turn mint and then you start #ecomin$ a piece o%ta""y, like you, and it ain%t coo, he said, as i" he 'as tellin$ me the "acts o" li"e .ord up, #ut i" you 'anna teach me some o" yo candy makin #i), holla, aii$ht1 he said and he started to lau$h manically ! lau$hed alon$ 'ith him "or 4 seconds #e"ore rin$in$ the #ell and $ivin$ him a "ro'n Sorry, .hippydo, #ut this piece o" ta""y isn%t tellin$ you any o" her secret candy makin$ #i) FFFFF Can$ =aesun$A ,ou really do need a support $roup, ! told him in my most carin$ voice D$h, you think ! don%t kno' that1 he said, as he ru""led his hair 2nd ! can%t #elieve that shes here, too "he 'as Hee;in, 'ho 'as starin$ intently at =aesun$, even thou$h .hippydo 'as tryin$ his hardest to charm her #ecause she 'as so mint and not ta""yFlike at all like me ! thou$ht you 'ere $ettin$ attached to her1 Hmm1 5ot in that 'ayA <od, Cim ,uriA ,ou%ve only kno'n me "or a "e' 'eeks and you think !%m some kind o" pedophile1 he asked, clearly shocked and o""ended ! shru$$ed Hey, i" Eunyoun$ can like a /Q year old, then 'hat%s stoppin$ =aesun$ "rom likin$ this /P year old1 B .o', ! need ne' "riends !%m han$in$ out 'ith perverted noonas and dirty perverts ,ahA !%m not like thatA he cried out, as i" he could read my mind ! shru$$ed a$ain .ait, 'hy are you here1 he pointed at me, as i" this 'as the last place he 'ould ever expect to "ind me ! pointed at Seun$ri 'ho 'as currently talkin$ to a #londe haired $irl 'ith the #ri$htest #lue eyes ! had ever seen ! think Seun$ri 'as tryin$ to say somethin$ to her in En$lish #ecause he kept pullin$ out his En$lish pocket dictionary He dra$$ed me here Oh, he said, lookin$ over at their ta#le .hy1 !t%s a lon$, sad and pathetic story, ! replied ,ou don%t 'ant to hear it ! don%t $et it, 'e are t'o semi $ood lookin$RokayA !n your case very $ood lookin$, he corrected himsel" a"ter seein$ my dirty look 'hen he said his impromptu comment, 'hy did 'e

lo'er ourselves to speed datin$1 ! 'as "orced here, ! reminded him, you came here #y your o'n "ree'ill &hanks "or ru##in$ salt on the 'ound, Cim ,uri, he said 'ith a si$h Can$ =aesun$, you need to #ecome more secure 'ith yoursel", ! told him ! amA !%m actually surprised that he 'as lettin$ me say "ull sentences, this time 5o, you%re not, ! #e$an, you%re dependin$ on a /P year old to "eel con"ident, ri$ht no', and that%s not normal ! don%t think it%s depFF &rust me, you%re dependin$ on her D(<H, he cried out, seriously messin$ up his hair 'ith #oth hands no' .hy am ! so horri#le at relationships1 ,ou%re not horri#le, it%s the $irls you $o out 'ith that are horri#le, ! tried to reassure him 2m ! not slim enou$h1 =o ! need to $et an ei$ht pack1 2re my arms not per"ect enou$h1 Should ! addR ,ou%re "ine the 'ay you areA Stop puttin$ yoursel" do'nA ! sounded like a motivational speaker Cim ,uri, the motivational speaker "or the lonely and pathetic, at your service ,uri, you%re nice and pretty, may#e 'eFF 5o But, it%sR !t%s Talentine%s =ay, o" course you%re $oin$ to #e actin$ like this ,ou really thinkFF &rust me &'o sad and pathetic people aren%t $oin$ to ;i#e today But, it%s possFF !t%s not ,ou%re insecureFF So are you

Rand you have a /P year old stalker that you depend on to make yoursel" con"identFF 5ot my "ault that !FF Rand the last thin$ you need is someone e6ually lonely and pathetic &here 'as a lon$ silence #et'een us =aesun$ looked up at me 'ith an expression o" acceptance So you really think ! shouldFF ,es, most de"initely Eay#e ! should rin$ the #ell <ood idea 8&-(< FFFFF -emale "ashion is a#solutely $or$eous, a #oy *my a$e, thank $oodness+ in ti$ht ;eans $ushed to me ! mean, you can do so much 'ith it ! si$hed 'ith relie" 3ee 9ihoon actually seemed normal, sli$htly !" 'e i$nored his a#solute "ascination 'ith 'omen%s clothin$ *it%s nice that a #oy can appreciate clothes+, and extremely ti$ht clothin$ *may#e he doesn%t en;oy air #lo'in$ throu$h him 'ith #a$$y clothes+, insane make up skills *he had on the most ama)in$ eye makeup ! had ever seen+, he 'as 6uite a catchA ! like it so much that sometimes ! used to take my past $irl"riend%s lin$erie and hide them in my closet dra'er Dh, 'hat1 ! really appreciate the material used "or under$arments, so ! have a 'hole dra'er at home "illed 'ith 'omen%s lin$erie &he "eel is very di""erent "rom men%s and the smellA Oh, the smell, he said in a dreamy voice =id he ;ust say that he sni""ed 'omen%s under'ear1 B 8&-( 5ext, please1 FFFFF ! hate you, 'ere the "irst 'ords ! said 'hen Seun$ri sat in the seat in "ront o" me ! love you, too, he said sarcastically

! can%t #elieve you dra$$ed me here HeyA &here are lots o" $ood people around hereA ! even $ot that #londe $irl%s num#er, althou$h !%m not sure i" ! told her ! 'as a @manly #east% or ! had @manly #reasts%, the En$lish lan$ua$e is so con"usin$, #ut she $ave me her num#er any'aysA he said cheer"ully, 'avin$ the slip o" paper in "ront o" my "ace ! had hal" the mind to $ra# the paper out o" his hands and rip it to shreds Hah, yeah, all the #oys are really saneA One o" those $uys is pro#a#ly plottin$ to steal my under'ear so that he can sni"" them at his leisure, and another is 'illin$ to pay me IK,PPP .on "or my vir$inity (eally sane #unch, Seun$ri, ! said sarcastically (eally1 5inety "ive thousand 'on1 he asked in surprise ! nodded .hoa, ! didn%t think you 'ould $et that much ,2HA 3EE SED5<(!, !R C!==!5<A C!==!5<A he put his hands up to shield himsel", 'hile ! sat mysel" #ack do'n ! 'as $ettin$ more stran$e looks "rom the people around me Once Seun$ri patted his hair #ack into his proper position and ! resumed my $larin$ he #e$an talkin$ a$ain Oh, come on, !%m sure some o" these $uys aren%t so #adA ! mean, there%s "ive more $uys le"t that you haven%t met1 ! continued to $lare 2nd &OL 'asn%t so #ad, ri$ht1 2$ain 'ith Choi Seun$hyun 2ll 'e did 'as ar$ue, ! said #luntly, and 'hat is it 'ith you and Seun$hyun1 .hat kind o" hold do you have over him1 He clearly doesn%t 'ant anythin$ to do 'ith me, so 'hy does he al'ays ;ump 'hen you snap your "in$ers1 He $ave me a nervous lau$h Oh, noonaA .hat are you talkin$ a#out1 ! meanRhe doesn%t ;umpR'ell, he comesR 8&-(< =a mn -or the "irst time in the day, ! 'as actually unhappy to hear the sound o" that #ell OopsA Sorry noonaA .hen the #ell calls, ! must $o, he said and hurriedly $athered his in"ormation sheet and practically ran to the next ta#le Saved #y the #ell

! 'as so #usy $larin$ at Seun$ri that ! hadn%t noticed that another person had sat in "ront o" me ! turned my $a)e #ack to 'hoever 'as in "ront o" me, and ;umped in my seat &his #oy looked to #e around my a$e, #ut he 'as skeletal His hair 'as ;et #lack and his out"it corresponded 'ith that His eyes 'ere dark and expressionless and his mouth 'as set in a deep "ro'n !%m Sun$ 9ih'an, he said, 'ithout even holdin$ out his hand Dhm, Cim ,uri, 'hy is thatR 5o time to talk ! need a $irl 'ho%s in her late teens, and you look like that a$e &oni$ht, 'e%re $oin$ to the Lalasad Hotel 'here all the socialites and top $overnment o""icials o" Seoul 'ill #e attendin$ a special charity event ! need you to #e my accomplice toni$ht and pretend to #e my lover ! 'ill have to leave you #rie"ly "or "i"teen minutes, and durin$ that time, ! need you to lure the CEO o" W, Company to the #ack and then !%ll handle the rest &he "ate o" the under$round 'orld lies upon me, and you as 'ell, since !%ve chosen you as my accomplice =o you understand1 ! looked at this man 'ith the 'idest eyes in the 'orld ! 'as 'aitin$ "or him to suddenly crack up, smile and say, 9DS& C!==!5<A #ut that didn%t happen His $rim expression remained in place ! $ave him a nervous lau$h Oh, 'ell, Sun$ 9ih'an, !%m really "lattered and all, #utR ! couldn%t even "inish that sentence, #ecause ! ran the hell a'ay "rom that place as "ast as ! could ! could distantly hear Seun$ri yellin$ out 5oonaA at me, #ut there 'as no 'ay ! 'as $oin$ #ack Havin$ that speed datin$ experience 'ith all those cra)y sin$le people made me appreciate that ! had a semiFsane @#oy"riend% Even thou$h he 'as a 6uote #oy"riend 6uote ! don%t think !%ve ever experienced so much cra)y in such a short amount o" time ever in my li"e Ey class still 'asn%t $oin$ to start "or hours, and ! didn%t exactly "eel like 'alkin$ to campus 'here all o" the couples 'ould #e spra'led on the #enches and desks, starin$ lovin$ly at one another 5or did ! 'ant to $o home 'here Dmma 'ould smother me 'ith more Talentine%s =ay treats and 2ppa 'ould #e rappin$ some random rhyme ! "i$ured ! 'as #etter o"" ;ust roamin$ the streets o" Seoul "or a couple o" hours ,ou kno' 'hen you $et so consumed #y your thou$hts that you donVt kno' 'here the time has $one nor do you reali)e 'here your "eet have taken you1 &hatVs exactly 'hat happened to me, #ut ! couldnVt help #ut think ! some'hat kne' 'hat ! 'as doin$ #ecause ! "ound mysel" standin$ in "ront o" the clothin$ store that 9iyon$ 'orked at Stran$e ! al'ays $et lost "indin$ his store, and yet today, unconsciously, ! "ind mysel" standin$ in "ront o" it ! took a step "or'ard and placed a hand on the $lass 'indo' that sho'cased the latest trend in

"ashion *sparkly $old coats and purple skinny ;eans+ ! $rinned to mysel" &he out"it 'as, de"initely, somethin$ that 9iyon$ 'ould 'ear 9iyon$ had #een 'orkin$ at this store "or a#out a year and a hal" no' &he pay 'as crap, it took him IP minutes on the #us to $et to the store, the mana$er 'as an as s and yet, he stayed He said he loved the clothin$ that the place o""ered and the hottest under$round ECs al'ays shopped at his store ! remem#er ar$uin$ 'ith him that he should "ind another ;o# #ecause it 'asn%t 'orth it, #ut he 'aved me o"" sayin$ that it 'as de"initely 'orth it "or him .hile starin$ at the very 9iyon$Fes6ue out"it, ! couldn%t help #ut think o" 'hat Hee;in said to me this mornin$ G%ou dont have a boyfriend on Lalentines $ay because he didnt wake you up during a particular scene in a movie,C G3h, so you love him now,C G& know love.C G'hats a bit pathetic.C !t was pathetic ! never thou$ht a simple "i$ht could spiral into somethin$ like this !n a 'ay, !%m $rate"ul "or that "i$ht #ecause it $ave me the time to re"lect #ack on all the memories !%ve had 'ith 9iyon$ ! also re$ret havin$ that "i$ht #ecause B it%s $iven me time to re"lect #ack on all the memories &hen there 'as Hee;in and her expertise on love Clearly, accordin$ to her ! 'as in love 'ith 9iyon$, #ut 'as ! really1 ! didn%t think ! 'as !sn%t love supposed to #e somethin$ you%re a#solutely sure o"1 &here%s no room "or the 'ords @! think% 'ith love &here%s only @! kno'% in the 'orld o" love ! closed my eyes and pressed my "orehead a$ainst the $lass .hy 'ere thin$s so complicated1 .hen ! opened my eyes a$ain, ! noticed that someone on the other side o" the $lass 'as starin$ intently at me ! ;umped #ack in surprise, thinkin$ that it 'as the scary mana$er that called the police on teens that loitered in "ront o" his store Once ! $ained my composure, ! reali)ed it 'asn%t the mana$er, #ut rather, it 'as 9iyon$ He $ave me a concerned look and mouthed somethin$ to me He, then, disappeared into the thousands o" racks #ehind him Oh, no .hat the hell 'as ! thinkin$1 ! 'as so stupid .hat kind o" person 'anders to their

@#oy"riend%s% place o" 'ork, leans their "orehead a$ainst the display 'indo' and $ets cau$ht #y their @#oy"riend%1 2 (E233, S&DL!= LE(SO5 2nd you%re lookin$ at her ! did the only thin$ ! kne' ! could do ! turned around and started to 'alk Zuickly Eay#e he 'ouldnVt reco$ni)e me &here%s thousands o" $irls in Seoul 'ith lon$ dark hair, 'ore stran$e red hats, carried a lar$e a6ua tote #a$ and a $reen 'inter coat, ri$ht1 Y,uriFahAY =ammit 2pparently not ! 6uickly slipped into an alley'ay thinkin$ that 9iyon$ 'ould never look in here Sometimes people say that you start lookin$ like the person you date, 'ell in my case, ! think !Vve started actin$ like 9iyon$ One year a$o, ! didn%t think ! 'ould ever #e hidin$ in an alley'ay hopin$ that my @#oy"riend% 'ouldn%t "ind me C'on 9iyon$, you%re startin$ to make me lose my mind ! tried to #lend into the 'all, #ut seein$ as the 'all #ehind me 'as a dull $rey colour and ! 'as 'earin$ this army $reen coat and red hat, #lendin$ in 'asn%t really 'orkin$ out, too 'ell Cim ,uri, you are so stupid, ! murmured to mysel" ,eah, ! have to a$ree Ey hidin$ and stealth skills need to improve, drastically ! looked up to the o'ner o" that voice 9iyon$ looked tired standin$ in "ront o" me &he cheer"ul #oy ! had come so accustomed to seein$ 'as no'here in si$ht He didn%t reach out "or me, nor did he $ive me the smile that al'ays made me run #ack to him !t 'as unsettlin$ ,ou kno', you%re a really hard person to $et in contact 'ith, he said, shovin$ one o" his hands into his pockets ,ou 'ere tryin$ to $et in contact 'ith me1 ! couldn%t help #ut "eel my heart #eat a #it "aster He nodded and didn%t say another 'ord ! rumma$ed throu$h my #a$ and pulled out my cell phone Sure enou$h, it said V7 D5(E2=

EESS2<ES -(OE B2BOV ! looked #ack up .hy 'ere you lookin$ "or me1 He si$hed deeply and #e$an ru""lin$ his hair &he same ha#it that meant he 'as nervous, lyin$ or #oth ! didn%t kno' 'hich one ! 'as scared o" more, at the time -or the "irst time, ! noticed that he 'as carryin$ a #a$ 'ith a #ox inside it He spotted my sudden attention to'ards the #a$ and 6uickly moved his arms so that the #a$ 'as #ehind him .hat is that1 ! asked 6uietly ! 'asn%t sure i" ! 'anted to kno' !t%s nothin$, he said 6uickly, tryin$ to do a #etter ;o# at hidin$ the #a$, #ut "ailin$ 3et%s $o some'here else to talk !%m on my #reak ri$ht no' ! stepped in "ront o" him, #e"ore he could make his 'ay out o" the alley'ay 5o, let%s talk here ! don%t kno' 'hy ! had the sudden ur$e to have this talk in a damp and smelly alley'ay versus some'here else, say a park1 ! ;ust "elt that thin$s had to #e settled here and no' Okay, he a$reed, and he took a step #ack His unusual silence and lack o" 'ords 'ere scarin$ me 9iyon$, 'hat is it1 ! "inally said a"ter a moment o" silence ! heard my voice crack, a #it ! B ! don%t kno' ho' to say this, he "inally said So, ! $uess all ! can do is B this He held out the #a$ "or me and hesitantly, ! took it 9iyon$ had his head do'n, re"usin$ to look at me as ! opened the #a$ !t 'as the pink #ox ! had $iven him "or our one year anniversary ! looked #ack at him and he 'as starin$ at me 'ith an unreada#le expression on his "ace ! 'anted to say so many thin$s at this point, such as, .hat is this1 .hy1 ! don%t understand1 But, ! didn%t say any o" those thin$s, #ecause deep do'n, ! think ! kne' the ans'ers ! think it%s time that ! stopped #ein$ sel"ish, he "inally said Sel"ish1 ,ou deserve #etter than this B ronri "oo, he said 'ith a #itters'eet smile C'on 9iyon$, ho' can you ;oke at a time like this1 ! think 'e should "inally end thin$s, completely, he added 'ith a "inal note in his voice Ey expression had not chan$ed since ! laid eyes on the pink #ox ! continued $ivin$ him the

#lank look 5ot #ecause ! 'as a completely cold and heartless $irl, #ut rather it 'as #ecause o" complete shock and surprise &o #e honest, ! didn%t expect this !" 'e%re #ein$ completely honest, ! 'as "ully ready to $o #ack on that roller coaster ride that 9iyon$ and ! called a relationship But, apparently, he 'as not ! could va$uely hear 9iyon$ say some other 'ords, #ut nothin$ sunk in &he only 'ords that ! heard 'ere: ! think 'e should end thin$s, completely, over and over in my head !t 'as over ,uriFah1 2re you okay1 ! heard him say, and ! sa' him reach out "or me, #ut ! took a step #ack !%m B "ine, ! said, clutchin$ the #ox ti$htly in my hands -ine 9iyon$%s arms dropped #ack to his sides and an over'helmin$ silence surrounded us 2"ter 'ho kno's ho' lon$, 9iyon$ spoke Okay, 'ell B ! Bhave to $o #ackR ! $ave him a smile SureA =on%t 'orry a#out meA !%ll #e "ine, $o aheadA (eally1 .as !1 2re you sure1 ,ou don%tFF 9ust $oA !%E -!5EA ! said in a loud voice that 'as extremely out o" character "or me He "linched at my tone ! sa' his hand almost reach out "or my shoulder, #ut he stopped himsel" a$ain 9DS& <OA ! cried out, my hands #e$an to trem#le ! 'as "ine Ey hands 'ere ;ust cold &hat%s 'hy they 'ere trem#lin$ !t seemed like he really 'anted to say somethin$, #ut "rom my reaction, he decided to ;ust leave 9ust like that 5o lookin$ #ack, partin$ 'ords or anythin$ He ;ust le"t ! stood there in that alley'ay holdin$ that pink #ox "or a lon$ time? ;ust starin$ at nothin$ ! mean, 'ho $ets dumped on TalentineVs =ay B in an alley'ay1 O#viously $ood people 'ho visit parrots 'ho only speak three 'ords Carma, you "ailed me today .hatever happened to @'hat $oes around comes around%1 .HE5 !S E, <OO=5ESS 25=

C!5=5ESS <O!5< &O COEE 2(OD5=, HDH1 B .hy am ! even tryin$ to #e "unny at a time like this1 Shouldn%t ! #e completely cryin$ my eyes out and so##in$ hysterically at this point1 ! think itVs sa"e to say that ! have "inally lost my mind &hank you, C'on 9iyon$ "or completely shatterin$ my heart into a thousand pieces and takin$ my mind alon$ 'ith it ! donVt kno' ho' lon$ ! stood there starin$ at the place 'here 9iyon$ stood 'here he uttered those "inal 'ords, #ut #y the time ! #e$an 'alkin$ home, there 'as no point in $oin$ to my ni$ht class !t%s not like it 'ould have done me any $ood Ey mind 'as no'here near the history o" $raphics 2$ain, ! had no clue as to ho' lon$ it took me to $et #ack home, #ut ! $uess the "act that ! had even "ound my 'ay home deserved a pat on the #ack, ri$ht1 ! 'as "ine =oin$ $reat ! "ound Seun$ri sittin$ in "ront o" my apartment door 'ith a pink #ox decorated 'ith red hearts in his hands .hen ! $ot closer, ! noticed that he 'as actually sleepin$ .hat a si$ht 3ee Seun$ri 'as sittin$ on a dirty "loor, 'ith 'rinkled clothin$, holdin$ a #ox o" cupcakes and sleepin$ O" course he had laid a sheet o" ne'spaper on the dirty $round #e"ore ploppin$ himsel" on it ! smiled, a #it and $ra##ed my phone out o" my #a$ Hey, you never kno' 'hen this photo could #e use"ul ! crouched do'n #eside him and nud$ed him 'ith my "oot ,ahA 3ee Seun$riA .ake upA Dmph, Seun$ri #e$an to slo'ly open his eyes .hat%s $oin$ on1 ! rolled my eyes at him <et upA ,ou%re sleepin$ on a cold and dirty apartment "loorA He ru##ed his eyes and $ave me a sleepy smile Oh, noonaA .here%ve you #een1 ! tried to $ive him a #ri$ht smile Oh, ;ust around, nothin$ #i$, ! lied ! 'as never $ood at lyin$ and Seun$ri kne' this 5o really, 'hat%s 'ron$1 he asked me in a $enuinely concerned voice .hat happened1 5othin$A (eally, don%t 'orry a#out meA ! tried to say cheer"ully, #ut even as ! said those 'ords ! "elt my inner resolve slo'ly start to crum#le

! heard Seun$ri si$h, and ! continued $ivin$ him the look o" a $irl 'ho hadn%t ;ust #roken up 'ith her #oy"riend o" one year 2"ter a lon$ silence, Seun$ri held out the #ox o" cupcakes "or me Sorry "or dra$$in$ you out to that speed datin$ thin$, #ut ! honestly thou$ht that it 'ould keep your mind o"" thin$s ! $ave him another small smile and accepted the B pink #ox &he same pink #ox that 9iyon$ had $iven #ack to me &he same pink #ox that 'ould #e a constant reminder o" 'hat happened today &he same pink #ox that 'ould al'ays sym#oli)e the 'ords: sel"ish, let%s end thin$s completely, over, done, "inished B ,eah, ! kno' it%s an u$ly #ox, #utR5oonaA ! kno' it%s u$ly, #ut you don%t have to cry a#out itA ! think that%s 'hen everythin$ hit me at once Cupcakes, love, 9iyon$, "inished, over Geverythin$ ;ust hit me ! started to do 'hat ! 'as supposed to do hours a$o: ! cried ! 'asn%t "ine ! 'asn%t doin$ $reat !, completely, sunk to the "loor and allo'ed the tears that ! had kept inside "or the past "e' hours to roll do'n my "ace .hat is it1 &ell me 'hat%s 'ron$A Seun$ri said in a 'orried tone, reali)in$ that ! 'as not cryin$ a#out the u$ly pink #ox He shi"ted closer to me 'hich moved the ne'spaper aside, #ut he didn%t seem to mind the $erms that 'ould accumulate on his clothes !t%s B over, ! tried to say 9ust over .hat%s over1 he placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me, so that ! 'ould #e "orced to look at him 9iyon$ Bdone, 'ere al the 'ords ! could say coherently Oh, he said, "ully understandin$ &hat 'as 'hen ! actually started to so# uncontrolla#ly Seun$ri didn%t say anythin$, and ! 'as $rate"ul "or that He placed an arm around my shoulder and he allo'ed me to cry on his #rand ne' 2r$yle print s'eater .e must have stayed there "or hours: Seun$ri hu$$in$ me around the shoulder 'ith "re6uent 'ords o" optimism, and me sheddin$ tears into his s'eater ! 'as alerted #ack to reality, 'hen ! sa' the a;uhmma 'ho 'orked till // LE shu""lin$ do'n the hall'ay to'ards us She stopped t'o meters a'ay "rom us and $ave us a look #e"ore 'alkin$ to'ards her apartment By that time, ! "elt like ! had shed so many tears that it made up "or my lack o" cryin$ in the past ! 'as never one to cry !%ve never had a serious #oy"riend #e"ore 9iyon$, so ! never had any tears due to heart#reak &here%s never #een a death in my "amily, so ! never kne' 'hat loss "elt

like ! did cry over the occasional melodrama, #ut those 'eren%t real &oday%s event 'as de"initely real -or the "irst time in my li"e, ! had "elt true heart#reak and loss ! kno' that sounds so clichH, overdramatic and somethin$ you 'ould expect "rom a drama, #ut it 'as exactly ho' ! "elt Come on, let%s $o inside, Seun$ri said to me so"tly ! "inally looked up and noticed that Seun$ri%s shoulder 'as completely drenched "rom my cryin$ ! 'as a#out to say somethin$ a#out his s'eater #ut he 'aved his hands =on%t 'orry a#out it, he said 'ith a small smile 2r$yle isn%t really my look, any'ays He $ot up, 'hile ! looked in my #a$ "or my keys 2s ! picked my keys up, my cell phone 'as still "lashin$ 'hich meant that ! still had unread messa$es ! $ave my keys to Seun$ri and he $ave me a curious look 'hen ! still didn%t $et up ,ou $o "irst, ;ust $ive me a second, ! said, my voice soundin$ husky a"ter hours o" cryin$ Seun$ri hesitated "or a moment, #ut nodded and made his 'ay inside the apartment ! #reathed deeply, and opened up my phone to read the last text messa$es "rom C'on 9iyon$ Babo writes: 11:0- A% F Call me, ,uri Babo writes: 1:.- "% F 3et%s have a talk Babo writes: .:01 "% G 3ast pain -irst si$ht .hole vie' 5e' $ain

Chapter Ei$ht
.hat the hell are you doin$1 Dnder dire and stress"ul situations, many people thro' themselves into doin$ thin$s they never thou$ht they 'ould ever have done #e"ore &hey let it completely consume them to the point 'here it%s impossi#le to even think a#out anythin$ else Leople empty their minds, #odies and souls into 'hatever they%re doin$, ;ust so that they can "or$et ! $uess that 'as 'hy ! 'as in my a6uamarine kitchen 'ith a#out ten do)en di""erent types o"

cupcakes surroundin$ me !t 'as also 'hy Eunyoun$ 'as standin$ in "ront o" me 'ith a look that clearly stated ! had lost 'hatever sanity that 'as le"t in my head 2nd you kno' 'hat1 She 'as ri$ht Only an insane person 'ould stay up all ni$ht experimentin$ 'ith nine di""erent cupcake recipes &hat person also had to #e even more insane to do this #ecause she 'as 6uite possi#ly one o" the 'orst #akers in the 'orldsRactually, put her in the kitchen and you can #e $uaranteed that somethin$ 'ill #urn or #reak 3ucky "or you, you already kno' that insane person Cim ,uri, impulsive cupcake #aker since -e#ruary /Kth, at your service Llease eat the cupcakes at your o'n risk &hey have #een made #y a person 'ho%s had her heart and mind stomped to #its on Talentine%s =ay Small amounts o" an$er, sadness and insanity are the special in$redients o" the day En;oy .hat the hell are you doin$1 Eunyoun$ repeated, as she stepped inside the kitchen !t 'as a #it hard "or her to 'alk in #ecause o" the cupcakes, spilt "lour and #roken e$$ shells Because o" the lack o" ta#le tops in my small kitchen, ! had #een "orced to place the #akin$ racks on the $round !%ve clearly ;ust had a 6uarter li"e crisis and reali)ed that ! have done nothin$ 'orth'hile in my t'enty years o" livin$, so !%ve decided to #ake t'o hundred cupcakes to send over to the starvin$ children o" 2"rica &hat and it 'ill $ive me $ood karma points so that ! 'on%t #e turned into a pi$ in my next li"e, as Seun$ri told me, ! said dryly, 'ithout even lookin$ up "rom my shockin$ly pink #atter ! don%t think it%s supposed to #e that pink ! $uess ! can $ive this #atch to my next door nei$h#our, or even Choi Seun$hyun #ecause the stupid #as tard still hadn%t paid me #ack "or his drink and "or eatin$ my precious udon noodles ! think Eunyoun$ actually thou$ht ! 'as serious #ecause ! didn%t hear a reply "rom her "or 6uite some time ! kno' your parents are a #it B umm, eccentric, #ut they%re actually okay 'ith you #akin$ over ten do)en cupcakes1 she asked, a #it a"raid o" the ans'er Hah, are you cra)y1 !%d #e diso'ned i" they kne' ! had 'asted this month%s supply o" e$$s and su$ar, ! said, "uriously #eatin$ the #atter But they%re not here ! told you already that they%re o"" on their fantastic vacation 'ithout me !" my hands 'eren%t "ull 'ith a hot pink #atter in a #o'l, ! 'ould%ve put "antastic in 6uotes ,ou see, "or the past /K years or so, my lovely parents have #een savin$ up "or a $lamorous vacation ! think 2ppa said somethin$ a#out puttin$ a'ay /PJ o" each o" their paychecks into a savin$s account 'hich #y the 'ay is somethin$ ! recommend everyone doin$? you actually do save 6uite a #it o" money 2ny'ays, ever since ! 'as "ive years old they%ve #een savin$ up "or this vacation and ! al'ays assumed they 'ould take me

Oh, ho' delusional and na:ve you%ve #ecome, Cim ,uri 9ust a 'eek a$o, ! had come home to "ind my parents in the livin$ room packed and ready to $o on a vacation Bein$ the completely na:ve and sel"Fa#sor#ed person ! 'as, ! had ;ust assumed that they had decided to $o on this vacation no' #ecause o" my 'hole Talentine%s =ay situation ! had s6uealed and almost ;umped on 2ppa 'hen Dmma suddenly told me that ! 'asn%t $oin$ Someone had to stay home and look a"ter the apartment so that loan sharks and $an$s 'ouldn%t come #y and try to sell o"" our apartment 'hile 'e 'ere $one Cra)y, paranoid parents, ! tell you ! 'as a #it upset at the time #ecause it 'ould%ve #een nice to $o on some super "ancy and rich vacation to &okyo, Bei;in$ or Ban$kok Oh 'ell, i" ! couldn%t $o, then they at least could #rin$ me #ack some nice and shiny thin$s, ri$ht1 ! started #lurtin$ out random thin$s "or them to #uy "or me, #ut once a$ain, Dmma interrupted me and killed my hopes "or the second time that day 2pparently, they 'eren%t $oin$ to &okyo Bei;in$1 ! 'ish Ban$kok1 5ot even &he vacation that Dmma and 2ppa had #een savin$ "i"teen years "or B 'as to the country side o" Corea !%m serious Dmma said that they 'ould use that money to renovate a nice cotta$e and spend the month there appreciatin$ nature and its natural $i"ts ! $uess that meant they 'ould #e spendin$ a month in the middle o" no'here 'ith no electricity, clean 'ater or access to Eariah Carey al#ums ,eah, !%m not exactly sure 'hat to say to that, either &hey le"t me 'ith a thick maroon #inder 'ith a#out 4PP pa$es 'orth o" everyday situations ! could possi#ly "ind mysel" in, and solutions to them Sometimes, ! think they%re mockin$ my common sense -or example, one o" the situations 'as: 'he apartment is on fire. F !" it%s a small "ire, use the "ire extin$uisher to put it out F !" it%s a medium "ire, use the "ire extin$uisher to put it out F !" it%s a lar$e and all consumin$ "ire, $ra# all your personal #elon$s and run like hell =o they honestly think !%m slow or somethin$1

.ho%s #een eatin$ all o" your cupcakes1 Eunyoun$ asked curiously, #reakin$ me out o" my thou$hts ! hope you aren%t #ecause since you%ve #een #akin$ around KP cupcakes a day since the /Kth B that%s a#out 0PP cupROH E, <O=, C!E ,D(!A ,OD 5EE= &O S&OL &H!S E2=5ESSA ! arched an eye#ro' at her Seven hundred cupcakes multiplied #y three hundred calories B ho' are you not overly o#ese and su""erin$ "rom a heart attack, yet1 Chea, do you honestly think !%m stupid enou$h to eat all o" these1 !%ve #een $ivin$ them to the nei$h#ours, and random people on the streets, ! said calmly, 'hile pourin$ the #atter into the mu""in tins She $aped at me ,ou%re kiddin$ ri$ht1 5o, random stran$ers actually like #ein$ $iven cupcakes, 'hich is really 'eird #eR 5OOOA 5ot to thatA ,ou%re "attenin$ up my precious Einh'an 'ith your overly caloric and most likely poisoned cupcakes1 she asked 'hile puttin$ her hand over her heart Oh, ri$ht ! don%t think ! should%ve told her that !%ve #een $ivin$ the cupcakes to Einh'an 5o' that she mentioned it, ! think his cheeks have $otten a #it chu##ier Dm, may#e1 ! said in a timid voice ,2H, C!E ,D(!A ! C25%&R 5oona[ !%m #ack, a$ainA .hat did you need meRoh, hi Eunyoun$FnoonaA Hah Speak o" the devil HFhi Einh'an, her voice s'itched so "ast into s'eet and lova#le that it 'as scary .hy 'ere you yellin$ at ,uriFnoona1 !t didn%t sound too $reat1 Einh'an said in his si$nature aey$o voice !" this #oy 'asn%t /K, ! 'ould #e all over him !t%s really not "air that /K year old #oys looked like him !t%s like <od is mockin$ me: He%s /K, extra pretty, adora#ly s'eet and per"ect, #ut you can%t touch him #ecause that is somethin$ 'e call pedophilia .hy are you so harsh, <od1 ,Fyellin$1 she smiled and 'alked over to me and put an arm around me, ti$htly .hy 'ould ! #e yellin$ at my best friend1 Eunyoun$ 'as so, so scary 5o one can $o "rom cra)y #i tch to super "riendly #est "riend mode like her Einh'an smiled at her and 6uickly turned to look #ack at me 2re these all "or me1 he asked

'ith sparkly eyes ,eah, sure, i" you 'antRO.A ! $ave Eunyoun$ a "urious look 'hen she poked me in the side She 'as $ivin$ me a look that said, =on%t you dare make my Einh'an%s cheeks even chu##ier or you 'ill die ,ou really don%t 'ant to $o a$ainst someone like Eunyoun$ Dm, actually, you can ;ust take 4 this time, ! tried to tell him in my most normal voice, #ut it 'as a #it hard 'hen your supposed #est $irl "riend 'as pokin$ you deeply on the side Einh'an pouted and $ave me the look o" a kicked puppy .hy do you do this to me, <od1 Okay, you can have only K, #ut that%s itA ! said, 6uickly movin$ a'ay "rom Eunyoun$%s $rip to hand over a container o" cupcakes to him He smiled #ri$htly at me, as i" he had #een $iven an early Christmas present, 'hen he took hold o" the container &hanks, noonaA !t%s no pro#lem, ! said in my "orced normal voice !t 'as a #it hard to talk in a normal tone 'hen Eunyoun$ 'as on the other side o" the kitchen $ivin$ me a death $lare Okay, 'ell ! need to $et $oin$, no' ! have to $o to school, he said 'ith another killer smile .hy aren%t you K years older, Einh'an1 Oh, 'ait =id he say he 'as leavin$1 &hat 'ould mean ! 'ould #e le"t alone in this little apartment 'ith Eunyoun$ 'ho 'as lookin$ 6uite "urious and ready to kill Ey parents 'eren%t comin$ #ack "or another t'o 'eeks, so that 'ould mean my #ody 'ould #e un"ound "or /Q 'hole days &hat can%t #e $ood .aitA =on%t leave yet, Einh'anA ,ou ;ust $ot here, ! said, as ! tu$$ed on his shirt sleeve ! possi#ly mi$ht%ve "lo'n over to him ! can move pretty "ast 'hen my li"e is endan$ered Oh, ! kno', #ut ! really have to $o Homeroom starts in /K minutes, and ! need to run, like no', he said, pryin$ a'ay my "in$ers "rom his 'hite uni"ormed sleeve Homeroom1 (i$ht He 'as in hi$h school 2nother reminder to deter Cim ,uri%s pedophilic 'ays ! looked over to Eunyoun$ and she seemed to have the same look that ! had Correction, another reminder to deter Cim ,uri and Lark Eunyoun$ "rom committin$ any ille$al crimes !%ll see you later, noonasA Einh'an 'aved $ood#ye and practically skipped out o" the room

'ith cupcakes in to' 5oonas1 =amn, 'e%re $ettin$ old Eunyoun$, ! think 'e needFF Oh dear $od, ! am a pedophile B Dm B ,eah, ! think 'e already $ot thatFF ! need to $o and reevaluate my li"e, no', she said in a #it o" a da)ed voice #e"ore 'alkin$ to'ards the door !%m #ein$ a horri#le "riend, ri$ht no', #ut ! couldn%t help #ut smile to mysel" Come on, you have to admit it%s amusin$ ! then looked around my kitchen and reali)ed that ! didn%t have anyone to help me carry all these cupcakes to school "or Seun$ri L2(C ED5,OD5<A COEE B2CCA ! L(OE!SE !%33 S&OL -EE=!5< E!5H.25A FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF .e look like complete idiots ! stuck my ton$ue out at Eunyoun$, and continued 'alkin$ into the lecture hall 2"ter reassurin$ her that she wasnt a pedophile and that Einh'an looked a lot older than /K, she $ladly decided to help O" course, she didn%t kno' ! 'ould make her carry three #oxes o" cupcakes all the 'ay to campus, 'hich 'as a 6uite a trip &he #us isn%t very "riendly to cupcake carriers Sure, 'e 'ere each carryin$ 7 lar$e #oxes "illed 'ith cupcakes, #ut it didn%t look that odd .e settled into our normal seats #y the side aisle and ! placed the #oxes in t'o neat piles Eonday classes 'ere al'ays #rutal =id ! really care a#out the insinuations and deeper meanin$s o" man$a1 Black and 'hite dra'in$s can only have so much meanin$ and !%m pretty sure that the #lack colourin$ in that one panel 'as ;ust #ecause o" an inkin$ pro#lem and not #ecause ,uki 'as "eelin$ distressed that (ui had eaten the last piece o" sushi Seriously, 'hy am ! ma;orin$ in $raphic desi$n a$ain1 Okay, ! 'ant a "uture as a man$a artist, #ut still, this class had #ullshit 'ritten all over it &he midterm consisted o" 7 pa$es "rom random man$as and you had to analy)e and criti6ue each and every one Basically, think o" the most outra$eous scenario, try to relate it to the picture and voila: 2\ =on%t you ;ust love the university $radin$ system1 Seventy t'o cupcakes, Eunyoun$ repeated to hersel" 2re you tryin$ to kill Seun$ri1 2ctually, ! think ! mi$ht have to $o check up on Einh'an a"ter school #ecause, sorry ,uri, #ut you%re

horri#le in the kitchen ! rolled my eyes at her and continued to take out paper "rom my #a$ 5oA ! ;ust think he deserves some cupcakes "rom me, every no' and then1 ! said, althou$h ! didn%t sound too convincin$ Eunyoun$%s "ace suddenly $re' 6uite serious and she leaned in closer to'ards me ,uri, ! kno' this spontaneous cupcake #akin$ #usiness isn%t ;ust #ecause you%re tryin$ to $et karma points, #ut i" you really need to talk a#out 9iyFF ! think this lecture is $oin$ to #e completely useless today ! mean, last 'eek 'e talked a#out #lack and 'hite comics and no' this 'eek it%s pro#a#ly $oin$ to move onto coloured comics Can 'e say complete 'aste o" time1 ! said, completely cuttin$ o"" Eunyoun$%s sentence ! really didn%t 'ant to $o throu$h this a$ain Okay 9iyon$ and ! #roke up !t happened !t%s done ! cried ! ruined Seun$ri%s shirt !t%s over &he end ! am "ine Everythin$ is peachy keen B Hello, sel" denial !%m Cim ,uri, it%s nice to meet you Honestly, the situation 'ith 9iyon$ and ! is like the elephant in the kitchen ,ou kno' that elephant is there, #ut 'hen everyone 'alks in, they pretend it%s not there &hey try to act normally, as i" a $iant elephant is not in their kitchen ,ou try to $et on 'ith your normal activities in that room, #ut you can%t, #ecause it%s al'ays there and you%re constantly reminded o" it .hen someone even tries to mention that it%s there, everyone shushes that person, and li"e continues on &he elephant ;ust sits there and you can%t $et rid o" it ,ou turn a'ay and you think it%s $one, #ut then you turn #ack around and it%s still there 9iyon$, you are the elephant Llease $et out o" my kitchen Ever since Talentine%s =ay, the su#;ect o" 9iyon$ has #een hushFhush around everyone ! kne' Some people tried to mention it to me, #ut ! 'ould ;ust 6uickly cut them o"" and chan$e the su#;ect ,eah, this is clearly not the actions o" someone 'ho has $otten over their exF#oy"riend Out o" the corner o" my eye, ! could see that Eunyoun$ 'as $ivin$ me her in"amous concerned look !, on the other hand, tried to i$nore her #y doodlin$ on my paper ! heard her si$h and then take out her #inder But, really, 'hy are you $ivin$ him so many cupcakes1 .hite =ay isn%t "or 'eeks <lad to #e avoidin$ the su#;ect o" 9iyon$, ! replied, .ell, since ! can%t $ive them to Einh'an anymore, ! "i$ureFF Oh, .H2& are you talkin$ a#out, ! meanROELH2HH.H2&&HEOELHA &his 'as "ollo'ed #y

a series o" s'ear 'ords and $roans ! 6uickly turned around and noticed that at the #ottom o" the aisle stairs, there 'as a person spra'led on the "loor in a very a'k'ard position -or a second, ! 'anted to #urst out lau$hin$ *no 'onder #ad thin$s happen to me+, #ut ! reali)ed that my 4 piles o" cupcake #oxes 'ere no lon$er #eside me !n "act, the trail leadin$ do'n to the #ottom o" the stairs to the spra'led #ody 'as covered 'ith #roken and smashed cupcakes and ! could see three o" my #oxes underneath his #ody, as 'ell Oh, he did not B Be"ore Eunyoun$ could even $ra# me and tell me to hold on to my sanity, ! 'as practically "lyin$ do'n the stairs ,ahA =o you kno' 'hat you ;ust did1A ! yelled completely i$norin$ that "act that he had "allen do'n over 4P steps and 'as no' a crumpled mess at the #ottom Sometimes, ! think ! have multiple personalities 5ormal Cim ,uri 'ould never, #e yellin$ so outra$eously like no', #ut apparently cra)y Cim ,uri has no 6ualms a#out yellin$ at complete stran$ers ! heard the #oy $roan Could you please stop yellin$1 ,our screechin$ isn%t helpin$ my head, ri$ht no' &hat voice sounded extremely "amiliar &he person on the "loor t'isted his #ody so that he no lon$er lay on his stomach #ut his #ack and ! could no' "ully see his "ace Oh my $oodness YCHO! SED5<H,D5AY ! cried out D$h, he $roaned and li"ted himsel" up to a sittin$ position .hy did ! have a "eelin$ that this had somethin$ to do 'ith you1 He clutched his stomach and #e$an ru##in$ it 'ith his ri$ht hand ! looked at him 'ith pity "or a#out /P seconds, #ut then ! reali)ed 'hat he had ;ust done and that 'as 'hen ! pretty much 'ent cra)y on his poor soul CHO! SED5<H,D5A =O ,OD C5O. .H2& ,OD%TE 9DS& =O5E1 ! practically screamed out ! don%t kno'1 ! think ! mi$ht%ve ;ust "ell do'n a#out 4P steps #ecause o" your six #oxes o" "ood, and #y the 'ay, 'ho leaves #oxes in the middle o" an aisle 'ay1 2nd no' !%m tryin$ to $et "eelin$ #ack into my le$s and recover my hearin$1 he said in a sarcastic voiceRor at least he tried to, you can%t exactly sound sarcastic 'ith cra)y ,uri standin$ over you 'ith a look that promised death !t 'asn%t in the middleA !t 'as clearly on the sideA ! tried to $et closer, #ut he 'as scurryin$ a'ay He 'as movin$ 6uite "ast "or someone 'ho ;ust "ell do'n the stairs

Stop $ettin$ so close to meA ,ou%re seriously scarin$ me, he cried, as he moved #ack'ards, still in a sittin$ position ,ou%re makin$ a sceneA ! stopped and looked around and sure enou$h, everyone 'as lookin$ at Seun$hyun and ! 'ith curious $lances O" course, 'ho could #lame them1 He had ;ust toppled do'n the stairs, crushed all 04 o" my cupcakes 'ith his massive tall sel", and ! had practically "le' do'n the stairs to yell and threaten his li"e !" my class didn%t already think ! 'as cra)y, 'ell ! $uess this incident 'ill all #ut con"irm it ,ahA he said, shieldin$ his "ace and #ody 'ith his hands =on%t even think a#out hittin$ this "aceA !t%s 'orth a lotA ,ou%re a rapperA ,ou don%t need to #e pretty "or thatA Cim ,uriA S&OL !&A Eunyoun$ had come runnin$ do'n the stairs and 'as 'hisperin$ very loudly to me to stop my cra)y antics ! turned to "ace my "riend 'ith a look o" shock and then pointed at Seun$hyun =o you not reali)e that he%s ;ust crushed all o" those cupcakes1 ,eeees, BD&, 'e are in a lecture hall and there%s a#out /4P students starin$ at us ri$ht no', and class is $oin$ to start in a#out 4 minutesA she said in an ur$ent voice ! think that%s 'hen reality hit me and cra)y Cim ,uri decided to $o a'ay ! 'as standin$ at the "ront o" a lecture hall 'ith an in;ured Seun$hyun and pretty much ;ust sho'ed everyone that ! 'as unsta#le and insane <reat ;o#, ,uri &hum#s up ! $ave a loud and nervous lau$h and #ent do'n to #ecome eye level 'ith Seun$hyun <et upA ! 'hispered rou$hly %ou are sittin$ #eside me today Seun$hyun $ave me his #est impression at a $lare 'hilst #ein$ in;ured and steadily $ot up He shook his head at someone #ehind me and 'aved them o"" ! turned around and noticed a#out 4 #oys 'ho dressed almost exactly like Seun$hyun, #ut 'ere a #it shorter &hey looked ready to intervene in me and Seun$hyun%s conversation, #ut had turned #ack around to settle into seats &he 'alk #ack to my seat 'as lon$ and a'k'ard 2s 'e 'alked up the stairs, my classmates $ave me dum"ounded looks, as i" they couldn%t #elieve 'hat ! had ;ust done ,eesh !t%s not like ! ran do'n the stairs and #eat him to a pulp 'ith my /P pound @History o" Ean$a% text#ook Leople, these days

! looked #ehind me to check i" Seun$hyun 'as still "ollo'in$ me #ecause you all kno' he has a tendency to run a'ay, #ut sure enou$h he 'as still there He mi$ht have #een limpin$ a #it, #ut he 'as still okay ,eah, ! think !%m $oin$ to $o sit near the #ack today, Eunyoun$ 'hispered 'hen 'e $ot to our re$ular seats But, 'hy1 9ust #ecause ! $et a little #it cra)yFF ,eah, a little is an understatement, she replied and $athered her thin$s, #ut then she leaned in and 'hispered, hey, at least you have a hot #oy that%s our a$e to sit next to1 She then turned and 'alked to'ards the #ack ! hate you, Lark Eunyoun$ Okay, hate%s a #it harsh, #ut 'ho ditches their "riend a"ter an incident like that1 2 pedophilic 'oman named Lark Eunyoun$, that%s 'ho .hy do ! al'ays $et dra$$ed into your issues1 Seun$hyun asked as he settled into the seat next to me, #ut then he turned to look at me Shouldn%t you #e apolo$i)in$ "or my "all do'n 4P steps1 ! could #ecome completely paraly)ed tomorro' and then ! can say $ood #ye to my "uture career in the music #usiness .ell, are you paraly)ed ri$ht no'1 B5o, #ut still, an apolo$y 'ould #e nice Hah, it 'asn%t even my "aultA Silence He re"used to look at me and settled "or starin$ at the $irl%s ela#orate t'isted #un in "ront o" him ! hate a'k'ard silences ! decided to #e the #i$$er person -ineA !%m sorry, okay1 Happy1 Seun$hyun $ave me a pleased smile Zuite 5o', you should apolo$i)e "or killin$ all o" my 04 cupcakes, ! told him 'ith a pleasant voice He $ave me a dou#le take &hat 'as your "ault ,ou shouldn%t have le"t all those #oxes in the middle o" the aisle &hey 'ere not in the middle o" the aisleA ,ou 'ere too #usy talkin$ 'ith your "riends to notice that they 'ere there and speakin$ o" 'hich, 'hy are you even in this class1 2ren%t you a poetMrapper or somethin$1 He sco""ed at me ,ES, ! am, #ut this is my elective ! heard this 'as a #ird course, and ! need

the avera$e #ooster 2nother thin$, ! 'as not too #usy talkin$, at all, your stupid #oxes 'ere ri$ht in the middle o" the aisle 5o, they 'eren%t ,ou are o#viously #lind 2m not 2re, too 5ot ,ou%re so immature 3ike you aren%t1 Silence So, 'e%ll a$ree to disa$ree, ! said hau$htily Seun$hyun shru$$ed By the 'ay, you are $oin$ to help me replace all those cupcakes, ! told him He shru$$ed a$ain, #ut then 6uickly turned to look at me .hat1 Hey, it%s not easy #akin$ 04 cupcakesA B ,ou #etter #e there, ! said 'ithout even lookin$ at him -ine -ine, #e in "ront o" this #uildin$ at K Okay B,ou%re already plannin$ on ditchin$ me, aren%t you1 5o B !%ll #e there 'ith loud silver #ells on B .hatever !%ll #e there Okay <ood B

2re you actually in;ured1 ! asked a"ter a #rie" silence ! sa' you limpin$ Eay#e ! $ave him a "ro'n Okay, no, !%m not, #ut no' everyone thinks !%m the innocent victim to your psychotic antics, he said cheekily Choi Seun$hyunA ,ou are theFF But 'hatever ! 'anted to call Seun$hyun he 'ould never kno' #ecause o" the pro"essor%s $reat timin$ o" #e$innin$ the lecture ! settled "or $larin$ at Seun$hyun%s satis"ied smirk ,eah, de"initely $ettin$ 'rinkles #y the a$e o" 4K FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF .hat a #as tard !t 'as exactly Q:7Q pm and he still 'asn%t here He 'as exactly 7Q minutes late, and help me <od, i" he did decide to sho' up, ! 'ouldn%t% try to #eat him 'ith my ten pound text#ook ! 'as supposed to meet up 'ith Seun$ri today at "our, #ut seein$ as ho', Seun$hyun had completely destroyed all o" the cupcakes, ! had to do a rain check Hope"ully he 'ouldn%t #e too suspicious o" my sudden cancellation and come #y the apartment later on in the ni$ht &he last thin$ ! really needed 'as to $ive Seun$ri "alse hope that Seun$hyun and ! may #e interested in one another in a romantic sense But, seein$ as ho' he 'as exactly 7K minutes late, ! don%t think Seun$ri catchin$ the t'o o" us to$ether 'as likely ! leaned a$ainst the railin$ on the 'all and decided to $ive Seun$hyun until K, even thou$h that 'as exactly one hour later than 'hen 'e 'ere supposed to meet ! mi$ht as 'ell make up "or my insanity 'ith my patience ! looked do'n the hall and sa' many un"amiliar "aces as they scurried past me to $et to their next class Some o" them $ave me stran$e looks, #ut continued on 'ith their 'ay .ithout a dou#t, ! kne' they 'ere in my early mornin$ class On the #ri$ht side, at least people kne' me no'1 2l#eit it 'as "or my #i)arre and outlandish #ehaviour, #ut at least ! 'as kno'n Out o" the corner o" my eye, ! sa' a "amiliar person 'alkin$ to'ards me, and a"ter a#out 4 seconds ! reali)ed that it 'as &aeyan$ Completely out o" ha#it, ! raised my hand up to 'ave at him, #ut ! only succeeded in raisin$ it up and not movin$ it 2 sudden thou$ht had ;ust occurred to me ! had hardly seen &aeyan$ in the past "e' 'eeks Ever since the #reak up, it seemed like he had completely disappeared ! 'ondered i" it 'as #ecause he 'as "orced to choose #et'een me and 9iyon$ ! $uess the sayin$ @#ros #e"ore hoes% 'as comin$ into play So ima$ine my surprise, 'hen &aeyan$ 'aved #ack and #e$an 'alkin$ to'ards my direction

Hey ,uri, he said in that casual and smooth voice o" his that usually had $irls meltin$ HFhey B you1 D$h !%m not even $oin$ to di$ni"y that 'ith a response ,ou1 ,ou don%t see me "or t'o 'eeks and you already "or$et my name1 he asked 'ith mock hurt ! $ave him a nervous lau$h O" course not, 'aeyangA !%m ;ust really tired ! had a hu$e essay due today and ! really didn%t $et much sleep, so ! call everyone @you%RHE, ,ODA ,eah, hi B youA ! called out to a random person 'ho had ;ust passed #y me !%m really livin$ up to the cra)y in cra)y Cim ,uri, aren%t !1 &aeyan$ $ave me an amused smile !t 'as a smile that you $ave to a "our year old 'hen they 'ere doin$ somethin$ completely stupid, #ut they thou$ht it 'as the #est thin$ in the 'orld, so you smiled at them to make them "eel special &his essay took you the 'hole ni$ht1 =oes it take the place o" a midterm or somethin$1 .hat%s it a#out1 &aeyan$ asked in $enuine curiosity Dm, yeah1 !t%s a#out manga, colours and B ho' it re"lects B Corean music culture1 Super 9unior ,oun$ versus old and stu""1 ,eah, ! said and nodded .hat the hell did ! ;ust say1 3yin$ is not my "orte, at all DhFhuh, sounds like you really kne' 'hat you 'ere talkin$ a#out in that essay, he said 'ith a smirk ,ep, de"initely expectin$ a IP on it, ! said 'ith optimism Ey inner sel" 'as pro#a#ly purposely runnin$ head "irst into the 'all ri$ht no' !" &aeyan$ kne' ! 'as lyin$, he didn%t $ive any indication So, any'ays, ! 'as 'onderin$, since 'e haven%t seen each other in a'hile, may#e 'e could do somethin$ toni$ht1 =o somethin$1 3ike ;ust the t'o o" us1 Oh, no, ! 'as $oin$ to #rin$ =aesun$ alon$, #ut i" you 'anted it ;ust toFF 5o, noA Brin$ =aesun$ alon$A ! haven%t seen my sad, pathetic, support $roup partner in a 'hileA ! said 'ith a cheer"ul voice .ell, at least ! tried Sad, pathetic, support $roup partner1 =id ! actually say that out loud1

Oh, never mind, it%s the sleep deprivation, ! tell youA ! lau$hed, louder than ! should have ! need to learn ho' to lie #etter Okay, he said hesitantly .e%ll come #y around 8 or 01 ! nodded ,eahA SD(EA 2lri$ht, ! $uess !%ll see you in a #it Oh, and ,uri1 ! looked at him expectedly &ry to $et some sleep, you%re a #it B restless, he, then, 'alked o"" to'ards the exit (estless1 !s restless the ne' polite 'ord "or do'nri$ht cra)y1 !t 'as stran$e ,es, stran$e that &aeyan$ 'anted to make plans 'ith me even thou$h his #est "riend had ;ust, completely, ended thin$s 'ith me ;ust a "e' 'eeks, a$o !t 'as stran$e that he 'as actin$ like nothin$ had happened Oh, 'ell !$norance is #liss, ri$ht1 2nythin$ to stop the mentionin$ o" the elephant in the kitchen ! looked do'n at my 'atch and reali)ed that it 'as no' Q:KK pm -ive more minutes, Choi Seun$hyun, or ! 'ill hunt your sorry #utt do'n and "orce you to eat all o" my no $ood cupcakes in one sittin$ &hat%s a #it sadistic ! stood 'aitin$ and 'atched random students 'alk past #y me, once a$ain !t 'as then that a sudden reali)ation hit me =id ! ;ust not accept &aeyan$%s invitation to do somethin$ toni$ht1 .ell, considerin$ ! 'as here 'aitin$ "or Seun$hyun to come B ! don%t think that 'as a $ood idea Oh, 'hy don%t you think #e"ore you talk, Cim ,uri1 But considerin$ it 'as "ive minutes to "ive and Seun$hyun still hadn%t sho'n up, ! think there%s a $ood chance that he%s 'asn%t comin$ 2t least ! 'ould have &aeyan$ and =aesun$ to help reF #ake my ruined cupcakes !t pro#a#ly 'asn%t their idea o" @han$in$ out%, #ut li"e is tou$h, they%ll $et over it ! can%t #elieve that ! thou$ht Seun$hyun 'ould actually sho' up Okay, !%m here, let%s $o Speak o" the devil ! looked to my le"t and sa' Seun$hyun standin$ there 'ith a #ored expression on his "ace and lookin$ not at all sorry "or #ein$ K8 minutes le"t .as he plannin$ to die1

,ahA ,ou are exactly K0 minutes lateA .hat the hell1 ! cried out, and hit him on his shoulder "or an added e""ect EhA .hat are you talkin$ a#out1 !" anythin$ ! am 7 minutes earlyA he said, clearly not a""ected #y my hit He stu""ed his hand into his coat pocket and "lipped open his cell phone to sho' me the time and surely enou$h it said 7:KU pm SeeA &old you !%m earlyA ! "urro'ed my #ro's in con"usion ! s'ear it 'as K ri$ht no' ! took out my phone and it read Q:KU pm 5o, it%s notA ,ou ;ust chan$ed the time on your o'n, didn%t you1 !t !S 7:KU pmA !" you don%tRheyA .hat time is it1 Seun$hyun had turned to his ri$ht and asked the "irst person he sa' "or the time ! don%t kno' i" it 'as out o" luck *in his case+, #ut the person he asked 'as this drop dead $or$eous $irl ,ou kno' the type, ri$ht1 &all, nice le$s *'ho 'ears a skirt durin$ 'inter1+, dou#le eye lids, hu$e eyes *circle lenses ! presume+ and lon$, strai$ht, shiny, #lack hair ! sound a #it ;ealous 9ust a little #it Oh[ she said in @surprised% voice and looked do'n at her silver 'atch !t%s "ive She tried to $ive him a very B come hither look, #ut Seun$hyun didn%t notice it H2HA ! told you it 'as KA Eakin$ me 'ait here like !%ve #een stood up on a date, ! sco""ed at him, as ! crossed my arms 5oA !t 'asn%t even my "ault, theFF Oppa, 'here did you $et your coat1 !t%s really so"t, the pretty $irl 'ho Seun$hyun asked the time "or 'as no' currently standin$ very close to him and touchin$ his coat .ho the hell do you think you are1 Dm, ! don%t kno'1 Someone #ou$ht it "or me as a $i"t, Seun$hyun said in an uncom"orta#le voice and moved a'ay "rom her touch 2ny'ays, ! didn%t chan$e itA .hy 'ould ! purposely chan$e my clock to $o #ack an hour and come an hour late, huh1 ! =O5%& C5O.1 Eay#e to see me purposely mad and ;ust to makeFF Oppa, your hair is really lon$, #ut it%s very stylish, too, the same $irl said, and she took a step closer to touch it =id this $irl 'ant to die1 =id she not see me and him standin$ to$ether havin$ a conversation1 Dm, yeah, my umma cuts it "or me every other 'eek, he said in an a'k'ard tone, and a$ain, stepped closer to me ! have to say !%m a #it surprised Eost $uys 'ould #e completely all over this $irl, #ut instead Seun$hyun 'as actually puttin$ some distance #et'een him and her and 'as tryin$ to $et #ack to our conversation

2ny'ays, ! don%t see 'hy you, Choi Seun$hyun, needFF OhA ,our name is Choi Seun$hyun1 &hat%s such a stron$FF ,2HA =o you not see me, ! pointed to mysel" and then to him, and him havin$ a conversation1 2re you that stupid1 Has all the plastic sur$ery you%ve had on your "ace $otten to your #rain, as 'ell1 Oh, sh it =id ! really ;ust say that1 <irls like me aren%t supposed to thro' tantrums at $irls like her <irls like her kno' people Leople that o'n under$round clu#s or or$ani)ations Leople that kno' people 'ho can kill people like me Cra)y ,uri strikes a$ain &he $irl%s "ace 'as actually very pretty 4 seconds a$o, #ut no' it ;ust morphed into somethin$ really u$ly Excuse me1 Llastic sur$ery1 ! am one hundred percent natural and i" anyone needs plastic sur$ery it%s you, she said in a lo' voice, completely di""erent than the one she 'as usin$ 'ith Seun$hyun Llus, you%re not his $irl"riend 'hich means that he%s "ree to talk to anyone he 'ants Oh, hell no Llastic sur$ery1 2re you "uFF 2ctually, she is my $irl"riend, Seun$hyun suddenly said and put an arm over my shoulder, very a'k'ardly ! 'idened my eyes in surprise at him and looked at his "ace to see i" it sho'ed any si$ns o" sickness or insanity !t looked pretty normal 2pparently, ! 'asn%t the only one surprised #ecause ! heard the $irl $asp out loud He turned to look do'n at me, still 'ith his arm around me Sorry ! came late, ! $uess ! misread the time, you%ll "or$ive me, ri$ht1 He smiled at me, and !%m not $oin$ to lie, it 'as a really nice smile ! nodded alon$ 'ith a "orced smile, as 'ell .e, then, #oth turned to look at the $irl in "ront o" us She had a "ace o" a#solute shock 2nd, ! don%t exactly appreciate you sayin$ that my $irl"riend needs plastic sur$ery ! think she%s per"ect ;ust the 'ay she is, Seun$hyun said and "or that, ! almost 'anted to kiss him, !RyouRher B 'hat1 B D$h, ! think !%ll ;ust $o no', She 'alked a'ay and still seemed like she 'as in ama)ement that the #oy she 'as hittin$ on 'as outri$ht i$norin$ her "or someone like me

Seun$hyun and ! stood there 'ith his arm around me until she completely turned the corner and disappeared "rom our si$ht ! shru$$ed his arm o"" the second she 'as no lon$er visi#le 2ish, 'hat the hell 'as that1 ! didn%t kno' ho' else to $et rid o" herA he ar$ued Chea, most $irls 'ould%ve #een thank"ul, you kno' .ell, !%m clearly not like other $irls 5O1 (eally1 he asked in mock surprise ! rolled my eyes at him 2ctually, ! think it%s #ecause ! ;ust $ot this phone a "e' days a$o &he $uy mi$ht have pro$rammed it 'ron$, he told me in all seriousness, as he "lipped his phone open Somethin$ a#out dayli$ht savin$s1 ,ou $o forward "or dayli$ht savin$s, and 'e don%t even have that in Corea, ! ar$ued He shru$$ed ! don%t kno' &his phone is seriously actin$ up But, you kno' 'hat1 .e can either continue standin$ here lookin$ like idiots and ar$ue a#out 'hat time it is, or 'e can $o to your place and #ake your one thousand cupcakes and $et everythin$ over 'ith =amn He had a point Okay, "ine, let%s $o, ! said, and started 'alkin$ to'ards the doors Oh and thanks "or sayin$ that ! didn%t need plastic sur$ery and ! "or$ive you &here 'as a short moment o" silence #et'een us .hat are you talkin$ a#out1 %ou "or$ive me1 he asked in dis#elie" ,ou kno' that 'as all actin$, ri$ht1 ! turned around to $lare at him, and 'as a#out to shoot #ack a really u$ly reply #ut stopped mysel" But, ! do think your nose is ;ust a little #it too "lat, may#e you can $et some 'ork done on it in a couple o" years, he said, and ! could actually hear the smirk in his voice ,2HA CHO! SED5<FF C!==!5<A C!==!5<A he said 'ith a smile and 6uickly 'alked ahead o" me, lau$hin$ ! stood there "or a moment, and ! s'ear you could see steam comin$ out o" my ears &hat Choi Seun$hyun B sometimes, ! think he 'ants to die 2t this point, ! 'as not only $oin$ to $et 'rinkles, #ut cro' eyes and "ro'n lines #y the a$e o" 4K FFFFFFFFFFF

! can%t #elieve that out o" all days, your elevator is #roken, Seun$hyun yelled out to me He 'as yellin$ #ecause he 'as a#out t'o "li$hts o" stairs #ehind me and 'as practically dyin$ "rom lack o" oxy$en 2nd 'hy do you live so hi$h up1 ! rolled my eyes ! didn%t see ho' he 'asn%t a#le to catch up 'ith me ! mean, hello, !%m the most unathletic person in the 'orld and yet, he 'as t'oRactually, it 'as no' three "li$hts o" stairs #ehind me Hurry upA ! yelled at him, as ! opened the door to the main hall'ay !t 'asn%t until ! 'as ;ust openin$ the door to my apartment *! think ! need to mention that my apartment is the very last one on the lon$ hall'ay+ that ! "inally sa' Seun$hyun emer$e "rom the doors and slo'ly 'alk to'ards me ,ah, you look like an athletic personA Ho' is it that you can%t even clim# a couple o" stairs1 ! asked still standin$ in "ront o" my door !%m usually not this mean, #ut 'hen !%m 'ith Seun$hyun, ! $uess the cra)y and mean ,uri ;ust likes to come out &hat 'as not a couple o" stairsA ,ou live on the eleventh "loorA &hat%s eleven "li$hts o" stairsA he ar$ued, still tryin$ to catch his #reath as he made his 'ay to'ards me ! rolled my eyes at him, and 'alked into the apartment 'hile leavin$ the door open "or Seun$hyun .ho kno's ho' lon$ it 'ould take him to 'alk do'n the hall ! made my 'ay into the kitchen, i$norin$ the massive pile o" cupcakes on the $round and ta#le, and proceeded to take out the in$redients needed "or the cupcakes ,ahA ,ou%re not supposed to leave your door open, you kno'A 3oan sharks and #lack market 'orkers can easily ;ust 'alk inA Seun$hyun yelled "rom the door ! think Seun$hyun has #een han$in$ out 'ith Seun$ri 'ay too much Seun$hyun made his 'ay into the kitchen and ! could va$uely hear him talkin$ a#out ho' youn$ $irls and small cats 'ere the prime tar$ets "or #lack market sellers He stopped talkin$ 'hen my kitchen and ta#le came into "ull vie' .hat the hell1 ,ou have like KP cupcakes on that ta#leA .hy am ! here1 he asked in dis#elie" and pointed at the mile hi$h pile Oh, do you 'ant them1 ! asked pleasantly !n reality, those 'ere the cupcakes that tasted B not ri$ht Either the taste 'as o"" or the colourin$, or #oth He shook his head 5o thanks that one looks too pink to #e eaten ! shru$$ed ,eah, those are "or B my nei$h#or, ! lied #ecause i" he kne' the truth, 'ell then, he 'ould pro#a#ly #e hi$htailin$ it out o" here ri$ht no' ! took out an apron "rom the ca#inet and handed it over to the still stationary Seun$hyun Okay, Choi Seun$hyunA Lut this apron on and start #akin$

He looked do'n at the apron 'ith a dis$usted look, #ut nonetheless took it D$h, it%s pink and it has lace at the #ottom ,ah, Choi Seun$hyunA !t%s an apronA !t%s not like anyone is $oin$ to see you 'earin$ it, ! replied, and #e$an mixin$ the dry in$redients to$ether &he recipe%s on the ta#le? ! hope you can read ! need to $et rid o" this mean streak !%m usually a nice personA ,ou all kno' thisA 2ish, you kno' 'hat1 !" youVre $oin$ to make me #ake cupcakes in this tiny "rilly apron, at least call me &OL or &empo #ecause only my Dmma calls me Seun$hyun,Y he said, as he tied the apron around him -ine, less sylla#les "or me to say, ! said 6uickly and handed him the recipe 2ctually, 'ait, 'here did &empo come "rom1 !sn%t your sta$e name &OL1 .hy do you have so many names, any'ays1 !t%s like you%re runnin$ a'ay "rom the la' or somethin$ .ait, are you1 2re ,OD one o" those people 'ho steal youn$ $irls and small cats1 ! C5E. !&A 2lthou$h, you aren%t really athletic enou$h to #e oneFF Oh my $od, #e 6uietA O" course !%m not 'orkin$ "or the #lack marketA ,ou are so insaneA Seun$ri said you 'ere a #it, ho' should ! say this, loopy, #ut ! didn%t think it 'as to this e""ectA he said, cuttin$ me o"", a$ain 3oopy1 ! 'asn%t loopy ! can%t #elieve that Seun$ri B actually, speakin$ o" Seun$ri B So, 'hy don%t you tell me 'hat kind o" hold Seun$ri has over you1 Hmm1 ! asked pleasantly, as ! cracked the e$$s into the #o'l HFhold1 .hat are you talkin$ a#out1 he said in a voice that 'as a #it too hi$h to sound normal and he 'as suddenly $rippin$ the recipe in his hands a #it too ti$htly ,es, a holdA &here has to #e a reason 'hy you%re al'ays, conveniently, present durin$ my a'k'ard situations, ! told him o""handedly, 'hile mixin$ the #atter Haha, ! ;ust have $ood timin$, ,uri, he said 'ith a nervous lau$h and reached over "or a mixin$ #o'l .ell, it%s really $ood timin$ ! mean, it%s really 'eird that Seun$ri isFF 2nd that 'as 'hen it hit me Seun$ri told him to do somethin$, and he 'ould do it 5ever mind the "act that Seun$ri 'as most likely 4F7 years youn$er than him Seun$hyun had completely i$nored the drop dead $or$eous $irl on campus 'hen she 'as outri$ht "lirtin$ 'ith him Oh, 'hy didn%t ! see this sooner1 Y=o you have a crush on Seun$ri1 ! mean, sure heVs youn$er and he is really pretty "or a #oy, #ut you donVt have to han$ around me all the time to impress him, you kno',Y ! said, starin$ at him directly in the eye Seun$hyun actually dropped the plastic #o'l *thank $oodness it 'as still empty+ onto the $round 'hen he heard my sudden epiphany He must have #een surprised that ! had cau$ht on

to his little secret Y,ou really don%t have to #e so shocked !t 'as really o#vious, ! told him in a com"ortin$ voice !t%s totally okay to #e $ayA !%ll even help you hook up 'ith him #ecause sometimes ! think Seun$ri mi$ht #eFF ,uri, !%m not $ay, he said in a determined voice Y! have a $irl"riend Y ! stared at him Y5o, you donVt Y Y,eah, ! do Y Y5o Y Y,ESAY Y5OAY Y,ESAY Y.H, 2(E ,OD 23.2,S HE(E, &HE51Y .hy 'as ! yellin$1 ! think shoutin$ and yellin$ is conta$ious Once someone starts screamin$, you have to start screamin$ alon$ 'ith them YOkay, ! donVt have a $irl"riend, #ut there is someone !Vm interested in, &OL said shyly, and #usied himsel" 'ith addin$ su$ar into the #o'l He 'as interested in someone1 2s i" he had heard my inner thou$hts, ,eah, ! actually really like her, #ut ! don%t kno' 'hat to do a#out it !" he had a $irl he 'as interested in, then 'hy in the 'orldRoh, 'hat the hell1 He 'asn%t actually here to receive advice "or his love li"e 'as he1 2skin$ me "or that type o" advice is romantic suicide Llus, did ! look like a Seun$ri to him1 &here are some people in the 'orld 'ho are naturally $ood listeners and $ood advice $ivers, and then there are others 'ho are a#solute crap &hose 'ho are horri#le at it 'ill most likely make the situation 'orse than it already is &he latter includes me ! need a $irl%s perspective on this, he said, 'ithout lookin$ up "rom the mixin$ #o'l ! couldn%t help #ut mentally @a''% in my head #ecause Seun$hyun, at the moment, resem#led a /P year old #oy 'ho 'as havin$ his very "irst crush on a $irl !t 'as cuteA But then ! remem#ered 'hat he 'as askin$ and mentally "ro'ned ,ou can%t #e serious, ! said $ravely ,ou 'ant me to help you 'ith your love li"e Have you not reali)ed the utter and complete mess that my o'n love li"e is in1 ! think that the "act that you #ein$ included in my supposed @romantic% li"e $ives you an indication o" ho' scre'ed up it is He dismissed 'hat ! had ;ust said 'ith a 'ave ! don%t 'ant advice, per se, ! ;ust 'ant you to tell me 'hat to do i" you "ound yoursel" in a certain situation

! #linked &hat%s 'hat advice isA 5ooo, that%s completely di""erentA ! mean, adviceFF Hey ,uriA ,ou need to learn to lock your doorA Haven%t you heard on the ne's that the #lack market tar$ets youn$ $irls1 came a voice "rom the "ront door that sounded a lot like &aeyan$ 2nd don%t "or$et small catsA 2lthou$h, !%m not really sure 'hy B 2nd =aesun$1 .hat 'ere they doin$Roh, ri$ht ! had invited him to come #y and help #ecause ! had assumed that Seun$hyun 'ouldn%t sho' his sorry "ace Clearly ! 'as 'ron$ ,ou told people to come #yFF Be"ore Seun$hyun could "inish his sentence, &aeyan$ and =aesun$ had 'alked into the kitchen Seriously, ,uri, you need to lock your doors, your nei$hRoh, heyA !t%s youA .hat are you doin$1 Oh, nice apronA &aeyan$ said, $ivin$ Seun$hyun the thum#s up "or the pink and "rilly apron 2ish, she made me 'ear it, Seun$hyun murmured, 'hile toyin$ 'ith the ends o" the apron DmFhmm, &aeyan$ simply said 'ith a strai$ht "ace #ut there 'as $lint o" amusement in his eyes ! did not force you to 'ear it !t%s not like ! put a $un a$ainst your head and said @'ear this or else !%ll #lo' your head to pieces%, ! said 'ith a hau$hty tone and crossed my arms 2 #rie" period o" silence passed over us &hat sounded really B, &aeyan$ paused, lookin$ "or the ri$ht 'ords Tiolent and sadistic1 Seun$hyun o""ered ,eah, exactly, &aeyan$ nodded 6uickly in a$reement Seun$hyun and &aeyan$ lau$hed to themselves, #ut ! personally didn%t "ind it to #e that "unny &aeyan$ a#ruptly stopped smilin$ and then looked to'ards Seun$hyun and ! .hy are B you t'o to$ether1 2re you $oin$ outFF 5OOOA Seun$hyun and ! 6uickly ans'ered and 'aved our hands "or an extra emphasis Oh, okay, &aeyan$ said, a #it relieved .hy are the #oth o" you #akin$ to$ether, then1 .ell, you see, Seun$hR! mean, &OL, decided to crush all 04 o" my #eauti"ul cupcakes 'ith his hu$e #ody and no' he%s here to help me reF#ake them ,#ut in reality, he only came #y to $et

"ree adviceRshhA !t is advice, &OLA 2ny'ays, he%s ;ust usin$ me today so that ! can help him 'ith his romanFF HeyA Cim ,uriA ! don%t appreciate you #la##in$ my entire love li"e to everyone, especially to people ! hardly kno'A Seun$hyun said, clearly a#ashed ! rolled my eyes at him ! seem to do that a lot in his presence, !%ve reali)ed ! have a "eelin$ that i" ! sa' Choi Seun$hyun on a day to day #asis, my eye#alls 'ould ;ust roll out o" their sockets ,ou kno' &aeyan$A ,ou exchan$ed udon recipes 'ith him a month or so, a$oA Seun$hyun looked at &aeyan$ curiously and then reali)ation suddenly hit him Oh yeahA ,ou 'ere ri$htA Leanut oil does do ama)in$ thin$s to udonA ,ou 'ould never expect it to have such an explosive taste, #ut 'hen you pair it 'ith udon and that special sauce, it%s like pure heaven Exactly, ! don%t kno' ho' other people haven%t "i$ured it out yetA &aeyan$ said, clearly astounded #y the "act that people don%t add peanut oil to their noodles !t%s so simple and yet so $reat &aeyan$ and Seun$hyun smiled at one another, as i" they had ;ust shared some $reat inside ;oke Dm, okay, ! said, slo'ly, tryin$ to #reak the invisi#le connection o" udon noodles #et'een the t'o #oys ! don%t think you kno' =aesun$, #ut Seun$R! mean, &OL, this is =aesun$ ! pointed to him, #ut =aesun$ had his head do'n on the small space o" ta#le that 'asn%t covered 'ith cupcakes Dh, hi1 Seun$hyun said uncertainly =aesun$ li"ted his hand up, #ut his head still remained on the ta#le ! looked at &aeyan$ and 'hispered, .hat%s 'ron$ 'ith him1 Oh, 'e sa' his exF$irl"riend on the 'ay over here, he replied in a 6uiet voice ! nodded Oh, ! see .as she 'ith another $uy1 &aeyan$ $ave me a nervous smile 5ot exactly, more like another $irl 2nother $irRoh ! see ,eah, he%s takin$ it a #it hard 2 #it 'as an understatement =aesun$ had his head do'n on the ta#le and ! could hear him moanin$ somethin$ incoherent and every no' and then he 'ould slam his "ist on the ta#le &entatively, ! 'alked over to =aesun$ and $ave him a poke .hen he didn%t respond, ! $ave him a harder poke 'hich he responded to #y ;umpin$ up "rom his seat and $ivin$ me an exasperated expression .H2&1 =o you not see ! am mopin$ here1 2 $uy needs to mope 'hen he "inds out his exF $ir"lriend is actually a les#ian !t really hurts the e$o, you kno'A !t makes a $uy "eel really

insecure, too ,our last $irl"riend dates you "or 4 months and then #reaks up 'ith you and then she starts $oin$ out 'ith $irls =o you kno' 'hat that says a#out me1 !& S2,S &H2& ! H2TE -2!3E= 2S 2 E25 .o' !t also says that ! am clearly not man enou$h to please a 'oman, #ecause 'hy else 'ould she ;ust suddenly start kissin$ $irls 'hen ! 'as a per"ectly $ood kisFF Can$ =aesun$A ,ou%re #ein$ really pathetic, ri$ht no'A &hat 'as harsh, #ut it had to #e said He #linked ,o, ! usually $o #y "irst impressions, and you%re not really $ivin$ me a $ood one, Seun$hyun suddenly said, as he started to #e$in mixin$ various in$redients to$ether ! turned around to $ive him a $lare .ay to kick a $uy 'hen he%s already do'n, Choi Seun$hyun ,ou kno' 'hat you need1 2 cupcake1 2 nice, homemade cupcake that you made yoursel", ! told =aesun$, as ! pushed him out o" the chair and into the kitchen Okay, ! "eel a #it manipulative, #ut everyone 'insA =aesun$ 'ill "eel happy a"ter #akin$ cupcakes, and ! 'ill have my 'onder"ul cupcakes #ack a$ain? unFsmushed SeriouslyA ,ou%ll "eel so much #etter a"ter you%ve made your "irst #atch o" cupcakes, ! said cheer"ully as ! handed him a purple mixin$ #o'l 2nd, &aeyan$ is o#viously $oin$ to help, right1 ! looked pointedly at him, and he 6uickly came #y my side to help &he recipe%s on the ta#le, and you kno' Seun$hyFF !s it so hard to call me &OL1 -ine, &OL, &empo, Seun$hyun, or 'hateverRno seriously, 'hy do you have so many sta$e names1 5o one else in this room has more than one name, you kno', ! said in a tired voice &aeyan$ is &aeyan$ and =aesun$ is =aesun$ 2ctually, a lot o" people have #een callin$ me Sol, lately, &aeyan$ interrupted me, as he started to pour vanilla into the #o'l ,ou kno', &aeyan$ is sun and sol is like solar #ut not really and it%s less sylla#les and it%s a damn $ood sta$e name Sol1 ! asked in dis#elie" ! used to #e called =F3ite, #ut not anymore, =aesun$ said, o""handedly ! 'onder 'hy people stopped callin$ me that1 ,eah, it%s a $reat mystery, Seun$hyun said sarcastically 'hile mixin$ to$ether the 'et and dry in$redients

!$norin$ Seun$hyun%s comment, ! said out loud, Sol and =F3ite ,ou kno', i" you t'o ever $ot to$ether and made a $roup you could #e called Sunny =eli$ht, like the drink1 &hen you could actually endorse it, #ut ! think that 'ould involve some copyri$ht in"rin$ements1 &hen Seun$R sorry, &OL could ;oin and you could #e like &op Sunny =F3ite 'hich 'ould mean you%re the num#er one sellin$ oran$e ;uice or somethin$, and then you could seriously make thousands "rom sponsors and en B ! stopped talkin$ 'hen ! noticed the looks the three #oys 'ere $ivin$ me 5o one appreciates my #rilliant ideas So any'ays, &OL #e$an a"ter an uncom"orta#le silence, i" ! make these cupcakes, does it mean that you%ll help me out 'ith my other pro#lem LsshyaA ,ou%re the one 'ho stepped on my cupcakes and made them roll do'n the stairsA .ho%s the one 'ho le"t them in the aisle1 2nd ! rolled do'n the stairs tooA he ar$ued Oh, 'hatever ! 'ill help you 'ith your pro#lem, #ut ! still 'ant my money #ack "or that co""ee, ! told him -ine !%m kind o" desperate at this point, any'ays So you sa' her at that speed datin$ thin$ thatRumm, is it possi#le that ! could ;ust tell you my pro#lems1 Seun$hyun asked, 'hen he reali)ed that &aeyan$ and =aesun$ 'ere in the same room ,ah, you compared D=O5 noodle recipes 'ith &aeyan$ and you can%t even discuss $irl pro#lems in "ront o" him1 ! asked, and then ! pointed to =aesun$ 2nd himA He ;ust admitted to you that his exF$irl"riend #e$an datin$ $irls, ri$ht a"ter she ended their relationship !%m sure your issues aren%t as #i$ as his &hanks, ,uri, you%re doin$ a $reat ;o# o" makin$ me "eel so much #etter already, =aesun$ said 'ith a "ro'n Sorry, =F3ite, ! said, hopin$ that my usa$e o" his "ormer nick name 'ould make him happier, #ut it didn%t Seun$hyun looked like he 'as in deep thou$ht, as i" he 'as 'onderin$ 'hether his pro#lems 'ere more pathetic than =aesun$%s or not Okay, "ine, #ut ! 'ould appreciate it i" this doesn%t $o any'here #ecause, he $rinned and popped up his collar, ! do have a reputation 'ith the ladies &aeyan$ and ! exchan$ed looks, and ! could even tell that =aesun$ had a similar expression on his "ace (i$ht, 'hich is 'hy you%re here in my colour"ul apartment #akin$ do)ens o" cupcakes 'ith the t'o most romantically inclined, no o""ense =aesun$, people in the 'orld, askin$ them "or love advice, ! said 'ith a sarcastic smile and handin$ over the e$$s to &aeyan$ Hey, ! don%t need this, ! don%t even have to #e hereFF Chill, &aeyan$ told Seun$hyun

