The Best TG Mag just keeps on getting better!

ISSUE 9 AUG 2006

C O N T R I B U T I N G

W R I T E R S

- US based writer, Author of “Across Golden Pond” an ex-pats view of life in the States!

Lisa-Gayle

Leigh Smythe – US based writer, Author of
“It’s Agony” – Her view on life!
http://profiles.urnotalone.com/46558 http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseactio nfiltered=user.viewprofile&friendid=66998257 http://whisperleighsmythe.blogspot.com/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/whisper_leigh_sm ythe/

Heather – US based writer, Author of “ A Spell
with Heather” & “ Victorian Times”. Our very own Wiccan Witch sharing her knowledge and enlightenment
http://360.yahoo.com/heathergoddess2003 http://HeathersWorldofEnchantment.bravehost. com

Lori-Anne – US based writer, Author of “Lori’s
Film Review”. Deserving of an Oscar herself!!
http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile.html;_ylt=AsYvg X5afB4.IXcz77854s6lAOJ3 http://profiles.urnotalone.com/Lorianne1357.

Bert – UK based writer, Author of various articles
dealing with Transgender Issues, and also has been known to pen the occasional Naughty story & designer of this page too !!

Tiana – US based prolific writer, Author of
http://360.yahoo.com/sexy_tvgirl http://profiles.urnotalone.com/princess http://tianalockheart.moonfruit.com

lifestyle articles, a ray of sunshine!!!

1..Front Page 2..NEW!Contents/Rogues Gallery 3.. ,, 4..I Think, therefore, I BLOG 5.. ,, 6.. ,, 7..Knowing me, Knowing you. 8.. ,, 9.. ,, 10.. ,, 11.. ,, 12.. ,, 13.. ,, 14..Poll’s Apart 15.. ,, 16..Lori’s Film Review 17.. ,, 18.. ,, 19..Left-handed Day 20.. ,, 21.. ,, 22..Gypsy Blood(Fashion Review) 23.. ,, 24.. ,, 25..LBD Winner 26. How Many Candles? 27..Hitchcock Biography 28.. ,, Films 29.. ,, ,, 30.. ,, On…. 31.. ,, Trivia 32..Short Story 33.. ,,. 34..Stockings & Suspenders Comp 35.. ,,

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GUEST

WRITERS

Jenny –Anne – UK based writer, This month’s
Interviewee. A Champion in the TG cause!!

Wilhelmina – A Hungarian TG, writing about
life in Budapest.

GOPHER’S

Tammi – UK Based American partner in crime –
Compiler of “Tammi’s Torments” the fiendish Narcisse Quiz!!

Oh Yeah! & me. Editor, bottle-washer & all-round Skivy

Fancy writing for Narcisse? E-mail me at:Mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk
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36..Stockings & Suspenders Comp 37..Light’s, Camera, Stockings? 38.. ,, 39.. ,, 40..Life in Budapest 41..Centrefold 42.. ,, 43.. ,, 44..Health & Beauty 45.. ,, 46..Tammi’s Torments(Quiz) 47.. ,, 48..A Spell With Heather 49.. ,, 50..NEW!!Summer Days (Article) 51.. ,, 52..Shopping Addiction (Article) 53.. ,, 54..Leigh Smythe – It’s Agony! 55.. ,, 56.. ,, 57..Across Golden Pond (Article) 58.. ,, 59..NEW!!Victorian Times 60..Short Story 61.. ,, 62..Quiz Answers 63..NEW!! Conversion Tables 64.. ,, 65..Adverts 66.. ,, 67.. ,, 68..And now, the end is near 69.. ,, 70..Coming Next Month

I think, therefore, I

BLOG

OK, hands up who believes in fate? One…..two….yes, well, a few of you at least, admittedly there will be one or two of you who think that I am talking absolute flap-doodle, but…….what?..... yes….that’s right……..FLAP-DOODLe. What do you mean what’s flap-doodle? Well there’s my point you see, fate or total randomness? You see, as many of you know, on these hallowed pages, I have, on occasion …..Talked utter drivel, NO!...NO!!! It’s true! But this time I seem to have proved myself, right….ish. You see, I didn’t have a clue (OI!! What do you mean – does she ever? Grrr) what to write about, so I had this fab idea of letting fate decide. Therefore, with utter disregard for my own safety, and without the aid of a net, I unleashed Google and typed in “Random Words”. And what nugget of fortune did it come up with? Yup…..FLAP-DOODLE!!! Definition – Foolish talk/nonsense! Of all the multitude of words that could have issued forth, fate chose an apt description of what I usually write anyway! Now then, is this fate…….or…..well, what? How many of you have felt that things are “meant” to be? How many of you have been adamant that bad luck comes in three’s? I know I have , so surely this must mean that luck is predetermined?! Therefore, are luck and fate one and the same? And if they are, and therefore, in some way, predetermined, predetermined by what? Or who? Hmmmmmmm

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Also, if they are decided by some “force”, then can that force be altered? You see, much can be said for positive thinking; a happy outlook on life tends to bring better luck, or does it? Do we still have the same luck, but, because of a cheerful outlook, we tend to overlook the bad? This theory can, though, be somewhat bore out, how many cases have we seen of people diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses, beating the odds, purely because they did not ‘give up’? From here we can of course take the massive leap to religion as being the biggest case of power of the mind of all, but lets leave that to greater minds than mine huh?! Think back though. How many times in your life can you say that ‘fate’ has leant a hand? For me I think the biggest has to be how I met my wife. On the Firm that I worked on there were only two apprentices, me and one other. This particular day, the other guy hurt his ankle, so I was sent in his place, only for 2 days, in those two days I struck up an accord with the care-taker there. Seems he was just back off his Hols, and decided to show me the snaps. In one of them was a very pretty blonde girl. “Who’s that?” I asked, “ My youngest daughter” said he, “ She going out with anyone?” says I, “ No” came the reply, and the rest, as they say, is history!!! 18 BLOODY YEARS!!! But I digress! Hehehehe Another, more sinister one, comes to mind as I speak. I was about 14/15 at the time, visiting my Grand-parents. Having rung the bell I stepped back and glanced into the street, just in time to see a car fly past, closely followed by a motor-bike. All of a sudden there was an almighty crash, I rushed out to see the bike underneath the rear of the car, the biker screaming his head off, it was then that I realised it was my brother! Passersby quickly made the bike safe and an ambulance arrived. I elected
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to go with him to hospital. To cut a long story short, he was fine, broken toes and ego was all, the strange thing happened AFTER we left for the hospital. Minutes after the ambulance had gone, a passer-by, who had no knowledge of the accident AT ALL, dropped down dead of a heart attack on the EXACT spot! It seems to me that someone was meant to die on that spot that day after all…….. Point in case #3 involves my dear old Dad. Back in the hey-day of bombings in London, my Dad and his mates were working in the “square mile”. He, like me, used to be an electrician. All the electricity was about to be switched off, so they all decided to grab a quick cup of tea before-hand. As they turned the corner they were all blown off their feet by the huge bomb-blast that devastated the Banking quarter that day. They were all, thankfully, unhurt, but, where they SHOULD have been was destroyed and, but for a timely cup of tea, would have taken all 8 of their lives with it, FATE? Who knows? It’s a funny old world isn’t it? How many of us would have chosen to be who we are and what we are? I wouldn’t change a thing, but who knows what fate has to offer? Be lucky!

