Strangers In The Dark

(Music: Dead already) V.O: Everything I love goes awayEverything I hate goes awayEverything that has got to do anything or might mean something to me goes awayand I am left with whatever I came onto this planet with My ever lasting despair and misery which honestly is worth nothing. Today has been one of the worst days of my life I lost everything ! I have even lost my faith in god, infact I no longer believe that he exist.. G:(Addressing to god) But if you wish to make it up to me now please dont send anymore trouble please A girl comes screaming. M: wait wait please...Hello please just one sec (Guys see to the sky in contempt) G: you know what you stink M: sorry..! You said anything? (He doesnt responds) (The girl smells herself) Music fade: dead already pause for 2 sec) Music starts: lift I lift 2 lift 3 (Music stops abruptly & lights off abruptly with a noise) (Scene 1) M: Hey what did you just do? (He doesnt replies) M: what the hell did you just do? (Music begins again: dead already) G: Nothing! M: You son of a . G: I am sorry! M: you just. You just pinched me. What the hell do you think you were doing? G: please naaraz mat hoyiye....i can explain. M: okay.. give it a shot.. main bhi to dekho how does one explain something like this G: main aaj kaafi depressed hun M: depressed ho to kuch bhi karoge kya G: aap meri poori baat to sun lijea.. M: baaki ki baat police ko sunana Mr main tumhare jasie sadakchap ladko ko achchi tarah janti hun.. G: main koi sadakchap ladka nahin hun infact hum bade khandani log hain.. M: who to harkaton se dikh hi raha hai.. G: aap galat samajh rahi hain.Main to bas check kar raha tha ki main lift me akela to nahin (Lights on) (Music gradually fades)

M: ohh spare me please. I was just checking . .jesus Christ munh pe jhoonth bol rahe hotumhare saamne nahin chadhi thi kya lift mein. Aakhen kuch kamjor hian kya tumhari..? G: (chashma utarke clean karte hue) Ji haan meri aankhen kamjor hai Aur yeh bhi sahi hai ki aap mere saamne hi chadhi thi par mujhe laga ki shayyad aapko andar aate dekhne mera bhram hoga. M: jab police ulta latka ke dando se sikai karegi naa tab saare bhram door ho jaenge bachchu G: Policedekhiye thullon ko abhi scene se out rakhte hai thik hai Bat darasal yeh hai ki mere saath aksar aisa hota hai M: Kya hota hai G: jab main pareshan hota hun to I . I .hallucinate mujhe jo nahin hota who bhi dikhta hia aur jo hota hai who bhi dikhta hai.. isliye I think ki I got confused M: Apni yeh sab psycho crap theories police ko batana you . G: Dekhiye aap please thoda adab se pesh aayiyemain pyyar se farma raha hun to aap to sar pe hi chadhi jaa rahi hain... aap please apni jaban ko thodi si naa.. lagam dijeaokay M: (cant believe the guys audacity) arent you ashamed at all. Tumhe ratti bhar bhi sharam hai ki nahin. G: Sharam shayyad aapko nahin hai . Jo bina kuch jane ek sharif naujawan par lanchan pe lanchan lagaae jaa rahi hai M: Hey you know what... Enough. you say one more word and I will I willknock you down G: Aap mujhe chooke to dekhiye mera bhi haath uth jaega aap janti nahin ki mere dad yahan ke DIG hain.. aur agar unhe is baat ka pata chal to lashon ked her bich jaenge.. M: How dare you? G: Chup rahiyeaap M: kyon chilla rahe ho..? G: Main nahin chilla raha hun.. Aapke upar ke male me kya short circuit ho gaya haijo itni si baat dimag me nahin gus rahi hai. Raat ka ek baj raha hai.. Peechle 15 saal se thik thak chal rahi lift achchank se 23 ve male par aake dum tod deti hai. andhera ho jata hai...aap ek anjaan aadmi ke saath kaid ho jaati hain... Aur aap hai ki itna sab kuch hone ke baad chillati bhi nahin hain..Ladkiyan bhala andhere aur cockroach ko dekhke naa chillayen... Aisa to ho hi nahin sakta..! isliye mujhe laga ki aapko andar aate dekhna mera bhram hoga.. M: Thats the biggest piece of bullshit I have ever laid my ears too.. M: kis jaamne me jee rahe hai aapyou ignorant jerk. H: agar ladkiyon ki fitrat aur mizaz jaamana ke saath badalte naa miss to who aisi nahin hoti M: kaisi nahin hoti? G: jaisi ki aap hain M: main kaisi hun..? G: instinctive aur unreasonable aur insensitive aur saari qualities ke aage in or un laga lijea.. khud samajh jaengi.. M: (ladki gets a lill angry) Ae mr.. Agar tumne ab apna ek aur expert opinion diya naa to main is safety pin se tumhara Chehera bigad dungi. G: (laden with sarcasm) aapko to Kisi teivision soap me vilian dorani ya jethani ke role me hona chahiye thaAap ekdum fit baithti. M: (She actually leans forward with the safety pin) shut up... Will you..! G: dekhye mere dad yahan dilli ke DIG hain.. aur agar unhe is baat ka pata chal to lashon ked her bich jaengekoon ki nadiyan bah jaengi (Some quiet moments) M: Kitni bhi koshish kar lo... Complaint to tumhari ho ke hi rahegi! 2

