How to follow God when others dont .

keeping the 5th

Commandment
Honoring Ungodly Parents (webpage)
This pertains to a previous post: 'Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother', so I feel I
should address this question before moving on to my post on divorce.
Apologies for taking longer than intended, I've had some important business to
attend and didn't have time to put together a post.
God's will for us in the fifth commandment is for us to honor, love, and be loyal to
father and mother and all those in authority over us; for us to obey and submit to
them, as is proper, when they correct and punish us; and also for us to be patient
with their failings - for through them God chooses to rule us.
Adolescent rebellion seems like a rite of passage for us. In the Old Testament, it
definitely was not seen that way. There was great pressure on parents and children
to take the fifth commandment seriously. According to Deuteronomy law, if a man
had a stubborn and rebellious son who did not obey his parents, though they
disciplined him, the parents were to bring him before the elders, publicly denounce
their son, and the parents presented him before the men of the city where he would
be stoned to death (Deut. 21:18-21 cf. Ex. 21:17; Lev. 20:9; Prov. 20:20; 30:11).
3000 years later, Calvin explained the harsh punishment with this rationale: Nature
itself ought in a way to teach us this. Those who abusively or stubbornly violate
parental authority are monsters, not men! Hence the Lord commands all those
disobedient to their parents be put to death. For since they do not recognize those
whose efforts brought them into the light of day, they are not worthy of its
benefits.
Kids have always made mistakes, but clearly, Gods people have not always been so
lenient with rank insubordination. Honoring our parentsfather and mother
requires reverence, obedience, and gratefulness. Instead of stubbornness, we
should listen; instead of rebellion, we should submit; instead of complaint, we
should thank.
We are commanded to honor our parents for several reasons.
First, because God has given them a position of honor. They are not tyrants with a
phony claim to power, but stewards of Gods authority.
Youre not the boss of me may be a common childhood cry, but when directed
toward parents it is not biblical.

Second, we obey the fifth commandment as part of our devotion to Jesus. We

honor father and mother in the Lord (Eph. 6:1), following his example and being
transformed by his grace.
Third, we honor father and mother because blessings come to those who do (6:23). The fifth command is the first one with a promise. This promise is not a
guarantee of success, but a general assurance children are better off when they
listen to their parents.
Obedience has its limits. Authority can be abused and parents can make
atrocious commands. If our earthly parents arent leading us in the direction of our
heavenly Father, they cease to be true parents.
Acts 5:29 teaches us we should obey God rather than men. Clearly if your
parents command of you what God forbids or they forbid what God
commands, you cannot and must not obey your parents (the first table
takes precedence over the second). But even in these cases, we can still
be respectful of our parents and honor them, even if it would be wrong to
obey them.
This raises the question of how grown (or almost grown children) should relate to
their parents. Certainly, a lifelong respect and patience for our parents is in order,
even yielding wherever possible.
There is some point where parents should not expect the same obedience from their
grown children as they did when they were young. Whether this happens during the
college years, at financial independence, or at their wedding is open to negotiation
based on culture and family situation. At the very least, the biblical injunction
to leave and cleave strongly suggests some kind of change in the parentchild relationship at marriage. A new household is formed, one under a new
headship and new authority.
While parental authority is not absolute, our problem in modern culture is not kneejerk obedience to parents but a lack of respect for parents and our elders in
general. We consider it a given for teenagers to rebel. They do sometimes. But
lets not assume it must happen or it is good when it does.
Independence, learning to think for oneself, trying and failing sometimes
these are steps toward adulthood. But stubbornness, rebellion, and
disobedience are not good. Its not the right of teenagers to break the fifth
commandment, no matter what friends or hormones tell us.
Never before, has our culture allowed for and even encouraged youthful