Hugs

Mandy xxxxx

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“ Knowing me, Knowing you “
INTERVIEW
This month it is my absolute pleasure to bring you the beautiful, loving and absolutely charming Ms, Jenny-Anne
My Age is 60, I was born in 1946 in Carshalton, Surrey. Location (Past and Present)
I’m currently living in Northwich, Cheshire, midway between Manchester & Chester, I’ve lived here for the last 12 years, & moved here because housing was very low-cost in this area, there is some very nice countryside, two rivers and a canal and lots of industrial archaeology to explore, including the Anderton Boat Lift between the river Weaver and the Trent & Mersey Canal. Also several of my TG friends and my previous girlfriend lived in the area. I was born in Carshalton, Surrey, and in order have lived in Mitcham (3 years), Coulsdon, Surrey (9 Years), Sevenoaks, Kent (8 Years) Uxbridge, Middx (2 Years) Chertsey, Surrey ( 6 months) , Camberley, Surrey ( 4 Years), Crewe Cheshire ( 6 years), Tamworth & Rugeley ( 4 Years), Basingstoke ( 3years) ,Hemel Hempstead ( 9 years) Although I’ve lived a lot in the South East I prefer the North West and North Wales, and have in general found the NW more tolerant to Trans-People.

At what age did you realise that you were transgendered?
From the age of 3-4 I always wanted to be a girl, and would always play with the girls and dress female whenever I could. I guess it was at University in London in the mid sixties that I started to understand better about being Transgendered, but the term was not in use then. I guess I wasn’t sure whether I was TV or TS at that time.

Did you act upon these feelings at all?
I’ve been dressing as long as I can remember, and came out to my wife in the first year of my marriage. Initially she was supportive, and I had my first outing as Jenny-Anne in 1971. I’ve been in various help and support groups ever since and have been to many TG events in the last 34-35 years. Also I’ve been Jenny-Anne in France and South Africa, met the Lady Boys in Thailand and the UK, and visited the She-Males in Rome and Rio de Janeiro. I was eventually diagnosed TS in 1980 by the infamous Dr. John Randall, but have only been openly TS for about 7-8 years due to family and work pressure.

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Who was the first person to know/find out about you and how was their reaction?
I told my Wife, who initially was very supportive and helped me to learn how to be a woman properly. She initially taught me about developing a female style, how to do my make-up and my hair/wigs effectively, and how to behave as a woman.I think she thought it was a big game we were playing and eventually we’d move on to something else! When she found out it wasn’t just a phase, it made her very depressed and nearly wreaked our marriage, but we were married for 31 years before getting divorced for other reasons. We survived by my having specific times to be Jenny-Anne and being male all the rest of the time for her.

Presumably your family know, what was their reaction, and has it changed over time?
My whole family know now, because in 1979 my wife told everyone in both our families. My parents were against it and sent me to see John Randall, who decided I was probably TS, this made them even more against it, and they refused to even discuss it again. Neither of my parents ever met the female me. My Children also know but don’t want to meet me, and that’s why I still have to occasionally be the other way to meet them.

Has your TG ’ism interfered with work at all?
Yes, I was outed several times at work, and as a result I’ve been made redundant three times now, and lost promotion several times. It means I have lost a lot of my occupational pension, and I have only a small terraced house, as my wife got the family home when we were divorced.On the other hand I work in Sales and travel extensively which gives me opportunities to meet other Trans people and to buy clothes for Jenny-Anne from all around the world.

Your faith is very important to you, if called upon, could you choose between God and living the life you do?
I believe that God created me the way I am, although it took me nearly 50 years to come to terms with this. Now I believe I can serve God better as Jenny-Anne because I’m truly being myself and helping others to be true to themselves as well. I go to an LBGT church (MCC) which is completely accepting of transpeople and even encourages me to be involved in the Church. I’m on the church board as Jenny-Anne, and I’m sometimes asked to lead the service or even celebrate communion. So I don’t need to choose anymore. I simply don’t go to any church that discriminates against TG people. In the main I find that if I dress reasonably (my style is elegant and smart), and behave in a friendly way, I’m normally accepted and treated as a woman, even though I’m sure most people know I’m a Trans woman. Also a lot of churches at grass-roots level are changing and being more accepting and inclusive. There is now a network of UK churches called inclusivechurch.net,where all the churches are LBGTI friendly.

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In your writings you say that you felt for a long time that you could not even pray to God as Jenny, do you feel that this was because of Society or your own conscience, as it were.?
This was because of the way I brought up as a strict Roman Catholic. I was taught never to question what the Church said about almost anything to do with religion and human relationships. I now understand that this is only man’s interpretation of what God might or might not have said. Jesus made friends with everyone, often people that society rejected, and he valued them for the people they were, and not how society saw them. I think the church has often misinterpreted the scriptures and these in themselves may be miswritten or misinterpreted in all the various languages over the years. I believe in a very simple Christianity, of learning to love yourself as you were created and the treating all without prejudice and as you would want to be treated. As an illustration, when the Pope went to heaven he asked to look at the Original words of God , and was somewhat distressed to find the Word was “ Celebrate “ and not “Celibate” !!! I also believe that Women had a much greater part and status in the early church and it’s only men who have changed that, not God. It’s great to see women being more involved in the running of the churches and taking central roles in some churches, alongside the men.

Would you say now, with hind sight, that God accepts your soul, Jenny’s soul, and that physicality’s are inconsequential? Yes, that’s exactly as I see it. God just wants me to be myself, as he created me, and not worry how that appears to other people. Of course you don’t behave or dress inappropriately so as to deliberately upset others. But God is only really interested in how your heart behaves to others, and how you open yourself to his Spirit. Do you feel that the church as a whole has a fairly antiquated view?
Yes, many church leaders don’t understand the physical reasons for people being Transgendered, although this is changing and they are trying in many churches to learn. Next week I will address a conference of Catholic Priests in Manchester about being Trans, and how the Churches attitude has affected me, and if it has changed more recently

Many in the TG experience depression; do you feel this is a fault of Society’s lack of acceptance, or just our own inner turmoil?

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I think the depression is caused by both aspects. A more accepting society would ease the burden of being Transgendered, but also I think it’s up to us to learn to accept the way we are and then to gain the confidence to be ourselves, often with the help and support of the Trans-community and in some cases a caring and understanding church. I know from personnel experience that if you go about confidently with a smile for everyone and dress reasonably, you mainly get acceptance everywhere. I think some of the problems are more in the mind than real, or are self generated. I do think it’s up to us to be the best TG woman & TG Men we each can be, and be tolerant to others.

