5 Habits That Destroy Your Long-Term Relationship Potential

1. Talking About Your Love Lie As Though !t"s A Pro#e$t

Anyone %ho gets re&uently lost in long $onversations about the state o their
love lie' an( (is$usses )it" as though it %ere an ob#e$t' as in *ho% is it
(oing+, an( *is it in a goo( pla$e no%+,' might as %ell be %earing a bumper
sti$ker that says *-./.R (ate me 0 !"m a neuroti$ (isaster %ho %ill probably
blog about you imme(iately ater this (ate an( a(( you to my long list o
(ating stories,.
You might vie% your love lie as a pro#e$t 1an( i you (o ! a(vise you to stop
no%2' but at the very least stop (iagnosing an( e3amining it through a
mi$ros$ope as though you %ere $ataloguing the lie-$y$le o a ne% ba$teria.
The same goes or being a relationship martyr. 4ease all $onversations in
%hi$h you e3press your pu55lement at not 6n(ing a great guy. 7r %orst o all'
that $onversation %here you bemoan the a$t great guys (on"t even e3ist
1be$ause that really (oes turn-o8 great guys2.
-o guy %ants to save you 0 great guys %ant to $hoose you. An( that means
not making him eel like he"s a $hapter in your o%n personal 9ri(get :ones
(ating saga.
;. .3$essively 4omplaining
People (o this one all the time %ithout even reali5ing. Try or #ust this %eek to
$ount the number o times you $omplain about something to a rien( or
$olleague 1or even a (ate2 an( ! guarantee you"ll be sho$ke(.
<e all have to blo% o8 steam. !t"s a natural therapy to get out rustration.
9ut noti$e i you"re=
1a2 4omplaining #ust to make $onversation
1b2 4omplaining to in(ulge
1$2 4omplaining about something that (oesn"t really matter 1%hi$h is nearly
everything2
There are unny %ays to $omplain' an( there are times %hen it"s appropriate
to sho% you %on"t stan( or something. 9ut the point here is about re&uen$y.
Re$ent resear$h has sho%n that $ouples nee( a 5=1 ratio o positive to
negative intera$tions. Think o every time you $omplain about something on
a (ate as a negative intera$tion' an( seek to minimi5e it as mu$h as possible.
>. Running Yoursel Do%n 1A Lot2
?ost people strike the balan$e %rong %hen it $omes to sel-(epre$ating
humour.
The point o sel-(epre$ating humour is to point to a little oible or
short$oming you have' an( make yoursel the butt o a #oke. <hen use(
sparingly an( $on6(ently this $an be very e8e$tive. 9ut a lot o people over-
use it' or ten( to leave out the humour part an( #ust appear to others to be
running themselves (o%n all the time' %hi$h makes you look inse$ure.
People %ho point out their @a%s too mu$h lose the $harm o being @a%e( an(
en( up #ust looking like someone %ho $onstantly airs their inse$urities out to
the %orl(' %hether it"s over their %eight' their intelligen$e' or some ailure in
their $areer they $an"t move on rom.
The truth about most @a%s is that people are looking to see ho% you (eal
%ith them. ! you $onstantly bring them up in a negative %ay' it signals that
you (on"t respe$t yoursel an( that %hatever the hang-up is' you are in no
%ay $omortable about it.
-o%' ! say this one %ith trepi(ation' be$ause ! kno% #ust ho% nauseating the
opposite kin( o person $an be= The absur(ly $ontente( over-the-top positive
nar$issist %ho loves themselves an( is unalteringly $on6(ent is also #ust as
repellant' an( usually $omes a$ross as ake an( inauthenti$.
4on$lusion= There is al%ays a balan$e bet%een being $o$ky an( sel-
(epre$ating' but as a general prin$iple= minimi5e the sel-$riti$ism in publi$
1plenty o others %ill $riti$i5e you any%ay2. !t might be un to in(ulge in it
o$$asionally' but no-one %ants to live %ith the person %ho $onstantly treats
themselves as a $onsolation pri5e.
A. Bailing To 4urb -ee(iness
-ee(iness in$lu(es any behaviour that sho%s you aren"t sel-vali(ate(. The
%orst kin( are things like= te3tingC$alling a guy too mu$h' nee(ing $onstant
praise an( attention' being possessive an( #ealous' being so (esperate or
approval that you agree %ith everything a guy says' or #ust sho%ing that you
$an"t en#oy yoursel %ithout him.
People $an get a%ay %ith nee(iness at 6rst i a guy is alrea(y attra$te(' but
ater a e% months he"ll (evelop a $reeping sense o (rea( an( be (esperate
to es$ape as &ui$kly as possible.
5. 9eing Dhallo% An( 7bsesse( <ith Eossip
Dhallo%ness oten goes %ith being sel-absorbe(.
!t"s another one o those traits that has a lie-span. ! a %oman ti$ks lots o
other bo3es' a guy %ill put up %ith it or a %hile 0 but eventually it be$omes
%earing an( makes him $rave (eeper an( more intelle$tual $ompany.
Try to noti$e i your (eault is to $onstantly slip into gossiping about your
rien(s' or i you ten( to avoi( (eep sub#e$ts an( al%ays keep things at a
sura$e level. Dhallo%ness usually goes han( in han( %ith being boring' so
it"s $ru$ial to un(erstan( the basi$s o intriguing $onversation that %ill let you
e3plore his personality more 1an( reveal more o your o%n2.
These things might seem like they re&uire enormous $hanges' but in my
e3perien$e' #ust being a%are o an unattra$tive $hara$teristi$ $an take you a
long %ay to%ar(s ironing it out o your personality. 4han$es are you sho% a
e% o these traits rom time to time 1%hi$h %e all (o2. Pi$k the one or t%o
that you think might apply to you' an( make a $ommitment or the ne3t >F
(ays to iron them out.
<hat are the biggest turn-o8 behaviours you noti$e in guys+ Let me kno% in
the $omments belo%G