immaturity. Kids are coddled and their preferences catered to, in the home and
certainly in the society at large. Contrary to feminist fears, most households are
less patriarchy and more kindergarchy.
With the reign of youth-ism, comes a disrespect for older generations.
Instead of thinking this person is older and probably has something to teach me I
dont know yet we figure this person is old and out of date and funny looking and
weak and is best ignored.
Older folks deserve better, especially Mom and Dad. Even into old age we must
honor our parents. We should visit them, listen to their advice, and see they are
well cared for later in life. Honor for parents has no statute of limitations.
We see clearly from the rest of Scripture we should honor those to whom honor is
due: slaves to masters (Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling,
with a sincere heart, as you would Christ [Eph. 6:5]); wives to husbands (Wives,
submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord [Eph. 5:22]); the church to its leaders
(Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your
souls, as those who will have to give an account [Heb. 13:7]); younger men to
older men (Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders [1 Peter 5:5]);
and all of us to the governing authorities (Rom. 13:1ff.)
As much as it grates against our spirit, Scripture commands us to be
submissive to rulers and authorities, be obedient, ready for every good
work (Titus 3:1). No matter which party is in power, the command is the same:
fear God; honor the king (1 Peter 2:17). Unfortunately, civil political discourse are
three words that dont go together in the 21st century. Nevertheless, we must
remember our standard for honoring those in authority is higher than what we hear
from Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore.
Scripture is full of examples of divinely frowned upon disrespect. David was cursed
by Nabal (1 Sam. 25:10) and Shimei (2 Sam. 16:7). To them, David was a rogue or
bum. And yet these are the words some of us use to describe our leaders all the
time! We would do better to be like David toward Saul, who dared not lay a hand on
Gods anointed, though the king was a cowardly rascal. In a democracy we have
freedom of speech and assembly and part of how we respect the governing
authorities is by trying to change the governing authorities. There is nothing wrong
with strong disagreement and working for change. But we must always honor
those over us, with our prayers and our respect.
I doubt many of us regularly feel convicted by the fifth commandment. When we
are kids we dont think of obedience to our parents as a spiritual issue. And when
we are older and know better, were out of the house and only see them at holidays
or for babysitting. So its easy to think this is one commandment weve got pretty

much nailed down.

But how are we really doing?
Do we joyfully submit to parents, husbands, and the rule of law?
Are we patient with pastors and senators and middle managers?
Do we give glad respect to denominational executives, committee chairs, and
department heads?
Do we take care of our aging parents without grumbling and complaining?
Do we ever consider their feelings and desires above our own when making plans
for the holidays?
Would we be happy if our children treated us like we treat our parents?
Jesus was subject to his father and mother (Luke 2:51) when they were
imperfect and he was perfect. So surely we can be subject to imperfection
too and honor those granted by God to have authority over us.

http://liberatedthroughsubmission.xanga.com/695484953/honoring-ungodlyparents/

The Fifth Commandment - Honor your dad

and mom
In this Teen Bible Study Guide, we will discover how God
expects us to act towards our parents.
Introduction
"Mom is so demanding! She always tells me to clean my room, to wash dinner dishes, and to do
my homework," Kristen exclaimed to her friends around the lunch table. "Yeah, my dad makes
me cut the lawn while he watches football," Dan added. "Parents are such slave-drivers!" Kristen
nodded in agreement. Both then turned their attention to the silent girl next to them. "Dont your
parents drive you crazy too, Janet?" Kristen rhetorically asked the silent girl. Janet remembered
instances where her parents were 'driving her crazy,' but for some reason she didnt reply right
away.

1. How common is such a conversation? Have you ever heard your friends talking about their
parents like Kristen and Dan? Do they usually say good things or bad things?
2. How does what we say about others show how we feel about them?
In this issue well discover how God expects us to act towards our parents.

The Fifth Commandment

EXODUS 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land
which the Lord your God is giving you."
DEUTERONOMY 5:16 "Honor your Father and mother as the Lord your God commanded you,
that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God is giving you."
1. Name a blessing God gives those who honor their parents? (HINT: Read Deuteronomy 5:16
again!) What other blessings can you think of?
2. What does it mean to honor someone?
3. How does respect relate to honor?
4. How does making good decisions show honor to parents? Consider Proverbs 10:1
.
5. Would you show your parents more honor by following Gods way or a worldly way?
6. Is loving our parents included in this fifth commandment?
7. As do all of the Ten Commandments, this commandment applies throughout life. List ways
adults honor their parents.
8. Explain the common practice to which Jesus applied the 5th commandment in Mark 7:9-13.
Would you have thought the 5th commandment applied to that situation?
9. How does the 5th commandment apply to Christ's words and example in John 19:26-27?
10. Do you think children of parents who are not honorable are freed from obeying this
commandment? Why or why not?

Obeying Parents
II TIMOTHY 3:2 "For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud,
blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful and unholy."

