Self Assessment: Exp. Ed.

Emily Rence

The Learning Experience

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Evaluate your engagement in class. According to Webster, to be engaged in something is to be interested or involved in it. But what does it really mean? In the context of learning, I would hope at least, that being engaged requires much more than interest and involvement-even those words require further explanation when it comes to being engaged in a learning setting. In order to evaluate my engagement, I believe, I need to first define what it means to me. Because Ive had ample experience in classes that didnt engage me as a learner at all, I reserve the judgment of a class as engaging for only those that truly do engage me. For this reason, and that of Websters insufficient definition, I have come up with my own definition of the idea of engagement. To be engaged in my learning is to lose myself in what Im doing, to lose hours of time but feel like Ive gained so much more than that, to be covered in cornstarch-goop and paper bag pieces and not want to wash my hands at because I know that means its over. To be engaged in my learning means 20 something of my peers having a debate about something terrifying and risky and walking away knowing it had to happen, that the space we spend our Tuesday nights in was a safe space for that to happen and that we wouldnt have had it any other way, to think something, say it out loud, experience it being heard, and then experience someone learning from what you said. To be engaged in my learning is spending hours upon hours researching a sport Ive spent years and years secretly wishing I could do because finally someone helped me to understand that we, as learners and human beings, need to make time for the things we love and the things we want to know more about. To be engaged in my learning is to read a 90 page book for a class and actually find it relevant and useful in my everyday life, to learn how to fix a car, knit on my fingers, name the varying forms of soccer, and plant grass/make it grow all in a days work. To be engaged in my learning is feel as though 3 hours isnt enough time to meet, to look forward to class every Tuesday, to actually feel bad missing class (even if I feel like Im Page 2 of 12

dying!), and to be able to look at myself and know that Ive grown in the past four months having been in this class. This doesnt even begin to cover all of the points during the past semester where Ive felt engaged in this class, but I feel like you get the idea. So when you ask me to evaluate my engagement in the class Id have to say I was more engaged in this class than most other classes Ive taken and although part of it was my part, I couldnt have been engaged in what I learned unless the material being taught and the methods being used werent themselves engaging and well thought out. That being said, I find it difficult to say what the things that helped me to learn were. I got the feeling that this class was planned out and incredibly intentional, which only makes it harder to pinpoint the source of help. The readings, unlike MANY of my classes, were interesting, thoughtful, practical, different enough that they werent repetitive and inspiring-which led to amazing class discussions and debates. The activities we did were never throw away activities; they all served a purpose and propelled the class and the learning forward. The trip to HoTB was awesome! I know thats not an academic word, but lets face it, its the best word to describe that experience. It gave us a chance to be a part of a larger community effort to promote lifelong learning, intergenerational learning, experiential education, and a numerous other progressive and interactive ways of learning. And, for me at least, it was incredibly therapeutic. It was an opportunity to do something creative and soul satisfying where I didnt have to feel like my participation was at the expense of some other, more important responsibility. Though I wish this wasnt the case, I sometimes need an excuse to do things just for fun, this class was my excuse, it was 3 hours that I had already set aside for class and it just so happened that class involved doing something fun and relaxing and just, so, necessary. As for aspects of the class that hindered my learning, I think my only complaint would be that oftentimes our conversations got cut short due to lack of time or needing to Page 3 of 12

move on. And this isnt a critique of the class so much as its a testament to just how engaged we, as a class, were in the material. As Im thinking about the assignments and how I completed them, I am reminded of one that I didnt complete which leads me to one other critique of the class. I didnt complete the cohort paper assignment and the reason was that I simply didnt have the time to go to someone elses workplace due to my own schedule being so full. This semester I worked full time at one job, got my hours cut, got another job (always staying at 40 hours all semester long), got my hours cut again, got a third job, managed a softball team of adults, cofacilitated two research classes with Mike Baizerman, moved into a new apartment, broke up with my long term partner, scrambled to make ends meet in order to pay for an apartment I could not afford alone, and other things I cant rememberso needless to say, I had a lot going on that made it difficult for me to make that project work. I understand the point of the assignment, and I wish I could have completed it, but I also have a hard time with assignments that require me to adjust to others schedules for obvious reasons. So Im torn. I wouldnt advocate nixing the assignment, but I also know that even though a lot of others completed it-it was no easy feat. So maybe offering an alternative assignment so that we still are able to experience another cohort members leadership/work style while still being able to balance our own responsibilities? Other than the cohort paper, I completed all of my other assignments and participated a lot in class discussions. Im a little embarrassed to say that I actually tried, and failed, to speak less in class. I hate feeling like Im talking too much or dominating the conversation and sometimes I felt like that in class, so I was very aware and intentional with my participation. I tried to hold back as much as I could so other classmates could contribute but I also paid attention to the silences in order to keep conversations going. You did a lot to help me ease this fear and I dont know that you even knew you were doing so. You helped me by always actively listening and interacting with what I had to say. It helped me to understand Page 4 of 12