,eah, ! $o #y "irst impressions, too and you%re not makin$ a very $ood one, =aesun$ said in a mockin$ tone ,ou $uys aren%t exactly the mostFF Oh my $oodnessA ! cried out and looked at &aeyan$ and =aesun$ 3et%s ;ust let him "inish his story ! looked at Seun$hyun expectedly and he rolled his eyes at me, #ut he didn%t move to leave 2ny'ays, you kno' that speed datin$ thin$1 Eiss 3a3a or 'hatever1 .ell ! met her there and she 'asFF D$h, that 'as the 'orst 4P PPP 'on !%ve ever spent in my li"e, =aesun$ moaned, ! didn%t even meet anyone 2ll the $irls 'ere noonas and they ;ust leered at me as i" ! 'as an ice cream cone that they 'anted to eat on a hot day 2$reed ! mean, there 'as this $uy that 'anted to pay me toFF Can 'e please $et #ack to the topic o" EE, please1 Seun$hyun cried out, #e"ore ! could "inish my story 2nd ! thou$ht ! 'as sel" a#sor#ed -ine, please $o on a#out the horri#le state o" your nonFexistent love li"e, ! told him 'ith an overly #ri$ht smile ,ou kno', ! really don%t remem#er you #ein$ this sarcastic, Seun$hyun said !t%s the elephant%s "ault, ! told him, nonchalantly, as ! tried to pour the #atter into the tin 'ithout spillin$ any Elephant1 &aeyan$ asked curiously, and 'iped up the #atter that #e$an to drip "rom my #o'l (i$ht, ! need to stop assumin$ everyone kno's 'hat%s $oin$ on inside this head o" mine ! shook my head and told Seun$hyun to continue on 'ith his story 2ny'ays, ! met her at Eiss 3a3a%s and honestly, 'e hit it o"" like you 'ouldn%t #elieve, he #e$an Eiss 3a3a is the corniest name ! have ever heard in my li"e, &aeyan$ said, takin$ the "illed mu""in tin out o" my hands so that he could put it in the oven =oesn%t it sound kind o" B off1 ! mean, i" someone told me, @hey let%s $o to Eiss 3a3a%s place%, ! seriously 'ould%ve thou$ht it 'as some kind o" escort service 5ot that !%m sayin$ any o" my friends visit those types o" services, or have asked me to $o alon$ 'ith them, or anythin$ 2ll !%m sayin$ is that it sounds a lot like an escort service B Oh, &aeyan$ you 'in at initiatin$ a'k'ard silences

2ny'ays, Seun$hyun #e$an a"ter the #rie" moment o" silence, ! met her at Eiss 3a3a%s 'hich is not an escort service Her name%s Sooha and B !%m really interested in her He said the last part in a shy school #oy 'ay, and dipped his head do'n to avoid our stares .e 'aited "or Seun$hyun to continue on, #ut he had started to mix the #atter and continued to avoid our expectant $a)es So, 'hat else1 &aeyan$ said a"ter a "e' moments o" ;ust 'atchin$ Seun$hyun mixin$ ,eah1 .hat%s her last name1 -avourite colour1 Eovie1 2$e1 ! added =oes she like $irls or #oys1 Because that should #e the "irst thin$ you "i$ure out or you%ll end up 6uestionin$ your manhood "or the next couple o" 'eeks, =aesun$ said in a som#er voice Seun$hyun looked up "rom the #o'l and $ave us a con"used expression .hat do you mean1 &ell me 'hat ! should do1 2ll ! kno' is that her name is Sooha ,ou%re kiddin$, ri$ht1 ! asked in dis#elie" 5o, he said, slo'ly !t%s not even the 'hole @! like her #ecause she%s hot and ! 'anna #an$ her% thin$ ! actually "eel a B connection1 B 5o, seriously, you%re ;okin$ ri$ht1 ! asked, a$ain, clearly not a#le to comprehend the seriousness o" the situation .aitA .as she the one 'ith the lon$ #lack hair and 'as 'earin$ that really #ri$ht oran$e shirt1 =aesun$ asked, as he poured the "lour into the #o'l ,eahA &hat%s herA Seun$hyun said, excitedly and 'iped o"" the "lour on the ta#le that =aesun$ had ;ust spilt Ho' do you kno' that you have a connection1 ! 'as 'atchin$ you t'oA =aesun$ exclaimed, 'hile lookin$ "or somethin$ to mix the #atter 'ith &he three o" us $ave =aesun$ curious looks and 'ondered ;ust 'hy he 'as starin$ at Seun$hyun and his lady "riend ,ahA ! 'asn%t spying or anythin$, #ut the noona talkin$ to me kept tellin$ me to li"t my shirt up and listed o"" all the thin$s she 'ould do "or me i" ! did it, so ! started to dro'n her out, =aesun$ explained BD&, you didn%t even do anythin$A ,ou ;ust sat there starin$ at her as i" you 'ere a dead "ish ! 'as not a dead "ishA .e had an intelli$ent conversationA Seun$hyun ar$ued and handed =aesun$ a 'ooden spoon ! don%t think the 'ords uh, yes, sure, oooh, and no, count as intelli$ent conversation, he replied, and accepted the spoon to #e$in mixin$ the #atter

So, let%s $et this strai$ht ,ou only kno' her name and that you "eel a connection 'ith her1 ! asked, literally tryin$ not to outri$ht lau$h Can you #lame me1 &his type o" stu"" only happens in romance novels and nine times out o" ten it happens to the "emale prota$onist .hen do you ever see a #oy admit that he "eels a connectionRand not that type o" connectionR'ith a $irl1 5ever So please let me en;oy my amusement "or the time #ein$ Lretty much, he replied and handed the #atter to &aeyan$ ! don%t kno' 'hat to do ,ou need some stalker skills, =aesun$ su$$ested Chea, don%t listen to him, &aeyan$ ar$ued, and #e$an pourin$ the #atter that Seun$hyun had $iven him into the second tray o" cupcakes ,ou $otta leave everythin$ up to chance ,ou kno' that movie Serendipity1 &hey 'aited three years to "ind each other and they ;ust le"t everythin$ up to "ate ,ou need to do that? then you kno' it%s meant to #e "or sure .e all $ave &aeyan$ a "unny look &aeyan$ shi"ted uncom"orta#ly and #e$an to a'k'ardly move the mu""in tin on the ta#le Dh, ! mean, stalk her do'n or somethin$, you don%t have three yearsA &his is like "indin$ Cinderella #ut you don%t have the $lass slipper, =aesun$ added Stalk her do'n1 ! don%t stalk people and even i" ! 'anted to, ! 'ouldn%t kno' ho', Seunhyun said, as he looked "or a ne' #o'l Seriously, all you have to do is #e"riend Hee;in ,ou kno' that cra)y /P year old that you mi$ht%s seen at Eiss 3a3a%s, or $et &aeyan$ and =aesun$ to introduce you 2"ter takin$ a look at you, you%ll #ecome the ne' o#;ect o" her a""ections 2sk her to ask .hippydo to ask his umma, Eiss 3a3a, to $o throu$h the list o" re$istration "orms and "ind a Sooha and voilaA 2lthou$h, the only thin$ you have to 'orry a#out is Hee;in #ecomin$ a permanent "ixture in your li"e ! told Seun$hyun, as i" it 'as an idea that anyone could%ve came up 'ith ! looked up "rom my #o'l and noticed the three #oys lookin$ at me 'ith astonished looks .hat1 ! shru$$ed, and cracked t'o e$$s into the #o'l that Seun$hyun had ;ust "ound =amn ,uri, ! don%t kno' 'ho .hippydo is, #ut do you stalk men in your "ree time or somethin$1 &aeyan$ asked, as he placed the second tray into the oven ! $ave him an o""ended look 5oA !t%s called common senseA 5ah, that%s ;ust pro"essional stalkin$, ri$ht there, =aesun$ ar$ued, and he added su$ar into the #o'l in "ront o" mine &rust me, ! should kno', ! have one "ollo'in$ me 5o, it%s notA !t%s ;ustFF Lro"essional stalkin$, common sense, 'hatever it is, it%s a $ood idea, Seun$hyun said, as i" the most #rilliant idea had ;ust #een laid upon him He set the plastic #o'l do'n and held a

determined "ace B .hat are you doin$1 ! asked, curiously .hat does it look like1 !%m $oin$ to look "or herA he replied, and took o"" the pink apron o"" He then looked at &aeyan$ and said, 2nd, ! need you to come 'ith me &aeyan$ looked around him, as i" Seun$hyun 'as askin$ someone else He pointed to himsel" and said in a surprised voice, Ee1 .hy1 .ell, !%d rather have you helpin$ me than, Seun$hyun then pointed over his shoulder to a "ro'nin$ =aesun$, him But, ! don%t stalk little $irls, so ! can%t "indFF !%m sure that i" this Hee;in is such an extraordinary stalker, she%ll someho' "ind you and 'e 'on%t have to look "or her, Seun$hyun replied and took the spoon out o" &aeyan$%s hands to set it on the ta#le &aeyan$ $ave Seun$hyun a 'orried look But, she doesn%t stalk meA She stalks =aesun$, plus !%m not really $ood at the 'holeFF 5o 'orries, !%m sure 'e%ll #e "ineA ! ;ust need you to introduce me to the /P year old, so that she 'on%t think !%m some kind o" cradle ro##er, he replied, as he #e$an tu$$in$ on &aeyan$%s arm to'ards the "ront door 5o, reallyA !%m totally notR ,ahA Choi Seun$hyunA .hat are you doin$1 2re you cra)y1 ,ou can%t $o no'A ,ou%ve only made 4Q cupcakes, ! need QU moreA ! cried out 'hen ! reali)ed ;ust 'hat 'as happenin$ in my kitchen Sorry, ,uriA =estiny is callin$ to meA ,ou can%t i$nore itA Seun$hyun said, as he pulled an un'illin$ &aeyan$ alon$ 'ith him (i$ht #e"ore they disappeared out the door, ! sa' &aeyan$ mouth @!%m sorry% 2lthou$h, someho', ! didn%t think he 'as that sorry ! $lared at the empty spaces that Seun$hyun and &aeyan$ had ;ust occupied Choi Seun$hyun 'as such an idiot But then a$ain, ! 'as the one 'ho $ave him the idea Correction, Cim ,uri, you are an idiot ,ou ;ust chased a'ay 4 o" your cupcake #akers and no' you%re stuck 'ith someone 'ho is 6uestionin$ his a#ility to #e a man Smartest person in the 'orld, you are Can 'e $o out to #uy co""ee or somethin$1 !%m $ettin$ a #it sleepy, =aesun$ suddenly said "rom #ehind me ! turned around to look at him !t%s only IA

He shru$$ed But, the cupcakes and theFF ! stopped talkin$ 'hen ! sa' him $ive me a pout .hat is it 'ith me and not #ein$ a#le to say no to cute pouts1 5o sel" control, ! tell you -ineA ! sa' =aesun$ smile But, you%re comin$ #ack to help me #ack the rest o" the cupcakesA !t 'as only 'hen 'e 'ere 'alkin$ do'n the cold streets o" Seoul that ! reali)ed Seun$hyun hadn%t told me the reason 'hy he 'as al'ays at Seun$ri%s #id and call, 25= he hadn%t paid me #ack ! almost 'ished that Seun$hyun 'ould #ecome Hee;in%s ne' stalkee, FFFFFFFFFFFFFF So many horri#le thin$s have happened in this little co""ee shop and yet, ! still can%t stop mysel" "rom comin$ here Eake that three thin$s in li"e ! have no sel" control over: cupcakes, cute pouts and co""ee =aesun$ and ! 'ere nestled in a 6uiet corner in the ca"H sippin$ on our drinks and eatin$ the mu""in o" the day *#lue#erry and chocolate chip+ &he 'alk here had #een oddly 6uiet, considerin$ ho' =aesun$ likes to rant a#out his supposed sad li"e Eay#e he reali)ed ;ust ho' ridiculous he 'as makin$ himsel" seem to #e1 ! don%t $et it .as ! that horri#le that ! turned her completely o"" "rom men1 Or, not ! $uess ! spoke too soon ! si$hed heavily and set my drink do'n !" !%ve told you once, !%ve told you a thousand times Can$ =aesun$, you are not horri#le ,ou need to stop puttin$ yoursel" do'nA .hat has happened to you to make you such a sel"Fpityin$ person1 ! don%t kno' Eay#e ! ;ust have the 'orst luck in the 'orld1 !t seems like every $irl that ! start to remotely like is the 'ron$ one "or me &hen, even i" 'e do start datin$, she $ets sick and tired o" me !%m #e$innin$ to think !%m misera#le at the 'hole relationship thin$, that or & am ;ust meant to #e a misera#le person ! paused, ;ust to see i" he had anythin$ else to add #ecause as you kno', he tends to cut people o"" a lot ,ou kno', ! #e$an 'hen it 'as clear that he 'ouldn%t interrupt me, ! think you%ve told me all that #e"ore Eay#e, you need to "ind a di""erent type o" $irl .hat do you mean1 he asked, curiously !t%s like you%re purposely $oin$ out to search "or that type o" $irl 'ho 'ill end up makin$ you misera#le !t%s almost like the situation 'ith $irls and their #ad #oys .e kno' that they%re not $ood "or us and all they%ll do is end up hurtin$ us, #ut that doesn%t stop us "rom perusin$ them &hen, 'hen they%re done 'ith us, 'e don%t #ecome interested in the nice #oy that helped us $et throu$h the #reak up, #ut rather, 'e still keep $oin$ "or that #ad #oy

9ust call me =r ,uri =aesun$ held his cup in the air, and $ave me searchin$ look Eay#e he%s seen the li$ht1 ,ou kno', i" you put it like thatRoh, shitA Come closerA =aesun$ said, "rantically, lookin$ past me ! tried to turn around, #ut =aesun$ #e$an pullin$ my chair closer to him .hat the hell are you doin$1 9ust come closer, he said, eyes shi"tin$ #ehind me Okay, #ut ! don%t seeFF !%m (E233, sorry, a$ain, okay1 =aesun$ told me a#ruptly .ell, that sounded really "amiliar Can$ =aesun$A ! re"use to let youFF ! really couldn%t "inish my sentence #ecause he had pressed his lips a$ainst mine His "in$ers 'ere pressin$ insistently a$ainst the #ack o" my head, as i" he kne' ! 'as $oin$ to push him a'ay 2s 6uickly as his kiss #e$an, it had ended =aesun$ pushed his chair #ack to its ori$inal seatin$ and $ave a si$h o" relie" and then took a lon$ sip o" his co""ee Dm .hat the hell1 ! looked at him, 'aitin$ "or a response, #ut =aesun$ continued actin$ as i" nothin$ out o" the ordinary had ;ust occurred ,ahA .hat 'as that1 ! 'hispered harshly, not 'antin$ to create a hu$e scene 'hich 'as "unny #ecause ! could "ly do'n the stairs in 4 seconds and start yellin$ at Choi Seun$hyun in "ront o" /PP\ people, #ut ! didn%t 'ant to start a scene here in this little ca"H ! should ;ust start namin$ my alter e$o Oh, "alse alarm, that 'asn%t Einhee ,ou kno', my les#ian exF$irl"riend1 ! had to make it some'hat look like !%m over her, and 'ell, you 'ere here andFF Can$ =aesun$ ,ou need to "ind yoursel" a nice $irl to settle do'n 'ith, 2S2L ,ou really have to stop 'ith the 'hole @let%s kiss ,uri 'henever a $irl ! 'ant to avoid is in my presence% thin$A !t doesn%t 'orkA !t didn%t 'ork on your /P year old stalker and ! hardly think that it 'ill ever 'ork on your lesFF

Be"ore ! could even "inish my sentence, a "lash o" $old in the corner o" my eye cau$ht my attention ! turned around and sa' a slim "i$ure dressed in an overly "lashy ;acket 'alkin$ out o" the co""ee shop 'ith hunched shoulders <old -lashy Bri$ht B C'on 9iyon$1

Chapter 5ine
6grey coloured te7t 8 past Babo writes: 6igh, high, &m up in the sky =aby girl, you gots to untie 'his shoelace knot &m in (ot me talkin like a bumpkin ,our #oy"riend is an idiot, Seun$ri told me #luntly, as he read the text messa$e ! had ;ust received 2ctually, he 'asn%t even supposed to have read the messa$e, #ut once my phone #e$an playin$ its "amiliar melody, he reached his hand over across the ta#le to $ra# the phone ,ahA .ho do you think you are1 ! cried out, as ! snatched #ack my phone out o" his hands =o & try to read your text messa$es "rom your little "ans1 &hey%re not little "ans, most o" them are noonas 'hich !%m completely okay 'ith #ecause older 'omen areRyahA ,ou%re not even listenin$ to meA ! smiled to mysel" 'hen ! read 9iyon$%s text #ut 6uickly 'iped it o"" my "ace 'hen ! looked up "rom my phone to come "ace to "ace 'ith Seun$ri%s sco'lin$ expression Sorry, 'hat1 D$h, 'hy do ! even #other1 Seun$ri murmured to himsel", as he took another #ite o" his cake ,ou kno', 'hat%s so $reat a#out him1 He 'rites retarded lyrics and he thinks that 'earin$ all the colours o" the rain#o' in one out"it is "ashiona#le Seriously, 'hat%s so $reat a#out him1 2nd 'hat the hell is a #umpkin1 He didn%t 'ant to use the 'ord pumpkin so he made up the 'ord #umpkin1 He $ra##ed his drink and hastily took a sip Loor Seun$ri, ! said sympathetically and leaned over to pat his arm li$htly !t%s okay to #e ;ealous ! don%t think it 'as a $reat idea to have said that, especially 'hen he had co""ee in his mouth &he second ! "inished my sentence, ! sa' him 'iden his eyes and spit out the mouth"ul o" co""ee all over the ta#le and oh, on me, too

3ovely Omo, sorry1 'as all Seun$ri could say 'hen he sa' the $olden #ro'n stains #e$in to "orm on my 'hite shirt ! drummed my "in$ertips on the ta#le top and tried to take deep #reaths Breathe, ,uri !t%s only a shirt Stains can #e 'ashed out &hink happy thou$htsA Cupcakes, "ood, your #oy"riend, su$ar, clothes, your "avourite 'hite shirt, Seun$ri #ein$ stran$led #y your no' stained "avourite 'hite shirt B Oh, scre' happy thou$hts 3EE SED5<(!A =O ,ODFF But #e"ore ! could "inish my yellin$ attack on the un"ortunate /8 year old in "ront o" me, my phone #e$an to play its tune and a #arista had come over to chastise Seun$ri "or the mess he had ;ust caused *the co""ee on the ta#le had #e$un to drip do'n to the "loor+ =o you honestly think that you can ;ust 'alt) into our ca"H and think that you can ;ust spit out co""ee 'herever you like1 .ell !%ve $ot 5E.S "or you, you can%t ;ustRoh, you have a really nice smileA =on%t 'orry a#out the spillsA !%ll $et a mop and clean it up, yeah1 .hile the #arista had #een scoldin$ Seun$ri, he had his head do'n .hen he raised it up a$ain, he looked at the $irl strai$ht in the eye and his mouth slo'ly turned up'ards into a shy $rin &hat 'as 'hen the #arista stopped scoldin$ and #e$an to talk in a very hi$h and s'eet voice ,ou kno' ho' sometimes 'omen use their sexuality and o#vious $ood looks to make certain situations 'ork in their "avor such as $ettin$ out o" a speedin$ ticket or makin$ some nerdy #oy do their home'ork "or them1 9ust "lash a pout 'ith your "ull lips or lean "or'ard so that they can catch a $limpse o" your cleava$e .ell, that%s a #it like 'hat Seun$ri does .hen he "inds himsel" in a spot o" trou#le, all he does is "lash that per"ect smile o" his and as i" it 'as ma$ic, the trou#le disappears !t%s total madness 5ot to mention completely un"air ! can%t even charm mysel" out o" paper #a$, and then there%s Seun$ri 'ho ;ust smiles and a $irl 'ould pro#a#ly $et on all "ours "or him 3i"e, you are too un"air =o you kno' ho' many "ree co""ees ! could $et i" you had $iven me Seun$ri%s smile1 Hey, aren%t you $oin$ to check your messa$e1 Seun$ri suddenly said in a much happier voice Oh, ri$ht ! slid the phone across the 'ooden sur"ace and "lipped it open

Babo writes: %ellow like a chick (old like the sun 4 hit me like a dropkick Q colour me like a crayon yo baby boo, meet me at mRcostume 2 costume shop1 Hallo'een 'as only a "e' days a$o, 'hy the hell did he 'ant me to $o there1 .hat did he say this time1 Has he created more ne' 'ords to our native lan$ua$e1 CheaA ,ou%re #ein$ very snarky "or someone 'ho ;ust spit their co""ee all over someone, dongsaeng, ! said 'ith emphasis to'ards the end ! only called him don$saen$ 'hen ! 'as tryin$ to annoy him or 'hen he 'as #ein$ annoyin$ to me He rolled his eyes at me .ell, 'hat did you expect to happen1 ,ou said ! 'as ;ealous o" your #oy"riend 'hen in all actuality, he should #e ;ealous o" meA He does have a name, you kno', ! reminded him Oh, ! kno', he said o""handedly, ! ;ust choose not to use it ! shook my head !t 'as impossi#le 3ee Seun$ri and C'on 9iyon$ 'ould never $et alon$ !n the #e$innin$, 'hen 9iyon$ and ! "irst #e$an datin$, the t'o seemed like they liked one another !t 'asn%t until after our "irst #i$ "i$ht that Seun$ri #e$an to dislike 9iyon$ He used to #e polite a#out it? never talkin$ #ad a#out him in my presence or his, #ut lately, he%s #een a realFF! hate to use this 'ord, #ut it%s the only 'ord that ! think descri#es himR#i tch concernin$ the topic o" 9iyon$ 3ike today "or example, $ra##in$ my phone and declarin$ that 9iyon$ 'as an idiot, re"usin$ to call him #y his name? it ;ust sho's ho' much love he has "or him D$h, ! $roaned and #e$an to $et up .ell, ! need to $o and meet my boyfriend !%m $oin$ to assume that the #arista is $oin$ to o""er everythin$ that 'e ordered to #e on the house, so !%ll see you later, don$saen$A ! said the last #it in a particularly hi$h note and $ave him a small 'ave Seun$ri didn%t say anythin$ and instead opted to stick his ton$ue out at me 9ust as the door almost closed #ehind me, ! heard the #arista say, OmoA !%m so sorry that ! yelled at youA Ey mana$er made me do itA So to make up "or it, everythin$ that you ordered is on the house and !%d like to treat you to dinner toni$ht, too =is$ustin$ =id this 'oman have no shame1 ! mean she had to #e at least 4P and Seun$ri hadn%t even turned /0 yet B

Okay, !%m ;ust #ein$ very ;ealous o" Seun$ri%s smile 2 smile that could potentially $ive me a "ree li"etime supply o" co""ee i" ! had it .hy, li"e, 'hy1 ! 'as standin$ outside the 6uaint co""ee shop, #ut suddenly reali)ed that ! had no idea 'here this m]costume shop 'as 9ust as ! 'as a#out to take my phone out and messa$e 9iyon$ ;ust exactly 'here it 'as, ! sa' a "amiliar "i$ure 'alkin$ to'ards me =on$ &aeyan$ seriously had a knack o" sho'in$ up 'hen ! needed him the most ! think that%s one o" the only thin$s that $o ri$ht in my li"e 'hich is very sad, ! kno' &aeyan$A ! $reeted him happily 9ust the person ! needed to seeA (eally1 he asked me in a $enuine surprised tone ,eahA =o you kno' 'here this m]costume place is1 ! held up my phone, sho'in$ him the spellin$ o" the place, 9iyon$ told me to meet him there and !%ve never even heard o" it, ! s'ear ! sa' his "ace "all "or a second #e"ore he $ave me his usual smile Oh yeah, it%s actually t'o doors do'n "rom 9iyon$%s 'ork Oh, ! said, a #it put o"", 'ell, ! can never seem to "ind that place, soFF =o you 'ant me to #rin$ you there1 he asked 'ith a $rin Seriously, did this #oy ever stop smilin$1 Ho' does he not have a $irl"riend yet1 .ith that per"ect smile o" his, he should have a 'hole line up o" $irls to choose "rom ! nodded ea$erly ,es, pleaseA Dnless you have somethin$ else planned, like a date 'ith a $irl or somethin$1 He rolled his eyes at me and $ave me an amused smile 5ah, you kno' ho' ! am 2nd he #e$an to 'alk in the direction o" 9iyon$%s 'ork place ! 6uickly "ollo'ed him ,eah, ! do kno' ho' you are and that%s 'hy ! think you need to change &aeyan$ slo'ed his steps do'n and $ave me a stran$e look Chan$e1 ,esA 5ot completely chan$e your personality and lookRalthou$h, ! really think you should may#e $et rid o" those #raidsR#ut that%s not the point !n all the time that !%ve kno'n you, !%ve never seen you 'ith a $irl, ! said #ree)ily, as ! kept up 'ith his slo'er pace ,ou don%t like my #raids1 he asked me in mock hurt, holdin$ up a lon$ #raid 7ish, don%t try to i$nore the 6uestionA ! tried to say in a serious voice, #ut ! couldn%t help #ut smile 2nd yeah, you de"initely need to $et rid o" those #raids Eay#e that%s 'hy you don%t $et any dates? you have lon$er hair than most $irls and you look like one .haaaat1 he cried out and actually stopped 'alkin$ ! do not look like a $irlA 2nd ! $et plenty

o" dates 'ith $irlsA Chea, okay, ! said sarcastically, and continued 'alkin$ Ho' come ! never see these $irls1 Hey, you%re 'alkin$ in the 'ron$ direction, you%re supposed to turn le"t, he corrected me and steered me in the opposite direction .hy 'ould you need to see them1 Because, you need someone to approve o" themA 2nd, 9iyon$ does not count, at all He%d pro#a#ly #ase them on the clothes that they 'ere 'earin$ or ho' pretty they are So you think that%s 'hy 9iyon$ started datin$ you1 Because you 'ore nice clothes and you%re pretty1 &aeyan$ asked curiously ,ahA &aeyan$A &his is a#out you, not me, ! said, tryin$ to direct the conversation #ack to its ori$inal su#;ect Llus, once you "ind a $irl"riend, 'e can dou#le dateA ! happily clapped my hands, #ut &aeyan$ didn%t exactly have the same response (ather, he $ave me the usual @are you completely cra)y% look paired 'ith somethin$ else ! couldn%t exactly reco$ni)e 2i$oo[ &aeyan$, ! stopped 'alkin$ 'hich "orced &aeyan$ to stop as 'ell ,ou really should "ind a nice $irl or somethin$ #ecause you deserve it .o', Cim ,uri that 'as an extremely corny line But you should really $et rid o" those #raids, ! added as an a"terthou$ht &aeyan$ lau$hed and $ave me a li$ht push on the shoulder and #e$an 'alkin$, a$ain &hanks, ,uri, he said 'ithout turnin$ around 5o, !%m actually serious a#out the #raids, &aeyan$A ! cried out 'hen ! reali)ed he 'asn%t stoppin$ 2nd, 'here are you $oin$1 ,ou need to help me "ind this costume placeA &aeyan$1 Come #ack1 ! take #ack 'hat ! said a#out your hair and lookin$ like a $irl1 FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF &he costume shop 'as creepy &here 'as no other 'ord to descri#e it ! 'as surrounded #y do)ens o" manne6uins dressed up in costumes that ran$ed "rom a Tictorian lady to a $iant tomato &aeyan$ ended up $uidin$ me to the costume shop 'hich 'as exactly 4 doors "rom 9iyon$%s 'ork place (i$ht #e"ore he le"t, he said that he 'ould think a#out $ettin$ rid o" his #raids, #ut he made no promises .hen ! entered the shop, no one $reeted me, so ! 'as "orced to 'alk do'n the aisle alone 9iyon$1 ! said, althou$h not very loudly 5o ans'er Oh, 'hat the hell He kne' a#out my cra)y "ear o" manne6uins and yet he insisted that ! come to this costume shop

9ust as ! 'as a#out to turn around and leave, someone dressed in an extremely #ri$ht $old out"it and lar$e 'hite sun$lasses ;umped out in "ront o" me !k;asl";aslA ! cried out and stum#led onto the "loor .hat the hell1A Oh, sorry #a#e, ! didn%t think you%d "all like that ! scrunched my "ace in pain and #e$an ru##in$ my hip *there 'as de"initely $oin$ to #e a #ruise+ ! looked up to see 9iyon$ standin$ there holdin$ his hand out to me He looked B radiant But ! $uess 'earin$ an all $old out"it $ives you a #it on an aura *hat are you 'earin$1 ! asked, as ! placed my hand in his and he helped pull me up ! dusted my pants o"" and looked at 9iyon$ expectedly "or an ans'er 9iyon$ turned around to look at the "ull len$th mirror next to us He $ave me a side'ays $rin in the mirror and popped the se6uined collar up !t%s nice, isn%t it1 =e"initely 'orkin$ it ! couldn%t help #ut snicker 5ice 'as an interestin$ 'ay o" descri#in$ the ;acket =o you like it1 he asked me !t%s $old, ! stated ,eah1 !t%s $old and it has se6uins So1 !t%s $old, has se6uins and it%s "lashy ,our point1 !t%s $old, has se6uins, it%s "lashy and it%s u$ly D$ly1 5o 'ayA !t has B character B 5o, it%s u$ly 9iyon$ i$nored my last comment He slipped the sun$lasses o"" and un)ipped the ;acket to lay it on the ta#le ! like it ,ou kno' that it%s a part o" a costume "or someone "rom the UPs1 Or possi#ly the 0Ps1 2ctually, it kind o" reminds me o" a marchin$ #and out"it ,ou kno', i" a marchin$ #and decided to #e all $hetto and $o "or the "lashy and se6uined look ,ou should think a#out $oin$ #ack to playin$ trom#one 9iyon$ $ave me a stran$e look

!%m $ettin$ 'ay too many o" those looks these days 2ny'ays, he #e$an, completely i$norin$ my random comment, ! think it%s kind o" B hot1 He said the last 'ord 'ith that cheesy $rin o" his Hot1 Okay 9iyon$ !%m not even $oin$ to 6uestion your "ashion sense &he last time ! tried to talk 9iyon$ out o" #uyin$ somethin$, someho', he ended up makin$ me #uy somethin$ that 'as e6ually as u$ly as his ori$inal piece ! don%t even kno' ho' he did it C'on 9iyon$ ;ust has this 'ay o" makin$ you listen to him and then he slo'ly eases you into a$reein$ 'ith him So un"air Ho' come ! don%t have this talent1 ,eeeah, hot, ! said carelessly 'hile "in$erin$ the material o" a Tictorian dress #eside me .hy do you need this costume any'ays1 =o you have some random $i$1 <i$1 Hah, no !%m #uyin$ this ;acket "or everyday 'ear, he told me, as he put on his re$ular #lack coat Eh1 ,ou%re $oin$ to 'ear that in pu#lic1 ! asked, pointed to the "lashy ;acket in his arms He nodded and #e$an to 'alk to the main cash re$ister ! 'as a#out to say somethin$, #ut shut my mouth at the last minute ! didn%t 'ant to end up 'ith a matchin$ silver ;acket So you ;ust 'anted my opinion on your "lashy ;acket1 ! called out to him, stayin$ still in my spot 9iyon$ turned around and nodded Lsh 5o appreciation "or his $irl"riend, 'hatsoever Okay, 'ell then, !%m $oin$ to $o and not #e #linded #y that thin$ you call a ;acket in your hands, ! turned around to leave the shop, mutterin$ a#out 'hat an idiot he 'as and ho' this 'as such a 'aste o" time Hold onA ! smiled, thinkin$ that he 'as $oin$ to $et on his knees and #e$ "or my "or$iveness #ecause he 'as #ein$ a total ass ,eah, okay, sometimes ! can #e a #it delusional ! turned around to see 9iyon$ 'alkin$ in my direction, the u$ly $old ;acket still in his hands He stood directly in "ront o" me and "or t'o seconds he ;ust stood there? lookin$ at me 'ith that ridiculous $rin on his "ace

,ahA C'on 9iyon$A Hurry upA ! have placesFF But 'hatever ! 'anted to say 'as thro'n out the 'indo', #ecause that 'as 'hen 9iyon$ decided to lean "or'ard and capture my lips in a 6uick yet s'eet kiss C'on 9iyon$ had interestin$ taste in clothes and clearly had no appreciation "or me, #ut damn could he make you "or$et all o" that 'ith ;ust a simple kiss !%ll call you, later, okay1 he said 'ith a sli$ht t'inkle in his eye 'hen he pulled a'ay ! have to $et #ack to the ;o#? this 'as my lunch #reak ! ;ust 'anted to see you today ! simply nodded 'ith a da)ed look on my "ace 9iyon$ could%ve said anythin$ and ! 'ould pro#a#ly have nodded in the same stupid 'ay Cim ,uri, you have no 'ill po'er 'hen it comes to C'on 9iyon$ FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ! 'alked out o" the costume shop and s6uinted my eyes as they tried to read;ust to the li$ht &he #ri$ht sunli$ht 'as a complete contrast to the darkness o" the shop ! took out my phone to check the time, #ut reali)ed that it 'as playin$ a tune that si$naled that ! had received another messa$e Babo writes: "e.uins are flashy (old is bright Cant compare to %uri baby "hes like a flashlight ! couldn%t help #ut smile, ;ust a #it Okay, ! $uess the ;acket 'asn%t that u$ly FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF &here 'as no denyin$ that the "lashy "i$ure 'as C'on 9iyon$ ! could reco$ni)e that $old ;acket "rom a #illion miles a'ay Llus, only he 'ould 'ear somethin$ so u$ly that it 'ould #e called "ashiona#le -unny ho' "ashion 'orks ,ou 'ear somethin$ that you think is stylish and nice, #ut then you "ind out it%s completely outdated and "ro'ned upon &hen, you 'ear somethin$ "rumpy and #lindin$ to the eyes, and it%s called the next #i$ thin$ -ashion makes my head hurt sometimes Lut me in a com"orta#le hoodie and s'eats and !%m $ood

,oA Barista[ another espresso "or me, pesso1 Say 'hat1 ! "i$ured it 'as time to $et o"" memory lane and "ind my 'ay #ack into present time ! tore my $a)e a'ay "rom the entrance and "ound =aesun$ #ouncin$ up and do'n in his seat and strummin$ his "in$ers on the ta#le Ho' many cups o" espresso have you had1 ! asked curiously, 'hen ! reali)ed that he had "inished o"" his hot chocolate and no' he 'as surrounded #y 6uite a num#er o" small cups that could only have #een "illed 'ith espresso 5ot sureA he said happily and #e$an tappin$ the ta#le ! mi$ht have lost countA Bada #in$, #ada #oomA He tapped the chair and then decided to hit my head 'ith his hand #ecause clearly the ta#letops and chair didn%t o""er the same sound dynamic that he 'anted Drm, ! muttered, pushin$ his hand a'ay "rom my head Ey #a#y told me it $ets real toni$htttttt, =aesun$ crooned out loudly 'hile hittin$ the ta#le top 'ith his "in$ers, i" ! #ake her some pink cupcakes[ =id you spike your co""ee 'ith so;u, too1 ! 'hispered, 'hen ! sa' a num#er o" customers starin$ in our direction He had his eyes closed and shook his head His #ody #e$an movin$ to a #eat that only he could hear in his head Ho' B did you drink so many cups 'hen all ! did 'as ;ust turn around1 ! asked pickin$ up an empty cup Ba#e, you didn%t ;ust turn around B turn around B tuuuuuuuurn around[ every no' and then ! $et a little #it lonelyA =aesun$ had #e$un to sin$ a very "amiliar En$lish son$ that a lot o" us san$ durin$ karaoke sessions 2re you sure there%s no alcohol in your drink1 ! asked a$ain takin$ a sni"" o" the empty cup in my hand ! kno' people can $et very hyper and restless 'hen they drink ca""eine, #ut =aesun$ ;ust took it to a 'hole ne' level Eost de"initely, =aesun$ nodded ea$erly and 'aved do'n the #arista a$ain ,ou 'ere starin$ out that 'indo' "or at least /P minutes B ;ust one /P minute B ;ust one /P minute[ .as he sin$in$ Hyori no'1 5o seriously, do you have a small #ottle o" so;u on you or somethin$1 ! leaned over to see i" he had any outside sources o" alcohol on him Here%s your espresso, a youn$ #arista came to our ta#le and 'as a#out to place three small cups o" espresso onto the ta#le #ut ! held out a hand to stop her

Dm, ! think he%s had enou$h espresR Once a$ain, #e"ore ! could "inish my sentence, my cell phone interrupted me ! turned to ans'er it, #ut not #e"ore hittin$ =aesun$%s hand 'hen he tried to $ra# the espresso that the #arista had come to hand over Hello1 Hey, ,uri1 !t%s &aeyan$A Oh, hi, ho'%s it $oin$1 ! tried to say in a neutral tone 2"ter all, ! 'as still mi""ed that he had le"t 'ith Seun$hyun to stalk a /P year old so that she could help them stalk another $irl Okay so may#e Seun$hyun had dra$$ed him out o" the apartment, #ut &aeyan$ 'as a stron$ $uyA He could%ve $otten out o" his hold i" he 'anted to Dh, $ood 3isten, !%m sorry a#out ;ust leavin$ you earlier &hat &OL $uy B is kind o" cra)y Hah, no really1 ! said sarcastically B ,eah, !%ll tell you a#out it later So 'here are you1 2t the co""ee shop 'ithFF Co""ee shop1 .hat1 SorryBconnection, &he usual co""ee shopRdon%t drink anymoreA ! $ave =aesun$ a $lare 'hen he tried to si$nal the #arista to come over a$ain Sorry1 &he usual co""ee place1 !%m actually ri$ht around the corner "rom that place, ,uri ! can meetRoh, yoA <=A Hello1 &aeyan$1 ,uri1 B 5ah, ! 'as talkin$ to B ,oorim ,ou kno' that hot $irl "rom last 'eek1 ,eah Dh B helloooo1 .hat1 B you B kissin$1 5oB 9iyon$ =id he ;ust say 9iyon$1 Or 'as the connection ;ust that #ad &aeyan$1 ! can%t hear youA ,our connection%s messed upA Oh, okay ,o ,oorim, !%ll catch up 'ith you later, #ye HE33O1 But, he had hun$ up Oh, 'hat the "reakin$ hell, ! murmured to mysel"

=id he ;ust call me ,oorim1 2nd had he #umped into 9iyon$ or 'as ! ;ust hearin$ thin$s1 .ho 'as that1 =aesun$ asked, as he held out his hands in "ront o" him? tryin$ to steady his shakin$ "in$ers &aeyan$, ! told him, as ! poked a random cup Okay, let%s $o #ack, ! think you%re all hyped up no' a"ter your, ! looked do'n to count the small cups, nine cups o" espresso .ho kne' i" &aeyan$ 'as $oin$ to sho' up or not1 =aesun$ $ave me a hu$e smile and a thum#s up OC2,, ,D(!FCD(!A B 5ote to sel": never let =aesun$ #e in a K meter radius o" espresso FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ,ou kno', ! "eel 2 3O& happierA =aesun$ said, as 'e 'alked do'n the #usy street !t 'as almost ten, #ut the streets 'ere still #ustlin$ 'ith li"e (andom school $irls 'ere 'alkin$ 'ith linked arms tryin$ to keep 'arm "rom the chilly ni$ht air? and a num#er o" #usiness people 'ere sittin$ at ta#les 'aitin$ "or the street vendor a;uhmma to serve them so;u 2ll in all, it 'as a very #usy ni$ht "or a .ednesday .ell considerin$ that you had nine cups o" espresso, it%d #e disappointin$ i" you 'eren%t so happy, ! told him ,eah, or it could #e totallyRHE,A =aesun$ suddenly stopped mid step and pointed to the community centre #uildin$ .hat is it1 ! looked in the direction that =aesun$ pointed #ut couldn%t see anythin$ o" interest &he si$nA he told me, and dra$$ed me #y the arm to the #ulletin #oard situated next to the #uildin$ ! leaned in to read the red si$n that he had pointed at: &oni$ht 7 Support <roup Eeetin$s: Sel" Esteem !ssues, (elationship LroFF Oh, no, no 'ayA ! exclaimed, and tried to 'alk a'ay &here%s no 'ay that !%m $oin$ to a support $roup meetin$ Come on, ,uriA =aesun$ said $lee"ully, as he $ra##ed my hand and pulled me in the direction o" the entrance &his is like a si$n "rom the heavensA !t is not a si$n "rom the heavensA !t%s more like a total coincidence, ! tried to stay rooted in my spot ! am per"ectly sane and normal ,eah, havin$ an entire kitchen "illed 'ith hundreds o" cupcakes is completely normal, he

ar$ued, tryin$ to pull me once a$ain !t%s totally normalA 2nd !%m not, ! t'isted my arm out o" his $rasp, $oin$ inside 5ope, no 'ay, never in a million years ! crossed my arms and $ave him a de"iant look Ee1 <oin$ to a support $roup meetin$1 H2H 5ot a chance FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Hi, !%m =aesun$ and one o" my #i$$est issues is 'omen, he told the $roup, 'hile his le"t le$ continued to shake, actually, ! think they are the cause o" my pro#lem ! really 'anted to ;ust slouch do'n lo'er on this uncom"orta#le chair and possi#ly die Oh and dra$ Can$ =aesun$ 'ith me, too .e 'ere in 'hat appeared to #e a small classroom, #ut all the desks 'ere pushed to the side &here 'ere a#out /P people in the room and 'e 'ere seated in hard and uncom"orta#le chairs that 'ere arran$ed in a circle (eally1 &hat%s not uncommon at all &he opposite sex is usually the main tri$$er "or such pro#lems 'e%re dealin$ 'ith today, the $roup leader, 9ihee, replied in a carin$ tone, and motioned "or =aesun$ to continue .ell, it all started 'ith my "irst $irl"riend in $rade / She 'as completely adora#leA She had chu##y cheeks and short curly hair (i$ht #e"ore class #e$an that day, ! ran up to her and $ave her this homemade card !t had a heartR'ell, it looked more like a starRand it said, @! 3!CE ,OD, H,O9OOA% 2"ter school, 'hile 'e 'ere 'aitin$ "or our parents, she told me that she liked me, too Everythin$ 'as "ine "or a "e' days, and then she started to 'ant to eat my lunch, and since ! liked her so much, ! 'ould $ive it to her, even i" it meant that ! 'ould starve ! "i$ured that love 'as #i$$er than eatin$, ri$ht1 But then, she 'anted my crayons, and at "irst ! 'as hesitant, #ut ! $ave it to her any'ays But it didn%t stop at crayons, she 'anted my toy cat, then my note#ook and then "inally she 'anted my =oraemon toyA ! think that%s 'hen ! dre' the line and said that ! couldn%t $ive it to her She #roke up 'ith me a"ter that #ecause she said ! liked material thin$s more than her She said that ! didn%t pay attention to her emotional needs (i$ht a"ter he "inished his story, the $irls in the room all @a''ed% and the room 'as "illed 'ith, poor oppaA and that%s so meanA 'hile =aesun$ #lushed Eh1 So this curly haired $irl 'as the cause o" =aesun$%s issues1 &hat%s 'hy you have such pro#lems 'ith the opposite sex1 Because o" your "irst $irl"riend in $rade one1 9ihee asked, a"ter the room had 6uieted do'n .ell, no Ey third $irl"riend is actually the cause o" my pro#lems, =aesun$ explained, 'hile both o" his le$s #e$an shakin$ Her name 'as 9ieun and this 'as a#out t'o years a$o 2"ter Hyo;oo, ! didn%t date "or a "e' years 9ieun 'as a $irl that 'as tutorin$ me and she said ! 'as

smart, #ut ! ;ust didn%t challen$e mysel" enou$h Someho' 'e ended up datin$ and ! still had 'hat Hyo;oo said in my head, even thou$h ! 'as only in $rade / at that time So, since Hyo;oo said ! didn%t care enou$h, ! "i$ured that ! should try and care more !n the #e$innin$, ! $ave her so much attention <ave her material thin$s and paid attention to her emotionally ! think 9ieun really appreciated it at "irst, #ut then, she started to i$nore all my calls Believe me, ! called her a lot Even #e"ore she stopped ans'erin$ my calls, ! 'ould usually call her K times a day #ecause, you kno', ! needed to pay attention to her emotional needs &hen one day, she le"t me a messa$e on my ans'erin$ machine sayin$ that ! 'as too clin$y and she couldn%t handle it &he same chorus o" poor oppaA and that%s so mean echoed throu$hout the room once a$ain Can$ =aesun$ is a real pity story, huh1 So in your "irst pro#lem, your $rade / $irl"riend claimed that you didn%t $ive her enou$h emotional attention1 9ihee asked so"tly =aesun$ nodded and his le"t le$ ceased shakin$ &hen 'ith your other $irl"riend, you $ave her too much attention1 ,eah, sounds a #it ri$ht, =aesun$ said tappin$ his "in$ers on his knee =id you ever think o" a compromise1 Oh, ! =!=A he said dramatically &hen she #roke up 'ith me and #ecame a les#ian B =on%t lau$h, ,uri, don%t lau$h &his is a serious situationA ! could tell that a ma;ority o" the people in the room 'ere in the same situation as me &hey had their lips ti$htly pursed, #ut ! could tell they 'ere all tryin$ not to #urst out lau$hin$ So ho' did all these "ailed relationships make you "eel1 the $roup leader asked him 'ith a hint o" a smile 2s i" it 'as my "ault that all my relationships "ailed =o you think it%s your "ault1 .ell, yeah, he replied, ! mean, all the $irls said that it 'asn%t me, #ut them, #ut 'e all kno' that%s ;ust #ull, ri$ht1 !t%s al'ays meA .hy else 'ould they #reak up 'ith me1 -or a relationship to 'ork, it%s a team e""ort Once one person 6uits, then everythin$ "ails, 9ihee explained =id you ever 6uit1 5oA ! put my everythin$ into relationships !%ve never #roken up 'ith a $irl #e"ore, they all #reak up 'ith me "irst

.ell, did you ever consider that they don%t put their everythin$ into relationships1 &hat in "act, it is them that aren%t tryin$ enou$h to make the relationship 'ork1 .hy 'ould they #reak up 'ith me then1 &he only excuse is that they don%t like me and there"ore ! am doin$ somethin$ 'ron$, =aesun$ solemnly and #e$an to tap his "oot (elationships are very tricky thin$s, 9ihee explained .hat you may 'ant isn%t particularly 'hat someone else 'ants Communication is the key H2HA CommunicationA O" course, ! communicatedA =id you "or$et my 'hole callin$ 9ieun K times a day1 !" that%s not communication then ! don%t kno' 'hat is, he said and crossed his arms &he #oy could not stop movin$ 5ot that type o" communication, she corrected him, ! meant the type 'here you #oth sit do'n and talk a#out your needs and 'ants in a relationship Oh, ! don%t think !%ve ever had B one o" those talks, =aesun$ said in a distant voice, as i" he 'as si"tin$ throu$h his memories o" his past $irl"riends Oppa, ! think you ;ust assume a $irl 'ants somethin$ and you do it 'ithout even reali)in$ that it mi$ht not #e 'hat she 'ants, a youn$ $irl, three seats a'ay "rom me, said to =aesun$ in a 6uiet voice .hat 'as it 'ith youn$er people #ein$ smarter than me1 5one o" your "ailed relationships are completely your "ault, 9ihee #e$an, #ut everyone plays a part in a "ailed relationship 2re you sayin$ that & 'as a cause o" the "ailed relationships1 =aesun$ said, pointin$ to himsel", al#eit, his "in$er 'as shakin$, #ut ca""eine does do that to you 5o one can $o completely #lameless in a #reak up, 9ihee tried to explain ,our main pro#lem, like Sun$ah said, is that you can%t assume that 'hat you think your $irl"riend 'ants, is 'hat she really 'ants Oh, =aesun$ said simply, as i" he "inally understood ! couldn%t help #ut sit #ack and #e ama)ed Son$ 9ihee, you are a $enius !%ve #een tryin$ to $et =aesun$ out o" this slump "or months and you come alon$ 'ith your #rilliant 'ords and voilaA He%s cured Can ! hire you to solve all o" my pro#lems, too1 .o', ! never looked at it that 'ay, he had "inally stopped shakin$, and all it took 'as a support $roup meetin$ "or relationship issues Dm, actually, 9ihee told us, ! think you%re in the 'ron$ support $roup &his is room 477 and 'e%re the @teena$ers 'ho possess sel" esteem issues% ! think you%re lookin$ "or @relationship

issues% $roup1 &hat%s in the next room to the le"t Oh, =aesun$ simply said and then paused #ut 6uickly replied, 'ell, ! have a #it o" sel" esteem issues, tooA 9ihee $ave him a small smile .ell, ! $uess ! can%t stop you "rom stayin$ =aesun$ #eamed 5o', ! 'ant to $o around the circle and ! 'ant each o" you to say somethin$ $ood a#out yoursel", 9ihee instructed us =aesun$, 'hy don%t you $o "irst ! have sexy le$s, =aesun$ said 'ith a strai$ht "ace B H2H2H2 .H2&1 &he $irls around him $i$$led, 'hile the men $ave him dis$usted looks Oh, ! meant nice le$s, =aesun$ 6uickly corrected himsel" and then leaned over to 'hisper to me, do you think 'e%re allo'ed to say @sexy% in this environment1 Should ! have said @#eauti"ul le$s%1 ! hope ! didn%t o""end anyone Oh, Can$ =aesun$ Dm, $ood B !%m $lad that you%re so proud o" your B nice le$s, 9ihee tried to say 'ith a strai$ht "ace, ho' a#out you1 ! looked around and reali)ed that everyone 'as starin$ at me Ee1 Dh, !%m B 'ell, ! make everyone look sane1 ! tried ,ou make everyone look sane1 9ihee repeated ,eah, she de"initely makes everyone look sane, includin$ me ,uri%s a real nutcase, =aesun$ said, punchin$ me in the shoulder She%s made a#out 0PP cupcakes in the past t'o 'eeks ! turned to sco'l at =aesun$%s impromptu proclamation amidst everyone%s $asps Come on, 0PP cupcakes in 4 'eeks isn%t that #ad Seven hundred cupcakes1 9ihee said tentatively ,ou really are cra)y, said the $irl to my le"t .hat is 'ron$ 'ith you1 Excuse me1 Says the person that couldn%t leave her home #ecause she "ound a pimple on her nose1

.hy did you #ake seven hundred cupcakes1 9ihee asked me in her usual so"t voice 5o reason B ! ;ust like to #ake1 ! said in a hope"ully convincin$ tone !t 'asn%t 5o you don%tA =aesun$ turned to 9ihee She%s completely not over her exF#oy"riend 'hich is 'hy she%s $one cra)y and started her o'n personal cupcake #usiness &hanks, =aesun$, thanks ! am over himA &he $roup looked at me, completely, unconvinced Okay, may#e !%m not completely over him, ! tried a$ain ! kno' this is a sel" esteem support $roup, #ut ! think 'e can spare a "e' minutes on this pro#lem, 9ihee told the $roup, i" you%ve made 0PP cupcakes in 4 'eeks, ! think there%s a #i$$er issue &he $roup nodded in a$reement .o', move over, Can$ =aesun$ !%ve o""icially #ecome the pity case o" the ni$ht So 'ho is this #oy1 .as it a serious relationship1 9ihee asked .ell, ! don%t thinkFF O- COD(SE, !& .2S 2 SE(!ODS (E32&!O5SH!LA =aesun$ suddenly yelled out, 'hich made me 'iden my eyes and cause several o" the people in the room to push their chairs #ack Oops, sorryA &hose nine cups o" espresso are really $ettin$ to me 5o, really1 Dm, any'ays, 9ihee said cautiously, as i" scared that =aesun$ 'ould erupt into another out#urst, do continue Dh, ! $uess it 'as sort of serious .e did $o out "or a#out a year ,ou didn%t see the #reak up comin$1 !s that 'hy you%ve #een puttin$ your everythin$ into cupcake #akin$1 Holy crap .as Son$ 9ihee some kind o" mind reader, too1 .ell, yeah, o" course ! didn%t see it comin$, ! said care"ully ! ;ust al'ays assumed that 'e 'ould ;ust $et #ack to$ether #ecause 'e%re that couple, you kno'1 &he couple that "i$hts and acts stupid, #ut in the end they al'ays $et #ack to$etherA So, excuse me "or thinkin$ that ! 'ould #e #ack to$ether 'ith C'on 9iyon$, ri$ht no' !t 'as i" the "lood $ates had opened &he second the 'ords started comin$ out o" my mouth, ! couldn%t stop

,our exF#oy"riend is C'on 9iyon$1 a $irl, no older than /8, cried out OhA He%s a really $ood rapperA .hoa C'on 9iyon$ has "an$irls1 ,eahA Sometimes his "ree stylin$ is a #it o"", #ut he%s not #ad, said a #oy 2nd "an#oys1 Okay, okay, #ack to ,uri, 9ihee calmed the $roup do'n ,ou%re the on a$ain and o"" a$ain couple ,ou kno' those types o" relationships are #ased on #ein$ comfortable, ri$ht1 Com"orta#le1 Ey con"usion must have #een evident #ecause she smiled in response Sometimes, 'e%re scared o" takin$ risks and experiencin$ somethin$ different So instead o" $oin$ out and takin$ that leap, 'e revert #ack to our old 'ays and $o #ack to that person 'ho makes us "eel sa"e Sa"e1 ! don%t kno' B Eay#e you should look at this #reak up like a #lessin$ in dis$uise, 9ihee said, leanin$ "or'ard 2 #lessin$ in dis$uise1 ! don%t kno' a#out you, #ut most #lessin$s don%t make me $o completely cra)y and #ake 0PP cupcakes in t'o 'eeks, ! retorted 5o, she smiled ! meant that may#e this #reak up 'ill "inally allo' you to take that leap? take some risks? "ind somethin$ or someone that doesnt make you "eel sa"e Eay#e this #reak up 'ill let you make that chan$e in your li"e ! leaned "or'ard 'ith my el#o's on my knees and my hands cuppin$ my "ace ! never thou$ht o" it that 'ay !%m not sayin$ that you should $o out and do somethin$ completely cra)y and ille$al, #ut you kno', ;ust keep it in the #ack o" your head, yeah1 9ihee said to me, and then turned to the $roup Okay, San$'onA Ho' a#out you tell me somethin$ $ood a#out yoursel"1 Son$ 9ihee, you are my ne' hero Somethin$ that doesn%t make me "eel sa"e1 2 ne' chan$e in my li"e1 !nterestin$ Eay#e she 'as ri$ht FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Son$ 9ihee is #rilliant, =aesun$ proclaimed, i" she didn%t kno' o" my crappy datin$ past and 'as a#out K years youn$er, ! 'ould de"initely ask "or her num#er ! sco""ed Lretty sure you $ot enou$h phone num#ers today HeyA !t%s a 'inF'in situationA &hose $irls have sel" esteem pro#lems, so $ivin$ me their num#ers 'ill help overcome their issues Ee $ettin$ the num#ers 'ill help me overcome my datin$ past So, 'e all 'in, =aesun$ said happily ! rolled my eyes, and stayed 6uiet ,ou kno' 'ho else needs a support $roup1 =aesun$ said suddenly, as 'e #e$an to 'alk to'ards the exit .ho1 &aeyan$, he said simply .hy1 He%s the most normal one out o" all o" us, ! told him !t 'as true Sometimes ! think &aeyan$ is the one person 'ho%s keepin$ all o" us "rom completely $oin$ loopy and checkin$ ourselves into a mental institution 5o, he%s hun$ up on this $irl, ! think ! stopped 'alkin$ .hat1 (eally1 .ho is it1 ! have to say ! 'as extremely curious as to 'ho this ne' $irl in &aeyan$%s li"e 'as and ho' 6uickly he had moved on "rom B 'ell, me (emem#er the 'hole, li$ht s'itch on and li$ht s'itch o"" thin$1 .ell, you%re seein$ it #ein$ played out ri$ht no' 'ith =on$ &aeyan$ One month a$o he 'as smitten 'ith me and no' he had already "ound a ne' $irl to #e hun$ up on =aesun$ shru$$ed and then suddenly did a lurch "or'ard ! stood in place, as ! 'atched =aesun$ ;ump across the lon$ hall'ay Ca""eine had a really cra)y e""ect on him ,o1 ,uriF#uriA ,ou comin$ or not1 he yelled out "rom the end o" the hall'ay ,uri #uri1 ,ep, no more espresso "or Can$ =aesun$ "or a very lon$ time FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF 2lri$htA =aesun$ said 'ith a $iant smile 'hen 'e "ound ourselves #ack outside !%m ready to make cupcakesA 3ead the 'ayA He pointed to the air and #e$an rockin$ #ack and "orth on the #alls o" his "eet Clearly, he 'as still on a ca""eine hi$h

! pushed my lo'er lip out, si$nalin$ that ! 'as in deep thou$ht ! never thou$ht that $oin$ to a support $roup, al#eit the 'ron$ one, and #ein$ surrounded my stran$ers 'ould help me see the li$ht Sort o" .ell, it 'as enou$h to $et me out o" my sudden cupcake #akin$ ho##y 2ctually, let%s ;ust $o to that 4Q hour store and #uy some cupcakes or somethin$, ! told him =aesun$ 'idened his eyes and $asped dramatically .hat1 ! asked, lookin$ around me to see i" somethin$ 'as happenin$ He took a step closer to me and 'hispered, ,ou 'ant to buy already made cupcakes1 !sn%t that #reakin$ some kind o" unspoken rule amon$st #akers1 ! have to say, ! think ! like @hi$h on ca""eine% =aesun$ a lot more than mopin$ and normal =aesun$ FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF !%m not sure i" leavin$ =aesun$ to 'alk home alone 'as a $ood idea, #ecause he 'as still on that ca""eine hi$h o" his ! really didn%t 'ant to think 'hat 'ould happen to him i" he came "ace to "ace 'ith some random $an$ster that 'as t'ice his si)e Somethin$ tells me he 'ould #urst into that @&urn around% son$ and point his "in$er at him <od speed, Can$ =aesun$, $od speed .hen ! $ot #ack to my empty apartment, ! "ound mysel" completely surrounded #y cupcakes once a$ain !nstead o" "eelin$ ea$er and anxious to continue #akin$, ! no' ;ust "elt like my normal sel": la)y, and dis$usted #y the mess #ut un'illin$ to clean it .elcome #ack, sane ,uri ! thre' my coat on the purple couch and made my 'ay into the cupcake "illed kitchen ! care"ully ;umped over the t'o trays on the $round and #e$an rumma$in$ throu$h the "rid$e "or any si$ns o" "ood Dmma had le"t me 'ith a 'ell stocked "rid$e #e"ore she le"t and enou$h money "or me to not starve 'hile she 'as $one on her one month vacation But since ! have #een sli$htly insane "or the past "e' 'eeks, the "rid$e 'as practically empty and 'hat 'as le"t o" it 'ere in$redients "or cupcakes *'hich is 'hat most o" the money umma has le"t me 'ent to'ards+ Shockin$ly, ! "ound a #o'l o" udon in the "ar #ack #ehind the "our cartons o" e$$s and six tu#s o" cream !%m pretty sure that it 'as edi#le, 'ell, at least ! hope it 'as ! kno', ! kno' !" ! 'as smart, ! 'ould pro#a#ly chuck that udon in the $ar#a$e, #ut it%s almost midni$ht and ! 'ould really like to eat some real "ood and not somethin$ extremely colour"ul and "illed 'ith su$ar

! placed the #o'l o" udon in the micro'ave "or QP seconds and then turned #ack around to look at the state o" my kitchen 9ust as ! 'as a#out to think a#out the possi#ility o" maybe pickin$ up some o" the trays on the $round, there 'as a loud knock on the door .as it really a $ood idea to ans'er the door1 !t 'as nearin$ midni$ht and the 'hole #lack market sellers tar$etin$ youn$ $irls and small cats 'as still stuck in my head ! $uess it%s a $ood thin$ that ! don%t o'n a cat ! 'as thinkin$ o" even callin$ Seun$ri 'hen the knock #ecame more persistent, #ut then ! heard, ,OA ,D(!A Open upA Hmm &aeyan$1 ! opened the door and "ound mysel" "ace to "ace 'ith &aeyan$ He had his ri$ht hand on the door"rame, as i" he 'as tryin$ to #alance himsel" and his clothes seemed rustled and his expression $rave Somethin$, de"initely, 'asn%t ri$ht &aeyan$1 ! asked care"ully, 'hat are you doin$ here1 Hey, he said "rankly, can ! come in1 Even i" ! had said no, it 'ould%ve #een all in vain, #ecause he pushed past me and 'alked into my apartment ! closed the door #ehind me and turned my attention #ack to &aeyan$ .hat are you doin$ here so late1 ! repeated So ! heard "rom 9iyon$ you 'ere kissin$ another $uy at the co""ee shop1 he asked me politely, #ut the usual smile on his "ace 'as no'here to #e "ound Oh my $od, you kno' he really is turnin$ into a kissin$ monsFF ! really should hate you, ri$ht no', Cim ,uri, &aeyan$ said seriously, cuttin$ me o"" "rom my sentence Excuse me1 =o 'e really 'ant to ackno'led$e the elephant, ri$ht no'1 Hate me1 !%m not the one 'ho ended thin$sA ! cried out, assumin$ he 'as talkin$ a#out 9iyon$ and ! ,our #est "riend is the one 'ho decided to #reak up 'ith me on Talentine%s =ay o" all daysA 2nd you 'ant to hate me1 ,ou tell him that usually 'hen people #reak up, they see other peopleA ! $uess the elephant%s out in the open no' !%m #ein$ the shi ttiest "riend in the 'orld, he said calmly, as i" he hadn%t heard my out#urst ! "ind my #est "riend 'alkin$ do'n the street and he tells me he sees his ex kissin$ some other $uy in a co""ee shop !nstead o" "eelin$ sorry "or him, ! start "eelin$ sorry "or mysel" .ell, 'hy should you even "eel sorry "or him1 He%s the oneFF

Oh, hold on .hat did he ;ust say1 &hen someho' the idea o" $oin$ out and ;ust $ettin$ completely 'asted someho' came up1 &aeyan$ said in the "orm o" a 6uestion, as i" he 'asn%t sure i" it had happened or not 5o 'onder he 'as so calm and serious .hen people drink, they usually $et loud and o#noxious #ut 'ith &aeyan$, he 'as the opposite &he only clear e""ects that alcohol had on &aeyan$ 'as that he seemed a #it harder and 'as extremely honest %ou have #een drinkin$, ! told him in a "rank tone, may#e you should ;ust stop talkin$ #e"ore you re$ret all this tomorro', &aeyan$ ,eah, that and ! can pretend this situation never happened #ecause i" ! think you%re $oin$ to say 'hat ! think you%re $oin$ to say, 'ell B 5o, he told me, and tried to 'alk over to the couch #ut the so;u 'as clearly startin$ to a""ect him #ecause he stum#led a #it !n "act, let%s $et it all out ri$ht no' ! like you Omo 2ctually, 'hen ! told you ! ;ust 'anted to #e "riends? that 'as a lie Since you can move on 'ith some random $uy at the co""ee shop, 'hy can%t you move on 'ith me1 he asked, his voice risin$ more and more =ou#le omo &aeyan$A ,ou%re completely 'asted, ! told him, tryin$ to i$nore his con"ession Oh, ! kne' 'hat he 'as sayin$ 'as the truth #ecause there%s no such thin$ as lyin$ 'hen &aeyan$ and so;u are involved, #ut talkin$ a#out it, ri$ht at this moment, 'asn%t $oin$ to solve anythin$ He 'as most likely $oin$ to "or$et this 'hole incident the next day ! think that you should $o home 5oA Since 'e%re $ettin$ everything out in the open no', he ar$ued, and #e$an to 'alk #ack and "orth 2ctually it 'as pretty ama)in$ that he could still 'alk, ri$ht no' !t%s like you think ! have some kind o" s'itch inside me that can make me turn my "eelin$s on and o"" =o you think that1 .hy yes, yes ! do think that you have a li$ht s'itch inside o" you, ;ust like every other #oy .ell, this may #e a ne's "lash to you, Cim ,uri, #ut despite 'hat you may think, ! can%t turn it on and o"" !n "act, !%ve tried to turn it o"", ! really have, #ut the repair man says that !%m a lost cause ! have a permanent on s'itch in me, and ! can%t "ix itA &he thin$ is, ! don%t even kno' i" ! 'ant to "ix itA he 'as practically yelling at this point 'hich 'as an indication that he 'as seriously pissed out o" his mind ! had to admit thou$h, drunk &aeyan$, you come up 'ith some ama)in$ metaphors, #ut that is #eside the point ! turned my #ack to him and 'alked to'ards the "ront door, still i$norin$ the situation at hand &aeyan$, ! really think you need toR

9!:) .hat the B ! turned my head #ack into the livin$ room and sa' a crumpled mess that 'as &aeyan$ on the $round !nstead o" "allin$ #ack'ards onto the couch, he had "allen sideways and 'as no' ;ust completely passed out on the "loor =id ! mention that even thou$h &aeyan$ may not act like a drunken idiot, he does tend to pass out 6uite easily .hat in the 'orld 'as ! supposed to do no'1 &here really 'ere no other options than to ;ust let him stay here #ecause 'ho 'as ! supposed to call1 9iyon$ 'as out o" the 6uestion, ! didn%t have =aesun$%s num#er and callin$ either Eunyoun$ or Seun$ri 'ould ;ust lead to a #rutal 6uestionin$ as to 'hy he 'as here drunk in the "irst place and ! hadn%t told any one a#out &aeyan$%s previous con"essions ! had a "eelin$ that i" either o" those t'o asked me anythin$, !%d end up spillin$ everythin$ ! came to the conclusion o" lettin$ him stay in the livin$ room, and B tomorro' 'ould 'ork itsel" out ! #ent do'n to possibly li"t him up o"" o" the $round and onto the so"a, #ut ! then reali)ed that ! 'as no Super$irl and that &aeyan$ 'as heavy &hat and ! didn%t exactly "eel com"orta#le havin$ my arms all around his unconscious #ody Even thou$h he 'as completely covered in layers o" clothin$, ! could still "eel the #ul$in$ muscles underneath him 'hen ! tried to li"t him HE,, ! may not accept his "eelin$s to'ards me, #ut ! 2E 2 5O(E23 &EE52<E= <!(3 'ho appreciates a "ine male specimen 'ith an e6ually "ine #ody B Oh, shush !t%s not like you 'ouldn%t have "elt the same 'ay ! settled "or thro'in$ a pink #lanket over his passed out "orm on the $round ! sat on the couch "or a lon$ time contemplatin$ 'hat had ;ust occurred ! honestly thou$ht that this situation 'ith &aeyan$ 'as over and done 'ith 2pparently not !t 'asn%t until ! smelled somethin$ #urnin$ that ! ;umped out o" my seat .hat the hell could ! haveRudonA .ho #urns thin$s in the E!C(O.2TE1 ! rushed over to the kitchen and reali)ed that instead o" punchin$ in QP seconds, ! had punched in QP minutes ,ou are one smart cookie, Cim ,uri

&he second ! opened the micro'ave, smoke erupted out o" it? completely cloudin$ my vision ! 'aved my hands in the air, hopin$ to clear it a'ay Once ! could semi see, ! looked inside the micro'ave and "ound completely black udon noodles starin$ #ack at me -antastic ! couldn%t help #ut 'onder i" ! 'ould "ind an entry like this in the massive #ook my parents le"t me: !" you have no "ood #ecause you 'ere stupid enou$h to #urn it in the micro'ave and you used up the months% supply o" simple in$redients on cupcakes B ,eah, not likely <reat ;o# Cim ,uri 5ot only are you $oin$ to starve toni$ht #ut you have a drunken "ool 'ho ;ust admitted his true "eelin$s to you, passed out on your livin$ room "loor 2in%t li"e $rand1

Chapter &en, Lart One

5ever had ! ever 'oken up so 'arm and com"orta#le #e"ore Ey eyes 'ere still closed? not 'antin$ to completely 'ake up and "ace reality ! si$hed contentedly, and snu$$led deeper into the scratchy #lanket and tried to return to my dream 'here ! 'as married to =ennis Oh and 'e had "orty "ive #eauti"ul #a#ies B Hold on ! don%t have a scratchy #lanket !n "act, the #lanket that ! o'ned 'as like sleepin$ on a cloud, ! s'ear Seun$ (i has tried to steal it on numerous occasions, #ut !%ve stopped him every time &he "act that it 'as pink and had hearts and rain#o's all over it didn%t matter to him? the so"tness made up "or it !, also, never 'oke up 'arm and co)y Ever since ! 'as "ive, ! had developed the ha#it o" kickin$ o"" everythin$ on my #ed in the middle o" the ni$ht !n the mornin$s, ! 'ould "ind mysel" huddled in the "etal position and al'ays cold and shiverin$ 2ll o" my #lankets, pillo's and stu""ed toys could #e "ound on the $round in the early mornin$ B .hat the hell1 .here 'as !1 .hen the reali)ation that ! might not #e in my o'n room "inally hit me, my eyes popped open and ! ;umped into a sittin$ position? knockin$ the scratchy #lanket o"" o" me

(i$ht 3ime $reen #edroom1 Check ! #linked several times, tryin$ to read;ust my si$ht to the #ri$htness o" my room =amn, ! really needed to paint the 'alls into a royal plum colour, or at the very least, a neutral colour 9ust a colour that didn%t make me $o #lind in the mornin$s 'ould #e "ine Clothes in tact1 ChecRe', ! need ne' py;amas Ey &Fshirt 'as at least three si)es too #i$ and it had a very inappropriate messa$e *!%m a sex #om#, i$nite meA+ on it Eun ,oun$ needs to start $ivin$ me clothes that !%ll actually 'ear in pu#lic "or my #irthdays ! 'as also 'earin$ a pair o" ratty Hello Citty py;ama pants that 'ere a#out 4P centimetres too short 5othin$ out o" place1 Check ! 'as still in my room, sa"e and sound 5o evidence o" cra)y cat snatchers or kidnappers in si$ht <od, ! 'as so paranoid these days &he 'hole @livin$ on my o'n 'ith no parents to take care o" me% thin$ really 'asn%t 'orkin$ out, so 'ell ! can%t even ima$ine 'hen !%m married and my hus#and expects me to cook and clean the house Oh, 'ell ! hope he doesn%t mind livin$ o"" o" instant noodles "or the rest o" his li"e and isn%t a$ainst hirin$ a maid But, you kno', ! shouldn%t 'orry a#out these thin$s #ecause !%m only /I &hat, and my "uture hus#and is =aniel Henney there"ore ! don%t have to 'orry a#out cookin$ and cleanin$ #ecause he%ll do all o" that "or me #ecause he is per"ect !%m a little delusional in the mornin$s, as you can tell ! "in$ered the scratchy, pink #lanket that had ;ust #een coverin$ my #ody 4 minutes a$o, #ut 'as no' in a crumpled mess at the "oot o" my #ed due to my sudden ackno'led$ement o" the situation ! stopped my movements 'hen ! reali)ed that this #lanket didn%t even #elon$ in my room !n "act, this pink #lanket 'as the one 'e kept in the livin$ room "or those 'ho 'anted to take a 6uick nap #ut 'ere too la)y to 'alk to their o'n #eds !t 'as, also, the pink #lanket that ! had thro'n over a passed out &ae ,an$ on my livin$ room "loor, last ni$ht Oh, my $od He sa' my u$ly py;amas Ey overly sexuali)ed &Fshirt and ratty Hello Citty py;amas 2t least, ! 'asn%t 'earin$ that teal #a#y doll set that Seun$ (i $ave me "or a $i"t Okay, ! kno' 'hat you%re thinkin$ and ! 'ant you to stopA Seun$ (i thinks that ! don%t act like a $irl and that ! dress like a complete homeless person? a 7K year old male homeless person to #e exact He%s told me countless times that ! should try 'earin$ $irly clothes and attempt to look sexy, every no' and then !%m sorry i" ! like hoodies and s'eats more than mini skirts and tank tops 2lthou$h ! lau$hed in his "ace 'hen he told me

this, ! 'as a #it o""ended &he next day, umma $ave me a packa$e at #reak"ast, sayin$ that it 'as "rom Seun$ (i Expectin$ it to #e a #ox o" apolo$y cupcakes, ! 6uickly tore the #ox open, ri$ht there at the kitchen ta#le So ima$ine my surprise 'hen instead o" seein$ six per"ect cupcakes, ! see a slinky and see throu$h under'ear set ! think ! sat there in complete shock and silence "or a $ood "ive minutes Dmma must have reali)ed my unusual 6uietness #ecause she came to my side o" the ta#le to see 'hat 'as the matter Be"ore ! could even hide the under'ear set, it 'as already too late She had seen it .hat%s 'orse 'as that, appa decided to enter the kitchen at the exact moment 'hen she yelled out, .H, !S 2 BO, SE5=!5< ,OD D5=E(.E2(1 &he next ten minutes consisted o" 6uestions such as: ! thou$ht you and Seun$ (i 'ere ;ust "riends1, !sn%t he too youn$ "or you1 !s this even le$al1, .hat a#out 9i ,on$1 .hy are you cheatin$ on him1 and 2re you havin$ SEW1 2s you can tell, it 'as a very uncom"orta#le ten minutes ! couldn%t even think o" anythin$ to say in response, so 'hen #oth umma and appa stopped talkin$ and looked expectantly at me "or an ans'er, ! said the "irst thin$ that popped into my head: Seun$ (i is $ay !%m a horri#le #est "riend, ! kno' But, 'hat else could ! have said1 Ey impromptu proclamation did the trick thou$h Dmma and appa $ave looks o" understandin$ and nodded, and then 'ent #ack to their usual daily rituals ! think that they 'ere so relieved that ! 'asn%t havin$ sex 'ith an undera$ed #oy that they completely "or$ot to ask me 'hy he had sent me anunder'ear set, in the "irst place &o this day, my parents still think that Seun$ (i is $ay, #ut he doesn%t kno' that He ;ust assumes that my parents like him so much #ecause he%s ;ust so lova#le His 'ords, o#viously -i"teen minutes later, ! 'as #uried in my room 'ith the under'ear set lyin$ on the #ed .hat the hell 'as he thinkin$ sendin$ me a #a#y doll set1 ! 'as a#out to thro' out the #ox 'hen ! reali)ed that there 'as a small note underneath all the tissue paper 2pparently, Seun$ (i heard "rom a very relia#le source that i" 'omen 'ore sexy under'ear underneath their normal and everyday clothin$, there 'ould #e a su#tle shi"t in the 'ay they acted 2ccordin$ to this source, it 'ould make the 'oman more "lirty, sexy and con"ident Okay1 !t made me 'onder i" Seun$ (i 'ore sexy thin$s underneath his clothes on a daily #asis B Oh, $ross He%s like a #rother to me and !%m thinkin$ i" he 'ears sexy under'ear underneath his neatly pressed clothes !%m $oin$ to hell "or this O" course, ! paid no mind to this and thre' the #a#y doll set into my closet, thinkin$ that ! 'ould never have to look at it a$ain But then last ni$ht happened ! hadn%t done laundry "or almost t'o

'eeks #ecause: /+ my umma 'asn%t home and 4+ ! have #een on a cra)y cupcake #akin$ spree? there%s no time to 'ash and clean 'hen you%re on one o" those &he only clean py;amas ! had 'ere the sex #om# &Fshirt, my tooFshort Hello Citty py;amas, and the #a#y doll set that Seun$ (i had $iven me &hank <O=, ! didn%t choose the latter ! don%t even 'ant to kno' 'hat 'ould have happened i" ! had decided to 'ear Seun$ (i%s $i"t last ni$ht ! 6uickly ;umped o"" o" the #ed and made my 'ay to'ards the door !, slo'ly, opened the doorR ;ust enou$h "or me to peek my head out to see i" there 'as still a crumpled "orm in the middle o" my livin$ room !%m actin$ so ridiculous, ! kno' &his is E, apartment, ri$ht1 ! shouldn%t have to sneak around on tip toe !" anythin$, ! should ;ust march ri$ht out into the open, and #e all, ,O, <E& OD& OE, C(!B, i" anyone 'as in it B .ho is S2,!5< these thin$s in my head1 ! #lame the mornin$ Eornin$s al'ays leave me con"used and disoriented ! remem#er last 'eek ! 'oke up thinkin$ it 'as summer and 2u$ust 'hen it 'as clearly Earch and 'inter 2ny'ays, there 'as no si$n o" any one in the livin$ roomR'ell, at least "rom 'hat ! could see ! opened the door, completely, 'hich $ave 'ay to a loud creakin$ sound Tery smooth, Cim ,u (i ,ou kno', i" someone 'as actually in my house, ! think !%d #e dead or hal"'ay to the #lack market ri$ht no', #ecause ! have no stealth, common sense or #arterin$ skills Some people 'ould #e promisin$ the murdererMro##erMkidnapper their "irst #orn, the money in their #ank account, the Buddha statue in the livin$ room or their pet turtle in return "or not killin$ them !, on the other hand, 'ould #e on the $round cryin$ and murmurin$ a#out ho' ! hadn%t met my soul mate =aniel Henney yet and ho' my li"e hasn%t "ully #e$un until !%ve done so 2ctually, no' that ! think a#out it, people don%t 'ant to kidnap cra)y people, so ! $uess cra)iness has its perks1 Oh, $od, 'hy are my thou$hts so random today1 ! 'alked out o" the door and to'ards the livin$ room area &here 'as no &ae ,an$ in si$ht !n "act, it didn%t even look like &ae ,an$ had ever #een in the apartment !" it 'eren%t "or the vivid memory o" last ni$ht and the pink #lanket that covered me this mornin$, ! 'ould have thou$ht that last ni$ht%s experience 'as ;ust a dream -rom 'here ! 'as standin$, ! could see the pile o" cupcakes in the kitchen ! $rimaced sli$htly at the colour"ul si$ht ! can sa"ely say that my cupcake #akin$ spree has o""icially come to an end ,ou can all cheer "or the return o" sane ,u (i, no' ! made my 'ay to'ards the kitchen to start #innin$ all o" the cupcakes .hile doin$ so, ! 'alked passed the "ront door and noticed somethin$ de"initely out o" place &he door 'as unlocked