1. Why does God think its serious when we dont obey our parents?
2. Can you give examples of movies or TV shows in which children are disobedient to their
parents? Do you think children imitate the example set by children in these movies or TV shows?
3. What does God say about talking badly about our parents? Is it a light thing in His eyes? Read
Matthew 15:4
and answer. Why do you think the penalty is so severe?
EPHESIANS 6:1-4 Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father
and mother which is the first commandment with promise. That it may be well with you and that
you may live long on the earth. And you, fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring
them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
4. Clearly God wants us to obey our parents, but what limits does God put on our obedience?
COMMENT: We should follow our parents as they follow God.
5. How should we respond if they tell us to do something contrary to God's Law?
6. How should parents teach their children? (HINT: look again at Ephesians)
7. How can a parent cultivate honor in his children?
8. When you become a parent, how will you teach the 5th commandment to your children?

Our Spiritual Father

MALACHI 2:10 Do we not all have one Father? Has not one created us?
EPHESIANS 4:6 One God and one Father of all, who is above all, and through all and in you
all.
1. Since God is our spiritual Father, doesn't this commandment also apply to our relationship
with Him? List some ways we honor God?
NOTE: You may want to consider Matthew 5:16
.
I SAMUEL 2:30 "... for those who honor Me, I will honor, and those who despise me I will
lightly esteem."
HEBREWS 2:7 "You made him [man] a little lower than the angels; you crowned him with glory
and honor."

2. How does the fact that God gives us honor make you feel? How does it make you want to
respond to God?

Summary
1. How are the ways we honor our physical parents and the way we honor our spiritual Father
similar?
2. How are they different? (HINT: God is perfect.)
3. What could Janet reply to her friends and still keep the Fifth commandment?
4. Is this commandment difficult to keep?
5. What changes in society do you think would occur if everyone obeyed the 5th commandment?

http://www.ucg.org/teen-bible-study/teen-bible-study-volume-3-ten-commandments/fifthcommandment-honor-your-dad-and-mom/

Elders
Authority #2
If you want the full benefits of living under the umbrella of Gods blessing,
power, guidance, provision and protection then you need to remain under the
umbrella of authority that God has set over you.
When you remove yourself from authority God has placed over you also
remove yourself from His umbrella of spiritual protection.
It doesnt even matter whether the person in authority over you is a godly or
ungodly person.
Your submission to that authority keeps you under Gods umbrella of
protection and your rejection or rebellion against that authority removes you
from that umbrella of protection.
Your spiritual protection is determined more by the way you honor those in
authority over you than by the way they behave.
A man who clearly understood this concept of authority and protection was
David.

After Saul rebelled against the word of the Lord and became an ungodly king,
and after David was anointed by Samuel to be Sauls successor, and after Saul
noticed that the favor of both God and the people rested on David Saul
became jealous and attempted to hunt David down for the purpose of killing him
and David became a hunted man for a long time.
On two separate occasions, David was able to sneak up on Saul at night in a
cave or in their camp -- and Sauls life was in Davids hands.
But even though Saul was an ungodly king who was trying to kill David
David refused to kill Saul when he had the opportunity. Why?
The LORD forbid that I should lift my hand against my master, for he is the
anointed of the LORD (I Sam. 26:8).
Abishai said to David, Today God has delivered your enemy into your hands.
Now let me pin him to the ground with one thrust of my spear; I wont strike
him twice. (9)
But David said to Abishai, Dont destroy him! Who can lay a hand on the
LORDS anointed and be guiltless? (10)
As surely as the LORD lives, the LORD himself will strike him; either his time
will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish. (11)
But the LORD forbid that I should lay a hand on the LORDS anointed.
David knew better than to take matters into his own hands.
Saul was the Lords anointed the Lords chosen ruler let God deal with him.
David trusted the Lord to protect him from Saul and to bring judgment upon
Saul in the Lords own way and in the Lords own timing.
It is not the right or responsibility of those under authority to execute
judgment on those over them in authority.
And then do you remember when God did take care of Saul, and Saul was
wounded in battle and then ended his own life and a messenger ran to David
telling him the news claiming credit for killing Saul himself.
Do you remember Davids response? In II Samuel 1:14 David asked him,
Why were you not afraid to lift your hand to destroy the LORDS anointed?
Then David called one of his men and said, Go, strike him down! So he
struck him down, and he died.
For David had said to him, Your blood be on your own head. Your own mouth
testified against you when you said, I killed the LORDS anointed.
Why were you not afraid to lift your hand against the Lords anointed?

 Have I ever done that?