Having met you, you come across as a very feminine, gentle soul, so what on earth possessed you to take part in Miss Golden Sparkle?
Thank you, that’s exactly the image I want to portray, along with being a very friendly and elegant woman. I want to be noticed and seen as an attractive and friendly middle aged woman with a bit of charisma about her. I work in Sales and Marketing, so I’ve learnt to be assertive and focused in what I want to achieve. I really wanted to be Miss Golden Sparkle both for myself and for promoting the Girls in the NW. I felt Sparkle 2005 was very much conceived, organised and planned from a London point of view and did not really involve the local people in Manchester or exploit their talents fully. I’ve been in Support groups in Manchester since 1973 and the village since its accidental creation by John Anderton, who was Chief Constable at the time. I know Manchester has so much to offer to Trans-people, so I wanted to wave the flag for us Northern Girls, even though I come from London originally, I very much regard myself as a NW Girl now having spent a large part of the last 32 years in and around Manchester. Why was Manchester chosen to hold Sparkle? Because for the Trans-community, it is a much more friendly and fully integrated town than London. This is a large part of the reason why I live in the NW. I don’t believe any other city in the UK could have made Sparkle work so well either last year (2005) or particularly this year (2006), and that it’ll be even better in 2007.

Having walked the boards myself now, I appreciate the ‘buzz’ what was it like to actually win?
I agree, it’s a real buzz to be up there in front of the audience, and it’s a huge high to win, much better than alcohol, and with a terrific adrenalin rush. Although I have to say, my partner, Elen, who helped me prepare for the competition was even more excited than I was, when I won last year. She has been with me at all the events I went to and helped make it a truly thrilling year.

How do you think this experience has helped you?
The experience of winning, boosted my self confidence, and helped me to live much more openly as Jenny-Anne in ordinary life. I have been to the local festivals as Miss Golden Sparkle and also appeared in last years Manchester Pride Festival.

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I believe it has strengthened my resolve to transition fully when I retire in about two years time, by showing me I can live full time as Jenny-Anne, and be widely accepted. I believe that being Miss Sparkle 2005 has helped Steffi in similar way; she looks so complete as a woman this year, and has lots of self confidence. I told my story of being Miss Golden Sparkle in Repartee Magazine and several girls have written to say that my story is like theirs, and that if I can do it, they feel inspired to progress further. It has also made me more contacts in the TG world where I help run four support groups and moderate on several e-groups. These contacts allow better networking and being able to reach out to other’s who need help and support.

What has the last year been like for you?
Fantastically busy, I don’t seem to have a moment of spare time either at work or in my personal life. So many events to be involved in and so many people contacting me. I do feel I’ve neglected my partner Elen a bit over the last year, with all the calls I have on my time from others. One of the best moments was Tea at the Ritz in London as part of my prize for winning the competition. I got a full makeover by Jodie Lynn and then we went together for tea. I didn’t feel at all nervous and really enjoyed the whole experience, I think Jodie and I were easily the best dressed and most elegant ladies there. People kept treating us like celebrities and we had to be quite cautious not to overstep the mark! That experience was something I’d probably never have done for myself, but now I’m so glad I did it.

How much of that is down to being Miss Golden Sparkle?
Probably only a small amount, once the momentum was established, I was able to branch out in many directions. However I don’t think either I or the Sparkle Organisation exploited the Title enough. especially in the cause of making Trans People more acceptable and publicising the Sparkle event...

Was it nice to go back as a judge, or was that just as nerve-wracking?
It was a terrific experience; I didn’t feel at all nervous. I loved being back up on the stage in front of all the Girls again, and only wished I could do it all over again. I was very interested in doing the judging properly and was really puzzled and surprised by the outcome. I would certainly like to do it again.

What are your involvements in the TG community?
That’s a tough one as about 70% of my life in involvement with the Trans community: I do Diversity training with North Wales, Cheshire and Greater Manchester Police,

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I’m the Trans Ministry co-ordinator at our Church and run the MCC Manchester Trans Discussion Group, and organise social events for the Church and several groups. I help run three other TG support groups, & I’m on the committee for Sibyls ( National Group for Christian TG people ), Unique ( North Wales & West Cheshire), Inner Enigma ( Manchester TS Support Group), Deputy Chair person of our local LBGT group, help organise weekends away for TG people, I’m part of the UKTA, and run an e-group for our Manchester TG Discussion Group, I’m also a help liner with the Beaumont trust and a listener for Sibyls. I also help moderate several national e-groups for TG people I’ve been on National Television and on the Local Radio and work at various local events to show that Trans People are good citizens and can contribute well to local life. So you can see why I’m so busy all the time.

What are your present and future ventures?
Currently I’m involved in organising some Trans weekends, and trying to get funding for a Transgender outreach worker for our group to work with all the NW TG groups and offer training to various local faith groups. Were also trying to get the UK Trans Alliance to function as a national clearing house for all the groups so that we can network resources and information... ( http://uktransalliance.org.uk/ ) We’re in the midst of trying for funding for the Unique Group in North Wales to allow us to produce better publicity and further mail shots, and to fund more useful speakers at the meetings. I’m also setting up the Manchester MCC TG Discussion group as a separate entity to the Church, so that we can apply for funding in our own right, instead of having to rely on Church support. The group does not function as a Church group, but is supported by it. Some of the members come to church regularly, and many see it as a safe group because of its association with the Church, so I don’t want to loose the link completely. I’m also very interested in furthering the work that GWRB Manchester does to support couples and partners of Trans people. Also they are planning a Grand Ball in Mid November to support Children in Need. http://www.gwrb.net/ When I retire I hope to be able to put more into helping the NW groups and have a bit more time to spend helping individual girls... I’m hoping to take a course in counselling so that I can be a better listener and be able to give more professional assistance. This should also improve the professional standards of training we give to various organisations and it’s an area I like to expand further to enable many more to understand diversity and come to accept the great rainbow of people.

Personal hopes for the future?
I’m expecting to retire in around 18 months to two years time, unless I can persuade my employer to let me work as Jenny-Anne. In the past being TG lead to me being made redundant 3 times and sidelined for promotion several times. So not sure they would accept me as myself. I will transition completely in early 2008 and live the last part of my life as the Trans-woman I am. I’m also expecting to form a civil partnership with my T-girlfriend Elen, and move to Rhyl in North Wales where she lives. 12

General hopes for the future?
That the progress that Trans-People have made over the last few years will continue to accelerate and we will get rid of prejudice against us. That we achieve much better health care and support in the NHS, including proper joined-up health care & support with all the ancillary services ( voice Training, Facial Cosmetic surgery, breast augmentation, Hair removal , deportment, make and style skills etc) all being part of the care for TransPeople, rather as Dr. Richard Curtiss is attempting to do privately. This can be via outside agencies and support groups, but should be co-ordinated by the NHS. That we can all collaborate amongst ourselves throughout all the separate TG groups to achieve much better use of our limited resources, as together we’re so much stronger. That we continue to learn the lessons of how the Gay and Lesbian community achieved its rights and acceptance. That soon, being a Trans-person will be as ordinary as being from an ethnic minority or being Gay. Words of wisdom…..( no less than 1000 words hehehehehe) I think I’ve said most of it in the proceeding paragraphs, but what I can offer is to learn just to accept yourself and to be positive in your presentation as a Trans-person, you’ll be surprised how often you’re not only accepted, but how often pass too. Just be the Best T-girl you can be and face the World with a positive attitude, you’ll be surprised where it gets you to! Interestingly, I found that once I changed from Blonde to Brunette I got better acceptance both from both the Male and Female sides of the general population. It seemed like they observed me as a more serious or committed Trans-woman. But I had to go back to being Blonde to win Miss Golden Sparkle!! Thanks for reading my Interview, if I can help you or you have any questions, please e-mail me at jennyannebuk@yahoo.co.uk or fell free to contact our group at

http://www.mccmanchester.co.uk/trans.htm
Don’t forget Sparkle 2007

THE INTERNATIONAL TRANSGENDER CELEBRATION MANCHESTER Fri-Sun June 22nd - 25th 2007 http://www.sparkle.org.uk/ Love & Hugs Jenny-Anne Bishop
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POLLS