&hanks a lot, &ae ,an$ ! could #e in the #ack o" a 'hite van ri$ht no', on my 'ay to $ettin$ my or$ans cut out, ri$ht at this moment But then a$ain, you did come into my room and put a #lanket over me in the mornin$ .hy are #oys so con"usin$1 One minute, it%s as i" they 'ant you out o" their lives "orever and then the next, they do somethin$ nice and s'eet Or may#e !%m ;ust overanaly)in$ thin$s Only a <!(3 'ould $o throu$h this kind o" thinkin$ process ! should learn to think like a #oy ! think it 'ould make my li"e ten times easier ! 'ouldn%t #e analy)in$ every sin$le move that someone makes like ! 'as doin$ no' Okay, !%m stoppin$, no' 5ote to sel": 3earn to think like a #oy ! need to 'rite this do'n on a hot pink postFit note 2"ter lockin$ the "ront door and makin$ sure that there really 'asn%t anyone else in the apartment, ! 'alked #ack into the kitchen and 'as "aced 'ith the mountain hi$h pile o" cupcakes on the ta#le and the "loor ! really hope that he didn%t try to eat any o" the cupcakes on the ta#le #ecause ! 'ould really miss him i" he died &hat, and ! 'ould pro#a#ly $o to ;ail "or his death ! had to admit, death #y intake o" cupcakes is a pretty shitty 'ay to die and an even shittier reason to $o to ;ail "or O" course, 'hen ! said ! 'ould miss &ae ,an$, it 'ould #e in a, completely, "riendly and platonic 'ay ! really need to stop thinkin$ a#out this .here%s that postFit note pad1 &he elephant hasn%t le"t the kitchen? it%s only #een ;oined #y an even #i$$er elephant "riend FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF &hree days and /48 trashed cupcakes later, ! 'as sittin$ at a new co""ee shopFFthat 'as a $ood hal" an hour a'ay "rom the old cursed oneRto meet up 'ith Seun$ (i &here 'as no 'ay that anythin$ #ad could happen here &his 'as still a relatively ne' co""ee shop that 'as completely out o" the 'ay "or any o" the people that ! didn%t 'ant to see !$norin$ t'o elephants in the kitchen 'asn%t $oin$ to #e an easy task ! "i$ured that it 'as finally time to ackno'led$e their existence and seek help to $et rid o" them "rom none other than 3ee Seun$ (i 9ust as ! 'as a#out to 'ave do'n one o" the ca"H%s 'aitresses, Seun$ (i 'alked into the ca"H He looked like a hot mess &hat 'as the only 'ay to descri#e him His clothes 'ere 'rinkled, his hair unkept, and a sco'l 'as on his "ace .hy in the 'orld are 'e at this co""ee shop, 'hen there%s a per"ectly nice one ;ust t'o minutes a'ay "rom my house1 !nstead, ! had to 'alk in this ridiculous 'eatherRinsanely 'indy and 8PJ

chance o" sno'Rto the #us stop ! had to take three full #uses here and ! had to $ra# onto the holdin$ rin$? 'ho kno's ho' many unsanitary hands have touched them &o top o"" my 'onder"ul #us ridin$ experience, a "our year old #oy said my s'eater 'as u$lyA Can you #elieve that1 .hat does a "our year old kno' a#out "ashion1 Seun$ (i said 'ith much resentment, 'hen he reached my ta#le Dh, !%ll #uy you co""ee1 ! said 'ith a smile, #ut he didn%t return it Okay, plan B 2nd your s'eater is very nice ! don%t kno' 'hat that "our year old 'as talkin$ a#out, ! tried a$ain &hat 'as a complete lie ! don%t even kno' 'hat he 'as 'earin$ &o #e honest, it looked like he had raided 9i ,on$%s closet and shrunk the out"it in the 'asher and then put it on and 'alked out o" the house .hen did 'earin$ the colours o" the rain#o' #ecome "ashiona#le1 O" course, ! didn%t say this #ecause ! value my li"e Seun$ (i%s expression did a complete /UP He $ave me a $rin and slipped into the seat in "ront o" me &his is actually a nice place, he said, lookin$ around the premises, ;ust really, really "ar 'ch !t%s not that "ar, ! countered &hink o" it as exerciseA Hey, someone has to #e optimistic here He i$nored my last comment and looked do'n at the small paper menu in "ront o" him So, 'hy are 'e here a$ain1 .hat%s up1 he asked, 'ithout lookin$ up .hy are 'e al'ays talkin$ a#out me1 .hy don%t 'e talk a#out you1 .hat%s up 'ith you, lately1 ! said cheer"ully, 'hile arran$in$ the su$ar and cinnamon shakers on the ta#le He looked up at me and $ave me a kno'in$ look 2re you kiddin$ me1 Have you "or$otten 'ho you are1 &here%s always somethin$ 'ron$ 'ith you ,ou tell me your issues and then ! either tell you ho' stupid you are or everythin$ 'ill #e okay in the end ! tilted my head to the side .as it really true1 5o, it couldn%t #e &hat is B not true, at all, ! tried to reason !%m sure there have #een times 'hen my li"e has #een B peachy1 5ame one ! leaned #ack in my chair and thou$ht hard Surely, there had to #e a time 'hen my li"e 'as completely void o" pro#lems 2nd yet, ! couldn%t even think o" a sin$le one &hen a$ain, my memory is 6uite horri#le .here 'as my little note#ook 'hen ! needed it1 .as Seun$ (i ri$ht ! 'as ;ust a 'alkin$, talkin$ B issue1 Okay, may#e ! can%t remem#er anyR H2H, ! told you

Rthin$, at the moment, ! "inished, 'ith a much needed emphasis on the last part ,ou%re not $oin$ to "ind anythin$ in that note#ook o" yours, either, Seun$ (i stated, as i" he had ;ust read my mind He scares me, sometimes Ho' he kno's 'hat%s $oin$ on in my head 'ith ;ust lookin$ at me is $rounds enou$h "or #ein$ terri"ied o" him 9ust a #it Or, may#e, !%m ;ust an open #ook So 'hy are 'e here1 !s it #ecause you%re here to apolo$i)e "or those horri#le store #ou$ht cupcakes you $ave me, yesterday1 Ey mouth "ormed a small @o% Ho' did you kno'1 LleaseA ,ou think & can%t tell homemade cupcakes "rom store #ou$ht cupcakes1 ,ou%re talkin$ as i" ! haven%t #een makin$ cupcakes "or the past K years o" my li"e ! nodded He had a point !t%s the thou$ht that counts, any'ays He rolled his eyes at me a$ain So, 'hy are 'e here1 ! pushed my lo'er lip out and looked at the #oy in "ront o" me &he elephants Seun$ (i narro'ed his eyes at me in con"usion Elephants1 Eay#e, you should order "irst &his story mi$ht take a'hile, ! 'arned him, 'hile raisin$ a hand to call over a 'aitress FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Band ! 'oke up and he 'as $one ! "inally "inished the story 'ith a heavy si$h and $ra##ed my drink to soothe my dry throat .ho kne' tellin$ the story a#out the elephants in my kitchen 'ould have taken this lon$1 Seun$ (i $ave me a 6uestionin$ look and leaned #ack in his seat He continued to stare at me, as i" he 'anted to say somethin$ #ut couldn%t $o a#out it .ell1 Say somethin$A ! can take itA ! reassured him, not likin$ the uncom"orta#le silence He si$hed, and sat up strai$ht a$ain Okay, 'ell B he trailed o"" a$ain .ell B1 ! repeated He looked me strai$ht in the eye ,ou%re so stupid, noona ! #linked .hat1 ,ou%re so stupid and clueless that ! ;ust 'ant to shake you and knock some sense into that thick head o" yoursA he cried out, #ut he 6uickly recovered !n a rhetorical sense, o" course Ey mouth hun$ open in shock 2"ter a "e' seconds, ! 6uickly shock mysel" out o" it Stupid and

clueless1 ! repeated to mysel" ,esA He cut his B(2!=S o"" "or you His hairA ,ou kno' that a $uy%s "avourite possession a"ter his car or clothes is his hair 2nd damn, did &aeyan$Fhyun$ love those #raids !" cuttin$ his hair didn%t scream ! have "eelin$s "or you so much that !%m 'illin$ to $et rid o" my second most pri)ed possession in the 'orld% to you, 'ell, then you, noona, are stupid and clueless But B everyone hated those #raids1 ! tried to make mysel" look like a lo$ical person, #ut ! didn%t even seem to #elieve it Sure, #ut he didn%t cut them o"" a"ter everyone told him they 'ere u$ly, he reminded me 5o 'ay, may#e he ;ust looked at his re"lection one mornin$ and thou$ht, @damn, these #raids are u$ly 2 "aux ha'k 'ould make me look one hundred times hotter%, ! su$$ested Seun$ (i $ave me another one o" those @'hat the hell% looks that !%ve $ro'n so accustomed to =o you think 'hen you talk1 Shut up, ! murmured and 'ent #ack to lookin$ at the menu Honestly thou$h, you can #e so dense 'ith thin$s like these, he said in a so"ter voice =idn%t you ever 'onder 'hy he al'ays seemed to #e there "or you1 2l'ays the one to help out1 2l'ays the one to ask ho' thin$s are $oin$1 ! ;ust thou$ht he 'as #ein$ a $ood "riend !t 'as true .hat 'ith my limited kno'led$e o" datin$ and the opposite sex, !, clearly, couldn%t tell the di""erence #et'een #ein$ a $ood "riend and 'antin$ to #e more than a $ood "riend ! don%t kno' any $ood #oy friends 'ho have #urnt their entire hat collection and permanently scarred a $enius parrot ;ust to #ake his #est "riend%s $irl"riend a couple o" cupcakes, Seun$ (i responded &hat hit home !" you kne', 'hy didn%t you say anythin$1 !" everyone kne', 'hy didn%t anyone say anythin$1 Eay#e ! was stupid and dense 2ll this ne' in"ormation 'as makin$ my head spin ,ou 'ere still datin$ 9i ,on$ ! may not like him, #ut ! didn%t 'ant to cause unnecessary pro#lems #et'een a "riend, his #est "riend and his $irl"riend Especially i" his $irl"riend 'as you ,ou liar, you love drama He stuck his ton$ue out at me 5ot 'hen it includes you 2'', Seun$ (i ! love you ,ou 'in the @#est don$saen$ a'ard%A Because then, !%ll #e slavin$ a'ay in the kitchen to make you cupcakes B ! take it #ack =on$ &ae ,an$ likes you, he said simply

&hank you "or statin$ the, now o#vious !t%s #een 'eeks since you and 9i ,on$ ended thin$s Oh, the elephant &hat support $roup leader1 .ell, may#e you should listen to her and @take that leap% 'ithR Choi Seun$ Hyun1 5o, thank you, ! replied #ut then cau$ht mysel" .ait, ! mean, &ae ,an$A &ae ,an$A 5ot Seun$ HyunA ! 'as so used to Seun$ (i sproutin$ out Seun$ Hyun%s name that it ;ust #ecame a ha#it ! 'asn%t $oin$ to say &OL, #ut, his eyes suddenly lit up, he%s clearly on your mind #ecause 'e%ve ;ust #een talkin$ a#out &ae ,an$ "or the past 4P minutes and you suddenly #rin$ him up He%s on your unconscious mind, isn%t he1 ,ou%re startin$ to likeFF =on%t staROHA <E& =O.5A ! had 6uickly slid do'n the chair to hide underneath the small circular ta#le, 'hilst dra$$in$ a con"used Seun$ (i 'ith me O'A .hat 'as that1 he exclaimed once he 'as huddled #eneath the ta#le #eside me ShhA ! hit him li$htly on his shoulder She%ll hear youA Stop attractin$ so much attention Seun$ (i $ave me a complete a#ashed look (i$ht, and suddenly ;umpin$ out o" our chairs and hidin$ underneath this ta#le, doesn%t attract any attention to'ards us, at all ShushA ! hit him a$ain on the arm and then turned to point at the ru#y red slippers that a $irl 'as 'earin$ Hee 9in%s hereA Seun$ (i%s "ace 'ent "rom annoyed to panicked .hat1 2nd you pull me underneath the ta#le1 .hy didn%t 'e ;ust hi$htail it out o" the ca"H1 Hah ,ou #rin$ up a $ood point, 3ee Seun$ (i Oh 'ell, 'e%re here underneath the ta#le, and there%s nothin$ that 'e can do a#out it .here did you "ind her1 !%ve had my share o" persistent $irls, #ut she, she takes persistent to a 'hole ne' levelA ! turned my $a)e "rom Hee 9in%s shoes to Seun$ (i%s "ear"ul "ace ! couldn%t help #ut lau$h at his expression He looked like Hee 9in 'ould kidnap him and lock him up in her #edroom so that he 'ould never #e a#le to see the li$ht o" day a$ain &hen a$ain, ! 'ouldn%t #e surprised i" she 'as plannin$ that Stop lau$hin$A he 'hispered harshly Oh, stop overreactin$ She%s not $oin$ to physRum, 'here did she $o1 ! tried to look "or Hee 9in%s distinct red shoes, #ut they couldn%t #e "ound in the cro'd o" 'hite and #lack ones Oh, thank $od, she%s $one Can 'e please $et up no'1 Seun$ri asked, relieved

! pulled him #ack do'n 'hen he tried to stand up 2re you cra)y1 She%s pro#a#ly still out thereA ,ou%re paranoid 5o, !%m #ein$ cautious .hich is ;ust a nicer 'ay o" sayin$ paranoid Shut up ! 'asn%t the one 'hose "ace ;ust turned 'hite at the mention o" her name !t didn%t turn 'hiteA ,eah, it did 5o ,es 5o .hy are you t'o underneath the ta#le1 Seun$ (i and ! looked at one another a"ter reali)in$ that none o" us had a hi$h pitched and overly "eminine voice .hat are you t'o doin$1 the voice repeated a$ain &he #oth o" us turned around and sa' Hee 9in crouched do'n #eside us Oh,shR -reakin$ heRO.A !n our e""orts to $et the hell out "rom underneath the ta#le, ! ended up knockin$ my head on the ta#le top and Seun$ (i someho' mana$ed to "all over? directly spra'led in "ront o" Hee 9in .e%re such a smart #unch, Seun$ (i and ! &hat 'as very clever, she remarked, 'hile helpin$ Seun$ (i up "rom the $round and touchin$ him in spots that 'eren%t necessary ,ah, yah, yahA Seun$ (i cried out 'hen Hee 9in touched a sensitive area He pushed a'ay Hee 9in%s $ra##y hands and scurried over to a seat #eside mine 2ish, ! $roaned to mysel" 'hen ! noticed that three 6uarters o" the ca"H 'as starin$ at us ! $uess ! 'as $oin$ to have to search "or a ne' co""ee shop, tomorro' 2nd ! 'as startin$ to like this place, too .hy 'ere you hidin$ underneath a ta#le1 Hee 9in asked a$ain, settlin$ hersel" into a seat across "rom us, uninvited

Dh ,,, that%s a $ood 6uestion, ! stammered and then looked over at Seun$ (i !t%s such a $ood 6uestion that ! don%t think ! can do it ;ustice Seun$ (i, 'hy don%t you ans'er that really good 6uestion So sue me !%m scared o" her He $ave me a look o" utmost shock -or a "ull t'o minutes, he kept lookin$ #ack and "orth "rom me and Hee 9in !t 'asn%t until ! stamped on his "oot that he "inally ans'ered Hah B 'ell, you see, 'e 'ere doin$ the Buh B%=uck and Cover% procedureA =uck and cover1 .asn%t that a completely useless procedure that you 'ere supposed to do i" a nuclear attack happened1 ,eah, you never kno' i" a nuclear #om# is $oin$ to make its 'ay over hereA ,ou have to #e prepared "or these types o" thin$sA he lau$hed to himsel", #ut he 'as the only one Hee 9in looked like she 'as 'orried "or his mental health and ! 'as ;ust thinkin$ 'hy Seun$ (i "ailed so much in li"e (i$ht, okay, Hee 9in #e$an, you%re cute, so !%m not $oin$ to say anythin$ Seun$ (i $ave her a nervous lau$h and scooted his chair closer to mine &he youn$er $irl then directed her attention to'ards me 'ith that stern "ace that has haunted me "or "ar too many ni$hts ,ah, tell your "riend &OL to stop "ollo'in$ me ! did a dou#le take at Hee 9in%s .hat1 ,our "riend1 .ell, he came 'ith &ae ,an$Foppa, #ut he sneaked o"" 'hile &OL 'as 6uestionin$ me a#out a $irl1 she responded 'hile pickin$ the menu up "rom the ta#le Eh1 Shouldn%t you #e happy that an older and $ood lookin$ $uy is interested in you1 <ood lookin$1 So you admit it1 Seun$ (i suddenly pi6ued up He looked at me 'ith shiny eyes, as i" Christmas had come early "or him 7ish, it%s not like he%s u$ly or anythin$, ! murmured, playin$ 'ith the cinnamon shakers, and not 'antin$ to look at Seun$ (i%s direction !t 'as true Seun$ Hyun 'as a nice lookin$ $uy 'ith eyes that could pierce throu$h your soul and heart B !%ve clearly read too many romance novels in my li"e 2ny'aysA ! said loudly to Hee 9in, #e"ore Seun$ (i #e$an makin$ 'eddin$ plans .hy aren%t you "lattered1 D$h, you are so stran$e, she said, piti"ully, at me, #ut then she "lashed Seun$ (i a hu$e smile But, not you, Seun$ (iFoppaA

He $ave her another nervous lau$h, and scooted his chair closer to me, a$ain But yes, he%s not my type, she said lamely at me ! like them cute and innocent lookin$ She looked directly at Seun$ (i, and that 'as 'hen ! "elt a sharp pain on my lo'er le$ O'A Hey, that%s me, you%re playin$ "ootsies 'ithA ! hissed in pain She "ro'ned at me Oh sorry, she turned her "ro'n into a smile 'hen she looked #ack at Seun$ (i, no dou#t kickin$ his le$ #ecause Seun$ (i $rimaced t'o seconds later 2ny'ho, Hee 9in said cheer"ully She 'as so B #i polar, ! s'ear One minute she%s starin$ da$$ers at me, and then the next she%s all sunshine and rain#o's .ere all /P year olds this complicated1 ! ;ust 'anted to tell you to tell your "riend, &OL, to stop "ollo'in$ me !t%s a #it scary Hah ,ou%re one to talk .ell, he%s not technically my "riendR &hat%s ri$htA &hey%re not "riends, at all &he next time you see them, they%ll #e lovers ! turned to $ive Seun$ (i the look everyone seemed to #e $ivin$ me, lately &he #oy never $ave up 'hen it came to me and Seun$ Hyun (i$ht, Hee 9in said, simply and started to $et up ! have to $oR Oh, that%s too #adA !t%s such a shame that you can%t stay lon$erA Seun$ (i said in a very loud and exa$$erated tone Seun$ (i HushA (eally1 Hee 9in 'alked over to stand directly #eside him .ell, ! can stay i" you reallyR Oh, noooooA he responded in the same loud voice and moved his chair so close to me that our le$s 'ere touchin$ .e don%t 'ant to keep you "rom any previous en$a$ements, no'A ! pinched Seun$ (i%s thi$h underneath the ta#le to stop him "rom talkin$ !" he spoke any more 'ords, Hee 9in 'ould pro#a#ly end up stayin$ and attempt to sexual harass our poor Seun$ (i !t%s okay, oppa, she said in an overly s'eet voice and made to stand even closer to him, 'hich made Seun$ (i shi"t even closer &he last part didn%t exactly 'ork out #ecause he 'as already in such close proximity to me He ended up sittin$ hal" on my lap and the other hal" on his chair ! have to leave, any'ays Such a shamR he turned to $ive me a $lare 'hen ! $ave him another pinch ! mean, uh, never mindA He shook his head and let it "all do'n in shame Hee 9in then turned her direction to'ards me and stated, ,ah, tell him to stop "ollo'in$ me, or !%ll have to take drastic steps like reportin$ him She stared at me and ! 6uickly nodded .ith a satis"ied smile, she turned around to #lo' a kiss at Seun$ (i and then "lounced out o" the ca"H 'ith an extra skip to her 'alk

So scary !t makes me 'onder 'hat type o" people her parents are ! can%t #elieve her ! can%t #elieve that &OL is interested in another $irl She%s cra)y, #utR'ait, 'hat1 ,ou didn%t kno'1 ! asked in dis#elie" !t 'as a #it surprisin$ that Seun$ (i, Seun$ Hyun%s #i$$est "an#oy, didn%t kno' that he 'as interested in another $irl ,eahA He can%t do thatA he li"ted himsel" o"" o" my lap, and scooted his chair to the opposite side o" the ta#le ! mean, 'hat does he think he%s doin$1 -indin$ all these random and di""erent $irls1 =oes he not understand our a$reemeRhahaha, never mind, 'hat 'ere 'e sayin$1 Hee 9in1 Cra)y1 Sounds a#out ri$htA he immediately cau$ht his mistake and tried to deter the conversation a'ay "rom its ori$inal su#;ect .aitA .hat type o" a$reement do you have 'ith him1 2re you actually payin$ someone to $o out 'ith me1 ! really 'anted to "ind out, once and "or all, the relationship that the t'o #oys had 5ever mind thatA he 'aved his hand to dismiss the su#;ect 2ny'ays, you are misera#le .as he really tryin$ to chan$e the su#;ect, now1 HeyA ! don%tR Choi Seun$ Hyun is misera#le ! don%t like the sound o" this Eay#e you t'o should $o out and #e misera#le to$ether ! kne' ! 'ouldn%t like 'hat he 'as $oin$ to say !n "act, ! already arran$ed it, he said 'ith a #ri$ht smile He started to $et up "rom his seat 'hen he sa' my eyes dou#le in si)e ,ou need to take a leap into the unkno'n, noonaA He pumped his "ist in the air "or extra emphasis ,ah, 3ee Seun$ (i, ! can%tR 2 leapA He%ll pick you up at 0A Be"ore ! could say another 'ord, he 'as already at the door .hen did that #oy learn to #e so schemin$ andR'o', he 'as practically runnin$ to the #us stop, no' ! 'atched him "rom the 'indo' as he ran do'n the street at a speed ! had never seen him exhi#it #e"ore =id he actually think ! 'as $oin$ to run a"ter him1 ,es, !%m annoyed that he has set up another date #et'een t'o people 'ho have the least chemistry in the 'orld, #ut ! didn%t 'ant to have a heart attack "rom chasin$ a"ter him ,es, heart attack ! think !%m a prime candidate "or one, no1 Co""ee, cupcakes, stress, lack o" exercise !%m ;ust a 'alkin$ advertisement "or a potential heart attack &hen a$ain, i" ! 'ent out 'ith Choi Seun$ Hyun toni$ht, then, at least, !%ll $et a "ree meal out o" it, ri$ht1

His "ree loadin$ antics have, clearly, ru##ed o"" on me ! think !%d accept ;ust a#out anythin$ to "or$et a#out the elephants

Chapter &en, Lart &'o

.hy in the 'orld 'as ! puttin$ this much e""ort into lookin$ nice1 &his 'as the third time in "ive minutes that ! had run to the mirror to look at my re"lection and "ix my hair, smooth out a "e' 'rinkles on my shirt and no' it 'as to see i" there 'as anythin$ on my teeth ! 'as tryin$ to look pretty "or Choi Seun$ Hyun1 5o !%m ;ust doin$ 'hat normal $irls do 'hen they%re $oin$ out "or the ni$ht !t mi$ht have taken me /I years to catch on to this ha#it, #ut #etter late than never, ri$ht1 Seun$ (i 'ould #e so proud to kno' that ! 'as actually lookin$ at my re"lection #e"ore ! le"t my apartment ! tucked a strand o" hair #ehind my ear 'hen the door #ell ran$ .ith one last look and a smile directed to'ards the mirror, ! 6uickly made my 'ay to open the door HelRomphA He shoved a #ou6uet o" "lo'ers in my "ace and mum#led a 6uick, here and then proceeded to push past me and 'alk inside the apartment ! lo'ered the #ou6uet out o" my "ace and spit out the petals that had "ound their 'ay in my mouth 'hen Seun$ Hyun had thrust the "lo'ers in my "ace ,ou kno', even thou$h Seun$ (i "orced you to come, you could at least pretend to #e happy ! said to the empty space in "ront o" me ,ahA 2re you talkin$ to yoursel"1 ! heard him yell out "rom the livin$ room ! sco'led &his little ha#it o" talkin$ to people that aren%t there, really has to stop Leople are $oin$ to think !%m cra)y, one day 2ctually, people already think that, so 'ho cares1 ! placed the "lo'ers on the ta#le and 'alked to 'here Seun$ Hyun 'as sittin$ ! couldn%t help #ut $i$$le 'hen ! sa' him 5ot havin$ a do)en roses in my "ace allo'ed me to "inally see his 'ardro#e choice .hat are you 'earin$1 D$h, it looks "ruity, doesn%t it1 Seun$ Hyun $roaned and 'alked over to the mirror near the 'indo' Stupid Seun$ (i -ruity 'as an interestin$ choice to descri#e his attire He actually looked very polished 2 #it too

polished He 'ore a li$ht $rey suit 'ith a pale #lue dress shirt underneath !nstead o" a tie, he had a hot pink scar" tucked around his neck Only Seun$ (i 'ould have picked an out"it like that Seun$ (i%s "uture kids are $oin$ to $et #eat up #ecause he%s $oin$ to dress them up in @"ashiona#le%Ral#eit 6uestiona#leFF clothes and name them somethin$ -rench like 2m#roise Eay#e i" the scar" 'asn%t hot pink1 ! su$$ested Hot pink1 he suddenly turned around to $ive me a shocked expression He t'isted his #ody #ack to'ards the mirror and #e$an nervously pullin$ at the scar" He said it 'as coralA 5o, it%s pink, ! snickered He tu$$ed it a couple more times, #ut then $ave up .hatever, ! rock it any'ays Choi Seun$ Hyun, you are so modest .hy so happy and up#eat today1! asked politely He sco'led at me in response ,ou kno' that you%ll $et 'rinkles t'ice as "ast i" you sco'l1 He 6uickly turned his "ro'n into a smile 2nd you $et lau$h lines i" you smile, too much His mouth settled "or a strai$ht line !, cheekily, $rinned at him So !%m never supposed to sco'l or lau$h "or the rest o" my li"e1 Lretty much, ! responded and settled mysel" onto the couch, unless you 'ant to look QP 'hen you%re really 4U Seun$ Hyun%s mouth "ormed a small @o% #ut it 6uickly chan$ed into the ori$inal $rim line He pro#a#ly thou$ht that that expression 'ould "orm 'rinkles on the side o" his mouth, too ! heard you%re stalkin$ Hee 9in1 ! asked a"ter recoverin$ "rom my mental lau$hin$ "it ! can%t "ind Soo Ha ! think that Hee 9in $irl is a"raid o" me ! don%t see 'hy ! am "reakin$ #eauti"ul, he said smu$ly, 'hile read;ustin$ the hot pRcoral scar", once a$ain ! don%t see 'hy she wouldnt 'ant to stalk me ! rolled my eyes .ay too cocky ,ou came o"" too stron$, ! told him, #ut you should pro#a#ly stay a'ay "rom her #ecause she mi$ht call the cops on you, soon 2nd seein$ as ho' she%s insane, ! 'ouldn%t put it past her

Eh, 'hat do yFFFkyahhA He had turned around 6uickly, #ut accidentally pulled too hard on the scar" causin$ it to stran$le his neck 2ish, ! shook my head at him and 'alked over to help him untan$le it "rom around his neck Eay#e you should $o 'ithout it ! tossed the scar" on the couch next to the pink #lanket Seun$ Hyun nodded 'hile ru##in$ his neck to ease the pain the hot pink scar" had caused him So yeah, stay a'ay "rom her "or a'hile, ! reminded him 2nd, 'here are 'e $oin$ toni$ht1 Some place super romantic 'ith candles, violin music and 'aiters dressed in #o' ties, he said o""handedly, 'hile #uttonin$ up the "irst t'o #uttons on his dress shirt Ey eyes 'idened at his statement (eally1 &ch 5oA .ho do you think ! am1 ,our #oy"riend1 Ey shoulders dropped &hanks He turned his attention to'ards me and motioned "or us to leave =on%t 'orry !t%ll de"initely #e somethin$ you 'on%t "or$et ! stood up "rom my seat and $ave him a 'ary expression &hat%s 'hat !%m a"raid o" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Loetry readin$1 ! said "or the "i"th time in the past t'o minutes ! 'as tryin$ to catch up 'ith Seun$ Hyun 'hile 'e made our 'ay to our seats in the shady clu# -or a poetry readin$ clu#, the place 'as packed !t 'asn%t as i" that #i$ music $roup Bi$ Ban$R'ho also had 6uestiona#le "ashiona#le tastesR'ere per"ormin$ &his place looked a #it too ni$ht clu#Flike "or an innocent poetry readin$ ,eah, he replied and turned around to $ra# my hand, you%re such a slo' 'alker, hurry upA !%m sorry that ! am short and cannot keep up 'ith your massive $iant steps, ! replied, not $ra##in$ my hand #ack Hey, ! don%t 'ant to $et lost, especially in this cro'd ! didn%t have time to have a really $ood look around the clu#, #ut "rom my 6uick $lances, there 'ere some very eccentric people in this poetry event .e reached our ta#le and he let $o o" my hand to sit do'n and ! "ollo'ed suite .hy a poetry readin$ clu#1 ! asked a$ain 2"ter the third #ottle o" so;u, all drinks a"ter are on the house 5ot so innocent, a"ter all 5o 'onder the clu# 'as so packed !" you advertise "ree alcohol "or an event, then you can expect a lot o" random people Leople that de"initely had no appreciation "or poetry, #ut rather a "ondness "or alcohol 3ike me

,eah, !%m one o" those "ools 'ho drink their sorro's a'ay and deeply re$ret it the next mornin$ But, desperate times call "or desperate measures, and the elephants de"initely 6uali"ied as desperate times Ceep the drinks comin$, ! murmured as a 'aitress came 'ith t'o #ottles o" so;u 'hich she poured neatly into t'o shot $lasses "or us Cheers to the lonely hearts clu#, Seun$ Hyun said, as he raised his $lass Cheers, to that !ndeed FFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF YH!& EEAY ! said in a determined voice as ! slammed the empty shot $lass do'n hard in "ront o" Seun$ Hyun 2lcohol must have a""ected his reaction time, #ecause he ;umped a "ull three seconds after ! had "orce"ully put my cup do'n on the ta#le Y2re you sure1Y he said in a #it o" a slurred voice and cocked his head to the side YBecause ! donVt think youVre sure, and !Vm sure as hell, not sure ! donVt think ! sureR! mean, should Y ! slammed the cup a$ain, 'hich caused another delayed reaction "rom Seun$ Hyun Y,esA 5o' hit meAY Seun$ Hyun s6uinted his eyes or did he roll them1 ! 'asnVt exactly sure #ecause he 'as hal" 'ay $one and he really couldnVt "i$ure out #asic eye movements He looked around the shady poetry clu# and then, it 'as like thin$s happened in slo' motion He leaned "or'ard and #e"ore ! kne' it, there 'as a searin$ pain on my le"t shoulder YO.AY ! yelled out and $lared at him Y.H2& &HE HE33 .2S &H2& -O(1Y Y,ou said hit meAY Seun$ Hyun leaned #ack in his chair 'hich made it tilt, ;ust a #it, and held up his hands in surrender Y! EE25& H!& EE .!&H 25O&HE( SHO&AY ! ru##ed my shoulder hopin$ to ease the pain Seun$ Hyun hit hard YOh, 'ell may#e you shouldVve said Vhit me 'ith another shotVAY Y6it me with your best shot< Aire away< Ean, thatVs my "avourite ;am, ri$ht thereA Seun$ Hyun and ! looked #ehind us, and sa' a #oy dressed in sli$htly #a$$y pants and a #eret, s'ayin$ to the music that only existed in his head Loetry readin$s and "ree alcohol #rin$ out all the "reaks in the 'orld ! should kno' !%m one o" them 2ttention, pleaseA 2 youn$ 'aitress stood on the sta$e in the "ront 'ith a microphone in her hand &oni$ht is open mic ni$ht, 'ould anyone like to volunteer to $o "irst1

Open mic1 -ree style1 !%m $ameA he said excitedly 'hile reachin$ inside his #reast pocket to pull out a pair o" shades &hey 'ere interestin$, that%s "or sure &he 'hite $lasses that nestled nicely on his "ace, had no lenses, #ut rather there 'ere three solid #ands o" plastic stretchin$ across the part 'here lenses 'ere supposed to #e Ho' are you $oin$ to see1 &his room is one 'att a'ay "rom complete darkness, you can #arely 'alk and those $lasses impair your vision #y at least a hal" ! na$, too, much He didn%t even hear my speech #ecause #y the time ! 'as "inished, he 'as hal" stum#lin$ to the sta$e ,eesh &he thin$s #oys do to look $ood &he pretty 'aitress handed the mic to Seun$ Hyun, 'hich he took ea$erly Y,o, yo, check it B2SSAY Seun$ Hyun stood there "or a "ull minute starin$ o"" into space 'ith his striped sun$lasses still on 2"ter three "ull minutes o" complete silence "rom Seun$ Hyun, a 'aitress scurried her 'ay to the sta$e and 'hispered, YDh, is that it1Y Y5ahA !Vm ;ust 'aitin$ "or the #ass to come onAY Seun$ Hyun leaned over the sta$e to 'hisper #ack &he 'aitress #linked and slo'ly said, Y&hereVs no music durin$ open mic ni$ht Y Y.HHH22&1 5o 'ayA Ba#y $irl, are you playinV me1 ,ou need music to feel the 'ords !Vm sproutinV outta my mouth,Y Seun$ Hyun held up #oth o" his "ists and pumped them in the air .here did this $hetto speak come "rom1 YDrm, 'ell, youVre $oin$ to have to "ind another 'ay "or us to feel the 'ords,Y the 'aitress retorted #ack Y,ou have "ive more minutes until your turn is up Y She turned #ack around and 'ent #ack to tend to another ta#le Seun$ Hyun looked around the room, #ut then 6uickly $athered his composure and started Y! see the sky Y Lause Y!tVs #lue Y 2nother pause Y!tVs, oh so, #lue Y .hat the hell, Choi Seun$ Hyun1 ! thou$ht you said you 'ere a poet Y3ike the 'ater, the sky is #lue Y

B YBlue &he colour makes me sad =oesn%t it "or every#ody1 Ey heart is #lue #ecause o" her Oh, that 'as 6uite deep or may#e ! ;ust think that it is #ecause !%ve drank "our shots o" so;u, already Blood runs cold Heart#eat%s slo'er =amn, Seun$ Hyun &his Soo Ha $irl has $ot you smitten !%m so #lue 2 lon$ silence that lasted exactly /K seconds took over &hank you, he 'hispered dramatically into the microphone and #o'ed 2"ter a short silence, people #e$an to slo'ly clap !t 'as the kind o" clap that you 'ere unsure o" ,ou only clapped #ecause the person next to you 'as applaudin$ and you didn%t 'ant to look dum#, so you "ollo'ed their actions Ho'%d ! do1 he asked me, ea$erly, 'hen he stum#led his 'ay #ack to'ards the ta#le He 'as very attached to those $lasses Dm, ! started and then looked at the near empty #ottle in "ront o" me Have another shotA Sorry, ! didn%t 'ant to crush his hopes !t%s #ad enou$h that he "ound out that he%ll never "ind his @soul mate%, Soo Ha, #ut to hear that his "uture dreams o" #ein$ a rapper or poet is never $oin$ to happen either, 'ell, !%m not that cruel FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF YChoi Seun$ Hyun1Y ! said a"ter do'nin$ another shot o" so;u !%m not sure ho' many shots !%ve had ! tried to keep count #y dra'in$ dashes on the napkin 'ith the pencil that the 'aitress had accidentally le"t #ehind, #ut Seun$ Hyun had $ra##ed hold o" it and #e$an dra'in$ pictures o" houses 'ith my dashed lines Y.hat1Y his head drooped lo'er #ut then suddenly shot up Y=idnVt ! tell you to call me &OL1Y YOh, ri$ht, sorry, Choi "eung 6yunA But, ! 'as told to take a leapAY 2 leak1 <o to the 'ashroom .hy are you so B open and tellin$ me thin$s that ! don%t need to hear, today1 he continued to tap his temple and stare o"" into nothin$ ! said leap

Oh, you can $o stand over there and ;ump around !" you 'ant 5ot that type o" leap, ! said exasperatedly ,ou kno', the type 'here you ;ump into the unkno'n and do thin$s that you normally 'ouldn%t do1 Oh, that sounds B inspirational ,eah, it isA Son$ 9i Hee told me to leap 3eap "ar and hi$hA ! slammed the shot $lass on the ta#le, once a$ain, and Seun$ Hyun "linched 8 seconds later ! tilted my head and smiled at him Y&ake the leap 'ith meAY Y,eah, ! think that you should listenRoh, .H2&1 ,ou heard me 2re you trying to take advanta$e o" my poor mental state1 Have you "or$otten a#out Soo Ha1 !%m ;ust a #ody to youA 2 poor and useless #ody "or you to use and a#use B 2ish, ! 'as ;ust kiddin$A ! "inally said ,ou%re too emotional "or my likin$? even "or a re#ound 2m not, !%m ;ust mentally invested 'ith the "eelin$s inside o" me !t%s the same thin$A &he 'hole @"indin$ synonyms that are #i$$er 'ords% has to stop 2ish, 'hatever Seun$ (i, 'here do you "ind these #oys1 Hmm Speakin$ o" Seun$ (i B Seun$ Hyun 'as misera#le and "ive shots a'ay "rom passin$ out ! think this is an ideal time to take advanta$e o" the situation and use it in my "avour So, 'hy is Seun$ (i al'ays tryin$ to make you $o out 'ith me1 ! asked in a pleasant voice .hat1 ! kno' this is a #it manipulative, #ut it%s human nature to do 'hat !%m doin$A He re$arded me 'ith an intense look Even 'hen drunk, those eyes still have the po'er to suck you in and make you lose all incoherent thou$hts He%s my #ooty call B .H2&1 ,es, he said he 'ould #ecome my #ooty call i" ! a$reed to date you, he said in a completely serious one Since !%m not $ettin$ any action, 'hatsoever, these days #ecause Hee 9in doesn%t 'ant to stalk me, !%ve resorted to #oys three years youn$er than me and completely ille$al to

touch .H2&1 HE%S EWCH25<!5< SEWD23 -2TOD(S -O( E, O.5 .E33 BE!5<1 ! yelled out, 'hich 'asn%t a $ood idea #ecause there 'as no music and the cro'd had $otten stran$ely 6uiet 'hen the open mic sho' #e$an 2 lot o" people 'ere $ivin$ us stran$e looks ! 'as all too used to this, #ut ! don%t think Seun$ Hyun 'as #ecause he slouched lo'er into his seat .hy are you so loud1 he 'hispered, 'hile lookin$ do'n at his pants, as i" it 'as the most interestin$ thin$ in the 'orld !%m not loudA Ho' do you expect me to react1 ! 'hispered #ack .o', Seun$ (i 'as a (E233, $ood "riend i" he 'as doin$ this "or me &ch, ! 'as kiddin$A ,ou are so na:ve, he said 'ith a $i$$le and poured another shot to $ive to me He looked up and si$nalled "or a 'aitress, HeyA ,oA .e need more so;u, over hereA &hat 'as EE25, ! told him 5o, you damn 'ell scared me 'ith your proposition o" takin$ a leap to$etherA ! crossed my arms and pouted D$h Shut up .e%re even, he said 'ith a smile and handed me a shot $lass ! rolled my eyes at him, #ut do'ned the drink any'ays FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ! sa' him, #ut ! didn%t =oes that make sense1 O" course, it doesn%t 2lcohol and makin$ sense never $o to$ether !t%s like oil and 'ater Salt and su$ar Seun$ (i and 9i ,on$ Cissin$ and hu$$in$ B .ait, kissin$ and hu$$in$ do $o to$ether ! B need to #an so;u "rom my li"e, a"ter this ni$ht ! 'as lookin$ thou$ht"ully at Seun$ Hyun%s dra'in$ o" a house 'hen ! heard a loud uproar near the entrance o" the poetry clu# 3ike a clichH drama moment, $uess 'ho 'alked into the clu# 'ith an outra$eously pretty $irl on his arm1 C'on 9i ,on$ -anF"reakin$Ftastic ! should%ve kno'n he 'as $oin$ to #e here 3i"e hates Cim ,u (i, there"ore, she should%ve kno'n that the one ni$ht that she looks and "eels like complete and utter sh it, C'on 9i ,on$ is

$oin$ to make an appearance in her li"e ,ou kno' 'hat1 ! am a co'ard 2 hal" drunken, pathetic co'ard .hich explains 'hy !%m not $oin$ to sit here and risk him seein$ me !n "act, !%m $oin$ to $et up no' and hide in a corner or the 'omen%s 'ashroom ! $ot up, despite Seun$ Hyun%s sudden protests, #ut he suddenly stopped .hy1 ! didn%t kno' ! didn%t have time to turn around and "i$ure out 'hat his ne' sudden "ascination 'as (unnin$ a'ay to the 'ashroom, secretly, 'asn%t the #est idea ! had 5ope Especially 'hen you%ve had B nine shots o" so;u1 .ho kno's1 Stupid Seun$ Hyun and his sudden impulse to dra' houses on napkins So #ein$ the #rilliant and stealthy person ! 'as, ! tried to 'alk past them 'ithout #ein$ seen, #ut my knack "or stum#lin$ over a#solutely nothin$, kicked in Eh, ,u (i1 9i ,on$ had turned his attention a'ay "rom his date to look do'n at me Oh, hFhi, ! stammered, 'hile tryin$ to stand #ack up .hat are you doin$ here1 he asked me, ever so casually Casual 2s i", 'e hadn%t $one out 'ith one another "or a year 2s i" 'e didn%t have a history 2s i", he didn%t #reak up 'ith me on Talentine%s =ay in an alley 2s i", ! didn%t make seven hundred cupcakes and made my sixteen year old nei$h#our on the ver$e o" o#esity #ecause o" him Casual ,u (i1 he prodded me 3et%s delve into the "emale mind, shall 'e1 ,our exF#oy"riend is standin$ directly in "ront o" you 'ith this #eauti"ul $irl on his arm ,ou, on the other hand, are not lookin$ your #est #oth physically and mentally ,ou have three options: /+ (un a'ay *5ot exactly a $ood idea #ecause he%s standin$ ri$ht in "ront o" you and he%s already #e$un the a'k'ard chit chat, so scratch that+ 4+ &ell him the truth, as to 'hy you%re here *5ot a $ood one, either #ecause @.ell, ! decided to come out to this sketchy place 'ith Seun$ Hyun #ecause !%m pretty sure Seun$ (i is payin$ him to $o out 'ith me Oh and there%s "ree alcoholA% really doesn%t sound that $reat+ 7+ 3ie, lie, lie, 3!E *5ot a $ood idea either, #ut out o" the three, it seems to #e the most reasona#le .ell, at the time, it did+ Oh, !%m here 'ith my boyfriend, &OLA ! said, a little #it too happy, and pointed to'ards Seun$ Hyun #ehind me ! instantly re$retted doin$ that the second ! turned around ! should%ve ;ust $ra##ed a random $uy passin$ #y #ecause that 'ould%ve #een less B humiliatin$ Choi Seun$ Hyun had, someho', $ra##ed one o" the plastic plants on the side and placed it on my seat He 'as strokin$ the plant%s "ake leaves and $ivin$ it $oo $oo eyes ! s'ear ! heard,

,ou have really so"t hands ! turned my attention #ack to 9i ,on$ Dm, he%s B an actor, too1 He likes to practise 'ith inanimate o#;ects .O(S& EWCDSE ETE( &he udon $uy "rom your apartment1 he asked me, curiously He $ently s'iped his #an$s out o" his eyes so that he could see me clearer He al'ays had nice hair !n the past, he 'ould, literally, use a #ottle o" hair products to style his hair, #ut he didn%t need it His hair looked #est 'hen he ;ust 'oke up, mussed it around 'ith his "in$ers and then le"t the house 5ot to mention, it 'as al'ays so"t and nice to run your "in$ers throu$h D$h Lathetic Lathetic Lathetic Cim ,u (i, you are hal" drunk and yet you still oo$le at your loser o" an exF#oy"riend ,es, continue callin$ him a loser !" you keep tellin$ yoursel" that, you%ll start to #elieve it He%s stupid, can%t 'rite lyrics, compares you to meat products, cheesy, u$ly, hot as hell, idiRoh, 'ait, 5O, ! didn%t say that ,eah, he%s 6uite #rilliant, ! tried to say in a convincin$ voice, his 'ords are strai$ht "rom the heart ! hit my chest "or extra emphasis 2nd ;ust #ecause karma adores me so much B ,oA =ra$on dude1 !s that your name1 &hat%s a "ly ass name, Seun$ Hyun said loudly, comin$ up #eside me <round, please s'allo' me up, no' ,eah, it%s <F=ra$on, he said this to'ards Seun$ Hyun, #ut ! kne' he 'as lookin$ at me, even thou$h ! 'as still starin$ at the $round 'aitin$ "or it to open up and ! could "all in 2h, 'ell, !%m &OL ,ou kno', like @top o" the 'orld% or @tip top shape% or the @toy top% and !%m pretty tall, too, so ! top over people, Seun$ Hyun said 'ith a loud lau$h 'hich 'as slo'ly "ollo'ed #y 9i ,on$%s apprehensive one Oh, $od !" there 'as a time to do the @duck and cover% procedure, it 'ould #e, no' ! think it 'as time to leave #e"ore Seun$ Hyun made a #i$$er idiot out o" himsel" *and me+, or even 'orse 9i ,on$ 'ould introduce his pretty date to us Okay, 'ell it 'as really nice seein$ youA ! suddenly cried out 'ith an overly cheer"ul voice, and $ra##ed Seun$ Hyun%s arm See you aroundA ! turned around and tu$$ed him a'ay 'ith me #e"ore 9i ,on$ could say another 'ord Once 'e 'ere settled in our seats, ! let out a loud si$h !t still hurt Even in my hal" drunken state, it still hurt

.as that your ex1 Seun$ Hyun asked me, thou$ht"ully and 6uite calmly, as 'ell His moods ;ust chan$e 'ith the snap o" a "in$er !t 'as a #it scary ! nodded He poured me another shot o" so;u, al#eit his hand 'as a #it shaky He handed the over"lo'in$ shot to me =rink a'ay your sorro's is my motto, toni$ht ! accepted the drink and hastily do'ned it Ey "ace $rimaced at the #itter taste #urnin$ my throat Hear, hear, ! mana$ed to $asp out !%m $oin$ to #ecome an alcoholic #y the end o" the ni$ht FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ! have the stran$est ur$e to #urst into son$ ! also think that people need to stop movin$ so "ast Choi Seun$ Hyun needs to stop s'ayin$ =id he ;ust say that he 'as a hot do$1 ! asked, 'hile lookin$ at the manRor 'as it menRon the sta$e ! don%t kno', Seun$ Hyun replied, ! thou$ht he said #lo';o# .hat1 &his is a <Frated environmentA Oh yeah, so very <Frated, and these, he picked up a near empty so;u #ottle, are really "illed 'ith coke and ;ust dis$uised as so;u ! #linked (eally1 5oA he exclaimed and shook his head at my naivety, #ut then he paused 2ctually, you never kno' .e could #e drinkin$ coke, #ut since 'e #elieve that 'e%re drinkin$ so;u, our mind could #e chan$in$ the s'eet taste o" coke into somethin$ #itter like so;u B Eay#e it 'as time that 'e le"t &he so;u 'as, clearly, $ettin$ startin$ to have an e""ect on us and it "elt like the $round 'as movin$ ,ah, Choi Seun$ HyunA 3et%s leaveA ! clapped his #ack, #ut apparently it 'as too hard #ecause he lurched "or'ard and almost hit his head on the ta#le Oops1 Drm, sorR ! couldn%t "inish 'hat ! 'as sayin$ #ecause a scene out o" the corner o" my eye cau$ht my interest

! sa' 9i ,on$ $ettin$ up to leave 'ith his date !" this 'as under normal circumstances, meanin$ i" ! 'asn%t sittin$ here 'ith a #oy 'ho 'as in love 'ith a plastic plant and completely drunk, ! 'ouldn%t have done anythin$ But, seein$ that ! was here drunk and in the company o" &OL, ! did do somethin$ &his sudden impulse aroused 'ithin me ! really 'anted to $o over there to 9i ,on$ 5ot only did ! 'ant to $o over there, ! 'anted to $o over there and yell and scream thin$s that !%ve kept inside "or a very lon$ time ! 'anted to tell the elephant to ;ust leave the kitchen -orever But somethin$ 'as pullin$ me #ack !t 'as like a #attle #et'een the sane and the insane in my head .ell, actually, more like the so#er and the drunk Sane and so#er 'as losin$ out 2s i" ! had no control over my #ody, !, suddenly, "ound mysel" 4 steps a'ay "rom 9i ,on$%s ta#le .hoa .hen did the $round start movin$1 !s there an earth6uake1 .hy isn%t anyone yellin$ and screamin$1 .e could die at any second Oh, 'ell !" ! 'as $oin$ to die #y an earth6uake, then ! mi$ht as 'ell do this, ri$ht no' ,ah, C'on 9i ,on$A ! yelled out, placin$ my hand on the ta#le to #alance mysel" He turned around, slo'ly, and $ave me a 6uestionin$ lookR'ell, at least, ! think he $ave me a 6uestionin$ look Ey vision 'asn%t exactly per"ect, at the moment ! 'ant to kno' somethin$, ! said o#noxiously Even lookin$ #ack, ! still crin$e at this moment Ho' is it that you can ;ust end thin$s like &H2&, ! tried to snap my "in$ers , #ut it didn%t exactly 'ork out, and ;ust continue on 'ith your li"e as i" the past year hasn%t happened, huh1 &hat little #reak up in the alleyA .hat the "u ck 'as that1 ,ou couldn%t even E25 DL and #reak up 'ith me some'here nicer1 2nd, you are an elephant ,u (i, 9i ,on$ said 6uietly and moved closer to'ards me to $ra# my arm Eay#e 'e should talk somR 5oA ! yelled out, t'istin$ my arm out o" his $rasp ! didn%t care anymore ! didn%t care that ! 'as makin$ an idiot out o" mysel" ! didn%t care that people had started to stare ! didn%t care that ! 'as $oin$ to re$ret this the next day 3et%s do it no' 2t least, $ive me a #etter excuse o" @! have to stop #ein$ sel"ish and #ein$ #rony soo,% or 'hatever you saiR !, suddenly, stopped talkin$ 'hen my head #e$an to spin and the people and settin$s around me #e$an to #lur &he last thin$ ! remem#ered #e"ore everythin$ 'ent #lack 'as someone callin$ out my name and stron$ arms catchin$ me FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF .hy did it "eel like someone had ;ust taken a hammer and hit it a million times on my head1 Oh, you%re "inally a'akeA said a voice to my le"t in a relieved tone ,ou are never allo'ed to drink so;u, ever a$ain, in your li"e

! turned my head sli$htly and sa' Seun$ (i sittin$ on the side o" my #ed 'ith a concerned look ,ou are so stupid Can you stop yellin$1 ! said in a $ro$$y voice, and pushed mysel" up into a sittin$ position ,our voice is makin$ my headache 'orse !%m not even yellin$, !%m 'hisperin$, noona, Seun$ (i said in a so"ter voice Oh, really1 ! shook mysel" and ru##ed my eyes, hopin$ that it 'ould allo' me to read;ust to the 'orld and make the spinnin$ stop .hy are you so stupid1 =o you kno' ho' much e""ort it took me to $et over here1 ! had to sneak out o" my 'indo' and you kno' that ! live on the third "loor and that "limsy #ranch almost killed meA !t 'as / 2E, too, sometimes ! thinkRoh, hold on, cell phone%s rin$in$ Hello1 Dmma1 ! had to $et to school early to print out an article B Okay, you don%t have Gno, you can%t machine 'ash that s'eater !t%s very delicatRoh, never mind, !%ll hand 'ash it mysel" B Okay, #yeA Seun$ (i hu""ed and snapped his cell phone shut and turned to $lare at me 25=, ! ;ust had to lie to my umma "or you .ait, so ho'%d ! $et here1 ! asked in a con"used voice and clearly still o#livious to my settin$s ! $ot a call at exactly / 2E and it completely messed up my sleep, he then pointed to his prominent under eye circles ,ou see these circles1 &hey%re a shade darker and it%s all your "ault, Cim ,u (iA ! really couldn%t see much o" a di""erence, #ut ! didn%t say anythin$ &o tell you the truth, they 'ere al'ays that shade o" colour So at / 2E, ! $et a call "rom your exF#oy"riend to meet him hereR#y the 'ay, 'hat the hell are you doin$ 'ith him1 .hy 'eren%t you 'ith &OL1 he asked, #ut didn%t $ive me enou$h time to let the 6uestion sink in ,ou 'ere completely gone 9i ,on$ carried you up to the apartment G oh yeah, ! may not like him, #ut he%s really stron$ ! didn%t expect those scra'ny arms o" his to #e a#le to carry you 2re you sayin$ that !%m "at1 ! cried out, #ut then the other part o" Seun$ (i%s speech "inally re$istered in my head .ait, 9i ,on$ #rou$ht me home1 Seun$ (i nodded He ;ust dropped me o"" and le"t1 ! asked in a slo' voice Dm, B not exactly Seun$ (i 'alked over to my #edroom door and opened it He tilted his head outside the door He%s sleepin$ in the livin$ room, ri$ht no' Ey eyes literally popped out ! 6uickly $ot out o" #edRmay#e a #it too 6uick, #ecause ! stum#led due to my incoherent mindRand poked my head out o" the door"rame &here he 'as

C'on 9i ,on$ 'as sleepin$ on my couch 'ith the pink, scratchy #lanket coverin$ him .ell, !%ll #e damned &his 'as $oin$ to #e an interestin$ mornin$ a"ter

Chapter Eleven
Oh, dear $od .hy 'as this happenin$ today1 !" this 'as yesterday, ! 'ouldVve #een prepared Okay, may#e not, #ut at least yesterday didnVt include me #ein$ hun$ over and makin$ a complete ass out o" mysel" in "ront o" hundreds o" people Hundreds o" people that included my exF#oy"riend C'on 9i ,on$ ,eah, yesterday 'ouldVve #een #etter .hat 'as ! doin$ yesterday1 Oh, ri$ht, tellin$ Ein H'an a#out this ne' yo$a pro$ram that 'ould not only tone your #ody #ut you 'ould lose all that excess "at on your "ace ! remem#er him askin$ me 'hy ! 'as so ea$er "or him to ;oin this yo$a class .ell, Ein H'an, itVs to save my o'n hide #ecause i" you donVt lose 'ei$ht soon, Lark Eun ,oun$ is $oin$ to hunt me do'n and kill me "or makin$ you, her undera$ed love interest, o#ese "rom all those cupcakes !Vve $iven you O" course, ! didnVt say this, #ut rather, ! ;ust said that yo$a is $ood "or the mind, #ody and soul He lapped it ri$ht up Sometimes, ! think heVs a Seun$ (i in trainin$ Y.hat are you $oin$ to do1Y Seun$ (i asked 6uietly "rom #ehind me ! continued to stare at 9i ,on$Vs sleepin$ "orm Y! donVt kno' Y Y.hat do you mean you donVt kno'1Y he said in a louder voice Y.ake him up and kick him outY ! pulled my head #ack in to stare at him Y.hat1Y He si$hed heavily and #e$an to pace #ack and "orth across my room Y.hatVs so di""icult a#out this situation1 =o you not remem#er 'hat youVve $one throu$h the past "e' 'eeks1Y ,es, yes ! do !Vve #een sli$htly cra)ier than normal !Vve made over 0PP cupcakes ! 'ent to a support $roup meetin$ and 'as told to take a leap !Vve had someone con"ess that they liked me and then they passed out on my livin$ room "loor ! 'ent to a poetry readin$ clu# that $ave me "ree alcohol !Vve learned that Seun$ HyunVs "avourite colour is #lue Oh, and ! canVt "or$et that my exF#oy"riend, the one sleepin$ 'ith a pink #lanket in my livin$ room ri$ht no', #roke up 'ith me &hat sounds a#out ri$ht O" course, ! didnVt say this out loud, so all ! did instead 'as shru$ and nod at the #oy in "ront o"

me &his act really in"uriated Seun$ (i #ecause he $ave a little s6ueal and made a motion 'ith his hands as i" to stran$le me YDm, ! think this is a $ood time to start those !ndian mediation chants,Y ! su$$ested nervously He hu""ed in response and took a step closer to'ards me Y6e,Y he pointed to the door #ehind him, Yis the reason 'hy you 'ere this close to #ein$ locked up in a padded room Y Y&ch ! may #e cra)y, #ut !Vm not cra)y enou$h to #e shipped a'ay to a mental institution,Y ! reasoned Y5ever mind that, $o kick him out,Y Seun$ (i 'alked to the door "rame to poke his head out once a$ain Y.hat is he wearing1 &hat ;acket is so #ri$ht !tVs lime $reen, "or $od sakeAY Y.hy didnVt you tell him to leave, last ni$ht, then1Y ! asked, slo'ly, 'alkin$ to stand #eside him Ey head 'as still poundin$ 'ith an insistent pain Y,ou should kno' that #ri$ht colours are all the ra$e, these days Y YBecause at the time, ! 'as still in shock that ! had to sneak out o" my 'indo' to take care o" a certain noona, meet up 'ith that noonaVs exF#oy"riend and make sure that that exF#oy"riend didnVt try to take advanta$e o" that noona1Y he told me, as i" it 'as the most o#vious thin$ in the 'orld Y2nd #ri$ht colours are not in this seasonA .ild patterns and neutral tones are in Y He pointed to his o'n out"it that consisted o" a "orm "ittin$ shirt that had #ro'n horses all over it and a random chicken on the sleeve YHe 'ould never do that, #a#o,Y ! chastised him Y2nd, "ashionista or not, Seun$ (i, thereVs a#out 4P #oys that 'ould #e 'earin$ 'hat 9i ,on$ is 'earin$ and ! donVt think anyone 'ould 'ear 'hat youVre 'earin$ and say that itVs in style Y Y&ch ,ou never kno', #oys can #e stran$e, sometimes,Y he said 'ith a roll o" the eyes YSo 'hat you said ;ust proves that ! am ahead o" the "ashion 'orld and your exF#oy"riend is ;ust "ollo'in$ the trend 'hereas !Vm makin$ itA &rust me, in a "e' 'eeks youVll see people 'earin$ my out"it and in 7 years, youVll #e seein$ this in Canada and 2merica Y Y,ouVre totally $ivin$ #oys a #ad name and you?re one 9i ,on$ isnVt like that ,ou should kno' Y ! peeked outside the door a$ain and sa' 9i ,on$ move ! "ro)e, thinkin$ that he had 'oken up, #ut he continued to li$htly snore Y.hy three years1Y Y,our exF#oy"riend snores &hatVs ;ust lovely,Y he said 'ith dry sarcasm and turned #ack to look at me Y.ell, Corea and 9apan are three years ahead o" the .est, "ashion 'ise So i" some random Canadian #oy 'ore my out"it today, heVd pro#a#ly $et #eat up, #ut in three years, itVll #e the hottest thin$, ever Y Y,ou are cra)y Y YHah, comin$ "rom you1Y He s6uinted his eyes a$ain at 9i ,on$ Y.hy does it look like heVs 'earin$ polyester1Y YCra)iness is conta$ious,Y ! said nonchalantly Y&hat is not polyester, itVs cotton 2ctually, 'hatVs the di""erence #et'een polyester and cotton1 !Vve al'ays 'anted to kno' Y

YCra)iness is not conta$ious ,ou ;ust think it is #ecause youVre so cra)y and there"ore, you think everyone around you is cra)y, too Y He paused, most likely to rethink 'hat he had ;ust said .hat1 2nd he says that heVs sane YHo' do you kno' the di""erence #et'een polyester and cotton1 &hey are, virtually, the same material Y ! repeated Y&ch &o the untrained and un"ashiona#le eye,Y he $ave me a pointed look, Ythey look the same, #ut as "or someone like me 'hoVs trained in the art o" "a#rics and materials, ! can spot the di""erence Y

Y2re you sure youVre not $ay1 &hat youVre totally not usin$ Seun$ Hyun "or your o'n sexual needs or somethin$1Y ! asked curiously Seun$ (i #e$an to sputter incoherent 'ords at me He tends to do that a lot 'hen talk o" his sexuality is 6uestioned !tVs amusin$, really ,ep, de"initely $ettin$ the V'orst noonaV a'ard Y.ell, heVs clearly supportin$ child slavery,Y he stated "irmly a"ter recoverin$ "rom his "laily incident Y &hat is so random Y YEi$hty seven percent o" polyester clothin$ is "unded #y s'eat shops, noona,Y he told me, Yand your exF#oy"riend is supportin$ malnourished children 'orkin$ "or less than a 'on an hour 2re you proud o" that1Y Seun$ (i is ! donVt even have the 'ord "or it

! shook my head at him in disappointment YChild slavery and s'eat shops are t'o di""erent thin$s Y Y5ot really S'eat shops are places 'here kids $et paid at horri#le 'a$es #y makin$ clothin$ "or people like us and 'e $et char$ed at ridiculous prices "or these clothes &hese prices are 'ay a#ove the production costs !n a 'ay, theyVre "orced to slave a'ay #y makin$ these clothes "or us: their masters !n a 'ay, .E are the slave masters "orcin$ these children to make the clothes .e consume? 'e 'ant? they make !tVs 6uite simple, really,Y he said 'hile noddin$ his head vi$orously Eay#e it 'as #ecause ! 'as hun$ over and it 'as U 2E in the mornin$, #ut ! "ound his statement 6uite pro"ound !Vm not sure i" ! 'ouldVve "elt the same 'ay i" ! 'as so#er and this 'as a"ter noon Y .hen did you $et so deep1Y Y,ou think o" a lot o" random thin$s 'hen youVre in the kitchen #akin$ cupcakes "or a deran$ed and psycho noona,Y he said simply 'ith a nod ! nodded and turned to look #ack outside, #ut did a dou#le take and smacked Seun$ (i on the arm YHeyA ! am not deran$ed and psychoAY

Y2ishAY he ru##ed the place 'here ! had lightly hit him Y2nd you say youVre not psycho Y ! rolled my eyes at him and peeked at 9i ,on$ a$ain YHe could #e 'earin$ clothes "rom the thirteen percent o" polyester that isn?t made "rom s'eat shops, did you ever think o" that1Y Y5o, heVs 'earin$ s'eat shop sponsored clothin$, #ecause he $ets paid crap at his little ;o#, and he canVt a""ord nonFs'eat shop polyester clothin$ Y Y&hatVs ridiculous !" ! canVt tell the di""erence #et'een cotton and polyester, ! hi$hly dou#t that you can tell the di""erence #et'een s'eat shop and nonFs'eat shop produced polyester,Y ! ar$ued, tearin$ my $a)e a'ay "rom 9i ,on$ Y.ell, "or starters, cotton is a natural material versus polyester 'hich is manmade,Y he told me politely Y,our exF#oy"riend 'ould most likely $o "or manmade clothes #ecause his sexuality is al'ays in 6uestion Y

Y.hat1 &hat is the most illo$ical thin$ !Vve ever heard in my li"e,Y ! said to Seun$ (i in dis#elie" ! think he thinks a little #it too much 'hile heVs #akin$ cupcakes Y2nd, no' that ! think a#out it, that ;acket looks like an electric $reen colour versus lime $reen,Y he said to me, completely i$norin$ my comment YElectric $reen and lime $reen are the same colourAY He narro'ed his eyes at me Y2re you serious1 =o you 'ant me to $o throu$h the colour palette 'ith you1Y Y!tVs lime $reen,Y ! stated "irmly, stickin$ to my #elie"s YElectric $reen,Y Seun$ (iVs voice $ot a #it harder, Yand itVs s'eat shop produced material Y Y5o, lime $reen and cotton Y ! turned to "ace him and placed my hands on my hips YElectricAY Seun$ (iVs eyes "lashed and copied my position Y3!EEAY YChild slavery induced materialAY Y(e$ular cotton made my normal 'a$ed peopleAY YE3EC&(!C <(EE5 E2&E(!23 E2=E B, S&2(T!5< 2-(!C25 CH!3=(E5AY Y3!EE <(EE5 CO&&O5 E2&E(!23 E2=E !5 2EE(!C2AY Y2ctually, itVs lime $reen and itVs polyester made "rom Canada Y Seun$ (i and ! $ave each other #lank looks 5one o" us had opened our mouths to talk, and

none o" us had that much o" a distinct voice Our #lank looks turned to slo' nervous ones 'hen 'e turned to the le"t *ri$ht in Seun$ (iVs case+ and sa' C'on 9i ,on$ leanin$ on the door "rame ! love li"e, donVt you1 Y.hy 'ould you think that ! 'ould support s'eat shop produced materials1Y 9i ,on$ asked Seun$ (i curiously Once $ettin$ over the shock that 9i ,on$ 'as indeed a'ake and had heard our ar$ument a#out the colour o" his ;acket and i" he supported 2"rican children se'in$, Seun$ (i 6uickly #e$an to talk Y5ever mind that Y <reat <reat response, Seun$ (i &here 'as a moment o" a'k'ard silence "rom all three o" us ! mean, 'hat 'ere you supposed to say in a situation like this1 Seun$ (i 'as t'iddlin$ his thum#s, 9i ,on$ 'as lookin$ at the $round and ! 'as ;ust 'onderin$ 'hy my room 'as so damn #ri$ht -inally, Seun$ (i #roke the silence YOkay, so you see, noonaVs a'ake and youVre a'ake, so you can leave no',Y he said 'ith a #ri$ht smile and pointed to the door HeVs a $reat mood killer, i" you hadnVt noticed Y2ctually, ! think he needs toFFY YSorryFFactually, !Vm notFF#ut ,u (i andFFY 9i ,on$ and ! exchan$ed uneasy looks -unny ho' even a"ter a "e' months apart, you could still #e thinkin$ o" the same thin$ as that person and voice it at the same time, as 'ell Seun$ (i kept s'itchin$ his $a)e "rom me and 9i ,on$ He, "inally, thre' his hands up in "rustration and si$hed heavily Y-ineA !tVs only #ecause ! kno' this talk is one month overdue, BD&,Y he pointed at the #oth o" us, Yyou #etter take this conversation out to the livin$ room Y He #e$an to shoo the #oth o" us out o" my #edroom and to'ards the livin$ room ! settled mysel" in the seat next to the pink #lanket and Seun$ HyunVs hot pink scar" 'hile 9i ,on$ sat directly in "ront o" me Y!Vm $ivin$ you,Y he looked do'n at his 'atch, Yone hour !Vm comin$ up at I:/8, on the dot Y He then looked to'ards 9i ,on$, 'ho had a #ored expression on his "ace Y,ahAY He pointed at 9i ,on$ Y,ou #etter not try any "unny #usiness Y 9i ,on$ rolled his eyes and 'aved his hand to dismiss him Y9ust $o Y Y=id you ;ust dismiss me1 Oh, hellFFY YSeun$ (iAY ! ;umped up "rom my seat, not 'antin$ a "i$ht to erupt in the apartment ! #e$an to lead him to'ards the door YCalm do'nA Come #ack up in an hour Y

Y2ish, heVs so stupid, noona, he #etter come out o" the apartment 'ith a "e' #ruises,Y he 'hispered harshly to me He then turned his head to call out to 9i ,on$, Y!- ,OD ETE5 =O 25,&H!5<A ! .!33 C4' ,ODFFY YSED5< (!AY He turned #ack around YSorry, too harsh1 ! 'as 'atchin$ a random 2merican rap sho', last ni$ht ! think itVs startin$ to take its toll on me Y Y,ou think1Y =espite my #ehaviour at the moment, ! 'as very $rate"ul to have Seun$ (i here Cra)iness and his a#ility to over exa$$erate thin$s aside, he 'as a $ood "riend YBut, thanks "or #ein$ here,Y ! added in a so"t 'hisper Seun$ (i $ave me a reassurin$ smile Y=onVt 'orry, noona Everythin$ 'ill 'ork out in the end Y He mouthed @"i$htin$% to me and then made his 'ay out the door, leavin$ me alone 'ith the elephant ! 6uietly closed the door #ehind him Even a"ter ! heard the so"t click o" the door lockin$, ! couldnVt "orce mysel" to turn around 5ot ;ust yet Ey hand still strayed on the kno# and my eyes 'ere "ocused on the #ri$htly painted door .hat 'as 'ron$ 'ith me1 !snVt this 'hat ! 'anted1 &o tell o"" C'on 9i ,on$, once and "or all1 .ell, actually, ! think ! mi$ht have done that yesterday O" course, in my mind, ! 'as hopin$ to do it so#er #ut #e$$ars canVt #e choosers But &hatVs not 'hat ! really 'anted .hat ! really 'anted 'as to kno' why1 .hy 'as ! le"t 'ith a #roken heart and a shattered mind in a dirty little alley 'ay on TalentineVs =ay1 Once ! "ound out 'hy, ! could move on But, did ! really 'ant to move on1 &ake my stupid leap into the unkno'n, like Son$ 9i Hee said1 Y,u (i1Y 9i ,on$ called out tentatively ! closed my eyes and clenched the doorkno# ti$htly (i$ht, you can do this ,u (i -!<H&!5<A

&hat 'as so lame Only people in dramas say that Once ! "ound a sense o" reassurance, my eyes slo'ly opened ! let $o o" the doorkno#, and slo'ly turned around to "ind 9i ,on$ standin$ in the middle o" the livin$ room His lime $reen ;acket clashed 'ith the a6uamarine colour o" the room, and yet he still stood there 'ith such con"idence Hesitantly, ! 'alked to'ards him, tryin$ to avoid any needed eye contact ! sat do'n on the plushy so"a and re$arded his interestin$ out"it choice He 'as 'earin$ his typical loud out"it that consisted o" #ri$ht colours and 6uestiona#le style !t made a statement !t

made people reco$ni)e him HeVs al'ays #een like that HeVs al'ays #een the type that loves attention? the type that revels in the looks o" deli$ht "rom an audience ! al'ays 'ondered ho' someone like him, could ever pay the same amount o" attention that others did to him, to someone else Eore speci"ically, me But, in the #e$innin$ sta$es o" our relationship, he al'ays had the a#ility to make me "eel as i" ! 'as the only person he sa' !t didnVt matter i" there 'ere hundreds o" people surroundin$ us? he al'ays made me "eel as i" ! 'as the only other person in the universe Corny as that may sound, it 'as true He 'as used to the spotli$ht? used to people screamin$ out his names at talent contests, #ut he $ave me the same adoration his "ans $ave him 'hen he 'as 'ith me But, thatVs in the past !, slo'ly, s'itched my $a)e "rom his attention $ra##in$ out"it up to his "ace He looked so calm? so indi""erent? so apathetic ! 'ondered ho' thin$s could #e so easy "or him Ho' is it so easy "or someone to ;ust stop carin$1 He seated himsel" in his ori$inal spot and looked me s6uarely in the eye 'ith an expression ! couldnVt read ! 'as so used to him #ein$ an open #ook !" 9i ,on$ 'as sad, he 'ould cry *althou$h he 'ould never admit that to anyone+ !" he 'as happy, he 'ould lau$h, loudly !" somethin$ 'orried him, you could tell automatically But this this, ! couldnVt understand ! didnVt kno' 'hat that expression on his "ace meant ! didnVt kno' 'hether to #race mysel", relax or ;ust #e completely indi""erent to the 'hole situation like ho' he 'as doin$, ri$ht no' 2n uncom"orta#le silence settled upon us Ey $a)e had averted to the lar$e pink cupcake on the ta#le !Vm not even sure ho' ! missed it, three days a$o, 'hen ! #inned my "ailed and psychotic attempts at cupcake #akin$ &he icin$ looked hard, and the cupcake itsel" 'as, 'ithout a dou#t, stale !t sat there on the small co""ee ta#le 'ith its rain#o' sprinkles, starin$ at me? mockin$ me ! had the most undenia#le ur$e to thro' it a$ainst the 'all Be"ore ! could act on any rash impulses, 9i ,on$ spoke Y,u (i, ! didnVt kno' that last ni$ht 'ouldFFY Y.hat happened to Seun$ Hyun1Y ! suddenly cut him o"" ! donVt kno' 'hy .hy 'as ! tryin$ to put o"" this talk &his is 'hat you 'anted, Cim ,u (i .hy #other delayin$ it1 -or a split second, ! sa' that unreada#le "ace o" his chan$e !t 'as 6uick, #ut ! cau$ht it 2s 6uickly as it appeared, it chan$ed #ack to the #lank expression he had #e"ore Y.ell, he 'as in no condition to take you home a"ter youFF'ell, you kno'FFpassed out One o" the #artenders is a "riend o" mine, so he helped put him in a ca# !t 'as a $ood thin$ that heVs a mem#er o" the V9oy 3uck (eadin$ Clu#V #ecause his mem#ership pass had his address on it,Y he said 'ith an added hal" smile 9oy 3uck (eadin$ Clu#1 .hy are you so em#arrassin$, Choi Seun$ Hyun1 &he 9oy 3uck (eadin$ Clu# 'as a #ook clu# "or middle a$ed 'omen &he mem#ers 'ere usually in their late 7PsFearly KPs and 'ere $enerally house'ives Seun$ (i did mention that Seun$ Hyun liked older 'omen, #ut ! didnVt think he liked old 'omen -or his sake, ! really hoped that Soo Ha 'as a mem#er o" that #ook clu# Y&hey had a hell o" a time tryin$ to take the plant a'ay "rom him, thou$h ! think he 'as sayin$ somethin$ a#out it #ein$ his "irst true love1Y 9i ,on$ said in an amused voice

5ote to sel": 5ever choose Seun$ Hyun as a "ake #oy"riend, ever a$ain Y! ended up ridin$ in the ca# 'ith you and called Seun$ (i on the 'ay here,Y he continued Y!Vm surprised he let you stay,Y ! said, "inally sayin$ somethin$ His "ace #roke into a $rin and ! think ! "elt my pulse $o a #it "aster YEe, too ! still had to try pretty hard, thou$h ! think he 'as too shocked to see you passed out at t'o in the mornin$ to really put in any e""ort to kick me out Y ! nodded and suddenly smiled to mysel" 'hen a lon$ a$o memory resur"aced onto my mind YCan you #lame him1 ,ou are the one 'ho #roke his electric mixer #ecause you 'ere curious to see i" a #a$el could turn into a li6uid concoction1Y Hal" o" the reason 'hy Seun$ (i had an intense hatred "or 9i ,on$ 'as #ecause he had destroyed his electric mixer Seun$ (i had saved up t'o years 'orth o" Christmas and #irthday money to #uy that mixer o" his? it 'as his #a#y !t took t'o years to #uy it and less than 4P seconds "or it to #reak and #e deemed completely useless and it 'as all C'on 9i ,on$Vs "ault ,es, it 'as a stupid reason to hate someone, #ut itVs Seun$ (i 'eVre talkin$ a#out YHey, at least ! paid "or hal" o" the dama$es,Y he ar$ued Y,ou shouldVve paid "or the "ull amount,Y ! said 'ith a small smile, Ythen may#e he 'ouldnVt hate you so much and then he 'ouldVve actually helped you make that cake "or our 7PP day anniversary ,ou 'ouldnVt have had to lie a#out that cake you VmadeV 'hen it 'as clearly store #ou$ht Y Y!tVs the thou$ht that countsAY He tilted his head sli$htly and $ave me that cheesy $rin o" his ! couldnVt help #ut smile #ack !tVs ;ust the 'ay he is His moods 'ere al'ays conta$ious ! suddenly reali)ed ho' comfortable 'e 'ere Ho' 6uickly 'as it that 'e ;ust "ell #ack to ho' 'e used to act around one another #e"ore all this chaos #e$an !t scared me, a #it Our unusually "riendly conversation ended and another moment o" 6uietness #e$an YSo, are you really seein$ him1Y he asked, #reakin$ the silence YHm, 'ho1Y Y&OL1 !s he actually your #oy"riend1Y ! "elt my cheeks #urn up, #ut it 'as out o" em#arrassment "or last ni$ht and ho' Seun$ Hyun 'as in love 'ith a plant 9i ,on$, on the other hand, mistakened my #lush "or con"irmation Y!s he the same $uy "rom the co""ee shop1Y Co""ee shop1 2h, the co""ee shop

! $uess he took my silence as a$reement, once a$ain, #ecause he continued talkin$ Y! #umped into &ae ,an$ a"ter ! sa' you that day ! told him that ! sa' you at the co""ee shop already 'ith another $uy,Y he paused a moment to lau$h to himsel" .as he $oin$ cra)y1 He $ave me a $rim smile ! hated those types o" smiles Smiles should only mean one thin$ and that meanin$ is happiness Y! donVt think !Vve drank that much since the ni$ht o" your art exhi#it,Y he said in a 'ist"ul tone, as i" he 'as reminiscin$ a#out that ni$ht YO" course, &ae ,an$, #ein$ the $reat "riend he is, came 'ith me But you kno' 'hat1 &ae ,an$, the one 'ho hardly ever drinks, 'ell, ! think he drank more than me that ni$ht ! asked him 'hy he 'as tryin$ to $et alcohol poisonin$ and he ;ust shru$$ed and kept orderin$ more so;u Y =amn =id he really kno'1 =id o#livious, horri#le rhymin$ C'on 9i ,on$ really notice that his #est "riend, =on$ &ae ,an$, 'as developin$ "eelin$s "or his exF$irl"riend1 Y=o you think !Vm #lind1 Stupid1Y he suddenly asked ,es Y&o not kno' that my #est "riend is slo'ly startin$ to like my, at the time, $irl"riend1Y Or, not He #e$an to pace #ack and "orth across the room, 'hile ! sat on the couch, listenin$ to his 'ords Y! should #e mad, out o" control and ;ealous #eyond #elie" But, the thin$ is, !Vm not !Vm relieved Y .hat1 He stopped his "rantic 'alkin$ 'hen he reali)ed the look on my "ace Y!Vm relieved Y .as it #ecause ! had drank too much alcohol last ni$ht1 Because, 'hat he 'as sayin$ 'as makin$ no sense, at all !t 'as "rustratin$ ! ;ust 'anted a strai$ht "or'ard ans'er Y.hat are you talkin$ a#out1 Ho' can you try and drink a'ay your li"e #ecause you sa' me 'ith another #oy 25= #e relieved that your #est "riend may like me1 2(E ,OD =(D5C, (!<H& 5O., &OO1 .hy canVt you ;ust $ive me a strai$ht ans'er as to 'hy everythin$ happened1Y He $ave me a $rin a"ter hearin$ my out#urst ,es, another $rin Ho' anyone could #e smilin$ at a time like this, ! couldnVt understand ! really 'anted to "lin$ that stale cupcake at his "ace, ri$ht no' He shoved his hands into his ;acket pockets and si$hed, as i" this 'as somethin$ hard "or him to say .hy 'ould it #e hard1 He had already done the "irst step o" carryin$ out the action o" endin$ thin$s, no' all he had to do 'as ;ust tell me the 'hy &hen everythin$ 'ould #e "ine and

! could move on (i$ht1 Y! told you,Y he said 6uietly, lookin$ me strai$ht in the eye Y!t 'as time to stop #ein$ sel"ish Y Excuse me1 He si$hed a$ain, and craned his head #ack to stare #rie"ly at the ceilin$ Y(elationships are di""icult &heyVre like plants Y ! #linked .as he seriously usin$ the metaphor o" plants to descri#e 'hat 'e had1 .as he sure that he 'asnVt drunk1 Or hi$h1 Or chemically im#alanced on somethin$1 Y&he 'hole point o" havin$ a plant is to 'atch it $ro' !t starts o"" as a tiny seed ,ou take care o" it and it $ro's into a tall and proud plant,Y he said as he 'alked #ack and "orth He paused "or a moment 'hen he sa' my stunned expression #ut then 6uickly resumed, Y.e never $re', ,u (i .e continued to stay short and stu##y Y Seriously1 Seriously <od, 9i ,on$ ,our metaphors suck Short and stu##y1 (eally, no' Y&hen, eventually, the plant dies Y He 'as talkin$ like he 'as tellin$ a $reat "airy tale 'here the prince kills the deadly dra$on, #ut his version included plants Y.hatVs the point o" keepin$ a dead plant1 ,ou can 'ater it and put it out in the sun all you 'ant, #ut itVs still dead? itVs never $oin$ to $ro' Y &hat is true ! $uess

Y&hatVs us .e 'ere a dead plant Y He paused .ay to put it #luntly1 He took a "e' steps to'ards me so that he stood directly in "ront o" me ! had to crane my neck up to look at him Y!Vm $lad that &ae ,an$ likes you,Y he suddenly said Y&his pro#a#ly $oes a$ainst all the $olden rules "or "riendship, #ut !Vm $lad Y 5o kiddin$ Ho' does his #rain 'orFF'ait, huh1 YHeVs much more #oy "riend material,Y he said in a 6uiet voice and then continued to pace across the room Y.ell, at least, a lot more so than me Y Ho' Lrince Charmin$Fes6ue o" you, C'on 9i ,on$

5o, actually itVs very reminiscent o" the clichHd sel" sacri"icin$ moment in movies &he kind that is completely useless and un'anted

! donVt kno' 'hatVs 'ron$ 'ith me Here he is, C'on "reakin$ 9i ,on$, standin$ in "ront o" me, tellin$ me the reasonFFal#eit in horri#le metaphorsFFas to why everythin$ has happened and yet my head is "illed 'ith sarcastic and indi""erent remarks ! 'asnVt even sayin$ a sin$le 'ord Sometimes, ! think ! need to seek pro"essional help Eay#e Seun$ (i 'as ri$ht a#out those padded rooms Or or, ! could ;ust speak up and tell him ho' ridiculous he 'as soundin$

Y2re you tellin$ me that you #roke up 'ith me on TalentineVs =ay so that &ae ,an$ could have a chance 'ith me1Y ! asked, a"ter 9i ,on$ had stopped talkin$, 'hich 'as really ama)in$ that he did #ecause he loves to hear the sound o" his o'n voice &hat $ot his attention He automatically stopped in his steps and stared at me 'ith a dum#"ounded expression Y5oA O" course notAY <ettin$ a strai$ht ans'er 'as impossi#le Y&hen, 'hat the hell are you talkin$ a#out1Y ! said, exasperatedly ! 'as $ettin$ tired So tired o" all o" this He moved to stand across "rom me Y.e 'ere a dead plant Eay#e, &ae ,an$ is the 'ater and sun that can help you $ro' 2ndFFand you can ;ust leave me as a dead lea" or somethin$ Y Y9i ,on$,Y ! interrupted him YLlease stop talkin$ in metaphors Llain and #asic lan$ua$e 'ould #e nice today Y ,ou can only understand so much this early in the mornin$ and the "act that ! 'as hun$ over really 'asnVt helpin$, either He actually smiled at me !t 'as a real, $enuine smile 5ot a smirk 5ot a #itter smile 2 true smile But it 6uickly disappeared 'hen he started to talk a$ain Y&hereVs no point in continuin$ on in somethin$ thatVs already dead ,ou can hope that itVll come #ack alive, #ut hope only $ets you so "ar,Y he told me Y! $uess, !Vd much rather have you date &ae ,an$ than me or some random $uy, ri$ht no' Y &his 'as all too much to comprehend &his .2S that stupid, sel" sacri"icin$ #ullshit C.O5 9! ,O5<, .H, 2(E ,OD SO =DEB1 YEither 'ay you put it, it still sounds like you #roke up 'ith me "or &ae ,an$,Y ! said slo'ly, hopin$ that it 'ould $et throu$h 9i ,on$Vs thick head He si$hed a$ain, and sat on the ed$e o" the co""ee ta#le and nervously ru##ed his palms on his pants Y!tVs not ! think ! kne'FFkne' thatFFthat thin$s 'ere over, lon$ #e"ore &ae ,an$ started likin$ you But, ! 'anted to #e sel"ish,Y he lau$hed to himsel" a$ain Y! 'anted to #e sel"ish and keep you in this dead end relationship, #ecause at the time, all ! 'anted 'as you and ! didnVt care i" 'e 'ere on a #reak one day and to$ether the next .hy 'ould it matter1 2s lon$ as ! still had you and 'e 'erenVt o""icially done, thatVs all that ! 'anted Y ! 'asnVt lookin$ at him ! couldnVt