Have I ever attacked either physically or verbally someone chosen by God
to exercise authority over me? Someone chosen by God to be my spiritual
leader?
Why was I not afraid to lift my hand or curse or speak evil against the
Lords anointed?
Do I not fear the Lord as David did?
God used Sauls persecution of David to achieve His character purposes in
David.
Because David trusted God and did not rebel against the Lords anointed
Gods power and authority and blessing and protection flowed freely into Davids
life.
Gods purposes are not restricted to working only through godly authorities.
As long as we are submissive to Gods authority God can accomplish His
purposes in our lives even through ungodly people in authority over us.
-- We demonstrate that we believe in and accept the sovereignty of God when
we accept whatever authority He has set over us.
-- I believe that one of the reasons God entrusted such great power and
authority to David as King was because he had earlier demonstrated a
submissive spirit when he was under Sauls authority.
-- We can never be over those things God has put under us until we are under
those things God has put over us.
-- God gives His Kingdom authority to His children who have a spirit of
submission to God and to the authorities He has placed over us.
II. HONORING FATHER AND MOTHER.
Though there are other exhortations to parents as to their responsibilities in
carrying out their authority as parents in a godly way -- that is not the thrust of
the 5th commandment.
-- This commandment has nothing to do with parenting skills.
-- This commandment has everything to do with our responsibility before God to
honor the parents He has placed in authority over us.
And there are no conditions, loopholes or exceptions.
The 5th commandment does NOT say:
-- Honor your father and mother if you think they are deserving of honor.

-- Honor your father and mother if they reciprocate by meeting your needs in
accordance with your expectations.
-- Honor your father and mother when it is pleasing to you to do so.
-- Honor your father and mother when they express appreciation to you for
doing so.
-- Honor your father and mother if they are godly parents who set a godly
example.
-- Honor your father and mother when it "feels right."
-- Honor your father and mother if they let you have your own way and do
whatever your friends are allowed to do.
-- Honor your father and mother if their demands and expectations of you are
reasonable in your estimation.
-- Honor your father and mother if you agree with their rules.
-- Honor your father and mother if they get a passing grade of being good
parents in your judgment.
-- Honor your father and mother if others in your family also do so.
The commandment simply says: Honor your father and your mother. Period.
Just do it.
Yet notice also that the operative word is honor it is not love or hold in high
regard or even respect.
-- The word chosen is honor.
-- Honor is not an emotion or feeling honor is a behavioral word.
-- We are commanded to behave in a certain way toward them that reflects
their status and God-given authority as parents whatever their personal
character traits or parenting skills and whatever our opinions and emotions
about them.
-- The fact is, not all parents are worthy of being held in high regard as to their
character or godliness or faith or morality or parenting skills.
-- But all parents are to be honored by those under their God-given authority.
Does God hold accountable those in authority for the way they exercise their
authority? Of course! But thats not the point here.
In the third article well talk about what the point is.

http://www.christ4today.com/news2.asp?news_id=134

Adult Children of Alcoholics: Honoring our

Parents?
God requires children to honor their parents. Adult children of alcoholics wrestle with this
concept. Can we ever find a way to honor our parents?
Posted by Linda DuToit | Last updated: Mar 25, 2013

Honoring dysfunctional parents is not easy, and may only be possible with God's
strength.

God calls everyone to honor their parents. For Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA), this will be
a difficult concept to consider. Is it even possible? I encourage you to keep reading, and see if
this notion of honor might serve you well. Gods fifth commandment is, Honor Your Father
and Mother. What does this mean to adult children of alcoholics? This is a tough one, so lets
hash it out.
Here are some definitions of honor:
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being respectful in word and action and having an inward attitude of esteem for
someones position;

a showing of usually-merited respect; and

high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank.

These are all painful definitions for children of parents who have been abusive, dysfunctional
and have seriously impacted others' lives. Please notice that to honor does not mean to love,
adore, cater to, accept lousy treatment from, etc.
What Else Does God Say About Honoring Parents?

