TWENTY-SIX

[SHOULD I

BE WORRIED?]

NOTE:Collegetalk+Clarkedrawingasharpietattooon
Lexa+casualness

xwords
xpages

December 8th 2016 Thursday

My Sun and Stars
4:03pm
LOOK ITS YOU!!!
The phone silently lighting up next to her notebook pulled Lexa back
into reality. Looking up from her notebook, she dropped her pencil
and picked it up. Unlocking it, Lexa looked down at the screen
suspiciously, waiting for the picture loaded. An unimpressed look fell
on her face as she looked at the picture before turning her eyes to
look away for a moment; it was a stuffed animal, a stuffed raccoon
with big, sparkly eyes to be exact. It was cute, yes, but Lexa
couldnt help but roll her eyes at it.
Lexacoon
4:04pm
Were still on the raccoon thing?
Lexacoon
4:04pm
It was *one* time, Clarkeover two months ago.

Lexacoon
4:04pm
Can we please let this go?
My Sun and Stars
4:05pm
No.
My Sun and Stars
4:05pm
I like it. Its cute.
Lexa only let out a small sigh, shaking her head slowly before
setting her phone down and returning to work. It didnt last long
though, because the screen lit up again only about a minute later.
My Sun and Stars
4:07pm
Youre cute.
A huge smile broke out on Lexas face as her eyes scanned over the
two words and it took her a moment before she could force herself
to go back to her work. Clarke was out with Raven and Octavia,
Lexas not really sure where but they had left a little after school.
Lexa on the other hand, was stuck at home because she had a math
test tomorrow and welllets just say she wasnt prepared for it.
When Clarke had asked how much Lexa had to study for the test,
she had replied with I know what its onthats about it That
wasnt like her, not really, but in Lexas defense, this was math after
all and she has been drowning in work from everything else for the
past couple of weeks. She knew it was an important test and that it
would make up a large percentage of her finale grade so she had do
well no matter what. Clarke said she would come over later,

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insisting that she wanted to help her study but Lexa told her she
didnt have to; there are very few things that are as boring as doing
math but dont tell Raven that.
My Sun and Stars
4:20pm
Hows the work going?
Lexacoon
4:21pm
My head hasnt exploded yet, so I would say its going pretty good.
My Sun and Stars
4:21pm
I like ure pretty head where it is. So take a break if you need to,
okay?
.
I cant anymore. Lexa spoke suddenly, shaking her head as she
practically threw the pencil in her hand on to the notebook in front
of her. I officially give up.
Clarke let out a small sigh, pushing herself off her place on Lexas
bed as she made her way to her. Youll get there, dont give up
now.
I cant get this one right, She turned her head to look up at Clarke.
I have been at it for the past 15 minutes. Shaking her head, Lexa
brought her hand up, rubbing her tired eyes. It makes zero sense.
Youll figure it out, She tried, her arms going around Lexas
shoulder as Clarke hugged her from behind.

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Lexa let out a sigh, letting herself relax as she leaned back against
Clarke. I dont think I am. She paused for a moment, her hand on
Clarkes arm. Im screwed tomorrow.
Youll be fine. She tried to reassure her. Youve been at it all day.
Clarke pressed her lips against Lexas temple before standing up
straight again.
Its still not enough. Lexa told her, letting her head fall on the
desk. I need at least a B tomorrow. She continued, her voice
slightly muffled against the wooden top of her desk. And I dont
think I can get it.
You will. Clarke tried again, speaking more slowly this time, trying
to let her words get to Lexa. You should get some sleep Lexa, its
almost midnight.
Yeah, She agreed, finally bringing her head up. Youre probably
right, I think Ive done as much as I couldve. Pushing herself off
her chair, Lexa stood up. I dont think it will do me much good if I
cant even keep myself awake during the test.
Mm-hmm, Clarke nodded, taking a step closer to Lexa and snaking
her arms around her neck. It was almost instinctive on Lexas part,
but her arms came up instantly, loosely wrapping around Clarkes
waist as she looked up at her, almost expecting Clarke to say
something that might help put her at ease even slightly about
tomorrow. Youre going to be fine tomorrow, Clarke told her gently,
almost like she could read her mind. I know youre worried about it,
but babe, cut yourself some slack, okay? Clarke inched closer,
touching Lexas nose with hers.