.hy are you so dum#1 ! stuck to starin$ at his #ri$ht yello' shoes 'ith a random en$ravin$ o" an En$lish 'ord that ! couldnVt reco$ni)e .hy are you so stupid1 &hey 'ere u$ly ! hated those shoes ! hated the yello' ! hated the random En$lish .hy are you so sel"ish1 YOne day, it ;ust hits you !t hits you so hard that you canVt #elieve ho' stupid youVve #een Ho' stupid and sel"ish and ,Y he stopped "or a moment to re$ain his composure Y,ou ;ust reali)e that itVs time to let $o ,ou canVt do it anymore & canVt do it, anymore !tVs ;ust over

9i ,on$ trailed o""? never "inishin$ his nonsense "illed sentence !t 'as as i" this 'as the "irst time he 'as hearin$ these 'ords, as i" he 'asnVt the one sayin$ it !t 'as as i" thin$s 'ere hittin$ him, all at once &his 'as ridiculous =id he really think thatFF'hoa, 'hoa, 'hoa He 'as $ettin$ up .as he leavin$1 2lready1 5o'1 .as he kiddin$ me1 &here are times 'hen you completely lose yoursel" in a moment 2ll coherent thou$hts "ly out o" the 'indo' .hat once 'as thou$ht o" as insane is no' sane .hatVs 'ron$ is ri$ht Opposites #ecome similar &he 'orld around you #ecomes a ha)e &he 'orld stops -or a "e' short seconds, you #ecome an entirely di""erent person? you let the moment envelope you 2s ! 'atched him 'alk a'ay, ! 'as torn #et'een stayin$ put and runnin$ to'ards him Stayin$ put 'ould have #een com"orta#le Com"orta#le 5ormal Settlin$ &his is 'hat you 'anted, Cim ,u (i ,ou 'anted to kno' the 'hat, 'hy and ho' ,ou $ot that ,ou should #e happy ,ou should "eel as i" an entire load has #een li"ted o"" your shoulders But, 'hy then, do you "eel as i" a heavier load has #een placed on you1 .hy is it so hard to "orm coherent thou$hts1 .hy 'as it so hard to see 'hatVs ri$ht and 'hatVs 'ron$1

! sa' the cupcake on the ta#le, and ! ;ust let the moment take over Be"ore ! kne' 'hat 'as happenin$, ! had stood up, $ra##ed the cupcake and "lun$ it at 9i ,on$Vs lime $reen coat !t 'as a compromise ! 'asnVt runnin$ a"ter him and at the same time, ! 'asnVt stayin$ motionless like last time !t 'orked 9i ,on$ stopped in his steps #e"ore he reached the doors He ;ust stopped Y=id you really think that you could ;ust come in and talk and talk and talk and leave as i" youVve done me a "avour1Y ! yelled out to him, 'alkin$ closer to him Y=id you really think that you could leave like the "irst time and not think that ! 'ould say anythin$, a$ain1Y He had his #ack to'ards me &he cupcake 'as still stuck to the #ack o" his ;acket, and i" 'e 'ere in any other situation, this 'ould have #een comical Y&hen, talk,Y he said simply He turned #ack around, not even #otherin$ to #rush the cupcake o"" His eyes 'ere dark His mouth 'as set in a $rim line &he only indication that he 'as a""ected #y this 'hole event 'as the sli$ht shakin$ o" his hands -or a moment, ! 'as taken #ack, not expectin$ this response &o #e honest, ! had expected him to i$nore me and 'alk out a$ain, ;ust like all the other previous times !t took a moment to "ind my 'ords Y-or someone 'ho says that they ended thin$s #ecause they 'anted to stop #ein$ sel"ish, 'ell,Y ! smiled #itterly, YyouVre #ein$ damn sel"ish Y 5o response He ;ust shoved his hands into his pockets, once a$ain Y,ou ;ust decided on your o'n that 'e had pro#lems that 'ere un"ixa#le1 ,ou did 'hat you al'ays didA ,ou ran a'ayA &his time, you tried to run a'ay "or $ood,Y ! said in a voice that ! really didnVt reco$ni)e YSure, letVs use your metaphors (elationships are plants Llants need to $ro' But you kno' 'hat1 !" you donVt take care o" them, then ho' is it supposed to $ro'1 !" you keep runnin$ a'ay and never 'ater the plant, ho' is it supposed to $ro'1Y ! "elt ridiculous usin$ these metaphors #ut it seemed like that 'ould #e the only 'ay that 9i ,on$ 'ould understand YEay#e youVre ri$ht,Y ! told him harshly YEay#e ! should ;ust leave you as the dead lea" #ecause ! $uess thatVs all youVll ever #e Y He had #een so calm since ! sa' him this mornin$ explainin$ ho' his coat 'asnVt made in a s'eat shop He 'as so calm So apathetic But, the second ! "inished my sentence, somethin$ inside him must have #roke ! sa' his eyes "lash and his "ists clench Y.H, is it that 'hen a $uy tries to do a $ood thin$,Y he said in an an$ry tone He #e$an to 'alk closer to me, to 'hich ! took a step #ack YHe ends up comin$ out as the #ad $uy1Y

Y! never saidFFY Y.hat i" he ;ust 'anted 'hat 'as #est "or not ;ust him, #ut her, too1Y He took t'o steps closer, ! took three steps #ack YHo' is endin$ thin$ on TalFFY Y!n "act, 'hat i" he Bust 'anted 'hat 'as #est "or her1Y he said in a so"ter voice 2nother step closer, another step #ack ! #it my lip &o keep mysel" "rom yellin$1 &o keep mysel" "rom cryin$1 .ho kno's Y!s that #ein$ sel"ish1 !s it1 .hat is the point in stayin$ in a relationship that $oes every'here and no'here at the same time1Y He didnVt take a step closer ! stood still Y!tVs like that messa$e ! sent you One day, you ;ust 'ake up and reali)e that you ;ustFFyouFF ;ust canVt do it, anymore ,ou think that endin$ thin$s 'ill make everythin$ #etter "or #oth you and her &hereVs no more con"usin$ thou$hts or he saidMshe said #usiness 5o matter ho' much you 'ant to stay, you kno' you canVt Y One step "or'ard &'o steps #ack Y&hat is still #ein$ sel"ish Y ! tried to tell him in my "irmest voice? to sho' that ! 'asnVt 'eak, pathetic, and stupid !t 'as hard thou$h Ey voice 'as unsteady Ey head 'as spinnin$ ! think he 'as "inally "ed up ! sa' him look do'n onto the "loor and heard him si$h loudly He then directed a "ierce $lare in my direction He #e$an to take 6uick steps to'ards me and ! had no choice to #ack up until ! 'as pressed up a$ainst the 'all Y=ammit, ,u (iA .hy canVt youFFthis isFFyouVre "rusFFY ! took a sharp intake o" #reath ! sa' him raise his le"t hand and "or a split second ! thou$ht it 'as $oin$ to hit me, #ut instead his hand collided 'ith the 'all, ri$ht #eside my head Hard YSo much,Y he added in a tense voice He closed his eyes, and tried to re$ain normal #reathin$ Everythin$ happened so 6uick Ey #ack 'as a$ainst the hard a6uamarine 'all, and he 'as hoverin$ #eside my nervous "orm, ;ust #arely touchin$ me He 'as so close &oo close His polyester $reen ;acket skimmed my #are arms ! could smell the lin$erin$s o" a ne' colo$ne He 'as ;ust too damn close

Everythin$ 'as 6uiet &he only sounds in the room 'as our harsh #reathin$ and the poundin$ o" our heart#eats ! hated ho' he could still make my heart triple its normal #eat ! hated ho' he could easily make me "or$et ho' to #reathe ! hated ho' ! couldnVt think ! hated that he still had this e""ect on me ! 'anted to say somethin$ 2nythin$ ! 'anted to look some'here, other than his #ri$ht ;acket But, ! 'as too scared &oo scared that the most simple sound and $lance could i$nite somethin$ Somethin$ that 'e #oth 'ould re$ret ! shut my eyes ti$htly ! 'ondered i" this 'as ;ust a #ad dream and that C'on 9i ,on$ 'asnVt standin$ centimeters a'ay "rom me ! 'ondered i" this 'as ;ust my mind playin$ tricks on me ! 'ondered i" this 'asnVt happenin$ ! opened my eyes a$ain, only to "ind 9i ,on$ starin$ at me His head 'as #ent do'n and he 'as so close ! "elt like ! 'as ca$ed He only had one hand #eside my head He 'asnVt touchin$ me, and yet, ! still "elt like ! 'as trapped His eyes 'ere lookin$ at me 'ith such intensity that it, honestly, scared me He had me pinned 'ith those damn eyes o" his and ! couldnVt move ! couldnVt look a'ay ! didnVt 'ant to look a'ay1 His eyes "lickered to'ards my lips and then #ack up to my 'ide and con"used eyes then they returned to my lips a$ain &he 'orld seemed to have disappeared around me &he moment 'as suckin$ me in ! 'as holdin$ my #reath He 'as leanin$ in ! parted my lips He 'as so close ! closed my eyes ! "elt his lips hoverin$ over mine? ;ust a si$h a'ay "rom meetin$ my o'n &hen a$ain then, the 'orld reappeared &hou$hts #e$an to "ill up my mind ! started to #reathe

Y.hy is this so easy "or you1Y ! slo'ly 'hispered ;ust 'hen he 'as a#out to place those so"t lips on mine He opened his eyes 'hen ! spoke and didnVt make to move a'ay "rom me He 'as one #reath a'ay "rom my lips and yet, he chose not to move -inally, he exhaled so"tly, and moved the "ive centimeters separatin$ our #odies One hand 'as still a$ainst the 'all, 'hile the other so"tly skimmed my arm and suddenly "ound its 'ay snaked around my 'aist? pullin$ me to'ards him !, almost almost, out o" pure ha#it, 'rapped my arms around his neck, #ut ! stopped mysel" ! let my arms han$ limply #y my sides, 'hile he held me in his em#race .hy 'as he doin$ this1 He moved his head, so that his chin rested on top o" my head &his 'as somethin$ he used to do 'hen 'e 'ere to$ether in the past He 'asnVt the tallest #oy, #ut he said that 'hen he 'as 'ith me, he "elt like a $iant ! should have pushed him a'ay the second the 'orld reappeared to me ! should have yelled and screamed at him "or havin$ the po'er to manipulate me, so easily ! should have done somethin$ But ! didnVt ! chose to stand there 'ith my hands han$in$ dead #y my sides 'hile he held me, so close, to his #ody 2 pathetic and stupid side o" me 'anted this moment &hat side o" me 'anted to relish this moment and pretend that thin$s 'ere okay? that 'e 'ere still to$ether? that the last t'o months hadnVt happened But, they did happen ! moved my hands "rom my side and li$htly placed them on his chest -or a moment, ! 'as tempted to ;ust $ive into his em#race, #ut instead, ! pushed him a'ay "rom me He didnVt stop me !n "act, he didnVt even look surprised His arm slipped a'ay "rom my 'aist? his hand 'as no lon$er #eside my head? the "amiliar 'armth disappeared? ! didnVt "eel trapped anymore He let $o, so easily &oo easily He turned his #ack to'ards me and exhaled heavily 2lthou$h, ! couldnVt see his "ace, ! kne' he had his eyes closed and 'as tryin$ to relearn ho' to #reathe properly Call me a horri#le person, #ut ! 'as $lad that ! still had that impact on him ! 'as $lad that ! 'asnVt the only one that 'as su""ocatin$ Y!tVs not like that,Y he said in so"t voice a"ter turnin$ #ack around ! had the ur$e to sco"" at him, #ut stopped mysel" &his 'as eIactly 'hat it 'as like Y! still loFF!FF#ut ! ;ust think itVs time that 'e let $o,Y he said calmly #ut ! heard a sli$ht crack in his voice !t almost seemed like he had to choke out the last part o" the sentence Y!Vm sorry Y

Ey eyes 'ere starin$ intently at the $round, #ut at the mention o" those last t'o 'ords, they 6uickly narro'ed and "lickered to'ards him !Vm sorry1 &'o simple 'ords that are used to "ix mistakes &'o simple 'ords that make everythin$ #etter &'o simple 'ords that 9ust t'o simple 'ords Y,ouVre sorry1 Sorry "or 'hat1Y ! lau$hed ! lau$hed 'ith such resentment that ! didnVt even reco$ni)e it "rom mysel" YSorry that you ;ust stopped carin$1 Sorry that you ran a'ay1 Sorry that you only cared a#out yoursel"1 ,ouVre sorry1 -ine, youVre sorryA .hat else1Y ! 'as done ! didnVt care He could #e as sorry as he 'anted, it didnVt matter to me He could leave, ri$ht no' and ! 'ouldnVt stop him He 'asnVt 'orth this He 'asnVt 'orth the last month o" insanity and #itterness Eay#e he "elt the same 'ay, #ecause he "inally $ave up &he 'ay he averted my $a)e? the 'ay he ran a hand throu$h his hair? the 'ay he 'as scu""in$ his shoes a$ainst the "loor !t all ;ust sho'ed that he had $iven up <iven up on him, on me and on us Y! hope you and &OL Y He didnVt even "inish the sentence .hether it 'as #ecause he couldnVt "ind the 'ords or he kne' exactly 'hat he 'anted to say #ut couldnVt "ind it 'ithin himsel" to voice them, ! 'asn%t sure Once a$ain, he opened his mouth to speak, #ut no sound came out He $ave me one last searchin$ look and turned a'ay to head to'ards the door "orrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry. &he 'ord echoed throu$hout my head in a never endin$ se6uence -ine &his time ! let him $o ! didnVt "lin$ a cupcake at him 5or did ! yell out in the typical drama moment that consisted o" Vka;imaV and $ettin$ on my knees ! didnVt do any o" that ! ;ust let him $o ! let him 'alk out, once and "or all ! sa' Seun$ (i 'alk in throu$h the door ! va$uely heard him mention somethin$ a#out pink "rostin$ and lime $reen coats, #ut in all honesty, ! 'asnVt listenin$ ! "elt like ! 'as relivin$ -e#ruary /Qth, all over a$ain 2 lon$ standin$ relationship had ended -inally ! had received closure He had apolo$i)ed He 'as $one "inally #roke me

!t 'as done -inally

Stutter: Lart /
9i ,on$%s Story

one
! hate my li"e ! hate my li"e ! hate my li"eeeeeeeeeeeeee ! looked over at the $irl #eside me and $ave an amused smile She 'as sittin$ in "ront o" my computer 'ith the "our properties o" hydropho#ic cells on the screen starin$ #ack at her, #ut she 'as doin$ everythin$ #ut concentratin$ on it She 'as, currently, spinnin$ around in circles on the chair 'ith a #inder in her lap, her head tilted up to'ards the ceilin$ and she 'as recitin$ a mantra o" ho' much she hated her li"e .hy did ! choose her as my la# partner, a$ain1 .hy do you hate your li"e1 ! asked tentatively as ! reached over "or the #iolo$y text#ook She continued t'irlin$ around in circles on the chair 'ith her eyes closed ! 'as a#out to repeat my 6uestion a$ain, #ut she spoke up Because ! could #e outside doin$ somethin$ 'ith my li"e #ut instead !%m inside doin$ an experiment on an e$$, she said simply and then opened the #inder to a middle pa$e and placed it on her "ace ! rolled my eyes and li"ted the #inder o"" o" her, to 'hich she $lared at me "or ,ou%re not $oin$ to have a li"e i" you don%t pass this la#, ! told her &ch (i$ht, #ecause ! am $oin$ to need to kno' i" 'ater $oes in the e$$ or out the e$$ to succeed in li"e, she said in a sarcastic tone, #ut sat up strai$ht any'ays .ell, i" you 'ant to succeed in li"e this year, you 'ill, ! said 'ith a #ri$ht smile and shoved the text#ook in her hands Dm, 'e need the scienti"ic de"inition o" hydrolysis She stuck her ton$ue out at me #ut #e$an "lippin$ throu$h the pa$es, any'ays So many de"initions, she murmured ! heard "rom &ae H'a that 'e need to memori)e every sin$le #olded 'ord in this #ook, and every other 'ord is #olded She pouted and continued to turn the pa$es .ho%s &ae H'a1 ! tried to ask in the most neutral tone ! could muster, #ut it didn%t exactly 'ork out that 'ay Ey voice sound a #it B hard, at the end Oh, he%s a year older than us He 'on that science "air competition, last year1 she said o""handedly, not even #otherin$ to look up "rom the #ook He%s at Seoul Dniversity ri$ht no', studyin$ preFmed

! sco'led 2nd B you still talk to him1 ! #e$an to reor$ani)e the notes in my #inder, even thou$h they already 'ere in the ri$ht order ,eah, every no' and then he calls me up and 'e meet up "or a co""ee and he tries to scare me a#out univRoh hey, ! "ound the de"inition, she cried out happily 'ith a please smile on her "ace 2t the si$ht o" her excited expression, my "ace so"tened 9ust "or a moment ! took the #ook "rom her, #ut ! didn%t look do'n at the de"inition, instead ! tried to push "urther So you and &ae H'a see each other re$ularly1 ,u (i shru$$ed and #e$an to spin around in the chair a$ain .ell, 'henever he%s not #usy studyin$, 'e ;ust $ra# co""ee, that%s a#out it She slouched "urther do'n on the chair and resumed her position o" starin$ at the ceilin$ and spinnin$ So, do you think it%s pro$ressin$ into somethin$ more than ;ust co""ee1 ! asked her .hat the hell 'as ! doin$1 Eore importantly, 'hat the hell 'as ! sayin$1 Lro$ressin$ into somethin$ more than ;ust co""ee1 &hat didn%t even make sense She placed a "oot do'n onto the $round to stop the spinnin$ and opened her eyes She titled her head to the side and re$arded me 'ith a con"used expression Eore than co""ee1 .hat does that mean1 ! don%t kno', either, Cim ,u (i ! don%t kno', either !%m usually $ood 'ith 'ords, !%m a rapper "or $od sake, #ut "or the past t'o 'eeks !%ve #een sayin$ ridiculous thin$s and comin$ up 'ith rhymes ! 'ouldn%t even sho' my o'n Dmma ! reali)ed that the room 'as very 6uiet and ,u (i 'as still $ivin$ me that con"used expression Dm, 'ell, ! don%t kno', ! #e$an to shu""le throu$h the #iolo$y notes 3ike, do you think you and &ae H'a mi$ht #ecome somethin$ more1 3ike $o out "or more than ;ust co""ee dates1 ! 'as soundin$ pathetic Ho' old 'as !1 ! 'as /I, #ut ! sure as hell 'asn%t actin$ like one She $rinned at me and continued to spin .hy1 .hat%s it to you1 ! stopped "id$etin$ around 'ith the paper and narro'ed my eyes at her ,ou kno', 9i ,on$, i" ! didn%t kno' #etter, she said 'ith her eyes closed 'hile spinnin$, it sounds like you%re ;ealous ! sco""ed loudly 2re you kiddin$ me1 Ee1 9ealous1 O" you and =ae .oo1 5ot even Hah, me and ;ealous don%t even $o in the same sentence Or phraseA C'on 9i ,on$ and the 'ord ;ealous shouldn%t even #e uttered to$etherA ! said 'ith a lau$h 3ookin$ #ack, ! don%t think ! 'as very convincin$ She opened her eyes and re$arded me 'ith an amused smile Okay, ;ust makin$ sure, she said, #ut a smirk suddenly appeared on her "ace ,ou%re 'elcome to come to our 'eddin$, 9i ,on$ .i"e o" Cho &ae H'a, E = !t has a nice rin$, doesn%t it1 ! don%t even kno' 'hy #ut once she "inished that sentence ! ;umped out o" my seat ,ahA Cim ,u (iA ! shouted and stood directly #eside her and placed my hand on the #ack rest that she 'as usin$ "or a head rest on the chair She looked up at me 'hile ! stood directly a#ove her

*hat 'as ! doin$1 Dm B !F!BthFthink B ! 'as a stutterin$ "ool She continued to look up at me 'ith those #i$ #ro'n eyes o" hers and her lips 'ere sli$htly parted ! !%m not #uyin$ you a $i"t "or your 'eddin$, ! said 6uickly and turned #ack around to sit at my normal chair Ey presence should #e enou$h o" a $i"t C'on 9i ,on$, you%re an idiot ! 'ent #ack to or$ani)in$ the already ordered notes 'hile she sat up strai$ht and placed the text#ook in her lap a$ain (i$ht, so, !%m $oin$ to $o to the 'ashroom, she said a"ter a moment o" silence ! nodded and she le"t ! let out a deep #reathe that ! had #een holdin$ in the second she le"t the room ! "elt like runnin$ my head strai$ht into the 'all Stupid &hat%s 'hat you are, C'on 9i ,on$ ! ;ust missed out on the per"ect chance to admit the nonF"eelin$s that ! clearly didn%t have "or her B Even my head 'as tryin$ to deny these B"eelin$sRis there another 'ord that isn%t so mushy1 R"or her1 But in all honesty, i" ! 'as smart, ! 'ould%ve said somethin$ suave or s'eet #ut rather, all ! did 'as stutter and $ive her my #lessin$ "or the 'eddin$ that she 'ould have "or the "uture =r =ae .ooRor 'hatever his name 'asRand hersel" <reat ;o#, 9i ,on$, $reat ;o# ! should%ve ;ust started strokin$ her hair and looked deep in her eyes and admit that ! liked her and ! 'ould%ve leaned in "or a kiss 'hat, 'ould have #een per"ect and a true drama moment B .hat1 ! have an older sister 'ho has "orced me to 'atch dramas, okay1 (i$ht ! 'ould do it &he second she returned, ! 'ould say, Cim ,u (i, ! like you Simple 2s i" on cue, ,u (i chose that exact moment to 'alk #ack into the room Hey 9i ,on$, ! think that 'e shouldR .aitA ! held up a hand to stop her "rom continuin$ on 'ith her sentence ! have somethin$ to say She closed her mouth and nodded Okay, sure, $o ahead She crossed her arms and looked expectantly at me ! think think B, ! looked to the #iolo$y text#ook sittin$ #eside me ! think that 'e should

come up 'ith a rhyme to help us prepare "or our #iolo$y test ,u (i raised an eye#ro' at me Dm yeah, like "or di""usion, ! 6uickly said and tried to think o" somethin$ that 'ould resem#le a rhyme, Hi$h to the lo', = to the -, 'e "lo' "rom a#ove, do'n to the do'n Oh, $od &hat must have #een the 'orst "ree stylin$ !%ve ever done in my li"e !t 'as a#out di""usion to #oot =!--DS!O5 She looked at me 'ith the same curious expression, #ut then she #roke out into a $rin ,ou kno', that%s not a #ad ideaA !%ve heard that i" you put thin$s to "amiliar #eats or melodies, you have a $reater chance o" remem#erin$ them <ood ;o#, 9i ,on$A she said happily and reached "or the text#ook Eay#e you can come up 'ith other random rhymes "or en)ymes and photosynthesis, too 2s she started to "lip throu$h the #ook "or more key 'ords, ! couldn%t help #ut si$h in relie" at her excitement over the rhymes 2t least she didn%t think ! 'as a total idiot Okay, may#e not today, #ut !%ll B man up and tell her my B feelings, one day 9ust not today FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF t'o D$h !" ! could kick mysel", ri$ht no', ! 'ould .orst "irst date in the history o" "irst dates Everythin$ 'ent 'ron$ ! couldn%t talk ! spilt soda all over her 'hite shirt She stepped on my shoes 2nd B ! called her my homely #a#y1 &HE HE33, C.O5 9! ,O5<1 ,ou don%t start your En$lish talk until at least a"ter the "i"th date 2lso, !%ve started to re"er to mysel" in the third person !" this isn%t insanity, ! don%t kno' 'hat is Cim ,u (i, 'hy are you turnin$ me into a certi"ied mental person1 ! had ;ust 'alked her to her apartment and like ! had $uessed, ! hadn%t received a $ood ni$ht kiss ! don%t #lame her !" ! 'as a $irl and someone like me had taken her out on a date, ! 'ould%ve ;ust smiled and i$nored him "or the rest o" my li"e Homely #a#y, 'hat the hell 'as ! thinkin$1 ! started to 'alk do'n the steps o" her apartment #uildin$ and tried to make the 'hole situation into some kind o" rap ! had to someho' turn this into somethin$ positiveA ! 'as on the second line 'hen ! heard someone call out my name ! turned around and sa' ,u (i runnin$ to'ards me Okay, ! told you that you shouldn%t have paid "or the movie and the "ood and ! really usually don%t letR ! didn%t even 'ait "or her to "inish her sentence .ho kno's 'hat it 'as Eay#e it 'as #ecause she actually ran #ack to "ind me Eay#e it 'as #ecause she 'as ;ust standin$ there Eay#e ! really have $one cra)y Or may#e she ;ust looked really $ood in that 'et shirt *SO((,, !%E

S&!33 2 <D,+, #ut ! ;ust took the step separatin$ us and kissed her ! kissed her until her surprised lips kissed #ack ! kissed her until she placed her arms around my neck ! kissed her until she si$hed a$ainst my lips and tried to #ecome even closer to me than she already 'as ! ;ust B kissed her 2ll thou$hts o" #ad "irst dates, En$lish 'ords, spilt soda, rhymesReverythin$ 'as ;ust thro'n aside and the only thin$ that mattered 'as that she 'as here, here 'ith me 9ust as thin$s 'ere $ettin$ a #it too heated *my hands had someho' "ound their 'ay underneath her shirt+, she pushed me a'ay .hat the hell, C'on 9i ,on$1 she mana$ed to #reathe out .hat1 ! shru$$ed and tried to reach out "or her a$ain #ut she side stepped me ,ou ;ust kissed meA ! #linked ,eah1 2nd you kissed me #ack ,u (i crossed her arms and seemed to #e in deep thou$ht !sn%t that 'hy you came #ack do'n here1 ! asked her and took a step closer to her 5oA She stepped #ack ! ;ust came #ack do'n to tell you that you "or$ot your chan$eA She rumma$ed throu$h her ;ean pockets and took out t'o #ills ! stared at the crumpled #ills "or a moment and reali)ation da'ned on me (i$ht ! had told her to $et the chan$e 'hile ! $ot the popcorn "or the movie So B ! had ;ust kissed her andB 'o', you are stupid, 9i ,on$ ,ou #etter pray "or a second date, #ut then a$ain, she did kiss you #ack, so that must mean thatR ,ahA 9i ,on$A she yelled out ! shook mysel" ! 'as $oin$ insane &he $irl !%ve #een cra)y over is standin$ ri$ht in "ront o" me in a 'et shirt and !%m havin$ a stupid ar$ument 'ith mysel" !s this 'hat schi)ophrenic people "eel like1 Because ! "eel like !%m losin$ my mind, ri$ht no' Oh, okay, thanks, ! said takin$ the #ills "rom her ! re$arded her 'ith a curious look and three 'ords kept echoin$ throu$h my head: SHE C!SSE= B2CC &hat had to mean somethin$ ri$ht1 O" course, it did ,ou don%t kiss someone unless you 'ant to .ell, unless you%re #ein$ "orced to #y $unpoint and ! de"initely did not have a $un on me So there"ore, she must have 'anted it, too 9i ,on$1 !" you%re ;ust $oin$ to stand there 'ith those 'eird expressions on your "ace, ! think !%m $oin$ to $oR 5oA .aitA ! suddenly exclaimed and 'alked closer to her Ey sudden steps to'ards her made her retreat #ack until her #ack 'as a$ainst the telephone #ooth that stood next to her apartment #uildin$ Her eyes shi"ted "rom the #ooth #ehind her and then to me Okay, so, this 'asn%t the #est "irst date in the 'orld, ! #e$an and placed a hand on the #ooth

'all #eside her head !t 'asn%t that #ad, she said ! $ave her a skeptical look She smiled Okay, it 'as pretty #ad So, do you think 'e could try B a second date1 ! asked s'eetly ! leaned in a #it and $ave her my #est impression o" sad puppy eyes She started $i$$lin$ =oes that really 'ork on $irls1 ! $asped out loud and placed my "ree hand over my heart ,ou think this is an act1 ,ou o""end me, $reatly She rolled her eyes at me ! don%t kno', this date 'as pretty #ad, ho' do ! kno' that the second date 'on%t $o ;ust as #ad1 ! shook my head at her So this date 'as #ad, #ut the endin$ 'as pretty $ood, ri$ht1 ! 'i$$led my eye#ro's at her su$$estively ! kne' she 'as tryin$ her hardest not to smile, and instead she tried to $ive me her #est $rim expression HahA ,ou kissed me out o" no 'here ,ou stole a kiss .hat1 ! didn%t see you pushin$ me a'ay and screamin$ #loody murder, ! ar$ued She stuck her #ottom lip out 'hich made it even harder "or me #ecause ! 'as ridiculously tempted to lean in and kiss her a$ain Still, you have to $ive a $irl some kind o" si$n #e"ore doin$ somethin$ like that &ch .hatever happened to the element o" surprise1 5ot on the "irst date a"terR Okay, ho' a#out this, ! leaned in even closer, !%m $oin$ to kiss you a$ain, Cim ,u (i !s that okay1 She opened her mouth and closed it a$ain &his se6uence happened a "e' more times and "inally she ;ust si$hed, $ave me a small smile and nodded (eallR .ait, 'hat the hell 'as ! doin$1 ! 'asn%t $oin$ to 6uestion her ans'er She nodded that meant she 'anted it &hat also meant she 'anted to kiss me 'hich also meant that she 'anted me 'hich meant thatRoh " uck it, ! need to stop thinkin$ ! $ave her a slo' smile and leaned in to kiss her, #ut she suddenly placed her hands on my chest B stoppin$ me ! raised an eye#ro' at her sudden chan$e o" #ehaviour So a#out this second date, do you actually think !t%ll $o #etter thanR

! lau$hed out loud, cuttin$ o"" her sentence ! settled my hands on her hips and leaned in so close that ! could see the small "lecks o" li$ht #ro'n in her eyes Stop thinkin$ so much, ! said 'ith a $rin and "inally kissed her

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

three
Shoppin$ "or $irls is a very di""icult thin$ ,ou have to over think thin$s 'hen #uyin$ "or them &here%s never one meanin$ to a $i"t 5ever &ake "or example this "ryin$ pan !" ! $ave this to &ae ,an$ "or a #irthday present, he%d #e happy He%d #e happy #ecause he en;oys cookin$ and a "ryin$ pan 'ould help him pursue his love "or culinary arts He 'ould say, &hanks, 9i ,on$A ! really like itA 5o', i" ! $ave this "ryin$ pan to a $irl, thin$s 'ould #e di""erent =o you kno' 'hat a $irl 'ould say1 She%d say, =o you think !%m "at1 ,ou%re $ivin$ me a "ryin$ pan #ecause you think ! love "ood that much1 ,ou think that a "ryin$ pan 'ould make me happy #ecause ! could make even more "ood and then ! 'ould $et even "atter1 !s that 'hy you $ave me a "ryin$ pan, huh1 ,ou think !%m o#eseA &he conversation 'ould end 'ith her thro'in$ the "ryin$ pan at me as ! tried to run out o" the house &his is 'hy ! hate shoppin$ "or $irls Our /PPth day anniversary 'as comin$ up, &he "act that this date 'as slo'ly approachin$ explained 'hy ! 'as at the mall 'ith Seun$ (i, o" all people, searchin$ "or a $i"t ! had su$$ested "lo'ers and chocolates #ut Seun$ (i had vetoed the idea He said that "lo'ers meant that ! didn%t care enou$h and had ;ust remem#ered our anniversary on the day o" and #ou$ht the "irst #ou6uet on the corner side'alk Chocolates meant that ! thou$ht she 'as "at Seun$ (i de"initely kno's $irls Ho' a#out a scar"1 ! su$$ested and held up a piece o" plaid material Seun$ (i 'rinkled his eye #ro's at the scar" =o you 'ant her to 'ear a picnic ta#le cloth1 ! held up the red and 'hite scar" to the li$ht He 'as ri$ht ! thre' the scar" #ack on the ta#le and continued 'alkin$ .e 'alked past the lin$erie section and ! slo'ed my steps to look at some o" the pieces on the manne6uins Seun$ (i noticed me lin$erin$ around and #asically #le' a "use .hat are you doin$1 ,ou shouldn%t even #e lookin$ in this sectionA &here%s nothin$ that%s $oin$ to interest noona here, he told me in an ea$er voice and tried to pull me a'ay "rom a #urles6ue styled manne6uin

! couldn%t help #ut lau$h at the ma$nae and stayed rooted in spot Ho' do you kno' she 'ouldn%t like any o", ! $estured the lacey corset, this stu""1 He hu""ed and crossed his arms !%m pretty sure ! 'ould kno' i" she 'ould like this stu"" ! raised an eye#ro' 2nd, ho' 'ould ,OD kno'1 ,ou%re not the #oy"riend He rolled his eyes at me O#viously, #ut ! 2E the #est "riend Best "riends don%t tell #est "riends ETE(,&H!5<, ! ar$ued 'ith a smirk .ell, &HESE #est "riends do, he said 'ith a satis"ied smile .ell, o#vR'ait, 'hat do you kno'1 ! suddenly asked Surely, ,u (i and Seun$ (i didn%t share everythin$ 'ith one another =id they1 !t 'as Seun$ (i%s turn to $ive me that arro$ant smirk Come onA 3et%s $o to the art section He #e$an to 6uickly 'alk a'ay "rom the #urles6ue costume inspired manne6uins .aitA ! ran to catch up to him .hat has she told you a#out me1 9ust B stu"", he said carelessly Stu"" like 'hat1 ! asked in an anxious voice ! 'as soundin$ pathetic But could you #lame me1 &here 'as a possi#ility that my $irl"riend%s #est "riend kne' somethin$ a#out me that he shouldn%t kno' Stu"", he repeated and suddenly turned le"t 'hich made me #ump into him Stu"" like 'hat1 ! asked a"ter pushin$ him to the side Stu"" like, ! like my ice cream 'ith -rench "ries stu""1 Or stu"" like ! liked to #e kissed on the collar #one stu""1 Seun$ (i suddenly stopped in his steps 'hich made me almost collide into him ! did not need to kno' that .hat1 So you didn%t kno' that1 ,ou said you kne' S&D--A ! said in a loud voice ! kno' ice cream 'ith -rench "ries stu"", not B 'here you liked to #e kissed stu""A &hat%s ;ust B $ross His shoulders shivered and he #e$an to 'alk to'ards the art section, a$ain =id ! ;ust admit that one o" my hot spots 'as myRoh dear <od &o him o" all people &his 'as a $reat day 9ust $reat ! ran up to catch up 'ith him and 'e stood in "ront o" the massive collection o" markers, pencils and other various art supplies ! looked do'n and noticed a set o" 04 markers speci"ically made "or man$a dra'in$ and #ent do'n to pick it up Ho' a#out these1 ! asked She%s ma;orin$ in visual arts and 'ants to #ecome a man$aka and her markers are dead ,u (i still hadn%t "or$iven me "or 'astin$ all the ink in her man$a markers !t 'asn%t my "ault that Seun$ (i 'as #ein$ a pompous ass that day and decided to take a nap 'hen he kne' ! 'as "ully a'ake and had access to ,u (i%s markers He didn%t "ind the patterns on his "ace as

amusin$ as ! did 'hen he 'oke up Clearly, ,u (i didn%t either #ecause she re"used to talk to me "or three days 2ctually, that%s not a #ad idea, Seun$ (i said a"ter eyein$ the markers in my hands ! smiled to mysel", clearly pleased 'ith the choice ! had made 2s 'e made our 'ay to the cash re$ister, ! couldn%t help #ut ask, ,ou%re not $oin$ to tell anyone that one o" my hot spots is my collar #one, ri$ht1 Seun$ (i turned to'ards me and $ave me an in6uirin$ look Hot spots1 ,ou use the 'ord hot spots1 ! sco'led at him .hy did ! al'ays "eel like an idiot 'hen he 'as around1 Seriously, you%re not R Oh my $od, relaIA he "inally said, !%m not $oin$ to spread the 'ord that you have a "etish 'ith collar #ones ! si$hed in relie" 'hen ! heard him say those reassurin$ 'ords Okay, thanks #ecause !R'ait, ! never said ! had a "etishA ! ;ust like #ein$ kisR &he youn$er #oy suddenly held up a hand to stop me 9ust B ;ust stop talkin$, ! don%t need to kno' a#out this He shook his head as i" he 'as tryin$ to shake out the memory o" this conversation ! shru$$ed a$ain and decided to let the conversation $o ! had a "eelin$ that i" ! continued talkin$, !%d #e revealin$ a lot more thin$s that 'ere de"initely not @! like -rench "ries 'ith my ice cream% stu"" Seun$ (i looked over at me and to'ards the market set in my hands a$ain ! $uess you%re not totally stupid, he said 'ith an approvin$ nod and 'alked ahead o" me &hanks, ! said happily, #ut t'o seconds later ! cau$ht on to 'hat he said ,ahA <et #ack hereA &hink you can disrespectRyahA Come #ackA ,ou think #oy"riends and $irl"riends don%t tell each other everythin$1 ! kno' stuff a#out you, tooA

Chapter &'elve
!tVs "unny ho' in movies a"ter a li"e chan$in$ *okay, not life changing in my case #ecause a #reak up 'ith a #oy doesnVt really count+ event, the prota$onist $oes throu$h a lon$ period o" depression and attempts to "ind themselves throu$h various sorts o" activities and meetin$s 'ith stran$e people &hen, in the end, theyVre supposed to 'alk do'n this lon$ and empty road 'ith the sunset in the #ack$round ! $uess this is a metaphor that the prota$onist has "ound closure and is no' a#le to move on 'ith his li"e and to start ne' #e$innin$s &he credits then roll =onVt you 'ish li"e 'as a movie1 ! "eel like !Vve already $one throu$h all o" the a#ove, before the li"e chan$in$ event Okay, Yli"e

chan$in$Y event ! really shouldnVt #e thinkin$ so much o" my li"e that a simple #reak up could alter my entire 'ay o" livin$ 2ctually, ! did #ake 0PP cupcakes, visit support $roups and made a "ool o" mysel" too many times to count, soFF! di$ress, letVs move on 2"ter 9i ,on$Vs "inal appearance at my apartment, ! did "eel closure, #ut ! didnVt "eel the need to $o throu$h the ;ourney that movies make the lead characters $o throu$h #ecause !Vve already $one throu$h it all .hen 9i ,on$ ended thin$s in that tiny alley 'ay on TalentineVs =ay, there 'as no closure !" anythin$, it ;ust $ave 'ay to more 6uestions and con"usion -rom that moment on, ! 'ent throu$h the Bourney &hen on the mornin$ 'hen 9i ,on$ stood in my livin$ room 'ith his lime $reen *! donVt care 'hat Seun$ (i says, itVs lime $reen+ ;acket and "inally $ave me closure and le"t 'ithout a second $lance #ack, thatVs 'hen it ended !" my li"e 'as a movie, then 'e 'ouldVve cut to the sunset scene 'ith me 'alkin$ into the unkno'n, completely skippin$ the ;ourney part !" you think o" it in movie terms, 'here ! currently am in li"e 'ould #e the part 'hen the credits roll .hat happens to the lead character a"ter theyVve $one throu$h the ;ourney and met those stran$e people and completed the cra)y tasks1 Ey li"e really 'ould #e an out o" se6uence movie, ! kno' So instead o" stayin$ at home and pi$$in$ out on my $reen tea ice cream, ! 'as 'alkin$ do'n the #usy streets o" Seoul to a yo$a class OC2,, ! C25 HE2( ,OD 233 32D<H!5< But dammit, Seun$ (i said it 'ould help me clear my mind1 &hat and ! had a "ree coupon "or a yo$a class that 'as coincidentally next to my "avourite ice cream shop 'hich ! also had a "ree coupon "or Shoot me, ! love "ree stu"" ! still "ound it "unny that a $ym and ice cream shop are nei$h#ours !tVs a #it harsh, donVt you think1 Say you $o to the ice cream shop and have the $reatest three scoops o" $reen tea ice cream in your li"e and you come out all happy and "ul"illed, then you 'alk past the $ym 'here ten stick thin aero#icF 'anna#e $irls 'alk past you Harsh, indeed !tVs a hu$e psycholo$ical thin$ !" ! 'as smart, !Vd pro#a#ly #e studyin$ "or my midterm, #ut clearly, Cim ,u (i isnVt very smart But, !Vm sure that ! can memori)e all /4K important dates to the history o" man$a in one ni$ht Ho' hard can that #e1 2nd this, ladies and $entleman, is 'hat 'e call #ein$ delusional &he only do'n side 'as that this ice cream shop and yo$a class 'ere so damn "ar !t 'as a#out a street a'ay "rom the ne' ca"e that ! had dra$$ed Seun$ (i to $o 'ith me to t'o 'eeks a$o &he inner cheapskate in me told me that the three #us trans"ers 'ere 'orth it i" it meant ! could $et "ree stu"" out o" it ! donVt think it 'as a $ood idea to dress in my Yyo$aY clothes ! 'as 'earin$ these random ti$hts that Seun$ (i $ave me "or a V;ust #ecauseV $i"t and he said that it 'as the latest "ashion ra$e ! donVt think heVll ever $ive up on tryin$ to turn me "rom a ho#o into a "ashionista O#viously, ! never 'ore these ti$hts, ;ust like the random lin$erie set he #ou$ht "or me that he thou$ht 'ould come into so much use Since today 'as my "irst time 'orkin$ out, 'illin$ly, in my 4P years o" existenceFFletVs ;ust keep that a secret #et'een you and !FF! had no idea 'hat to 'ear "or yo$a clothes .hat the hell are yo$a clothes, any'ays1 Some rich corporate "itness sham to make $irls spend more money on cute s'eat pants1 ! donVt kno', #ut since !Vm poor and 6uite sure that ! 'ould never come to this yo$a place a$ain *one coupon per customer+, ! 'asnVt $oin$ to

#e spendin$ hundreds o" dollars on sparkly pink ti$ht s'eat pants ! thou$ht 'earin$ these ti$hts 'ould su""ice, #ut clearly not, #ecause ! 'as "ree)in$ my "lat #um o"" .hen the sno' #e$an to "all, and the 'ind #ecame harsher, ! started to 'alk as "ast as my short, stu##y le$s could allo' ! kne' ! shouldVve #ou$ht my u$ly red hat, even thou$h it ;ust adds on to my ho#o look 2nd ! de"initely should not have 'orn these stupid ti$hts 3ee Seun$ (i needs a crash course in $i"t $ivin$ /P/ <ive me "ood, a set o" #allpoint pens *! have a tendency to lose every sin$le pen that comes into my possession+, a prettier hat FF #asically, anythin$ that isnVt ti$ht, #ri$ht and u$ly &he sno' 'as comin$ do'n harder, and ! 'ondered i" ! should start #ein$ smart and seek shelter in a shop Ey le$s 'ere also "ree)in$ and ! 'as $ettin$ a lot o" stran$e looks "rom U year old children 'alkin$ past me Eay#e this is ho' Seun$ (i "eels every day 'hen he 'alks out o" his home 'ith 'hatever monstrosity o" an out"it he chooses to 'ear (eally, ! donVt kno' 'hat ! 'as thinkin$ 'hen ! decided to 'ear these ti$hts ! #lame it on my la)iness, ! didnVt 'ant to chan$e into and out o" these ti$hts at the yo$a place #ecause there $oes /P minutes o" my precious li"e !Vm $oin$ to pay "or this la)iness one day, pro#a#ly today #ecause my le$s 'ere startin$ to lose "eelin$ Eay#e ! should have stayed home and actually listen to the 'eather man and his 'arnin$s o" a serious sno' storm1 &hen a$ain, the 'eather man lies UKJ o" the time, and 'ho kne' that today 'ould #e the 4KJ chance that he 'as tellin$ the truth1 Oh, and today 'as the last day ! could use my "ree yo$a and ice cream coupon !Vm cheap, okay1 !tVs practically 'ritten in my =52 .hen ! reali)ed that the sno' 'as comin$ do'n at such a rate that it had already covered my #oots in a matter o" 4 minutes, ! "i$ured it 'as time to "ind a #uildin$FFpre"era#ly heated and served "oodFFto hide in ! actually think my li"e should #e made into a movie, #ecause 'hen ! looked #eside me to see the #uildin$, it 'as the ca"e ,es, the ca"e "rom t'o 'eeks a$o that ! had dra$$ed Seun$ (i to and hid "rom a psychotic Hee 9in Coincidence1 Or "ate ;ust hates me1 ! really 'asnVt expectin$ to see anyone ! kne' inside #ecause 'hoVs $oin$ to $o completely out o" their 'ay to visit this ca"e durin$ a sno' storm1 So you can expect ho' utterly surprised ! 'as to see a "amiliar "ace in the corner o" this co""ee shop 'hile ! 'as dustin$ o"" the sno' on my clothes 'hen ! entered the #uildin$ Can$ =ae Sun$ ! $uess ! should #e thank"ul 2t least itVs not a scary ten year old, 'hacked "ashionFsensed exF #oy"riend, con"used exF#oy"riendVs #est "riend, tall and intense eyed "ree loadFF! am avoidin$ a lot o" people, arenVt !1 !t 'ouldVve #een really smart to have ;ust stayed at home =amn you, "ree coupons 2s ! made my 'ays to'ards the corner, ! noticed that he 'as readin$ a #ook called V&he .orld is ,oursV 2ctually, readin$ mi$ht #e an understatement &he #ook 'as a mere ten centimeters a'ay "rom his "ace, his eye #ro's 'ere scrunched and he ;ust seemed very entralled #y it .hat kind o" #ook 'ould allo' this much concentration "rom him1 &he last time ! 'as this into a #ook 'as Harry Lotter and sadly, since the series ended, ! havenVt picked up a #ook 'illin$ly Y=ae Sun$1Y ! said tentatively 'hen ! reached his ta#le He looked normal &he last time !

had seen him 'as 'hen he 'as 'alkin$ do'n the street 'ith a ;i$ in his step, #ut then a$ain he had ;ust come out o" a support $roup meetin$ and 'as hi$h on ca""eine He 'asnVt #o##in$ his head all over the place or murmurin$ anythin$ ridiculous 25= there 'asnVt anythin$ ca""einated in "ront o" him &hese must all point to $ood thin$s ! hope He looked up "rom his #ook and $ave me a toothy smile 'hen he sa' me YOh, hiAY he said happily, and pulled out a chair "or me 2 little #it too happy .here has my poor, little, sad =ae Sun$ $one1 ! took the seat, cautiously, the espresso hi$h =ae Sun$ still clear in my head &here mi$ht not #e any espresso in si$ht, #ut that doesnVt mean he could have had some #e"ore ! came here Y2re you okay1Y He nodded at me ea$erly, and set the #ook do'n YO" course, ! amA .hy 'ouldnVt !1 &he sun is shinin$, the #irds are sin$in$, co""ee is still #ein$ imported to Corea despite all those trade rumours on the ne's, 'hy 'ouldnVt ! #e okay1Y ! stared #lankly at him Y=ae Sun$Fah, are you hi$h1Y YOn in"luential chemical im#alances, no On li"e1 ,ES Hi$h on li"e and all the 'onder"ul thin$s it has to o""er to me,Y he said #ree)ily Okay 'hat1

5oticin$ my con"used expression, =ae Sun$ picked up the #ook and tapped the title 'ith his "in$er Y&his #ook has chan$ed my li"eAY He handed it over to me so that ! could inspect it YV&he .orld is ,oursV,Y ! said to mysel" and #e$an to "lip throu$h the pa$es YBasically, the 'orld is ours Y ! looked up at him 'ith a Vno, duh, and Cim ,u (i is cheap and thereVs a massive sno' storm outside, 'hat else is ne'1V look Y5o, no,Y he 'aved his hands at me 'hen he reali)ed my reaction, Ythe 'orld, literally, is ours Y YDm Y

Y(i$ht, ! "or$ot you could #e a #it dense, sometimes,Y he murmured YHey, ! resent thatA ! $ive some prime advice, you kno'AY Cim ,u (i ;ust isnVt appreciated enou$h in this 'orld He $ave me a pointed look #ut continued, any'ays YBasically, 'e live the 'orld #y the la' o" attraction Y ! raised an eye#ro' at him Y!" you keep thinkin$ ne$ative thou$hts, then ne$ative thin$s 'ill come into your li"e,Y he clasped his hands to$ether YBut i" you think positive thou$hts, then positive thin$s 'ill come into your li"e Basically, everythin$ that 'e have in li"e, 'e have attracted, 'hether it #e $ood or #ad Y

=ae Sun$

are you sure you havenVt overdosed on espresso1

YSeriouslyAY he cried out and placed his hands on my shoulder Y&hatVs why my relationships have al'ays #een "ailuresA ! al'ays think the 'orst o" thin$s, so o#viously my relationships 'ere doomed "rom the #e$innin$ Y ! placed my hands on top o" =ae Sun$Vs and placed them #ack on the ta#le and $ave him a sympathetic look Y =o you 'ant me to 'alk you home1 Or may#e, you 'ant to $o to the yo$a class 'ith me or $et ice cream1Y He shook his head at me and lau$hed Y!Vm serious, ,u (iA 2ll those pessimistic "re6uencies ! kept sendin$ out to the universe, 'ell, the universe responded 'ith more ne$ativity So, ! need to think optimistically so that the universe 'ill reply and $ive me $ood thin$s Y Y! hope you kno' you sound really insane, ri$ht no',Y ! stated #luntly He shru$$ed YBut itVs all trueA ,ou ask the universe, and the universe shall respond Y Okay, seriously, no' .as =ae Sun$ kidnapped in the dead o" ni$ht and #rain'ashed #y some cult that 'ore #lack ro#es, last ni$ht1 Y!t doesnVt even matter ho' a#surd the 6uestion isA ,ouVll $et a response,Y he said ea$erly YSo, #ecause o" this #ook,Y ! held up V&he .orld is ,oursV and shook it in "ront o" me, Yyou have #ecome this cheer"ul and optimistic person in a span o" a "e' 'eeks1Y He tapped a "in$er on his temple and looked at me thou$ht"ully Y.ell, yeah, ! $uess, and o" course, Son$ 9i HeeAY YBasically,Y ! #e$an, 'antin$ to make sense o" =ae Sun$Vs epiphany, Y! send out positive vi#es or thou$hts into the universe and the universe 'ill respond 'ith $ood thin$s, as 'ell1 So i" ! really 'anted to marry a mem#er o" Bi$ Ban$, it could happen1 ! ;ust have to think positive and #elieve that it 'ill happen, and then one day, ! could #e the si$ni"icant other to one o" them1Y =ae Sun$ seemed to hesitate "or a moment, #ut he nodded Y,eah, pretty muchAY ! scooted a #it closer to him and patted him on the #ack YLoor, naive, =ae Sun$, 'hat have they done to you1Y He shru$$ed me o"" o" him and re$arded me 'ith a suspicious look Y!Vm not cra)yA 2nd 'ho are they1Y Y&he people 'ho o#viously kidnapped you in the dead o" ni$ht and made you #elieve all these ridiculous thin$s1 .hat did they do1 Strap you into a chair and "orce you to 'atch hours o" #rain'ashin$ movies1 =id they #ri#e you 'ith cupcakes1 =id they threaten you 'ith your li"e i" you donVt spread this ridiculous notion1Y ! sounded a #it hysterical, #ut i" there 'ere people like this out in the 'orld, they had to #e stopped Y! 'asnVt #rain'ashed and ! de"initely 'as not kidnapped in the dead o" ni$ht,Y he told me slo'ly and calmly

! 'asnVt entirely convinced, #ut ! $uess ! could play alon$ "or a #it YSo, 'hat is it that you 'ant the most1Y He clasped his hand to$ether and smiled so"tly Y2 ne' start ! donVt 'ant to #e this #roodin$ nineteen year old 'hoVs searchin$ "or his princess, anymore !Vm youn$, dammitA ! 'ant to play the "ieldAY he said in an overly excited voice 2$ain, ! 'as skeptical #ecause this is Can$ =ae Sun$ 'eVre talkin$ a#out &he #oy 'ho #e$an his sle' o" epic "ailed relationships at the a$e o" six ,ou really canVt chan$e your values and #elie"s in a span o" a "e' short 'eeks Y! "ind it very hard to #elieve that you 'ant to play the "ield #ecause itVs you ,ou need to #e in a romantic relationship to live1Y ! tried to say this in my most carin$ and sympathetic voice YBut, i" itVs true, all the po'er to you Y ! pumped my "ist into the air to sho' my support ! $uess ! should try to #e supportive1 SemiFsupportive1 ! like happy =ae Sun$ a lot #etter than V'oe is me, my love li"e sucks, excuse me 'hile ! $o to the corner and cut my 'ristsV =ae Sun$ He nodded at me Y! really ;ust 'ant to date as many $irls 'ithout any emotional attachment, 'hatsoever andFFY Y.ell, you should have some "eelin$s "or them,Y ! su$$ested, Y#ut, really1 ! $uess ! should #e happy "or you ! mean, you look happier and youVre readin$ an actual #ook 'hich is more thanFFY YHi,Y a cheer"ul voice interrupted her conversation ! t'isted my #ody around to "ind a pretty 'aitress dressed up in the usual ca"e $ear *'hite #utton up and a #lack #o'tie+ standin$ there 'ith a smile on her "ace and a pen and pad ready to $o Y2re you ready to order1Y =ae Sun$ returned the smile and nodded at her Y!Vd like a 'hite mocha 'ith no 'hip cream, no su$ar, no cream, and a dash o" a deep and meanin$"ul relationship, please1Y =ae Sun$ said #ri$htly as he "olded up his menu and handed it out to the 'aitress, #ut he 6uickly 'idened his eyes and shook the menu "rom side to side YDm, noFF! meanFFnot a relationshipFFlikeFFa hot one ni$ht standFFum, no ! meantFF itVs not like !Vm that desperate "or oneFFyou kno', 'ellFFaishAY Y.ell, that 'as a -reudian slip i" !Vve ever seen one,Y ! said 'ryly Y! thou$ht you 'ere ready "or a #rand ne' start1Y =ae Sun$ spread the menu open a$ain, and #e$an hittin$ himsel" 'ith it Y! thou$ht so, too Y ! shook my head at him in pity and pried the menu a'ay "rom him #e"ore he really hurt himsel" !tVs possi#le to $et a paper cut on your "orehead, you kno' !Vve never experienced one #e"ore nor have ! ever met anyone 'ho has, #ut since the menus 'ere really "limsy and 'erenVt laminated *'ho doesn?t laminate their menu, or at least put it in a nice little #ooklet1+, =ae Sun$ mi$ht #e the "irst person ! kno' to experience one Y2ishA =ae Sun$A .e didnVt $o to that support $roup and made total "ools out o" ourselves "or nothin$AY ! chastised him and #e$an 'i$$lin$ my "in$er at him as i" ! 'as an umma tellin$ her son to do home'ork YEan upA Start callin$ random $irls and $o out 'ith them and play them and toss them or somethin$AY 2nd ! call mysel" a "eminist1 Hey, ! $o to lo' places 'hen ! try to console a "riend Llus, isnVt this 'hat $uys say to other $uys 'hen theyVre "eelin$ upset1 =onVt they say, Y-or$et that hoe, and "ind a ne' $irl thatVs even hotter, manAY (i$ht1 Boys are so

complicated &hey should ;ust stu"" their "aces 'ith cupcakes and talk a#out their "eelin$s 'ith their #est "riends, and voilaA Lro#lem solved He $ave me a skeptical look YSome'here in the 'orld, the $reatF$reat $randau$hter o" the person 'ho "ou$ht "or 'omenVs ri$hts is cryin$ Y ! rolled my eyes at him Y=ae Sun$, you are nineteenA ,ou donVt need a $reat and epic love a""airA <o out and hit on the hottest $irl on the street and ;ust $o out 'ith her Y Oh, yeah, ! think !Vm $ettin$ this 'hole $uy thin$ do'n, donVt you think1 Even thou$h !Vm sacri"icin$ my o'n di$nity Oh, the thin$s ! do "or #ein$ a $ood "riend He 'as so close, so close to #ecomin$ normal YBut even a"ter all that, ! think ! still 'ant an epic love a""air1Y he said in a 6uiet voice 'hile care"ully playin$ 'ith the ;ars o" su$ar in "ront o" him Y&hat #ook said that ! should al'ays #e askin$ the universe "or the one thin$ that ! 'ant most in li"e Eay#e, an epic love relationship is 'hat ! really 'ant in li"e, and the universe kne' and thatVs 'hy it made me do that -reudian slipAY ! tilted my head at him and ;ust $ave him my most con"used expression ! think this is ho' people "eel 'hen they talk to me YCan$ =ae Sun$A ,our #ook is a lie ,ou need to actually play the "ieldA Start seein$ di""erentFFY Y2ctually, ! think itVs re"reshin$ that a #oy wants a meanin$"ul relationship Y =ae Sun$ and ! turned around to see the "or$ottenFFand very prettyFF'aitress standin$ #ehind us 'ith a small smile on her "ace Y,ouFFyou do1Y he asked timidly She nodded and #e$an to t'irl the pen in one hand YDsually itVs the $irl thatVs lookin$ "or the romantic love a""air, and the #oy is al'ays the one that tries to cut loose and run Y YExactlyAY =ae Sun$ hit his "ist a$ainst the ta#le top due to a moment o" excitement in "indin$ someone 'ho shared his vie's ! looked to =ae Sun$Vs excited "ace and then #ack to the 'aitressV "riendly one and then #ack to him once a$ain =id ! ;ust step into some stran$e t'ili$ht )one1 One second he 'as all "or #ecomin$ a complete man'hore and 'antin$ to date $irls 'ith no emotional attachments &hen he thro's a'ay his #rain'ashed teachin$s "rom his #ook 'ith one -reudian slip and no', heVs "ound a $irl that shares his point o" vie' Oh, 'hat a cra)y 'orld ! live in Y,eah, okay, !Vll call youAY =ae Sun$Vs cheer"ul voice suddenly #rou$ht me out o" my thou$hts and #ack to reality (eality 'as currently sho'in$ me =ae Sun$ 'avin$ at the 'aitress as she 'inked and 'alked a'ay He 'as also holdin$ a napkin 'ith scri##les on it and he 'as no' lookin$ at it as i" it held the meanin$ o" li"e YShe $ave you her num#er1Y ! asked in dis#elie" 'hen ! leaned over and reali)ed that the scri##les 'ere actually num#ers ! looked #ack up at him 'ith the same surprised expression YHo'1 .hat1 2nd she didnVt even take my order1Y Stupid 'aitress 9ust #ecause you see a

cute $uy that doesnVt mean you can i$nore the $irl sittin$ next to him and not let her order her daily intake o" ca""eine He shru$$ed in response, #ut he couldnVt hide the hu$e smile on his "ace YEay#e sheVs the oneAY Oh, dear =ae Sun$, 'erenVt thin$s supposed to #e di""erent this time1 2s i" he had read my mind, he 6uickly responded 'ith, YOh, no, noA !Vm not $oin$ to $o into this relationship thinkin$ that sheVs $oin$ to #ecome a les#ian or think that sheVll end up hatin$ me, noA !Vm $oin$ to $o into this a""air 'ith a positive mind set Y He nodded his head several times at me "or a""irmation Y,ou kno' that sheVs only $iven you her num#er, ri$ht1 ,ou havenVt even $otten to the relationship sta$e, yet ,ou havenVt even $otten to the date sta$e or callin$ her sta$e, yet,Y ! told him, $ently YLlus, you chan$e your mind really 6uickly &'o minutes a$o you 'ere all, V! 'anna $et 'ith every $irl in si$ht and #an$ VemV, and no' youVre ;ust, VsheVs the O5EV,Y He #linked YDm, ! kno' you #roke up 'ith your rapper #oy"riend a'hile a$o, #ut ! still think that he mi$ht have a #it o" an e""ect on you, still Y !t 'as my turn to stare at him 'ith a con"used look =id he not ;ust say thatFFoh damn =id ! really ;ust repeat some random 9i ,on$Fes6ue rhyme1 5o, really1 !t sounded so much #etter in my head than out loud =ae Sun$ looked a #it uncom"orta#le 'hen ! "inally decided to let $o o" my inner dilemma ! couldnVt #lame him Ey expression 'as silently chan$in$ every three seconds and ! 'ould let out a random si$h or $roan He should #e used to my antics #y no' !n "act, he should #e em#racin$ my oddness, and not slo'ly movin$ his chair a'ay "rom me like he 'as no' Y2re you okay1Y he asked a"ter movin$ a $ood 7P centimeters a'ay "rom me YHave you even talked to any#ody since your #reak up1Y ,ou kno' itVs #ad 'hen Can$ =ae Sun$ is the one thatVs o""erin$ you pity ! si$hed heavily YO" course ! have, Seun$ (i is al'aysFFhold on, ho' do you kno' a#out my #reak up1 ! havenVt seen you since you danced do'n the street to V9ump "or Ey 3oveV Y =ae Sun$ drummed his "in$ers a$ainst the ta#le top, o#viously si"tin$ throu$h his memories "or the event YOh, ri$htAY he cried out in sudden reali)ation Y,eah, that de"initely 'asnVt a $ood ni$ht ! ended up meetin$ a really, big $uy, and he didnVt exactly appreciate my theatrical rendition o" the Lointer SistersV dance <ood thin$ ! took track in hi$h school Y ! $rinned Can$ =ae Sun$ and ca""eine is a deadly com#ination YBut, that doesnVt explain ho' you kno' a#out my #reak up,Y ! asked once a$ain Y! think your "riend &OL ended up tellin$ me1Y ! 'as taken #ack Y.hat1 ,ou and &OL talk to one another1 But the last time you talked, you $ave each other horri#le "irst impressionsA ,ou $uys take "irst impressions very seriously Y

He 'aved a hand to dismiss the comment YOh, yeah, #y$ones are #y$ones,Y he insisted YHeVs takin$ a pottery class 'ith me Y Lottery1 Choi Seun$ Hyun takin$ a pottery class1 Excuse me 'hile ! $o to the #ack and lau$h mysel" to death &hat didnVt even seem like somethin$ he 'ould #e interested in, may#e Seun$ (i, #ut de"initely not him Y,eah, it really didnVt look like he 'as there 'illin$ly, thou$h,Y =ae Sun$, YHe 'as 'ith another $uy He 'as 'earin$ this really random out"it ! donVt kno' anyone that 'ould pair up skinny ;eans 'ith an ar$yle ;acket andFFY YOh, my $od Y ! placed my palms on top o" the 'ooden ta#le Even #e"ore ! 'as a#le to comprehend that Seun$ Hyun and Seun$ (i 'ere at a pottery makin$ class to$ether, said people 'alked into the small co""ee shop !t 'as a $ood thin$ that 'e 'ere tucked a'ay in a corner, #ecause 'hen Seun$ (i s'ept his eyes across the ca"e, he completely missed us Y,u (i1Y He 'aved a hand in "ront o" my "ace Y.hatVs $oin$ on1 =o youFFY ! $ra##ed his hand and placed it onto the ta#le, none too $ently to 'hich he $ave a small cry ! placed my index "in$er a$ainst my lips and silently shushed =ae Sun$ !nstead o" o#eyin$ my silent 'ish, he "ollo'ed my $a)e and $asped out loud Y.o', itVs themA .hat a stran$e coincidenceA .e 'ere ;ust talkin$ a#outFFY Y=ae Sun$, shushAY ! $ently slapped him on the shoulder ! really didnVt 'ant to see either o" them today Seun$ (i has #een a really $ood don$saen$ ever since that "ate"ul day in the apartment, #ut heVs #een actin$ like my second shado' ! kno', ! kno' ! really should appreciate him, #ut itVd #e nice to #e a#le to #reathe on my o'n and not #e asked ho' ! 'as doin$ every three minutes !t 'as only yesterday that he "inally decided to $o home and leave me #e on my o'n YDrm, ! really should $o,Y =ae Sun$ suddenly said "rom #eside me Y,ou can have my 'hite mocha 'ith no 'hipped cream, su$ar, creaFFY he stopped himsel" and scratched his head Y.hat1 .hat the hell did ! order Y ! sa' him shru$ and slo'ly $et up "rom his seat, #ut ! 6uickly pulled him do'n Y5o, you canVt leave, yet,Y ! 'hispered Y!" they see you, then theyVll ask 'hat youVre doin$ here, and since you canVt lie 'orth crap, youVre $oin$ to tell them that youVre here 'ith me, and then theyVll see me, and Seun$ (i 'ill try and set me up on a date 'ith Seun$ Hyun "or the one hundredth and ei$hty seventh time Y YEmmFhmm,Y =ae Sun$ said a"ter a short silence He placed a hand on my shoulder and li$htly s6uee)ed it YClearly, you over think thin$s and ! need to $et a'ay "rom you #ecause !Vm at a $ood place in li"e, and ! donVt think han$in$ around 'ith you is $oin$ to help me stay in the $ood place So, !Vm ;ust $oin$ to,Y he took his hand o"" my shoulder and pointed to'ards the #ack exit, Y$o throu$h there and you can read my #ook and hope"ully youVll $et to your happy place, too Y Be"ore ! could really let the conversation sink in, =ae Sun$ had pretty much, stealthily 'alked to'ards the #ack exit 'ithout even #ein$ seen =amn you, Can$ =ae Sun$ =amn you and your stupid happy place

Y.hy are 'e meetin$ here1 2renVt you a"raid that ,u (i is $oin$ to catch us1Y Seun$ HyunVs distinct and loud voice alerted me #ack to the situation at hand ! care"ully turned my head a'ay "rom =ae Sun$Vs sudden retreat and #ack to'ards the main entrance ! couldnVt do sudden and "ast movements #ecause thatVs ;ust askin$ to $et noticed ! slo'ly li"ted my coat hood up and tried to peer "rom #ehind it &he t'o #oys 'ere dustin$ o"" the sno' o"" their coats at the entrance Seun$ Hyun, as usual, looked like he had #een dra$$ed here #y "orce ! sa' Seun$ (i hit him on the shoulder and say somethin$ ! couldnVt catch ! tried to #usy mysel" 'ith =ae Sun$Vs #ook and tried to make it seem like ! 'as semiFinterested in it 'hen ! "elt Seun$ (iVs $a)e upon my corner &hank"ully, he didnVt seem to reco$ni)e me 'ith my u$ly coat hood pulled over my head He pro#a#ly ;ust thou$ht ! 'as a random, emo teena$er 'ho 'as an$ry at li"e ! shi"ted my chair a #it, so that all they could really see 'as my #ack YHah, are you cra)y1 3ike she 'ould ever come #ack to this ca"eA SheVs too la)y to $o out o" her 'ay to come #ack here a$ain Y ! heard Seun$ (i reassure Seun$ Hyun !, also, heard them pullin$ out chairs at a ta#le not "ar "rom my o'n Excuse me1 ! couldnVt help #ut $lare murderously at my don$saen$ even thou$h he couldnVt exactly see me ! 'asnVt the one 'ho complained a#out havin$ to 'alk in sno'y conditions, ride three "ull #uses and children ridiculin$ my out"it, #ut he did have a point !" ! didnVt have this "ree coupon "or yo$a and ice cream, ! de"initely 'ould not #e here, #ut rather !Vd #e at home not #akin$ seven hundred cupcakes, thank you !Vd #e doin$ somethin$ productive 3ike knittin$ ! hear it relaxes the mind and cleanses the soul 5ever mind that youVre usin$ pointy needles that could sta# a personVs eye out, it 'as suppose to #e a relaxin$ past time (e$ardless o" his speech on my la)iness, ! continued eavesdroppin$ on their conversation Sometimes, ! think $irls ;ust have this skill "or eavesdroppin$ ! may not #e the smoothest person in the 'orld, #ut 'hen it came to listenin$ in on other peopleVs conversations, ! 'as ;ust a pro Llain and simple ! could #e havin$ a nice chat 'ith you, drink my co""ee and #e skill"ully tunin$ in on the conversation next to me YOkay, so ! kno' she #roke up 'ith him days a$o, #ut no' is the per"ect time to make your moveAY -rom the corner o" my eye, ! could see that he 'as $lee"ully clappin$ his "in$ers to$ether and had a #it o" a creepy smile on his "ace =id he ever $ive up1 ! think itVs clear that Seun$ Hyun and ! are not suited "or each other, at all Llus, heVs in love 'ith some random $irl he met at a matchmakin$ event He "elt a connection, okay, he pro#a#ly only likes her #ecause she 'as pretty, #ut you canVt "i$ht a connection 2s i" Seun$ Hyun had read my mind, he pointed out the same thin$ YSeun$ (i, ! think you o" all people should kno' #y no' that ,u (i and ! are not suited "or one another .e "i$ht like cats and do$s and !Vm pretty sure she secretly hates me Y Seun$ (i had an odd smirk plastered on his "ace Y&hatVs okayA &hatVs passion, ri$ht thereA !" you donVt have passion in your relationship, you mi$ht as 'ell not have one Lractically all relationships start o"" as hateFFdonVt you 'atch dramas1FFand then they #lossom into a timeless loveAY .o' &hatVs really all ! can say, ri$ht no'

Seun$ Hyun had his #ack turned to'ards me, #ut ! could sense that he had the same expression and thou$ht as me YLlus, itVs not like you have a choiceAY Seun$ (i shot at him Eh1 &hat cau$ht my attention .as my luck really turnin$ "or the #etter1 ! 'as "inally $oin$ to "i$ure out the hold that Seun$ (i had over Seun$ Hyun1 Ey mind 'as )oomin$ 'ith theories as to 'hat it 'as =id Seun$ Hyun have this dark past 'here he 'as some shady #lack market dealer1 =id he kidnap small cats on the do'n lo'1 Or did he used to try and recruit youn$ kids to sell knock o"" 5ikes1 =id he a sex tape "loatin$ around the internet1 Hey, donVt look at me like that 2nyone could have a sex tape these days, 'hat 'ith the technolo$y 9apan keeps comin$ out 'ith these days Or may#e, he "ailed a test and had to stay #ack a year1 5o, thatVs not enou$h "or #lackmail Y,ou kno' that ! still have the book, ri$ht1Y Seun$ (i 'as rumma$in$ throu$h that manFpurse o" his Oh, did ! ever mention that he carries a manFpurse1 ! donVt even understand it, mysel" ! donVt even carry a #a$, ! carry this pink Hello Citty 'allet that my parents $ave me 'hen ! turned /8 .hat1 ! have attachment issues, and itVs really cute1 ! sa' him place the #ook on the ta#le and shoved it to'ards Seun$ Hyun Y,ou do remem#er that !, literally, have your li"e in my hands, ri$ht1Y Seun$ (i said pointedly !Vve never seen him look so serious in my li"e .hat the hell 'as in that #ook1 ! turned my head sli$htly and sa' Seun$ Hyun crin$e a #it Okay, ! had to kno' 'hat 'as in it, and "rom my position ! could #arely see anythin$ &he t'o #oys 'ere so en$rossed in 'hatever that 'as in "ront o" them that !Vm sure they 'ouldnVt notice me i" ! decided to 'alk over and peek at 'hat that little #ook held So, ! care"ully padded over to their ta#le, all the 'hile tryin$ to #lend in 'ith the random 'aitresses and customers 'alkin$ #y &his 'as $oin$ pretty smoothly ! 'as actually surprised that ! hadnVt tripped over anythin$, crashed into a person or slipped on spilt co""ee ! $uess ! 'as $ettin$ a #it too cocky, #ecause the second ! 'as ri$ht #ehind Seun$ Hyun, Seun$ (i shi"ted his eyes a'ay "rom him and to'ards me His eyes 'idened and he 6uickly tried to $et the #ook a'ay "rom Seun$ Hyun YOH E, <O=, 5OO5FFY Be"ore Seun$ (i could do anythin$, Seun$ Hyun had picked up the #ook so that it 'as too "ar a'ay "or him to reach Y! canVt #elieve you #ou$ht these 'ith youA &o a pu#lic place, tooA !Vm really close to ;ust not carin$, anymore, you kno' that1Y Seun$ Hyun cried out, clearly o#livious that ! 'as #ehind him !t didnVt stop him "rom openin$ up the #ook so that ! could ! have a per"ect vie' o" 'hat they 'ere lookin$ at Y&OLFFY YSeriously, do you not kno' 'hat this could do to myFFY YHO3, SH!&1Y ! couldnVt help #ut yell out my reaction to the contents in the #ook

Seun$ Hyun 6uickly turned around the second he heard my cry Y.hat theFF'hat are youFFFahh, this isnVt $ood Y YOH E, <O=A !S &H2& 3EOL2(= L(!5& D5=E(.E2(1Y ! cried out, pryin$ the #ook out o" his hands and i$norin$ his statement 2ctually, it 'as more o" a catalo$ stuck inside a hard cover "older !t didnVt matter 'hat the hell it 'as, all that mattered 'as that ! 'as lookin$ at a picture o" Choi Seun$ Hyun in nothin$ #ut under'ear and $ivin$ the camera a very seductive look Y!& .2S 2 S!=E 9OB,Y he 'hispered loudly, tryin$ to tu$ #ack the catalo$ue ! held onto the #ook ti$htly, re"usin$ to let him take it #ack Y-O( 2 LO(5 E2<2>!5E1AY ! said in a voice that 'as anythin$ but a 'hisper &he ca"e suddenly seemed to $et 6uieter YDrm Y ! really didnVt kno' 'hat to say, so ! ;ust pulled a chair out and 6uietly sat do'n, hopin$ that everyone 'ould ;ust i$nore me and continue on 'ith their daily activities Y2ish, you ;ust had to open the #ook up, didnVt you1Y Seun$ (i shook his head at Seun$ Hyun once the customers o" the ca"e returned to their conversations and no lon$er starin$ at us Y.hoVs the one 'ho decided to #rin$ it to a very pu#lic place1Y he countered Y&his is 'hy youVre al'ays doin$ Seun$ (iVs #iddin$1Y ! asked in complete shock, as ! looked at the picture o" Seun$ Hyun Hey, ! may not like him that much, #ut like ! said #e"ore, !Vm a 'oman that appreciates a "ine male specimen and it doesnVt hurt i" he has a nice #ody to $o alon$ 'ith it =onVt look at me like that Okay, -!5E, ! like lookin$ at hotFFurm, handsome men that can "ill out under'ear apparel niceFFoh my $od, !Vm ;ust $oin$ to stop talkin$ 3et me en;oy this picture in peace, please Seun$ Hyun placed his hands on his red cheeks Y,es,Y he mum#led Y! you 'hy1Y ! asked 5o matter ho' much ! looked at the picture, ! ;ust couldnVt comprehend it &hen a$ain, you canVt really think 'hen youVre lookin$ at a picture like this Y! needed moneyA 2nd all ! had to do 'as ;ust model under'ear and !Vd $et paid /PPPP .O5, on the spot Y Y=id you kno' it 'as "or an adult ma$a)ine1Y ! asked, still not lookin$ up "rom the picture Y!& .2S 5O& -O( LO(5AY he 'hispered loudly Y!t 'as "or a very classy under'ear shop Y Y,eah, leopard print is very classy,Y ! murmured Y=oes this come in )e#ra print, too1Y Y2ctually it does 3eopard, )e#ra, ti$er and $ira""e print "rom si)es WS to WW3 Y

Y.H2&1Y he shot at me Y! do sales on the side "or them, too, okay1Y

Y&ch 5o 'onder youVre such a "reeloader Eodelin$ hal" naked and #ein$ a shitty salesperson really doesnVt #rin$ in the cash Y YExcuse me1 ! can #e a very persuasive salesperson i" ! 'anted to ! could charm you out o" your skirt,Y he said proudly 'hile crossin$ his arms across his chest Hah, his chest, 'ho kne' he had a #road chest underneath all those layers o"FF2HH, SHD& DL, ,D (! ,ou are such a pervert Y ,ouVve #een tryin$ "or the past "e' 'eeks, and my skirt is still securely on, thank you,Y ! told him s'eetly and "inally decided to close the picture o" Seun$ Hyun in nothin$ #ut leopard print under'ear He rolled his eyes at me and #e$an to 'i$$le his "in$er at me YHah, ! havenVt #een tryin$ &rust me, i" ! 'as tryin$ to $et into your skirt, youVd let me Y ! $ave him a pointed look and chose to i$nore the last statement and turned to'ards Seun$ (i YSo youVve #een #lackmailin$ him all this time 'ith an under'ear ad1Y He $ave me a nervous lau$h and a shru$ at the same time Y! 'as ;ust lookin$ out "or you1Y YBy #lackmailin$ a random rappFFY YLoet, !Vm a poet,Y Seun$ Hyun corrected me ! tried not to lau$h out loud *it came out as a $i$$le1+ #ecause Seun$ HyunVs V!Vm so #lueV poem 6uickly resur"aced in my head YOkay, poet,Y ! said, cou$hin$ a #it to dis$uise my $i$$le, then looked #ack at Seun$ (i Y,ou #lackmail a poet to randomly date me even thou$h you #arely even kno' 'hoFFY Y2ctually, 'e do kno' each otherAY Seun$ (i interrupted YHis umma comes to my umma "or our kimchi and he usually ta$s alon$ "or "ree "ood Dmma thinks heVs the manliest man sheVs ever met and thinks that heVd #e a $ood in"luence on me, or somethin$ Y Y.hy does "ood and "ree thin$s al'ays $o hand in hand 'ith you1Y ! asked Seun$ Hyun Such a simple 6uestion, #ut ! 'as intri$ued Y5ever mind that,Y Seun$ (i cut in Y5oona, !Vm only lookin$ out "or you Honestly, you and him 'ere never much o" a couple He #roke my electric mixer "or $ods sakeA !Vve #een 'hippin$ my cupcake #atter #y hand #ecause o" that idiot Y He then turned and patted Seun$ Hyun on the #ack YBut this, this idiot kno's ho' to semiF#ake and you kno' he has a nice #ody underneath all those layers o" clothes,Y he paused a moment to look Seun$ Hyun up and do'n 'hich ! could tell made him a #it uncom"orta#le YSpeakin$ o" 'hich, 'hy are you still layerin$1 3ayerin$ is out this year, itVs all a#out the #ri$ht tFshirts and random patterns Y =ecidin$ to save Seun$ Hyun "rom an undenia#ly lon$ lecture a#out the trends o" this season, ! decided to intervene Y,ah, Seun$ (iA Stop paradin$ him around like a piece o" meat, it sounds like youVre the one 'hoVs interesFFY ! stopped mysel" "or a moment Hm, 'ell, that sounded a #it "amiliar ! 6uickly re$ained my composure and $ave Seun$ (i a pointed look Y!Vm okay, ! donVt need a $uy in my li"e to #e completeAY ,ay $irl po'er Y,ou donVt have to keep pushin$,Y ! pointed at Seun$ Hyun, Yhim to #e 'ith me !n "act, #lackmailin$ him is really mean, Seun$ (iAY