I came across this quote on the Christian website, GotQuestions.org: children of all ages
should honor their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents deserve honor. Certainly
whoever wrote that is not an ACoA, or are they? This is difficult to digest (please pass the Pepto
Bismol). Lets continue please hang in there!
In the New Testament, Ephesians 6:1-3 states: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this
is right. Honor your father and mother so that it may be well with you, and that you may live
long on the earth. Now theres some incentive, for this is the only commandment in Scripture
that promises long life as a reward. This scripture tells us that honoring them is for our benefit,
not necessarily for their benefit.
Clearly, our relationship with our parents is a big deal to God. God provides instructions for both
parents and children. Many of us realize that our parents arent holding up their end of the deal
if they arent acting as godly parents, so why should we obey this commandment? For a
Christian, the answer is easy: Because God says so, and it should always be our desire to please
God. So how do we, as ACoAs, do this? How do we come to terms with this?
What Honor is Not
Honoring dysfunctional parents is not necessarily:

Doing whatever they ask;

Condoning their behavior;

Enabling their destructive behavior;

Enduring their abuse;

Sacrificing your life and potential;

Listening to condemning words, guilt trips or insults; and

Loving them.

Parents might instruct their kids to do things that clearly contradict what God commands. We
must obey God above all else. Gods Will, His Word and His commands trump any ungodly
thing our parents might want, demand or do. I feel that honoring our parents means doing what is
best for them. It is doing for them what God wants for them. We should treat our parents as God
would want us to.
How Can This Apply to Our Situation?
How do I apply this in my situation? Well, a while ago I realized that my parents dont know any
better (this may or may not be the same for you). Our parents are caught up in their own

problems and probably havent got a clue what they did or are doing. You may someday reach
the point where this stirs compassion. But dont get me wrong it doesnt mean that all is
forgotten. No way! While I dont rub my parents noses in guilt, I dont let them off the hook
either. Sweeping stuff under the rug doesnt help anyone.
For example, my mother often says, I know I used to drink too much. Then she starts a pity
party. I will never tell my mother that her drinking was okay, because it was not okay. Her
drinking, and dads, had serious ramifications for our entire family. But I dont let her beat
herself up either. God wouldnt want me to get satisfaction from her wallowing in regret. I often
feel she wants me to tell her that it was ok, that she didnt do any harm. That would be a lie, and
God doesnt want that either.
To honor my own mother, I confirm that she did drink way too much, and that it was an awful
time of life (my mother is now in her 70s). But I remind her that we cant change the past, that
we can only move forward, and that its up to each of us individually to deal with the past in our
own way, take ownership of it all, and work to make the very best of ourselves.
Only by Gods grace can I feel this way today, because I was inwardly hateful toward her and my
father for a long time. Honoring parents is not easy, and it is definitely not possible by our own
strength. We need the supernatural strength and love of God. Now lets look at the nitty-gritty
practicality of it all.
Practical Ways to Honor Dysfunctional Parents

It may help to view them as ill or sick. We can legitimately do this because society
has labeled alcoholism as a disease.

Show compassion. They are held captive by alcohol, which probably means they are also
held captive by something very deep, and very painful. This doesnt mean we accept their
behavior it means we look at it differently.

Help them in good ways I help my parents simply because they are my parents and
because Gods wants that of me. I think of them as neighbors. What would I do for my
neighbor?

Treat them as you would like to be treated God says, Love your neighbor as yourself.
Luke 6:31 tells us, Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Dont be a party to their destructive behavior.

Talk about your past and your parents only when it is for the godly good of yourself or
others.

On your journey to recovery, honor is about growing up, maturing, regaining control of life,
leaning on God, and letting go of the past. Forgiveness is a big part of it too, but we have to

make the first move and rise above the past. We owe it to ourselves and to God. Pleasing God
will bring us far more blessing and happiness than holding on to resentment or treating our
parents badly.
If You Are Not Ready to Honor Your Parents
If you are still residing with dysfunctional parents or other family members, I understand that
honoring them will be nearly impossible until you are able to distance yourself from the situation
and gain a different perspective. You may not be ready for this. But its something to tuck away
in the back of your mind, and something to strive for as you travel the path to full recovery.
If you are able, work on this for yourself do it for you, not necessarily for them. It takes being
the bigger person to truly honor people that deserve no honor at all. By definition,
dysfunctional people are abnormal or impaired in some way. Make the conscious effort to see
their behavior as a symptom, rather than a personal attack. We are children of God, each blessed
with incredible potential. With Gods help, going forward we can make some things right, and
experience full recovery.
Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, a doctor, or any type of medical professional. I am by no
means an expert. I am an adult child of alcoholics whose hearts desire is for all ACoAs to break
the bonds of their childhood and live the life God intended. If you are experiencing serious
emotional pain or behavioral issues, please also seek help from a professional counselor or
psychologist, or seek out an ACA support group. You owe it to yourself.
Sources

What does it mean to honor my mother and father? Got Question?.org, accessed April
6, 2011.