APART

Firstly, let me apologise for only the one poll this month, What with Sparkles last month , everything was a Lil hectic, but an interesting one its was none-the-less. The basic premise was to get an idea of where we take our first faltering steps into the laser-like glare of Mr & Mrs J. Public. I must say that my first outing was, like many, for a walk, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Just look at 2 of the highest venues- a walk and a drive, the majority of which I can bet you were done alone, probably on the spur of the moment, and VERY RISKY!!! Time and again I try and impart a lil wisdom from the tome of “Been there, done it”. What really infuriates me are still the block of silly girls who urge newbies that they simply MUST go out, no matter what, where, and to what cost. For gods sake, going out isn’t the be-all and end-all of being a TG, acceptance should come from within, and for a very long time, before you even consider going out. Yes, it is a thrill, but you want it to be one you can remember for all the right reasons , there is a great difference between the “ thrill” and sheer terror of being at serious risk!
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A walk or a drive are fine, but for Gods sake take someone with you, take a change of clothes, spare money, plan your route, TAKE EVERY PRECAUTION!! Clubbing, as always, proved to be a fav too, much safer than going solo, but again, has risks. Admirers are the biggest in this scenario, some just don’t understand NO!! Again, use your brain, plan your route home , ALWAYS have a watch , if using public transport( which I invariably have to do) don’t get the last train , get the SECOND to last, that way less chance of a cancellation and you getting stranded. Extra money too, NEVER rely on a lift, always have back-up money that will get you home safely in a worst case scenario. The rest, pubs , friends and dressing services are much safer bets, I’ve never used a dressing service myself, but know many who swear by them, so who knows, maybe one day. I must say, what has saddened me about this poll is the big fat ZERO for Sparkles and other TG events. WHATS WRONG WTH YOU PEOPLE???? You couldn’t get a safer venue; they are specifically designed for US!! BY US!! I can only speak from my own experience, but I found Sparkles to be fantastic, I have never felt safer, happier and more MANDY than ever before. We need to support these events more than ever, help them grow and they, in turn, will help us grow. So then girls, sorry to go on a bit, but I see so many of you putting yourselves at risk for a few quick moments of a thrill, the bigger thrill is being alive to enjoy many years of being you, so for Gods sake , be careful out there, OK? I know I only have a limited experience, but if I can help any of you, if you need some advice or want steering towards someone who can help, then please, just ask!! Till next month xxxxxx

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LORI’S

REVIEW

Well, it would appear to be August (already!). I trust by now your all tanned to a lovely golden brown (sorry Mandy)(Heh heh heh!), hung over nicely, and ready for a break from all the lounging around you have been doing all summer? Excellent! Get the popcorn in the microwave, the bottle on ice (kool-aid for me thanks), and the DVD player warmed up, its time to do some more, well, lounging around. Lets look at some movies, shall we? Surely you weren't in the mood to go do something productive after all that relaxation, were you?

The first movie we're going to look at this month is

"The Matador"
(Miramax films, rated R) starring Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, and Hope Davis

A hit man and a sales man walk into a bar.........

Julian Knoble (Pierce Brosnan) is a "facilitator of fatalities", a quaint euphemism for the not so nice job of" hit man". Not a bad job as jobs go, the pay is good, there is a lot of opportunity for travel, and its a great career choice for someone who enjoys a challenge. It would appear, however, that being a hit man does have one big drawback (just one?). Seems its hard to make friends when ones job is 16 killing people (go figure.......).

Danny Wright (Greg Kinnear) is a salesman who just happens to be on a business trip in Mexico City at the same time Julian is doing a job. The two bump into each other in a bar and a most unlikely friendship begins. This is a buddy film. The interaction between Julian, the ultimate bad guy, and Wright, the ultimate average Joe is quite good! The comedy potential for a film with a plot like this one cant be overlooked, and this film has plenty of (dark) humor in it. At one point we see Julain trying to convince Danny to help him with with a hitJulian: "Come on! It'll be a good time!"Danny:" Oh, so now killing people is a good time?"Julian:" ...Can be". Danny asks Julian if he's serious about something at another point (cant remember why) and Danny tells him he's as "serious as an erectile problem!" Now that's just funny.......At another point Julian comments that he " looks like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning, after the navy's left town". You gotta love a film with good one-liners in it....

I think that perhaps this is the best film I have ever seen Pierce Brosnan in. His acting is superb. Perhaps he's a bit old for the James Bond role, but he still knows how to act, and this movie is the proof. Greg Kinnear does a good job as well, and Hope Davis as Danny's wife "Bean" is just fantastic! When Danny introduces Julian to Bean after he shows up out of the blue on their door step late one cold december night, one of the first things she asks him is if she can "see his gun"....... Well, what else are you going to ask a hit man you just met? This isn't a big budget film. No flashy special effects, no big pile of extras. Most of it is just Danny and Julian and the weird relationship the two strike up. It is a violent film. It has bad language and some pretty rough sex scenes you wouldn't want your kids to walk in on, but if you can get past that stuff, I would highly recommend this one. Im going to give it a 3 out of 4 on my rating scale.

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Next up on our list of films is the romantic comedy

"Failure to launch"
(Paramount, rated PG-13) Starring Mathew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker, Zooey Deschanel, Kathy Bates, and Terry Bradshaw. For starters I just want to point out that no animals were harmed in the making of this movie. That's because the animals were quite busy harming the humans...... Tripp (Mathew McConaughey) lives at home withhis parents. No big deal were it not for the fact that he is in his mid 30's. Mom and Dad (Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw) want him out. A neighbor introduces them to Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) who specializes (for a fee, of course) in getting deadbeat men who are still living at home with their parents to move out, by causing them to fall in love with her, then convincing them its time

to leave the nest. Which brings us to Tripp. He loves being a bachelor. And he loves living at home. When a woman gets too close to him, he just invites her over to his place. This movie has a good cast but that said, I found this movie to be kind of stupid. Poor Tripp seems to have a knack for getting chomped on by a variety of animals including a dolphin, a chipmunk, and a vegetarian lizard. . Funny stuff I guess, but it didn't really do much for the movie. I wont tell you how the rest of the movie goes. It has a bit of bad language, some pretty tame sex scenes, and of course the nude scene I'll be trying to forget for the next little while.....Perhaps the cast lead me to have higher expectations, I don't know. It just didn't do much for me. Im going to give it a 2 out of 4 on my rating scale. It wont kill you to watch it if your bored, but I think it had the potential to be a better movie than it was.
18

13th

August
L e f t H a n d e d
No-one has come up with a definitive reason for WHY some people are left-handed, but about 13% of the population around the world are, and it is thought to be genetic - it definitely runs in families. Researchers have recently located a gene they believe "makes it possible to have a left-handed child " so if you have that gene, one or more of your children may be lefthanded, whereas without it, you will only have right-handers - sorry! The good news is, that if you are left-handed yourself, you have that gene and will pass it on through the generations!