that even if I was talking a lot, my voice was heard and important to the conversation. This is something Ive struggled with a lot, valuing my own voice and experiencing others as valuing it too, but this class definitely helped me to become more confident in my voice and my experiences. In this class I was challenged to push myself but I found myself doing so, not because of a grade incentive, but because I really wanted to do so. Ive learned so much about myself as a learner, not the least of which would be that I can be my kind of learner and still be academic, they are not mutually exclusive. Ive always had a hard time understanding myself as a learner when it comes to academia. I know how I learn. I know that Im an intelligent person, in a variety of intelligences. And I know that I love to learn. But I never really considered the way that I learn to be academic, or worthy of a battle of the minds with those who learn how the traditional academic world expects them to. Just last semester I struggled with seeing myself as having enough experience to contribute to conversations. I was the second youngest person in my YDL cohort, Id been working with toddlers and families more than young people for the past few years, and I was fresh out of Youth Studies undergrad. And I was in class with people whod been working with/on behalf of young people for 5, 10, 20, even 40 years! I believed what I had to say, but as soon as someone with more experience than me disagreed, I suddenly lost use of my words. Id stammer, stutter and generally sound like Id never spoken in front of anyone before. I knew better, my fellow, YoSt undergrads knew better, heck, even my professor knew better. But still, I struggled. This class seemed to level the playing field a bit, those whod been in the field for years were being exposed to new ideas about learning and teaching and those of us new-bloods suddenly had more experience having just finished a program with a strong focus on experiential education. This, to me, was an eye opening experience, one that I intend to remember whenever I start to lose my voice in a see of more experienced folks.

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Another thing I learned about myself as a learner, was that sometimes I need someone to give me permission to explore. This was surprising to me! Id been provided with a lot of opportunities to explore things I cared about, to do passion projects, so one would think Id have a better personal understanding of the freedom these projects entail. In fact, I encourage my students in the classes I co-teach to explore and have fun with their learning, I tell them that its not what you produce so much as being engaged in the process of learning. I get it. But when it comes to myself as the learner, I fall right back into the structured, traditional schooling I grew up with- Im in school so I need to do a school project. Having you ask me what Ive always wanted to do really helped me to think about my learning in the way that I encourage my students to. I needed, unbeknownst to myself, for someone to give me permission, to invite me, to do what I already knew how to do. I hope that being aware of this need makes me better at inviting myself to learn and explore. One of my personal strengths coming into this class was definitely my ability to lead a group and facilitate learning, so I appreciated having the opportunity to use those skills in the classroom. One challenge that I encountered occurred during the Dewey lessons, when we had to teach our chapter to the class. I was partnered with two guys Id never worked with before who had very different experiences than I had and who had a harder time grasping the main ideas of the chapter. It was difficult for me to balance my multiple roles in this group. The first day we met, I had come up with an idea to make our lesson tangible to our classmates but my partners didnt feel confident enough in their understanding to start planning yet. So we waited. And two nights before the presentation I finally heard from them and by then it was too late to prepare my activity. This was really a challenging situation for me because I was caught between being a student who understood the concepts and wanted to do a good job presenting to the class and being a facilitator who is very familiar with adapting to varying levels of understanding amongst a group.

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Our project ended up going really well and Im happy with how it played out, but I can tell you honestly that I was a very unhappy camper in terms of feeling like I was a part of my group. I felt like a third wheel and even though we did well when it came down to it, the stress of relying on others to cooperatively create a learning experience that my grade depended on was a lot to handle. Through this activity I learned that I need to be more aware of the roles I play and remember that I have a right to be a student too; that when Im in a classroom as a learner, I want to be able to be the learner and to advocate for myself as such. I need to remember that sometimes I can be selfish and speak up as a student even though as a facilitator I might do things differently. Im not sure this is coming out rightbut if youre curious, Id be happy to try and explain this concept better!

Grading myself is a daunting task. But, mostly because its required, Im going to give it my best shot! First, I have to decide how to evaluate myself. I think a fair evaluation would have to include: Assignments- Did I turned them in or not? Was it quality work? Did it answer the questions asked/meet the goals provided? Did they demonstrate my understanding of experiential education and related ideas? Participation- Did I participate in class? If not, was my learning demonstrated elsewhere? Did my participation show a mastery or working knowledge of new ideas/readings/topics? Personal growth- Did I challenge myself? Did I set goals and meet them? Or did I skate by on the minimum requirements? Did I step out of my comfort zone? Application- Can I use what Ive learned in a practical way? Do I know how to facilitate experiential education in a youth work setting? Can I translate what Ive learned to different learning situations?

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Peer education- Did I make efforts to help peers learn and take opportunities to learn from them? Was I supportive of peers in their exploration of ideas/skills/etc.? Using these evaluation tools I would give myself an A-. Why? Throughout the class, I participated and contributed fully in all discussions and did so in a way that I believe demonstrated my understanding of the ideas, themes, theories, thinkers, etc. I would say that it was apparent from my participation that I had done the readings outside of class and came prepared to class. On that note, I acknowledge that I missed a few classes and understand that it is important to be present in order to learn-but I would argue that I made up for the absences by being fully present when I was in class. I turned in, and engaged, all of the assignments except for the Cohort Paper which I explained earlier. I docked points for that. I wish Id done it. But I gave myself credit for pushing myself and challenging myself in the other assignments. I worked really hard on all of the assignments I completed and I think it showed in the final products. Ive also been able to use experiential education techniques in my youth work and have been able to fine tune methods Id been using already. I know its expected that people would grade themselves well, but (in keeping with my earlier learning goal) Im going to take this time to advocate for myself as a learner. And, as a learner, I think Ive definitely earned an A-, even with the few faults.

