TWENTY-THREE

NOTE: ClarketalkstoAbbyaboutLexa+maybesomething
withLexasparentsandletsgobacktoschool.

November 11th 2016 Saturday

Can we talk? Clarke asked her mom later at night. It was a little
late and Clarke was almost surprised that she was home on a
Saturday night; Raven and Octavia were busy as far as Clarke knew,
and Lexa was feeling better and decided to call it a night a little
early today (but she did promise to call Clarke if that changed). As
much as Clarke didnt mind a quiet night in, spending quality time
with her mom wasnt the best use of her time; especially
considering the fact that it consisted of staring blankly at the TV and
not so much as talking.
About what? Abby asked distractedly, not looking away from the
TV screen.
Lexa. She stated simply, waiting to get her moms attention.
What about her? She turned to look at Clarke.
You know how the morning after my birthday, you told me you had
a bad feeling about her. She reminded her mom. But you never
really told me what it was or why you felt that way.
And you told me there was nothing any of us could do to change
the fact that she was your soulmate. Abby reminded her of their

conversation from almost two months ago. So its nothing

important. She tried to brush it off, turning back to the TV screen.
No, Clarke sat up straight. It is important. You made a big deal
out of it then and even now, youre not a hundred percent okay with
Lexa. She told her. So I think I deserve to know why. After last
night, Clarke had an idea as to why her mom felt that way; but then
again, she could be wrong. And she loved Lexa, she was the person
Clarke was going to spend the rest of her life with, so yes, she
wanted to know why her mom had a problem with her.
Abby thought about how to answer for a moment before finally
speaking. I think its best I dont tell you. She paused again. For
one, it wont change anything. And second, I think Lexa should be
the one to tell you. Clarke only gave her mom a confused look,
tilting her head slightly and almost wanting to ask what she meant.
Its something personal, about her. She finally explained.
Shes told me a lot of things, so you have to be more specific.
Clarke waited a moment for her mom to respond but when she
didnt, she continued. And how would you know?
I have access to medical records. Abby sighed, going silent for a
moment. Did she tell you about her parents? She asked but before
Clarke could continue, Abby spoke again. Not the family who
adopted her but her birth parents?
Clarke only nodded slowly, not needing to say anything about it.
What does that have to do with anything?
Did she tell you about her father? Clarke nodded, realizing Lexa
was right in thinking thats why Abby had a problem with her. Well

kids with She paused, looking for the right word. Problematic
pasts usually end uplike their parents.
You cant honestly expect me think that Lexa would turn out
anything like that. Clarke said, almost not believing what her mom
was saying. This is Lexa were talking aboutI mean, you have met
her right? She asked rhetorically.
Abby only sighed. I dont want you to get hurt okay? She tried. I
hope Im wrong about her butI just think its best you take it slow,
make sure youre right about her.
I know I am. She told her mom. And did you look up her medical
records? Clarke asked, tilting her head as she narrowed her eyes
slightly. Looking at her medical, come on? Really?
I did, Abby nodded slowly, before noticing the disapproving look
she was getting from her daughter. Come on, Clarke, if your dad
was still here, you know he wouldve done a background search on
her.
Clarke sighed, knowing she was right. Her dad passed away when
she was thirteen; he was a police officer who got shot in the line of
duty. But her mom was right, he would definitely do that; Jake was
protective of Clarke, maybe a bit too much but unlike her mom, he
knew where the line was. Okay, maybe there wasnt much
difference between her mom looking up Lexas medical records and
her dad running a background search on her. But She thought
about it for a moment before realizing, dad would never ask me to
take things slowly with Lexa. He would see how much she meant
to Clarke and see Lexa for who she was rather than her past. But
dad wouldnt ask me to take things slow just because she had a
problematic past. She made air-quotes around those two words,

quoting her mom. He would see Lexa for she was, not anything
else. Clarke waited for her mom to say something but Abby didnt.
Give her a fair shot, okay? Its been ten years since she was
adopted; shes spent more time with her family here then with her
birth parents.
Youre right, Abby said with a single nod. But you cant help me
from worrying about you.
Yes, Clarke agreed; she understood where her mom was coming
from, she did, but she still didnt like how her mom felt about Lexa.
Mom, I love her, okay? She asked, I would really appreciate it if
you could at least make an effort to get to know her. Like really get
to know her, not look up her medical records and draw conclusions
from there know her.
Okay, Abby agreed, Clarke was right, she hadnt really made an
effort to get to know her. Well, Abby didnt really know Lexa; now
that she thought about it, theyve barely even had a proper
conversation. Why dont we have dinner together? She offered.
With Lexa and her mom. Abby shrugged, I dont really know Indra
either.
Clarke nodded, And she doesnt really know you. She gave her
mom a small smile; this was nice, well it was a step in the right
direction at least. So yeah, lets do that.
Abby smiled at her daughter, Well talk to her, maybe next
Saturday?
Saturday might not be good for them. She replied, getting a
questioning look from her mom. Lexas going through something

right now, so I dont know if theyre going to have it sorted out by

Saturday.
Something? Abby asked, waiting for Clarke to explain.
She let out a long sigh; Abby was just starting to warm up to Lexa,
well she was willing to give her a fair shot before coming to a
conclusion, and this would probably push her backwards. Lexa got
a letter from her mom. Clarke started. Her birth mom She
noticed her moms expression change. Thats why she was here
last night. Clarke continued. It brought back a lot of memories for
her and god, she was just so broken up.
Her mom? Abby asked.
Yes, She nodded. But Lexa wants nothing to do with her, so this
doesnt mean anything. This doesnt mean you should go back to
thinking of her like theres something wrong with her.
She thought about it for a moment, thinking back to the previous
night; Lexa looked upset, Abby had picked up on that and maybe
Clarke was right. Okay, Ill stick to what I said and give her a fair
shot.
Thank you. Clarke let out a small sigh of relief. Ill talk to her, see
when we can do dinner.
12th November 2016 - Monday
Someone didnt get much sleep last night. Octavia said to Lexa as
she and Raven walked up to Clarke and Lexa by the lockers before
class.