WARNING! YOU MAY BE MORE LEFT-HANDED THAN YOU THINK!!! 1. Imagine the centre of your back is itching. Which hand do you scratch it with? 2. Interlock your fingers. Which thumb is uppermost? 3. Imagine you are applauding. Start clapping your hands. Which hand is uppermost? 4. Wink at an imaginary friend straight in front of you. Which eye does the winking? 5. Put your hands behind your back, one holding the other. Which hand is doing the holding? 6. Someone in front of you is shouting but you cannot hear the words. Cup your ear to hear better. Which ear do you cup? 7. Count to three on your fingers, using the forefinger of the other hand. Which forefinger do you use? 8. Tilt your head over on to one shoulder. Which shoulder does it touch? 9. Fixate a small distant object with your eyes and point directly at it with your forefinger. Now close one eye. Now change eyes. Which eye was open when the fingertip remained in line with the small object? (When the other eye, the non-dominant one, is open and the dominant eye is closed, the finger will appear to move to one side of the object.) 10. Fold your arms. Which forearm is uppermost?

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FASCINATING LEFT-HANDED FACTS
Most left-handers draw figures facing to the right There is a high tendency in twins for one to be left-handed Stuttering and dyslexia occur more often in left-handers (particularly if they are forced to change their writing hand as a child, like King of England George VI). Left-handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater. Left-handers excel particularly in tennis, baseball, swimming and fencing Left-handers usually reach puberty 4 to 5 months after right-handers 4 of the 5 original designers of the Macintosh computer were left-handed 1 in 4 Apollo astronauts were left-handed - 250% more than the normal level. Left-handers are generally more intelligent, better looking, imaginative and multi-talented than right handers ( based on discussions among members of the Left-Handers Club! :)

20

Your Views ….

Lefty's Rule, 75% of the US


Presidents have been left handed people. Well Heather here is a lefty and damn proud of it.

Hi Mandy


My sister is left-handed.. When she started going to school in the beginning of the ´60: s, she wasn’t allowed to use her left hand to write with !!! It was horrible for her... She was forced to use the right hand... What’s the big deal?? Who really cares, if you use your left or right hand?? I guess, it’s more important that you can be able to read the writing!!!

Widdie


Hi to everyone yes it’s me Joanne the long suffering wife off Mandy and yes I’m one of the


rare left handed people. One thing is, is it just me or do all left handed people think and say things back to front? Mandy thinks its me but I’m here to prove her wrong so do let me know (hehehe). my address is joannetlbt@yahoo.co.uk Being left handed I find a lot of things hard to do like using a tin opener, peeling potatoes, knitting, and sewing. My BIG thing is hand writing. Mandy thinks I’m lazy but I put it down to being left handed. I just can’t grasp holding the pen properly. Some of my younger family members have better handwriting than me, so you can imagine how embarrassing that is. I’m just thinking, is there any good points of being left handed, I cant think of any. Last note on this subject, I think society doesn’t cater enough for us left handeres, I’m sure you agree.

Lots of love Joanne xxxxxxxx.


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ypsy
It's unlikely that you missed it, but last year eclectic ethnic swept the nation with a phenomenal speed, reaching a peak in the summer with the ultra feminine Gypsy Boho skirt. In 2005, women began to wear skirts for the first time in years. This revived 1970's tiered 'Hippy Skirt' has been a worldwide success and because of the easy fit with mostly elasticated waist/drawstring and lots of hip room it is ultra comfortable. In addition this makes it very easy to manufacture with one size often adjusting to fit many. Ethnic touches had been around for some time in the noughties, but no one could have truly forecast just how they would come together to culminate in the huge and how universally adopted Gypsy Boho Look. Yet now, with 2006 upon us we find the time has come to move forward. This is easily achievable with the Rich Russian Look which will take you through the transition from Boho to Babushka with ease.

lood

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Top Left – Abound $29.00 Styles – Top(from left) Peep Stair border Tier Centre – Soft Surroundings $49

Styles – Bottom(from left) Oriental Floral Hankerchief Bottom Right – Additions $12

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1 4 7 9
1 – Junk Jewellery Set with Beads $2.60 2 – Junk Beaded Necklace Set with Beads $3.00 3 – Chunky Beaded Necklace with Metal Beads $3.25 4 – Natural Stone Jewellery Necklace Set With Matching Earrings $3.50 5 – Stone Jewellery Necklace Set With Orange Natural Beads $4.75

2 5 6

3

8 10
6 – Beaded Necklace With Red Beads $3.00 7 – Flower Style With Multicoloured Stones $4.00 8 – Gold-plated Stone Studded Multicoloured Fashion Bangle $12.00 9 – Gold-plated Stone Studded Jumbo Bangle $8.00 10 – Gold-plated with White Stone $7.00

24 www.Xportjewelry.com

ittle

lack

ress

WINNER

Brenda-Marie
25

many
Jessi (Aug)

Candles????
TO ALL MY FRIENDS…..

Steve (Aug)

Christen (Aug)

Sarah (Aug)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! XXXXXXXX

Andrew (Aug)

Sara (Aug)

Rhea (Aug)

Gina (Aug)

Linda (Aug)

Bridget (Aug)

Rachel (Aug)

Caitlin (Aug)

Maria (Aug)

Stephannie (Aug)

Diane (Aug)

Roxxanne (Aug)

Rachel (Aug)

Julia (Aug)

Also this month :- Warren, Drewman, Jake, Mittmitt, Amywag, Midpen, Brent & Dave. 26

Birthday this month
Birth name Alfred Joseph Hitchcock Nickname Hitch The Master of Suspense Height 5' 7" (1.70 m) Mini biography Alfred Hitchcock was the son of East End greengrocer William Hitchcock and his wife Emma. Raised as a strict Catholic and attending Saint Ignatius College, a school run by Jesuits, Hitch had very much of a regular upbringing. His first job outside of the family business was in 1915 as an estimator for the Henley Telegraph and Cable Company. His interest in movies began at around this time, frequently visiting the cinema and reading US trade journals. In 1920 Hitch learned that Lasky were to open a studio in London and managed to secure a job as a title designer. He designed the titles for all the movies made at the studio for the next two years. In 1923 he got his first chance at directing when the director of Always Tell your Wife (1923) fell ill and Hitch completed the movie. Impressed by his work, studio chiefs gave him his first directing assignment on Number 13 (1922), however, before it could be finished, the studio closed its British operation. Hitch was then hired by Michael Balcon to work as an assistant director for the company later to be known as Gainsborough Pictures. In reality Hitch did more than this - working as a writer, title designer and art director. After several films for the company, Hitch was given the chance to direct a British/German coproduction called The Pleasure Garden (1925). Hitchcock's career as a director finally began. Hitchcock went on to become the most widely known and influential director in the history of world cinema with a significant body of work produced over 50 years.