Daryl Quick, The Healing Journey for Adult Children of Alcoholics (Illinois: InterVarsity
Press, 1990).

Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden, Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of
Alcoholics (New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc., 1985).

Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., The Complete ACOA Sourcebook, (Deerfield Beach, FL:
Health Communications, Inc., 2002).

Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, Adult Children of Alcoholics

(aka, The Big Red Book), 2006.

http://suite101.com/article/adult-children-of-alcoholics--honoring-our-parentsa365260
Ungodly Soul Ties & the Measures Needed to Walk in Wholeness
By Gary Tillotson

When we look at the subject of ungodly soul ties we have to remind ourselves of a
few pointers that are important.
1. Not all soul ties are ungodly; God created us as a relational being, and intended
us to relate to one another. e.g. ( 1 Samuel 18:1 Jonathan & David )
2. It is good for us to have relationships that are spirit to spirit as long as they are in
the will of God.
The best place to look at the subject of soul ties is the word of God, by looking in
the word we can see how ungodly soul ties can effect us.
One of the most striking things Jesus said is in the book of Luke:
Lu 14:26 (WEB) "If anyone comes to me, and doesnt hate his own father, mother,
wife, children, brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cant be my
disciple.
What Jesus was saying here can teach us a big lesson in the subject of soul ties.
1. Jesus was not saying we are to hate our parents, as this would be contary to the
fifth commandment.
2. Jesus was saying we are to love them less in comparison to him.
The call of God on our life should not be interfered with by the relationships we hold
in this life, Gods call should always be first, and if we are influenced by His Spirit in
our life we will begin to fulfil the call of God on our life.
Ungodly soul ties can and will effect the call of God on our life, and what we
determine as a Godly soul tie, as in with a spouse for example, can effect us in a
ungodly way as well. Such as their desire for the course that our life should take;
taking precedence over what God has called us to be and to do.
When we put Jesus first above all even our own life, as in the desire for self, we
then will find out what is ungodly in our life, and consequently we shall experience
the Godly relationships God wants us to experience and enjoy.
We can look at a particular character in the Old Testament whose call was effected
by a soul tie. We can also learn some important lessons from his walk and learn how
we can be taken off course in our own walk. His name was Samson.
Samsons mother was barren before he was born, the Angel of the Lord visited her
and told her that she was going to give birth to a son: Jg 13:4 (WEB) Now therefore
please beware and drink no wine nor strong drink, and dont eat any unclean thing:

5 for, behold, you shall conceive, and bear a son; and no razor shall come on his
head; for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb: and he shall begin to
save Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.
So Samson was consecrated to God to be a Nazirite.
God had a vision for his life to save Israel.
God had a purpose for Samson and if you read the whole story in Judges chapter 13
to 16, you will find that his desire for women effected him in a way that took him of
the course God had for him. He desired the philistine women more then his own. He
gave into his desires and that undermined Gods plan for him he had a moral
weakness in this area.
Jg 16:4 (WEB) It came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of
Sorek, whose name was Delilah.
Its interesting to note the word love in the above scripture is the same Hebrew
word referring to the love Jonathan had for David: Ahab ahab aw-hab
or raheb {aw-habe}; a primitive root; to have affection for (sexually or otherwise):
--(be-)love(-d, -ly, -r), like, friend.
Samsons physical strength enabled him to do exploits, but his moral weakness led
him into relationships that were ungodly especially with Delilah, he had a soul tie
with her, because of the love he had for her. This is what happened to him.
1. Loss of control
Jg 16:19 (WEB) She made him sleep on her knees; and she called for a man, and
shaved off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his
strength went from him.
Something weaker than him was controlling him.
He took a detour in his walk with God and he was overpowered.
He put his trust and security in someone else.
He had become a slave to sin through the soul tie he had with Delilah.
What can we learn from this?
Whos the main influence in our life?
Jesus should take precedence in all our relationships.
2. Loss of vision
Jg 16:21 (WEB) The Philistines laid hold on him, and put out his eyes; and they
brought him down to Gaza, and bound him with fetters of brass; and he did grind in
the prison-house.
Without vision the people perish, the Lord had departed from Samson and not only
had he lost his vision in the physical, but he had lost it for his life also.

 He lost his direction.