G: Aap abhi bhi mera vishwas nahin kar rahi hai naa. Aap zaraa khud soch ke dekhiye ki agar mujhe aapka fayada hi uthana hota to who to main ab bhi utha sakta hun M: how dare you..? G: par amine aisa kiya?? .. Nahin naa. Janti hai kyon.. kyonki main ek sharif ladka hun.. Aur sharif ladkon s eaisi harkatein sirf anjaane me hi ho sakti hai.. Jaisa ki hua bhi (Music begins: Weirdest home videos) M :( ladki thoda soch ke) jab tumhare dad DIG hai to tum itna darr kyon rahe ho.. G: kyonki mere dad DIG nahin dentist hai.. Aur agar unhe is tarah ki koi shikayat mili to who mere saare daanth tod denge M: to tumne mujhse jhoonth bola G: (nodds) ji M: kyon..? G: (in a innocent and adorable tone) kyonki police hamesha ladkiyon ki baat sunti hai.. Isliye... M: (she cant resist her smile) M: Are you sure ki who anjaane me hua! G: (nodds shyly) M: thik hai. Main complain nahin karoongi. G: thanks.. (Lights off) Voice over: So, this is how we first met! Now I will be honest with you here. I am one of the most stupid and crazy guys you will ever see. Try asking any girl and she would testify.. If you have had a low opinion about anybody, I am sure I can beat him. You know I am that kind of a guy! But despite that I never lost hope you know why..? Because I heard someone say that every dog has its day So what I was doing was just biding my time and. You know waiting for my day to come along. (Lights on) (Goldy lights his cigarette) M: what are you doing.? G: ciggerete pee raha hun M: yahan par ciggerete peena allowed naih hai.. G: who rules tabhie tak lagu hote hai jab tak lift kaam kar rahi hoti hai Band lift me koi rules nahin hote. (The girl doesnt say anything and when goldy takes in the first puff he coughs) M: (knows that he is smoking for the first time) G: kabhie Kabhie hota hai M: haan pahli baar peete hai to aksar hota hai G: Main pahli baar nahin pee raha hun... (Coughs again) M: yaI can see that (He takes one more puff and coughs again.) M: mujhe lagta hai ki aapko yeh bujha hi deni chayiye shayyad aaj suit nahin kar rahi hai aapko 3

M: What$%^&* G: I meant it as a compliment! M: it is not a compliment G: I know, mujhe kahne ke baad realize hua M: You think you are too goddamn smart.. Haan? V.O: yes bolunga to overconfident lagunga.. No bolunga to low in confidence lagungakya bolu..? G: No V.O: its better to play safe M: the girl smiles.. (Some silence) M: tumhara favorite actor kaun hai? G: Akshay kumar..Aur.. Tumhara? M: The one and only devanand G: aur aaj kal ke naujawano mein.. M: Devanand ke aage sab phus hai G: Naam meena kuamri. Fav. Actor devanand.. Favorite car kaunsi hai ambassador..! M: Ferrari G: ofcourse Tumhe pata hai ki ek stage aati hai jab aadmi ko retire ho jjaan chahiye M: To.. G: Par yeh baat tumhare devanand sahib ko samajh kyon nahin aati? Abhi tak sadi sadi filmein banana me lage hue hainkabhie kabhie to sochta hun ki devanand ki films kaun finanace karta hai! M: Who khud! G: Aur dekhta kaun hai..?.... who bhi khud hi karte honge. Khud banate hai aur khud hi dekhte hai (The girl does what they are supposed to do and after some silence) M: Bahut bhookh lagi hai tumhare pass kuch khane ke liye hai.. G: chocolates hainchahiye.( he starts to take out chocolates from his bag, jisme se bahut saari nikalti hai..) M: itni saari chocolates! G: hmm mall me padi hui thi utha laya.. M: khaiart me baant rahe the kya? G: bant nahin rahe the padi hui thi. M: Matlab tum chori kar ke laye? G: technically haan.. par morally nahin Mall itna bada .. camera ek lawaris padi hui thi.. main utha laya.. M: you know this is not cool! G: chahiye to bolo.. M: Main chori ki chocolates nahin khati G: thik hai to yeh wali le lo.. yeh chori ki nahin hai Kya hai naa khali haath andar jao.. aur khali haath bahar aao to unhe shak ho jata hai isliye yeh ek kharid laya M: Kya guarantee hai ki tum sach bol rahe ho G: Khud dekh lo Iska barcode salammat hai M: (takes a bar) you are unbelievabletum nahin khaoge.. G: Nahin main wahan already pet bhar ke aaya hun.. M: wahin mall ke andar G: Haan wahan toilet me baithke. 7