27

The Lodger (1926 - Silent) Starring: Ivor Novello and Marie Ault Taut thriller of a lodger accused of murder by a jealous detective. The Ring (1927 - Silent) Starring: Carl Brisson and Ian Hunter Jealous lovers and an angry prizefighter combine in this suspenseful film. Easy Virtue (1927 - Silent) Starring: Isabel Jeans and Ian Hunter Drama of a woman torn between her alcoholic husband and suicidal lover. Champagne (1928 - Silent) Starring: Betty Balfour and Gordon Harker Gorgeous cinematography and classic story of a rich father trying to teach his daughter an important lesson make this a must-see for many Hitchcock fans. The Farmer's Wife (1928 - Silent) Starring: Jameson Thomas and Lillian Hall-Davies A farmer, his wife, and the housekeeper in a classic romantic triangle. Manxman (1929) Starring: Carl Brisson and Anny Ondra Timeless story of love and betrayal on the Isle of Man. Blackmail (1929) Starring: Anny Ondra and John Longden First British sound picture features tale of a blackmailed Scotland Yard inspector. Juno and the Paycock (1930) Starring: Sara Allgood and Edward Chapman Adaptation of Sean O'Casey's seriocomic play of life in Dublin slums Murder! (1930) Starring: Herbert Marshall and Nora Baring When a lone juror believes the defendant in a murder trial is innocent, he's determined to find the real killer himself. Skin Game (1931) Starring: Edmund Gwenn and Jill Esmond Two families-- one wealthy, one poor-- battle over land in this saga. Rich and Strange (1932) Starring: Henry Kendall and Joan Barry A leisurely trip around the world for a wealthy couple is interrupted by a shipwreck. Number 17 (1932) Starring: Leon M. Lion and Anne Grey This comic thriller follows the escapades of a luckless hobo who happens on a thief's hidden fortune

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934) Starring: Leslie Banks and Edna Best Political adventure-thriller of an American couple caught in an assassination plot later remade by Hitchcock himself. The 39 Steps (1935) Starring: Madeleine Carroll and Robert Donat Spies, murder and mistaken identity combine in this espionage thriller. Secret Agent (1936) Starring: Madeleine Carroll and John Gielgud Tension-filled thriller explores spies in the English countryside. Sabotage (1936) Starring: Sylvia Sidney and Oscar Homolka This comic thriller features a theater cashier who suspects her husband is a terrorist. Young and Innocent (1937) Starring: Derrick DeMarney and Nova Pilbeam A man accused of an actress' murder is aided by a young woman in clearing his name. The Lady Vanishes (1938) Starring: Margaret Lockwood and Michael Redgrave A woman is drawn into a web of intrigue when her companion on a train disappears. Jamaica Inn (1939) Starring: Charles Laughton and Maureen O'Hara Suspenseful melodrama focuses on daring orphan who uncovers smugglers' ring. Rebecca (1940) Starring: Laurence Olivier and Joan Fontaine Adaptation of Daphne Du Maurier's famous novel of a couple tormented by the presence of the husband's dead wife. Foreign Correspondent (1940) Starring: Joel McCrea and Laraine Day An unsuspecting crime reporter gets swept up in an international espionage conspiracy in this fast-paced adventure. Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1941) Starring: Carole Lombard and Robert Montgomery Hilarious screwball comedy about the merry mishaps that befall a couple after they discover they weren't legally married. Suspicion (1941) Starring: Cary Grant and Joan Fontaine Subtle suspense and fine-drawn tension in this mystery of a wealthy woman who suspects her playboy husband wants to murder her. Saboteur (1942) Starring: Priscilla Lane and Robert Cummings 28 accusations of murder and sabotage leads to some False surprising consequences in this chilling film.

Shadow of a Doubt (1943) Starring: Joseph Cotten and Teresa Wright Woman suspects her loving uncle of murder. Hitchcock's own personal favorite. Bon Voyage & Aventure Malgache (1944) Starring: John Blythe Directed by Hitchcock for the war effort in Britain during WWII, this pair of short films details a British pilot behind enemy lines. Lifeboat (1944) Starring: Tallulah Bankhead and William Bendix Psychological thriller about survivors trapped on a lifeboat with limited supplies. Features nail biting suspense and fine performances. Spellbound (1945) Starring: Ingrid Bergman and Gregory Peck An amnesiac impersonating a famous psychologist. The doctor who wants to save him-- even if he is guilty of murder. Notorious (1946) Starring: Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman A classic tale of love and betrayal-- an FBI agent must send the woman he loves to seduce a Nazi conspirator. The Paradine Case (1947) Starring: Gregory Peck and Alida Valli Courtroom melodrama about a lawyer who falls for his client Rope (1948) Starring: James Stewart and Farley Granger Compelling tale of murder between friends, famed for its basis on Leopold & Loeb case and experimental cinematography. Under Capricorn (1949) Starring: Ingrid Bergman and Joseph Cotten Period drama details saga of an English lady who falls in love with her cousin. Stage Fright (1950) Starring: Jane Wyman and Marlene Dietrich Drama student accused of murder must battle to prove her own innocence. Strangers on a Train (1951) Starring: Farley Granger and Ruth Roman A must-see classic, this tale of strangers who take on each other's murders builds to a nail-biting climax. I Confess (1953) Starring: Montgomery Clift and Anne Baxter Thoughtful character study of a priest who hears a murderer's confession-- only to fall under suspicion himself.

Dial M for Murder (1954) Starring: Ray Milland and Grace Kelly An heiress and her husband's oh-so-perfect plot to kill her make up this taut thriller. Rear Window (1954) Starring: James Stewart and Grace Kelly One of the Master's finest-- a photographer laid up with a broken leg finds himself caught up in his neighbors' lives- and one of their murders. To Catch a Thief (1955) Starring: Grace Kelly and Cary Grant Romance and intrigue combine in a seaside resort when a reformed jewel thief is suspected of a rash of burglaries. The Trouble with Harry (1955) Starring: Edmund Gwenn and John Forsythe In this black comedy, a small town has a big problem-- a body that won't stay put. The Wrong Man (1956) Starring: Henry Fonda and Vera Miles It's noir à la Hitchcock in this stark, gritty tale of a wrongly-accused jazz musician. The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) Starring: James Stewart and Doris Day Hitchcock's edge-of-your-seat remake of his own 1934 movie involves Americans caught up in an assassination plot. Vertigo by Alfred Hitchcock (1958) Starring: James Stewart and Kim Novak Considered Hitchcock's masterpiece-- caught in a neverending spiral of deception and obsession, a private detective must discover the truth behind the death of the woman he loved. North by Northwest (1959) Starring: Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint Heart-stopping suspense abound in this tale of an innocent man mistaken for a notorious spy. Psycho by Alfred Hitchcock (1960) Starring: Anthony Perkins and Janet Leigh The seminal horror film of a young man tormented by his past-- and his mother. The Birds (1963) Starring: Rod Taylor and Tippi Hedren Terror strikes out of nowhere when birds begin mysteriously attacking anyone and anything in their way.

Marnie (1964) Starring: Sean Connery and Tippi Hedren A beautiful kleptomaniac and the man who loves her clash in this psychological thriller.