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Im trying. She leaned closer, resting her forehead against

Clarkes. I just cant mess this up tomorrow.
You wont. Clarke told her, tilting her head slightly to reach Lexas
lips, kissing her gently. I know you wont. Clarke knew how much
Lexa cared about her grades; and math was probably the only
subject holding her back right now because she was passing all her
other classes with flying colors. And Clarke also knew how much it
would hurt Lexa if this one test came in the way of her and a perfect
GPA.
Thank you. Lexa said quietly, kissing the tip of Clarkes nose
before pulling away and taking a step back, putting some space
between the two of them.
Now get some sleep, Clarke smiled at her, beginning to step away.
I mean; you do want to be able to wake up in the morning right?
Lexa returned her smile, nodding. I love you, you know that right?
She asked just as Clarke opened the bedroom door, about to leave.
Clarke stopped, turning around to face Lexa again; it sounded like
an actual question. Of course I do. She answered. I love you too.
.
December 17th 2016 Saturday
You have nice arms. Clarke said absentmindedly, her fingers
tracing patterns on Lexas bicep. The two of them were at Clarkes
place, just wanting to spend some quiet time with each other;
school had been keeping them both busy the last couple of weeks
so they wanted a quiet night in, just the two of them. Lexa was lying

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in Clarkes arms, both of them in bed and under the comforter with
Lexas laptop in front of them as she scrolled through Netflix, trying
to find something decent to watch.
What? Lexa asked quietly, taken aback by the random comment.
You know what would look really cool? Clarke asked another
question instead of giving her an explanation. Lexa didnt reply, only
turned her to look up at her, giving Clarke a questioning look. A
tattoo. Clarke replied, still tracing patterns on her girlfriends
perfectly toned arm. I think I have a Sharpie. She asked suddenly,
pushing herself up slightly.
Clarke? Lexa gave her a slightly confused look, sitting up
straight to let her get up. It took Lexa a moment but she was finally
starting to catch on to what Clarke was probably talking about. Lexa
had noticed Clarke tracing patterns on her arm but she hadnt
thought much about it really, only that it felt calming.
Clarke didnt reply, only got out of bed and made her way towards
her desk before opening a drawer and shuffling through it. Got it.
She said triumphantly after a moment, walking back towards the
bed.
You want to draw it? Lexa asked with a small smile, raising her
eyebrows slightly.
Can I? Clarke asked in return, hesitating slightly because she
was too caught up in thinking about the design to even tell Lexa
what she was actually thinking about until just now.

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Lexa only gave her a shrug, Yeah, why not? She sat up straight
again, letting Clarke go back to her spot behind Lexa, giving her a
better look at Lexas arm.
Do you mind if itskind of big?
No, Lexa shook her head, relaxing again as she finally found a
movie to watch and clicked on it.
Good, Clarke nodded, uncapping the marker. Now sit still, and
pretend Im not here. She told her as the tip finally touched Lexas
skin.
Lexa gave her a quiet hum in response, doing as Clarke had asked
and turned her attention to the movie. No, she had no idea what
Clarke was drawing on her but Lexa didnt really mind; Clarke knew
what she was doing and that was enough. After the first half hour,
Lexa had completely forgotten about what Clarke was doing, paying
attention to nothing but whatever was playing on the laptop in front
of her. It took Clarke a while, almost the entire movie in fact, before
she was finally done.
Done, Clarke spoke suddenly, reminding Lexa she was still here as
Clarke capped the marker and put it aside. Take a look.
Lexa brought her arm up towards herself, looking down at the
intricate pattern Clarke had been working on. Wow, She breathed
out, looking up at Clarke. Clarke, that looks amazing. Lexa told
her, pushing herself off the bed and making her way to the mirror on
the wall opposite to get a better look at it.
Clarke smiled at Lexas reaction, walking up behind her, You like
it?