M: (makes a face) you are disgusting G: I know I am interesting M: I said disgusting G: sounds the same.Disgusting..Interesting.fascinatingintriguing (She interrupts.. M: stop hallucinating M: do you have a gf? V.O: the only question which I hate answering! G: kya? M: do you have a gf? G: my friend has one..! G: Yeh tumhara boyfriend kya karta hai M: tumhe kasie pata ki mera boyfriend hai G: aajkal har kisi ke bf aur gf hote hai.. M: tumhara to nahin hai G: I know ab jale par namak mat chidko and tell me ki tumhara bf kya karta hai..? M: Oh he is a very intelligent clinical psychiatrist! G: Psychiatrist aur intelligent . Interesting combination M: he is Very smart.. you know kitni baar uske interviews doordarshan par aa chuke hain G: Doordarshan dekhta kaun hai! M: Kya kaha G: great.great.. mera ek dost bhi doordarshan par kafi baar aata jaata rahta hia. Bouvnita quiz mein. M: who to zee T.V par aata hai? G: Zee t.V pe... Mere T.V pe to Doordarshan likhha hua aata hai..! M: tum sahi kahte the tumhe who bhi dikhta hia jo nahin hota I think you should meet my bf. Shayyad who tumhari help kar paye. (Lights off) (Phone calls in dark) (Guy calling his friend) G: Abe siddharta.. bhaiya hame badhai do..! S: Badhai hochal bye .. bahut kaam hai.. G: Abe poochega nahin ki kya hua.. S: kya hua..? G: Teri hone wali bhabhi apne present boyfriend se mila rahi hai. The girl calling to her bf.. M: Hi neal .. Yaar kal maine us lift wale ladke ko milne bulaya hai.. P : Thik hai bye.. M: Are suno to.. P: Jaldi bolo.. M: Kal us itna demoralize kar do ki bas uski chutti ho jae bahut dimag chalta ahi uska P: Maazra kya hai tumhe to yeh ladka kaafi interesting laga tha.. phir tum aisa kyon Cut to: goldy and his friend 8

S: aur tujhe lagta hia ki tu aisa kar paega G: Fikra not mere dosttu janta hai ki main trouble create karne ke maamle me kitna creative hun Cut To. P: Are you sure you want to do it..? M: Yes demoralize him make him feel terrible about himselfI want to see him totally naked P: Kya bol rahi ho..? M: I meant. Emotionally naked! (Lights on) (MUSIC: GOOD BAD UGLY MAIN THEME) G: I am sorry .. aapko aaye hue.. jyaada der to nahin hui naa.. P: nahin bas 10 minute pahle hi to aaye hain.. G: really! V.O: abhi ek ghante se to main hi dekh raha hunt um logo ko idhar baithe hue.. G: hi I am ..(Forgets his name) kya tha. hari P: Aapka naam bhi harry hai G: harry nahin hari.. Hari.. H A R I.. V.O: they say that the greatest element of attack is the element of surprise. Isliye Maine uske Bf ko koi mauka nahin diya. I just caught him off guard) (Music starts: Choking the bishop) G: So when do we start? P: jab aap karma chahe.. G: Abhi? P: okay.. G: you know main kaafi dino se thik se so nahin paa raha hun P: aap kaafi dino se so kyon nahin paa rahe hain?? G: raat bhar bure sapne aate hain P: Bure sapne...kis tarah ke bure sapney G: machliyon ke sapneyFish dreams! P: Fish Dreams..! very fishy! G: yaI see fish in my dreams P: kya tumhe fishes naapasand hain? I mean do you have some sort of fish envy..? G: No infact I like fish... P: interesting..! So what happens in the dream? I mean why it is repulsive then..? G: because I am kissing the fishes in my dream..! P: (sees meena and laughs) he really has a weird sense of humor. G: (looks straights into his eye) P: what do you do? G: kiss fishes.. doc.. P: are you sure they are fishes.. and not something else G: I am sure. P: How can you be so sure? G: I am sure because I see them with my eyes closed every night in my dreams..! P: (almost in disbelief) okay so what kind of fishes do you.(G interrupts) 9