29

Torn Curtain (1966) Starring: Paul Newman and Julie Andrews Bewildering his wife, friends, and colleagues, an American physicist defects-- or does he? Topaz (1969) Starring: John Forsythe and Frederick Stafford Danger and intrigue abound in this complex espionage thriller. Frenzy (1972) Starring: Jon Finch and Barry Foster The Master at his most shocking in this black comedy about a series of strangulations. Family Plot (1876) Starring: Karen Black and Bruce Dern A phoney psychic faces off with a jewel thief in this thriller/comedy.

Hitchcock on……
On the relationship with his audiences:

To a woman who complained that the shower scene so frightened her daughter that the girl would no longer shower: "Then Madam I suggest you have her dry cleaned."

On why people were fond of his thrillers:

"they like to put their toe in the cold water of fear."

"Always make the audience suffer as much as possible"

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder"

On murder on TV:

"Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."

"Television has brought murder back into the home - where it belongs"

On violence:

"Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table.

"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it."

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On his movies and his method:

Reporter: What is the deepest logic of your films? Hitchcock: To put the audience through them

On his mission in life: "to simply scare the hell out of people."

"To me Psycho was a big comedy. Had to be."

"Even my failures make money and become classics a year after I make them."

"If I were to make another picture set in Australia I'd have a policeman hop into the pocket of a kangaroo and yell, Follow that car!"

"We try to tell a good story and develop a hefty plot. Themes emerge as we go along"

"Drama is life with the dull bits left out"

Hitchcock Trivia…….
According to many people who knew Hitchcock, he couldn't stand to even look at his wife, Alma Reville, while she was pregnant. Once dressed up in drag for a party he threw. Footage of this was in his office, but his office was cleaned out after his death, and it is not known if the footage still exists. According to Alfred himself, he was required to stand at the foot of his mothers bed, and tell her what happened to him each day. This explains Anthony Perkins in Psycho (1960) standing at the foot of his mother's bed. Born only one day before his wife, Hitch's suggestion for his tombstone inscription was "This is what we do to bad little boys." (It finally read "I'm in on a plot.") He never won a best director Oscar in competition, although he was awarded the Irving Thalberg Memorial Award at the 1967 Oscars. Alma Reville and Hitch had one daughter, Patricia Hitchcock, who appeared in several of his movies: Stage Fright (1950), Strangers on a Train (1951) and Psycho (1960) He made a cameo appearance in all of his movies beginning with The Lodger (1927) except for LIfeboat (1944), in which he appeared in a newspaper advertisement. The famous Hitchcock profile sketch, most often associated with “Alfred Hitchcock presents” (1955), was actually from a Christmas card Hitchcock designed himself while still living in England. When he won his Lifetime Achievement award in 1979, he joked with friends that he must be about to die soon. He died a year later.

31

And here’s a

SPOOKY tale to end on ……

A Small Case of Mistaken Identity
The heat rose in waves from the level desert floor. It was a mid summer afternoon in Arizona, fifty miles from everything except cactus. Jerry's dad ran the same gas station that his father had run before him. It made a lonely life for a young boy, to spend entire summers so far from friends. Jerry played a lot of basketball, or more accurately, he shot a lot of baskets, since it does require two to play basketball. Sometimes he would look for fossils, or bring home small desert creatures in the pockets of his pants or shirt. They would invariably be forgotten and later crawl out of the laundry to frighten his mom. So it was, each day, every day. This day, however would be different. Jerry left his basketball on the ground and ran into the house. He had just enough time to change his clothes before it was time to leave for a visit to his grandmother's house in Tucson. He paid no attention to the television on which cartoons danced and flashed in merry mayhem across the screen. Cartoons, one of Jerry's favorite forms of entertainment, held no interest for him today. Today he would have even passed up watching the Three Stooges. He would not be watching today, but there were others who were watching. Light years across the galaxy the first television signals from Earth had long since reached eyes and ears that we never dreamed would be there to receive them. Mankind had sent the signals out into space without a thought as to what those signals might say to minds far removed from ours. Minds with a very different frame of reference than those for whom the programs were originally broadcast. The signals would pass many worlds, falling on deaf ears where the people were too primitive to have built the necessary electronics to interpret them. But they would also reach worlds on which the people would be able to understand them, and on one such world the interest in our culture, as expressed by our efforts to communicate, was immense. how could they know that the programs they received were not a depiction of our culture? That they were not a documentary but rather a parody? How could they know that violence and stupidity were not the rule, but rather they were our first clumsy efforts at electronic entertainment? Most worlds would wait long enough to correctly interpret, but one world did not wait, did not understand. Their reply would arrive today. The small ship entered the solar system unnoticed, it's size and flight path designed to evade detection. It's cybernetic guidance system maneuvered the craft through the asteroids and space debris with cold unerring efficiency, just as it had done since leaving it's home planet so long ago. As it drew nearer to Earth the volume of debris increased. The atmospheric disturbances and need for stealth strained the guidance system's computers. the ships sensory instruments recorded every item and every bit of information for later study. Once the craft landed, the occupants would be awakened from their decades long sleep. The time was at hand for them to complete a mission which had begun so many years ago and so very far away

32

The platinum colored ship settled slowly through the atmosphere, sunlight glinting off it's flanks. it was a slightly flattened teardrop spiraling downward, point first, to a soft landing on the flat hard-packed desert floor. It sat motionless for a very long time after landing. Finally, cracks appeared in the smooth surface on the underside of the ship. The cracks widened and became hatches. When they were fully open, two travellers from light years distant took their first steps on Earth. The visitors scanned the horizon all around them alert for any sign of human activity. The silent desert stretched away in every direction. The site had been chosen for just that reason. They concluded that it had been chosen well. It was time to begin their work. They walked slowly toward the rear of the ship and the second hatch. They were short creatures, frail of appearance with large snowshoe-like feet and long thin necks that seemed illsuited to support their large round heads. Slender arms reached nearly to the ground. They wore suits of a material that looked very much like the skin of their ship. There were pulsing vein-like conduits affixed to the outside of each suit. They stood under the open hatch and one raised his hand toward the opening. In his hand he held a box which he pointed toward something inside the ship. A cylinder, considerably larger than both of the visitors began descending from the hatch. It continued its' slow steady decent beyond its' first contact with the surface. The cylinder was buried deep beneath the surface under the spacecraft. The visitors then smoothed the surface. Satisfied that their cargo was safely concealed, the travellers turned and reboarded their ship, closing the hatches behind them with a simple motion of their hands. The ship rose as silently and swiftly as it had come, leaving no trace of its' brief stay, except for one large cylinder. Once clear of the Earth's atmosphere, an energy beam of immense strength and intensity issued from the ship in the direction of its' home planet. The signal lasted perhaps a nanosecond but carried all the information necessary. It told of a mission successfully completed. Carried on a beam of energy, the message would arrive many years before the ship that sent it. Before returning to hibernation, the visitors had one further task to complete. The device was in place and nothing could prevent it from detonating once the ship was truly clear of danger. They sent the execute command to the cylinder and received the confirmation code from it, thus initiating a countdown. There was no more for them to do other than to reenter hibernation, confident that nothing could prevent the successful detonation of the device. They set their ship on automatic, entered their hibernation tubes and set the controls that would wake them many years in the future when they were certain their long mission would truly end with a heroes welcome home. Beneath the planet surface the cylinder waited patiently for the correct time. The shock waves would penetrate deep into the Earths' core causing monumental chain reactions certain to destroy the planet. The core would be breached causing volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and a firestorm that would envelope the entire surface of the planet. Time ran out. Jerry was leaving the house when the cylinder exploded. There was a brilliant flash. He dropped his bag and ran into the house calling for his mother. "Mom!" he cried, "Mom, you gotta see this! My basketball just blew up! It's on fire!"