YHahA ,eahA Even she thinks so Y Seun$ Hyun nodded his head enthusiastically He suddenly placed a #rave "ace on, and stood up "rom his seat Y,ah, 'hat are you doin$1Y Seun$ (i asked, his eyes darted nervously around the co""ee shop Y,ou kno' 'hat1 She already kno's, so 'hy should ! continue "ollo'in$ the #iddin$ o" someone three years youn$er than me1Y he asked proudly YBecause ! have multiple copies o" you in nothin$ #ut leopard print under'ear at home1 2nd ! could kill your reputation 'ith a click o" a mouse1Y he su$$ested He paused YHm, thatVs true,Y he 'as hal" 'ay to sittin$ #ack do'n #ut sprun$ #ack up a$ain Y5oA ! donVt care Sho' the 'hole damn 'orld my picture Eay#e, !Vll $et a modelin$ contract out o" it !Vm doneA !Vm not interested in ,u (i, at all 5ever in a million years 'ould ! $o out 'ith her Even i" there 'as a nuclear holocaust and ,u (i and ! 'ere the only t'o people alive and it 'as up to us to save human kind and reproduce ! 'ould never, ever even &H!5CFFY Y,2HAY ! cried out Hey, my sel" esteem 'as takin$ a #eatin$ here He looked at me and 'aved his hands at me Y! mean that in the nicest 'ay possi#le,Y he told me s'eetly and then turned #ack to Seun$ (i YSo, yeah, do 'hatever you 'ant 'ith those pictures, ! donVt careA .e are o""icially done Y 9ust to make his point, he moved his arms so that they "ormed a VWV He nodded his head once and headed to'ards the doors "or his $rand exit &o my surprise, it 'as 6uite the $rand exit He didnVt trip over anythin$ nor did he 'alk into a 'aitress and spilled co""ee all over himsel" !t 'as a per"ect exit ! 'as 6uite proud o" him Y2ish, did that really happen1Y Seun$ (i asked me once he turned around ! nodded Y!Vm surprised you let him $o,Y ! paused ! 'as makin$ it sound like they had an epic romance, as =ae Sun$ 'ould say Y!Vm more surprised that he decided to ;ust 'alk out, and !Vm even more surprised that you 'ere #lackmailin$ him 'ith porn photos o" himAY He 'aved his hand to dismiss my out#urst Y! kne' it 'as comin$ HeVs #een threatenin$ to leave me "or t'o 'eeks no' ! 'as actually anticipatin$ him leavin$ "or a'hile no' ! $uess you "indin$ out the pictures 'as the last and "inal stra' "or him Y He si$hed and $ave me a small smile YEmmFhmm,Y ! said thou$ht"ully YBut, isnVt that picture in a catalo$ue1 ! mean, thousands o" people have pro#a#ly already seen that photoA .hy is he still actin$ like itVs a dirty little secret1Y Y,ou kno', ! never noticed this #e"ore #ecause ! donVt spend my ni$hts starin$ at this picture, #ut the li$htin$ is really nice and the props are placed in really strate$ic places Y Seun$ (i had opened up the catalo$ue a$ain and seemed 6uite impressed 'ith the technicalities o" the photo Y,ahAY ! punched him li$htly on the shoulder !Vm so sure he doesnVt stare at the photo at ni$ht ! kno' "or sure that me and KPP other $irls 'ould #lo' up that photo and han$ it on our 'alls i" 'e could .hat can ! say1 ! appreciate the natural #eauty o" the human "orm1 Y2ishA ,ouVre so violentAY he murmured at me 'hile ru##in$ his shoulder Y&OL 'asnVt lyin$ 'hen he said that that shop 'as exclusive !tVs a hi$h end under'ear shop in the "ashion

district ,ou need mad connections to $et in &hereVs this key that you $et "rom this $irl at a variety store, and then you $ive it to this other $irl "rom a maid service, and then sheVll $ive you this sheet o" paper 'ith some random stu"" on it, and then you have to "ind this sketchy photo$raphy stFFY ! held up a hand to stop him Y! $et it !tVs a really exclusive store and #lah #lah #lah, ;ust skip that part and $et to the main point1Y He sco'led at me Y-ine, see i" !Vll ever take you thereA But, itVs really exclusive and pro#a#ly only /PP people in Seoul kno' a#out this store &heyVre all a#out privacy, so ! hi$hly dou#t that anyone that 'e kno' or their "riends and their "riends and their "riends 'ould kno' a#out his secret under'ear $i$ Y YOoooh,Y ! said, "inally understandin$, #ut then another thou$ht crossed my mind Y.ait, 'hy are you visitin$ some hi$h end under'ear shop1Y He $ave a nervous lau$h YHey, itVs not my "ault that mediocre under'ear doesnVt suit me ! like their "all collection, okay1 &he #lue, silk #oxers "eel like heaven a$ainst myFFY Y.HOOOO2 Okay, too much in"ormationAY ! held up my hands to stop him "rom speakin$ any more unnecessary in"ormation He shru$$ed in response and closed the #ook YBut really, ! #ou$ht that lin$erie set thin$ "rom there "or youA !snVt it the most com"orta#le thin$ in the 'orld1 Hey, at least you kno' 'here to $o i" you 'ant to "ind silk under$arments that "eel nicFFY YOC2,, HO. H2TE ,OD BEE5, SED5< (!1Y ! asked loudly, not 'antin$ to discuss lin$erie and silk #oxers 'ith him 5ever mind that he 'as my #est "riend, it 'as ;ust a'k'ard He paused and ;ust o#served me "or a $ood minute #e"ore ans'erin$ Y<ood1 &hin$s have #een $ood "or the past /8 hours since that 'as the last time ! sa' you1Y Seun$ (i said in a con"used tone, #ut then he leaned in to'ards me Y.hy1 Ho' are you1Y ! narro'ed my eyes at him Y.hy are you so close1 .hat exactly are you insinuatin$1Y He si$hed loudly and moved a'ay so that ! could have my personal space #ack Y! donVt kno', ! thou$ht you 'ere insinuatin$ somethin$ Y Y .hat1Y

Y2ish, never mind,Y he thre' his hands up in de"eat Y(eally thou$h, ho' are you1 ! mi$ht have said some stu"" a#out 9i ,on$ 'hen &OL 'as here, #ut ! kno' that he must have meantFFY YSeun$ (i,Y ! stopped him, Y'eVve had this conversation at least U times since he le"t my apartment !Vm "ineA (eally !Vm ;ust stayin$ mello' and ;ust $ettin$ on 'ith li"e Y !t 'as true &hatVs $enerally ho' #reak ups $o, ri$ht1 ,ou #reak up, sometimes you mope and you move on ,ou canVt d'ell on the past #ecause 'hat can you do1 &he past is over and done 'ith and the only thin$ you can d'ell on is the present and the "uture Seun$ (i $ave me a smile and hit the ta#le top 'ith a hard slap Y,ou kno' 'hat1 &hatVs the spiritA ,ou are almost 4P years old =id you really 'ant to spend your entire li"e 'ith ;ust O5E

$uy and not play the "ield1 ,ou should $o out on the streets and "ind a $uy, any $uyA Have your 'ay 'ith him and ;ust toss himAY !tVs really "unny ho' he ;ust repeated 'hat ! had said to =ae Sun$, #ut comin$ "rom him, it ;ust didnVt sound ri$ht Y Excuse me, are you tellin$ me to see random #oys and have mindless sexual encounters 'ith them1 ! have somethin$ called morals, values and shame, thank you Y He rolled his eyes at me Y&ch ,ou have none 'hen hot #oys are invovled Y Y .hat1 =o you really think that ! 'ould thro' a'ay all o" my Buddhist #elie"s "or a hot #oy1Y ! asked, clearly o""ended Seun$ (i looked at me as i" ! 'as the stupidest person alive YDm, yeah1 =onVt even lie and pretend that i" the mem#ers o" Bi$ Ban$ 'alked throu$h the door ri$ht no' you 'ouldnVt "lin$ yoursel" on them and possi#ly sexualFFY YOC2,, LO!5& &2CE5 ,ou donVt have to continue,Y ! said 6uickly, not 'antin$ him to "inish the sentence He smiled victorioiusly at me, #ut then looked do'n at his 'atch Y2h, !Vm really sorry, noona #ut ! have to $o ! have to $et home and clean the house #ecause apparently 'e have the priest comin$ over and umma thinks 'eVll $o to hell i" our apartment isnVt #acteria "ree &hat and ! need to $o and hunt do'n Choi Seun$ Hyun Y He started to $et up "rom his seat Y! really donVt like it 'hen ! donVt $et to have the last 'ord "or "i$hts Y 2nd ! thou$ht Seun$ Hyun and ! acted like an old married couple !" anythin$, it 'as Seun$ (i and Seun$ Hyun that #ickered like a couple He 'as a#out to say somethin$ else, #ut instead, he took somethin$ out o" his manFpurse YDm, ! accidentally took your note#ook the other day 'hen ! 'as at your place,Y he said slo'ly, as i" a"raid o" my reaction Y! thou$ht it 'as my "ood lo$ Hah, ! never kne' 'e #oth had the same Eonokuro Boo note#ook #e"oreAY ! looked up at him, curiously YHm, 'hat note#ook1Y He thrusted the note#ook to'ards me and tilted his head at me Y,ouVre so dense, sometimes &he note#ook that has your li"e in it1Y YOooh, that note#ook,Y ! nodded .o', 'here 'as my head these days i" ! didnVt even reali)e that this little note#ook 'as missin$ Y,eah, #ut ! really have to $o Y He picked up the catalo$ue 'ith Seun$ HyunVs in"amous picture in it and re$arded me 'ith a $rin YSure you donVt 'ant a copy o" &OLVs urm modellin$ shoot1Y Y,ahA .hat do you take me "or1 =o you think ! en;oy lookin$ at hal" naked men in nothin$ #ut leopard under'ear1 Huh1Y ! yelled out Y !Vll $ive you a copy tomorro'1Y he said 'ith a smile

YSOD5=S <OO=,Y ! said in the same loud tone and 'aved $ood #ye to him ! really donVt have any morals 'hen incredi#ly $ood lookin$ #oys are involved Espeically hal" naked $ood lookin$ #oys YOh, 'hat 'ere you doin$ here in the "irst place1Y he asked me suddenly, and then he looked do'n at my attire Y2nd youVre 'earin$ the ti$hts that ! $ave you1 OmoAY ! shi"ted uncom"orta#ly in my seat YDrm Y

Y2ctually, tell me later, !Vm late as it is,Y he said 6uickly and $ave me a 'ave YBye noona, have a $ood day, and donVt 'orry, ! have a "eelin$ that thin$s 'ill 'ork out Y ! smiled as ! sa' him 'alk a'ay "rom the ta#le 3ee Seun$ (i may #e the 'orst match maker in the 'orld, #ut he 'as one hell o" a don$saen$ 2"ter ! sa' him 'alk out the door, ! looked at =ae Sun$Vs #ook 'hich 'as still sittin$ in "ront o" me Eay#e, ! should ask the universe "or my morals and shame #ack1 !nstead o" pickin$ up V&he .orld is ,oursV, ! opted "or my note#ook &he last time ! had "lipped throu$h this small note#ook 'as durin$ TalentineVs =ay &hat mi$ht #e 'hy !Vve #een so scattered and "or$et"ul "or the past month !Vve #een usin$ post it notes "or reminders instead o" this note#ook ,ou really do not 'ant to see my #edroom 'all, ri$ht no' One 'all is literally covered in hot pink and neon #lue post its !tVs really not pretty &he "irst "e' pa$es 'ere mostly doodles and simple reminders such as Y=O ,OD( HOEE.O(C O( =25!E3 HE55E, .!33 5ETE( E2((, ,ODY and Y,OD 5EE= 2 IKJ O5 &HE E!=&E(E, =2EE!&Y Ey inner voice is very mean and #lunt One pa$e 'as completely dedicated to the actor =aniel Henney: /rs. $aniel 6enney. /rs. 6enney %u 8i. /rs. %u 8i 6enney $7-&9+ 69--9% &" 3-9 63'@@ Oh, dear .as ! really like this a year a$o1 &hen a$ain, this !S =aniel Henney 'eVre talkin$ a#out: hottest male actor alive ! "lipped to'ards the #ack, not 'antin$ to see the entries near the middle #ecause ! kne' 'hat they held On one o" the last pa$es, ! noticed that there 'as a sloppy messa$e: >won Ji %ong S >im %u 8i E +3L9, +3L9, +3L9 :%7% '7=+3, & +3L9 %34; 2nd in a completely di""erent hand 'ritin$, ri$ht underneath that: =4' -3' 7" /4C6 7" J& %3-(. E$ D$h ! ended up loudly closin$ the note#ook up and shoved it a'ay "rom me =ammit, ! had 'ritten that a year a$o1 .H2& &HE HE331 =id ! look like a /7 year old1 ! had hal" the mind to tear out that pa$e and crumple it up, #ut "or some reason, ! didnVt ! 'as a#out to pick up the note#ook and =ae Sun$Vs #ook and make my 'ay to'ards my yo$a class, #ut ! noticed that a small piece o" paper 'as stickin$ out o" the ed$e o" the note#ook Curious, ! opened it up and "ound that it 'as a place holder "or a pa$e near the end &he

messa$e 'as, undenia#ly, in Seun$ (iVs neat hand'ritin$ 'ith random stick people doodles on the side -oona, take a leap. & don?t care how cliche and stupid that sounds, but take a leap. +isten to the support group leader< "69 >-3*" *67' "69?" '7+>&-( 7=34'. "he deals with psycho people like you everyday. E; @ your favourite dongsaeng in the world ! couldnVt help #ut $ive a small $rin at Seun$ (iVs little messa$e Ho' is it that a /0 year old can $ive advice like that1 Sure, it 'as 'orded a #it stran$e, #ut the thou$htVs still there &ake a leap &hat should #e the motto "or my li"e Ho' many times have ! heard it "or the past month1 !tVs not like ! didnVt 'ant to $o out 'ith other #oysFFactually, ! donVt Oh, ! donVt even kno' !Vm supposed to move on, ri$ht1 ,ou #reak up, d'ell a #it and you move on ,ou take a leap in the "orm o" movin$ onA (i$ht1 But, it is hard ,ou try #ein$ in a relationship 'ith someone "or a year and then #reak up and automatically try to move on .hy is it that 9i ,on$ could so easily Vtake a leapV 'ith some $irl at a poetry clu#, and then thereVs me, ! couldnVt even u$h ! needed to $et out o" here ! really 'ish that the stupid universe 'ould $ive me a si$n and tell me that ! should ;ust move on 'ith li"e ! started to $ather my #ooks into one neat pile and 'as a#out to leave 'hen the universe decided to ans'er me #ack YHi, ! think ! have an order o" nonF'hip, nonFsu$aFFeh, ,u (i1Y ! looked up "rom the pile o" #ooks and came "ace to "ace 'ith =on$ &ae ,an$Vs surprised expression ,ay, universe, ! love you ! $uess you must really love me too #ecause youVre sendin$ all the people ! really 'ant to see most in this #i$ massive 'ave But damn He 'orks here HE(E1 !n this co""ee shop1 !n that little cute #o'tie, hey ! have to admit he does look really nice in thatFF2H, ,D (! S&OL &H!S =o you remem#er 'ho youVre talkin$ to1 Seriously Shame1 Eorals1 Cim ,u (i is lookin$ "or you YHey,Y ! tried to say smoothly Y! didnVt kno' you 'orked here Y ! hadnVt seen &ae ,an$ since he had $iven me his drunken proclamation o" like1 ! 'ondered i" he remem#ered that ni$ht1 He $ave me a shy smile and stuck his hands into the #lack apronVs pockets Y,eah, randomly dancin$ isnVt $oin$ to pay o"" the #ills Y ! nodded Eay#e he didnVt remem#er1 He 'asnVt actin$ as a'k'ard as ! thou$ht he 'ould #e YOh, 'ell, the #o'tie suits you Y .hat, ,u (i1 .H2&1 YDm, thanks Y

,ou kno' ho' sometimes you have those voices in your head that scream at you to do somethin$1 5o1 !tVs ;ust me1 2m ! really ;ust psychotic1 But no, in my head, ! had Son$ 9i HeeVs voice, on a constant repeat, shoutin$, Y&2CE 2 3E2LA &2CE 2 3E2LA &2CE 2 3E2LAY ,eah, ! really do sound cra)y, #ut thatVs all ! could hear in my head, at the time 'hich pro#a#ly explained the next event that occurred ,eah, that and 'hen the universe responds, you have to do somethin$ a#out it 3ookin$ #ack, ! canVt #elieve ! did it, either YSo ! 'as 'onderin$ i" you, may#e, possibly 'anted to do somethin$1 O" course, you donVt have to say yes #ecause this is completely out o" the #lue random and 'hatnot, ! ;ust thou$ht that may#e you 'ould like to #ecause, uh, to cele#rate your ne' ;o#, orFF! donVt kno'FFmay#e #ecause 'e havenVt seen each other lately or yeah, you could ;ust say noFFY Y,u (iFFY Y&his sounds completely 'eird, ! kno', #ecause this is me and itVs you and thin$s are kind o" stran$e #et'een us, #ut ! donV t kno', ! think itVd #e $ooFF#ut, o" course you are "ree to decline andFFY YSure Y Y=ecline, say no andFF'ait, 'hat did you say1Y He shru$$ed and $ave me that same shy smile a$ain Seriously, 'hy donVt you have a $irl"rienFF oh 'ait, itVs #ecause you like me (i$ht Cim ,u (i, you should #e proud o" yoursel", youVre pickin$ up on thin$s 6uicker these days Y! said, sure .e havenVt really hun$ out lately,Y he said, a #it a'k'ardly, Yand ! kno' that you and 9i ,on$ #roke up and ! really think that 'eFFY YHey, ho' a#out you call me later today and 'eVll set up somethin$, okay1Y ! said cheer"ully, completely tryin$ to i$nore the second hal" o" his sentence ! picked up all the #ooks and stood up and tried to $ive him a #ri$ht smile Y,eah, !Vll talk to you soonAY Be"ore he could say anythin$, ! had hi$htailed it out o" the ca"e and into the cold 'inter 'eather ! didnVt stop 'alkin$ until ! 'as a $ood 4PP meters a'ay "rom the co""ee shop ! leaned a$ainst the #rick 'all and tried to re$ain my #reathin$ Hey, speed 'alkin$ takes a lot out o" you ! couldnVt help #ut think a#out 'hat the hell ! ;ust did =id ! ;ust ask out my exF#oy"riendVs #est "riend on a date1 Oh my $od ! think ! did =oes this make me some kind o" home 'reckin$ "riendship person that came #et'een t'o #est "riends1 ! think ! am .hat the hell did you ;ust do, Cim ,u (i1 .H2& &HE HE331 &he next thin$ you kno' !Vm $oin$ to #e "eatured on one o" those cra)y talk sho's that have on air "i$hts and people ar$uin$ a#out 'ho the daddy o" a #a#y is and ho' many $uys a $irl has slept 'ith ! think ! 'as startin$ to re$ret this leap ! think !Vm over 9i ,on$1 2m !1 ! think ! am Okay, !Vm IKJ over him 'hich is $ood enou$h to oh my $od, 'hat did ! ;ust do1 Stupid universeA ,ou ;ust had to make &ae ,an$ appear in "ront o" me today, didnVt you1 5o, this leap is a $ood thin$ !tVll help me $ro' !tVll help me move on, ri$ht1 Hello, leap !Vm Cim ,u (i, itVs nice to meet you ! think this is the #i$$est leap !Vve ever done in

my li"e 3ike, i" 'e 'ere doin$ track and "ield and doin$ the triple ;ump, ! 'ouldVve 'on the $old medal "or lon$est leap 5ever mind that !Vm the most unathletic person in the 'orld, itVs a metaphor, okay1 .hatever !tVs a damn $ood leap "or me Once ! had recovered "rom my mini mental #reakdo'n, ! reali)ed that ! 'as standin$ directly in #et'een the ice cream shop and yo$a class ! si$hed heavily So many decisions today !ce cream or my state o" #ein$1 ,ou live such a complicated li"e, Cim ,u (i Ho' do you do it1

Stutter: Lart 4
9i ,on$%s Story

"our
She 'as an eccentric She had insane ar$uments 'ith hersel" 'hich she 'on three 6uarters o" the time Llease donVt ask ho' you 'in an ar$ument 'ith yoursel", this is Cim ,u (i 'eVre talkin$ a#out here She 'ould spend hours starin$ at her lime $reen #edroom 'alls to $et inspiration *or #ecause she 'as #ored+ "or a random man$a strip Her thou$hts are scattered and she can talk a#out at least 8 di""erent topics all 'ithin one #reath She 'as an artist and she drove me upFtheF'all insane ! 'as an eccentric Ey mind 'orked in a 'ay that others didnVt understand, #ut someho' she did !Vd $et inspiration "rom the simplest thin$s in li"e such as a $irl eatin$ a ham#ur$er or somethin$ poetic like a "lo'er #loomin$ midFsprin$ ,ou sa' a #reak up as a devastatin$ event, ! sa' it as the makin$s o" a "uture that you possi#ly couldnVt have had in the "irst place ! 'ore #ri$htly coloured and mismatched clothes not "or the attention, #ut simply #ecause ! 'as #ored 'ith the mundane and mediocre "ashion o""ered today Ey head is "illed 'ith rhymes and 'ords and thin$s that ;ust donVt make sense !Vm an artist and sometimes, ! drive mysel" upFtheF'all insane .e 'ere too $od damn a like Eay#e thatVs 'hy 'e 'ould have 'eekly epic "i$hts that 'ould result in one o" us sittin$ outside a door accompanied 'ith cupcakes, an apolo$y or #oth 2rtists are interestin$ creatures !tVs impossi#le to kno' 'hat theyVre thinkin$ or 'hat theyVre $oin$ to do &heir minds are al'ays morphin$ into somethin$ di""erent 'ith each passin$ day and second &hey see thin$s in the 'orld in an entirely di""erent 'ay than an avera$e person 'ould ,ou see the 'orld in #lack and 'hite1 .ell, an artist 'ill take out his paint palette and start paintin$ it red and #lue &heyVre unpredicta#le, spontaneous and a tickin$ time #om# .e 'ere so a like !t shouldVve #een clear "rom the #e$innin$ that our relationship 'as doomed to "ail, and yet here ! am, 0 months into the relationship, standin$ in "ront o" her 'ith cupcakes

outstretched in my arms 2nother "i$ht, more yellin$, a #ox o" six cupcakes, make up, #reak up, repeat ! kno' this "ormula #y heart 'hich is 'hy !Vm here ,u (i looks at me skeptically and then to'ards the cupcakes and #ack to me, a$ain 5o 'ords come out o" her mouth, instead she takes a step "or'ard and closes the door 6uietly #ehind her 2 part o" me almost 'ished that she 'ouldnVt accept my apolo$y and ;ust turn around, 'alk in and slam the door in my "ace 9ust a small, tiny, minuscule part &his "eelin$ comes and $oes !t usually comes 'hen !Vm in this exact position, and it leaves the second ! see her smile and she allo's me to cra'l #ack into her open arms .hen itVs the other 'ay around, 'here sheVs the one sittin$ outside o" my door, ! 'ould 'ish, pray and hope that !Vd have some kind o" coura$e to ;ust end thin$s, #ecause 'hat kind o" relationship is this1 -i$ht, #reak up, make up, and repeat &he $ood times are there, #ut is it really enou$h to overcome the #ad times1 ! ;ust 'ish ! 'asnVt this /I year old "ool 'ho 'as completely in like or in loveFF'ho kno'sFF'ith this certi"ia#ly insane $irl 'ho 'ants to create a man$a that 'ill #e even $reater than Sailor Eoon *althou$h, thatVs $oin$ to #e a #it hard #ecause come on, Sailor Eoon is epic+ ! 'as holdin$ out the cupcakes, #ut did ! really 'ant her to take it1 ! looked at her 'ith apolo$ies all over my "ace, #ut 'as ! really sorry1 Ey eyes 'ere askin$ her a silent 6uestion, #ut she mistook this 6uestion as Y"or$ive me1Y 'hen it 'as really Y'ill you "inally let me $o1Y ! hated this "eelin$ ! 'ondered i" this time itVll actually stay 'hen she "or$ives me, or i" itVll ;ust disappear ;ust like all the other times She si$hed and crossed her arms -or$ive me1 -or$et me1 She looked do'n at the cupcakes in my arms !" ! 'asnVt so damn sel"ish, ! 'ould ;ust drop all this crap in my arms and ;ust turn around and leave She looked #ack up at me But, !Vm not !Vm a stupid "ool 'hoVs holdin$ onto somethin$ thatVs $oin$ to sel" implode !tVs ;ust a matter o" time She continues to look at me, and her teeth tu$ at her #ottom lip ! canVt help #ut notice that itVs takin$ lon$er than usual Dsually, she ;ust si$hs and accepts everythin$ and 'e continue livin$ in this delusional 'orld 'here 'eVre okay Eay#e, sheVs seein$ the same thin$s ! am Eay#e, it 'as "inally time &hen, ! did somethin$ ! thou$ht ! 'ould never do =idnVt ! ;ust say ! 'as a "oolish co'ard ;ust a "e' seconds a$o1 3ookin$ #ack, !Vm surprised the 'ords even came out o" my mouth ! sli$htly lo'ered the cupcakes in my hands Y,u (i, may#e itVs time that 'e "inallyFFY Y! "or$ive you Y She said this 6uickly, ri$ht #e"ore ! "inished my sentence ! looked at her completely surprised Ey eyes narro'ed and she uncrosses her arms? openin$

hersel" out to me &he 6uestion 'as, did ! 'ant to $o #ack into them1 2"ter a lon$ period o" silence and 6uestionin$ looks "rom #oth our ends, YBuF#ut Y ! 'as never one to stutter .hen youVre a per"ormer, rapper, artist or 'hatever, and shootin$ 'ords out at the speed o" li$ht, thereVs no room to #e stutterin$ ! can per"orm in "ront o" hundreds o" people 'ithout a sin$le #lush or stutter, and yet in "ront o" her, this tiny $irl 'hoVs a mid$et compared to me, ! ;ust completely lose it She suddenly tu$$ed at my sleeve, never mind that my arms 'ere "illed 'ith cupcakes, and pulls me closer She takes the cupcakes out o" my hands and sets them on the $round &hen, she looks me in the eye and 6uietly repeats, Y! "or$ive you Y ! liked to think that ! 'as $ood at readin$ people ! may not seem like the #ri$htest li$ht #ul#, sometimes, #ut readin$ people is somethin$ ! like to think !Vm $ood at (i$ht no', ! could sense that there 'as some "orm o" desperateness #ehind that V! "or$ive youV, she had ;ust said She may have #een the one acceptin$ my apolo$y, #ut her acceptance "elt like a dis$uise 2 dis$uise that 'anted me to "or$ive her instead o" the other 'ay around Eay#e not "or$ive, per se, #ut rather, a plea to make me stay Her voice tried to stay "irm, #ut there 'as a sense o" unease #ehind it She pulled me even closer, and ! allo'ed mysel" to #e ! didnVt kno' 'hat to think at that time One second, !Vm too stupid to end thin$s, the next second, a sense o" #ravery overcomes me and diminishes my sel"ishness, then the next, !Vm "or$iven and #ein$ pulled #ack into open arms, and no', ! donVt even kno' 'hatVs $oin$ on She looked up at me, hesitantly Y9i ,on$ Y &hen #e"ore, ! even kne' 'hat 'as $oin$ on, her tiny hands "ound their 'ays around my neck and neatly clasped themselves #ehind it She stands on tippy toes, 'hile she pulls my "ace do'n so that our lips can meet !tVs a comical thin$, really (arely is she the one 'ho initiates these kinds o" thin$s? she #lames it on her lack o" hei$ht !" ! 'asnVt so completely cau$ht o"" $uard, ! 'ouldVve lau$hed !" ! 'asnVt so damn con"used and "oolish, ! 'ouldVve pushed her a'ay But, ! was all o" those thin$s and ! didnVt do any o" those thin$s !nstead, ! allo'ed her to pull me do'n, and kiss me so"tly, 'hile my lips stayed unmovin$ and my arms settled limply #y my sides Sensin$ my lack o" enthusiasm, she moved her lips harder a$ainst mine? 'antin$ some sort o" reaction, ans'er, anythin$ One hand leaves the #ack o" my neck and trails do'n to my coat collar and she pulls it to'ards her &hereVs no space in #et'een us, anymore, and ! can literally "eel the poundin$ o" her heart#eat Our lips never part, and ! never respond !Vm ;ust torn Lull #ack1 <ive in1 .alk a'ay1 .hile !Vm in the middle o" this inner turmoil, her hand is no lon$er $ra##in$ my coat collar, #ut rather it traces my collar#one li$htly !tVs as i" an electrical shock $oes throu$h me 9ust that sli$ht touch #reaks 'hatever sel" control, di$nity and coura$e ! had le"t &he second she touched me 'ith those sli$htly cold "in$er tips o" hers, ! 'as $one &he "eelin$ disappeared, my sel"ishness returned, and at that moment, ! ;ust sa' her &he hands that stayed dead #y my sides suddenly "ound li"e on their o'n and settled on her rounded hips ! pushed her a$ainst the doorFFnone too li$htlyFFshe had ;ust closed minutes a$o Her lips suddenly stopped movin$ a$ainst mine, and instead she $asped and tensed up at the sudden a$$ressiveness She ti$htly clun$ to my coat collar 'ith her hands, #ut she didnVt stop or deny me =espite my "orce"ul #ehaviour, my lips slo'ly #e$an to move a$ainst hers? 'antin$ to take my

time and savor the moment She si$hs a$ainst my lips and ! can "eel her #ody slo'ly #e$an to relax in my capa#le arms Hesitantly, she kissed me #ack !t reminded me o" our "irst kiss 'ay #ack in 9anuary a"ter ! came do'n "rom that sta$e ! 'as on such a hi$h Leople 'ere screamin$ my name, clappin$, si$ns that said V<F=ra$onV 'ere scattered across the cro'd and she 'as ri$ht in the middle o" it all &he hi$h 'as 'hat me corner her #ehind the sta$e and "inally kiss those timid lips o" hers ! $ently nipped at her lips, and she si$hed contently, a$ain She leaned her head #ack a$ainst the 'ooden door and pulled me #y the collar, so that 'e 'ere closer than ever #e"ore ! 'ondered ho' ! could even have possi#ly let this $o ;ust a mere minute a$o1 Ho' could ! ever have $one on 'ithout seein$ her everyday1 Ho' could ! $o on 'ithout kissin$ her like this1 Holdin$ her like this1 ! 'as so 'eak, #ut ! $uess ! 'as ;ust a youn$ "ool in love .as it love1 She "inally pulled her lips a'ay "rom mine, #ut she made no move to separate our #odies &he only sound that could #e heard in the empty apartment hall'ay 'as our harsh #reathin$ and the violent thud o" our heart#eats Her eyes 'ere #ri$ht, her lips partially #ruised and a small smile $raced her round "ace (i$ht there and then, ! kne' ! 'as $ettin$ into deep She #it her lip "or the third time that ni$ht and shyly said, Y=o you 'ant to come in1Y .ay too deep 5ot a#le to "ind 'ords, ! simply nodded and $rinned #ack at her She returned the $rin 'ith a #i$$er smile She $ra##ed hold o" my hand, and turned to open the door, #ut not #e"ore shoutin$ out, YOh, dammitAY Y.hat is it1Y ! asked, suddenly alarmed She turned #ack around and 'ith a tiny pout, she pointed to the $round ! slo'ly s'itched my $a)e "rom her sad expression to the $round, and ! couldnVt help #ut #urst out lau$hin$ Y9i ,on$A !tVs not "unnyAY she yelled out to me, and tried to slap me on the arm, #ut ! could tell she 'as tryin$ to conceal her o'n lau$hter On the $round 'ere the cupcakes that ! had tried to make on my o'n, #ut ! ended up $oin$ to the #akery instead, #ut ,u (i doesnVt have to kno' that &he comical thin$ 'as that ,u (iVs "oot 'as in the centre o" it? e""ectively crushin$ them 2"ter ! had recovered "rom my #out o" lau$hter, ! sa' her lookin$ thou$ht"ully at me Y,ou pro#a#ly spent a lot o" time makin$ them Ho' am ! supposed to make it up to you1Y She asked this innocently, #ut there 'as a #it o" a sly $lint in her eye Y=onVt 'orry, ! didnVt even makFFY ! suddenly stopped mysel" and cau$ht her expression a$ain 2s i" a li$ht #ul# had appeared over my head, ! smirked at her and placed a hand a$ainst the door"rame Y,eah, ! did slave over the kitchen makin$ those per"ect delicacies and you ;ust stomp all over them like itVs nothin$ !Vm really hurt Y ! shook my head and placed a hand over

my heart as i" it had #een 'ounded She si$hed dramatically and placed her o'n hand over mine Y&here must #e something ! can do to make up "or it1Y ! "ro'ned and pretended to #e in deep thou$ht YEay#e, there is Y ! $ave her one o" my in"amous smirks 'hile intert'inin$ our hands to$ether Y!Vll think o" somethin$ 'hile 'e 'alk inside Y ! helped her out o" the cupcake #ox she had stepped in and #ent do'n to pick it up 2ll the 'hile, ! couldnVt help #ut think that i" #ein$ stupid, "oolish and 'eak meant that ! could lau$h, "ool around 'ith her and kiss her, 'ell, ! $uess it 'as 'orth it

"ive
Y.hat the hell is a 447rd day anniversary1Y &ae ,an$ asked me in dis#elie", as he looked throu$h the overly #ri$ht and $littered piece o" paper ! ad;usted the pink cap on top o" my head #e"ore snatchin$ the card out o" his hands Y,o, this is private stu""AY He rolled his eyes at me and stuck his hands into his pockets #e"ore ploppin$ himsel" do'n onto the #ean #a$ on the $round YHo' am ! supposed to help you i" you donVt even $ive me any details1Y ! $ave him a pout He had a point ! hated it 'hen he 'as ri$ht ! tossed him the card to read and 'ent #ack to my pot o" dirt ,esterday, ! had opened my "ront door to "ind an incredi#ly hu$e pot 'ith dirt 'ithin it and a sparkly, pink card on top !, honestly, thou$ht that ! 'as ima$inin$ thin$s #ecause 2+ !t 'as 0 2E in the mornin$ and rarely do ! ever $et up #e"ore noon and B + !t 'as a hu$e pot 'ith dirt and a pink cardA Ho' o"ten do you see that everyday1 2"ter ! had $otten over my initial shock, ! plucked the card out o" the pot and reali)ed that it 'as "rom ,u (i the second ! opened it 6755% 22T8$ $7% 7--&L98"78%< 8emember how we talked about how your favourite number was 7 and mine was 02, *ell, if you add up all the numbers in 22T, you get 7, and the product of 22T is 02< (enius, yes, -o, this is not Bust a pot of dirt< $o you actually think &?m that cheap, &t?s supposedly a J+ike 5lantJ. &t grows with the amount of like you have for someone. "o, if & come by neIt week and it hasn?t started growing, well, >won Ji %ong, we are done. U.V Just kidding ... & think. %ou don?t have to get me anything since this is Bust an anniversary that my incredible mind decided to come up with, but that +ike 5lant better have a stem by neIt week< @ %u 8i ! really 6uestioned ,u (iVs sanity a"ter ! read that note and looked at the plant Come on, a 3!CE L325&1 YHahahaha, a 3ike Llant1Y &ae ,an$Vs distinct lau$h echoed in the #ack$round, 'hich #rou$ht

me #ack to reality ! shook my head and turned around to see his amused look Y,es, and a made up anniversary Sometimes, ! think sheVs cra)y Y His lau$hter died do'n, and he smiled at me YCra)yVs $ood, thou$h Y &his time it 'as my turn to roll my eyes at him Y&ch, ;ust 'ait until you $et a $irl"riend like ,u (i ,ou 'onVt #e sayiin$ that Y 3ookin$ #ack, ! reali)ed that &ae ,an$ hadnVt said anythin$ in response to that YSo, 'hy do ! need to help you1 She doesnVt even 'ant anythin$ in return,Y &ae ,an$ said a"ter a moment o" silence YShe even says so in the card, and damn thatVs the most insane card !Vve ever seen in my li"e Y ! looked do'n at the card still in his hands He 'as ri$ht !t 'as made out o" pink construction paper and it 'as like a $litter explosion had occurred ,ou 'ould expect this "rom a K year old, #ut de"initely not "rom a /I year old art ma;or ! really do 'orry a#out my $irl"riend, sometimes Y,ahA O#viously itVs a trick, =on$ &ae ,an$AY ! cried out and 'alked to'ards him to $ra# the card out o" his hands Y.hen you $et a $irl"riend, &ae ,an$, you 'ill learn that the opposite o" 'hat they say is the truth Y He $ave me a con"used look Sometimes, ! pity him He has so much to learn a#out the opposite sex !tVs a $ood thin$ that his #est "riend is an expert at them, thou$h Y!" they say they donVt like you, they actually like you !" they say theyVre "at, you have to say theyVre skinny !" they say they arenVt mad at you, theyVre actually pissed as hell,Y ! stated simply Y<ot it1Y He ended up "urro'in$ his eye #ro's in con"usion Y9i ,on$, did you 'ake up too early today or somethin$1Y ! shook my head at him in annoyance Y5oA !tVs trueA ,eesh, &ae ,an$A 5o', letVs stop #ein$ sel"ish here and $et #ack to me, okay1Y ! $lanced #ack do'n at the card YShe says ! donVt have to $et her anythin$, #ut you have to read in #et'een the lines and in #et'een the lines itVs sayin$, V! #ou$ht you this damn 3ike Llant, so you #etter $et me somethin$ pretty, tooAVY &ae ,an$ scratched the #ack o" his neck and then slo'ly $ot up "rom the #ean #a$ YDm, ! donVt think so Eay#e youVre lookin$ too much into this ,u (i doesnVt seem like the type to #e like that Eay#e your other $irls 'ere like that, #ut de"initely not ,u (i Y YEan, 'hat do you kno'1Y ! play"ully shoved him in the shoulder Y! de"initely have to $et her somethin$, no' $ive me some ideas ,ouVve #een han$in$ out 'ith ,u (i, a lot lately, hasnVt she $iven you any clues a#out random stu"" she 'ants1Y He shru$$ed YEven i" she did, ! 'ouldnVt have #een a#le to catch it #ecause you kno' she talks a#out seven hundred thin$s in "ive minutes Y ! nodded !t 'as true

YDmm, 'rite a rap a#out her1Y &ae ,an$ su$$ested, a"ter he returned to the #ean #a$ Y&hatVs so cliche, thou$hAY ! said in an exasperated tone and thre' mysel" onto my #ed Y5o, itVs not Have you ever 'ritten anythin$ a#out her1Y &ae ,an$ asked "rom the $round ! moved to'ards the ed$e o" the #ed and settled mysel" so that my head hun$ on the ed$e and ! 'as seein$ the 'orld upside do'n Y5ot a "ull #lo'n thin$, ;ust small rhymes 3ike, VShe sparkles, and $leams like Er Clean SheVs the stu"" made o" dreams, #etter than Hallo'eenV Y ! suddenly stopped and pulled mysel" up ri$ht Y=amn, that 'as a $ood rhyme ! should send her that Y Y2re you serious1 &hatVs the type o" stu"" you send to her1Y &ae ,an$ asked in shock 'hile ! #e$an lookin$ "or my cell phone Y,eahA ! send her all my $ood stuFFah, there it isAY ! picked up my phone 'hich 'as #eside the #ed underneath a lar$e neon oran$e &Fshirt YOkay, may#e a rap isnVt the 'ay to $o,Y he replied slo'ly YEmmhmm Y ! #e$an to text ,u (i the in$enious rhyme ! had ;ust created seconds a$o .hen ! "inished, ! tossed the phone to the side and returned to my ori$inal position o" vie'in$ the 'orld upside do'n Y,ah, &ae ,an$ !" you had a $irl"riend, 'hat 'ould you $ive her on your 447rd day anniversary1Y ! sa' him $ive me a thou$ht"ul look, 'ell, at least, ! think it 'as a thou$ht"ul look, itVs hard to tell 'hen the 'orld is upside do'n 9ust 'hen ! thou$ht that he had )oned out, he #e$an to talk YSomethin$ ;ust as unpredicta#le and cra)y as her and a 447rd day anniversary Y YOoooh, like $ettin$ matchin$ tattoos1 !Vve #een 'antin$ to $et another one that says, Vtoo "ast to live, too youn$ to dieV, actually Eay#e, ! can $et the "irst hal" and she can $et the seconFFY &ae ,an$ thre' a pillo' in my "ace #e"ore ! could "inish Y,ou are stupid,Y he said simply Y,u (iVs de"initely not $ettin$ a tattoo "or you, no matter ho' much she may like you Y ! thre' the pillo' #ack at him 'hich he cau$ht easily YLsh, then 'hat the hell do you mean #y cra)y and unpredicta#le1Y He leaned #ack in his #ean #a$ and looked at the pot o" dirt #eside him Y! donVt kno', may#e take her to the )oo or somethin$ <o ride some elephants1 <o inside a #ed store and start ;umpin$ on the #eds1 &ake her to an anime convention1 5o', that is unexpected #ecause ! cannot picture you at one o" those Or may#e, ;ust take her to a cake tastin$ event #ecause she loves cupcakes and cakes and you love unlimited "ood Oh, you could even take her to the amusement park and $o on that #un$ee thin$ ! think sheVs #een 'antin$ to $o on it "or a lon$ time, #ut no one has the #alls to $o on it 'ith her ,ouVre a"raid o" hei$hts so that 'ould really surprise her ,ou could even do those co""ee art stu"" since she loves co""ee so much ! donVt kno', ;ust somethin$ spontaneous Y

Dpside do'n, ! narro'ed my eyes at &ae ,an$ He mustVve "elt my stare #ecause he looked a'ay "rom the plant and to'ards me ! sat #ack up a$ain and stared at him "rom my seat on the #ed He looked a #it nervous, and his eyes #e$an shi"tin$ Y=on$ &ae ,an$,Y ! said "irmly He raised an eye#ro' at me ! smiled at him YEan, 'hat the hell1 .hereVd all those ideas come "rom1 ,ou have this mad $irl pho#ia and all this #rilliant stu"" comes out o" youAY &ae ,an$ suddenly #roke out into a lau$h 2t the time, ! thou$ht he 'as ;ust relieved that ! 'asnVt $oin$ to humiliate him more #ecause o" the lack o" a $irl"riend in his li"e, #ut no' ! kno' it 'as somethin$ entirely di""erent Y,ouVre $oin$ to make one $irl reallyFFholy shitAY ! pointed to the pot o" dirt #eside &ae ,an$ He looked at me curiously and "ollo'ed my pointed "in$er and he almost ;umped #ack in surprise &he 3ike Llant had started $ro'in$ !t 'asnVt much, #ut you could see the stem slo'ly poppin$ up "rom the dirt YHoly, ! must really like ,u (i,Y ! said in astonishment, not takin$ my eyes o"" o" it YHeh yeah, ! $uess so,Y 'as all &ae ,an$ could say in response

Chapter &hirteen, Lart One

YEmm, 'hatVs in this1 !t tastes like some kind o" "ruit that ! canVt think o" Y Y 2 pumpkin1Y Y5oona, pumpkins arenVt even "ruits &hey #elon$ in a cate$ory that ! donVt kno' the name o", #ut theyVre the same thin$ as s6uash .e learned it in homeroom today Y Y But i" theyVre the same as s6uash, that 'ould make them a "ruit, Ein H'an,Y Eun ,oun$ tried to say in the nicest 'ay possi#le 'hile s'eepin$ the ima$inary crum#s o"" the ta#le Ein H'an $ave his noona a thou$ht"ul look and opened his mouth to say somethin$, #ut instead, he popped another piece o" the pumpkin cupcake into this mouth YEmmphpummm"sdlk Y Y=onVt talk 'ith your mouth "ull,Y ! 'arned him and passed a napkin to'ards him so that crum#s 'ouldnVt #e "lyin$ every'here Y2$reedAY Eun ,oun$ said enthusiastically and shoved a #ox o" napkins at him YCrum#s that arenVt cleaned up on sur"aces can #e vehicles "or diseases 'hich may end up makin$ you very sick and the result is you dyin$ a "atal death Y

Dm Ein H'an and ! $ave Eun ,oun$ identical looks o" astonishment (eally, only she 'ould #e a#le to #rin$ up her OC= tendencies durin$ a time like this Y9ust eat your pumpkinFs6uashF"ruit cupcake thin$, and try to "or$et a#out the $erms accumulatin$ on the ta#le top,Y ! told her 'hile handin$ her another plate o" cupcakes to 'hich she $ladly took t'o !Vm not exactly sure ho' this situation came a#out ! ;ust 'anted to $o home, clean the house "or my parentsV arrival *apparently they 'ere comin$ #ack toni$ht1 Ho' in the 'orld did ! miss this1+, and possi#ly repress todayVs events &odayVs events 'ould include the art midterm that ! had "ailed to study "or #ecause o" the universeVs inevita#le knack o" sho'in$ thin$s that ! apparently 'anted to see =id ! really 'ant to see =ae Sun$Vs overly optimistic sel" 'hile ! 'as still #ein$ pessimistic and misera#le1 5o =id ! really 'ant to see Seun$ (i and Seun$ Hyun at my supposed ca"e hidea'ay1 5o =id ! really 'ant to see a hal" naked picture o" Seun$ Hyun in leopard print under'ear1 ,es .ait, noA ! mean, oh, letVs ;ust skip that 6uestion 2nd, did ! really 'ant to see =on$ &ae ,an$ C'on 9i ,on$Vs #est "riend, and ask him out on a date1 .ell, !Vm still tryin$ to "i$ure out that ans'er !Vm actually di$ressin$ "rom the ori$inal statement 3etVs not talk a#out #oys "or a moment, shall 'e1 3etVs discuss this stress"ul, dire, li"e threatenin$ situation aka my midterm ,eah, !Vm pretty sure ! "ailed it .ell, not "ail, #ut ! am one to exa$$erate thin$s, as you all kno' 2ll o" the 6uestions 'ere multiple choice 'hich meant ! had a 4KJ chance o" $ettin$ the correct ans'er &here 'ere /PP 6uestions and !Vm 6uite positive that ! kne' a#out QPJ o" the ans'ers and the rest 'as pure educated $uessin$ So i" my math is ri$ht, ! $uessed on 8P 6uestions, and ! should $et a 6uarter o" them ri$ht, there"ore ! 'as $uaranteed at least a KKJ on the midterm Drm ! donVt think ! should have done that mental math Sayin$ Y! think ! #arely passed my midtermY sounds a lot #etter than Y,eah, ! $ot a KKJY =ammit But hey, at least ! can say that !Vm still $ood at math Ey parents should #e proud Eun ,oun$ had volunteered to 'alk me home, claimin$ that i" ! 'asnVt supervised, ! 'ould most likely thro' mysel" into open tra""ic .hen 'e $ot to my "ront door, there 'ere t'o #oxes o" cupcakes "rom 3ee Seun$ (i 'aitin$ "or me Cupcakes 'erenVt the only thin$ 'aitin$, thou$h &o Eun ,oun$Vs a#solute ;oy, Ein H'an *'ho is seriously too adora#le to #e /8, mind you+, my undera$ed and ille$al nei$h#our, 'as sittin$ #eside the #oxes 'ith sparkly eyes and ! s'ear there 'as some drool comin$ out o" his mouth &his is ho' ! "ound mysel" at my kitchen counter 'ith a#out a do)en *'ell, make it three no', Eun ,oun$ and Ein H'an are such pi$s+ cupcakes surroundin$ me 'ith a noona pervert and "uture o#ese child .ell, not o#ese, #ut hey, at the rate Ein H'an is rakin$ do'n those cupcakes, heVs $oin$ to need an intense dietary plan and a li"e lon$ $ym mem#ership ,es, li"e lon$ mem#ershipA ,ou heard me ri$ht ! s'ear, there are mad scientists or insane psycholo$ists 'orkin$ "or $yms ,ou ;ust 'ant to si$n up "or may#e a month mem#ership, #ut someho' they strap you in "or a li"elon$ one Small and deli#erate comments like, YOh, youVre not Q months pre$nant1 SorryAY or Y=onVt 'orry, youVll lose that #a#y "at 'hen you hit pu#erty Oh, 'hat1 ,ouVre 4P1Y make you rethink a#out the li"elon$ $ym mem#ership plan 2renVt there la's that protect innocent people "rom scammin$ $yms1 O" course, !Vve only stepped into a $ym once in my li"e *'hy yes ! did pick yo$a over ice cream, thank youA But ! did $o to ice cream a"ter+, so !Vve never experienced somethin$ like the a#ove Eun ,oun$, on the other hand, pays a#out 4P

PPP .O5 a month to a $ym that she doesnVt $o to SheVs so 'eak 2ny'ays, someho' the talk had $one "rom &ae ,an$ to 'hether a pumpkin 'as a "ruit or not Y.hy is Seun$ (i not my #est "riend1Y Eun ,oun$ asked, as she picked up a cupcake 'ith oran$e "rostin$ Y!" he 'as my #est "riend, ! 'ould purposely date crappy $uys ;ust so that he 'ould #ake me cupcakes every 'eek Y Y,ouVre horri#le,Y ! stated "irmly, #ut $ra##ed another cupcake, nonetheless &rue to Seun$ (i "ashion, ever since the #reak up 'ith 9i ,on$, ! 'ould "ind a #ox or t'o o" cupcakes every time ! came home He had #een experimentin$ a lot #ecause !Vve never heard o" pumpkin or s6uash, cherry, #lue#erry cupcakes in my li"e #e"ore But, they 'ere still very pretty1 ! have a tendency to eat pretty thin$s, no matter i" they tasted #ad or not ! kno' this does not make sense One day, ! had #ou$ht a #ottle o" a drink that 'as a very nice shade o" pink 2"ter the "irst sip, ! reali)ed it 'as $rape"ruit ;uice and mind you, ! hate $rape"ruit, #ut ! continued drinkin$ it #ecause it 'as too pretty o" a shade o" pink not to drink But, o" course, the di""erence 'ith that pink ;uice and Seun$ (iVs cupcakes is that his actually tasted $ood Y5oona, ! hope you continue datin$ crappy #oys,Y Ein H'an said happily a"ter takin$ a lar$e #ite o" the cupcake ! turned to $lare at the youn$er #oy YExcuse me1 ,ou 'ant me to $et my heart #roken continuously and act even more psycho than ! already am1Y YDm,Y Ein H'an #e$an, nervously, Y! didnVt mean it like that ! ;ust 'ant more cupcakes1Y He pouted his lips and stared up at me 'ith lar$e eyes =ammit Ho' am ! supposed to stay mad at that1 .hy am ! so easy1 Y2ishA Stop makin$ that "aceA ,ouVre such a noona killer,Y ! tried to say in a harsh tone, #ut ! ended up smilin$ and pushin$ the plate o" cupcakes at him Cim ,u (i, you are 'eak Ein H'an happily took another cupcake and #e$an to munch on it 2"ter admirin$FFnone too o#viouslyFFEin H'an "or a "e' moments, Eun ,oun$ turned to look at me Y,ou kno', despite you "ailin$ your midterm, li"e is $ood "or you, ,u (i Y ! raised an eye#ro' at her Had she missed out on the last t'o months o" my li"e1 Y.hat the hell are you talkin$ a#out1 2re you su""erin$ short term memory loss or somethin$1 =id ! ;ust not tell you ;ust an hour a$o that ! had taken a leap 'ith =on$ &ae ,an$1 .ho is, #y the 'ay, my exF#oy"riendVs #est "riend1 =o ! need to reiterate the "act1Y She 'aved her hands at me 'hen she reali)ed that ! had $otten the 'ron$ messa$e Y5o, noA Ho' many times do ! have to tell you that it is a $ood thin$1Y Y! disa$reeAY Ein H'an said proudly ! think his sudden proclamation 'ouldVve meant more i" he hadnVt said it 'ith his mouth "ull o" pumpkin cupcake and #its o" the delicacy hadnVt "lo'n out o" his mouth Eun ,oun$ made a "ace at the youn$er #oy and $ently pushed him in the shoulder Y5o, ,u (i,

do not listen to himA &ae ,an$ 'ill do you $ood, plus you $et a chance to ride 9uliaAY She $ushed out the last part o" the sentence 'ith a $lee"ul smile Y,ah, Eun ,oun$ noonaA .hat is 'ron$ 'ith you1Y Ein H'an cried out, and once a$ain, a "e' more #its o" the cupcake came out o" his mouth Y&ellin$ ,u (i noona to $o out 'ith &ae ,an$F hyun$ and $o out 'ith a $irl named 9ulia1 ! kno' this is the ne' millenium and all, #ut ! ;ust think that is too much Y Y2ish, noooooA 9ulia is his carAY YOooooh Y He said 'ith a look o" complete understandin$, and then 6uickly turned to look at me YBut, itVs o#vious that you still love 9i ,on$Fhyun$AY Excuse me1 2pparently Eun ,oun$ "elt the same 'ay, #ecause she sputtered a "e' 'ords at him #e"ore she "inally said somethin$ comprehensi#le YEin H'anA .hat are you talkin$ a#out1 &hey 'ere never in love !" anythin$ they had the most unsta#le relationshipA On a$ain, o"" a$ain, on a$ain, o"" a$ain .hat kind o" relationship is that1Y Ein H'an pursed his lips to$ether ti$htly, a trait that meant he 'as deep in thou$ht Y5oona, ! may #e youn$, #ut i" it 'as such a #ad relationship, then 'hy 'as it al'ays onFa$ain1 !" it 'as that #ad, then shouldnVt they al'ays #e o""Fa$ain1Y Eun ,oun$ and ! looked at one another .e #oth pro#a#ly had the same thou$hts o" VSince 'hen 'ere /8 year olds so 'ise1V He did have a point thou$h !" a relationship is #ad, you end it !" itVs $ood, you keep $oin$ at it !t seems like such simple lo$ic, ri$ht1 &hen, 'hy 'ere there people like me out in the 'orld still $oin$ a$ainst this common sense "act1 &o an outsider, relationships are simple .hatVs so di""icult a#out them1 ,ou meet a #oy, start to like him, date, and dependin$ on ho' the datin$ $oes, you then #ecome #oy"riend and $irl"riend !" trou#le comes alon$, you #reak up ,ou see, to someone like Ein H'an, 'ho has never had a $irl"riend, thatVs ho' most people vie' relationships ! donVt think people reali)e ho' much you invest into a relationship ,ou invest time, e""ort, "eelin$s, and emotions into it ,ou put your everythin$ into it Eay#e thatVs 'hy people donVt 'ant to #reak up 'hen thin$s $o astray .hy 'ould you 'ant to thro' somethin$ a'ay that you invested so much in1 2 lot o" times, you $ive your all into a relationship and once it ends, 'ell, 'here does that leave you1 Empty1 Con"used1 3ost1 Y.ell, that ;ust sho's that you ;ust 'ell, no, Ein H'anA !tVs like the time 'hen your cat 'anted that #o'l o" milk, #ut then your do$ came alon$ 'ith his ru##er #one and the canary "le'FFY YEun ,oun$,Y ! interrupted her #e"ore you started to really con"use the poor #oy Y9ust stop 'hile youVre ahead Y She nodded meekly in response Y,eah, !Vm really not sure 'here ! 'asFFY YBut, you still didnVt ans'er my 6uestion, noonaA ! donVt understand ho' you can ;ust $ive up on

9i ,on$Fhyun$ 'hen itVs o#vious that you still loFFY Y,ou kno' 'hatVs "unny1Y ! cut in a$ain Ein H'an didnVt have to kno' that relationships 'erenVt like the movies, ;ust yet Llus, 'as ! really in a position to #e $ivin$ him the talk1 Have you seen my track record "or relationships1 Y&'o months a$o, ! 'ould never have done this,Y ! said 'hile #reakin$ o"" a piece o" a cherry cupcake Y!n "act, ! used to put &ae ,an$ in the same cate$ory as Seun$ (i Y Y&he don$saen$, #rother, "amily, 'ouldFneverFtouchF'ithFaFtenF"ootFpoleFcate$ory1Y Eun ,oun$ asked innocently YE', noona !" heVs in that cate$ory, and youVre $oin$ on a date 'ith him toni$ht, thatVs like incest <ross Y Ein H'an scrunched his nose in response, clearly already "or$ettin$ a#out his previous 6uestion Y&ch, #ut Seun$ (i de"initely does not have #ul$in$ muscles, so ! think &ae ,an$ deserves a s'itch in cate$ories,Y Eun ,oun$ said 'ith a sli$ht s'oon YHeVs in the -(!E5=S O53, cate$ory, and no' !Vm s'itchin$ him to the =2&!5< cate$ory1Y Y5o, heVs in the oneFhotFpieceFo"Fman and thankFyouF$odF"orFcreatin$FsuchFaFlovelyFspecimen cate$ory Y Eun ,oun$ replied 'ith a $rin YOh and also the cate$ory o" #oyFthatF!F'ouldFloveFtoF #anFFY Y.HO2, 5O. .e have some undera$ed children presentAY Y!Vm still here, and ! think !Vm too youn$ "or this conversation1Y Eun ,oun$ shru$$ed YSorryyyyyy Y Ein H'an 6uickly reached over "or another cupcake and then turned to look at the clock YOh, sorry, ,u (iFnoona, #ut ! have to $o no' ! have to take the place o" someone at the church choir He ;ust randomly 6uit yesterday and umma is "orcin$ me to $o ;oin and share my #eauti"ul voice 'ith the 'orld Y YEh 1 =o you even sin$1 ! thou$ht you only played the drums,Y ! asked him 6ui))ically, as he took another cupcake and #e$an to 'alk to'ards the door He shru$$ed in response and took a #ite o" the cupcake YCl;sd";kds"$oodl;kasd"deeds Y YHuh1Y He held up a "in$er and then 6uickly s'allo'ed the remnants o" the cupcake Y! dunno, somethin$ a#out $ood deeds1 But !Vm really doin$ it "or the "ree stu"" =ae Sun$Fhyun$ said that i" ! covered "or him, ! could $et all the "ree co""ee and pastries at this ne' ca"e near the ice cream shop and $ym across to'n Y Y.haaaat1Y ! 'as a tad #it con"used, #ut thenFFoh, 'ait ! do remem#er =ae Sun$ tellin$ me on the "irst day 'e met that he 'as doomed to #ein$ a choir #oy "or the rest o" his li"e #ecause o" his ina#ility to say no .ell, ! can see that thatVs chan$ed &sk, tsk, =ae Sun$ .hat 'ould <od say i" he kne' you 'ere #ri#in$ youn$ children to sin$ at choirs "or you1

YOh, hey, !Vm $oin$ past there, !Vll come 'ith youAY Eun ,oun$ ea$erly cried out, and she ;umped o"" her seat to $ra# her coat YOkayAY Ein H'an replied happily and then turned to'ards me Y&hanks "or the cupcakes, noonaAY He 'aved the cupcake at me and 'alked out o" the door, #ut he stopped and turned around Y! still donVt think itVs a $ood idea to $o out 'ith &ae ,an$Fhyun$, #ut i" it makes you happy Y He trailed o"" and never "inished !nstead he shru$$ed and "inished his 'alk out Eun ,oun$ tried to "ollo' #ehind him, 6uickly, #ut ! $ra##ed her arm and pulled her #eside me YEun ,oun$A &he church is at least an hour a'ay "rom your homeA .hat are you doin$1 =o you 'ant to $o to ;ail1 &his is so #eyond ille$alAY ! 'hispered loudly, #ut not enou$h "or Ein H'an to hear Y2ish, youVre hurtin$ my armAY she cried out 'hile tryin$ to pry hersel" out o" my $rip ! held on ti$htly Y.ell, $oodA ,ou deserve itA ,ouVre $oin$ to $o to #e char$ed "or crimes a$ainst children, 'omanAY Y2i$ooAY she pulled hersel" a'ay and strai$htened hersel" out Y,u (iA !Vm ;ust 'alkin$ him there, thatVs all Y ! narro'ed my eyes at her Y,ou are horri#le Y Y5oooo, stop makin$ me seem like a criminal,Y she said as she made her 'ay to the door, Y!Vm only seein$ to it that heVll $et there sa"e Y YHe is at least "our inches taller than you and has exactly "ive pounds on you Y ! $ave her a pointed look, Y!Vm sure he can take care o" himsel" Y Y2hh, stop #urstin$ all my #u##les, Cim ,u (i Y She t'isted the door kno# and 'aved $ood #ye 'ithout even turnin$ around Y!Vll see you laterA Have "un toni$htAY Y!Vll try and visit you 'hen youVre in ;ailAY ! called out a"ter her Seriously, the $irl is ;ust askin$ to $et arrested Be"ore ! had a chance to close the door, a "lurry o" neon oran$e, pink and #lue #ar$ed past me Y.hat the hell, noona1 .H2& &HE HE331Y Dr$h Could ! really handle Seun$ (i, ri$ht no'1 He 'as standin$ in "ront o" me in the 'eirdest $et up, ever He had a stra' hat on *sure, the 'eather is semi 'armer, #ut a stra' hat1+, a neon pink and #lue striped parka 'ith a "urry hood *LE&2 'ould #e up his ass i" they sa' it+, and he had on some very #ri$ht oran$e coloured skinny ;eans .hy couldnVt he ;ust dress like a normal /0 year old #oy1 ! 'ould choose to #e seen 'ith him in pu#lic more i" he ;ust 'ore normal lookin$ clothes instead o" thin$s that an aero#ics instructor "rom the UPs 'ould choose to don YDm, 'hat do you mean1Y ! asked, curiously as ! closed the door Y! 'ould like to kno' 'hy ! had to "ind out over cy'orld that you,Y he added extra emphasis on

VyouV 'ith a poke in the middle o" my "orehead, #ut #e"ore ! could really do anythin$, he continued on 'ith his rant, Yare takin$ a leap 'ith =on$ &ae ,an$ 'ithout even tellin$ me1 EE, as in your most "avourite /0 year old "riend Ee, as in the person 'ho made you several di""erent cupcakes FF and !Vm $lad to see that youVve "inished all /P #oxes in a matter o" days, $od, youVre $oin$ to #ecome o#ese FF and 'as the one 'ho 'as al'ays here "or you1 2nd, ! had to "ind this out #y a "riend o" a "riend o" a "riend 'ho 'orks 'ith &ae ,an$1 ! am o""ended, noona O--E5=E= Y ! opened my mouth to retaliate, #ut a sudden thou$ht came to my mind YSo do you think 9i ,on$ kno's, then1Y Seun$ (i placed his hands on his hips and $ave me the most incredulous look Y=o ! need to slap you or somethin$1Y Seun$ (i said in the utmost dis#elie" Y=o you hear yoursel" 'hen you talk, 'oman1Y ,eah, that is de"initely somethin$ ! need to 'ork on Sometimes, the 'ords that come out o" my mouth ;ust make no sense ! either donVt think #e"ore ! talk, or 'hen ! do, it ;ust sounds so much #etter in my head than it actually does 'hen it comes out o" my mouth &his is 'hy !Vm not $oin$ to "ind a ;o# that re6uires pu#lic speakin$ or sellin$ thin$s, ! 'ill #otch everythin$ up and my company 'ill end up losin$ millions 'hich 'ill lead to my li"e livin$ in a card#oard #ox Y! didnVt mean it like thatAY .ait, did ! mean it like that1 .hat the hell is 'ron$ 'ith your mind, Cim ,u (i1 Y,ah, ! think ! do need to slap you,Y ! heard Seun$ (i murmur Y=ammit, you 'ere so close to that leap Y Y.hat do you mean1 ! took the $od damn leapA ! asked him out, didnVt !1Y ! ar$ued 3eave it to Seun$ (i to pop my #u##le Seun$ (i said somethin$ entirely incomprehendi#le He turned around to 'alk to'ards the couch and plopped himsel" on it Y,ouVre so dum#, noona,Y he "inally said He then proceeded to place the pink #lanket over his lap &hat pink #lanket sure is $ettin$ a lot o" action -irst, drunk &ae ,an$ uses it and then 9i ,on$ spends a ni$ht 'ith it and no' itVs all over Seun$ (iVs lap YBut, #e"ore 'e $et to that, 'hy 'ould ,OD not tell EE a#out your leap1 -reakin$ Ein H'an kne' #e"ore me1 =onVt tell me =ae Sun$ "ound out #e"ore me, too1 Or even &OL1 OH E, <O=, 9i ,on$ pro#a#ly kno's #e"ore me, too Y He thre' his head #ack and placed a hand on his "orehead dramatically YHo' has the 'orld come to this1Y Honestly, all ! could do 'as stare at him ,ou 'ould never $uess that Seun$ (i 'ants to #ecome a psychiatrist 'hen he $ro's up ! al'ays thou$ht heVd #e the one in the patient chair, and not the other 'ay around ! shall pray "or Seun$ (iVs "uture patients Llus, Seun$ (i havin$ access to dru$s, 'ell, is that really a sa"e thin$1 YOh my $od, ;ust stop #ein$ such a drama 6ueenAY ! yelled out as ! "ollo'ed his path ! proceeded to pull him up into a ri$ht'ard position Y&he only person ! told #e"ore you 'as Eun ,oun$ and Ein H'an 'anted cupcakes and he heard it, so ! have no idea ho' itVs on 'hoeverVs cy'orldAY =espite my con"ession, he still shook his head $ravely YEy panda eyes are ;ust $oin$ to $et 'orse and 'orse i" ! continue #ein$ your "riend Y

! rolled my eyes at him and sat do'n next to him Y!" it makes you "eel #etter, ! only told Eun ,oun$ today and my leap FF yes, itVs a "reakin$ leap, Seun$ (iAFF happened a#out t'o days a$o1Y He tilted his head at me and re$arded me 'ith a disdain"ul expression Y5o, o" course it does not make me "eel #etter Y ! pouted at him and $ra##ed the #lanket o"" o" him and instead laid it on mysel" Y,ou are impossi#le,Y ! said 'ith a teasin$ $rin #ut it 6uickly disappeared and instead ! $ave Seun$ (i a very serious expression YBut, do you think !Vm doin$ the ri$ht thin$, Seun$ (i1Y ! t'isted my #ody and crossed my le$s !ndian style directly in "ront o" him Y! canVt help #ut "eel that !Vm $ettin$ these stran$e looks "rom people 'hen ! 'alk do'n the street !tVs like they kno' that ! asked my exF#oy"riendVs #est "riend out on a date ! am $oin$ to #reak up an epic "riendship all #ecause o" aFFY Y5oonaFFY YFF"reakin$ stupid leap that ! 'as told to take Oh my $od, !Vm $oin$ to #e all over naver and 9i ,on$Vs "an$irls and "an#oysFF#ecause he actually has someFFare $oin$ to come a"ter me !Vm $oin$ to have antiF"ans, Seun$ (iA Holy crap, !Vm not even "amous and !Vm $oin$ to have antiF "ansA !Vm $oin$ to have to moveFFY Y,ou are overreactFFY YFFto Canada and learn En$lishA Ey Corean already sucks and itVs my native lan$ua$eA OH, E, <O=, SED5< (!, .H2& &HE HE33 !S .(O5<FFY Y5OO52A -O( &HE 3OTE O- 233 &H!5<S LO3C2 =O&S, SHD& DL 25= C23E =O.5AY Consider me shutted up and calmed do'n ! #linked at him and stared at him 'ith 'ide eyes YOkay,Y he #reathed He turned around, and sat in the same position as me and placed his hands on my shoulders li$htly Y,ou are not $ettin$ looks "rom stran$ers, num#er one &hat is 'hat 'e call paranoia Second, you are not #reakin$ up an epic "riendship =id 9i ,on$ not say that he 'as relieved 'hen he "ound out that &ae ,an$Fhyun$ liked you1 He didnVt say he 'as pissed o"" #eyond #elie", he 'as relievedA &hatVs pretty much $ivin$ you #lessin$ to $o out 'ith him Llus, !Vm sure their "riendship 'ill survive i" you $o out on one date Y YBut, 'hat i" it leadsFFY YShushA 3et me "inishAY he snapped at me Y,ou are not $oin$ to $et antiF"ans #ecause 9i ,on$ is not 'orth it Okay, so he may have some "ans, #ut theyVre not $oin$ to purposely vandali)e your cy'orld and stalk you do'n and yell stu"" at you ,ouVre not $oin$ to have to move to Canada #ecause your lan$ua$e skills "ail and youVd have to resort to hand $estures i" you lived there So, all o" this insanity and cra)y talk is exactly 'hat it is,Y he stated in a "inal tone Y Dm, 'hat is it1Y ! asked in a con"used voice Y!nsanity and cra)y talkAY He "licked me in the "orehead out o" "rustration ! let it $o #ecause, in all honesty, ! deserved it

! ru##ed my "orehead hopin$ that a #ruise 'ouldnVt "orm Y2ish, ! donVt kno', Seun$ (iAY ! "lun$ mysel" #ack'ards onto the couch and stared up at the a6uamarine ceilin$ Y! ;ustFFlike, 'hatFF 'hat the hell am ! doin$1 (eally1Y Seun$ (i $ra##ed my arms and pulled me #ack to my ori$inal position Y5oona, look at me Y ! si$hed, #ut looked at him, nonetheless Y,ou are takin$ a leap 2 leap that is lon$ overdue ,ou need to #reak out o" your shell ,ou kno' 'hat that shell is1 &he shell is 9i ,on$ and he has held you there "or too lon$A ,ou need to #reak out, cra'l out and ;ust stomp on that stupid shell and then you ;ump ,ou you ;ump into a um ;ump into aFF'ell, ! donVt kno'FF! canVt think o" a metaphor #ut you can ;ump to'ards &ae ,an$ ,ou stomp on that shell and you run to'ards a #each #all 'hich is &ae ,an$ Y Y .hat1 Ho' is a #each #all &ae ,an$1Y ! think 9i ,on$ has a serious contender "or 'orst metaphor maker YDm, 'ell, ! 'as thinkin$ o" a #each settin$ ,ou kno' 'hen you step on shells at #eaches and it hurts, ri$ht1 .ell, a"ter that, ! usually $o play 'ith the #each #all and it makes me a lot happier,Y Seun$ (i tried to explain YSo, shell e6uals 9i ,on$ and #each #all e6uals &ae ,an$ See, my lo$ic makes senseAY Y5o, it doesnVt Y YOh, shut up, !Vm tryin$ to $ive you an inspirational and motivatin$ speech here and all you can do is make "un o" my metaphors1 See i" ! $ive you "ree psycholo$ical sessions in the "uture #ecause 'e all kno' youVre $oin$ to need them,Y he said in hau$hty tone YOkay, okay, sorry, do continue,Y ! said apolo$etically Hey, those "ree therapy sessions may #e help"ul in the "uture and he can prescri#e my dru$s 3e$ally His #itter expression slo'ly turned into a sympathetic one Y5oona, you need to let $o o" him Y ! scrunched my nose at him in response Y.hat are you talkin$ a#out1 !" askin$ out a $uyFF 'hich ! have never done in my li"e, mind youFFisnVt lettin$ $o, then ! donVt kno' 'hat is Y Y&en minutes a$o you 'ere $ettin$ paranoid a#out 'hether or not 9i ,on$ kne' a#out you and the leap and 'onderin$ 'hether you should move to Canada and take up hand $estures as a second lan$ua$e !" that is not 5O& lettin$ $o, then ! donVt kno' 'hat is Y ! didnVt 'ant to admit it, #ut he 'as ri$ht !nstead o" admittin$ de"eat, ! mum#led somethin$ incoherent and thre' mysel" #ack'ards onto the so"a a$ain Y,ou kno' !Vm ri$htAY ! heard Seun$ (i #eside me YBlar$h,Y ! murmured ! placed my hands over my eyes to #lock out the #ri$htness o" the a6uamarine ceilin$ Y3et $o 3et $o 3et $o Y Y&hatVs the spirit, noonaAY he said in an excited tone YCeep on repeatin$ that mantra Y ! pushed mysel" #ack up into my ori$inal position and "ro'ned Y.hat am ! doin$1 !Vm $oin$ psycho Y

Y,ouVre $oin$ to $et your #each #all and play volley#all, dammitAY Seun$ (i hit the #ack o" the so"a 'ith a "orce"ul "ist and tried to $ive me a triumphant look Y.hat are ,OD talkin$ a#out1 !tVs sno'in$ outside and there is no 'ay in hell that !Vm playin$ any type o" sporFFY Y5oona, !Vm usin$ my metaphor, humour me, please Y !$norin$ his last statement, ! pursed my lips to$ether and si$hed YEay#e, ! should ;ust $o and cancel !Vm a "reakin$ "riendship homeF'reckerAY ! ar$ued and leaned over to $ra# my cellphone Be"ore ! 'as a#le to touch it, Seun$ (i had #eaten me to it and no' 'as in possession o" it Y5O,Y he said "orce"ully Y,ouVre $oin$ to $o out on this date and have a $ood time, dammit ,ouVre $oin$ to reali)e that there are other #oys in the 'orld other than 9i ,on$ and you 'ill have "unAY Y3C9S=-9C3,Y ! cried out and thre' my hands up in the air in "rustration YHe is my exF #oy"riendVs #estFFY Y=o you kno' ho' many times youVve called &ae ,an$Fhyun$ Vmy exF#oy"riendVs #est "riendV1Y He paused "or a moment to let the 6uestion to sink in and #e"ore ! could even ans'er, he sprouted out, Y&OO E25, &!EES, 5OO52A &OO E25, &!EESA !" you keep thinkin$ o" him as your exF#oy"riendVs #est "riend, everythin$ you did FF your leap, your descent into madness FF 'ill #e all in vainA ,ouVre not $oin$ to $o any'here i" you keep thinkin$ o" him in that mind "rame So, start thinkin$ o" him as some ! donVt kno' hot #oy that youVve #een 'antin$ to #anFFY Y.HO2, OC2,AY ! automatically held up #oth o" my hands to stop Seun$ (i "rom continuin$ Y! $et it 5o need to continue Y He si$hed heavily and 'ent #ack to the pityin$ look !t 'as the look that you $ave to a hopeless case &hatVs really nice o" you, Seun$ (i &hinkin$ that your noona is a hopeless case and 'ill never $et over her stupid, cracked up rhymin$ exF#oy"riend o" hers ,es, ! can $et a lot out o" a sin$le look Y,ou need to $et over it, plain and simple Y ! #it my lip and #e$an to a'k'ardly play 'ith the "rayed ed$es o" the pink #lanket Y!Vm ! suddenly looked up Y5o, 'hat1 ! am over it ,eah, IKJ is pretty $ood, ! think Y Y=amn 'ell #etter $o up to /PPJ,Y he demanded ! scrunched my nose and $ave Seun$ (i a thou$ht"ul look Y.ere you al'ays this "orce"ul and demandin$1 ! remem#er you #ein$ more understandin$ .hat happened to the days 'hen you 'ould ;ust $ive me cupcakes, nod and pat me on the head and tell me everythin$ 'as $oin$ to #e alri$ht1Y Seun$ (i opened his mouth to speak, #ut then he paused, as i" he 'as 'onderin$ the exact same thin$ Y.ell, that 'as #e"ore you decided to #ake 0PP cupcakes, visit a support $roup and $o to poetry readin$ clu#s Y tryin$ Y

Y&rue, may#e ! should try "lan !tVs pretty to look at and itVs all ;i$$ly 'hen you shake it Y YHah, youVll #e ;i$$ly too, i" you end up makin$ 0PP servin$s o" "lan in ramekin cups Y Y,ou kno', you kinda "ail as a #est "rieFFY (et your seIy on, go ?head be gone with it, get your seIy on, go ?head be goneFF Be"ore Seun$ (iVs 9ustin &im#erlake messa$e tone could continue, he ea$erly "lipped it open ,ou kno' ho' thereVs "an$irls and "an#oys, ri$ht1 .ell, thereVs "an#oys and then thereVs fanboys Seun$ (i #elon$s in the latter cate$ory ! s'ear, he has a shrine devoted to Er &im#erlake in his room 3ast year, he entered this contest to meet 9ustin &im#erlake, #ut the entire application "orm 'as in En$lish (e"usin$ to ask "or help, he ended up "illin$ it out himsel" 2ccordin$ to the "orm, Seun$ (iVs "ull name 'as, YE( 9& ! 3DT D, &2CE EE 2.2, -(OE CO(E2Y and he is actually a she and he 'as #orn in Seun$ (i City in the province o" 3ee Someho', he ended up $ettin$ past the "irst round and no', all he had to do 'as stand on top o" a #ill#oard in the "ree)in$ cold 'inter 'eather ! had to $ive him some credit thou$h, he 'ent prepared He had at least "ive layers o" clothin$, six meals prepared and heVs pretty $ood at manipulatin$ people Someho', he only ended up $ettin$ second Ei$ht hours o" ice pellets and sno' "lurries "inally did him in Llus, heVs pretty much a stick, so !Vm surprised he even lasted that lon$ -irst pri)e 'as "irst class tickets to 5e' ,ork, all inclusive hotel stay, ^KPP DS= spendin$ money and T!L seatin$ "or a 9ustin &im#erlake concert Seun$ (i thou$ht that second place 'ould at least $et him tickets, #ut instead, second place 'as a neat co""ee mu$ 'ith a sticker o" 9ustin &im#erlakeVs "ace plastered on it 5eedless to say, Seun$ (i 'as not happy ! didnVt see him "or a 'eek a"ter that contest YOh, 'hat the1Y He "lipped his cell phone closed and looked up at me to $ive me an apolo$etic look YStupid &OL 'ants to take the pottery 'e made to$ether in that pottery class Lsh, he thinks he can actually take my stu"", heVs $ot somethin$ comin$ Y ! rolled my eyes at the youn$er #oy in "ront o" me Seriously, ;ust date him already, Seun$ (i YSo, ! really 'ish ! could stay, ri$ht no', #ut my pots are in dan$er !" he takes them home, he 'onVt take care o" them ! thou$ht 'e had a$reed that ! 'ould take the pots &hen in the "uture, i" he really 'anted to, he could come #y and see them Y He si$hed heavily and raked a hand throu$h his hair !t 'as evident that the situation 'as makin$ him stressed ! #it my ton$ue "rom sayin$ somethin$ o""ensive and mean YOkay,Y he turned #ack to'ards me and placed his hands on my shoulder Y,ouVre not $oin$ to cancel on him, okay1Y ! nodded, meekly ! 'as $oin$ to carry throu$h 'ith this leap ,essiree, ! 'asnVt $oin$ to #ack out 5ope, noperee Oh $od, 'hat the hell is 'ron$ 'ith my voca#ulary today1 Y! demand to #e the "irst person you call 'hen you $et #ack, okay1Y he said in a very serious tone to 'hich all ! could really do 'as nod once a$ain His "ace then #roke out into a smile and he turned #ack around to search "or his scar" YSeriously, ! canVt #elieve ! had to "ind over cy'orld that you took a leap !" you $ot married, !Vd pro#a#ly "ind out a"ter the 'eddin$ !" you had #a#ies, !Vll pro#a#ly "ind out 'ith text messa$e or a post it sayin$, Voh, ! "or$ot to mention, !