Lexa brought up a hand to her mouth, trying to stifle a yawn and

failing. That would be me, yeah. She nodded distractedly.
Pulled an all-nighter for the math test today? Raven asked
casually.
Lexas eyes shot up in Ravens direction. Pulled a what for what?
She tilted her head slightly having no idea what Raven was talking
about as panic surged through her.
Suddenly Raven and Octavia burst out laughing, We dont even
have math today. She replied, finally managing to stop laughing.
Lexa sighed, relaxing again. Cant believe you got me with that. If
anything she was a little impressed.
Slept late? Clarke asked, placing a hand on Lexas back,
comforting her from their two terrible friends.
Didnt sleep at all. She replied, tilting her head and letting it fall on
Clarkes shoulder. Lexa wasnt usually this affectionate in public, at
all really, especially at school. But she was too tired to think about it
now.
Everything okay? Octavia asked, a little confused, maybe even
worried.
Yeah, yeah, Im fine. Lexa answered as she brought her head up,
that didnt sound convincing, at all.
No youre not. Clarke muttered, not thinking as she brought her
arms up around Lexa. She felt Lexa let out a small sigh as she

hugged her back, arms wrapping around Clarkes back. Lexa had her
back to Raven and Octavia so Clarke could see the questioning looks
on their faces. She only shook her head at them slightly, wanting to
ask them to not bring it up to Lexa. You need a minute? Clarke
asked her quietly, whispering into her ear.
Lexa shook her head slightly, muttering a small no as she pulled
away. Im just tired. The bell went off just as she finished, almost
thankful for it because now she wouldnt have to explain anything to
Raven and Octavia. And really sleepy. She said to Clarke, taking a
sip from her travel mug as they walked towards their first class.
Couldnt sleep? Clarke asked as they walked down the hallway.
Lexa only shook her head. Theres just way too much going on in
my head right now and it wont shut up.
Clarke stopped suddenly, realizing how Lexa sounded annoyed,
almost pissed two things Clarke was unaccustomed to hear from
her. She put her hand on Lexas arm, stopping her too. Are you sure
youre okay?
She nodded, forcing out a small smile and regretting the tone of her
voice. Dont worry about me, Im fine.
The rest of the day was uneventful; Lexa being out of it for the most
part due to the lack of sleep, and to her surprise, Raven and Octavia
didnt bring it up or even ask her if anything was wrong. But they
did ask Clarkemore than once; yeah, they can be persistent
sometimes. And stubborn but Clarke was just as bad so they
couldnt really get much out of her other than, Shes going through
something. and eventually Its not my place. Raven wanted to
ask Lexa about it, she really did, and she came very close to doing it

too but Clarke wouldnt let herOctavia wouldnt either for some
reason. Well, she wouldnt admit it to Raven, but Octavia cared
about Lexa and she could see something was bothering her. And
Clarke seemed pretty determined to not have either of them ask
Lexa about it so it mustve been something serious.
They had gone to over to Clarkes place after school; there was a
history test tomorrow and studying together seemed like a good
idea right now, especially to Lexa because her mind was too
preoccupied with everything else to be paying attention to work.
Neither of them were up for studying straight away given school had
finished only a little while go. And Lexa could barely keep herself
awake so maybe a nap sounded a lot better. Lexa turned to lie on
her back as Clarke moved closer to her as she felt Clarkes arm wrap
around her waist and she closed her eyes, realizing how she finally
felt at ease with her.
You sure youre okay? Clarke asked quietly.
Lexa nodded. Just tired. Her voice was barely audible; the lack
absence of sleep, the feeling of Clarke next to her, and the softly
lit room making it harder to stay awake and probably making
keeping her brain from functioning properly.
You need to sleep. She replied, noticing Lexas tone as she tilted
her head up slightly to kiss Lexas jaw. At least a couple of hours.
Lexa only nodded, bringing an arm up around Clarke as she let out a
small breath and relaxed against her.
.
So what are you gonna do? Clarke asked about an hour later after
theyd woken up. Lexa was lying on her back with Clarkes head on

her chest; neither of them had said anything for a while and there
was a comfortable silence between them.
Lexa blinked, bringing herself back to reality as she heard Clarke.
Umm She thought for a moment. I dont really know. She
knew Clarke was asking about the letter she had gotten yesterday;
it was all she had been thinking about so obviously Clarke picked up
on it still bothering her. Probably nothing. Lexa added with a
shrug. I dont plan on replying, I just want to forget about it really.
Clarke hummed in acknowledgement as she continued. There is no
point in replying if all its going to say is I dont want to hear from
you ever again. It almost surprised her how at ease she was
talking about to Clarke right nowor maybe Lexa was surprised at
how at ease she was around Clarke, not only about this. There was
just something about Clarke, the way she made Lexa feel; no one
else really made her feel like this until now at ease, relaxed,
contentsafe. Sure, she felt most of these around her family but it
wasdifferent with Clarke and Lexa couldnt really explain how.
Yeah, Clarke muttered. You think theyre going to stop trying to
reach out to you?
Well, I hope so. She replied.