G: all kind of fishes! P: okay is there some fish u can name for me who appears regularly in your dreams G: you mean most frequently? P: (nods) Yeah! G: sharks! P: (almost jumps of his seat) Sharks..? G: (continues) and blue Whales..! P: sharks and blue whales u said they were fishes. Not whales! Jesus Christ. Must be really scary..! G: not as scary as an octopus! P: you kissed an octopus too..? P: Are you sure it exactly happens the way you are explaining it to me..? G: No I might not be hundred percent correct.because it happens deep inside the ocean where it is very dark P: so do you see any other species apart from sharks and octopuses ..? G: no..!! yes yes. P: ok. Whats it? G: a porcupine P: now what do u do with a porcupine do u kiss them too. G: oh no doc. They are quietly sleeping beside me. P: ok. And then what. G: I wake up. How can one sleep with a porcupine? P: ( is taken aback) this calls for a coffee. Meena do you mind..! (vipuls dialogues) P: So how long have these bizarre dreams been troubling you..? G: about 2 weeks P: anything unpleasant happened to you 2 weeks before. I mean something which was depressing and disturbing for you..? G: nothing that I can remember apart from meeting meena.. P: and you think its because of that! G: I dont know.. thats for you to find out .. P: he is speechless. G: (adds a pinch of salt to his wound) isnt it P: yes lets meet tomorrow and Ill see what I can do G: okay thanks for your time and now if you would please allow me to M: Are abhi abhi to aaye ho itne main tum dono ke liye kuch coffe lati hun.. Tum yeh Neal ki paintaings dekho. G: It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! You painted this P: Its what..? G: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Its an adjective.. Shakespeare used it often. P: yes in MacbethI read it too..! V.O: ullu ke paththe jab maine hi nahin padha to tune kahan se padh liya..! G: Kab se kar bana rahe ho logo ko.. mera matlab in logo ko..? P: bachpan se G: to aapka fav. Painter kaun hai..? P: Picaso... Aur Michelangelo. Leonardo di caprio.. G: da vinci.. P: actually leanardo di caprio was also a painter in titaniche paintes kate winslet. 10

G: I also saw that G: So tell me dost.. ye art kya hoti hai.. main aaj tak nahin samajh paya hun par ek observation aapki attention me bring karma chahunga ki hamesha hamesha to nahin.. aksar aisa dekhen me aaya hai mere ki jin jin kalakritiyon me striyan ya prurush ardh ya phir poorntah nagn hote hai woh generally art kahlati haiso kya yeh kahna galat hoga ki art is synonymous to nudity.. P: jiya research is still going on that but kuch had tak aap aisa kah sakte hai.. G: aapne aisi kisi art ko janam diya hai.. Lights off V.O: mujhe ghar aake realize hua ki maine uske bf ke saath kaafi jyaati ki isliye. (Lights on) (Inside the lift) G: I am sorry! M: Dont be.. I was expecting that much decency from you.. G: You were! M: Haan G: Main tumhare liye kuch laya hun (Gives her the cactus) M: Cactus. Phool nahin mile kya? G: Mil rahe the par mujhe laga ki tumhe shayyad cactus jyyada pasand aayega? M: Kyon.. Cactus me aisa kya hai jo phool me nahin hai? G: Kaante. G: tumne dil to pagal hai dekhi hai..? M: haan kyon..? G: so do you believe in the theory that for everyone there is one and only one perfect someone M: haan.. G: have you ever wondered about the odds of two such people meeting.. M: very slim G: Technically..1 in 6 billion!!! M: right G: an airplane has a better chance of crashing in Mid air than that You have a better chance of becoming Bihars chief ministeryou have a better chance of winning a lottery ticket.. jayalalalita has a beet chance of completing a marathonbut 1 in 6 billion is terrible.. M: But why are you telling me all this G: you are such a cheery and fun girl.. I think you deserve better M: (She now gets where he is aiming at) Like who? G: like someone who matches your temperament M: and where would I find that someone.. G: anywhere airport, petrol pump, cinema hall, shopping mall. Police station.. rooftop, stairs.. lift lift.. or you know anywhere.. M: I think I know what you are saying. But I am sorry! V.O: (So what I eventually got was a one line rejection statement to the proposal that I was practicing since i entered puberty...) G: do you want to reconsider! 11

(The girl smiles) M: why should i? G: Because I am better..! M: Prove it! G: Cant u see that M: please help me see that you are better G: .i am better kyonki I belong to a rare class of men.. M: okay.. what else? G: and my kind of men are fastly facing extinction.. M: and how is that.. G: because I am 22 years old M: And that make you a rare species endangered with extinction G: No the fact that I am 22 old and still a virgin make me one M: thats nothing to be proud of G: yes, I realized it after I said it.. (Music begins: dead already) V.O: everything I love goes away. Everything I hate goes away.everything that has got to do anything or might mean something to me goes away and I am left with an unanswered question always that what is a guy supposed to do when the women he loves is already in love.. Today has been one of the worst days of my life . (a girl comes running and enters the lift) G: ( god ko dekhke) Oh God! I love you.., I really love you! B: u said anything..! G: (looks at her) (Lights off)

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