'as pre$nant and ! had a #a#y yesterdayAVY YOh my $oodness, 'hy are you not in theatrics1 ,ouVd #e a hu$e hit thereAY ! shoved his scar" *yello' and oran$e polka dots today+ at him Seun$ (i $rate"ully took the scar" and then stuck his ton$ue out o" me Y!Vm seriousA &he second the date ends, you #est #e pressin$ V4V on your speed dial and tellin$ me ho' much #etter o" a #oy, or manFFyeah, &ae ,an$Vs de"initely a man ! sa' him at the $ym the other day FF 'hile ! 'as 'alkin$ past it #ecause you kno' they have those $lass 'indo's and everythin$, ri$ht1 FF and holy polyester, !Vm not even $ay and ! think ! have my "irst manFcrush Y Ean crush1 .hat1 Seun$ (i noticed my con"used expression He started to descri#e his ne' term 'hile neatly tyin$ his scar" Y.ell, you kno' ho' you have a $irlFcrush on Hyori, ri$ht1 .ell, itVs the same thin$, ;ust 'ith $uys Y Y !nstead o" comin$ up 'ith ne' 'ords to add to ur#andictionary com, ! think you need to sleep more or study or even #ake me cupcakes Y ! $ave him a sli$ht pat on the shoulder and a sympathetic look He rolled his eyes at me and "inished knottin$ the scar" YOkay, 'ell, ! do need to $o, no' Ey #a#y pots are in dan$er &OL could never love them like ! 'ould love them,Y he said 'ith a 'ist"ul si$h He turned around to $ive me a 6uick 'ave and started to head "or the door #ut not #e"ore sayin$, YHave "un 'ith your leap toni$ht 9ump "arA 2s i" youVre playin$ leap "ro$ 'ith #each #alls on a hot summer dayAY ! really donVt understand Seun$ (iVs humour or metaphors, sometimes Y9ust $o,Y ! said, 'avin$ him o"", #ut 'ith a smile

Y-ineeee, ! have to see ho' my #a#ies are doin$ any'ays Y He "lipped his scar" over his shoulder and allo'ed the door to shut #ehind him as he 'alked out Be"ore ! could really comprehend 'hat he had ;ust said or even "i$ure out his lame metaphor, my phone #e$an vi#ratin$ #eside me S:4S!;4< ;4 %Y "O'K<9 'rites: hey, dress warmly tonight and don?t eat too much before we meet up E; Okay, donVt look at me like that Clearly, no one $ets to put their real name in my cell phone ,ou see, &ae ,an$ means sun 'hich is soleil Soleil is sun in -rench, and i" you take out hal" o" that 'ord, itVs Sol Sol is also his supposed nick name .ell, heVs al'ays smilin$ and thatVs like sunshine to me and smilin$ and sunshine al'ays makes me happy Since my phone is al'ays in my pocket and heVs the sun, there"ore itVs like sunshine in my pocket <et it1 Sometimes, !Vm astounded #y my #rilliance Eay#e this is the universeVs 'ay o" tellin$ me that ! should ;ust let $o and move on .as it really

a coincidence that the second Seun$ (i leaves, ! $et a text messa$e "rom &ae ,an$1 Oh, universe, you 'ork in such stran$e 'ays .hat i" !Vve #een sendin$ out V! 'ant to $o out 'ith &ae ,an$V "re6uencies out into the universe, unconsciously, and the text messa$e 'as the universeVs 'ay o" ans'erin$1 ,eah1 &hat, or !Vve #een han$in$ out 'ith =ae Sun$Vs insane and overly optimistic sel" 'ay too lon$ Or may#e Seun$ (i 'as on to somethin$ ! really should ;ust $et over the pain o" the seashells and ;ust $o out and play some #each volley#all D$h (emind me to never use Seun$ (iVs metaphors ever a$ain

-ly <entleman: Lart One

&ae ,an$%s Story Y&ae ,an$Fah, can you cover the last hal" hour o" my shi"t "or me1Y =id it really happen1 =id ! really ;ust accept her o""er1 =id !, =on$ &ae ,an$, ;ust a$ree to a date 'ith my #est "riendVs exF$irl"riend1 Y&ae ,an$AY ! think ! need to pinch mysel" 2m ! even a'ake1 =id ! really do 'hat ! ;ust did1 C'on 9i ,on$ is $oin$ to #eat me, 'ell, at least, try to, #ecause he may #e taller than me, #ut heVs such a stick Hee 9in could pro#a#ly #eat him to a pulp and she is /P years old and less than Q "eet He needs to eat more 5ext time ! see him, !Vll #rin$ over a #o'l o" dduk#o$i, and may#e a $i"t certi"icate to ! <(O. &(EES #ecause o" his "ondness "or plants ,ou kno', ! $otta "latter him #e"ore he decides to spontaneously com#ust 'hen ! tell him 'hat !Vm $oin$ to do Should ! even tell him1 &hat dduk#o$i, 'ell, hey, ! could really $o "or some spicy "ood ri$ht no', #ut ! shouldnVt even #e thinkin$ a#out "oodA &hat is #ecause ! am $oin$ on a date 'ith my #est "riendVs exF $irl"riend 'hom !Vve liked "or the past "e' months .hat the hell is 'ron$ 'ith you, &ae ,an$1 .hy canVt you ;ust like a nice, normal $irl 'ho doesnVt have lime $reen 'alls, #akes seven hundredFF Y,ah, &ae ,an$AY someone cried out 'hich 'as "ollo'ed #y a li$ht punch in the shoulder !t, e""ectively, dre' me out o" my nonsensical thinkin$ ! looked up "rom the steamin$ cup o" co""ee in "ront o" me and to'ards the "ace o" the ne'est 'aitress at the ca"e ! shook mysel" out o" my thou$hts and $ave her an apolo$etic smile YOh, sorry, my mindVs ;ust preoccupied Y She smiled at me, 'armly, in response YSVokay, #ut can you cover "or me1 ,ou kno' that #oy 'ith the small eyes and really nice smile that le"t a#out t'o hours a$o1Y ! shru$$ed Y5o, sorry, ! came in ;ust a#out 7P minutes, a$o, remem#er1Y ,eah and ;ust /K

minutes a$o, ! may have done either the smartest or dum#est thin$ in my li"e Y2hh,Y she nodded, Y'ell, he ;ust called and asked i" ! 'anted to see a movie and it starts in /P minutesAY She proceeded to $ive me a small pout and sad eyes Y! kno' your shi"t ;ust started, #ut could you possi#ly cover "or me1 !Vll #rin$ you #ack one o" those paper cro'ns that they include in every popcorn purchase1Y &he ca"e 'as currently dead 'hich explained 'hy ! 'as a#le to sit do'n and have a cup o" steamin$ co""ee, #ut that 'ould chan$e in a#out "i"teen minutes &he peak hours o" ca"e operations 'ere 8 2E F U2E, then lunch and endin$ at rush hour .e 'ere approachin$ rush hour and havin$ only one person at the re$isters 'asnVt exactly a $ood idea, #ut then a$ain, ! really 'anted that paper cro'n &his ne' 'aitress FF 3inda 'as her name FF had only #een her "or a "e' short days and she already kne' a#out my o#session "or all types o" head $ear FF paper cro'ns included Even ri$ht no', ! 'as sportin$ a #eanie 'ith my 'aiter out"it ! mentally 'ei$hed the options in my head: paper cro'n or $oin$ insane and havin$ a mental #reakdo'n #ecause o" too many customers !tVs sad to say that the paper cro'n 'as 'innin$ over my state o" mind ! si$hed loudly and nodded YOkay, "ine, #ut it #etter #e a nice cro'n and not the "limsy ones Y 3indaVs "ace #roke out into a hu$e smile and ! think she mi$ht have s6uealed She leaned over to $ive me a 6uick peck on the cheek to 'hich ! reddened $reatly at Y&hank you, &ae ,an$A ,ouVre such a nice $uyA !Vll #e #ack in /P minutes, ! have to $o to the #ack and chan$e Y She "lashed me another $rin #e"ore runnin$ to the #ack room .hen she le"t and ! 'as le"t 'ith only my cup o" co""ee, ! couldnVt help #ut re"lect #ack on her 'ords ,ouVre such a nice $uy Hah, &ae ,an$, youVre al'ays $oin$ to #e the nice $uy, and you kno' 'hat they say: nice $uys al'ays "inish last

___ a$e: 8
YSH.OOOOOOSHHHHHH, E5EE, 3!5E, E5EE, 3!5EA <O!5< =O.5A CE(LO............AY C'on 9i ,on$ currently had #oth o" his arms outstretched in t'o strai$ht lines #eside him, and 'as runnin$ around the park pretendin$ that he 'as an airplane He suddenly "ell do'n to the $round and #e$an to convulse madly YE29O( =O5< &2E ,25<A C.O5 9! ,O5< !S =O.5A =O.5A =OOOOOOOOOOOOOO...................55555AY He continued his dra'n out scream, and then laid his head do'n on the $rass and completely stopped movin$, all to$ether ! looked over at my supposed #est "riend "rom the s'in$s and i$nored him ! continued to s'in$ #ack and "orth? 'antin$ to $o hi$her and hi$her

Y,2HA =O5< &2E ,25<A 9! ,O5< !S =O.5AY 9i ,on$Vs head had shot #ack up and $lared at me ! shru$$ed at him, and continued my 6uest o" tryin$ to "ly over the sun Y,OD( BES& -(!E5= !S =,!5<A =O5V& ,OD .25& &O SEE H!E BE-O(E HE <OES &O HE2TE51Y he yelled out to me Y!Vll meet him there 'hen my s'in$ $ets past the sun and moon and starsAY ! cried #ack, as my s'in$ 'as slo'ly makin$ its 'ay to'ards its destination Y,ou donVt love me, at allAY 9i ,on$ $ot up "rom the $round 'ith a sco'l on his "ace and made his 'ay to'ards the monkey #ars Y! doAY ! ar$ued YBut, ! canVt love you too muchAY Y.H2&1 ,ou canVt love me, too much1 !Vm like a #rother to youAY he shouted, as he #e$an to clim# up the #ars ! stretched my le$s out as "ar as they could, tryin$ to $ain momentum Y.ell, yeah, #ut !Vm not marryin$ you, am !1Y Out o" the corner o" my eye, ! sa' 9i ,on$ almost miss a #ar and almost topple to the $round Y,2HA =O5V& =O &H2&A O#viously, !Vm not marryin$ youAY ! lau$hed loudly, and allo'ed my s'in$ to $o #ack and "orth a "e' more times #e"ore ans'erin$ Y! have to save some love "or the $irl !Vm supposed to marryA ! canVt $ive it all to youAY 9i ,on$ had made his 'ay to the top o" the monkey #ars and 'as sittin$ there like a kin$ 'ith a con"used expression Y.hat1 ,ouVre 8 years oldA 2renVt you supposed to "ind a $irl 'hen youVre /81 So "or,Y he #e$an to use his chu##y "in$ers to count and then looked up and "lashed ei$ht o" them to me, Yei$ht years you have to "ind a 'ay to $ro' to #e six "eet, "ind a dream ;o# and then $et marriedAY Y!tVs /P yearsA &his is 'hy your umma almost #eat you 'ith the #room 'hen she sa' your math test,Y ! yelled out in response &he sun 'as $ettin$ closer and closer, ! kne' this #ecause ! had to s6uint even harder every time ! 'as s'in$in$ "or'ard YLsh, 'hatever !Vm not $onna need to kno' ho' to do math 'hen ! #ecome a tree planter 'hen ! $ro' up,Y he retorted, as he attempted to stand on top o" the thin metal #ar Y&ree plantin$ is $oin$ to #e a'esomeA !Vll $et to travel around the 'orld and plant trees and $et paid 0 cents per tree &hatVs a lot o" money, &ae ,an$AY ! scrunched my nose at 9i ,on$Vs choice o" career "or 'hen he $re' older Y&hatVs not $oin$ to impress a $irl, thou$hAY ! yelled #ack 9i ,on$ 'as tryin$ to #alance himsel" on top o" the monkey #ars and "lailed his arms a #it Y.hat are you talkin$ a#out1 &ree plantin$ 'ould impress any $irlAY His 'ei$ht moved to'ards the le"t and "or a second, it almost looked like he 'as $oin$ to "all, #ut he re$ained his #alance Y.ell, i" tree plantin$ doesnVt 'ork, ! can al'ays impress her 'ith my nursery rhymin$ skillsA V9, and $irl 'ent up a hill, to "etch a #o'l o" kimchi, 9, thou$ht it 'as too hot, and $irl did not and

no' theyVre not to$etherAY ! resisted the ur$e to tell him that his nursery rhyme 'as ;ust a cheap knock o"" o" V9ack and 9illV HeVs never $oin$ to make it as a pro"essional rapper Eay#e itVs a $ood thin$ he 'ants to #e a tree planter 'hen he $ro's up ! i$nored his impulsive nursery rhyme and continued s'in$in$ #ack and "orth !" ! reached my le"t hand out, ! could almost touch the sun 9i ,on$ lo'ered himsel" to sit #ack do'n on the monkey #ar and tried to $ive me a thou$ht"ul look Y.ell, my cousin is /0 and 'hen ! 'as at his house "or the summer, he al'ays #rou$ht home a di""erent $irl every ni$htA Eay#e, youVre not supposed to stick 'ith one $irl1 ,ouVre supposed to $o out 'ith 3O&S o" $irlsA Eay#e "ive or six a dayAY ! couldnVt help #ut allo' my "eet to skid across the sand to prevent me "rom continuin$ on 'ith my $oal ! turned to look at 9i ,on$ and $ave him a dum#"ounded expression Y,ouVre stupid Y 9i ,on$ almost looked o""ended Y.haaaat1 !Vm ;ust tellin$ you 'hat ! sa'AY Y5ah, !Vll stick to one $irl, thanks,Y ! told him calmly, as ! #e$an s'in$in$ a$ain YBut, 'hat i" youVre not supposed to1 .hat i" you $et 'arts and 'elts i" you only stick 'ith one $irl1 Heeeyy, may#e each $irl you date $ives you somethin$ thatVll stop you "rom $ettin$ a disease1 Huh1Y 9i ,on$ looked like he 'as on the #rink o" discoverin$ a 'ay to "ool your parents into lettin$ you $o to sleep past your #edtime ! 'as too used to his cra)y ideas so ! ;ust continued to #uild the momentum that ! had lost on the s'in$s #e"orehand Y,ou make no sense, at all Y Y5o, like may#e each $irl is like a superhero, yeah1 Say you have three $irls: ,eh !n, .on Sook and 9un$ 2hn !" you $o out 'ith ,eh !n, sheVll stop you "rom havin$ constipation .on Sook 'ill take a'ay mi$raines and 9un$ 2hn 'ill umm, make you not have cooties1Y He asked me ea$erly and then as i" a li$ht #ul# had appeared over his head, he snapped his "in$ers YHey, may#e thatVs 'hy my cousinVs $oin$ out 'ith all those $irlsA He 'ants to #e as healthy as possi#leAY ! had to admit, this 'as one o" 9i ,on$Vs #etter theories <irls 'ere 'eird and our parents and teachers never talked to us a#out them, so the only 'ay 'e could learn a#out them 'as throu$h lookin$ at them and a lot o" $uess'ork So, ! $uess thatVs 'hy 9i ,on$Vs theory some'hat made sense .hy else 'ould his cousin #e $oin$ out 'ith a di""erent $irl each ni$ht1 Y! donVt kno', may#e,Y ! replied as ! continued to s'in$, #ut ! could only do so much on my o'n YHey, 9i ,on$A Come push me on the s'in$sA ! need to $et hi$herAY Y! am ri$htA ,eahA .hen !Vm older, !Vll $o out 'ith &E5 di""erent $irls a day and !Vll #e super healthy and live to #e /4PA ,eahAY 9i ,on$ said happily, clearly proud o" his sudden discovery He then looked to'ards me, Y2h, youVre too heavy, thou$h Eay#e tomorro', !Vll push you Y He 'aved a hand at me and proceeded to clim# do'n the monkey #ars and run to'ards the sand#ox so that he could share his theory 'ith the other #oys Y,eeah, okay,Y ! murmured ! mi$ht have a$reed 'ith 9i ,on$, #ut inside, ! still only 'anted one $irl =atin$ /P di""erent $irls a ni$ht looked tirin$ Llus, ! ;ust needed only one $irl to help push me on the s'in$s so that ! could reach my $oal o" $ettin$ to the sun

a$e: /8
Y2h, mother"uckin$ shithole ass"ace Y ! tried to #alance the drunken 9i ,on$ on my one shoulder 'hile he continued to murmur o#scenities Every time ! thou$ht he 'as actually passed out, he 'ould start "lailin$ his #ody and cursin$ like a sailor ! reminded mysel" to never come to a party 'ith a depressed 9i ,on$, ever a$ain He had "ailed an exam, his "avourite music $roup had dis#anded and the store had sold out o" chocopies FF all on the same day Eind you, 9i ,on$ loves his chocopies 2s li$htly as ! could, ! thre' 9i ,on$ on the #ed and $ave a hu$e si$h o" relie" ! stood #ack and looked at the no'Fpassed out 9i ,on$ on the #ed ! couldnVt help #ut 'onder 'hy he 'as so stupid and 'hy & 'as so stupid to allo' mysel" to #e dra$$ed into his messes ! 'as /8, unemployed, sin$le and still hadnVt $ro'n to six "eet, yet !Vm #e$innin$ to think ! shouldVve #een drinkin$ milk instead o" oran$e ;uice FF like 9i ,on$ told me toFF 'hile ! 'as $ro'in$ up Eay#e then ! 'ould #e six "eet tall Stupid C'on 9i ,on$, youVre the cause o" all my pro#lems !Vm not 8 "eet tall, ! donVt have a $irl"riend and !Vm lookin$ a"ter your drunken ass toni$ht at the party o" the year ! hate you, sometimes &he second 'e had entered the house party, ! had lost him in the cro'd Hal" an hour later, ! sa' him on top o" a ta#le 'ith a #ottle o" so;u in one hand and on his other arm 'as the schoolVs FF ho' should ! say this FF easiest $irl, 9un$ Sun 2h Seein$ the happy 9i ,on$ on top o" that ta#le 'as a clear contrast to the depressed one, thirty minutes a$o But once ! $ot closer, and he had ;umped o"" the ta#le, ! reali)ed that he 'as completely pissed out o" his mind !t took a#out "i"teen minutes and a "alse promise o" /K #oxes o" chocopies 'aitin$ "or him "or 9i ,on$ to "inally allo'e me to take him up to a spare #edroom upstairs By the time ! $ot to the stairs, he had startin$ usin$ every sin$le s'ear 'ord possi#le 2nd no', here ! 'as, standin$ here lookin$ at ho' pathetic 9i ,on$ could #e, sometimes &hen a$ain, !Vm the one 'hoVs al'ays $ettin$ him out o" these situations, so may#e that made me even more pathetic ! thre' mysel" #ack'ards onto the small couch #eside the #ed and tried to "i$ure out a 'ay to $et 9i ,on$ #ack to his home 'ithout his parents "indin$ out 5ot only 'ould his parents #eat him 'ith a #room, #ut they 'ould pro#a#ly someho' "ind a 'ay to secretly kill him and destroy all evidence i" they "ound out he had a "ailed a test and had $otten piss drunk Y!s he okay1Y a clear "eminine voice echoed throu$h my thou$hts ! 'as too lost in my FF'ell, 9i ,on$VsFF pro#lems to have heard the li$ht "ootsteps 'alkin$ into the room ! 6uickly turned around and sa' 9un$ Sun 2h, hersel", standin$ there 'ith an amused expression She leaned a$ainst the 'all? not takin$ her eyes o"" o" me -or the "irst time that ni$ht, ! reali)ed ;ust ho' ti$ht and short her red dress 'as 5o' 'as de"initely not the time to #e noticin$ thin$s like this Y!Vm surprised he passed out so 6uick,Y she said 'hile pushin$ hersel" o"" the 'all Ey eyes "ollo'ed her as she 'alked across the room to'ards 9i ,on$ ! couldnVt help itA !Vm /8 years old

and i" a pretty $irl is 'alkin$ past me and her dress hikes up a "e' inches 'ith every step she takes, 'ell, all ! can really do is look YDh, yeah,Y ! said, lamely ! 'as surprised ! could even talk She may have #een easy, #ut hey, a pretty $irl is a pretty $irl YLity he passed out so "ast,Y she stated, althou$h she didnVt sound very sorry "or 9i ,on$Vs condition, at all She turned #ack around to "ace me and $ave me a smile !t de"initely 'as not a $ood smile !t 'as the type o" smiles that your ummas 'arned you a#out Sun 2h 'as the type o" $irl that you 'ere supposed to stay a'ay "rom ,ou 'ere supposed to look do'n 'hen they passed you in the hall ,ou 'ere supposed to i$nore them i" they called out your name ,ou 'ere supposed to run in the opposite direction i" they smiled at you <irls like 9un$ Sun 2h 'ere ;ust #ad ne's "or #oys like me She smiled at me, #ut ! didnVt run a'ay, instead, ! sat rooted in my spot She #e$an to make her 'ay to'ards me and ! have to say, that red dress had to #e the shortest piece o" cloth !Vve ever seen in my li"e Y&ae ,an$Fah1Y She $ave me a 'icked smile and sat do'n next to me, $race"ully .ith one dainty "in$er, she #e$an to trace small circles on my ;ean covered knee She then looked up at me 'ith that same smile and leaned in even closer Y9i ,on$ is out "or the ni$ht Ho' a#out you leave him here and,Y she trailed a "in$er slo'ly up to'ards my thi$h, Y'e $o some'here more private1Y Holy shit HO3, -DCC!5< SH!& &his 'as the only thin$ $oin$ throu$h my mind Eind you, ! $o to church every Sunday and ! still read a #i#le passa$e every ni$ht, so me thinkin$ those 'ords, 'ell that means somethin$ cra)y and insane is happenin$ YDmm,Y 'as the only thin$ that came out o" my mouth =onVt look at me like that ! have the schoolVs easiest $irl sittin$ next to me and she 'ants to $o some'here private and her hand is slo'ly makin$ her 'ay up my thi$h, !Vd like to see you say somethin$ that makes sense Her hand suddenly le"t my le$ and instead she $ra##ed my hand and placed it on top o" her #are thi$h Ey eyes must have 'idened to the si)e o" tennis #alls and my eyes are tiny 5o, theyVre practically nonFexistent as is, so this $ives you an idea as to ho' surprised ! 'as Ey hand On a $irlVs thi$h 2 $irlVs &hi$h Lut it all to$ether She leaned in even closer, so close that ! could "aintly smell the so;u on her #reath Y2re you interested1Y she 'hispered a$ainst my cheek HE33, ,ES &hat 'as 'hat ! really 'anted to say .hat kind o" sane, happy, normal /8 year old #oy 'ouldnVt say that1 Sadly, ! 'as not a sane, happy, normal /8 year old On the contrary, ! 'as a #it deran$ed, an$ry, and a completely not normal /8 year old ! really did 'ant to say yes to 9un$ Sun 2h, #ut 9i ,on$Vs u$ly "ace kept sho'in$ up in my head Oh, hold on, not in that 'ayA Hey, ! may not have #een 'ith a lot o" $irls, #ut trust me, ! like $irls .hether ! 'anted to i$nore it or not, the "act 'as that 9i ,on$ 'as passed out in this room and the only person that could #rin$ him home in one piece 'as me &hat and there 'as also the #ros #e"ore hoes rule, and ! "elt that ! should honor it FF no matter how easy Sun 2h 'as

Y! donVt kno',Y ! mana$ed to say Ey hand le"t her thi$h so that ! could 'eakly point at the unconscious 9i ,on$ YHeVs kinda passed out and FFY Y.e can $o to another #edroom,Y she said silkily ,ES 5o, ! couldnVt say say yes &ae ,an$, you have morals <ood morals Eakin$ out or sleepin$ 'ith random $irls are #ad morals &akin$ care o" 9i ,on$ and #ein$ a $ood "riend are $ood morals -ollo' the $ood morals ,ES 5o, this 'ouldnVt do <od, 'hy couldnVt ! ;ust #e a normal /8 year old1 5ormal /8 year old males 'ould have le"t their "riend dead on the #ed, #y no' 5ormal /8 year olds 'ould #e in the next room makin$ out 'ith the easy yet pretty $irl, #y no' Llease explain to me 'hy ! canVt #e normal1 .ith a heavy si$h, ! shook my head YSorry, Sun 2h, youVre a really pretty $irl, #ut ! ;ust canVt Y ! can already hear the $ay ;okes tomorro' at school 9i ,on$, the thin$s ! do "or you ! should 6uali"y "or the 'orldVs #est #est "riend a'ard !nstead o" "reakin$ out and yellin$, Sun 2h smiled so"tly and stood up She didnVt look o""ended or sad or anythin$ that ! had expected Y,ou kno', youVre the "irst $uy to ever re;ect me Y &hat isnVt somethin$ !Vm really proud o" She 'alked closer to'ards me !t 'asnVt until ! could see her circle lenses that she stopped She closed her eyes and $ave me a so"t and 6uick peck on the lips Ey "irst kiss Sorta !t 'as on the lipsA &hatVs all that matteredA She dre' #ack and $ave me another smile Y,ouVre such a $entleman, &ae ,an$ Y .ith that, she turned around and le"t the room 'ithout even lookin$ #ack 2s ! 'atched her retreatin$ #ack, ! couldnVt help #ut think, V<E5&3EE251V Sometimes, ! ;ust really hate mysel" .hy could ! not act like a normal /8 year old male1 .hy1 YDrm#lar$hk;d"slk;a"AY ! turned around to see 9i ,on$ slo'ly ease himsel" up into a sittin$ position He placed a hand on his head and s6uinted his eyes Y.hat the hell happened1Y he murmured ! moved to stand #eside him on the #ed and held #ack the ur$e to choke him to death ! think 9i ,on$ is the reason 'hy ! ;ust canVt #e normal He pulls me into random crap and ! have to pull him out o" it and itVs ;ust one, #i$ complicated mess Y.ell, you kinda drank a lot, passed out and yeah, no' youVre here Y YOh, really1Y He looked up at me and then #ack do'n to his lap Y! donVt even remem#eFF B32(39<HAY

Even the person 'ith the "astest re"lexes in the 'orld couldnVt have avoided this situation ! looked do'n at my shoes FF my #rand ne' shiny 5ikes FF and they 'ere completely covered in 9i ,on$Vs vomit 9i ,on$ 'iped his mouth 'ith the collar o" his shirt and then tried to $ive me a 'eak smile YSorry1Y Someone out there had to #e testin$ me ,ou cannot kill C'on 9i ,on$, &ae ,an$ He is your #est "riend He likes to scre' up, #ut he is your #est "riend HeVs the reason 'hy you only $et a peck on the lips 'hen it couldVve #een a "ull #lo'n make out session, #ut he is your #est "riend Sometimes, ! really hated #ein$ a $entleman

-ly <entleman: Lart &'o

&ae ,an$%s Story

a$e: /U
Y! like her Oh, my $od, 'hat the hell do ! do1Y Sometimes, ! think my eyes are $oin$ to roll out o" their sockets #ecause o" the sheer amount o" eye rollin$ ! do in 9i ,on$Vs presence .e 'ere, currently, tryin$ to "i$ure out a calculus pro#lem that involved sine, s6uare roots and e6uilateral trian$les 'hen 9i ,on$ had suddenly announced his con"ession .ithout even lookin$ up "rom my text#ook, ! thre' my eraser at him to 'hich he s6uealed at and ! "latly said, Y! kno' you do, and may#e you should do somethin$ a#out it instead o" complainin$ like a /7 year old $irl to me Y ! heard 9i ,on$ push #ack his chair and si$h dramatically Y5o, ! actually like her ! donVt even kno' 'hy SheVs so 'eird and insane, #ut ! like her Y !, also, si$hed loudly #ut "or entirely di""erent reasons ! "inally looked up at 9i ,on$ and he actually looked trou#led He had #een talkin$ a#out Cim ,u (i "or the past "e' days and he 'ouldnVt shut up a#out it ,u (i 'as interestin$, to say the least She 'as not your avera$e $irl, and completely di""erent "rom 9i ,on$Vs usual $irls he took an interest in Y,ou like her1 2s in, youVre 'illin$ to not ;ump ship a"ter the "irst date 'hich is 'hat you do 'ith all your other $irls1Y 9i ,on$ had a tendency o" runnin$ a"ter $oin$ on a date 'ith a $irl ,ou kno' the story o" the V(una'ay BrideV1 .ell, ! $uess you can call 9i ,on$ the V(una'ay =ateV &he lon$est relationship heVs had 'as Q hours and that 'as only #ecause the "ilm machine 'as #roken 'hich dra$$ed the movie out "or an extra hour 9i ,on$ turned around to look at me, shocked Y.hat1 ! do not cut mysel" loose a"ter every dateAY

YEmmFhmm,Y ! nodded, pretendin$ to a$ree Y,ouVre such a typical $uy, 9i ,on$ ,ouVre so scared o" commitment Y ! 'ent #ack to tryin$ to "i$ure out the derivative o" sine, #ut ! heard 9i ,on$ make a sound that oddly resem#led a hyena, ;ust three pitches lo'er Y! am not a typical $uyAY He placed a hand over his heart, clearly o""ended at my accusation Y.ell at least, ! $o out 'ith $irls unlike youAY ! didnVt have time "or this ar$ument today 2ll ! 'anted to do 'as "i$ure out tri$ calculus, #ut no, ! couldnVt even do that !nstead, "or the next hour ! 'as $oin$ to have to talk a#out my lack o" love li"e and 9i ,on$Vs stupid $irl pro#lems Y! mean, you need a $irl"riendAY 9i ,on$ clapped me on the #ack hard to emphasi)e his point Y&ch, & need a $irl"riend1 ,ouVve never even #een in a relationship lon$ enou$h to #e 'ith a $irl,Y ! countered He al'ays ran #e"ore any $irl could catch him and "orce him into any type o" relationship 9i ,on$ ti$htly $ripped my shoulder 'ith the hand that 'as on my #ack ;ust seconds a$o Y.ell, at least !Vm out 'ith $irls Y ! did $o out 'ith $irls ;ust not as much as 9i ,on$ ,eah, ! 'as /U, #ut somethin$ a#out $irls still made me uncom"orta#le and ridiculously shy !tVs stupid #ecause at this a$e, ! should #e completely relaxed and play"ul around the opposite sex ! should #e $oin$ to random parties $ettin$ drunk and makin$ out 'ith the "irst hot $irl that comes on to me, #ut ! donVt Y&ae ,an$, youVre /U,Y 9i ,on$ said calmly and took the seat #eside me Y(emem#er 'hen 'e 'ere six, 'e talked a#out 'hy 'e had to date more than one $irl1 .ell, itVs somethin$ like thatAY ! sco""ed at him Y2re you seriously tryin$ to "ind some truth in a conversation 'e had /4 years a$o1 ,ou also thou$ht youVd #e rich #y #ecomin$ a tree planter and look 'hat it $ot youA One o" your arms is #i$$er than the other, no' Y 9i ,on$ looked appalled at me He held his arms out and rolled up the sleeves Y5ot trueA Eay#e t'o summers a$o, #ut no' theyVre #oth the same si)eAY ! rolled my eyes at him "or the t'enty third time 9i ,on$ actually 'ent throu$h 'ith his tree plantin$ career t'o summers a$o !t 'asnVt as luxurious as he thou$ht it 'as &hey traveled in a lar$e, 'hite vehicle and slept in tents and only #athed 'hen it rained He didnVt $et paid 0 cents as he thou$ht #e"orehand, #ut rather it 'as only K cents Because shovelin$ 'as one o" the main physical la#ors o" tree plantin$, the e""ects o" this strenuous activity 'as that only one o" your arms 'ere $ettin$ a 'ork out 'hich resulted in one arm #ein$ relatively lar$er 'ith a #ul$in$ muscle One month in and 9i ,on$ 'as practically cryin$ on the other line and #e$$in$ "or someone to save him "rom his nature lovin$ hippieFes6ue tree plantin$ $roup Y.hatever, you canVt possi#ly think that our 8 year old selves $ave us valua#le in"ormation on $irls1Y ! asked in dis#elie" #e"ore pickin$ up my pencil and attemptin$ to $o #ack to cosine and tan ! 'as hopin$ that 9i ,on$ 'ould catch on that ! didnVt 'ant to have this conversation and ;ust 'anted to do math home'ork He didnVt

Y5oooo, &ae ,an$A ! 'as a very 'ise 8 year oldAY He ar$ued and then snatched the pencil out o" my hands and thre' it #ehind me Be"ore ! could actually yell at him "or his childish antics, he started talkin$ a$ain YSee, ! said that 'e had to date $irls #ecause ! thou$ht they could $et rid o" illnesses, ri$ht1 But itVs notAY Y5ooo, the horror, 9i ,on$A .hy, oh 'hy, do 'e have to date so many $irls then1 ! "eel as i" my entire li"e has #een a lie &ell me the truth, pleaseAY ! said in a very o#vious sarcastic tone 9i ,on$Vs eyes lit up YExactlyA ! mean, 'hy are 'e supposedFFhey, are you #ein$ sarcastic1Y ! $ave him a pointed look Y2ishA ! hate you, sometimes Y He hit me hard on the #ack, #ut it 'asnVt enou$h to do harm #ecause 9i ,on$ is still a stick 2 stick 'ith one muscled arm and one lanky arm Y2ny'ays, the point o" datin$ many $irls is to "ind out 'hat you like ,ou 'ouldnVt #uy a car 'ithout testin$ out di""erent ones "irst, ri$ht1 =atin$ $irls is like a hu$e #u""et #e"ore "indin$ that one meal you really likeAY He paused "or a moment and once a$ain, his eyes 'idened YEan, that is one $ood metaphor ! have to 'rite that do'n, some'here Y =onVt even $et me started on 9i ,on$ metaphors He could 'rite a #ook on them, ! s'ear YDh huh, so 'hat1 ,ou $o out 'ith the same type o" $irl each time,Y ! said, 'antin$ to de"er the conversation a'ay "rom me He shru$$ed at me Y,eah1 2nd no' ! kno' that ! canVt deal 'ith those types o" $irls1 So, !Vm $oin$ in the opposite route 'ith ,u (i1Y YSo youVre into 'eird, insane and sli$htly psychotic $irls, no'1Y ! asked innocently ,u (i 'as nice, #ut sometimes she could #e really out there 9i ,on$ "urro'ed his eye#ro's and stayed silent "or a moment 'hich is very rare, ! have to say Y,eah, may#e ! donVt kno', ! ;ust really like her and ! donVt kno' 'hy1Y ! si$hed at 9i ,on$Vs response ! had to admit, ! donVt think !Vve ever seen him this hun$ over a $irl #e"ore Dsually 'hen he likes a $irl, he $oes ri$ht up to her and starts talkin$ in some 'hacked En$rish and apparently that $ets $irls s'oonin$ ! donVt understand it, either But 9i ,on$ has liked ,u (i "or more than a month no', and heVs still moonin$ over and canVt $et up the nerve to ask her out Y.hy donVt you ;ust ask her out1Y ! asked !t seemed so simple ! donVt kno' 'hy 9i ,on$ didnVt think o" it Y.H2&1Y 9i ,on$Vs eyes 'idened and he slapped his palms on his knees Y!tVs not &H2& easy, you kno' Y ! #linked YDm, #ut thatVs 'hat you do "or every other $irl Y Y5ooooo,Y he 'ailed and leaned #ack a$ainst the chair Y!tVs di""erent this timeAY YDm, okay1Y

He pushed himsel" up'ards a$ain and looked me in the eye Y&his time, ! think ! really like her 2s in, like her Y (i$ht, and there are di""erent types o" like1 Y2ish, ! donVt kno'AY He ru""led his hair in "rustration and stood up YOkay, my head hurts, !Vm $oin$ home Y ! looked at him in shock Y.hat1 ,ou canVt ;ust FF you kno' 'e have a hu$e math test tomorro', ri$ht1 2nd you havenVt even "i$ured out ho' to "ind the derivative o" a simple tri$ e6uation1Y He $ave me an expression o" complete dismay Y,ou are a $eek, &ae ,an$ ! am $oin$ to $o home, lock mysel" in my room and listen to -ly to the Sky and hope that they 'ill help me 'ith my pro#lem Y ! tried not to #urst out lau$hin$ Y2re you serious1Y YHey, love does "unny thin$s to a manVs heart and mind Y ! almost chocked on my o'n spit Y.H2&1 ,ou love her no'1Y He 'aved his hands in "ront o" me Y5ooo, itVs ;ust an expression 2ny'ays, !Vm $oin$ to $o home and hope"ully this pro#lem 'ill $o a'ay ! also have to pray to $od that ! pass this math test thatVs in U hours Y Y Six hours,Y ! corrected him &'elve years and he still "ails at #asic math Y!nstead o" prayin$, you could actually attempt to study1Y Y! could, #ut ! 'onVt,Y he said lamely He #e$an to pack up his #ooks and stu""ed them into this #a$ ! didnVt ar$ue 'ith him #ecause there 'as no point in doin$ so !tVs not like 9i ,on$ 'as actually $oin$ to listen Y2lri$ht, 'hatever, see ya tomorro' Y He said 'ith a 'ave #e"ore 'alkin$ out the room 2"ter he le"t, ! couldnVt help #ut re"lect on 9i ,on$Vs situation !t 'as stran$e seein$ him act this 'ay ! didnVt even kno' he o'ned -ly to the Sky al#umsA 9i ,on$ is usually up"ront and smooth 'ith $irls, so seein$ this 9i ,on$ act con"used and semiFdepressed 'as di""erent Even thou$h his metaphors 'ere completely ridiculous, they held some truth ,ou really do need to sample as many di""erent types o" "oods #e"ore you can "ind one you can call your "avourite &he pro#lem is 'hat i" youVre too scared that itVs $oin$ to taste #ad1 .hat i" itVs too spicy and you end up cou$hin$ and dyin$ o" the hotness1 .hat i" the "ood 'as expired and then you end up sick in #ed "or days1 .hat i" itVs a type o" "ood thatVs ;ust too di""erent and youVre scared to try it1 &hereVs too many risks involved and ! think that is 'hat scares me the most Oh, my $od 3ook 'hat 9i ,on$ has done to me !Vm even talkin$ in metaphors Sometimes, ! think ! need to "ind a ne' #est "riend ! 'ent over to pick up the pencil that 9i ,on$ had decided to thro' impulsively ;ust a "e' short minutes a$o

&here 'as some truth to 9i ,on$Vs lecture, #ut ;ust like my six year old sel", ! 'as still holdin$ out "or one $irl !Vd rather "ind one $irl 'ho ! 'as completely com"orta#le 'ith instead o" #ein$ a'k'ard and 'eird 'ith t'enty di""erent $irls !Vm a patient $uy So "ar, itVs #een /4 years and ! still havenVt reached my $oal o" touchin$ the sun !" ! can 'ait that lon$, 'ell, ! could 'ait a little #it lon$er "or that one $irl to appear in my li"e

a$e: /I
Ey head "elt like it 'as $oin$ to explode and 'hy did ! think ! had ;ust 'oken up underneath the sea1 YShit, shit, shit,Y ! murmured, 'hile slo'ly sittin$ up !Vve come to reali)e that ever since !Vve developed a crush on ,u (i, !Vve #een s'earin$ and $oin$ to con"ession a lot more ! ru##ed my eyes and $roaned out loud .hat exactly happened last ni$ht1 2nd 'hy in the 'orld 'as everythin$ so #ri$ht and #lue1 ! looked around the room 'hile cradlin$ my head as i" that 'ould stop the immense pain .ell, this house 'as de"initely not mine ! had 'hite 'alls and this house had a6uamarine coloured ones ! looked do'n in my lap and noticed a pink #lanket ! de"initely did not o'n a pink #lanket .here the heFFoh, my $od 2s i" "lood $ates had ;ust opened, all the memories o" last ni$ht came at me in one #i$ 'ave !" anythin$, this 'ave made my head 'ant to explode even more so and my #ody to 'alk its 'ay to'ards the a6uamarine 'alls and thro' mysel" a$ainst it ,ou stupid "ool, =on$ &ae ,an$ .ho $ets drunk 'ith their #est "riend and then make their 'ay to said #est "riendVs $irl"riendVs house and say a 'hole #unch o" sentimental stu"" you 'ould never say i" you 'ere so#er1 ,OD, &2E ,25<, ,OD Con$ratulations, you 6uali"y "or the title o" #i$$est idiot in the 'orld Hell, you #lo' o"" all the competition, they should ;ust $ive you the title ! $roaned out loud &his 'as de"initely not lookin$ to #e a $ood day, at all ! pushed mysel" o"" the $round, stum#lin$ a #it as ! tried to "ind #alance ! looked around ,u (iVs apartment and "ound it completely empty, save "or the hu$e amount o" cupcakes in the kitchen ! ;ust 'anted to hit mysel" ri$ht no' Hit mysel", thro' mysel" o"" the #alcony, die FF pick one Ey head 'as poundin$ and ! ;ust really 'anted to cra'l under a rock and never come out ! canVt even #elieve that ! drank so much 'ith 9i ,on$ yesterday !Vm not even a drinkerA <od, 'hat the hell1 ! thou$ht that the stupid s'itch in me 'as o"" ! thou$ht it 'as completely dead and #roken and ;ust off "orever Ho' did ! kno' that a "e' #ottles o" so;u 'ould automatically make the s'itch turn on a$ain1 =on$ &ae ,an$, youVre so pathetic ,ouVre pinin$ "or a $irl youVre never $oin$ to $et &o make matters 'orse, itVs your #est "riendVs eIF$irl SheVs already kissed some random $uy and moved on "rom #oth you and 9i ,on$ 5ot like she had anythin$ to move on "rom 'ith you #ecause you

and her 'ere never even to$ether in the "irst place 3i"e 'ould #e so much easier i" ! never met you, Cim ,u (i .hy do ! like you1 9ust, 'hy1 ! have nice, normal $irls 'antin$ to date me *'ell, thatVs 'hat everyone says, #ut !Vm ;ust a #it o#livious+ and yet, 'hy am ! so attracted to you1 ,ouVre 'eird, insane, random and a threat to my sanity, #ut ! still like you 2re my tastes in $irls ;ust as 'hacked as my hormones1 Seriously ! still remem#er turnin$ do'n 9un$ Sun 2h at that stupid party #ecause ! "elt ! 'as #etrayin$ 9i ,on$ and my morals &H2& !S 5O& 5O(E23 HO(EO523 BEH2T!OD( -(OE 2 /8 ,E2( O3= !" ! 'as a normal /8 year old #oy 'ith normal erratic hormones, ! 'ouldVve #een all over her 2ish, stupid hormones, loyalty and un'ritten codes #et'een "riends ! needed to $et the hell out o" this apartment, no' ! "elt that the lon$er ! stayed in this room, ! 'ould start $oin$ insane &he pink #lanket 'as still stuck on the velcro o" my ;acket .alkin$ and tryin$ to $et a #lanket o"" o" me at the same time, 'hile still hal" drunk, resulted me in stum#lin$ several times and almost knockin$ do'n a plate o" cupcakes 5ever a$ain am ! drinkin$ 5ever ! s'ear on my #i#le, 9ulia, my dead hat collection, Lerry the Larrot and my likin$ to'ards psychotic $irls 2men 9ust as ! 'as a#out to turn the doorkno# and leave, ! reali)ed that ! had a per"ect vie' o" ,u (iVs room "rom 'here ! stood 2 part o" me told me to $et the hell out o" this rain#o' coloured apartment to save mysel" "rom more em#arrassment #ut another part o" me 'anted to see ,u (i FF as creepy as that may sound Clearly, the alcohol 'as still havin$ an e""ect on my mind #ecause #e"ore ! kne' it, ! "ound mysel" in "ront o" ,u (iVs #edroom door Seriously, !Vm never drinkin$ alcohol a$ain !" ! 'as so#er, ! 'ouldVve done the rational thin$ and le"t, #ut no, !Vm hal" drunk and stupid, and this is 'hy ! slo'ly pushed open the already opened door and as 6uietly as ! could 'alked in the room ! mi$htVve #een #linded "or three seconds #ecause o" the sheer #ri$htness o" her room Honestly, 'ho paints their room lime $reen o" all colours1 5ormal $irls paint their rooms pink, purple or some nice earth tone Ey taste in $irls is so very 6uestiona#le .hen ! 'as "inally standin$ in the room, ! couldnVt help #ut think ho' un#elieva#ly creepy ! 'as #ein$ ! 'as standin$ in the #edroom o" a $irl that ! had ;ust con"essed my "eelin$s to'ards and ! had also passed out drunk a"ter doin$ so 5o', here ! am standin$ in her #edroom 'hile she 'as sleepin$ Con$ratulations, =on$ &ae ,an$, not only are you stupid, #ut youVve #ecome a certi"ied $rade 2 creeper 'ho likes to sneak into unnoticin$ $irlsV #edrooms 'hile they sleep Okay, ! really need to leave, no' ! 'as a#out to 'alk out a$ain, 'hen ! noticed that all o" ,u (iVs #lankets and pillo's 'ere on the $round and she 'as huddled a$ainst the 'all, still soundly asleep 9ust lookin$ at her, #rou$ht out the an$el and devil parts o" my mind: 2n$el, Y3ook, sheVs cold, you should put a #lanket on here, and #e the $entleman that you are Y =evil, Y.H2& &HE -DCC !S .(O5< .!&H ,OD1 <et the hell out #e"ore you make a #i$$er ass out o" yoursel" Y

&his 'ent on "or another /K seconds #e"ore ! actually $ave into the an$el side .hat can ! say1 <entleman throu$h and out, even durin$ stupid situations like these 'hen ! kno' ! should #e listenin$ to the devil side ! li$htly padded over to ,u (iVs #ed, care"ul not to trip on anythin$ on the "loor Her #ack 'as turned to'ards me and all ! could see 'as the #ack o" her #i$ #a$$y &Fshirt and her uneven pa;ama pants ! 'as a#out to pick up a #lanket "rom the $round, #ut ! noticed that the damn pink #lanket 'as still stuck to my ;acket !nstead o" riskin$ some #i$ accident #y pickin$ up somethin$ "rom the $round *my luck really hasnVt #een the #est these days and doin$ somethin$ simple 'ill most likely result in somethin$ dire+, ! "i$ured it 'ould make sense to ;ust use this scratchy pink #lanket 9ust as ! 'as a#out to place the #lanket over here, ! heard her murmur somethin$ and roll completely over onto her #ack &hose t'o seconds had to #e the most terri"yin$ t'o seconds o" my li"e ,es, even more terri"yin$ 'hen ! had actually asked her to consider me as somethin$ more than a "riend, and ! 'as completely so#er 'hen ! did that Come to think o" it, !Vm not even sure 'here that #out o" coura$e came "rom ! donVt kno' i" ! could do anythin$ like that a$ain But, ri$ht no', she 'as in "ront o" me, sound asleep 'ith a very sexual &Fshirt *V!Vm a sex #om#, i$nite meV+ on !Vm not even $oin$ to think a#out 'here she $ot it "rom ! couldnVt help #ut ;ust look at her Hey, !Vm in her room 'hile sheVs sleepin$ !Vve already achieved creeper status, so ! mi$ht as 'ell take advanta$e o" it and ;ust look at her Eany people say that you look di""erent 'hen you sleep .hat lies ,ou look the exact same, ;ust 'ith your eyes closed and perhaps some drool comin$ out o" the corner o" your mouth But, ! had to admit, no' that her eyes 'ere closed and the maniacal look 'asnVt present, she looked a #it more innocent and sane ,u (i al'ays has this 'ild look in her eyes 'hen ! see her !tVs as i" sheVs plottin$ somethin$ ridiculous #ut she still thinks it makes sense and hi$hly plausi#le ! donVt kno' &he minds o" $irls 'orks in mysterious 'ays .ays that !Yll pro#a#ly never #e a#le to comprehend She ;ust looked really calm and nonFerratic ! think at that moment ! reali)ed 'hy my s'itch had decided to turn on a$ain 5ot only 'as the s'itch on, #ut so 'ere the an$el and devil sides o" me: 2n$el, Y5o, &ae ,an$ ,ou canVt ;ust $ive into these ur$es SHE !S ,OD( BES& -(!E5=VS EWF <!(3-(!E5= B2CC 2.2, Y =evil, Y9i ,on$ has put you throu$h so much crapA ,ou deserve thisA SheVs sleepin$A <!TE HE( 2 C!SS O( COL 2 -EE3 O(FFY =evil side o" me really needed to shut up 2ctually, so did the an$el side ! have put up 'ith a lot o" 9i ,on$Vs crap, may#e ! deserved somethin$ $ood "or once in my li"e &hen a$ain, she is 9i ,on$Vs exF$irl"riend and likin$ her is a hu$e no But alsoFFokay, ! needed to stop this &ryin$ not to do anythin$ more, ! placed the #lanket on her, and 'alked a'ay (i$ht ! didnVt even look #ack ! didnVt listen to the voices in my head and ! ;ust le"t ! 'alked out o" her room? 'alked out o" the a6uamarine livin$ room? and "inally ! 'as standin$ outside o" her apartment door ! $ave a hu$e si$h o" relie" ! could leave and "or$et this situation happened 'ell, at least "or the next "e' hours 2"ter that, ! needed to "i$ure out 'hat the hell to do and 'hether ! should

;ust pretend it didnVt happen or ! could man up and "ace the conse6uences ! turned to'ards the elevator, #ut noticed that ! hadnVt "ully shut ,u (iVs apartment door ! also soon reali)ed that her door didnVt automatically lock on its o'n 'hen it closed 'hich 'as not $ood "or me ! had t'o choices: 2+ Stay until she 'akes up to make sure that no one actually comes and kidnaps her, or B + 3eave and pray to <od that no one kidnaps her !" ! picked option 2, that 'as ;ust askin$ "or an a'k'ard turtle moment Llus, ! donVt even think ! could "ace her, ri$ht no' But choice 2 is 'hat a nice and carin$ $uy 'ould do Option B is very attractive #ecause thereVs no "ace to "ace interaction and ! can ;ust pretend this situation never happened But, leavin$ an apartment unlocked 'hile a /I year old $irl is home alone is ;ust ;ackass 'ritten all over it 2t this moment, ! really 'anted to shake my "ist at someone `iaupstairs`Mia Someone 'as really testin$ me today YDmma, ! have to $oA =ance practice isnVt $oin$ to 'ait "or meAY ! looked to'ards the ri$ht and ! s'ear it 'as as i" <od had heard my ima$inary prayers 2 #oy no older than /K 'alked out o" his door, three doors do'n "rom ,u (iVs His haircut 'as similar to that o" 9i ,on$Vs a "e' months a$o !t looked stran$ely like a mushroom? a #i$, "at mushroom He 'ore #ri$ht violet skinny ;eans and had a lar$e $ym #a$ over his shoulder He looked a$itated and a sco'l 'as set "irmly on his "ace 2t "irst, ! 'as hesitant to ask him, #ut ! "i$ured ! really didnVt have much to lose YHey kidAY ! hollered at him He stopped in his steps and $ave me a look over Y! do have a name, you kno' Y He pointed to'ards his $ym #a$ and in #i$ #lock letters 'ere the 'ords &2E E!5 YOh, okay, &ae Ein,Y ! nodded Y! need a "avour ! 'ill $ive you /P PPP .O5 i" you sit #y this door until you hear the door lock and donVt ask me any 6uestions as to 'hy youVre doin$ it Y He looked skeptically at me Y&hat is a 'eird re6uest ! have dance practice, #ut i" you make it QP PPP .O5, 'e have a deal ! need QP PPP more to #uy le$ 'armers and ti$hts "or dance Y &his kid ran a hard #ar$ain, #ut ! $uess ! had to i" ! didnVt 'ant to see ,u (i #ein$ sold to the #lack market ! took out my 'allet and handed him the money YOkay, "ine But donVt leave until you hear a clear lockin$ o" the door, okay1Y &ae Ein nodded and then took another look at my 'allet Y2ctually, make it KP PPP .O5,Y he said 'ith a smu$ $rin ! pulled #ack my hand and narro'ed my eyes at the kid .ho did he think he 'as1 Y5o 'ay, 'e a$reed to QP PPP, Y ! told him "irmly &ae Ein shru$$ed and started to 'alk to'ards the elevator YOkay, "ine, you can "ind some other kid then, #ut Ein H'an is out at a cookin$ class and there arenVt any other kids on this "loor, so youVreFFY Y-!5E Y ! pulled him #ack and shoved the money at him, and pulled out another /P PPP .O5 YCids these days,Y ! murmured

&ae Ein only $ave me that smu$ smile, once a$ain Y=onVt leave until you distinctly hear it lockAY ! 'arned him a$ain, 'hen he 'as "inally settled into his position He nodded and #e$an to recount the money ! $ave him ! shook my head at mysel", as ! 'alked to'ards the elevator <reat &ae ,an$, not only are you a creeper and a $rade 2 idiot, you are no' KP PPP .O5 poorer !Vm startin$ to think #ein$ a $entleman isnVt all that itVs cracked up to #e

___
5ice $uys al'ays "inish last !tVs a mantra that !Vve #ecome used to 3ook 'hat #ein$ a nice $uy has $otten me1 5othin$ 2#solutely nothin$ !" anythin$, #ein$ a nice $uy makes you lose thin$s such as sanity, $irls, and KP PPP .O5 YHey, Hon$ Ci 'as ;ust leavin$ and he told me you had a date toni$ht1Y ! looked a'ay "rom the no' cold co""ee in "ront o" me and no' to'ards 3inda ! scrunched my nose at her statement Ho' did Hon$ Ci evenFF! donVt even kno', everyone is too nosy these days Y,eah, #ut ! think ! mi$ht #reak it Y ! ;ust didnVt kno' i" it 'as 'orth it or not Sure, !Vve liked ,u (i "or a very lon$ time, #ut ! play the nice $uyFFthe $entleman <oin$ on a date 'ith your #est "riendVs exF$irl"riend does not "it the cate$ory o" a $entleman !tVs $one completely #eyond the cate$ory 3indaVs "ace 6uickly darkened Y.H2&1 .H,1Y Y! donVt kno', itVs complicated and !Vm not one "or complicated thin$s,Y ! told her coolly, as ! stood up to put the cold co""ee a'ay She "ollo'ed me to the sink and tried to say in a calm voice, Y2ll relationships are complicated Y ! a#ruptly turned around to "ace her, almost knockin$ her do'n Y2h, sorry,Y ! held her shoulders so that she could #alance hersel" YBut, this is especially complicated !tVs too complicated Y She narro'ed her eyes at me and tilted her head to the side YSounds like youVre the one makin$ it complicated,Y she reasoned Y,ouVre a nice $uy, &ae ,an$, #ut sometimes, you play the $entleman card too much Y ! $ripped the cup ti$htly in my hands Y.ell, i" ! donVt, 'ho 'ill1 Llus, youVve only kno'n me "or a 'eek, ho' do you kno' all this1Y ! turned #ack around and turned on the tap to 'ash the cup Y!tVs ;ust too complicated, okay1Y

Y2nd, ! told you that all relationships are complicatedA Hon$ Ci told me that youVve never had a real one, #ut !Vm ;ust tellin$ you no' that youVre never $oin$ to #e in a relationship i" you think theyVre all simple and colourF#yFnum#er Y ! t'isted my upper #ody around to $ive her a con"used look YColour #y num#er1Y She nodded ea$erly at me Y,eahA (elationships are anythin$ #ut a color #y num#er #ookAY Oh, my $od Here 'e $o 'ith the metaphors ! should introduce her to 9i ,on$, ! think they 'ould $et alon$ $reat Y&he #ook tells you 'hat to do? 'hat colours to use? and 'here to colour &hey $ive you step #y step directions and itVs predicta#le,Y she paused to see i" ! understood her .ell, ! didnVt, #ut ! nodded, any'ays Y(elationships are the opposite ,ou never kno' 'hatVs $oin$ to happen next ,ou donVt kno' 'hat youVre $oin$ to do Everythin$ is ;ust completely unpredicta#le and all over the place Every sin$le relationship is $oin$ to #e like that Y ! turned my #ack on 3inda a$ain, ;ust so that she 'ouldnVt #e a#le to see my "ace !" she did, she 'ould pro#a#ly look smu$ a#out #ein$ ri$ht She had a really $ood point, #ut ! didnVt 'ant her to kno' that Oh, relationships, 'hy couldnVt you #e as simple as a colour #y num#er colourin$ #ook1 ! looked over my shoulder at her and sa' that a smirk 'as set in place ! donVt think !Vll ever #e a#le to understand $irls Ho' they kno' ho' you "eel 'hen youVre not even lookin$ at them, !Vll never "ind out ! "inished up 'ashin$ the cup, kno'in$ all too 'ell that 3inda 'as still standin$ #ehind me 'aitin$ "or a response 2 response that included me sayin$ that she 'as ri$ht and ! 'as 'ron$, to #e exact ! may #e a $entleman, #ut !Vm also very stu##orn YHave "un on your date,Y ! said 'ith a smile a"ter turnin$ around 3ike ! 'as $oin$ to admit that she 'as ri$ht SheVs only #een here "or a 'eek and ! canVt have her thinkin$ that she kno's me throu$h and throu$h She looked like she 'as a#out to say somethin$ mean, #ut her eyes dri"ted to'ards the clock #ehind me and instead, her expression turned to one o" surprise Y2ish, !Vm lateAY She 6uickly $ra##ed her #a$ on the ta#le and rushed to'ards the door, #ut not #e"ore yellin$ out, Y,ou kno' !Vm ri$ht, =on$ &ae ,an$AY ! couldnVt help #ut smile at her exit &he thin$ is, she is ri$ht Eay#e, it 'as time ! stopped playin$ the $entleman role Eay#e

Chapter &hirteen, Lart &'o

Sketch 'as 'ritten all over this place SFCFEF&FCFH ! had to 'onder ;ust 'here =on$ &ae ,an$ 'as takin$ me .e 'ere in 9ulia and he 'as drivin$ alon$ this deserted country lane in total silence ! had #een pesterin$ him as to 'here 'e 'ere $oin$, #ut heVd ;ust smile and say, V,ouVll seeV 2"ter "i"teen minutes and still no clear ans'er, ! $ave up and 'e settled into a com"orta#le silence &he road 'as completely unpaved and consisted o" rocks, sno' and dirt 'hich ;ust

added on to the sketchiness #ecause 'ho kno's 'here this trail led to 3ookin$ onto the distance, you couldnVt even see 'here the lane ended? it ;ust kept $oin$ on and on and on &here 'ere no houses, street li$hts or any si$n o" civili)ation !t 'as ;ust very sketch "or lack o" #etter 'ordin$ ! turned a'ay "rom the endless amounts o" shru##ery and trees 'e 'ere passin$ and $ave &ae ,an$ a skeptical look He 'as lookin$ directly ahead o" him 'ith a small $rin on his "ace ! couldnVt help #ut #e paranoid !tVs 'hat ! doA ! may have kno'n &ae ,an$ "or a couple o" years no', #ut people can chan$e !tVs al'ays the 6uiet ones that end up kidnappin$ youn$ children, and "orcin$ them into lives o" crime 'here they sell Chanel, 2pple (epu#lic and Cior to unsuspectin$ yuppies and house'ives Laranoid, insane, random, psycho: these are ;ust a "e' o" the 'ords that descri#e Cim ,u (i &he silence 'as losin$ its com"ort and instead 'as #ecomin$ unnervin$ Y&ae ,an$, can !, at least, have a clue1 &his is killin$ me here Y Clearly, ! cannot handle surprises #ecause ! have no sense o" patience, 'hatsoever He 6uickly $lanced over at me and his "ace #roke into a #i$$er smile and his eyes ;ust completely disappeared YOkay, since youVre so impatient !tVs somethin$ youVve 'anted to do "or a really lon$ time Y ! 'rinkled my nose at his ans'er .hat the hell did ! 'ant to do "or a very lon$ time that included an a#andoned road path that most likely housed several dan$erous $an$ and dru$ related activities1 ! couldnVt think o" anythin$ that 'ould involve a sketchy car ride into the country, at all Y! 'ant to do a lot o" thin$s, #ut it, de"initely, does not include ridin$ o"" to the ed$e o" Corea and possi#ly dyin$,Y ! murmured &his paranoia is $oin$ to #e the end o" me one day &ae ,an$ lau$hed at my response 2 lo', deep, masculine lau$h that should have made my heart explode or my head di))y, #ut it didnVt Y=onVt 'orry, !Vm not drivin$ you o"" to your death or sellin$ you to the #lack market Y He $ave me another reassurin$ smile &hatVs his ans'er to everythin$: smile Y,ouVre sa"e 'ith me Y &hose last "our 'ords he said shouldVve made hearts pop out o" my eyes, or at least have me si$hin$ like some preFteen "an$irl Heart, do somethin$ ,ouVre supposed to explode "rom happiness, ri$ht no' .hy are you not explodin$1 !n "act, 'hy are you #eatin$ so per"ectly calm1 2renVt you supposed to #e $oin$ at least 7PP #eats a minute at a time like this1 ! looked a'ay "rom &ae ,an$ FF some'hat satis"ied 'ith his ans'er FF and turned #ack to'ards the 'indo' ! ti$htened the knitted scar" around my neck and settled my $a)e on the heavily "orested scenery Ey $a)e 'as on the trees, #ut my thou$hts 'ere on everythin$ #ut that ! still couldnVt help #ut 'onder i" he remem#ered anythin$ "rom that ni$ht &hat ni$ht as in 'hen he came stum#lin$ into my apartment drunk, and pro"essin$ his $reat like to'ards me !t didnVt seem like he remem#ered #ecause the &ae ,an$ ! kne' 'ould have #een #lushin$, stutterin$, avoidin$ me and clearly not in a car drivin$ me to $od kno's 'here 'ith that silly smile on his "ace 5o, i" he had remem#ered, 'e 'ould not #e in this situation, ri$ht no' ! 'ondered i" he kne' this 'as a date1 Or i" it 'as ;ust t'o "riends han$in$ out to$ether1 Eay#e, ! should ;ust

ask him no' i" he remem#ered that ni$ht or i" he 'as ;ust repressin$ everythin$ or may#e he does remem#er and heVs also takin$ a leap like ! am and ;ust doesnVt 'ant toFF Y2lri$ht, 'eVre hereAY 2midst my insane mind talkin$, the car had stopped and 'e "ound ourselves parked #eside a hu$e, sin$le tree &he strip o" "orestry that 'e drove #eside "or the past hal" hour had completely disappeared and $ave 'ay to the si$ht o" a lar$e ice laden river =irectly on our le"t 'as a massive mountain 'ith sturdy steps on the side $uided #y small lanterns ,eah, ! de"initely do not remem#er 'antin$ to do anythin$ that involves mountains and ice !n "act, ! donVt 'ant to do anythin$ outdoorsFrelated Breath o" "resh air, my ass !Vd like to stay inside all co)y and 'arm, any day, thank you &ae ,an$ turned o"" the i$nition and motioned "or us to $et out YSo, 'hat are 'e doin$1Y ! asked curiously, as ! stood #eside him outside o" 9ulia He tilted his head to'ards the mountain and pointed up'ards Y.eVre $oin$ up Y He 'as kiddin$, ri$ht1 Or, not His "ace is 6uite serious Y.haaaat1 .eVre $oin$ to clim# a "reakin$ mountain1Y ! 'as in total dis#elie" &his is de"initely somethin$ ! did not 'ant to do ! 'ondered i" &ae ,an$ had me mistaken "or another $irl1 Lossi#ly another $irl named ,u (i1 ,u (i is 6uite a popular name, a"ter all But, &ae ,an$ doesnVt even $o out 'ith other $irls, so 'here in the 'orld did he $et this cra)y idea that !, Cim ,u (i, the la)iest person on earth, 'anted to clim# a mountain1 He $rinned at me a$ain Y5o, thereVs steps,Y he said it as i" it 'as the most normal thin$ in the 'orld 2s i", takin$ $irls on dates to mountains so that they could clim# up them 'as seen as a re$ular idea o" a date He $estured "or me to "ollo' him Y3etVs head up Y ! 'as a #it hesitant #ecause 'ell, to #e honest, ! 'as terri"ied o" hei$hts Eountains, #rid$es, airplanes FF ;ust no ! like to stand on solid, "irm $round &ae ,an$ 'as really testin$ me today &hank $od, ! chose to 'ear sneakers and not pointy toed #lack heels as Seun$ (i had su$$ested Y,ouVre so slo'AY he called out ahead o" me He 'as already at the second landin$ and ! 'as still on $ood olV solid, dirt $round !Vm sorry i" ! donVt 'ant to clim# up a mountain and "all to my u$ly and "ast death &ae ,an$ must have sensed my "ear #ecause he retraced his steps and came #ack do'n Y2re you okay1Y he asked in a concerned tone 5o, no, no Y,eahA !Vm $ood !tVs ;ust that these shoes are ;ust um, yeah, letVs ;ust $et up thereAY ! tried to say in a convincin$ happy tone ! didnVt 'ant him to kno' o" my insane "ear o" hei$hts and plus, he looked so happy in the car and ! didnVt 'ant to ruin everythin$

2$ain, he $ave me that apprehensive look, as i" he 'as de#atin$ 'hether or not he should still #rin$ me to'ards the mountain Y&rust me, !Vm "ineAY ,eah, as "ine as a person 'alkin$ to'ards death can ever #e .hy 'as ! so ea$er to please1 &ae ,an$ $ave me one last look and nodded He took the lead in $oin$ up the steps a$ain 'hile ! slo'ly "ollo'ed #ehind ! re"used to look any'here #ut my "eet as 'e 'ent up !" ! looked any'here else, ! 'as positive that ! 'ould either cry, "ree)e or "all to my death ! 'as holdin$ the railin$ "or dear li"e !t seemed as i" the hi$her 'e $ot, the ti$hter my $rip on the 'ooden railin$ 'as ! think &ae ,an$ needs to #e schooled in the art o" pickin$ date locations 3esson one: 5ever pick a place 'here your date could possi#ly plummet to her death and die 3esson t'o: Lick somethin$ she actually 'ants to do and is not terri"ied o" YHey, ,u (i1Y ! re"use to look at you, &ae ,an$ Y,eah1Y Y2re you okay1Y Ey sneakers are $ettin$ really dirty, may#e itVs time ! #uy a ne' pair YO" courseAY Y&hen 'hy are you ;ust starin$ at your shoes1Y Dm Y! 'ant to #e surprised as to 'here youVre takin$ me to1Y 5ice, ,u (iA 2nd no, your inner sel" is not #ein$ sarcastic Y Okay, 'ell one more landin$ and 'eVll #e there Y

One more landin$ #e"ore ! pass out "rom my anxiety and stress YSounds $reatAY ! 'as literally cra'lin$ up these steps ! had #oth hands on the railin$ and ! 'as $oin$ at a turtleVs rate ! couldnVt help #ut "eel a #it annoyed that &ae ,an$ couldnVt #latantly see my stru$$les Okay, 'ell he did, #ut he still let me clim# this mountainA Eay#e !Vm expectin$ too much "rom him 2"ter all, #oys canVt read minds, #ut he should have seen the si$ns o" meFF Y2lri$ht, you can look up "rom your shoes, no'i Y ! heard &ae ,an$ call out ahead o" me ! could hear the smirk in his voice Bastard 'as pro#a#ly en;oyin$ seein$ me su""er #ecause heVs ;ust masochistic like that .hat the hell are you thinkin$, ,u (i1 2ll this "ear has $otten to your head, clearly ! still had a lot more steps to $o, and there 'as no 'ay ! 'as $oin$ to #e lookin$ up until ! 'as standin$ ri$ht #eside him !" ! 'as $oin$ to plummet do'n 4PP "eet "rom the air, 'ell, he 'as comin$ 'ith me ! 'as #e$innin$ to think that ! shouldVve said somethin$ 'hen 'e 'ere on solid $round Oh, ho' ! miss you hard, sta#le land Sure, ! 'ouldVve ruined the date, #ut at least ! 'ouldnVt #e deliriously terri"ied !s this #ein$ sel"ish1 ! "inally sa' &ae ,an$Vs #ri$ht $reen sneakers ;ust a meter ahead o" me

Y2re you sure youVre okay1Y He sounded so concerned ! $ave him a thum#s up, still lookin$ do'n at my shoes Y,ou can look up !tVs a really nice vie' and the surprise is ri$ht in "ront o" us Y 5o, itVs okay, !Vm 6uite content 'ith the vie' o" my dirty and old sneakers .ell, thatVs 'hat ! 'anted to say, #ut ! kept it to mysel" Okay, letVs slo'ly look up "rom his #ri$ht $reen shoes .hy are they so #ri$ht1 .ho 'ears shoes like these1 5o', ! see his sli$htly #a$$y ;eans !Vm $lad he doesnVt 'ear those super, skin ti$ht ;eans that are all the ra$e these days HeVd look shorter than he already does and it 'ould pro#a#ly 'iden his hips Okay, too much time spent 'ith Seun$ (i (i$ht, no' !Vm lookin$ at his area, and ! need to 6uickly look up ri$ht a#out no' His coat is really #i$ and pu""y, and no' ! see his mouth and itVs 6uirked up and oh, his nose is nice and okay, !Vm lookin$ at his eyes, 'ell not really #ecause heVs smillin$ as usual, and you canVt really see his eyes 5o' ! 'ill look #ehind him and FF oh,my $od OH E, -(E2C!5< <O= Y,OD .25& EE &O 9DEL O-- 2 B(!=<E1Y ! yelled out 'hen ! reali)ed ;ust 'here 'e 'ere He 'ants me to ;ump O"" a #rid$e &o my death =ammit, ! kne' somethin$ 'as suspiciousA &ae ,an$ looked taken #ack at my sudden out#urst Y! thou$ht you al'ays 'anted to $o #un$ee ;umpin$1Y ! sputtered a "e' 'ords #ut nothin$ really made sense and ! ;ust shouted out, Y!VE &E((!-!E= O- HE!<H&S1Y He narro'ed his eyes at me and $ave me the most con"used expression YBut, you al'ays 'ant to $o on that #un$ee ;umpin$ thin$ at the park, all the time Y Y! 3!E=A ! 'as ;ust pretendin$ to 'ant to $o on it #ecause ! kno' you $uys are complete chickens and ! 'anted to seem #raveAY ! peered over the ed$e and 6uickly looked a'ay !t 'as a very, very, TE(, lon$ 'ay do'n &he steps on the mountain had stopped and had led to a lon$ 'ooden #rid$e that 'as directly over the river #elo' us =ue to my ridiculous "ear and my ;ust lookin$ do'n at my shoes and no 'here else, ! had ne$lected to look up to see the #rid$e that 'as over me 2nd no', ! 'as supposed to ;ump do'n !n the middle o" the #rid$e 'ere lar$e pieces o" e6uipment and several people that 'ould #e assistin$ in my death !Vm not even exa$$eratin$A .hy 'ould you 'ant to ;ump do'n "rom a #rid$e 'ith only a sin$le piece o" rope separatin$ you "rom "allin$ head "irst into the cold, hard $round1 Y.ho lies a#out somethin$ as little as that1Y He still sounded completely surprised Dh, me, o#viously Y! donVt kno'A 2t the time, it seemed likeFFY Y!s this the special $irl youVve #een ravin$ a#out, &ae ,an$1Y ! turned my head to'ards the sound o" the voice and sa' an old a;uhsshi 'alkin$ to'ards us 'ith several pieces o" e6uipment in his hands He looked extremely happy and excited to see

the #oth o" us ! $lanced to'ards &ae ,an$ to see his reaction and reali)ed he 'as #lushin$ at the comment 2t least, he had the courtesy to look em#arrassed Y.ell, no, not exactlyFFY YShe looks #rave, tooAY &he old man looked me up and do'n as i" he 'as si)in$ me up Y!tVs al'ays the small ones that have the most coura$eAY Okay, ! had to interrupt him no' #e"ore he actually thou$ht ! 'as $oin$ to $o throu$h 'ith this Y2ctually, !Vm not $oin$ toFFY Y!Vve al'ays admired people 'ho $o throu$h 'ith #un$ee ;umpin$ !t sho's that they have coura$e and arenVt a"raid o" little thin$s,Y he said to me proudly Oh, no oneVs really called me coura$eous #e"ore Y2nd youVre as cute as a #uttonAY he tapped my nose #rie"ly #e"ore lau$hin$ out loud -lattery 'ill $et you every'here !ncludin$ my very o'n one 'ay ticket to death YSo, shall 'e $et you set up1Y the old man asked 'ith his dimpled smile Ho' am ! supposed to say no to that1 Y&ae ,an$ told me ho' excited you 'ere "or thisAY ! canVt #elieve youVre doin$ this, ,u (i Y,eah, sure, lead the 'ay Y ! C25V& BE3!ETE ! S2!= &H2& .hat are you doin$1 .hat the hell are you doin$1 .hy do you su#mit to every thin$ 'hen the sli$htest si$n o" "lattery is present1 &he old a;uhsshi clapped his hands in $lee and motioned "or us to "ollo' him to'ards the middle o" the #rid$e .hen he turned his #ack on us, &ae ,an$ cau$ht my arm and pulled me to'ards him Y.hat are you doin$1 ! thou$ht you didnVt 'ant to do this ,ouVre a"raid o" hei$htsAY he said in a 'hisper so that the cre' 'ouldnVt hear us ! shru$$ed and crin$ed sli$htly YHe 'as too niceAY &ae ,an$ rolled his eyes at me, #ut didnVt let $o o" me YSeriously1 He 'as too nice1Y He seemed in more shock than ! 'as Y.ell, 'e drove hal" an hour, already, so 'e mi$ht as 'ell1Y ! ar$ued <od, ! couldnVt #elieve ! 'as sayin$ this &'o minutes a$o, ! 'as on the ver$e o" havin$ a panic attack and no' ! 'as 'illin$ly 'alkin$ into deathVs open arms YBut, you are scared o" hei$hts and ;ust t'o minutes a$o you 'ere ready to run do'n those steps and drive o"" 'ith 9ulia to 'ho kno's 'here #ecause you have no sense o" #earin$s, 'hatsoever Y Huh, thanks, &ae ,an$ ,ou mana$ed to make me look cra)y and dum# in the same statement 2lthou$h, ! should #e used to these types o" statements #y no' ! pulled a'ay "rom his $rasp and took a tentative step "or'ard a$ain to look do'n ,eah, still a lon$ 'ay do'n Extremely lon$ But then ! looked to the ri$ht and sa' the old a;uhsshi 'avin$ at us 'ith those lon$, 'rinkly arms o" his ,ou canVt say no to an old a;uhsshiA 3ook at his armsA

Okay, #ad excuse, #ut i" 'e told him 'e had chan$ed our minds, heVd #e devastated He seems to #e the poor country #umpkin type, too .ell, a country #umpkin that o'ns a #un$ee ;umpin$ #usiness in the city1 He seems very homely and i" 'e said no, it 'ould devastate him and then he 'ould have to $ive #ack the money that &ae ,an$ $ave him Since heVs a country #umpkin and #un$ee ;umpin$ isnVt very popular in the 'inter time, that money couldVve #een his "ood money or charcoal money "or the rest o" the 'inter season So really, i" ! said no to this #un$ee ;umpin$ deal, 'e mi$ht as 'ell ;ust kill the old a;uhsshi 3iterally ! took a deep #reathe and turned to "ace &ae ,an$ ! 'as tempted to tell him my train o" thou$ht, #ut ! had a "eelin$ it 'ould come out completely 'ron$ and cra)yFlike 5o matter ho' much sense my thou$hts make in my head, they never sound the same 'hen ! say them out loud Y! ;ust had a sudden chan$e o" heart,Y ! told him calmly Y2nd 'ell, ! $uess ! donVt kno', letVs ;ust $oAY ! reached out my hand and pulled on his lar$e, #lack, marshmallo'Flike ;acket, #ut he didnVt #ud$e ! turned to $ive him a 6uestionin$ look and he $ave me one ri$ht #ack Y&ae ,an$A !Vm "ineA (eallyAY Llus, 'e have to do this i" 'e 'ant the old a;uhsshi to survive throu$h this cold 'inter He narro'ed his eyes at me in concern Y,u (i, itVs o#vious that you donVtFFY Y&ae ,an$A .e drove thirty six thousand hours here and i" 'e donVt ;ump o"" that #rid$e, that old a;uhsshi is $oin$ to starve and die o" pneumonia #ecause he couldnVt pay "or his charcoal, okay1Y =amn &hou$hts came out cra)yFlike, a$ainA &here has to #e one day 'hen my 'ords 'ill come out all "lo'ery and per"ect !t ;ust isnVt $oin$ to #e today Y! you Y He paused "or a moment and then ;ust shook his head Y5ever mind, i" you really, actually 'ant to do this #ecause o" your incredi#ly sudden chan$e o" heart, then at leastFF! donVt kno'FF! "eel like !Vm "orcin$ you into this, #ut let me #uy you $reen tea ice cream a"ter1Y ! almost 'anted to lau$h out loud =id he think that ! 'as a "ive year old that 'ould ;ump at the utterance o" ice cream1 =id he think that these "eelin$s o" anxiety and stress 'ould $o a'ay ;ust #ecause he mentioned the 'ord $reen tea and ice cream to$ether1 .ell, he 'as ri$ht YOkayAY ,ou are such a sad, sad human #ein$, ,u (i .ell, the "eelin$s o" anxiety didnVt completely 'ash a'ay, #ut the thou$ht o" havin$ ice cream a"ter escapin$ death did com"ort me, dearly Y,ahA &he sun isnVt $oin$ to 'ait "or you, "oreverA !tVs $oin$ to $et dark, soonAY .e #oth turned to see a rather lar$e man yellin$ at us "rom 'here the old a;uhsshi and several other men 'ere settin$ up the ropes ! looked up to'ards the sky and sa' that the sun 'as still #la)in$ in the hori)on &he sun 'ouldnVt #e settin$ "or at least another t'o hours ,eesh, such la)y 'orkers YHonestly thou$h, i" youVre so too "reaked out at any timeFFY Y&ae ,an$A 9ust #reathe, okay1 (i$ht, no' you seem more scared than ! am Y ! tried to reassure him as 'e #e$an our 'alk to the middle o" the #rid$e ! 'ould #e "ine &his is ;ust all

part o" the #i$ leap and $ettin$ over the pain o" seashells on my "eet ,eah Y&?m more scared1Y He seemed a #it shocked at my statement He 'as the one that 'as #ein$ all "ussy a#out every thin$ Okay, 'ell, he 'as #ein$ "ussy a#out me, #ut that could easily #e #ecause he 'as tryin$ to dis$uise his o'n "ear o" ;umpin$ o"" a #rid$e #y 6uestionin$ my sudden chan$e o" heart a#out the 'hole situation So may#e i" he thou$ht that ! i" ! #acked out o" this, then he 'ouldnVt have to #e the one to #ecause that 'ould make him look less manly But then a$ain, i" that 'as the case, 'hy 'ould he have $one throu$h all this trou#le to set up this #un$ee ;umpin$ event in the middle o" no 'here 'ith an old country #umpkin1 Cim ,u (i Stop thinkin$ !t only does you more harm than $ood Y,es, more scared than ! am Y Y(i$ht, i" !Vm more scared than you, then 'hy are you still starin$ at the $round 'hile 'alkin$1Y =amn .hy 'as ! on a date 'ith one o" those o#servant types o" #oys? they notice every thin$ Y5ever mind thatAY ! 'aved a hand at him in disre$ard 'hile still keepin$ my vie' directly on my shoes ! heard him lau$h at me and his shado' moved to #e directly #eside me Y! donVt $et 'hy you still lied a#out 'antin$ to $o #un$ee ;umpin$ 'hen youVre clearly deathly a"raid o" hei$hts Y !Vm startin$ to 'onder 'hy, too !t had sounded like a $ood idea in my head, at the time Cey 'ord: at the time Y! donVt kno' Y ! still kept my head do'n as 'e continued 'alkin$ Y! $uess ! ;ust 'anted to make "un o" 9i ,on$ #ecause he 'as so terri"ied o" the rope cuttin$ loose and Y ! trailed o"", 6uickly noticin$ 'hat ! 'as sayin$ -or the "irst time since ! stepped "oot on this #rid$e, ! looked up "rom the $round and came "ace to "ace *'ell, "ace to chin? ! am 6uite short+ 'ith &ae ,an$Vs "ace !t 'as unreada#le #ut ! could sense a "eelin$ o" discom"ort radiatin$ "rom him .ell duh, ,u (i, he is his #est "riend and your exF#oy"riend and yeah, you "ail at the art o" date conversations (ules o" the datin$ $ame: /+ 5ever make yoursel" look stupid #y talkin$ a#out em#arrassin$ moments such as the time you told a particularly $ood lookin$ #oy that today 'as the 4P0th day 'hen it 'as actually the 0th, and 4+ 5ever talk a#out an old #oy"riend? especially i" the old #oy"riend is his #est "riend Bein$ me, ! tried to lau$h it o"" YHahaha, did ! actually sayFFY Y,ahA 3etVs $et $oin$AY &he #oth o" us looked a'ay "rom one another and instead our "ocus 'as on the old a;uhsshi ;ust a "e' "eet a'ay "rom us ! also "inally reali)ed that ! 'as in the middle o" a ridiculously hi$h #rid$e and ! 'as de"initely not on solid $round !n "act, ! 'as at least 4PP "eet up in the air on some pieces o" 'ood that could potentially #reak apart 'hich 'ould lead to the #rid$e collapsin$ and my dyin$ Okay, 'hy did ! a$ree to this a$ain1 YOh, hohohoAY the old a;uhsshi chuckled Y,u (i, you look a #it scaredA =onVt #ack out, no'A Everyone $oes throu$h this 'hen they "inally $et to the middle o" the #rid$e Y He placed a hand on my shoulder and started leadin$ me to'ards a pile o" e6uipment ! 'as startin$ to "eel a tiny #it nauseous !tVs all part o" the leap, ,u (i 2ll part o" the leap Y.eVre $oin$ to strap you into a #ody harness,Y he suddenly paused to $ive me a 6uestionin$

look, Yunless you donVt 'ant the #ody harness and you ;ust 'ant to use the ankle cord attachment Y ! didnVt kno' 'hether to lau$h or cry -ull #ody harness versus a sin$le cord attached to ;ust my ankle .hat a hard decision YHahaha, ! donVt really "eel like lookin$ #raver than &ae ,an$ today, so ! think !Vll $o 'ith the #ody harness Y ! said 'ith a 'innin$ smile, all too a'are that &ae ,an$ 'as ri$ht #ehind me He came up to stand #eside the old a;uhsshi in "ront o" me YOh, noA ,u (iA ! 'ould never 'ant you to sacri"ice 'hat you really 'ant to do "or my o'n sakeAY He had on the most deceit"ul $rin ! had ever seen in my li"e ! narro'ed my eyes at him .hat did he think he 'as doin$1 Y&rust me, !Vm not sacri"icin$ anythin$, &ae ,an$ Y ! 'as tryin$ really hard to keep up this cheery "acade in "ront o" the a;uhsshi, ! really 'as Y,u (i, ! insist !" you 'ant to $oFFY Y&ae ,an$, donVt 'orry, !Vm per"ectly okay 'ith a #ody harness Y ! smiled throu$h my $ritted teeth and hoped that he 'ould ;ust shut up #e"ore ! actually had to ;ump o"" 'ith ;ust a cord tied to my ankles Y!tVs okay ,ou 'ouldnVt have #een a#le to do it, any'ays &he ankle cord is too "rayed to use, so youVre #oth $oin$ to have to use the #ody harness today,Y the old a;uhsshi interrupted, holdin$ the dama$ed cord in one hand ! mentally si$hed in relie", #ut not #e"ore $larin$ at &ae ,an$ Okay, yeah, so 'hat i" ! had started it1 !" it 'erenVt "or that #roken piece o" cord, !Vd ;ust #e 'earin$ a helmet and a little loop around my ankle #e"ore "allin$ a million "eet, head "irst into ice !nstead !Vd #e 'earin$ a helmet, a cord, a #ody harness and then ! 'ould #e "allin$ a million "eet, head "irst into ice .ait, 'hy am ! doin$ this a$ain1 Y,u (i, letVs $o over there to $et you set up Y (i$ht, so that this old a;uhsshi 'onVt die o" hypothermia in the 'inter 9ust think o" the charcoals heVs $oin$ to $et #ecause o" my ;umpin$ o"" a #rid$e ,ouVre savin$ a li"e, ,u (i &he old a;uhsshi $uided me to'ards the e6uipment and $iant crane in the middle o" the #rid$e, leavin$ &ae ,an$ #ehind so that he could reali)e ;ust ho' "ar do'n the ;ump 'as He $ave me a red helmet to strap on and then re$arded me 'ith a thou$ht"ul expression Y=o you kno' 'hy many people $o #un$ee ;umpin$1Y YBecause theyVre certi"ia#ly insane and #elon$ in 'hite padded rooms1Y ! asked anxiously as ! snapped the helmet on He chuckled in response and placed the #ody harness on me Y5o, they 'ant to "or$et &hey 'ant to thro' a'ay the past and ;ump into somethin$ ne' Y ! #linked -or$et1 -or$et 'hat1