He could go nowhere.
His strength had gone.
What can we learn from this?
We need to walk in the vision God has for our life.
For our relationships.
We have to claim our destiny God has for us.
3. Loss of position
The Bible says in chapter 16:21 that they brought him down to Gaza, not only did
they bring him down he had Spiritually brought him self-down.
He was no longer in the plan God had for him.
His sin led him to have an ungodly soul tie, and sin was his master.
He had violated the Nazirite vow and the Lord departed from him.
What can we learn from this?
Avoid anything or anyone that brings us into sin.
We have to forgive those that have hurt us or taken us out of the will of God.
We have to cut any of the above loose.
We should let nothing separate us from Gods purpose for our life.
4. Loss of mobility
He was spiritually bound before he was bound with fetters, he had lost his
mobility.
He lost his spiritual freedom.
What can we learn from this?
When we cant pray or worship God that is when we lose our spiritual mobility.
We can lose our mobility in our godly relationships when we walk out of the will of
God.
We have to address the relationship or situation that we are in and regain the
vision God has for us.
5. Loss of status
He was in prison.
The detour from Gods purpose he took, caused him to end up were God didnt
want him to be.
What can we learn from this?
What we do today can effect were we end up tomorrow.
We should not blame our circumstances.
We should seek God on where he wants us to be.

6. Way forward
Samson had lost everything.
He was alone.
He prayed to the lord to remember him and strengthen him.
The Lord had mercy on him and restored him and his hair grew back.
He regained his anointing and strength and defeated the Philistines.
What can we learn from this?
The road to spiritual wholeness starts with prayer and repentance.
Restoration from sin can take time as the circumstances of the choices we have
made may require
a lot of prayer.
When you are looking at physical pain that arises out of emotional wounding, that
comes through relationships, that produces a life style that imparts a belief system
that effects the way we think, feel and behave. We are unable to change just like
that; we have to look at coping mechanism, how we have coped with the pain. We
have to look at the substitutes we have put in place, we have to examine the
choices we have made, and in those areas restoration and healing are to be
understood as a process. However some people have come through that process
and are restored and healed.
We have to learn to wait upon the Lord.
We have seen how an ungodly relationship affected Samson, it ultimately destroyed
him. But he also regained Gods favour for his life.
Under the new covenant we are blessed because the blood of Christ cleanses us
from all sin, and that includes all manner of spiritual ties. But just as we have
learned
the associations we keep with people can effect Gods plan for our life we should
always prayerfully seek whom the Lord and what the Lord wants for our life.
To walk in wholeness is impossible with out the Lords guidance Mt 5:6 (KJV) Blessed
are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. We
need to hunger and thirst for a right standing in God.
We hear of people training their body i.e. going to the gym, walking etc.
And when you do it for the first time it hurts, you use muscles you thought you
never had. Its good to exercise Paul told Timothy it was of profit but what else did
he say?
1 Tim 4:8 (AMP) For physical training is of some value useful for a little, but
godliness spiritual training is useful and of value in every thing and in every way, for
it holds promise for the present life and also for the life which is to come.

For bodily exercise is of some value. The Greeks gave great attention to bodily
training. At Ephesus, where Timothy was, he could still see the remains of the
stadium where the athletes displayed their skill. We need to display the same
diligence in training for godliness. For the bodily exercise profits little, while the
godly training is profitable in all things. It makes you happier, more prosperous, and
healthier, and in addition it prepares you for the life to come.
Our spirits need to be trained also, and can be educated just as our minds are, and
be built up just like our body when we exercise.
But when we go into new things its hard just like physical training, and in some
instances even harder because we have to humble the flesh and quiet the soul.
Here are six rules in which the human spirit can be trained and developed.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

By
By
By
By
By
By

meditating in the word

practising the word
giving the word first place
obeying the voice of your spirit
praying in tongues
communicating with God in two way prayer

And after a while just like physical training you will begin to see results, but you
wont see anything until you go to the spiritual gym and keep going!
Because its through our spirit God communicates with us, not through our reasoning
or flesh.
Pr 20:27 The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts
of the belly. (All the inward depths of his heart)
AMP: The spirit of man that factor in human personality, which proceeds
immediately from God, is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the innermost parts.
By this we know the Lord will enlighten us and guide us.
And our spirit will commune and be made alive with Gods Spirit.
Joh 14:16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that
he may abide with you for ever;17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot
receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he
dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. Gary Tillotson
http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/ungodly-soul-ties-gary-tillotson-sermon-onfriendship-new-friends-89482.asp