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Its beautiful. Lexa replied, looking at the reflection, almost

wishing it wasnt just a Sharpie tattoo. How did you even draw
that? She asked, impressed to say the least. And with a Sharpie?
Well, I was working on an impressive canvas. Clarke replied with a
smirk. You workouta lot She muttered quietly.
Not a lot. Lexa shrugged.
A lot. Clarke corrected.
I kind of wish it wasnt just Sharpie, She spoke to Clarke, her eyes
still glued to the mirror. Ill feel bad washing it off. Lexa flexed her
arm, not realizing Clarke would notice it as she tried to get a better
look at the pattern when Clarke spoke.
Im going to take a picture, Im proud of myself for this one, She
told Lexa as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Okay, flex
again.
Clarke Lexa lowered her head, giving her a slightly embarrassed
look.
Oh, come on.
Lexa let out a small sigh, doing as Clarke asked and only putting her
arm away once Clarke was done. Clarke hadnt even put her phone
back into her pocket when she suddenly felt Lexas hand on the side
on her face, pulling her in for a kiss. Mmm, Clarke hummed into it,
taking a moment to realize what was happening. It took her by
surprise to say the least but Clarke kissed back, pushing back
slightly with the same force Lexa was kissing her. It was nothing like

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the short and innocent kisses theyd exchanged earlier today around
their friends; anything but really, they were both a lot more into it
this time and it wasnt long before Clarkes hands went up to run her
fingers through Lexas hair. Lexas hands moved down, coming to
rest on Clarkes hip, steadying them both as she felt Clarke bite
down on her lower lip, slightly harder than usual. She wasnt
expecting it neither was Clarke but the moan that escaped Lexa
at that caught them both by surprise. She could feel Clarkes lips
curling into a smile at her reaction before the two of them had to
pull away, gasping for air.
So Clarke started once she had caught her breath enough to
speak, unable to hide the smugness in her voice. You like it when I
do that?
I dont know what youre talking about. Lexa retorted, looking
away and hoping Clarke didnt see the redness creeping up her
cheeks.
Oh? Clarke asked, taking a step towards her, her own cheeks
burning. cause when I bit down on yo -
Okay, She spoke suddenly, looking up in an attempt to stop her.
Lets never bring that up again, please.
So you did like it. Clarke nodded in conclusion, waited for Lexa to
say something but she only let out a long sigh, walking back
towards the bed. Good to know Clarke added, following closely
behind.
Sitting back down on the bed, Lexa shook her head, suppressing a
smile as she exited the Netflix tab and clicked on the Gmail
bookmark. Clarke didnt say anything else about it but there was no

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way she was letting it go; Lexa Woods probably had a biting kink.
And Clarke was determined to find out whether that probably should
be in that sentence at all. What did you just watch? She asked
Lexa as she settled back into bed. I saw Cap and there was
fighting, so Im going take a wild guess and say it was Marvel.
Lexa nodded, scrolling through her emails. The First Avenger.
I took two hours to do that? Clarke asked, looking down at Lexas
arm.
Lexa nodded again, slightly distracted as she read an email from
one of the colleges she had requested information from. Hey, She
closed her laptop, turning to face Clarke. Ive been meaning to talk
to you about something.
You sound serious, Clarke gave her a slightly concerned look.
Should I be worried?
No, Lexa shook her head with a small smile, trying to put her at
ease, Its nothing bad, I promise. She tried but her hand went up
to rub her neck uneasily, college.
Right, Clarke replied with a nod, Yeah, we need to talk about
that. She agreed, leaning back against the headboard as Lexa put
the laptop away and settled herself next to her.
Im not the only one who has been looking at places, right? Lexa
asked, pulling the comforter over them. When Clarke shook her
head, Lexa continued, Okay, good. She nodded, thinking about
how to continue. Where do you have in mind? The question was
almost hesitant, Lexa wasnt sure what she was expecting, or what
she wanted Clarke to say.