Y&hey ;ump, they "or$et, they come #ack up and they start all over a$ain,Y he told me 6uietly, as i" he had read my mind He "inished snappin$ to$ether the ropes around me and then reached over "or the cord attached to the crane YEany are adrenaline ;unkies, #ut a ma;ority o" people 'ho come and ;ump, are tryin$ to "or$et somethin$ &hey think that they can ;ust ;ump and everythin$ 'ill #e okay, in the end Y He #uckled the last strap around my 'aist, and ! 'aited "or him to continue He stepped #ack to $ive me a look over Y,our pro#lems donVt ma$ically disappear a"ter you ;ump, #ut it helps Y Huh ! never thou$ht o" it that 'ay Y=o you have anythin$ to "or$et1Y he asked me 'ith a curious smile =id ! have anythin$ to "or$et1 .ell, ! donVt kno', ho' a#out the last t'o months1 !Vd like to "or$et those 9ust completely 'ipe my descent into madness out o" my mind, please YDrm, 'ell, noA O" course, 'ell, actually, may#eFFY Y!tVs a really lon$ 'ay do'n Y &ae ,an$ suddenly appeared #eside us 'ith his hands stuck in his pockets and a some'hat 'orried expression painted on his "ace YHahahaA ,ou think1Y ! loudly replied Eay#e, it 'as a #it too loud ! 'as actually relieved "or &ae ,an$Vs timin$, #ecause ! didnVt exactly 'ant to explain my situation o" 0PP cupcakes, #ad rhymin$ exF#oy"riends, and leaps ! donVt 'ant to sound insane in "ront o" this kind old a;uhsshi He has ;ust met he, he doesnVt have to kno' the truth a#out me, ;ust yet Y=onVt even think a#out #ackin$ outA !" !Vm ;umpin$,Y ! poked him on the shoulder 'ith a "in$er, Yso are you Y &ae ,an$ held up his hands in mock surrender and chuckled Y=onVt 'orry !" you $o throu$h it and ! donVt, 'hatVs that $oin$ to say a#out my reputation1Y Be"ore ! could really retaliate, the old a;ushhi interrupted us YOkay, enou$h o" this #anterAY He pointed at me and then out to'ards the open air Y,u (i, youVre already strapped up, are you mentally ready to do this1Y Eentally ready1 .hat the hell1 He talks like this is $oin$ to do some permanent dama$e to my #rain .ell, ! think it already has Y! $uess so Y ! nodded meekly Y,ouVll #e "ine, donVt 'orry Y &ae ,an$ tried to reassure me 'ith that allFpurpose smile o" his His response "or every situation is to smile: Oh, you $ot a IP on that essay1 Smile Oh, your pet $old"ish $ot accidentally "lushed do'n the toilet1 Smile ! #it #ack a sarcastic remark and instead looked "or the piece o" e6uipment ! 'as supposed to clim# up on and then ;ump do'n "rom, #ut ! didnVt see that 2ll ! sa' 'as that crane and ho' it 'as attached to the cord that 'as also attached to my #ody &hen it suddenly occured to me 'hat ! 'as supposed to do Y.ait, !Vm not $oin$ to #e on some machinery or anythin$1 ,ouVre $oin$ to make me clim# over and ;ump on my o'n1Y 5o 'ay, ;ust no 'ay &he old a;ushhi #linked Y&hatVs ho' itVs usually done Y YOh, my,Y ! said to mysel" ! looked over the ed$e "or the "i"th time and #ack to'ards the a;uhsshi and then over the railin$, a$ain &his 'as mind #lo'in$ly scary !t 'as one thin$ to $et up on top o" a crane plat"orm and ;ump, #ut "or me to climb over the railin$ and "all 'ell, thatVs scary

sh it, ri$ht there Y.eVll count you do'n, okay1Y ! turned around to'ards the old a;uhsshiVs voice, #ut "ound that he had moved a'ay and 'as standin$ next to several other cre' mem#ers YDmm Y Okay, ,u (i ,ou can do this (i$ht1

Y=o you 'ant help1Y &ae ,an$ suddenly appeared #y my side 'ith a 'orried expression Y5o, no, !Vm "ine,Y ! 'aved him o"" and s'un$ one le$ over the 'ooden rail Y!Vm $ood Y ! think Y2lri$ht, ,u (iAY ! heard someone yell "rom #ehind me Y&en Y

Holy mini cooper &hey 'ere doin$ it no'1 !Vm not even over the led$e, yet Y5ine Y

Ey le"t le$ "ollo'ed the actions o" my ri$ht, and no' ! 'as standin$ on the thin led$e on the other side Oh, my $od YEi$ht Y

Y&ae ,an$,Y ! yelled out 'ithout lookin$ #ehind me Y! really, really hate you, ri$ht no' Y YSeven Y

He responded, #ut ! couldnVt make out his 'ords "or the li"e o" me &his is 'hat "ear does to you YSix Y

! looked do'n and reali)ed that there 'as nothing separatin$ me "rom the "ro)en river #elo' me &here 'as no led$e, no kind a;uhsshi, no cra)y &ae ,an$ to save me !t 'as all on me Y&hree Y

.hat the hell1 .hat happened to "ive and "our1 Ey hands 'ere still ti$htly $rippin$ the led$e #ehind me .hy are you doin$ this a$ain, ,u (i1 &o $et over your "ear "ear o" hei$hts1 &o save the old a;uhsshi "rom starvin$ and "ree)in$1 Y&'o Y

Or may#e, you ;ust 'ant to "or$et YOne Y

Y&ae ,an$A !" ! die, oh my $od, !Vm $oin$ to "ollo' you throu$h the a"terli"e and haunt you Y Ey eyes ti$htly shut, one hand le"t the led$e, and ! "elt my "eet "ollo'in$ suite, mindlessly Y>ero Y Hello, leap

]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

YOH, E, <O= Y ! had #een repeatin$ the same 'ord "or the past "i"teen minutes ! 'as alive ! had surived a 4PP "oot drop "rom the sky Oh, my $od Y,ouVre $oin$ to have to say somethin$ else other than those three 'ords,Y &ae ,an$ responded 'ith a teasin$ tone in his voice YOh, my $od,Y ! repeated "or the "ive hundredth time -allin$ "rom the the #rid$e 'as such a mind #lo'in$ experience ,ou, literally, "eel like you are "allin$ to your death and it isnVt until youVre han$in$ in midFair, 'ith only 4P "eet separatin$ you "rom the chaotic, ripples o" ice that you reali)e 'hat youVve done !t 'as ;ust an exhilaratin$ experience kno'in$ that a sin$le elastic cord and 4P "eet separated you "rom li"e and death YOh, my $od Oh, my $od ! de"ied death today,Y ! said in a stunned tone Y!, Cim ,u (i, =E-!E= death Y Y! 'ouldnVt really put it that 'ay,Y &ae ,an$ said in a ;okin$ manner, as he reached "or a #asket in the #ack o" 9ulia Y,ou 'ere never in dan$er o" dyin$ ! 'ouldnVt have let you do it i" ! didnVt kno' it 'as sa"e Y YHah, says the person 'ho needed an UP year old man to push him o"" the #rid$e1Y ! smirked at the memory o" &ae ,an$ a#out to ;ump o"" the #rid$e 2t the last minute, 'hen he 'as on the ed$e o" the #rid$e, he had turned around and cried out that he had chan$ed his mind and 'as in no 'ay ;umpin$ do'n &he a;uhsshi then 'ent over to stand #eside him and had li$htly pushed him o"" o" the #rid$e, allo'in$ &ae ,an$ to #e$in his descent into the ice 'ater, head "irst &he old a;usshi then turned around to smile at me 'ith a thum#s up He s'ore that he heard, Y<ive me a pushAY versus Y3et me o""AY ,eah, they donVt sound anythin$ a like, #ut the old a;ushhi #lamed his #ad hearin$, #ut !Vm pretty sure heVs lyin$ So very, very sneaky &ae yan$ turned around a#ruptly, "ei$nin$ a "ake pout Y.hat are you talkin$ a#out1 ! 'ouldVve ;umped, either 'ay Y He shut the car trunk and motioned "or me to "ollo' him Y&ch, thereVs no need to lie !tVs ;ust you and me,Y ! said 'ith a smile, 'hile tryin$ to keep up 'ith his lon$ strides YHey, 'hat are 'e doin$1 .hereVs my $reen tea iceFcream that you promised 'e 'ould $et i" ! came out alive1Y He 'as leadin$ us o"" o" the main trail and to'ards the direction o" the "ro)en river Y! so 'ouldVve ;umped ! ;ust 'anted to see your um, reaction to, uh, 'hen ! said that Y &hatVs the 'orst excuse, ever, #ut it 'as cute that he 'as stum#lin$ over his 'ords Y2nd, 'eVre headed to the river, ! have some "ood, #ut itVs not ice cream, sorry Y ! ti$htened my scar" around my neck, "eelin$ a sudden cold $ust o" 'ind pass us Y!snVt it too cold "or a picnic1Y Y5ah, 'e 'onVt #e here too lon$ 9ust lon$ enou$h to see the sunset,Y he reassured me, #ut

then he $ave me a sli$htly 'orried look Y!s that too corny1 .atchin$ a sunset on a date1Y Hey, at least heVs ackno'led$ed itVs a date ! donVt kno' i" ! should #e relieved or not ! lau$hed 'hile almost stum#lin$ on a pile o" rocks on the $round Y2 little, #ut it #alances out the almost dyin$ part that 'e ;ust experienced on the "irst hal" o" this, urm date Y Y&hatVs $ood to kno',Y he said 'ith a relieved smile He suddenly stopped in his steps and took a $iant leap over a particularly lar$e shru# YDm, here, !Vll help you do'n Y He held out his hand "or me 'hile ! looked skeptically at it .hy should ! #e so 'eary o" it1 !tVs ;ust a hand He ;ust 'ants to help you $et over that plantF shru# thin$ !tVs #ecause he kno's youVre a 'alkin$, talkin$, accident !tVs ;ust a damn handA 2s i" he could read the cra)y thou$hts in my mind, Y,u (i, ! ;ust donVt 'ant you to "all !tVd #e really sad that you survived a 4PP "oot drop, #ut you tripped and sprained an ankle 'hile 'alkin$ over a #ush1Y Huh He had a point Hesitantly, ! rested my hand in his open palm and tried not to act too a'k'ard ! couldnVt help it, it 'as ;ust odd Clearly, ! 'as the only one that thou$ht it 'as odd, #ecause &ae ,an$ "olded his "in$ers over mine and held on li$htly Y,ou kno' youVre $oin$ to have to actually step over it, ri$ht1Y he said to me li$htheartedly (i$ht ,u (i, stop over thinkin$ thin$s and 'alk over that damn piece o" shru# Y.e can pro#a#ly sit there Y He pointed at a spot ;ust ten meters a'ay a"ter ! had success"ully ;umped over the shru# that 'as causin$ me so much distress He tu$$ed me a lon$, still ti$htly holdin$ on to my hand ! merely nodded at his statement, #ecause the only thin$ that ! 'as a#le to concentrate on 'as the "act that he hadnVt let $o o" me ! looked do'n at our entan$led hands 2 really $ood lookin$ and s'eet $uy 'ith #ul$in$ muscles is holdin$ your hand, ,u (i .hy do you not "eel anythin$1 ,ouVre supposed to "eel all tin$ly, as i" an electric spark has shot throu$h you .hy donVt you "eel anythin$1 He didnVt let $o o" my hand until 'e reached our destination and he laid out the #lanket that he packed in the #asket ! 'atched him as he strai$htened out the #lanket, #ut ! couldnVt help #ut think ho' normal my hand "elt !tVs not tin$ly !t doesnVt "eel 'arm !t doesnVt "eel like ! ;ust $ot electrocuted !t "elt too normal Y2lri$ht, ! think itVs okay,Y &ae ,an$ suddenly said, 'hile smoothin$ out the 'rinkles around him He looked up at me and $estured me to the spot next to him YDm, do you 'ant co""ee1 ! took it "rom the shop #e"ore 'e headed out Y He reached "or the lar$e, #lack thermos next to him ! lau$hed at his small instance o" stealin$, momentarily "or$ettin$ a#out ho' normal my hand "elt Y,ou stole co""ee1 Some people steal pens "rom 'ork places, &ae ,an$ steals $rade 2 co""ee "rom Colum#ia,Y ! ;oked, 'hile reachin$ "or the thermos in his hands Hey, the co""ee at that little ca"e is expensive, and ! donVt say no to "ree thin$s, even i" itVs stolen co""ee ! really do

'onder 'here my morals have $one Eay#e Seun$ (i 'as onto somethin$ Our "in$ertips #rushed a$ainst one another 'hen ! tried to take the thermos "rom him Spark, 'here the hell are you1 !nstead o" ;umpin$ in my seat, and pullin$ #ack my hand as i" ! had #een #urnt, ! remained in place? not movin$, at all !Vm the type that canVt stand silence, and ! usually al'ays have something to say, #ut at this moment, ! ;ust could not "ind the 'ords to say &his 'asnVt #ecause o" #utter"lies "lyin$ around my stomach? ! didnVt "eel that ! didnVt hear the "ire'orks explodin$ in the #ack$round nor did ! "eel the un#elieva#le connection =o you kno' 'hat ! "elt1 Oh, you $uessed it: nothin$ &hat accidental touch #et'een us should have i$nited some type o" inner harle6uin romance character in me, #ut ! "elt like ! 'as ;ust touchin$ one o" Seun$ (iVs manicured "in$ers ! didnVt have the spontaneous need to ;ump into &ae ,an$Vs arms and kiss him until he couldnVt see strai$ht nor did ! "eel like "rolickin$ and rollin$ around in the sand 'ith him ! didnVt "eel any o" that ! 'asnVt speakin$ #ecause o" shock and reali)ation !t had "inally hit me? everythin$ ;ust came crashing at me Ey $a)e traveled "rom our "in$ertips that 'ere still #arely touchin$, and then up to'ards his marshmallo' ;acket and "inally my "ocus settled on his "ace !t 'as entirely unreada#le, and "or a moment it looked like &ae ,an$ 'as $oin$ to say somethin$, and then ! sa' him shi"t closer to'ards me Oh ! leaned #ack a #it, puttin$ a #it o" distance #et'een us Y&ae ,an$ Y

He 'ouldnVt let me continue, instead he pulled a'ay so that our "in$ertips no lon$er touched He held up a hand to stop me "rom talkin$ Y=onVt,Y he said 'ith a sad smile Y9ust donVt say anythin$ Y He #e$an to lau$h out loud and sli$htly turned a'ay YHahaha, ! really canVt #elieve !Vm so stupid Y Y!F! 'ish ! could Y .hat are you 'ishin$ "or1

He sco""ed at me ! donVt #lame him, ! donVt even sound like mysel", ri$ht no' !Vve never #een in these types o" situationsA Oh, Corean drama hand#ook, youVve "ailed me Y! meant 'hat ! said #e"ore !Vd ! donVt kno' ! $uess, ! ;ust canVt "orce the s'itch on1Y Oh, $od ,ouVre $oin$ the 9i ,on$Froute o" #reakin$ up: 'hen all else "ails, start talkin$ in metaphors ! heard him si$h loudly, and he turned to "ace me, head on Y2 stupid part o" me actually #elieved that you 'ere over 9i ,on$ ! donVt kno', may#e #ecause he said you 'ere already kissin$ other $uys ! ;ust really thou$ht that you 'ere over him and you could move on 'ith me, possi#ly1 2nd no' ! ;ust "eel so stupid, so ridiculously stupid that ! even had that thou$ht in my mind #ecause #ecause itVs ;ust never $oin$ to #e me, is it1Y He looked at me 'ith that sad smile o" his and nodded He already kne' the ans'er, there 'as no point in sayin$ it out loud ! really 'ish it 'as you, &ae ,an$ Ho' easy 'ould that #e1 5o, it 'ould make thin$s more complicated, #ut ! really do 'ish it 'as you ! 'ish ! could turn the s'itch on "or you ! 'ish ! could li$ht up that match and a #urst o" "lame 'ould erupt ! 'ish ! could, ! really, really, do But,

! canVt Everyone has #een tellin$ me to take that leap and "or$et a#out the past, and "or the past "e' days !Vve #elieved that But !Vve ;ust #een "oolin$ mysel" !Vve #een "orcin$ "eelin$s and emotions that 'ere never there in the "irst place ! canVt ;ust ma$ically make mysel" like him, no matter ho' much ! 'ant to ! canVt take this leap #ecause itVs not "air !tVs not "air to me and itVs not "air to &ae ,an$ ! think ! al'ays kne' this, #ut my psychotic "riends and my e6ually psychotic mind ;ust had a $reater in"luence over my heart, as corny as that may sound ! thou$ht ! could $ro' to like &ae ,an$, #ut it doesnVt 'ork that 'ay ,ou donVt #uy a ;ar o" pickled lettuce 'hen itVs your least "avourite "ood and hope that youVll $ro' to like it i" you continue eatin$ it 5o, you 'ouldnVt do that, so 'hy 'ould you do that to someone1 .hen you 'ant to #e someone, thereVs a spark ,ou may not notice it the "irst time, #ut thereVs somethin$ there &hen that spark slo'ly $ets stron$er and turns into a hu$e, roarin$ "lame, or somethin$ like that .ith &ae ,an$ and !, there 'as never a spark not even a tiny little "lame 5othin$ ! canVt #elieve it took me this lon$ to reali)e all this Y&ae ,an$, this is $oin$ to sound so cliche, #ut itVs not you, itVs me Y ! never really understood that line until no' He is literally the most per"ect #oy in the 'orld and ! 'as re;ectin$ him !Vm 'ell a'are that you think !Vm insane #ecause hello, per"ect #oy likes you1 But, thereVs nothin$ there ! donVt 'ant to continue this $ame o" charades and "orced romance !tVs ;ust not "air to me and him, despite ho' much everyone 'ould like us to #e to$ether Y2h, ! never thou$ht that line 'ould #e used on me,Y he murmured lookin$ a'ay "rom me and out to'ards the ice 'ater ! si$hed heavily, and hoped to Buddha that ! 'ould come o"" soundin$ completely psychotic YEveryone has #een tellin$ me that ! should $et over 9i ,on$ and in a 'ay, ! am !tVs a slo' pro$ress, #ut itVs $ettin$ there Y !tVs true !Vve come a lon$ 'ay "rom my VletVs #ake 0PP cupcakesV days YEveryone has also #een tellin$ me to take a leap and step out o" my com"ort )one ! should #e $oin$ outside and playin$ volley#all and "or$ettin$ a#out the sharp shellsAY &ae ,an$ $ave me a 'eird look a"ter that Oh, ri$ht, heVs not "amiliar 'ith Seun$ (i metaphors YHah, uh, "or$et a#out that 2ny'ays, ! should #e takin$ leapsA 2nd, ! $uess you 'ere one o" my leaps #ecause ! never really thou$ht that !Vd #e on this date, ever1Y He made another "ace at me, and ! 6uickly 'aved my hands #ecause he clearly had $otten the 'ron$ idea Y! donVt mean it like thatA 9ust, itVs you and itVs me, you kno'1 So !Vve ;ust #een listenin$ to everyone and ! $uess people have a stron$ in"luence on me &heir 'ords plus my psycho thinkin$ 'as ;ust too much "or my tiny, little heart FF oh, my $od, did ! ;ust say tiny, little heart1 Oh, you $et 'hat !Vm sayin$, #ut ! $uess ! started to listen to everyone #ut mysel" Y &hat sounded relatively $ood and normal1 Y5o matter ho' much Seun$ (i, Eun ,oun$, =ae Sun$ no matter ho' much they 'ant it to #e you ! canVt #ecause ! canVt let it #e you Even 'ith all the voices in my head sayin$ that it should #e you, another part o" me is ;ust screamin$ that it canVt #e you Y !t "elt like a hu$e load had #een li"ted o"" o" me -or the past "e' 'eeks, it had "elt like an entire ;un$le o" animals had #een sittin$ on my shoulders 5o' a"ter my con"ession to &ae ,an$, it 'as like &ar)an had came #ack and called all the animals to return #ack to their home ! ;ust "elt a lot li$hter and it had nothin$ to do 'ith the "act that ! didnVt order dessert 'ith dinner toni$ht ! looked at &ae yan$ expectantly, hopin$ that he 'ouldnVt $o #eserk on me YEven thou$h youVre the one 'ho ;ust laid out everythin$, ! still "eel like the stupid one Y &ae ,an$ #reathed heavily and continued lookin$ out to the river Y! kne' that it 'as $oin$ to #e impossi#le "or you to like me, #ut ! had a tiny #it o" hope1 ! really tried to "i$ht it, ! really did,

#ecause 'hat the hell1 ,ou are my #est "riendVs exF$irl"riend 5ot ;ust any exF$irl"riend, his "irst exF$irl"riend and no matter 'hat $uys tell you, a $uyVs "irst real $irl"riend is important ,ou 'erenVt ;ust another $irl to him !" you 'ere ;ust another $irl, you 'ouldnVt even have lasted to the second date never mind a t'o hundred and ninetyFei$hth one Y ! smiled to mysel" at the mention o" t'o hundred and ninety ei$ht 9i ,on$ and ! had $one on t'o hundred and ninety ei$ht dates #e"ore thin$s "inally ended .hat can ! say1 ! like to keep count o" important thin$s, includin$ 470th day anniversaries Y2nd no', ! ;ust "eel stupid "or thinkin$ that ! donVt kno' that thin$s could #e di""erent "or once Y His ;a' 'as still ti$htly clenched and he still $ave no si$n o" lookin$ at me .ay to make me "eel #ad, &ae ,an$ Okay, this is not the time to #e sel"ish ! shi"ted my #ody so that it 'as "acin$ him rather than the #ody o" 'ater in "ront o" us Y! 'ish it could #e di""erent =o you kno' ho' much easier this leap 'ould #e i" ! 'as ;ust psychotically in love 'ith you1 5o#ody 'ishes it 'as di""erent more than me Y ! paused a moment to let my statement sink in and "or a second, ! sa' &ae ,an$ "licker his eyes to'ards me, #ut his "ocus 6uickly reverted #ack to the river Y!tVs not even a#out 9i ,on$, anymore Y (eally, it isnVt1 O" course, not Y!" ! liked you, ! 'ould #e all umm, to hell 'ith 9i ,on$AY &hat sounded a #it too dramatic and mean Y2ctually, ;ust 'ell, ;ust kno' that it has nothin$ to do 'ith 9i ,on$ He isnVt even in the e6uation, okay1 &his has nothin$ to do 'ith him &he "act that ! canVt return 'hat you o#viously "eel "or me isnVt #ecause thereVs somethin$ 'ron$ 'ith you 5or is it #ecause that youVre 9i ,on$Vs #est "riend and it is de"initely not #ecause ! am not over 9i ,on$ Y -or someone 'ho says theyVre over their exF#oy"riend, !Vve said 9i ,on$Vs name, a lot in the past hal" hour ! pushed the thou$ht to the #ack o" my mind and moved closer to him Y!tVs ;ust the pro#lem is me ,ou kno' that my one $ood trait is the a#ility to make everyone else around me look sane, so you had to kno' 'hat you 'ere $ettin$ into 'hen you "irst started likin$ me, ri$ht1Y Ey dry attempt at humor 'as semi success"ul, #ecause he raised his eye#ro's at me and his head turned a#out an inch Y! donVt kno' thin$s are ;ust !Vm sorry, okay1 ! donVt really kno' FF dammit, the Corean drama hand#ook should have a section on thisAY ! turned a'ay "rom him, an$ry that ! had no clue 'here ! 'as $oin$ 'ith my speech ! pu""ed my cheeks up 'ith air and li$htly let out the pu"" o" air &hin$s 'ere so damn complicated &he #oth o" us didnVt say anythin$ "or a lon$ time Y,ou shouldnVt even #e apolo$i)in$,Y &ae ,an$ said so"tly a"ter the tension "illed silence Y! donVt 'ant to play the part o" the ;ealous, scorned couldF#e #oy"riend, #ecause itVs ;ust not me Y ! looked at him, ea$erly, relieved that he 'as talkin$ Y5o, youVre not, youVre like the $entleman in those olden day movies 'ith the top hats and tuxedos Y ! sa' him "linch at the mention o" the 'ord V$entlemanV, #ut he 6uickly recovered Y! think re;ection has al'ays #een one o" my $reatest "ears,Y he #e$an, i$norin$ my comment Y!t mi$ht #e one o" the reasons 'hy !Vve never really 'anted to date around !tVs "unny #ecause !Vve never #een re;ected #e"oreFF'ell, until no', that is But, ! 'as scared o" re;ection 'hich is somethin$ ! hadnVt experienced Y He looked at me and $ave a look o" understandin$ Dnderstandin$ 'hat, ! really donVt kno' Y! canVt say that the "ear o" re;ection is the only reason 'hy ! didnVt $o out 'ith a lot o" $irls, #ut it did play a #i$ part ! 'as scared o" the unkno'n and the only 'ay to $et over a "ear is to "ace it head on? take a leap into it Y ! had to admit, ! 'as a #it con"used One minute, 'e 'ere talkin$ a#out us, then the next a#out 9i ,on$, and no' 'e 'ere talkin$ a#out 'hy he hasnVt #een $oin$ out 'ith any $irls1

Y.ait,Y ! tilted my head to the side and re$arded him 'ith a sli$htly 'eary expression, Yare you sayin$ that #ecause ! donVt like you, youVre not a"raid o" $irls, anymore1Y Y.hat1 5oA Eay#e1Y He looked a#ashed at my accusation, #ut 'hat else 'as ! supposed to think a"ter that con"ession1 Y-irst o" all, ! 'as never a"raid o" $irls, Cim ,u (i Y ! $ave him a kno'in$ smirk Y(i$ht, okay,Y ! told him in a clearly sarcastic voice Y,ahAY He tried to sound an$ry, #ut &ae ,an$ can never have that type o" ima$e Y! have lots o" $irls 'aitin$ to date me, i" you must kno' Y ! nodded, enthusiastically Y! totally #elieve you, &ae ,an$ &hat completely explains 'hy youVre on a date 'ith me, one o" the most insane and random $irls, youVve ever met in your li"e, 'hen you apparently have a 'hole line up o" $irls to date you !t makes per"ect sense Y ! reasoned 'ith a teasin$ smile He sco""ed at me, #ut he did smile #ack !t "elt nice to #e smilin$ at one another versus the tension that 'as "elt ;ust minutes a$o Y,ou shouldnVt #e apolo$i)in$, thou$h, ,u (i,Y he reminded me Y,ouVre ;ust doin$ 'hat your tiny, little heart is tellin$ you to do Y He $rinned at the 'ords ! had used in my moment o" truth !Vm tellin$ you, thin$s ;ust donVt sound as $reat out loud as they 'ere in your head ! made a "ace at him "or mockin$ my previous 'ords, #ut chose to i$nore it 9ust this once Y! donVt re$ret today, at all,Y he told me, li$htly YStran$ely enou$h, lookin$ #ack, ! really donVt re$ret any o" the thin$s you put me throu$h ! canVt say that !Vm not remotely disappointed or an$ry, #ut thereVs no re$rets Y Y&ae ,an$,Y ! si$hed Y.hy couldnVt it #e you1Y ! sadly asked He leaned #ack so that his 'ei$ht 'as on his el#o's and he looked up to'ards the explosive pastel coloured sky Y! $uess your leap ;ust 'asnVt meant "or me,Y he said 6uietly ! 'ish it 'as, &ae ,an$, ! 'ish it 'as &he silence continued on, #ut this time it 'as a com"orta#le silence !t 'as a silence that spoke o" understandin$ and acceptance !t 'as a lon$ time #e"ore either o" us spoke? the #oth o" us in our o'n little 'orlds as 'e 'atched the sun set 6uietly !t 'asnVt until 'e 'ere completely immersed in the moon li$ht that ! decided to speak YSo um, not to #e the mood killer o" the century, #ut ! think 'e should $et $reen tea ice cream, "or you kno' not dyin$ and to cele#rate the "act that 'e um, donVt hate each other1Y ! smiled at him hope"ully &ae ,an$ didnVt say anythin$ "or a'hile, and "or a second, ! thou$ht 'eVd only #e cele#ratin$ one o" the t'o options But then he turned to'ards me and his mouth curled into a $rin and he nodded Y,eah, sure, ! $uess thatVs a $ood enou$h reason to #e eatin$ ice cream at I LE at ni$ht Y

! stood up "rom the #lanket, #rushin$ o"" the dirt on the my pants <ivin$ him a 'ry smirk, YLsh, you and your 'hole not eatin$ a"ter 8 LE thin$ ,ou are only /I, you donVt have to think a#out #ecomin$ o#ese until youVre at least 7P, or somethin$ Dnless, youVre Ein H'an #ecause ! heard his umma say somethin$ a#out $oin$ up 4 pants si)es in less than a month Y He didnVt respond, and instead ;ust chuckled at my reply and #e$an to "old up the #lanket ! 'atched him put a'ay the untouched drinks and snacks, and couldnVt help #ut think that thin$s 'ere okay Y&ae ,an$1Y He looked up at me Y&hanks Y Y5o pro#lem,Y he said a"ter a period o" silence 3ike me, he 'as pro#a#ly 'onderin$ ;ust what exactly ! 'as thankin$ him "or -or the date, $ettin$ over a "ear, "or the small leap, "or "or$iveness? may#e it 'as "or all o" that ,eah, s'itch isnVt turnin$ on Eatches are dead there"ore no "ire &he air is out o" the #each #alls so you canVt play volley#all But, ice cream makes up "or all o" that ! think

Stutter: Lart &hree

9i ,on$%s Story

six
=id ! "inally do the ri$ht thin$1 .as ! done 'ith #ein$ sel"ish1 .hy did ! choose to #reak up 'ith her in a smelly little alley'ay 'hen ! kne' ! had to $o #ack to 'ork, a"ter'ards1 .ork, as in an upscale ur#an clothin$ store ,eah, Eana$er Dhm is $oin$ to love me "or stenchin$ up the entire store .hen ! came #ack "rom the dark alley'ay and le"t ,u (i alone 'ith her thou$hts and the pink #ox, ! "elt like ! 'as in some type o" 'arped t'ili$ht )one !" she 'as con"used, then ! must have #een 'hacked and hi$h and completely out o" my usual sane mind Dsually, 'hen you "inally let $o o" somethin$, it "eels like a load has #een li"ted o"" your shoulders !tVs like an elephant has #een sittin$ on your le"t shoulder, #ut you canVt do anythin$ a#out it #ecause hey, itVs a "reakin$ elephant and elephants are heavy So 'hen you "inally let that elephant $o, you should #e a#le to "inally #reathe normally, 'alk 'ith proper posture and ;ust #e happier .ell, can you please explain to me 'hy it still "eels like a 4 ton elephant is still happily sittin$ on me 'hile eatin$ peanuts1 ! didnVt "eel any o" those si$ns o" relie" ! "elt like my mind 'as "o$$ed up, a "ro$ 'as stuck in my throat and ! 'as still 'alkin$ like a hunch#ack ! sure as hell did not "eel saner ! mean, !Vm thinkin$ a#out elephants hereA &he "uck is 'ron$ 'ith me1 ! #e$an to "old the clothes in a 'ay that 'as completely a$ainst company policies 2t that

particular time, did ! really care i" ! "olded the le"t sleeve "irst or the ri$ht one1 5o, not really -olded clothes are "olded clothes 'hether or not you "old the le"t sleeve "irst or not !tVs not like the psychotic mana$er really cares, any'ays SheVs al'ays in her o""ice claimin$ that sheVs doin$ paper'ork, #ut !Vm pretty sure sheVs catchin$ up on all her Bi$ Ban$ stu"" Seriously, she is a $ro'n 'oman *she had to #e at least QP+ and she spends countless hours $i$$lin$ like a perverted school $irl over those stupid $uys .hat kind o" names do they have any'ays1 One o" them is named Dnicorn, HFDni, or <FBear or somethin$ ! donVt kno', it had some "antasy animal in it 2t least, my nick name made sense So ! continued "oldin$ the chicken patterned hoodies 'ith le"t sleeve "irst instead o" ri$ht, not really carin$ a#out company policies and not very 'orried #ecause Eana$er Dhm 9un$ H'a 'as pro#a#ly "i$urin$ out a 'ay to $et into E ! or T & or E &Vs FFthe ma$nae o" Bi$ Ban$FFpants any'ays Y,ah, C'on 9i ,on$A .hat are you doin$1 !tVs ri$ht sleeve "irstAY =amn, ! spoke too soon &his is 'hat happens 'hen you think that you can "inally 'alk and act like a normal person, #ut really the elephant is still sittin$ on your shoulders Y,ah, yah, yahAY she yelled out She pushed me aside and un"olded all o" the animal printed s'eaters She 'ould let out a small $rum#le or s'ear a"ter every s'eater she 'ould un"old 2"ter "inally un"oldin$ hal" o" the display she looked up and $ave me a "rustrated and very an$ry look ,ou kno', "rom "ar a'ay, sheVs really pretty &hen a$ain, anyone is pretty "ar a'ay But up close, you could see all the make up she 'as 'earin$ and you could see the po'der creases on her "ace 'hen she scrunched up her lips and nose !t 'as a scary si$ht Y.hatVs 'ron$ 'ith you1 =o you 'ant to $et "ired1 !tVs ri$ht sleeve, shimmy up, le"t sleeve, shimmy up, sit up, roll over and smileA <od, 9i ,on$, 'hat is the matter 'ith you today1Y Eana$er Dhm asked 'ith a "rustrated si$h She suddenly li"ted her head up and sni""ed the air as i" she 'as some sort o" #loodhound Her eyes $lanced over the entirety o" the shop and then they "inally rested on me Y.hy do you smell1Y ! donVt kno'1 Eay#e that sayin$ sounds like some cracked up version o" the stop, drop and roll procedure1 Or may#e !Vm still in shock over a #reak up that ! ;ust 'ent throu$h, even thou$h !Vm the one 'ho initiated it1 Or may#e itVs #ecause !Vm ;ust slo'ly losin$ it #ecause ! am havin$ this inner conversation 'ith mysel" YC'on 9i ,on$AY Eana$er Dhm #e$an 'avin$ her "in$ers in "ront o" my "ace and tried to snap me out o" my inner psychotic #attle ! #linked several times and $ave her a #lank look ! sa' her narro' her eyes at me She 6uickly held her hand up to my "orehead and murmured, Y.ell, it doesnVt "eel like you have a "ever Y 5o, ! de"initely do not have a physical sickness Eental, may#e Y! think you should take the rest o" the day o"" and take a #ath Y She si$hed and shooed me a'ay 'ith a pat on the #um &he 'omanVs such a pervert She should #e damn happy that !Vm not in the ri$ht state o" mind, or else !dV #e threatenin$ a la'suit "or sexual harassment (e$ardless, ! $ra##ed my red parka and 'alked out o" the clothin$ store =id ! really do the ri$ht thin$1 ! couldnVt help #ut let this 6uestion repeat itsel" 'ithin my head as

! started my 'alk home ! had everythin$ planned out &his 'asnVt some random, spur o" the moment #reak up &his 'as the complete opposite o" that .ell, may#e the alley'ay 'asnVt planned, #ut still ! ;ust really couldnVt understand 'hy ! 'as "eelin$ like this ! "inally let her $o ! did somethin$ ri$ht "or the "irst time in my li"e 2nd shit !s this normal1 and, ! "elt like a#solute

&he streets 'ere considera#ly empty due to the lunch rush havin$ ;ust ended !t 'as a $ood thin$, too, #ecause ! 'as in no state o" mind to #e 'alkin$ 'ith cro'ds -or the "irst "ive minutes o" my 'alk home, ! had 'alked into three li$ht posts, accidentally kicked a cat and stepped on a s6uirrelVs tail ! hadnVt noticed the s6uirrel until it started hissin$ at me and it looked as i" it 'as ready to thro' its acorns at me !t ;ust really 'asnVt my day, 'as it1 ! kno' youVre $oin$ to say that ! #rou$ht it upon mysel", #ecause ! did !Vm 'illin$ to admit it ! had texted and called her countless times today and there 'as never an ans'er &hen, 'hen ! 'as settin$ up a ne' display in the store, ! sa' her "amiliar red hat and rosy cheeks pressed up a$ainst the $lass 'indo' o" the shop ! "i$ured that it 'as the per"ect opportunity to do 'hat ! had to do ! "ind it "unny ho' 'hen 'e 'atch dramas on &T, 'e yell at the characters "or #ein$ so stupid and #lind &hereVs the classic situation o" the lead $irl lyin$ to the love o" her li"e a#out not lovin$ him anymore She 'ants to protect him "rom the hurt she may cause him in the "uture ,eah, ! 'as one o" those people, too !t isnVt until youVre actually in their position that you reali)e ho' they "eel ,u (i 'ould al'ays say that thereVs no point in the $irl lyin$ #ecause her #oy"riend loves her 'ith all his heart and her lyin$ 'ould only hurt him more .ise 'ords "rom the insane ,u (i &rust me, ! 'as ;ust as surprised But you kno', you really canVt say that ;ust "rom 'atchin$ "rom the outside !t isnVt until you "ully experience it "rom the inside that you can "ully comprehend the situation Sometimes, hurtin$ them is a 'ay o" protectin$ them Stayin$ 'ith them, ;ust may #e even more hurt"ul than leavin$ them ! didnVt 'ant her to hate me But she mi$ht as 'ell deem me as num#er one on her hit list ! 'anted to say more than the stupid t'o liner *V! think itVs time that ! stopped #ein$ sel"ish ,ou deserve #etter than this ronri "oo Y+, #ut ! couldnVt .hen she yelled at me to leave, ! 'anted to stay .hen she took hold o" the #a$ 'ith the pink #ox 'ithin it, ! 'anted to rip it a'ay and take it #ack 'ithin my possession .hen ! 'as 'alkin$ a'ay and le"t her standin$ there, ! 'anted to turn around and say ! didnVt mean any o" that But ! didnVt do any o" those thin$s, instead, ! did the opposite ! 'alked a'ay ! ;ust 'anted to do the ri$ht thin$ .as that so hard1 ! si$hed heavily and tried to dro'n out my con"lictin$ thou$hts ! continued to tell mysel" that ! did the ri$ht thin$ and ! 'as ;ust savin$ ,u (i and ! a lot o" hate and "i$htin$ in the "uture !tVs easy to tell yoursel" this !tVs the #elievin$ part thatVs hard ! "lipped out my phone to check the time and ! noticed "or the "irst time that today 'as -e#ruary /Q ! ended up stoppin$ in the middle o" the side'alk and ;ust stared at the num#er /Q TalentineVs =ay .o', C'on 9i ,on$, ;ackass o" the century, much1 ,ou #roke up 'ith her on TalentineVs =ay ! couldnVt help #ut #itterly lau$h <od, ! really 'as $oin$ insane !tVs ;ust really, really "unny in a t'isted 'ay !tVs ironic &hereVs really no other 'ay to descri#e it

! #roke up 'ith ,u (i on the one day youVre supposed to sho'er the one you care a#out 'ith terms o" endearment, special dates and physical $i"ts .hat did ! do1 ! ended thin$s in a shady, smelly alley'ay ,ou really should #e nominated "or Best Boy"riend o" the ,ear, C'on 9i ,on$ But, i" ! had kno'n it 'as TalentineVs =ay 'ould ! have done 'hat ! did1 ,es, that sounds harsh, #ut i" ! had delayed this #reak up, 'ould it have happened, at all1 !t takes time to $et the coura$e to do thin$s ,ou hype yoursel" up, talk to yoursel", think o" the million thin$s that could happen and then you do it !" ! had 'aited another day, 'ould ! actually have had the coura$e to really end thin$s1 ,ou did the ri$ht thin$, C'on 9i ,on$ &he ri$ht thin$ 9ust as ! closed my phone, and 'as almost convinced #y my inner voice, my phone #e$an to vi#rate? si$nalin$ that ! had a text messa$e -or a second, my heart #e$an to #eat "aster thinkin$ that there 'as a small possi#ility that it 'as ,u (i, #ut it returned to its normal #eat 'hen ! reali)ed it 'as "rom &ae ,an$ 9A< YA4 =>;9<S: hey, let?s hit the store tonight i?m not working and knowing you, you probably haven?t even bought %u 8i a L@day gift, yet.and you know, v@day is the best day to make up with a girlfriend. !rony, "ate, li"e FF 'hatever you 'ant to call it FF it ;ust has an odd 'ay o" makin$ "un o" me =onVt you think1

seven
! 'as relieved ! could #reathe !nhale Exhale !nhale Exhale Closure &he door closed and the #ook 'as slammed shut &he clothes 'ere returned and sorry, no re"unds <od, 'hat the hell is 'ron$ 'ith me1 Sproutin$ out random metaphors .atch me #reak out in rap in a "e' minutes See 'hat youVre 'atchin$ here1 ,ouVre 'atchin$ a /I year old #oy slo'ly $o cra)y #ecause o" a $irl &hatVs 'hat youVre seein$ !" ! 'as so damn relieved, 'hy 'as my chest still heavy and my #reathin$ ra$$ed1 ! leaned a$ainst the phone #ooth directly #eside her apartment #uildin$ !t 'as $oin$ to take

a'hile to re$ain my sense o" sanity ! told her ! 'as relieved that my #est "riend liked her Her as in my exF$irl"riend, Cim ,u (i ! did mean it !Vd rather have her $oin$ out 'ith &ae ,an$ #ecause ! ;ust 'anted 'hat 'as the #est "or her1 &ae ,an$Vs such a damn $entleman and !Vm the complete opposite and 'hat she needed was someone that 'as the complete opposite o" me She could "inally #e happy 'ith someone else Someone that isnVt stupid, sel"ish, and "ickle She can "inally settle into a normal datin$ routine 'ith a $uy that 'ill send her "lo'ers instead o" rhymes, su#mit to her every demand instead o" purposely ar$uin$ a$ainst it and make her smile instead o" "ro'nin$ But, there 'as this voice in the #ack o" my head that ! chose to purposely #lock out throu$hout the 'hole evenin$ and day 2 voice screamin$ out, Y.ell, 'hat i" youVre the one that makes her happy1Y !s there even any proo" that ! made her happy1 .ell, yes, the voice 'ould say, she stayed 'ith you "or a year didnVt she1 She did 2 'hole year Out o" o#li$ation1 Out o" like1 3ust1 3ove1 .ho kno's 2nd 'hen that thou$ht "inally settled in &he thou$ht that she stayed 'ith me "or an entire year, 'ell, ! almost turned around and ran #ack up those // "li$hts o" stairs 2lmost But then ! reali)ed ! 'as #ein$ stupid and sel"ish, once a$ain !tVs done, 9i ,on$ 9ust leave it and let it #e So 'hat i" sheVs kissin$ $uys in random ca"es1 So 'hat i" sheVs $oin$ to poetry readin$s 'ith retarded poets 'ho rhyme a#out the #lue sky1 2lthou$h, ! hi$hly dou#t she 'as $oin$ out 'ith that &OL characterFFhe 'as too stupid and plus his poems 'ere nothin$ compared to mine Honestly, V3ike the 'ater, the sky is #lue Blue &he colour makes me sad Ey heart is #lue #ecause o" her V Crap Compare that to, VSkyVs like an explosion 3ike the ripples o" 'ater in a soil erosion ,ou are that implosion in a nuclear explosion V .inner =onVt even try and compare ! liked to think that ! 'as $lad that she 'as movin$ on ! liked to think that ! didnVt "eel an ounce o" ;ealousy 'hen ! sa' her in that ca"e or at the poetry readin$ 'ith that oa" But !Vd #e lyin$ i" ! said that those thin$s 'ere true !Vm not a saint like &ae ,an$ nor 'ill ! ever #e &he situation that had ;ust occurred /K minutes a$o 'as proo" o" that .hat 'ouldVve happened i" ,u (i hadnVt said anythin$ 'hen ! had her #acked up a$ainst that 'all1 .ould ! still #e here leanin$ a$ainst a phone #ooth 'ith cupcake stains on my ;acket1 .ould ! #e havin$ this conversation 'ith mysel" ri$ht no'1 &oo many 'hat i"s ,ou kno' 'hat they say a#out 'hat i"s: you shouldnVt 'orry a#out themFFthink a#out the here and no', not o" the V#utsV and V'hat couldVve #eensV ! looked up once last time at her apartment #uildin$ and si$hed &here 'as no point in openin$ up an old 'ound &he 'ound is healed ,ouVve ripped the #andaid o"" o" it and even thou$h it hurt, you $ot over the pain, ri$ht1

So, the #andaidVs o"", C'on 9i ,on$ <et over it

ei$ht
Y! have somethin$ to tell you Y ! looked up "rom the thick dictionary in my hands to look at &ae ,an$ ! 'as told #y &eddy, assistant mana$er o" the clothin$ store, that readin$ a pa$e "rom the dictionary every day 'ould do 'onders "or my rhymes HeVs usually ri$ht a#out these types o" thin$s, #ut ! think heVs $ot it all 'ron$ this time .as ! really $oin$ to use the 'ord "op and covetousness in a "uture rhyme1 ! canVt even say those 'ords CovetFusFnes1 Or 'as it covetFoooFsFnes1 ! shut the dictionary and placed it on the side Y.hatVs up1Y &ae ,an$ looked a #it anxious and kept shi"tin$ his 'ei$ht "rom one le$ to another 2"ter a lon$ silence and several attempts to start the conversation "rom &ae ,an$, ! "inally said, Y.hat the hell is 'ron$ 'ith you1 9ust spit it out Y ! had never seen him look so nervous #e"ore &hat included the time 'hen the $uys and ! had hired a stripper "or him on his /Uth #irthday ,eah, that 'as a pretty #ad idea #ecause he ;ust sat there like a lo$ 2ctually, even #e"ore she took o"" her #louse, &ae ,an$ had ;umped up "rom the seat in the middle o" the room and ran into the kitchen .hat sucks 'as that 'e still had to pay the stripper the "ull amount Y=onVt $et mad,Y he tried to say steadily 'hile makin$ himsel" com"orta#le on the #ean #a$ Y! donVt even kno' 'hy it happened or 'hy it did, #ut all that matters is itVs done, okay1 !n "act, you should pro#a#ly #e happy that it happened Okay, no, may#e not, #ut in a 'ay you should #e proud #ut in another 'ay you should #e killin$ me Y &ae ,an$ paused and tried to think o" another 'ay to phrase his 'ords Y2ctually, ! donVt even kno' 'hy ! should #e tellin$ you But you are my lon$est "riend, so ! donVt kno' !tVs important #ut itVs not, soFFY Y&ae ,an$AY ! cut in He never ram#les So 'hen he does start ram#lin$ a#out stupid crap, then it had to #e important Y9ust spit it out Y Ey #est "riend since "orever si$hed heavily as i" he 'as in some kind o" inner con"lict &his 'as 6uite di""erent ! tried my #est to ease his mind YHey, 'hatever it is, it canVt #e horri#le !tVs not like you stole all the #olo$na in my "rid$e so that ! couldnVt have my #olo$na sand'ich today, ri$ht1 Or told the 'orld that my hot spot is my collar #one, andFFoh sh it, you pro#a#ly didnVt kno' that in the "irst place 2ny'ays, itVs not like you did any o" that 5or did you #reak one o" the unspoken rules #et'een $uys !Vm pretty sure you didnVt $o on a date 'ith my sister #ecause thatVs ;ust 'eird even thou$h youVre practically like a #rother to me, so i" you and =a Ei 'ent out, that 'ould #e like incest 'hich is totally not cool andFFY Y! 'ent out on a date 'ith ,u (iAY ! #linked .hat1 &ae ,an$ shi"ted in his seat and continued lookin$ like he had ;ust committed a crime Y!t 'as one date and nothin$ happened Other than me almost dyin$ and makin$ an idiot out o" mysel",

nothin$ really happened !t 'as ;ust a one time

! continued to let &ae ,an$ ram#le, #ut everythin$ a"ter that con"ession ;ust 'ent in one ear and out the other Ey #est "riend 'ent out on a date 'ith my exF$irl"riend ! 'as literally "ro)en in shock ! kne' &ae ,an$ liked her, #ut itVs not like 'e 'ere $irls and discussed these thin$s 5o, 'e de"initely 'erenVt the type to call each other on the phone and ;ust talk a#out 'ho 'e liked and 'ho liked 'ho ! never thou$ht &ae ,an$ 'ould actually $o and ask ,u (i on a date ,u (i, as in my exF$irl"riend &ae ,an$ 'ent on a date 'ith ,u (i ! 'as supposed to #e calm and cool a#out this =id ! not say that ! 'as relieved that he liked her1 ,eah, ! did !t sounded nice in the past #ecause ! kne' there 'as no 'ay in hell that he 'ould ever have the $uts to ask her out But, no' that ! kne' he 'ent out on an actual date 'ith her 'hy did ! suddenly "eel like spontaneously com#ustin$1 YSeriously, nothin$ happened Y &ae ,an$ made an VWV 'ith his arms and then si$hed in relie" Y.ell, that "elt $ood Y 2ll ! did 'as continue lookin$ at him, still in shock &ae ,an$ "inally noticed my silence and stunned expression He stood up "rom the #ean #a$ and 'alked over to'ards me YDhh, 9i ,on$1 2re you okay1Y He shoved me li$htly in the shoulder ! snapped out o" my thou$hts and ;ust stared at him ! couldnVt "ind the 'ords to say ! 'as supposed to #e over ,u (i ! 'as supposed to #e relieved that he liked her .hat in the hell1 ! 'as "ine "or the past t'o 'eeks and no' ! donVt even kno' 9ust 'hen you thou$ht somethin$ 'as done and over 'ith, it comes #ack She 'as like a damn stutter ,ou repeat and you hesitate several times Sometimes, you never $et the 'ord out, and sometimes you do &hatVs 'hat she 'as to me: a series o" repeats and hesitations &ae ,an$ pulled out the other chair #eside me and sat do'n Y! 'asnVt even $oin$ to tell you a#out this, #ut Y he trailed o"" and shru$$ed, Yyou kno', sheVs ,u (i Y Shock, still in place Y2re you alri$ht1Y he repeated 'earily

Y,ou 'ent out 'ith her,Y ! "inally said, i$norin$ his "irst 6uestion !t took a'hile, #ut he nodded in response Y!t 'asnVt serious One date and ! almost "reakin$ died, #ut thin$s o#viously didnVtFFY Y!tVs alri$ht Y &ae ,an$ $aped at me Y!tVs alri$ht1Y 5o, itVs not "u ckin$ alri$ht Y9ust Y2re you serious1Y Y,es,Y ! tried to say as calmly as possi#le yeah Y

Y,ou are alri$ht 'ith the "act that your #est "riend 'ent out on a date 'ith your exF$irl"riend1Y he asked me, curiously .as he tryin$ to push my #uttons1 Y Sure Y

&ae ,an$ couldnVt seem to $et the hint Y,ou are a#solutely, positively fine 'ith the idea that !, =on$ &ae ,an$, spent most o" yesterday 'ith your one and onFFY Y&ae ,an$AY ! had to shut him up He 'as so dense sometimes Y!tVsFFyou kno' 'hat1 9ustFF!Vm really #usyAY ! 6uickly $ra##ed the dictionary #eside me and turned to a random pa$e YCould you come #ack another time or somethin$1Y ! couldnVt deal 'ith this, ri$ht no' &his 'as cra)y, insane andFF! looked do'n at my pa$eFFamok1 He "inally $ot the hint #ecause he nodded in his usual understandin$ 'ay and $ot up "rom the chair Ey head 'as still do'n and starin$ intently at the 'ord VamolitionV 'hen &ae ,an$ decided to speak a$ain Y! kno' you and ,u (i are done, #ut ! think may#e you have to rethink some stu"" ! meanFF9i ,on$ ;ust look at your desk Y .hen ! didnVt say anythin$ in response, ! heard his "ootsteps 'alk to'ards the door and $ently close it #ehind him ! didnVt look at my desk !nstead ! "ocused on the de"inition o" amolition *removal? a puttin$ a'ay+ .hat the hell did =on$ &ae ,an$ kno' a#out relationships, any'ay1 HeVs never had a real $irl"riend and 'hen he "inally does like a $irl, itVs his #est "riendVs exF$irl"riend He 'as the last person that should #e $ivin$ me relationship advice ! slammed the dictionary shut and leaned #ack a$ainst my chair, starin$ up into the ceilin$ .hat 'as 'ron$ 'ith me1 ! 'as "eelin$ a crap load o" thin$s &oo many thin$s 2n$er, "rustration, sadness, ;ealousy, con"usion ! 'as supposed to #e over this ! 'as "ine ;ust "ive minutes a$o ! really 'as &hen that sudden con"ession "rom &ae ,an$ ;ust #rou$ht #ack a sur$e o" emotions 2 part o" me 'as #ein$ a hypocrite Because hell yes, ! 'as an$ry at &ae ,an$ ! donVt even kno' 'hy ! had said to ,u (i that ! 'as relieved that he liked her Because ! 'as de"initely not "eelin$ relie", ri$ht no' But a #i$$er part o" me 'as mad at mysel" ! 'asnVt supposed to #e "eelin$ any o" this &he #andaid had #een ripped o"", dammitA .hy 'ere old 'ounds openin$ up1 ! $rum#led to mysel" and pushed mysel" into a sittin$ position &hat 'as 'hen ! came to lookin$ directly at my desk and reali)ed 'hat &ae ,an$ had #een talkin$ a#out: the damn 3ike Llant !t sat there starin$ #ack at me, as i" it 'as mockin$ me 2t that moment, ! 'anted nothin$ more than to ;ust thro' it on the $round? to see it smashed into hundreds o" pieces <od, ! 'as so "u cked up ! didnVt kno' 'hether to listen to &ae ,an$, the 3ike Llant, or mysel"

Chapter -ourteen, Lart One

7 giant cupcake with long arms and really stubby legs was chasing me. &t had red over@si)ed gloves reminiscent of /icky /ouse. &t was chasing me in a forest of massively large plants. "ome were dead, some were alive and some were in between. YShouldVve kno'n Y

'he cupcake was gaining on me, but & saw another person close by. & s.uinted and reali)ed it was "eung 8i in a striped shirt, leopard print hat and pants that were too tight on him. 6e was watering a half dead plant with a watering can that was in the shape of an elephant. YSo la)y Y

J*hat are you doing,J & asked him, curiously. J5lant needs to get watered or it?ll be slaughtered. (otsta take a leap or you will weep.J 6e answered in the most gangster@like voice &?ve ever heard. Considering, "eung 8i?s voice is usually fruity, it was a shock. YHm .ater, pillo' cupcake1 5o, thatVs a 'aste o" my talent Y

6e looked up from the half dead plant and smiled. JJulia is here to pick you up< &t?s 2#2T< %ou need to get going< 'he cupcakes and elephants will catch up with you if you don?t start leaping<J *ithout another word, he shoved me away from him and when & turned around & saw Julia in front of me, but without its owner. & didn?t even know how to drive< Y=esperate times call "or desperate measures Y 'here was still no sign of the giant cupcake or the elephants when & settled myself in the front seat. & turned to the passenger seat and saw that a paper bag with a note that read# 7in?t no lingerie in this bag array, hey< 'his is how we do, don?t be blue, boo< 'his ain?t no bologna or pepperoni, adieu< Be"ore ! could try and comprehend the note, the car started shakin$ and ! heard a sound in the #ack$round that 'as 6uite similar to 'aves NMiO YSorry, noona Y & .uickly turned around and my eyes widened in absolute shock. 7 giant wave was coming directly at me, and not only that, but the cupcake that was chasing me was riding out the wave with a giraffe patterned surfboard. & could already feel some of the droplets of water on me and it wouldn?t be long@@ YB32(<H 3SC9=-3C9S-=93AY ! shot up "rom my #ed, the second ! "elt a splash o" cold 'ater on me -or a second, ! really thou$ht that the $iant 'ave had crashed into me and that the $iant cupcake 'as ready to eat me But then ! reali)ed that ! 'as in my limeF$reen #edroom and not in a plant "illed "orest ButFF! touched my "aceFF'hy 'as ! all 'et1 YHeh sorry, noona Y

! shouldVve kno'n ! "ollo'ed the shaky voice and sa' 3ee Seun$ (i He 'as holdin$ a 'ater #ottle that 'as hal" empty *#ecause hal" o" it 'as on me+ and had a nervous look in his eyes He had all too $ood reason to have that look Y.H2& !5 &HE HE33 2(E ,OD =O!5<1Y ! screeched at him and tried to resist the ur$e to thro' the ;ar o" coins that 'as sittin$ neatly on the ta#le next to me Y,ou 'erenVt 'akin$ up, at allA 2nd this is a dire situationAY he explained 'hile placin$ his hands on his lean hips ! picked up the closest thin$ next to me *'hich 'as a #lanket on the $round+ and patted my no' 'et hair Y!" itVs #ecause the latest 'ool ;acket 'asnVt in your si)e and you need someone to #us it 'ith you to Busan, thereVs no 'ay in hell !Vm $oin$ 'ith you, a$ainAY YBut that 'as an emer$encyA !Vm 3ee Seun$ (iA ! canVt #e seen 'ith last yearVsFFaishA 5ever mindA &his is somethin$ much more importantAY ! sco'led at at him and thre' my le$s onto the side o" the #ed so that ! could make my 'ay to the 'ashroom Y! honestly cannot #elieve thatFFoh, my $od .hy are you 'earin$ that horri#le shirt1 V!$nite meA !Vm a sex #om#AV1 HonestlyA .hy donVt you 'ear that set ! $ot you1 ,our con"idence 'ill sky rocket, ! s'earA 2nd youVll stop lookin$ like a #eat up ho#o Y ! didnVt even #other ans'erin$ him as ! 'alked into the 'ashroom and $ra##ed my pink tooth#rush -irst, he 'akes me up atFF! looked at the tiny clockFFI:4I 2E, and no' he makes "un o" my 'ardro#e choice ! am too #usy to do laundry, okay1 !" you $et past the horri#le innuendo on this shirt, itVs actually a really com"orta#le tee to sleep in Y,ah, 'hy are you here1Y ! yelled out, as ! applied toothpaste onto my tooth#rush He 'as lucky my parents had decided to prolon$ their trip into the country "or a "e' more days Somethin$ a#out "indin$ themselves and spiritual enli$htenment1 Y!t #etter not #e #ecause o" your pots or #a#l;dslk";AY &he rest o" my 'ords #ecame incoherent 'hen ! #e$an to vi$orously #rush my teeth Y5oAY he replied, loudly ! heard his "ootsteps $radually #ecome louder as he $ot closer to the 'ashroom Y2lthou$h that issue is important, this is much more important than thatAY He said to me, as he leaned a$ainst the door "rame 'ith his arms crossed ! tried to make a "ace at him, #ut it 'as 6uite hard considerin$ my mouth 'as "illed 'ith "oam YSo yesterday, ! heard "rom a "riend o" a "riend o" a "riend that 'orks 'ith &ae ,an$Fhyun$ that you 'ere $oin$ to $o out on a date 'ith him,Y he said thou$ht"ully ! nodded 'hile still continuin$ to #rush my teeth as ! looked at him throu$h the re"lection o" the mirror He, too, also, nodded He also smiled, as 'ell Y&hen ! told you that i" you ever $ot married, youVd pro#a#ly text me the next day tellin$ me Or, i" you 'ere ever pre$nant, youVd pro#a#ly phone me a"ter the #irth o" your #a#y and name it some $odFa'"ul common name #e"ore ! $ot any say in it Y

! spit out the "oam in my mouth and #e$an lookin$ "or my "acial cleanser to ru# onto my "ace Y,eah1 .hat are you $ettin$ at1Y Y=o you not understand1AY he shrieked out loud 'ith an added emphasis o" arm "lailin$ His calm composure had lasted exactly / minute and 74 seconds ! looked at the $reen soap on my "ace !Vve never heard o" a cleanser that 'as $reen #e"ore &hen a$ain, it is a 9apanese product and they have the nicest skin in the 'orld, so 'hatever 'orks "or them is $ood enou$h "or me Y5oonaAY Oh, ri$ht Seun$ri is still #eside me actin$ like polka dots are the ne'est "ashion trend &hatVs not a $ood thin$, #y the 'ay YSorry, hey, do you think ! should chan$e my "acial cleanser1 ! kno' itVs 9apanese, #ut itVs $reenAY ! looked at my re"lection a$ain and shru$$ed ! turned the tap on and started to 'ash it a'ay Y5oona,Y ! heard him say in the same calm voice Y,ou kno' 'hat ! heard today1Y ! reached over "or the to'el next to me and patted my "ace 'ith it ! donVt kno' Ey "ace "elt tin$ly and "resh like a nice summerVs day, so ! $uess it 'as 'orkin$ Y5ooooooonaAY ! si$hed, heavily and directed all my attention on my #estFdon$saen$ Y.hat1 !tVs I:7P in the mornin$ and this is 6uite possi#ly the earliest !Vve ever 'oken up on a Saturday mornin$A So, 'hat did you hear1Y ! moved past him and 'alked to'ards my room He $rum#led somethin$ a#out it not #ein$ early, #ut then 6uickly continued, Y! 'as ;ust en;oyin$ my usual co""ee at that ne' ca"e you dra$$ed me to the other 'eek Y He 'as #ack to soundin$ calm a$ain and 'as distantly "ollo'in$ #ehind me Y.hatVs so important a#out that1Y ! asked 'ith my head in my closet Seun$ (i 'as ri$ht? my 'ardro#e does consist o" ho#o clothes ! heard him lau$h at me !t 'as a very sarcastic and mean lau$h Y5o, noA &he "act that ! went isnVt the important partAY &here 'ere a lot o" clothes on the $round in my closet ! $ot on all "ours and s6uee)ed in #elo' the rack to pick some o" them up Y.ell, 'hat is it, then1Y Y! heard that the chance o" you and &ae ,an$Fhyun$ $ettin$ married and havin$ verticallyF challen$ed, 'hacked hormoneFlike #a#ies has ;ust descended to ne$ative Q41AY His voice literally 'ent "rom a $ro'n /0 year old one to a /4 year old #oy 'ho had ;ust peaked at pu#erty Y.H2&1Y Ba#ies 'ith &ae ,an$1 .hacked hormones1 Huh1 !n my shock at Seun$ (iVs sudden proclamation, ! hit my head on the rack and a dull ache had #e$an pulsin$ throu$h my skull Y2ishAY ! cra'led out o" my closet 'hile ru##in$ the #ump that 'as most likely "ormin$ on my head Y3ook 'hat you did,Y ! murmured, as ! care"ully stood up

Y3ook 'hat & did1Y He cried out dramatically ! 'as expectin$ him to place the #ack o" his hand on his "orehead and "all #ack'ards onto the #ed Y3OOC .H2& ! =!=1Y He 'as so dramatic ! can picture him makin$ his "uture nut case patients even more cra)ier than they already are Y.hat are you talkin$ a#out1Y ! tried to ask calmly, 'hile pickin$ up a #lue ro#e on the $round Y5ooooooonaAY he 'hined Y! told you to call me a"ter your date 'as doneAY He crossed his arms and pouted as i" he 'as a six year old ! hal" expected him to stomp over to the corner and $lare at me YOoh, ri$htAY !t 'as as i" an ima$inary li$ht#ul# had "lashed in my head ! kne' ! had "or$otten to do somethin$, yesterday ! really 'as $oin$ to call him today ! ;ust 'asnVt up to explainin$ 'hy my leap didnVt exactly $o throu$h as ! had plannedFF'ell, as Seun$ (i had planned YSorryA !t ;ust slipped my mind, last ni$ht Y ! thre' the #lue ro#e on and attempted to 'alk out o" my room, #ut the youn$er #oy in "ront o" me held out a hand to stop me Y<2HHAY he sputtered He started to pace #ack and "orth a$ain, a trait that meant he 'as an$ry and "rustrated Y! heard it in the ca"e this timeA -(OE 2 &O&23 S&(25<E(A =O E, 3OTE 25= CDLC2CES EE25 5O&H!5< &O ,OD1Y Dm .hat exactly 'as ! supposed to say to that1 Y!FFY Seun$ (i suddenly held up a hand to silence me YHold on, 'hatVs that sound1Y He slo'ly 'alked to the #edroom door and snuck his head outside the door "rame .e #oth stayed 6uiet ! strained my ears to hear 'hat Seun$ (i 'as hearin$, #ut all ! heard 'as silence He has the eyes o" the ha'k, ears o" a #at and the "ashion sense o" a $ay man *'hich he s'ears he isnVt #ut seriously no', !Vm ;ust countin$ do'n the days until he comes out o" the closet and allo's me to #e $odmother to 2m#roise+ YSeun$ (i, ! donVt evenFFY YShhAY He motioned me 'ith his hand to "ollo' him out o" the #edroom He didnVt 'ait "or my response, #ecause he #e$an to tip toe stealthily out o" the room He 'as dressed all in #lack todayFFa hu$e contrast to the last out"it ! sa' him inFFso he looked like a really, really thin cat #ur$lar 'ith ama)in$ accessory choices ! si$hed heavily and "ollo'ed him, althou$h not as stealthily #ecause ! ended up trippin$ over the pillo's on the $round to 'hich Seun$ (i sco'led in response at and 6uickly turned the other 'ay to 'alk out HeVs such a $ood "riend ! tripped and easily couldVve sprained my ankle or receive a concussion, and 'hat does he do1 5othin$ He ;ust 'alks o"" to "ind out 'hat this noiseFFthat only he could hearFF 'as Hu""in$, ! pushed mysel" o"" the $round and "ollo'ed him outside Eay#e ! shouldVve tried to #e as stealthy as he 'as, #ut ,uri and stealthy do not $o in the same sentence ! "ound Seun$ (i #eside the the hal" opened "ront doorFF'ait, hal" opened1

! punched him li$htly on the shoulder Y.hat1 ,ou come into my house and you donVt even close the door #ehind you1 H2TE ,OD 5O& HE2(= 2BOD& &HE E!SS!5< C2&S1Y 2nnoyed that ! had 'rinkled his #lack dress shirt, he pushed me #ack YShhA ,ou donVt even o'n any cats Y Seun$ (i pressed his #ody a$ainst the 'all and #e$an to 'alk side'ays to'ards the door and sli$htly peered his head out o" it !, on the other hand, chose to 'alk normally and snuck my head out underneath Seun$ (iVs &'o "amiliar "i$ures 'ere talkin$ loudly as they 'alked do'n the lon$ hall: YHurry, hurryA ! donVt 'ant her comin$ a"ter meAY Y,ahA Calm do'nA 3et me $et the #a#ies, and 'e can $oA !Vm pretty sure heVs here Y Seun$ (i turned his head to'ards me and 'e re$arded one another 'ith similar expressions .hat 'ere =ae Sun$ and Seun$ Hyun doin$ here1 Y2ishA -ine, actually ! need my #ook #ack, too Y YOh, 'hat the hell, 'hy is the door opened1Y Y=oes she not read the ne's a#out cats and youn$ teena$e $irls #ein$ kidnapped in the #lack market1Y Y.ell, she is ,u (i andFFHE,AY Seun$ Hyun had suddenly ;umped at the si$ht o" us 'hen he stood outside the door Y.hatVs up $uys1Y He smiled at us !t 'as a really odd si$ht to see Seun$ Hyun here Considerin$ the last time ! sa' him, he 'asnVt 'earin$ much Okay, that 'as in a photo, #ut ! donVt think !Vll ever #e a#le to look at him 'ithout ima$es o" silk sheets and leopard print under'ear "lashin$ throu$h my mind 3ike ri$ht no' Okay, okay, stop thinkin$ a#out inappropriate thin$s, Cim ,u (iA ! turned a'ay "rom Seun$ Hyun and instead settled my $a)e on =ae Sun$ He 'as smilin$ #ri$htly and 'earin$ an extremely #ri$ht yello'FFor canary, as Seun$ (i 'ould sayFFs'eater 3ike 'ith Seun$ Hyun, it 'as 'eird to see =ae Sun$, too ! still 'asnVt used to this happy, $o lucky, theFuniverseFisF yours, =ae Sun$ Y.hatVs up1Y Seun$ (i said #luntly Y.hatVs up1 .hat are you doin$ here1Y &he smile on Seun$ HyunVs "ace disappeared and it 6uickly #ecame a $rim line Y<ive them #ack to me Y !n response, Seun$ (i narro'ed his eyes #ut innocently asked, Y<ive 'hat #ack1Y Y&he potsA .here are they1Y Seun$ Hyun said loudly, and craned his neck to look over our heads Y.here are they1 2re they in here1 ,ou kno' ! invested as much time in them as you haveAY Seun$ (i held out #oth hands, #lockin$ his entrance into the apartment Y5oA ,ou canVt have the #a#iesAY Y,ou have #a#ies 'ith him1 .hat1Y =ae Sun$ looked so con"used as he scratched his head Loor kid Y! thou$ht 'e 'ere here to $et pots or somethin$1 .hen did you and Seun$ (i ever $et to$ether1 !s it a #a#y "rom Cam#odia #ecause theyVre ridiculously cuteAY

.e all turned to look at =ae Sun$ 'ith identical expressions that screamed out, V.hat the "u ck are you talkin$ a#out1V =ae Sun$ shrunk #ack a #it in response to our starin$ Y2ny'ays, noA ,ou canVt have themAY Seun$ (i crossed his arms de"iantly in "ront o" Seun$ Hyun Y&hey are mine "orever Y Y,ou canVt keep me a'ay "rom them "oreverA ! H2TE (!<H&S Y Y.H2& &,LE O- (!<H&S1 2(E ,OD &HE O5E .HO S&2,E= DL 233 5!<H& 2& &HE LO&&E(, &2C!5<FFY Y,OD S2!= &H2& ! =!=5V& H2TE &O BE &HE(EA ,OD S2!= &H2&FFY YE5OD<HAY ! "ound mysel" standin$ in #et'een Seun$ (i and Seun$ Hyun 'ith my arms out stretched Y&his is stupidA ,ouVre ar$uin$ over potsAY ! va$uely heard =ae Sun$ let out a 6uiet, VOhhhhV #e"ore Seun$ (i "inally said, Y-ineA .e can settle this later Y He then turned to'ards me 'ith his arms crossed a$ain, YBut, please tell me 'hy you didnVt #other to call me a"ter your leap 'ith &ae ,an$1 2nd 'hy you didnVt "eel the need to call me and tell me there 'ere no sparks1Y &he mentionin$ o" &ae ,an$ 6uickly dre' Seun$ Hyun and =ae Sun$ into the conversation and all thou$hts a#out pots and #a#ies "rom Cam#odia 'ere "or$otten: Y.H2&1 ,ou 'ent out on a date 'ith his #est "riend1 .H2222&1 .hat a#out 9i ,on$1Y Y,OD &OOC 2 3E2L1 (E233,1 2 3E2L1 ,OD 3!S&E5E= &O &HE D5!TE(SE1Y ! looked #ack and "orth "rom the ea$er "aces in "ront o" me Y!FF!FFthisFF'hy do ! need to ;usti"yFFY YC25 ,OD 233 L3E2SE BE ZD!E&1 ! C25V& HE2( E, O.5 TO!CEAY .e all turned around to see a livid Ein H'an standin$ in "ront o" his apartment door He 'as dressed in 'hite ro#es that made him look like a potato sack *'hich is pro#a#ly a $ood thin$ #ecause he has $one up 4 pant si)es+ and 'as holdin$ several sheets o" paper Y,ouVre all O3=E( than me, tooA &H!S !S E, -!(S& SO3O 2& &HE CHD(CH 25=FFheeeey, hyun$AY Ein H'an had suddenly pointed at =ae Sun$ Y.hen are you comin$ #ack to church1 2ll the a;uhmmas are askin$ 'here you are1 Llus, they keep tellin$ me to #rin$ you #ack anFFY YSO((,, SO((,A !5 &HE E!==3E O- 2 TE(, !ELO(&25& CO5TE(S2&!O5AY =ae Sun$ #e$an to push the three o" us into my apartment 'hile tryin$ to avoid Ein H'an ! 'as really impressed that he even had the stren$th "or that YSEE ,OD 32&E(, E!5 H.25AY Be"ore he could even respond, =ae Sun$ had shut the door #ehind him loudly He leaned a$ainst the door and slid do'n to the "loor slo'ly Y&oo close,Y he si$hed in relie" Y2re you that desperate to never $o #ack to #ein$ a choir #oy1Y ! asked in6uirin$ly a"ter a moment o" stunned silence Y2ishAY =ae Sun$ 'aved his arms at me and $ot #ack up on his "eet Y!Vve #een sucked into that $roup "or too lon$A &hey have Ein H'an no' and heVs like t'o o" meA 3iterally Have you noticed ho' much 'ei$ht heVs $ained1 ! heard his umma complainin$ to my ummaVs "riendVs

auntVs cousin a#out ho' she had to $o out and #uy him ne' pantsAY ! tried to not look too $uilty at this point Y,eah, and he likes itA He likes the attention and he likes all the "ree co""ee and dou$hnuts andFF'hat the universe1 ,OD &OOC 2 3E2L, !VE SO L(OD=A =idnVt ! tell you the #ook 'as ama)in$1 =idnVt !1 Huh1 ,eah1 =o you 'ant a copy1Y !tVs scary ho' =ae Sun$ can talk a#out "ive di""erent thin$s in one #reath Y,ahA 2#out thatA .hat the hell is that all a#out1Y Seun$ Hyun 6uickly 'easeled his 'ay into the conversation Y! like &ae ,an$ and allFFoh, i" you see him a$ain, could you tell him to call me a#out 'here to #uy that peanut oil sauce1 ! canVt "ind it any'hereAFF#ut 'hat a#out your other #oy"riend1Y Seun$ (i almost ended up hittin$ Seun$ Hyun #ut he 6uickly moved a'ay to avoid it Y,ahA 9MF #oy"riendAY Y.hatever, 'hatever,Y he murmured in response and moved to stand next to me ! 'as a little #it surprised at Seun$ HyunVs statement Y.hat are you talkin$ a#out1 ,ouVre the one 'ho 'ent alon$ 'ith Seun$ (iVs plans to "ake date meA ,ouVre tellin$ me to think a#out 9i ,on$, now1Y Seun$ Hyun raised a palm in "ront o" Seun$ (iVs "ace #ecause he knew he 'as $oin$ to say somethin$ YBecause he 'as B32CCE2!3!5< me1 2nd, ! al'ays did think it 'as 'eird that you didnVt like like me, #ecause !Vm Choi Seun$ Hyun and no $irl doesnVt like me So the only conclusion ! could come up 'ith 'as the "act that you 'ere still hun$ over your exF#oy"riend .hy 'ould a $irl not #e interested in,Y he $estured to his entire #ody, Ythis1 &he only reason is #ecause she still loves her ex Y ! #linked Y,ou said it 'as #ecause you 'erenVt tryin$ to charm me out o" my skirt Y Y &hat, too, #utFF'hat the hell1 !tVs so o#viousA ,ou donVt like me, you donVt like &ae ,an$FF donVt kno' 'hy #ecause the man can cook a mean #o'l o" udon noodlesFFso 'ho else is there1Y YOh, 'ho cares a#out all thatA SHE &OOC 2 3E2LAY =ae Sun$ said $lee"ully Y2 3E2LLLLLL[Y Y,eah, #ut that still doesnVt explain 'hy she doesnVtFFY Y2 3EEEEEE2LAY Y,ou kno', ! donVt really "eel com"orta#le discussin$ this 'ith you t'o considerin$ !Vve only kno'n you "or less than t'o months Y ! tried to say in the most polite 'ay possi#le &'o months !t "eels a hell o" a lot lon$er, thou$h Still, my love li"e and leaps 'asnVt exactly somethin$ ! 'anted to discuss at /P 2E in the mornin$ 'ith Choi Seun$ Hyun and Can$ =ae Sun$ Seun$ Hyun and =ae Sun$ stopped talkin$ and $ave me identical stunned expressions Y2re you serious1 .e took leaps to$etherA Expressed our issues and sent out messa$es to the universe to$etherAY Y!Vm pretty sure 'eVve experienced more thin$s to$ether in the past 4 months than you ever

have 'ith anyone else Y Seun$ (i cou$hed out loud Y.ell except "or him,Y Seun$ Hyun pointed at Seun$ (i over his shoulder, Y#ut heVs a manipulative, little #itcFFY Y25= &H!S !S .H, ,OD C255O& H2TE &HE LO&S ,ou ver#ally a#use meA ,ouVll pro#a#ly end up physically a#usin$ our #a#ies Y YStop talkin$ like you created them "rom your nonFexistent 'om#AY Seun$ Hyun ar$ued Y2nd &?m ver#ally a#usive1 ! clearly remem#er ,OD "orcin$ me to do many thin$s a$ainst my 'ill1Y Seun$ (i $asped out loud and held a hand a$ainst his chest Y,OD S2!= ,OD 3!CE= !& Y Y! .2S -2C!5< !& 2 "e' s'eet 'ords and you 'ere done "or Y YOD( (E32&!O5SH!L .2S B2SE= O5 3!ES1Y Y&here never .2S a relatioFFY Y<D,SA C23E =O.5 Y ! tried to #rin$ #ack the peace 'ithin the apartment, #ut the 'ay that Seun$ (i and Seun$ Hyun 'ere $larin$ at one another, ! donVt think it 'as $oin$ to come #ack any time soon Y,eah, honestly, all this #ad ener$y is ;ust $oin$ to attract more #ad ener$y,Y =ae Sun$ said cheer"ully Y,ou need positive ener$y to #rin$ in positive ener$yAY Seun$ (i turned his shocked expression to'ards me and pointed at =ae Sun$ 'ith his thum#, as i" he 'as sayin$, V.here did you "ind him1V ! shook my head to dismiss the situation and then picked up the plate o" cupcakes *that ! had ;ust noticed+ Seun$ (i had #rou$ht over YCupcake1Y Hey, cupcakes solve all o" li"eVs cra)y pro#lems includin$ #ickerin$ couple "i$hts Seun$ (i and Seun$ Hyun continued lookin$ at me 'ith the same stony expressions Okay, may#e cupcakes 'onVt "ix todayVs pro#lem Y.hy 'ould you $ive him,Y Seun$ (i had turned around to $ive Seun$ Hyun a dark look #e"ore continuin$ on, Yone o" my cupcakes1 He doesnVt deserve it L""t Y YSeeA SeeAY Seun$ Hyun #e$an to 'ildly point at the youn$er #oy YSee ho' sel"ish he is1 He 'onVt share cupcakes He 'onVt share my #a#ies 'ith me He #lackmails people "or his o'n sel"Fcentered reasons SE3-!SH, SE3-!SH, SE3-!SH Y YOC2,, ! .!33 SE(!ODS3, CD&FFY YS&OL &HE E2=5ESS Y Seun$ (i, Seun$ Hyun and ! 6uickly turned to look at =ae Sun$ He had #een 6uietly "ollo'in$ the ar$ument as i" it 'as a tennis match? t'istin$ his head "rom le"t to ri$ht 'henever someone

'as speakin$ He no' had #oth palms on the counter and looked the most an$ry ! had ever seen him =ae Sun$ doesnVt $et mad He $ets extremely 'eirdly happy and extremely depressed, #ut this 'as a di""erent side to him YEy personal ener$y level is at a $ood #alance, and this,Y he $estured around the room, Yis not helpin$ Y &he room 'as silent "or a "e' seconds until Seun$ (i turned to me and said, YSeriously, 'here did you "ind him1Y =ae Sun$ let out an a$$ravated si$h and thre' his hands up in the air in "rustration Y,u (i, ! ;ust 'ant my #ook Y Hesitantly, ! pointed to the co""ee ta#le in the livin$ room Y(i$ht, 'hen you t'o,Y he pointed at Seun$ (i and Seun$ Hyun, Y"i$ure out your t'isted custody #attle, call me #ack !Vll #e "i$urin$ out ho' to $et my $ood ener$y vi#es #ack Y .ith that, he padded over to'ards the #ook and made himsel" com"orta#le in the seat #y placin$ the pink #lanket on his lap YDm, okay,Y ! "inally said to the t'o remainin$ #oys Y!s this issue ;ust a#out your, urm, #a#ies1Y Y5O Y Y,ES Y &his 'as $oin$ to #e one o" those days Y(i$ht, then 'hatVs it a#out1Y !t "elt "unny to #e re"ereein$ this ar$ument #et'een the t'o o" them Y&HE L!C&D(ES Y Y&HE B2B!ES Y ! ru##ed my temples in a circular motion Eay#e ! should ;oin =ae Sun$ in the livin$ room and "i$ure out ho' to achieve $ood ener$y #alances Y! know you posted those pictures on the internetA 3eopard print under'ear sales has $one do'n KJAY Seun$ Hyun accused Seun$ (i 'ith a shaky "in$er !n response, he rolled his eyes at him Y&chA 3eopard print is tackyA 2nd itVs a phase thatVs slo'ly dyin$ Even Bi$ Ban$ canVt #rin$ it #ack and $od kno's their stylist needs to #e shot Y YSEEA ,ouVre not even denyin$ puttin$ up the picturesA E, -D&D(E EO=E3!5< C2(FFY Y! didnVt post your pictures upA 2nimal print is $oin$ out o" styleA !" you read Elle, To$ue, and 5ylon you 'ould C5O. thisAY &he "amiliar silence in the apartment made itsel" present a$ain &his time it 'as "or completely di""erent reasons Seun$ Hyun #e$an to a'k'ardly shi"t his 'ei$ht "rom one le$ to another, 'hile Seun$ (i continued lookin$ like his arro$ant sel"

YSo you really didn?t post up any o" the pictures1Y Seun$ Hyun said to the "loor He tried to make it look like the most normal thin$ in the 'orld, #ut he 'as ;ust naturally a'k'ard Seun$ (i $ave an exasperated si$h YO#viously not ! can #e mean, devious and vindictive #ut !Vm not cruel Y He said this as i" it 'as the most o#vious thin$ in the 'orld Y (i$ht, 'ell, um,Y Seun$ Hyun #e$an to t'iddle his thum#s and still re"used to look up "rom the "ascinatin$ tiled "loors YDh, 'ell thanks Y &his 'as such an a'k'ard exchan$e 2musin$, #ut a'k'ard ! couldVve lau$hed at his lame apolo$y and ;ust ho' out o" place he seemed, #ut ! shouldnVt ! need karma points, you kno' Seun$ (i almost looked taken #ack at his unexpected apolo$y, #ut he 6uickly composed himsel" Y,ou $uys should hu$ it outAY ! said $lee"ully 'ith palms to$ether <ood #ye, karma points Seun$ HyunVs eyes literally popped open YCyahh, no thanks Y Seun$ (i made his most dis$usted "ace and pointed to his dress shirt Y!Vm not 'rinklin$ this shirt Y Y,2,A Hu$s e6ual $ood ener$y vi#es and 'e all kno' 'e need more o" thatAY =ae Sun$ yelled out happily "rom the livin$ room Be"ore Seun$ (i and Seun$ Hyun could even protest, =ae Sun$ had char$ed at the t'o and enveloped the #oth o" them in a hu$e hu$ YCan you "eel the positive ener$y vi#ratin$ throu$h your #ones1Y =ae Sun$ mana$ed to yell out over the other t'o #oysV cries Y=ude, $et offA ! can "eel the positive ener$y and a lot o" other stuff, tooAY Y.atch the shirtA .2&CH &HE SH!(&AY Oh, this 'as too "unny Ho' o"ten do you see three #oys hu$$in$ out their pro#lems1 Hardly ever 'hich is 'hy ! must lau$h .ho cares a#out karma points !Vll ;ust hide some cupcakes "rom Ein H'an the next time he comes over YB32(<H C39=-A &HE SH!(&A !- ! SEE 2 S!5<3E .(!5C3EFFY Y&OO C3OSE, &OO C3OSEAY Y&he $ood vi#es, $uysA &he $ood vi#esAY ! should pro#a#ly #reak this up soon 2 dis$runtled Seun$ (i is #ad, #ut a dis$runtled Seun$ (i 'ith a 'rinkled dress shirt is very #ad YOkay, okaFF=ae Sun$, 'atch 'here youVre s6uishin$ yoursel" a$ainstAY ! tried to physically remove =ae Sun$ a'ay "rom the other t'o, #ut he seemed to #e 'ay into "eelin$ the $ood vi#rations !t came to a point 'here ! ;ust had to dra$ him a'ay YOh, my $od,Y Seun$ (i mana$ed to cou$h out 'hile re$ainin$ normal #reathin$ Y,ou 'ere never this happy durin$ pottery class Y Y&his 'as #e"ore he came to his epiphany,Y ! told him and then looked to'ards Seun$ Hyun and =ae Sun$, YOkay, no' that thatVs solved, you $uys can $o and leave myFFY