Question for Self: What was your goal at the beginning of the year? Did you achieve it? Explain. I still have my note card from the first day of class. This is what it says: I hope to walk away from this class with an even stronger understanding of experiential educationdifferent from that of previous classes. I also hope to strengthen old friendships/sense of community [with my cohort] and gain a better understanding of Dr. Ross and my relationship. Below this I also wrote: Get inside of my mind via others understanding of me & social dialogue. These sound cryptic, but Ill elaborate. Page 8 of 12

First off, the easy part, I definitely gained a better (more complex) understanding of experiential education and how to apply it to my work. I came into this class with a very strained relationship with my cohort; I hadnt bonded with them much at all in the previous semester, though theyd bonded fairly quickly with each other. But throughout this class Ive had more opportunities to work with individuals and really get to know who they are, what makes them tick, and where they came from/what brought them here. Im very happy that I was able to do that, I believe the idea of a learning cohort is important and I didnt want to leave grad school having missed out on it completely. This is not to say that our community is perfect, it is no way that, but its better. And with time, one can only hope the trend continues. As for my goal to understand yours and mine relationship, this came from me not really knowing where I stood with you. The only other class Ive taken with you was Urban Youth and in that classwellI walked away feeling as though you and I hadnt found a way to see eye to eye. Now, I have no idea if this was just my understanding of the semester or you experienced this too. And I have no idea if this was strictly in-class interactions or those combined with me having yet to figure out myself as a learner/academic woman yet, but needless to say, I was worried about taking this class. But I didnt want my past experience to color my experience in this class, so I made a goal and I stuck to it. And, Ill tell you what, it was easy to stick to. I dont know if it was because of anything in particular or just the nature of time and growth and all of that, but this time around I felt a strong connection with you in the classroom and I felt as though you really wanted to hear what I had to say. I know this probably seems more confusing than anything, but I dont want to focus on the past events so much as I want to point out that the improvement was epic and incredibly meaningful to me. I walked away from the class every Tuesday night not wanting it to end. I walked away feeling heard. I walked away feeling respected and understood. Goal met. Page 9 of 12

Lastly, I wanted to try and understand myself by understanding how others experience me. I didnt want to do this for shallow reasons, but rather to become more self aware of how I come across to others because sometimes your message, no matter how amazing, can get lost in how your audience sees you or interprets you. This is one goal that I didnt get to actively work on, but that is okay with me. Its an ongoing goal and one that will surely take a lot of time to fully develop. So, heres to learning more next semester!

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To whom it may concern: Im writing to you in order to express my complete support of integrating an experiential education approach into your classroom. The benefits to this style of learning and teaching are far reaching, both in time and impact. In this era of ever-improving technology and widespread access to global knowledge, it is important, if not absolutely necessary, for educators to equip their students with the tools necessary to become lifelong learners. When the world is changing so quickly, and at such staggering rates, it becomes apparent that learning can no longer end when school ends. This may have worked during the industrial revolution when skills necessary to find work were fewer and jobs were more plentiful, but it no longer benefits our children to use these outdated and archaic models of education. Experiential education asks educators to take on a more involved, intentional and creative role when planning for learning. Where a traditional educator would focus solely on textbooks, slideshows and tests an experiential educator would engage learners via hands on activities, cross subject learning, peer interaction and relevant material. Experiential education doesnt just call for a change in activities but also in the nature of the classroom. The classroom can no longer be a stationary space with desks and chairs fixed in place and immovable. It can no longer be a place where only one kind of learning is valued or recognized. And it can certainly no longer be a place where the teacher is the holder of knowledge, bestowing it upon his/her students as they see fit. The experiential classroom may sound like chaos on paper, and in all honesty, it must be willing to welcome some chaos, but it is a chaotic energy well worth the extra effort. Where someone unfamiliar with experiential education may see a classroom where kids spend most of their day out of their desk and engaged in a multitude of active activities as an invitation for craziness and lack of order, someone who understands the nature of learning and experience would see a classroom full of learners developing skills that will be useful and relevant to their lives, they would see students mastering hands on skills in an effort to better understand complex, abstract ideas. Page 11 of 12

And they would see an educator who has gained the respect and adoration of his/her students by simply welcoming their voice and experiences into the classroom. Though by many traditional standards experiential education may seem like a nothing more than wishful thinking, research shows that students learn better when given opportunities to learn via different styles and in a hands-on way. It is well worth the extra effort and the results will show in the reactions of students to learning. They will go from rote memorization of what they experience as useless facts to a fuller understanding of more complex ideas that they are able to translate to their everyday lives. And if were not teaching our children to succeed in their everyday lives, than what are we teaching them?

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