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I was thinking New York, or maybe even California. Clarke replied

quietly. I just want toput myself out there, live a bit more before
having to settle down for good.
Lexa smiled back at her. Majoring in fine art, right?
Yeah, Clarke nodded again, there seemed to be more nodding that
actual talking between them right now. What about you?
Massachusetts maybe, or New York. She shrugged. Chicago
seems nice. Lexa paused for a moment. Im mostly thinking
Chicago.
And uhh Clarke trailed off, unsure of how to ask what that would
mean for them; how the whole long distance would work out. What
will that mean for us? She asked hesitantly. I mean, being in
different states, the whole distance thing? Because I dont want
either of us to go somewhere we dont want to. No, she didnt want
that. If Lexa ended up going somewhere because of Clarke, Clarke
would feel like she was holding Lexa back and not letting her do
what she wanted. And if Clarke knew Lexa, shed feel the same way
if Clarke ended up going somewhere mostly for Lexa; she didnt
really want something like that hanging over their relationship.
More nodding from Lexa, Yeah She breathed out. I dont want
that either. She agreed. But distance doesnt have to be a bad
thing, Lexa suggested, she wasnt sure whether she was trying to
convince herself or Clarke of that because she had a feeling it
wouldnt be the easiest thing.

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11

I know, Clarke nodded, moving closer to Lexa as Lexas arm went

around her. A bit of space away might even be good. She told her.
Butafter the last year, its not going to be easy.
Lexa let out a small sigh, tilting her head and letting her cheek rest
on the top of Clarkes head. I know. She agreed. I dont want to
be away from you for so long. They both fell silent for a moment,
both of them thinking about what to say next when Lexa spoke, But
you are right, She told Clarke, Being away for a little while might
actually be good for us. Lexa knew Clarke had a point about that,
since the last school year, the two of them have been mostly
inseparable not as much as Raven and Octavia but close so
being away might be good. Itll give them both a chance to grow
without the other and find themselves because, after all, they had
the rest of their lives to be with each other. I mean, its only 4
years, Lexa continued. Youre kind of stuck me for the rest your
life, She shrugged lightly.
Im not stuck with you, Clarke tilted her head up to look at Lexa.
She still said it like Clarke would grow tired of their relationship
eventually or, realize Lexa wasnt good enough for her and resent
their entire relationship. So every time Lexa said anything remotely
like that, Clarke would shoot her down, sometimes it was gentle,
other times it was a stern look it depended on the circumstances
really. And I hate it when you say it like that, Yeah, it was the latter
this time. You are right about the rest of your life part though,
Clarke gave her a small nod, her head going to rest on her shoulder
again as she took Lexas hand in hers. When you think about it like
that, 4 years isnt that long. She felt Lexa nod against her. And its
not like we wont see each other at all, Clarke told her, thinking
about how they would have to plan out breaks so they can see each
other. Well see each other over break; we can meet here or we can
visit each other.

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Yeah, Lexa nodded again, the fingers of her free hand running
along the tattoo on Clarkes arm. Well have to figure that out. And
she was okay with that; a bit of space away would be a good thing,
they were both right about that. But it would be hard; theyd grown
really close over the past year and neither of them could really
imagine going more than a few days without seeing the other. Its
going to be a little weird, She pointed out. Its not just us, its also
Raven and Octavia. Lexa said to Clarke. Were all going to be in
different places.
But Raven might end up being close to one of us, Clarke added.
Shes thinking about MIT or CalTech, so if you end up in
Massachusettsor I end up in California, theres a pretty good
chance shell be close enough.
Yeah, Lexa gave her a small nod. But chances are, were all only
going to see each other over breaks, She turned her head to look
down at Clarke before her eyes moved to Clarkes arm where her
fingers were still trailing along the letters on her skin, It feels weird
just thinking about it.
Itll be different. Clarke agreed. But that doesnt mean it has to
be bad. She turned around slightly before speaking again,
Besides, we still have a few more months together. Clarke raised
her eyebrows slightly, giving Lexa a suggestive look as she moved
to straddle Lexas hips.
Youre right, Lexas hands moved to rest on Clarkes waist, finally
looking up at her, We should probably make the most of it.
Yeah, Clarke nodded, leaning forward and kissing her. I was
thinking, She brought her lips away slightly, just enough to speak,

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We start now. Clarke kissed her again, not giving Lexa a chance to
reply.
Lexas eyes remained close, her voice barely audible as she pulled
away slightly, whispering against Clarkes lips, I like that idea,

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