Y.ait,Y Seun$ Hyun held up a hand to stop me, Yyou didnVt ans'er our 6uestions Y =ae Sun$ nodded ea$erly Y! 'ant to hear a#out this leapAY ! si$hed heavily ! could already "eel a headache comin$ on Y!tVs kinda 'eird to #e talkin$ a#out this Especially to you t'o1Y =ae Seun$ and Seun$ Hyun $ave one another appalled looks .hat came next 'as an astonishin$ history o" the past three months: Y!Vm pretty sure !Vve $iven you more lip action than youVve had in months Y Y.eVve #een on more than a hand"ul o" "orced dates Y Y,ou kno' all a#out my "ailed attempts at relationships that #e$an at the a$e o" six Eind you, ! donVt share that in"ormation 'ith ;ust any#ody, 'ell except "or that time 'e 'ent to that random $roup meetin$ 'ith 4P or so people But other than that, !Vm 6uite a private person Y Y,ou almost killed me 'ith your cupcakes Y Y.eVve taken leaps to$ether 3E2LSAY Y,ou have heard a#out my love "or the colour #lue in poem "orm Y Y.eVve endured Hee 9in to$ether Y Y.e 'ent speed datin$ to$ether 'hich is the lo'est "orm o" desperation Y YHeyA ! 'ent, too Y Y Oh, ri$ht, uh, sorry .ell, 'e youVve seen me in my under'earAY Y,eah, and youVveFF.H2&1Y =ae Sun$ 6uickly looked at Seun$ Hyun and then to me He then started to point his "in$ers at the #oth o" us and sputtered incoherent 'ords Y,ou and him1 Dnder'ear1 .hat1Y ! shook my head li$htly Y5o, noA !tVs not like thatA !tVs a lon$ storyAY ! looked at the #oys in "ront o" me and si$hed &hey did have a point .e have endured 6uite a #it in the past t'o months to$ether Y-ine ! ;ust didnVt "eel a spark 'ith him, okay1 HeVs too much o" a "riend and heVs 9i ,on$Vs #est "riend and ! didnVt have any matches to li$ht up a "ire so there couldnVt #e a #la)e or a "ire or a spark and ;ustFFthere 'as no spark, okay1AY ! had no idea 'hy ! sounded so cra)y Y ,eah, okay, and you ;ust mentioned 9i ,on$ Y Y5OO52A ,OD S2!= HE .2S 9! ,O5<VS BES& -(!E5=, 2<2!5AY Y,ou took a leapA &he universe 'ill re'ard you Y ! s'ear the "act that ! mentioned &ae ,an$ as 9i ,on$Vs #est "riend 'as purely accidental &rust me, the #ook is closed on me and 9i ,on$ 3ike ho' ,u (i and cupcakes $o to$ether, 9i ,on$ and &ae ,an$ $o to$ether !tVs ;ust one o" those thin$s that you unconsciously have in$rained in your head !t doesnVt mean anythin$ 2t all YOh my $odA .hy canVt you ;ust understand that there 'asnVt a sparkAY ! looked to'ards Seun$ (i Y!Vm sorry i" ! donVt "eel "or &ae ,an$ 'hat you "eel 'hen you see an ar$yle print s'eater on saleAY ! then looked at Seun$ Hyun YSorry i" ! donVt "eel the same connection 'ith &ae ,an$ as you do 'hen you "irst sa' Soo Ha Y 2nd "inally, ! $lanced at =ae Sun$Vs smilin$ "ace Y2nd !Vm very sorry thatFFoh 'ait, haha, youVre ;ust $lad that ! took a leap So um, ! hope you and that 'aitress are happy1Y Seun$ (i mum#led somethin$ a#out comparin$ love to ar$yle print s'eaters =ae Sun$ continued smilin$ at me and looked close to hu$$in$ me

Seun$ Hyun on the other hand "ro'ned Y,eah, a#out that, Soo Ha and ! !, 'ell, ! kinda ;ust $ave up Y Seun$ Hyun murmured a"ter the silence had $one on "or a "e' more seconds ! 'hipped my head to'ards him Y.hat1 .hat a#out your ama)ing connection and all that crap1Y Y,eah, that died the second ! "ound out she 'as Hee 9inVs sister Y !" ! had #een eatin$ somethin$, ! 'ouldVve spit it out o" my mouth and it 'ouldVve #een on Choi Seun$ Hyun ! didnVt even kno' that Hee 9in had a sister &he thou$ht 'as a #it scary ! think ! understood 'here Seun$ Hyun 'as comin$ "rom .e already kne' ho' Hee 9in 'as, ima$ine ho' her sister 'ould #e But then a$ain, you canVt ;ud$e someone #ased on 'ho their si#lin$s 'ere, ri$ht1 YSo you $ave up on her ;ust #ecause she 'as Hee 9inVs sister1Y Seun$ (i looked a#solutely shocked at Seun$ HyunVs revelation Y&hat is the most messed up thin$ ! have ever heard in my li"e 5ot only that #ut ridiculously ;ud$mental Y Y5ooooooo,Y =ae Sun$ interrupted 'ith added on hand $estures "or extra emphasis YSoo Ha is ;ust as cra)y, trust us &hatVs one o" the main reasons 'hy 'eVre here 2pparently, Hee 9in "ound out a#out my ne' $irl"riend, 3indaFF! can call her my $irl"riend, ri$ht1 Even thou$h itVs only #een one date .ait, am ! rushin$ thin$s1 2m ! lettin$ history repeat itsel"1 2m ! over thinkin$ thin$s1Y =ae Sun$Vs voice #ecame even more "rantic and anxious Y&his 'as supposed to #e a ne' startA Omona[Y ! placed my hands on =ae Sun$Vs shoulders #e"ore he collapsed on to the $round YCalm do'n, =ae Sun$A ,ouVre $oin$ to $ive yoursel" a premature stroke i" you continue thisA 25= your #ad ener$y levels 'ill resur"ace and the universe does not 'ant that Y =ae Sun$ nodded and tried to pull himsel" to$ether ! sa' Seun$ (i out o" the corner o" my eye and his expression ;ust screamed: .HE(E =O ,OD -!5= &HESE LEOL3E, 5OO521 Y(i$ht, any'ays, 'e,Y he $estured to #oth him and Seun$ Hyun, Yand 3inda 'ere at the pottery store ! #umped into Seun$ Hyun there #ecause he 'as lookin$ "or the red striped pot he made a 'eek a$oFFY YSLE2C!5< O- .H!CH,Y Seun$ HyunVs loud voice echoed throu$h the room He looked at Seun$ (i in the eye, Y! do 5O& remem#er sayin$ that you could have that pot Y Seun$ (i $asped dramatically and tried to pu"" his chest out Y,ou didnVt even make it Y Seun$ Hyun looked ready to retaliate #ut =ae Sun$ 6uickly interrupted, Y2ny'aysA 2s 'e 'ere leavin$, 'e sa' Hee 9in and Soo Ha standin$ outside and oh my $od, i" you thou$ht Hee 9in had the cra)ies, Soo Has has the urm psychos &he 'ay she 'as talkin$ a#out this #oy in her class, omonaA ! have to say, !Vm happy that Hee 9in is my o#sesser and not Soo Ha Y YShe seemed so normal 'hen she talked to me,Y Seun$ Hyun said in a sad tone

Y,ou didnVt talk to her,Y ! corrected him Y,ou stared at her "rom a"ar and #e$an a stalkin$ $ame Y !n return, he $lared at me YShut up Y Y.ell, that ended Seun$ HyunVs connection 'ith Soo Ha 6uite "ast,Y =ae Sun$ said 'ith an amused $rin Y5o' all that 'as le"t 'as to $et out o" the store 'ithout Hee 9in spottin$ us ! told 3inda to use the #ack exit so that Hee 9in 'ouldnVt end up skinnin$ her alive 'hile Seun$ Hyun and ! tried to stealthily exit the store Y YSo 'hat happened1 !t seems like a noF"ail plan Y !t didA 9ust tip toe out o" the store and then run like hell Y.ell, it 'as supposed to #e a noF"ail plan, #ut this $uy,Y he ;erked his thum# at Seun$ Hyun, Y;ust had to trip over the one step that led outside Y Y.ho puts one "reakin$ step in "ront o" a store1 O5E1 5ot even a hi$h oneA 9ust a lo' oneAY Seun$ Hyun had suddenly "ound the need to explain himsel" YO#viously someone is $oin$ to trip and "all stomach "irst onto the $roundAY ! smirked Seun$ Hyun really doesnVt have the #est luck 'ith stairs YSo 'e 'ere o#viously "ound out a"ter that Hee 9in turned around and yelled out somethin$ a#out kno'in$ a#out 3inda and yeah, ! didnVt $et the rest #ecause a"ter that 'e ;ust ran like hell to here,Y =ae Sun$ "inished the story 'ith a nervous smile His eyes then 6uickly scanned the kitchen #ehind me Seun$ Hyun nodded Y,eah, so itVs hi$hly possi#le that Hee 9in 'ill #e payin$ you a visit very soon Y Y&hatVs 'hy my ener$y levels are so im#alancedAY =ae Sun$ cried out unexpectedly He pointed to'ards the over"lo'in$ $ar#a$e #in ! sli$htly crin$ed at the si$ht o" it ! 'as going to take the trash out today, #ut itVs such a lon$ 'alk do'n those eleven "li$hts o" stairs and comin$ #ack up thatVs another eleven "li$hts and okay, !Vm ;ust la)y But ! really 'as $oin$ to $et to itA Y2n unclean home is a #ad ener$y home, ! hope you kno' that Y =ae Sun$ 'ent over to the #in and #e$an tyin$ up the #a$ 'hile murmurin$ a#out the universe and #ad chi or somethin$ 'hile the three o" us looked on He continued his murmurin$s even 'hen he had thro'n the lar$e #a$ over his shoulder and made his 'ay out the kitchen Even 'hen he 'alked passed us, his $a)e 'as dead set on the door and takin$ out the $ar#a$e to make my home a $ood chi )one .hen the door slammed shut #ehind =ae Sun$, Seun$ (i turned to look at me YSeriously, 'here did you "ind him1Y ! $ave him a hal" shru$ Y.ait, 'ait, 'ait,Y Seun$ Hyun slo'ly said, Yso youVre not 'ith &ae ,an$1Y ! shook my head

Y2nd youVre not 'ith 9i ,on$1Y 2$ain, ! shook my head .here exactly 'as this $oin$1 YHuh, and !Vm not 'ith any#ody Y He #e$an to tap his temple, $ently 2"ter a "e' moments, his "ace #roke out into a sly $rin that 'as reminiscent o" a Cheshire cat Y.ell, !Vm Er Choi &OL FF the illest man youVve ever met Y Y=id you ;ust say illest1Y ! asked in a $rave tone !$norin$ my comment, he continued on, Y!, Choi &OL, am tellin$ you, Cim ,u (i, that ! am one hundred percent tryin$ to $et into your skirt Startin$ no' Y Excuse me1 Y .H2&1Y &hat 'as so out o" the #lue1

Y,ou said ! couldnVt charm you out o" your skirt the last time 'e metA 2nd no', !Vm tellin$ you that ! am Since you clearly have no one, no', and ! have no one, 'e mi$ht as 'ell $et to$ether Y He said this as i" it 'as the most lo$ical thin$ on earth Y.hat1 !Vm not some kind o" pity caseA 2nd ! have no interest in you, 'hatsoever 2nd you have none in meA .hat happened to i" Veven i" there 'as a nuclear #om# and ,u (i and ! 'ere the only human #ein$s le"t in the 'orld, ! 'ould never, ever, never in a millionFFVY YLish poshAY He thre' his hands up in disre$ard Y! lied <uys are easy, like incredi#ly easy .e have no standards Y =id he actually say Vpish poshV1 SomeoneVs #een han$in$ out 'ith Seun$ (i, too much Y,ou are makin$ no sense,Y ! told him simply Y! a$ree 'ith noona ! had to #lackmail you into datin$ herA 5o' youVre $oin$ to do it "or "ree1Y Seun$ (i shrieked out loud Y=o you kno' ho' hard it 'as to $et those pictures o" you1Y Y,ou are cra)y =onVt even think a#out it -ind another $irl that you have a connection 'ith,Y ! said 6uickly Y,ou said that ! couldnVt charm you out o" your skirt and !, Choi &OL, take o""ense to that Y He replied 'ith his arms crossed YSo this is ;ust some male e$o #oost thin$1Y Boys are so stupid Seun$ Hyun looked like he had a semiF$ood reply to shoot #ack 'ith, 'hen a knock 'as heard on the door &earin$ my $a)e a'ay "rom him, ! narro'ed my eyes at the door YHm, that #etter not #e Hee 9in,Y ! murmured 5ot 'antin$ to continue this ridiculous conversation, ! 'alked over to the door Eay#e =ae Sun$ had "or$otten somethin$ Y&rust meA !" you 'ore skirts and not ho#o like thin$s, itVd #e o""AY ! heard him shout "rom #ehind

Y(i$ht, you keep thinkin$ that Y ! nodded at Seun$ Hyun, and then turned #ack around to the door YHeyA ,ou kno' ! could i" ! put my all into itAY he yelled #ack YShut upA -ind someone else other than noona that you can $o and try and steal pots 'ith,Y ! heard Seun$ (i ar$ue ! $ot to the door and t'isted the kno# open 'hile shoutin$ over my shoulder, Y,eah, okayA ,ou $uys are soFFoh, hey Y &his 'as de"initely a surprise &he person standin$ in "ront o" me 'as not =ae Sun$ nor Hee 9in 2lthou$h, ! kind o" 'ish it 'as

Chapter -ourteen, Lart &'o

YHeyyyy,Y ! tried to say as coolly as possi#le, and not a'k'ardFlike at all Cey 'ord: tried YHey Y &ae ,an$ stood there 'ith the usual smile on his "ace and #ase#all hat tilted to the side ! al'ays 'ondered ho' that hat stood in place !" ! 'ent around 'alkin$ 'ith a tilted #all cap to the sideFFother than $ettin$ a lecture "rom Seun$ (i a#out poor "ashion tastesFFthat hat 'ould #e "allin$ all over the place Y.hat are you doin$ here1Y &hat sounded a #it too #lunt 5ormal conversations 'ouldVve started o"" 'ith a not a'k'ard VhiV and then "ollo'ed #y a Vho' are you1V 'hich 'ould then proceed 'ith a V'hat are you doin$ here1V ,ou canVt skip lines or you ;ust come o"" as 'eird and rude &here needs to #e classes on the art o" conversation ! think ! 'ould #ene"it "rom those $reatly 2lthou$h, can you really #lame me "or #ein$ a'k'ard1 3ess than 4Q hours a$o, ! had ;ust ;umped o"" a #rid$e and completely #le' out the spark that &ae ,an$ had "or me 2lthou$h, 'e #oth had a$reed to ;ust stay "riends, situations like these can never $o #ack to ho' they ori$inally 'ere .ell, they can, #ut not as 6uickly and easily ! kno' that &ae ,an$ and ! 'ill eventually $o #ack to the time 'hen he 'ould #ake me cupcakes and #urn hal" o" his hat collection do'n ;ust #ecause Seun$ (i 'as out o" to'n, #ut ;ust not yet (i$ht no', it 'as still weird ! over complicate thin$s ! kno' YDm, ! actually came to $ive you #ack this Y Ori$inally, he had had his arms #ehind him, #ut no' t'istin$ his arm "or'ards, he held out somethin$ "or me Ey red hat that Seun$ (i loves to continually mock me "or 'as held ti$htly in his $rasp Y,ou le"t this in 9ulia last ni$ht Y Ooooh YDh, thanks,Y ! mana$ed to say and reached out to take my u$ly red hat #ack 9ust like at the river last ni$ht, our "in$ers #rie"ly touched and ;ust like last ni$ht, no si$n o" an electrocutin$ spark 'as evident -or a "e' seconds, a really a'k'ard silence surrounded us ! 'ish ! 'asnVt the 'eird, a'k'ard ,u (i that everyone kno's ! 'ish ! 'as a super perky, lova#le, extremely "riendly, per"ect ,u (i !" that ,u (i existed, ! 'ould not #e standin$ here lookin$ at my 'orn out shoes *really, ! need ne' shoes soon+ and #ein$ all extremely a'k'ard !nstead, ! 'ould #e a#le to $o #ack to

the lovin$ and platonic relationship that &ae ,an$ and ! had shared a "e' months a$o ! had no dou#t that one day it 'ould $o #ack to that, ;ust not today But at least, ! could try1 Eay#e1 YSo peanut oilFFY Y,u (i, ! kno' thiFFY .e #oth stopped and ! literally 'ish ! couldVve ;ust hit my head a$ainst the 'all .hat the hell1 ! 'as a#out to talk to him a#out peanut oil1 YHahaha, you $o "irst !tVs pro#a#ly more important Y ! said 'ith my usual nervous lau$h Leanut oil HonestlyA &ae ,an$ $rinned at me Y! donVt kno' Leanut oil is pretty serious Y Hey, at least 'e 'ere ;okin$ around 'ith each other Sort o" .hatever Humour is a $ood thin$ ! mana$ed to smile #ack 'ithout lookin$ completely stupid !n return, &ae ,an$Vs "ace still held the same smile, #ut he seemed more serious no' Y2#out yesterday Y Ey $rin "ro)e in place ! hope he 'asnVt $oin$ to say somethin$ that 'ould completely disrupt the natural order o" thin$s 5atural order #ein$ that Seun$ (i 'ould al'ays #e "lam#oyant and #ake me cupcakes instead o" #rin$in$ me chocolate made o" to"u 5atural order #ein$ Seun$ Hyun continuin$ to #e the "ree loader that he is *!Vm 6uite sure heVs #e$un eatin$ hal" o" my "rid$e #y no'+ and never #ein$ my si$ni"icant other 5atural order #ein$ =ae Sun$ continuin$ to #e his normally depressFoh 'ait, that natural order has already #een disrupted Dm, letVs skip him 5atural order "or &ae ,an$ 'ould #e him stickin$ in the "riends cate$ory and completely o""in$ that s'itch ,eah &hatVs 'hat ! mean #y natural order Y !t didnVt chan$e anythin$, ri$ht1Y he asked in a 6uiet voice He looked so unsure and a #it scared o" my ans'er ! si$hed in response 5ot #ecause ! didnVt kno' 'hat to say #ut #ecause o" "rustration Honestly, thin$s 'ould #e so easy i" ! could ;ust take a $od damn leap 'ith &ae ,an$ Ey #rain and hormones 'ere sayin$ that messa$e to me, #ut my heart 'as sayin$ other'ise YO" course not,Y ! told him ! $enuinely meant it &hin$s may #e a'k'ard at the moment, #ut ! had no dou#t in my mind that in the "uture, 'e could return to 'here 'e 'ere !t 'as ;ust $oin$ to take a #it o" time He looked relieved at my ans'er Y&hatVs really $ood to hear Y &he $rin on his "ace suddenly "altered Y2nd, 'ell, even thou$h you and 9i ,on$ are #roken up and you and ! are o#viously 'ell, never mind a#out us, #ut ! ;ust 'anted to say that 'hoever that $uy you kissed the other day, 'ell ! honestly hope thatFFY Y.ait,Y ! suddenly stopped him YHold on ! never kissed any random #oys &ae ,an$ looked really con"used Y ,eah, you did Y Y

Y5ooo Y .ait, did !1 &he past "e' months have #een pretty cra)y !Vve heard that insanity can cause #rie" lapses in memory !Vm pretty sure ! havenVt #een makin$ out 'ith random $uys

Y,eah, you did,Y he ar$ued, li$htly Y&hat one day at the ca"e Y Y5o, !Vm 6uite sure thatFFooooh Y Crap ! did kiss a random #oy, #ut he 'asnVt randomA YDh, yeah, that 'as de"initely =ae Sun$ Y &ae ,an$ didnVt really look convinced 2lthou$h, he really should have #ecause he has kno'n =ae Sun$ lon$er than ! have and he must #e "amiliar 'ith his kissin$ monster tendencies YSerioiuslyA !t 'as =ae Sun$ that day,Y ! tried to explain the situation to him ! 'asnVt one to $o around kissin$ #oys ! didnVt kno' .ell, =ae Sun$ 'as the only exception Y!tVs okay, ,u (i,Y he tried to say Y,ou can say i" you kissed another $uy Y .hy 'as he so stu##orn1 Y5o, seriously, it 'as =ae Sun$AY Y,ou kno' 'hat1 3E& EE .OO ,OD !Vm a "reakin$ under'ear modelA Ey male e$o has taken a slayin$ and it needs to #e strooookedFFhey, &ae ,an$A .hy are you here1Y Seun$ Hyun, clearly still upset over my re;ection o" his courtin$, had suddenly sho'n up #ehind me YOh, ri$htA Be"ore ! "or$etA .here the hell do you #uy your peanut oil1 !tVs impossi#le to "ind the ri$ht oneAY YOh, heyAY &ae ,an$ looked really happy to see his "ello' udon lover, and seemed to have "or$otten a#out our conversation Y&hose #ottles are every 'hereA Have you $one to the one #eside the noodleFFY Y,ahA Stop harassin$ noonaA &he only strokin$ youVre $oin$ to #e doin$ is "or our pots 'hen you dust, clean andFFhyun$, 'hy are you here1Y Seun$ (i had also decided to make his presence kno'n at this point, as 'ell Everyone has ;ust $reat timin$, donVt they1 Everyone includin$ =ae Sun$ #ecause 'hen &ae ,an$ 'as a#out to reply, he ended up poppin$ up #eside us YHey, 'hyVs everyone cro'ded around theFFheeeeey &ae ,an$A &he man o" the hourA &he leaper o" the leapsA &he universe holderA &he okay, ! ran out o" metaphors #ut 'hat #rin$s you here1Y He then leaned in closer to'ards &ae ,an$ to 'hisper, Y&his place is "illed 'ith #ad ener$yA <et out 'hile you still canAY ! resisted the ur$e to smack =ae Sun$ !nstead ! smiled $reatly at him, Y=ae Sun$, can you please tell &ae ,an$ that you 'ere the one 'ho kissed me at that ca"e1Y =ae Sun$ #linked, clearly not understandin$ YHuh1Y Boys are stupid Y,ou kiss everyone, ri$ht1Y ! 'as doin$ some thin$ cra)y 'ith my eye#ro's, hopin$ he 'ould $et the messa$e Y(i$ht, =ae Sun$1Y Once a$ain, he #linked YDh, !Vm not sure 'hat youVreFFoh, ri$htAY He "inally $ot it a"ter a very di""icult manoeuvre 'ith my le"t eye#ro' YHaha, yeahA &ae ,an$, you should kno' this #y no'A ! kiss everyoneA ! love everyoneAY He ea$erly looked to his le"t and impulsively $ra##ed Seun$ (i #y the neck and placed his lips on his and $ave him a sound kiss He then turned to Seun$ Hyun FF 'ho 'as still in a #it o" shock as to 'hat =ae Sun$ 'as doin$ FF and repeated the same action =ae Sun$ then released him and reached out to &ae ,an$ 'ith open arms, #ut he had

#acked a'ay, sli$htly YDh, itVs alri$htA ! think ! understand ho' much you love me "rom, urm a distance,Y &ae ,an$ said nervously, clearly re$rettin$ the "act that he had #rou$ht up the situation Y,o, 'hat the hell 'as that1Y Seun$ Hyun #rie"ly touched his lips #e"ore yellin$ at =ae Sun$ Y.hy does everyone insist that !Vm $ay1 9ust #ecause ! care a#out my outside appearance, have a "ondness "or "ashion and "ood, and am very in touch 'ith my "eminine side, doesnVt mean ! 'ant to #e randomly kissed #y menAY Seun$ (i mana$ed to sputter out He did look a #it da)ed thou$h Y!FF'ellFF!Vm the kissin$ monster1Y =ae Sun$ su$$ested 'eakly 2ll three #oys continued $ivin$ =ae Sun$ very skeptical looks 'hile ! tried not to #urst out lau$hin$ Oh, yeah, #ad karma is de"initely $oin$ to come my 'ay soon Y!FF;ustFFaishA ,ou should appreciate my kissesA &hey have #rou$ht $ood ener$y into this hall'ay and apartmentA !tVs a si$n o" loveA ,eesh, no one appreciates me, at allAY =ae Sun$ shoved Seun$ Hyun aside, so that he could make his 'ay #ack into the apartment YDm, yeah,Y 'as the only thin$ &ae ,an$ mana$ed to say Y&hat 'as interestin$,Y Seun$ Hyun murmured YHeVs a pretty $ood kisser,Y Seun$ (i said to himsel" &he rest o" us looked on at Seun$ (i 'ith sudden interest and shock Y.H2&1 =onVt discriminateA <ood kissers are hard to come #yA Boy or $irlA 2ish, 'hatever Y 2$ain, Seun$ Hyun 'as pushed to the side, so that Seun$ (i could reFenter the apartment Y,ahA !Vm not an o#;ect that you can push aroundAY Seun$ Hyun yelled at Seun$ (i "rom the outside Y! am a human #ein$, dammitAY =onVt lau$h, ,u (i, donVt lau$h ,ou need $ood karma Y,OD =!= 5O& 9DS& C233 EE 2FFY Seun$ Hyun tried to compose himsel" a"ter Seun$ (i had ;ust called him a nasty name "rom the kitchen He turned to look at us and tried to look as normal as possi#le Y,eah, !Vm $oin$ to have to $o andFFoh, 'ait, &ae ,an$, could you $ive me the place o" 'here you #uy peanut oil1 !tVs all !Vve #een thinkin$ a#out these daysAY &ae ,an$ chuckled Y,eah, sure ,u (i can $ive you my cell and you can text me or somethin$ Y ! should #ecome a match maker ! #rou$ht to$ether &ae ,an$ and Seun$ Hyun and no' they can #ond over their love "or udon and peanut oil !Vm #rilliant, really Seun$ Hyun #eamed at his response #e"ore 'alkin$ into my apartment and yellin$ out somethin$ very mean to Seun$ (i 2h, #oys

&ae ,an$ and ! 'ere "inally alone in the hall'ay once a$ain YSo 'eVre okay, ri$ht1Y He repeated the 6uestion a$ain, 'antin$ reassurance

! nodded YO" course Ho' can ! not #e okay 'ith someone 'ho tried to #ake "or me and ended up #urnin$ his entire hat collection and traumati)in$ a parrot "or li"e1Y !t 'as true, you canVt ;ust thro' a'ay someone 'ho completely destroyed his most pri)ed possession ;ust so that you could have some cupcakes YHm, that is true !" ! 'as mean, ! 'ould pro#a#ly ask you to compensate me "or all those lost hats, #ut !Vm nice,Y he said 'ith a $rin ! nodded ea$erly Y2 total $entleman Y 2$ain, he "ro)e at the mention o" the 'ord V$entlemanV He stayed silent "or a "e' seconds #e"ore noddin$ his head once Y2lri$ht Eay#e itVs time that ! head out no'1Y YOh, alri$ht,Y ! #e$an, Y,eah, okay !Vll $ive Seun$ Hyun your num#er and you $uys can #ond over peanut oil Y &hat is somethin$ ! 'ould love to see He 'as a#out to turn around and 'alk to'ards the staircase #e"ore sayin$, Y! hope thin$s 'ork out, ,u (i Y &hose 'ere his last 'ords #e"ore he disappeared into the stair'ell Hope thin$s 'ork out1 ! didnVt have time to comprehend those 'ords #ecause a loud screech 'as heard #ehind me ! 6uickly 'alked #ack into the apartment, closin$ the door 'ith my "oot #ehind me and 'as $reeted #y chaos YTE(B23 2BDSE TE(B23 2BDSE Y Y,ou deserve itA ! 'ant the red striped pot that ! madeAY Y3232323232 &his place needs to #e ener$i)ed 2S2L 32323232 !Vm a $ood person 32323232 Y Okay, this really had to stop YOh, my $odA ,ou $uysA SHD& DLAY &his 'as the "irst time that ! had yelled in a very lon$ time !t had its desired e""ect #ecause the three #oys stopped their yellin$, only to look at me Y(i$ht, okay &his little t'isted custody #attle over potsFFas in !525!E2&E OB9EC&SFFneeds to stop,Y ! tried to say in my most authoritative voice ! looked over at Seun$ (i, Y,ou need to $ive him #ack the pots he made Ho' 'ould you "eel i" the #oth o" you 'ent shoppin$ to$ether and he took all o" the ar$yle print s'eaters you #ou$ht1 Lissed, ri$ht1Y Seun$ (i $rum#led and nodded Y&H2&VS (!<H& ,ou #est #e $ivin$ me them #ack, you littleFFY Y2nd youAY ! turned around to point at Seun$ HyunVs triumphant "ace Y,ou need to stop ver#ally a#usin$ himA .ords hurt more than actions, you kno'A ! donVt think you 'ould appreciate it i" Seun$ (i started callin$ you a 'h ore and sl ut #ecause o" your choice o" ;o#s lately Y Seun$ HyunVs smirk disappeared Y(i$htA 2nd =ae Sun$,Y ! looked at the toothy $rin on his "ace YDm, yeah, you keep up your positive thinkin$ 9ust donVt move the "urniture so that itVll "it 'ith your "en$ shui Y =ae Sun$

nodded ea$erly and $ave me a thum#s up YOh, and Seun$ Hyun,Y ! 'hipped my head to'ards him, Ytrust me, youVre not $oin$ to $et into my skirt ,ou can try, #ut itVs not happenin$ ! heard thereVs another speed datin$ thin$ at Eiss 3a3aVs in a couple o" 'eeks Eay#e you can $o and possi#ly "ind someone 'hoVs not related to Hee 9in1Y He pouted in response Y.hat a 'ay to completely kill the male e$o named Choi &OL Y ! didnVt even have time to make "un o" his response, #ecause "or the second time in the day, ! heard the door#ell rin$ Y(i$ht, you "i$ure out 'ho $ets 'hat on 'eekends or 'hatever, 'hile ! ans'er the door Y ! le"t the kitchen #e"ore they could ar$ue Honestly, ! 'as dealin$ 'ith K year olds &oo cau$ht up 'ith the drama in the kitchen, ! didnVt think t'ice #e"ore openin$ the door ! really should have .hen ! opened the door, the "irst thin$ that sprun$ up in my head 'as that ! should not have lau$hed at the incident 'ith =ae Sun$ and his kissin$ monster syndrome Carma has "inally cau$ht up 'ith me Standin$ in "ront o" me in his too ti$ht ;eans, overly complicated patterned shirt and a hu$e #ox in his arms 'as none other than C'on 9i ,on$ ! 'as shocked (endered speechless Had the #reath taken a'ay "rom me Stunned ,ou $et the idea ! 'as surprised Eay#e that 'as 'hy ! ended up slammin$ the door in his "ace Shock can make you do some cra)y thin$s ! mustVve stared at the door "or too lon$ #ecause ! heard the #oys holler "rom the kitchen: Y.ho 'as that1Y Y,eah EustVve #een someone #ad i" you ;ust slammed the door on them Y Y3ike Hee 9in Y Y Or 9i ,oFFY .ait .hat did ! ;ust do1 ! had come to the door and ! opened it, then standin$ there 'as 9i ,on$ and then ! had slammedFFoh, thatVs not $ood .hen ! heard "ootsteps comin$ to'ards me "rom the kitchen, ! 6uickly turned around and $ave them an anxious expression YDm, yeah, actually, it 'as Hee 9inA ! think you $uys should, um hide in the, uh, 'ashroomA ,eah, or #edroomA .hatever you 'antA 9ust $oA HideAY &hat 'as a horri#le example o" lyin$ Horrendous !t couldVve #een spotted miles a'ay &hank"ully "or me, the "ear o" Hee 9in 'as enou$h to #lind them "rom actually seein$ my lie Y.hat1 Ho' does she kno' !Vm here1 .ho kno's 'hat sheVs $oin$ to do1A &his home doesnVt need any more #ad ener$y than it already doesAY YSheVs $oin$ to 'rinkle and rip my per"ect shirt apartA Omona, 'hy am ! such a $ood "riend1 ! shouldVve ;ust stayed home todayAY Y!Vm not even scared o" Hee 9in, ! donVt 'ant to hide in a stinky little #athroom, 'hy canVt ! #lar;$lhFFY Seun$ Hyun 'asnVt a#le to "inish his sentence, #ecause the t'o youn$er #oys had started dra$$in$ him o"" into hidin$

.hen Seun$ (i passed #y he 6uickly said, YSorry noonaA ,ouVve already #een seenA ! 'ill pray "or you, =ae Sun$ 'ill send out $ood ener$y vi#es, &OL 'ill recite a poem "or you and 'ell, $odspeed <ood luckA Okay1 Okay ByeAY He had someho' mana$ed to say all that in one #reath #e"ore disappearin$ #ehind the closed door ! 'as alone in the "ront hall'ay a$ain 2lone 'ith my cra)y thou$hts C'on 9i ,on$ 'as standin$ ri$ht outside this door that !Vm starin$ at He is literally t'o "eet a'ay "rom me .as this really happenin$1 &his could ;ust #e some cra)y dream #ut there 'as no si$n o" some $iant cupcake chasin$ a"ter me 5o, this 'as reality !" this 'asnVt reality, my heart#eat 'ould #e "unctionin$ at a normal pace not at 7PP #eats a minute !" this 'as a dream, ! 'ouldnVt #e so con"licted as to 'hat the hell to do: open the door a$ain or ;ust hope heVll $o a'ay ! 'as not ready "or this ! 'as not ready to "ace him, yet =onVt $et me 'ron$ &he closure is done, the elephant is $one and itVs ;ust done !" every thin$ 'as done, 'hy 'as ! standin$ here havin$ this conversation 'ith mysel"1 ! donVt 'ant to #e one o" those $irls 'ho $o throu$h the ;ourney and closure only to #e torn apart at the si$ht o" their exF#oy"riend 5o, ! 'as so much stron$er and smarter than that !tVs ;ust that seein$ him "elt like seein$ a $host ,ou $et so com"orta#le 'ith someone? seein$ them every day and then one day, it all ends and they disappear "rom your li"e &hen, they ma$ically appear on your doorstep !tVs unexpected and !Vm ;ust not ready "or this 9ust as ! 'as contemplatin$ on ;oinin$ the other three #oys in their hidin$ spot, three loud knocks came "rom the other side o" the door 2dded to that 'as, Y,u (i, ! kno' youVre in there ! ;ust sa' you open the door 4 minutes a$oA Open up1Y =ammit So much "or hidin$ .ell, ,u (i, i" youVre so stron$ and smart, open up that door Hesitantly, ! $rasped the door kno# slo'ly and t'isted it, allo'in$ the door to open !nch #y inch, 9i ,on$ and his odd clothin$ choice $reeted me !nstead o" an annoyed expression, he only looked amused YSlammed doors isnVt exactly the response ! $et "rom $irls Y he said 'ith a sli$ht smile 'hen the door "ully opened Humour !tVs a $ood thin$ YHahaha Y !t 'as my lame attempt at a lau$h Tery lame attempt 2n a'k'ard silence surrounded us ! opened my mouth several times to sayFF'hat did ! 'ant to say1FFsomethin$, #ut nothin$ came out &he situation 'as ;ust too odd .hy 'as he here1 Especially 'ith that ridiculously hu$e #ox ! had to 'onder ;ust ho' he mana$ed to lu$ it up // "li$hts o" stairs &he elevator really needs to $et "ixed soon .e ;ust stared at each other "or a $ood "i"teen seconds &rust me, ! counted &his 'as ;ust surreal 2lthou$h ninety ei$ht percent o" me 'as "inished 'ith him and ;ust 'anted him to say 'hatever he had to say and leave, the other t'o percent 'as sayin$ somethin$ else YDm, ! actually came to $ive you this Y 9i ,on$ "inally #roke the unsettlin$ silence #et'een us and held out the #ox in "ront o" him

Con"used, ! held out my arms to take it "rom him 2s he placed the #ox in my arms, our "in$ers sli$htly #rushed a$ainst one another and ! "elt a shock $o throu$h me 3iterally ! ended up ;umpin$ #ack a "eet a'ay "rom 9i ,on$ and lookin$ at him 'ith a stunned expression .hat 'as that1 Y2ish, sorry,Y he mum#led He 6uickly set the #ox do'n #eside him and moved to stand in "ront o" me, 'hile ! cradled my poor "in$er YStatic shock, itVs #een happenin$ every'here ! canVt even open doors 'ithout shockin$ mysel" Y He paused and re$arded me 'ith a concerned look Y2re you okay1Y He took a step closer to me, #ut ! took another step #ack YHahaha Y 2nother lame attempt at lau$hin$ Y!Vm okay, donVt 'orry Y 5o' that 'as a spark -or entirely di""erent reasons thou$h !tVs ;ust that 9i ,on$ is more prone to static shock #ecause his apartment is in an area 'here itVs dry and plus itVs 'inter so that ;ust adds on to his chances o" developin$ static shock ,eah He looked as i" he didnVt #elieve me, #ut he kept his distance #y stayin$ rooted in place Y.ell, ! ;ust 'anted to come over and $ive you #ack,Y he started to run his hand throu$h his hair nervously, Y your thin$s .e never reallyFF'ellFFitVs ;ustFFyeah, itVs ;ust a #unch o" stu"" that ! "ound around my room and ! thou$ht ! should $ive #ack Y Oh ! 'asnVt expectin$ that &hen, 'hat 'as ! expectin$1 YOh, thatVs nice o" you,Y ! mana$ed to say Eust act normal Y! donVt have any o" your stu"" packed up or anythin$ ! can $o in and see 'hat ! have andFFY YOh, no,Y he 'aved his hands in "ront o" me to decline my o""er, Y! didnVt come here to $et my stu"" #ack or anythin$ ,eah, ;ust take your time and 'hatever Y &hen 'hy 'ere you here1 Y 2lri$ht,Y ! said lamely, not kno'in$ 'hat else to say

He looked like he really 'anted to say somethin$ ! noticed that his hands kept clenchin$ and unclenchin$ into "ists, as i" he 'as tryin$ to stop himsel" "rom doin$ somethin$ !nstead o" doin$ 'hat he really 'anted to doFF'hatever that 'asFFhe ended up stu""in$ his hands into his pockets and 'alkin$ #ack to his ori$inal spot .hy 'as he soFF'hat 'as the 'ordFFcon"usin$1 .hat 'as the purpose o" this trip1 Surely, it 'asnVt to $et exercise #y clim#in$ those // "li$hts o" stairs Y.ell, ! ;ust 'anted to drop the #ox o"",Y he tilted his head to'ards the #ox on the "loor next to me ! nodded once &o #e honest, my mind 'as completely #lank Y (i$ht, ! $uess, !Vll ;ust $o1Y !t 'as like he 'as askin$ me i" he should $o or not .as there any reason 'hy ! should #e tellin$ him to stay1 &he elephantVs supposed to #e $one, ri$ht1 .hy 'ould you invite it in a$ain i" you tried so hard to $et rid o" it1 2$ain, ! ;ust nodded YOkay, !Vll talk to you later Y he slo'ly said He stood there "or a "e' more seconds !t looked like he 'as still de#atin$ 'ith himsel" as to 'hether or not he should act !n the end, he ended up turnin$ around and 'alkin$ to'ards the stair case

! didnVt kno' 'hether to #e relieved or disappointed 'hen he turned his #ack on me (elieved #ecause he 'ouldnVt #e testin$ my sel" control =isappointed #ecause, 'ell, no matter ho' many leaps ! take, dates ! $o on, a part o" me is al'ays $oin$ to #e attached to 9i ,on$ &hatVs the trou#le 'ith "irst loves? theyVre al'ays $oin$ to #e a part o" you 'hether or not you like it !t doesnVt necessarily mean that ! 'ant to #e 'ith him, itVs ;ust that you $ive your all to someone and 'hen itVs over, they still have a part o" you 'ith them and youVre not $ettin$ that part #ack Ever ! 'atched his plaid patterned ;acket 'alk "urther and "urther a'ay "rom me !Vm not $oin$ to lie, 'atchin$ him 'alk a'ay hurt !t 'asnVt the Voh, the love o" my li"e is $one, ho' am ! supposed to liveV kind o" hurt 5o !t 'as the Vseein$ someone 'hoVs #een so em#edded in my li"e "or a year 'alk a'ay "rom it "oreverV kind o" hurt ! really 'ondered i" 9i ,on$ and ! could return to ho' 'e 'ere #e"ore 'e decided to $ive datin$ a try .ould he ever #e a#le to text me in the middle o" the ni$ht 'ith a random idea "or a rhyme1 .ould he still practice in "ront o" me1 .ould he still make me try to make him lau$h #e"ore a sho' so that ! could calm his nerves1 Eay#e 5ot no', #ut may#e in the "uture ! 'as a#out to pick up the #ox and 'alk #ack inside 'hen ! sa' 9i ,on$ slo' his steps and then come to a complete stop Curious, ! stood in my spot and 'atched 'hat he 'as $oin$ to do He didnVt move, instead he ;ust stood there ! sa' his shoulders rise and "all? a si$n that he 'as takin$ deep #reaths and preparin$ himsel" ! narro'ed my eyes at the si$ht, 'hat 'as he preparin$ himsel" "or1 !n, literally, a #link o" an eye, ! $ot my ans'er One second, 9i ,on$ 'as standin$ in the middle o" the hall'ay and the next, he had turned around and 'as 6uickly 'alkin$ to'ards me He had a look o" con"usion and determination at the same time ! didnVt kno' 'hat to expect .hen he stood exactly ten centimeters a'ay "rom me, he "inally spoke, Y! donVt kno' 'hat the hell !Vm doin$ .hat am ! doin$1Y He seemed to #e talkin$ to himsel" rather than me, at this point Y&his is cra)y #ut, ! have to do somethin$ Y He took a tiny step to'ards me and cupped my round "ace 'ith his hands and tilted my head so that ! 'ould look up at him ! 'as literally "ro)en in place .hat the hell 'as he doin$1 He so"tly #rushed my cheeks 'ith the pads o" his thum#s li$htly Y! 'ould never intentionally hurt you,Y he told me so"tly His $a)e 'as intimidatin$ !Vve never seen him look at me 'ith such intensity #e"ore, as i" he 'as tryin$ to make me see 'hat he 'as sayin$ ! didnVt do anythin$ ! didnVt say anythin$ &his 'as not happenin$ ! should have pushed him a'ay, #ut 'hen a situation like this arises, thinkin$ is out o" the 6uestion His teeth nervously tu$$ed at his #ottom lip He looked to #e in some kind o" internal con"lict His $a)e kept s'itchin$ "rom my surprised eyes and do'n to my sli$htly parted lips 2 part o" me kne' 'hat he 'as $oin$ to do, #ut ! didnVt 'ant to stop it Y,u (i,Y ! heard him 'hisper .hen did he suddenly $et so close1 YSorry Y &hat so"t murmur 'as the last thin$ ! heard #e"ore he li$htly kissed me ! 'as too stunned to do anythin$ C'on 9i ,on$, exF#oy"riend 'ho made me $o into some kind o" spiritual ;ourney that involved 0PP cupcakes, 'as kissin$ me His hands had moved to the #ack o" my neck 'hile sli$htly addin$ pressure 'ith his "in$er tips Lractically every part o" me 'as tellin$ me to ;ust push him a'ay, #ut a small, tiny, dark part o" me 'anted this .anted

C'on 9i ,on$ to come cra'lin$ #ack to me and then ! could ;ust push him aside and lau$h .ell, thatVs a #it vindictive, #ut you $et the $ist !nstead o" $oin$ 'ith that plan, ! ended up lettin$ him kiss me and unconsciously, ! #e$an to kiss him #ack 2n even smaller part o" me 'anted this 3ookin$ #ack, ! #lamed the "act that ! 'as ;ust too damn surprised to do anythin$, #ut in all honesty, ! 'anted that last kiss ! thou$ht ! heard him si$h in relie" a$ainst my lips, #ut that easily couldVve #een my ima$ination He never tried to deepen the kiss or make it mean somethin$ more, it 'as ;ust a so"t and li$ht kiss !t 'as entirely di""erent "rom our other kisses !t 'asnVt hard and demandin$ like ho' they usually 'ere 'hen 'e 'ere in the midst o" an ar$ument !t 'asnVt "illed 'ith an a#solute sense o" "eelin$ and passion Chaste, innocent and experimental !t 'as as i" 9i ,on$ 'as kissin$ me to "eel something .hether he "elt somethin$ or not, ! didnVt kno', #ut ! did kno' that this kiss 'asnVt the same !t didnVt "ill me 'ith the sense o" happiness as it had three months a$o !n "act, it ;ust "elt like a re$ular kiss ! think that 'as 'hen ! "inally reali)ed that this 'ould #e our "inal kiss <ently, ! placed my hands on his chest and pulled a'ay He didnVt protest, instead he closed his eyes and nodded at me ! hadnVt said anythin$, #ut he understood His hands 'ere still at the #ase o" my neck, and ! hadnVt removed my hands "rom his chest .e must have made 6uite a spectacle .e 'ere standin$ in "ront o" my apartment in this a'k'ard em#race and neither o" us seemed to 'ant to let $o? to say a "inal "are'ell to a year lon$ relationship YSorry "or #ein$ a ronri "oo,Y he said to me so"tly (onri "oo "or the kiss, the #reak up or possi#ly #oth, ! didnVt kno' <od, !Vm even usin$ his messed up En$lish in my thou$hts (e$ardless, ! closed my eyes and lo'ered my head He "inally let me $o and resumed his ori$inal position o" hands shoved in pockets and standin$ a $ood t'o "eet a'ay "rom me 9i ,on$ and ! stood there in silence a$ain #ut this time there 'as understandin$ -e' 'ords 'ere spoken, #ut sometimes actions speak louder than 'ords ! kne' that 9i ,on$ and ! 'ere "inished, #ut a small part o" me still carried the torch that may#e one day 'e 'ould #e to$ether a$ain 2 small part ! donVt kno' i" ! can say the same thin$ a#out 9i ,on$, #ut ;ud$in$ "rom his actions today, ! think ! can say that he "elt the same &hat torch carrier 'as carryin$ a "lame "or somethin$ that didnVt exist? holdin$ on to somethin$ that had died &oday seemed like a desperate attempt to keep that "lame alive But it 'as too late &he "lame had already #een extin$uished .hat seemed like hours, 9i ,on$ "inally turned around to leave He didnVt say anythin$, #ut 'ords 'erenVt needed !t 'asnVt until ! heard the door to the stair'ell close loudly #ehind him that ! "inally allo'ed mysel" to #reathe ! slid do'n the 'all and sat next to the lar$e #ox that he had #rou$ht 'ith him ! couldnVt open it ;ust yet !t oddly "elt like that day on TalentineVs =ay ! 'as standin$ outside the door o" my apartment 'ith a lar$e #ox #eside me !nstead o" "eelin$ pain, an$er and sadness, ! "elt the opposite =onVt $et me 'ron$, in no 'ay am ! $o lucky happy, seein$ rain#o's and sunshine, #ut ! "elt okay ! didnVt "eel the need to #urst out cryin$ and ruin another one o" Seun$ (iVs ar$yle print s'eaters &he 6uestion o" V.H,1V didnVt repeat itsel" throu$h my head ! didnVt "eel empty and drained, as i" the li"e had #een sucked out o" me ! "elt okay ! turned my head to'ards the card#oard #ox next to me ! had to 'onder ;ust ho' 9i ,on$ mana$ed to carry it up here 2s you kno', heVs ;ust as athletic as me, 'hich isnVt a lot ! donVt kno' 'hat possi#ly could #e in there (andom, insi$ni"icant $i"ts1 Clothin$ le"t #ehind1 .ell,

there 'as only one 'ay to "ind out Care"ully, ! started to li"t the "laps open, #ut ! stopped mysel" 'hen ! sa' somethin$ "amiliar peekin$ out !t 'as on its side, #ut ! kne' exactly 'hat it 'as &he ceramic #lue pot 'ith a heart and smashed heart painted on 'as starin$ at me !t 'as the damn 3ike Llant ! had no idea 'hy ! #ou$ht it "or him that that day !tVs such a stupid and ridiculous thin$, #ut then a$ain, me and 9i ,on$ 'ere silly and ridiculous, 'erenVt 'e1 !t seemed to "it us 2t the time .as the plant still alive1 ! 'as scared to pull the "inal "lap open .hy should ! #e1 Even thou$h thin$s are done and over 'ith #et'een 9i ,on$ and !, a small, tiny, minuscule part o" me 'as hopin$ that the plant 'as still #loomin$ and alive 9i ,on$ 'asnVt my "irst kiss, nor 'as he my "irst #oy"riend, #ut he 'as the "irst #oy that ! allo'ed mysel" to care a#out !n "act, ! think ! can say that he 'as my "irst love 2"ter months o" sel" denial, ! "inally reali)ed that 'hat 9i ,on$ and ! had 'asnVt puppy love, a deep "orm o" like or 'hat have you !t 'as love, as much as ! didnVt 'ant to admit it 9i ,on$Vs 'ords echoed throu$h my mind: V! 'ould never intentionally hurt youV &hereVs the sayin$ o" Vyou hurt the ones you loveV But i" you truly loved someone, 'ould you really intentionally #reak them to a point 'here you donVt even reco$ni)e them anymore1 !snVt that 'hat happened to me1 ! completely thre' mysel" into insanity and #aked a total o" 0PP cupcakes ! had never cried so much over a #oy in my li"e !Vve never #een so hurt #y a #oy #e"ore =id he love me1 Luttin$ me throu$h all that 'as that some kind o" t'isted 'ay o" sho'in$ that he loved me1 -or 'eeks, ! never understood the #reak up 2 part o" me is still con"used even thou$h !Vve received the closure ! looked #ack at the #ox ! 'as scared to see the plant !tVs stupid to #elieve ho' a plant could represent the VlikeV "or someone !t really is ridiculous, i" you think a#out it But 'hen ! opened up the le"t "lap and the 3ike Llant 'as revealed to me, ! think ! mi$ht have #ecome a very small #eliever o" ridiculous thin$s Starin$ #ack at me 'asnVt a pot o" dirt nor 'as it a hu$e vine o" leaves and "lo'ers *as the ad had promised i" the recipient truly loved the $iver+ takin$ up the entire #ox !nstead o" those thin$s, ! sa' a sin$le, short pink "lo'er sprout up "rom the pot &he plant 'as not dead But it hadnVt $ro'n into a #ean stalk, either ! really 'as #ein$ a #it cra)y ! canVt #elieve !Vm $oin$ to take the $ro'th o" a plant and think that it correlates 'ith 9i ,on$Vs "eelin$s "or me Cim ,u (i, you really are losin$ it But itVs still alive &he thou$ht 'as hard to push out o" my mind, #ut ! tried

! care"ully moved the plant to the side to see the rest o" the contents in the #ox &here 'ere "lu""y pens, random clothes and accessories, trinkets andFFoh 2t the very #ottom o" the #ox 'as a sin$le sheet o" paper ! reco$ni)ed the sheet o" paper immediately -or our one year anniversary, ! had decided to $ive him a #lank note#ook "rom a specialty stationary store so that it 'ould #e speci"ically tailored to his tastes 2t the time, ! 'anted him to "ill it 'ith random rhymes and 'ords that "loated throu$h his head 9i ,on$ hates lined paper, he thinks that it con"ines him and restricts his creativity HeVs such a diva, ! kno' His "avourite colour is this 'eird neon shade o" oran$e thatVs #lindin$ to the eyes He likes hard covers #ecause he thinks

so"t covers easily tear and 'rinkle So, o#viously ! had this expensive, little note#ook made to his tastes, 'ith some o" my o'n touches, as 'ell ! made the inside pa$es a pale $reen *! 'anted lime $reen #ut ! thou$ht that 'ould end up #lindin$ him+ 'ith a random chi#i character o" mysel" and him and a $iant cupcake on the corners o" every sin$le pa$e ! topped it o"" #y puttin$ it in a pink #ox So 'hen ! sa' this customi)ed piece o" paper ripped "rom that note#ook starin$ at me 'ith scri##les, ! 'as a #it scared ! didnVt kno' 'hat to expect as ! care"ully picked it up "rom the very #ottom

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesnt, then it was never meant to be. &hat is so $irly, ,u (i WHA ! It"s a #retty $uote% &hut u#% I"m trying to give you ins#iration and you make fun of me '.( Hahaha `7 1 Hey, 'rite #ack !Vm sittin$ in one o" your #orin$ art lectures Ceep me amused F__F

,D (! ... I"m being a diligent student wanting to learn about the .. uh, shut u#. )et me listen. 3ove is #reakin 3ove1 5eed1 .ant1 3et it $o -ly a'ay -lap, "lap !" itVs "or real, itVll come #ack !" not, donVt #other !tVs 'hack ... *ou fail, +i *ong. ,ail. !tVs pretty #rilliant, haha `7 1 ... -. .hat1 ! remem#ered that day very clearly 9i ,on$ 'anted to do somethin$ that day, #ut ! had classes in the mornin$, so he decided to ta$ alon$ 2pparently the class 'as much too #orin$ "or his tastes and he #e$an 'ritin$, doodlin$, and 'hatever in the note#ook that ! had $iven him 2t one point, 'e ;ust started 'ritin$ notes #ack and "orth to one another on a pa$e in the #ack !t 'as such a random conversation and it took a#out 7 pa$es He asked me to start 'ritin$ 6uotes and 'ords that ! liked so that some "orm o" inspiration 'ould hit him &hat little verse 'as the result, apparently

So 'hy did he choose to rip this one pa$e out1 !t 'as pretty o#vious Even !, Cim ,u (i, the person 'ho doesnVt understand or see anythin$ unless itVs dan$led in "ront o" her "ace, understood ! had heard that 6uote a lon$ time a$o in some random movie !t never really made sense to me at the time, #ut then a$ain ! 'as /7 (e$ardless, the 6uote had stuck 'ith me "or some time *hen you love something, you let it go ,ou let it $o 'hen you "eel as i" your love isnVt enou$h to keep $oin$ ,ou let it $o 'hen you donVt 'ant to #e sel"ish any more f it comes back to you, its yours forever. &f it doesnt, then it was never meant to be. .hen 'e lose somethin$, 'e al'ays hope that #y some miracle, itVll #e "ound or even #etter, itVll "ind its 'ay #ack to us .hen you let someone $o, the only thin$ you have le"t is hope and "aith that theyVll return to you ,ou hope that theyVll see #eyond your actions and see #eneath the sur"ace 2ll you can do is hope So 'hat did this mean1 9i ,on$ 'as my "irst love O" course, !Vm $oin$ to have lin$erin$ "eelin$s "or him !t 'ould #e stran$e i" ! didnVt (i$ht no', thou$h, ! think that 'e #oth are in a $ood place !tVd #e stupid to carry on 'ith our volatile relationship ! think that 'e #oth have had our closure and $otten rid o" the elephants in our kitchens .e "inally let each other $o, and 'hether or not that 'as the ri$ht thin$ or not, only time can tell But at the moment, ! truly #elieve that it 'as the ri$ht thin$ to do ! looked #ack do'n at the paper in my hands +et it go. Aly away. ,es &hatVs exactly 'hat 'e #oth had to do ! thou$ht a#out 9i ,on$Vs 'ords a$ain: ! 'ould never intentionally hurt you 2n hour a$o, ! donVt kno' i" ! 'ouldVve #elieved that But no', ! donVt think that 9i ,on$ 'ould ever purposely hurt me !tVs like that random dream ! had months a$o 'hen 9i ,on$ 'as locked up in that ca$e and he 'as all animalFlike #ut ! 'asnVt scared !tVs #ecause he kne' he 'ould never purposely hurt me ! $uess you could say that he 'as lettin$ me $o #ecause he loved me &he 'eekly "i$hts, lack o" communication, the ha#itFFit 'as ;ust too much .e "ou$ht more than 'e $ot alon$ He said that he 'anted to stop #ein$ sel"ish and to do that, he had to let me $o Even i" that meant he had to hurt me, #ut never intentionally %ou hurt the ones you love. Aly away .hatVs done is done and all one can do is 'ait YOkay noona, ! donVt see Hee 9in &OL and ! have settled on an a$reement a#out our potsFF'hy are you on the $round1Y Seun$ (i had suddenly popped out o" the apartment and looked at me 'ith concern 'hen he sa' that ! 'as on the $round ! 6uickly shoved the note#ook piece o" paper into the #ox Y2hahaha, no reason, ;ust chillin1Y He narro'ed his eyes at me, not #elievin$ the story, at all Y6e 'as here, 'asnVt he1Y Seun$ (i asked li$htly &here 'as no menace or an$er in his voice, ;ust concern Slo'ly, ! nodded ! didnVt have to ask 'ho he meant #y VheV !t 'as 6uite o#vious ! heard him si$h "rom a#ove me Care"ully, he kneeled on to the $round not 'antin$ any $erms to $et on his per"ectly creased pants Y2lri$ht,Y he li$htly patted his shoulder, Ythis #lack dress shirt 'as made in !taly #y three vir$in $irls livin$ in the mountains, #ut ! $uess you can use it as

a cryin$ hanky or somethin$ Y ! ended up sco""in$ at him in the nicest 'ay possi#le ! donVt kno' i" you can do that, #ut his concern 'as appreciated YHonestlyA .hat do you take me "or1Y Y.hat1Y Seun$ (i placed his hand a$ainst his heart as i" he had #een deeply 'ounded Y! sacri"ice my pristine dress shirt and you sco"" at meA &chA See i" !Vm ever nice to you a$ain Y He crossed his arms at me and looked strai$ht ahead His 'ords may have #een mean, #ut ! sa' a hint o" a smile tu$$in$ at his lips ! $ave him a play"ul pout and li$htly punched him in the shoulder ! looked around the hall'ay and reali)ed the emptiness o" it Ein H'an had pro#a#ly le"t to practice "or his church solo, &ae Ein 'as most likely practicin$ his po'er"ul 'aterFlike dance moves and 'ell, !Vm surprised that Hee 9in 'asnVt here #ecause she is a stalker extraordinaire and t'o o" the #oys she is in love 'ith are under my roo" ! looked to'ards one o" the said #oys Hee 9in 'as in love 'ith Seun$ (i and ! have $one throu$h a lot in the past "e' months -rom insanity, to #akin$ cupcakes, to al'ays #ein$ there, to #lackmailin$ random #oys to date me, to takin$ me to desperate and lo' "unctions *! E speed datin$+ !tVs #een a cra)y three months ! donVt kno' i" anyone else 'ould have #een a#le to put up 'ith all this madness ! $ave him a 6uick smile #e"ore doin$ somethin$ that ! really donVt do o"ten enou$h ! t'isted my #ody around sli$htly and enveloped him in a ti$ht hu$ Y&hanks, Seun$ (i,Y ! murmured into his shirt 2lthou$h his actions may #e extremely 6uestiona#le sometimes, he has $ood intentions He seemed shock at my sudden Vthank youV, #ut that didnVt stop him "rom #ein$ the typical Seun$ (i 'e all kno' and love Y,ah, yah, yahA (emem#er, three vir$ins in the mountains made this shirtA .rinkles are hard to $et outAY =espite his voiced concerned over his shirt, he ended up maneuverin$ his arms to return the "riendly em#race Y&ch, thatVs all you care a#out Y ! entan$led mysel" "rom him and stuck my ton$ue out at him !n return, he did the same .e are such mature people YSo, youVre okay1Y Seun$ (i 6uestioned me a"ter a very #rie" starin$ contest Y3ike actually okay1 2nd not V!Vm okay #ut !Vm $oin$ to $o into the kitchen and #ake 0PP cupcakes even thou$h ! donVt kno' the di""erence #et'een #akin$ soda and #akin$ po'derV okay1Y .o' &hat 'as a dark time in my li"e, 'asnVt it1 5onetheless, ! $rinned at him and nodded Y!Vm okay Y 2nd you kno' 'hat1 ! $enuinely meant it Y<ood Y He seemed satis"ied 'ith my ans'er and looked as i" he 'as a#out to $et up #ut stopped him sel" Y,ou kno' that i" he ever does anythin$ stupid ! 'ill seriously cut him "oFFY YHahahaha,Y ! cut him o"" #e"ore he could "inish that sentence ! patted him li$htly on the shoulder, Y! kno', Seun$ (i, ! kno' &hanks Y !n response, his lips curved into a sli$ht $rin He "inally $ot up "rom the dirty "loor and dusted o"" the ima$inary dirt YCome on, letVs $o inside &OL is pro#a#ly eatin$ hal" o" your "ood ri$ht no' Y

Y2ish,Y ! murmured as ! pulled mysel" up and picked up the #ox "rom the $round YHey, he still o'es me "or that co""ee "rom t'o million months a$o,Y ! suddenly reali)ed Y,eah, youVre never $ettin$ that #ack,Y ! heard Seun$ (i say in "ront o" me as 'e 'alked #ack inside the apartment ! set the #ox #eside the door and "ollo'ed Seun$ (i into the kitchen 9ust as Seun$ (i had said, Seun$ Hyun 'as makin$ himsel" com"orta#le in the kitchen #y makin$ himsel" some instant noodles -our #o'ls, to #e exact ! ;ust assumed that he 'as tryin$ to #e nice and makin$ them "or all o" us He canVt a""ord to eat "our #o'ls o" instant noodles on his o'n &hat 'ould kill his under'ear modelin$ career =ae Sun$, on the other hand, 'as recitin$ somethin$ "rom V&he .orld is ,oursV 'ith dramatic hand $estures included &hey 'ere ri$ht .e really did experience a lot to$ether 3eaps, Hee 9in, under'ear models, #lackmail, death #y cupcakes, support $roup meetin$sFF thatVs a lot o" action !Vm startin$ to think that Seun$ Hyun and =ae Sun$ are $oin$ to #ecome a permanent part o" my li"e, 'hether ! liked it or not Y.aitA So youVre sayin$ i" ! really, really 'ish to #ecome a poet, itVll happen1Y Y! thou$ht you 'anted to #e a rappFFnever mind But yeahA 9ust send out positive vi#es into the universe and the universe 'ill respondA 2nd voilaA ,our dreams o" #ecomin$ a rapper, poet, model, porn star, 'hatever, 'ill come trueAY Y!& .2S5V& LO(5A HO. E25, &!EES =O ! H2TE &O EWL32!5 &H!S1Y ! couldnVt help #ut lau$h at those t'o ! 'as a#out to make a snarky comment at Seun$ HyunVs one time stint as a model 'hen Seun$ (i appeared #eside me He held up a plate o" #ri$htly covered cupcakes 'ith rain#o' sprinkles on top YHave a cupcake,Y he said to me simply He pushed the plate closer to'ards me and ! had no choice #ut to take one Seun$ (i smiled in response, Y(emem#er, cupcakes solve all o" li"eVs pro#lems Y Y&aste"ul posin$ and explicit porno$raphy are di""erent thin$sAY Y!s it really1 Because they look the same to me Y Y5oA =o you honestly need an example1 ! 'ill #rin$ you to the photoshoot one day and you 'ill see ,OD .!33 SEE Y ! took a #ite o" the thank"ully normal cupcake *mint chocolate 'ith oran$e "rostin$+ that Seun$ (i had $iven me and smiled !" my li"e 'as a dessert, it 'ould de"initely have extra sprinkles 5ot ;ust plain chocolate or vanilla ones, #ut rain#o' ! like rain#o's Extra rain#o' sprinkles 'ith chocolate ice cream ! love $reen tea and all, #ut it ;ust doesnVt $o 'ith sprinkles ,eah, my li"e 'ould have extra rain#o' coloured sprinkles Cupcakes may not solve all o" li"eVs pro#lems, #ut they come pretty close

@@@@ 9-$

O" Boas and Shades o" Link

2n 2MD Sidestory 'ith a "lam#oyantly $ay Seun$ (i
YSeun$ (i, ! really donVt think this out"it is me, at all,Y &OL said hesitantly 'hile starin$ at his re"lection He 'as, currently, standin$ on top o" a lar$e stool in "ront o" an /UP de$rees mirror He 'as decked out in an out"it that Seun$ (i had chosen "or him !n his opinion, he didnVt think it "lattered his #ody shape He liked to think that he 'as an upside do'n pear shape *#road shoulders, small 'aist and even smaller hips+ and the out"it that Seun$ (i had chosen "or him, didnVt hide his 'eak spots !" anythin$, it emphasi)ed them He 'as, particularly, 'ary a#out the shoulder pads underneath the pin striped ;acket YO" course, it is, oppaAY Seun$ (i reassured the older #oy He crouched do'n onto the $round to "lip up the cu""s o" his pants Satis"ied, he #e$an to dust o"" the ima$inary lint on &OLVs le$s &OL tu$$ed at the #ro'n polka dot tie around his neck, "orce"ully YBut, my shoulders look t'ice as #iFF'ait, did you ;ust call me VoppaV1Y He looked do'n at Seun$ (i 'ith a pu))led expression, 'onderin$ i" he had heard him 'ron$ Ea$nae stopped dustin$ &OLVs pant covered thi$h 'hen he heard his accusation YSeun$ (i1Y YOh, hahahaAY the youn$er #oy lau$hed, a little #it too, loud Y! think youVre hearin$ thin$s, hyungAY He then $ot up "rom the $round and $ave &OL an ea$er thum#s up &OL narro'ed his eyes at Seun$ (iVs stran$e #ehaviour, #ut promptly i$nored it He 'as all too used to the ma$naeVs odd antics He turned #ack to look at the mirror and read;usted the shirt collar YBut, thereVs shoulder pads in the ;acket Ey shoulders look even #i$$er than usual Y He si$hed heavily and slouched his shoulders "or'ard YOpFFhyun$A ,ou need to stand 'ith your shoulders,Y he stood #ehind him on tip toes to tilt his shoulders #ack, Ystrai$htA ,ou canVt look like a ho#oA ,ou need to oo)e con"idenceA Aeel the con"idenceAY He latched his hand onto &OLVs ri$ht arm and pumped the air 'ith his other "ist YDrm, okay1Y &OL said, hesitantly, as he tried to pry his arm out o" Seun$ (iVs stron$ $rip Seun$ (i continued to hold on YOh, have you #een 'orkin$ out1 ,our muscles seem to have $ro'n Y He $ave &OLVs #iceps a "irm s6uee)e and s6uealed in deli$ht to himsel" a"ter Y5ot really, may#e the shoulder pads make them look #i$$er,Y he said uncom"orta#ly, still tryin$ to take his arm #ack Seun$ (iVs eyes lit up and he promptly let $o o" &OLVs arm to take a step #ack Y(eally1 .ell, letVs take them outA Come on, $ive me your ;acketA 2nd the dress shirtA Ei$ht as 'ell take o"" your 'i"e #eater underneath that, too Y &OLVs eyes scanned around the small #outi6ue !t 'as practically empty 'ith the exception o" a

youn$ sales $irl sittin$ at the cash desk "ilin$ her nails He looked #ack do'n at the ma$nae Y.hatVs the point o" takin$ all o" my clothes o"" i" you ;ust 'ant to take the shoulder pads o" the ;acket out1Y he asked in a con"used tone Y2nd you 'ant me to strip o"" my clothes here1 Out in the open1Y !$norin$ the "irst 6uestion, he shru$$ed in response YDnless, you want me to $o into the dressin$ room 'ith you1 !tVs kinda small thou$h, and itVd #e a ti$ht "it i" #oth o" us 'ent in Y YOr,Y &OL #e$an and pointed to the small dressin$ room, Y! could $o into the dressin$ room #y mysel" and take the shoulder pads o"" Y Seun$ (i pouted Y! $uess Y He sullenly 'atched &OL 'alk into the dressin$ room by himself, and then made his 'ay to'ards the $irl at the cash desk Y,ouVre so pathetic,Y she said 'ithout $lancin$ up "rom her per"ect, acrylic nails YShut up, !Vm ;ust takin$ thin$s slo' ! donVt 'ant to scare him o"" Y He plucked the nail "iler out o" her hands and #e$an to "ile his o'n YEy cuticles are dis$ustin$ .anna $et a manicure 'ith me, tomorro'1Y &he $irl rolled her eyes and 'as a#out to reply 'hen &OL 'alked out o" the dressin$ room and sure enou$h, his shoulders seemed less #road Seun$ (i $rinned at the si$ht o" him and thre' the nail "iler #ack at the cash $irl, to 'hich she screeched #ecause it had hit her on the nose .ithout even lookin$ to see i" she 'as okay, he 'alked to'ards &OLVs $eneral direction &OL stepped #ack on top o" the stool and stared appreciatively at his re"lection Y,ou kno', 'ithout the shoulder pads, this out"it looks pretty nice Y He did a complete 78P to admire the out"it Seun$ (i clapped his hands in ;oy YSeeA ! told youAY He, suddenly, stopped clappin$ and took a step #ack to re$ard the out"it Y! donVt think you need the tie, thou$h Lolka dots are so out this season Y Seun$ (i made his 'ay to'ards him and ea$erly reached out to touch his neck, #ut he stopped him Y!tVs okay,Y &OL held up a hand #e"ore Seun$ (i could take another step to'ards him, Y! can do it mysel" Y 2s he 'atched him untie the tie "rom the con"ines o" the shirt collar, he looked around the #outi6ue to see 'hat else he could add on to the out"it to make it even more ex6uisite than it already 'as .hich 'ould #e a $reat "eat #ecause since he, 3ee Seun$ (i, 'as the one stylin$ the out"it, it already 'as extrava$ent Seun$ (i 'as a very modest #oy YEay#e a nice #oa1Y he su$$ested and "lun$ a lime $reen "eather #oa around &OLVs neck Y!t really accentuates your skin tone Y

YDh, ! donVt kno', #oas arenVt reallyFFY Y5onsenseAY Seun$ (i turned #ack to the pile o" #oas and $ra##ed a matchin$ lemon yello' one to place around his o'n neck He then 'ent to stand next to &OL in "ront o" the mirror and admired their re"lections Y.e look so perfect to$ether Y He $ra##ed onto &OLVs arm once a$ain, tilted his head and si$hed happily Y! look like a sho' $irl,Y &OL said 'hile starin$ at their re"lections, Y;ust hand me a sparkly #ra set, a tiara, and those extrava$ant "eather trains #ehind my #ack Y Seun$ (i tried to lay his head on &OLVs shoulder, #ut 'hen he heard sho' $irl, sparkly #ra set and tiara, his eyes lit up and he ;umped #ack a step He started to speak in a 6uick and overexcited voice Y2re you into the 'hole dressin$ up as the opposite $ender thin$1 Because !, de"initely, did not see you as one, #ut 'hatever ri$ht1 ! have a 'hole trunk o" $irly clothes and accessories up in my room !" you 'ant, 'e could de"FFY Y,ou kno' ! 'as ;ust #ein$ sarcastic, ri$ht1Y &OL interrupted 'ith a mixture o" con"usion and "ear on his "ace Seun$ (i #linked, #ut then suddenly, #ursted out lau$hin$ 3oudly &oo loud 2$ain YEan, o" course & 'as #ein$ sarcastic, tooAY &OL continued to $ive him the same expression Y! really had you, didnVt !1 Hahaha,Y he tried to lau$h it o"" and then 'ent to $ra# hold o" &OLVs arm, a$ain Y=onVt 'e look $ood1Y Once a$ain, &OL, unsuccess"ully, tried to t'ist his arm out o" Seun$ (iVs hold Y,o, !Vm $oin$ to lose "eelin$, soon Y Seun$ (i $asped out loud, and shook &OLVs arm Y.here are you losin$ "eelin$1Y He pointed to &OLVs arms, le$s and then his private area YOh, thatVs not a $ood thin$ i" youVre losin$ "eelin$ thereA Eay#e the pants are too ti$htA !Vll help you $et out o" themAY Seun$ (i said excitedly, 'hile reachin$ his hands out to'ards &OLVs #elt, #ut he 6uickly pushed him a'ay Y!tVs okayA ,ou donVt need to take my pants o"" "or me Y &he statement sounded o"" to &OL 'hen he said it out loud Y2nd, youVre ;ust s6uee)in$ my arm too hard !Vm losin$ #lood circulation Y Once a$ain, Seun$ (i did an over exa$$erated pout, hopin$ that &OL 'ould notice He had #een told #y numerous $irls *and #oys+ that he had kissa#le lips .hen he 'as ;ust starin$ out o" the 'indo' 'ith no expression on his "ace 'hatsoever, $irls 'ould s6ueal .hen he pouted those lips o" his or made a kissy "ace, the $irls literally 'ent 'ild Since he 'as, currently, makin$ an effort to accentuate his lips, he hoped that &OL 'ould notice and possi#ly $o 'ild like his "an$irls at school 2 #oy can hope, canVt he1 But, no He 'as o#livious

He 'as the de"inition o" &HE clueless, strai$ht #oy 'ho didnVt kno' 'hen someone 'as 'horiFF offeringFFthemselves out to him &OL continued to paid no mind to this and ;ust shook his arm casually, tryin$ to $et the "eelin$ #ack and completely i$norin$ the ma$naeVs overly pouty lips Y.hy donVt you try 'earin$ a scar" instead o" a #oa1Y he su$$ested, once he reali)ed that &OL 'asnVt payin$ attention to his lips &OL rolled his shoulders and did another t'irl on the stool YHuh1 Oh yeah, sure, anythin$ #ut a #oa is "ine Y Seun$ (i picked up a hot pink scar" on a display ta#le next to him and moved to tie it around &OLVs neck, #ut once a$ain he stopped him Y&hatVs hot pink,Y he said simply Seun$ (i continued to look at him? 'aitin$ "or him to make his point Y!tVs hot pink,Y he repeated &he ma$nae stood there in con"usion So 'hat i" it 'as hot pink1 he thou$ht Hot pink 'as ;ust a colour thatFFoh, he 'as one o" those types YOppa, donVt 'orry, this isnVt hot pink,Y he said 'ith a lau$h 'hile 'avin$ the o#viously hot pink scar" in the air, YitVs coral Y YCoral1Y &OL asked, not exactly #elievin$ those 'ords Y,eahAY he tried to reassure him Y!tVs ;ust the li$htin$ in this shop &his is definitely coral Y &OL re$arded Seun$ (i 'ith a suspicious look Y2re you sure1 Coral and hot pink are t'o entirely di""FFY Y&chAY he interrupted him 'ith a 'ave o" his hand He took t'o 6uick steps to'ards &OL and leaned in, 'hilst tryin$ not to #e too o#vious a#out inhalin$ his colo$ne, and tucked the scar" around his neck Y!tVs coral, trust me Y &OL #e$an to play around 'ith the scar", #ut once a$ain, the ma$nae stopped him Y=onVt tu$ it too muchA !tVll lose its appeal,Y he 'arned him and settled himsel" #ack into the position #eside him Y=onVt 'e look like a couple1 ,ouVre 'earin$ a hoFFcoral scar" and !Vm 'earin$ a coral &F shirt !snVt that a $reat coincidence1 .eVre almost like one o" those couples 'ho 'ear matchin$ clothes and have couple rin$s, and 'hatnot Y YDrm, ! $uess,Y &OL shru$$ed and then #e$an to shi"t his 'ei$ht "rom one le$ to another Y! think these shoes are too small, !Vm $oin$ to try a di""erent pair Y He stepped do'n "rom the stool and made his 'ay to'ards the lon$ #enches 'hile Seun$ (i hovered #ehind him &OL sat do'n to take o"" the too small shoes he had on and si$hed 'ith relie" once they 'ere o"" o" his "eet He reached "or a pair o" #lack and 'hite kicks that looked com"orta#le

Seun$ (i continue to lin$er around &OL, pretendin$ to look at the display o" 'atches, #ut then 6uickly sat do'n t'o "eet a'ay "rom him &'o seconds later, he slid closer to the older #oy &OL, sensin$ the ma$nae starin$ at him, looked "rom the #ro'n shoes to Seun$ (iVs sly $rin Y,es1Y YHyun$,Y he placed his hand on his thi$h and $ave it a "irm s6uee)e, Y! like you Y &OL #linked YDh, 'ell, ! like you, too,Y he said in an uncom"orta#le tone Seun$ (i smiled and li"ted his hand to #rush a'ay the #an$s coverin$ &OLVs eyes Y5o, you misunderstood ! like you Y .hen he said VlikeV, his hand that had ori$inally rested on his thi$h, moved up hi$her &OLVs eyes 'idened at the "eel o" Seun$ (iVs small hands headin$ to'ards a "or#idden area He 6uickly placed his hand over Seun$ (iVs and "orce"ully put the ma$naeVs $ra##y hands a'ay "rom his area YDm,Y he 6uickly looked do'n at his 'atch *he didnVt actually have one and 'as in reality, ;ust starin$ at his #are 'rist+ and 6uickly stood up "rom his seat Y! think itVs time that ! $o to ,u (iVs place Y 2t a 6uick pace, he headed to'ards the exit Y2re you sure you donVt 'ant to stay here 'ith me1Y Seun$ (i called out out to him in an attempt at a seductive tone and an added e""ect o" V#edroomV eyes YDh, arenVt you the one 'hoVs makin$ me $o on this date1Y Seun$ (iVs V#edroomV eyes disappeared YOh, ri$htA ,eahA ,u (iFnoona Y he trailed o""

2"ter a moment o" silence, &OL #e$an to make his 'ay to'ards the exit a$ain, #ut not #e"ore Seun$ (i char$ed at him at "ull speed and clun$ to his arm, once a$ain and looked up at his "ace 'ith hope"ul eyes YOppF! mean, hyun$A .hat colour is your scar"1Y &OL tried to shake the ma$nae o"" o" him #ut 'as unsuccess"ul He si$hed and in a shaky tone, YCoral1 !snVt that 'hat you told me K minutes, a$o1Y Seun$ (iVs "ace "ell a$ain, and he slo'ly let $o o" the $rasp he had on &OLVs arm Y(i$ht, ! can $o no'1Y he asked, hesitantly, 'hile slo'ly itchin$ to'ards the door Seun$ (i turned around and 'aved his hand to dismiss him .ith relie", &OL hurriedly scurried out o" the #outi6ue Lin striped suit, coral scar" and all Once &OL had le"t the shop, the $irl at the cash desk "lun$ a #oa at Seun$ (i Y,ou shouldVve ;ust dra$$ed him into a chan$e room and stripped o"" his clothes, and had your 'ay 'ith him,Y she said and continued to look do'n at her nails Y!t 'ouldVve #een the hi$hli$ht o" my day Y Seun$ (i sco""ed Y&ch ,ou donVt think it 'ould have "or me1Y He 'alked #ack to the mirror and admired his re"lection 'ith the coral #oa on him Y! canVt #elieve he couldnVt tell the di""erence #et'een coral and hot pink,Y he said out loud Y&hisAY he shook the #oa in his hands, Yis coral Y

YBoys donVt kno' anythin$,Y the cash $irl said a"ter #lo'in$ a particularly lar$e #u##le 'ith her $um Y,ou really have to stop comin$ to my shop to administer your test on potential #oy"riends Especially, strai$ht potential #oy"riends Y Y2$reed Y Seun$ (i did a tiny t'irl 'ith the #oa, #ut stopped Y.aitA !tVs not my "ault that ! 'ant a #oy"riend 'ho kno's his colours and can distin$uish #et'een di""erent shades o" pink Y &he cash $irl rolled her eyes and popped another #u##le Y&his is 'hy youVre still sin$le Y Seun$ (i rolled his eyes at her YShut up !Vll "ind my soul mate one day,Y he paused and 'ith a smile he added, Yand he 'ill kno' the di""erence #et'een hot pink and coral Y He did another t'irl on the stool? o#viously admirin$ his re"lection Y.hatever, heVs more suited "or noona, any'ays &heyVre #oth stupid, cra)y and colour #lind Y Seun$ (i looked do'n at the #oa 'rapped around him and picked up one o" the ends to 'ave them at the $irl YHey, can ! keep this1Y &he cash $irl #le' another #u##le Y2re you cra)y1 ,ou can have it i" you pay "or it,Y she came out "rom #ehind the counter, Y#ut ! donVt think youVll have enou$h #ecause youVre $oin$ to have to pay "or his out"it, tooY Seun$ (i dropped the #oa Y.hat1 He didnVt pay "or the out"it1Y &he $irl shru$$ed and continued to che' her $um loudly YHe pro#a#ly "or$ot Considerin$, you 'ere comin$ onto him so stron$ Seun$ (i $aped in dis#elie" Y.hat a "reeloader Y