Courtesy of Ms. Lisa-Gayle
33

STOCKINGS
A N D

SUSPENDERS

COMPETITION
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who has the fairest pins of all?
VOTE #1 - Kristin VOTE #2 - Wilhelmina

34

VOTE #3 - Kylie

VOTE #4 – Wendy-sue

VOTE #5 - Gilly

VOTE #6 - Michelle

VOTE #7 - Rachel

VOTE #8 - Chantal

35

VOTE #10 - Bobbie

VOTE #9 - Sharon

VOTE #11 - Carla

VOTE #13 -KIrsty VOTE #12 - Joan

VOTE #14 -Lucy

36

Light’s, Camera, STOCKING’S????

37

ew of us would realise, whilst staring admiringly at the shapely legs of the many James Bond girlfriends, or the perfect pins of the Russian Secret Agents, or, for that matter, the sexily stockinged legs of Miss Moneypenny, that we were all being duped. How many guys would blush in confusion, or girls gape in awe when they are told that the most memorable legs in Bond movies do in fact belong to a stuntman, Bob Simmons, to be precise! He played the Spectre villain Jacques Boitier in Thunderball(1965). Boitier fakes his death and attends his own funeral dressed as a black-skirted widow. He comes to a sticky end at the hands of Sean Connery, but not before he has displayed a surprisingly trim pair of legs. Bob Simmon’s story, is celebrated in book celebrating the history of cross-dressing in films, and a surprisingly large tome it is, running to 24 chapters and more than 400 pages! To be honest, when you look at the index its more a question of which actors HAVENT donned wigs and heels as to which have. From Frank Sinatra to Alistair Sim, Fatty Arbuckle to Rock Hudson. It seems that Cinematic “ Gender-bending” is big business, and coming In such a range too. From La Cage aux Folles(1978) and Pricilla Queen of the Desert where crossdressing is the entire point of the film, right through to the likes of Victor and Victoria and Charley’s Aunt. Of course, one of the great cinematic stills of the 20th Century is the one featuring Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon as musicians Josephine and Daphne in Billy Wilder’s 1959 comedy Some like it hot . At the end of the film Daphne admits to a millionaire suitor that she is not a woman after all, the suitor’s reaction? “Nobody’s perfect”, if only it were that simple!!! Film Directors, happily, don’t seem to have the many hang-ups of today’s society and use cross-dressing in a light-hearted way, using it as an excuse for extravagant costumes and improbable plot twists, dating back as far as 90 years ago with the Keystone film company casting Mack Sennett as a half-witted detective and dressing him up as a heap-big Indian squaw.
38

Us Brits are renowned for our love of pantomime dames and the like, you just have to look at the likes of Bernard Bresslaw and Charles Hawtrey in the Carry On films to see that! For a while, though, Cross-dressing in films went a little out of vogue, but hit back with a vengeance in 1982 with Dustin Hoffman on the lead of Tootsie. Tootsie was, at the time, credited with “making cross-

dressing a widely accepted phenomenon”, but the reality is that it was just relying on a long and reliable format. You only have to think of Frank Sinatra in On the Town(1949) or Benny Hill in Ealing Studio’s Who Done It? To see that cross-dressing make good box office receipts. Its not always portrayed as fun, with cross-dressing being used in such dramatic roles as William Hurt’s portrayal of a homosexual prisoner in Kiss of the Spider Woman (1985) or in Horror films such as No Way To Treat A Lady(1968) and even War-time adventures such as One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing(1941), but when it comes to crossdressing in the film industry…..alls fair in love and war ….xxxx
39 Ladies or Gentlemen, a Pictoral History of Male Cross-dressing in the Movies, by JeanLouis Ginibre, Filipacchi Publishing

A

less ordinary in

Life Budapest
The tranny life in Hungary? Yes it is a difficult question, do we have a real tranny life. I don’t think so. I am a lucky tranny from Budapest, because of my business life I am in foreign countries a lot, in Austria, Germany and in the UK. So I have had the chance to see how the tranny life is there, (and it is not only Sparkles, but that was my biggest and nicest adventure!) Firstly, something about us Hungarians, we are a small, very conservative country, population 10 million, of that 2 million are in Budapest. So the most important city is our capital, Budapest. If we see the statistic, that not more than 0.5 % of the population are TG (TS/TV/CD) there should be about 50 000 of us, But…in reality, transgenderism is not well known and not an accepted issue in my country. So our small tranny club has app. 30 members. This is a club which is not registered, but some TG friends formed it with a HP ( http://tranny.tuti.hu/ ) and with 2-3 events in a year. This is not more than a bigger friendship and it is also quite new, founded last year. In Hungary, the best media for bringing TG people together has been the internet, that is the reason that such groups or homepages were founded only in the last few years. On the HP you can found some links about very nice and kind Hungarian TG people. I have to say, I am not a real member of it, even because of the acceptance problem in the Hungarian population. I have such a job, which doesn’t allow me to have real outing in my country. Based on the above mentioned if any of you would like to visit Hungary or our beautiful capital Budapest, please do so, but it is better if you are not going enfemme in Hotels, restaurants or shopping. We have in Budapest 3 gay bars, where sometimes you can find TG people, but…. it could be dangerous to go enfemme, the people would look at you, call you names and so on. It is usual, that the people are telling a TG can be only gay. It is also not much better with the gay community, in the reality it is also very badly accepted. So that is the reason why I like to go to Vienna, London, Berlin for TG events, and to get nice contacts and friendships for my other side. Otherwise I am a very happy TG, because my wife accept me as I am, but she would like also that I have my outings abroad. So a very big hug from Budapest for every reader of the Narcisse, I am a quite new reader, but I enjoy it very much. From Wilhelmina Glück

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CENTRE-FOLD
R A C H E L
Hi, I'm Rachel and I'm a TGirl from the north-eastern U.S. For me, this TGirl thing can be traced back to my early teenage years. I am now 40+, so that's quite a ways back lol. I had this thing for looking at girls in the lingerie section. I loved looking at girls in bras, panties, and slips. I was lucky enough to have an older sister who had some lovely nylon panties, lacy slips, and pantie-slips. One day I went through the laundry hamper and discovered a pair of her rather delicious mint green nylon panties with lace appliqués on the sides. Fondling them was fun and exciting. I couldn't seem to help myself and I found myself slipping them slowly up my legs. I was wearing my sister's panties!

P A S T E L
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That one event started a continual desire to wear her panties. It was, at the beginning, sexually exciting. A year or so later, I went to a local department store, mustered up all my bravery, and bought my first very own panties. I couldn't wait until I got home to try them on. I finally got home and tried on my new panties and the reaction was almost instantly rewarding shall I say.

From age 14 until my mid-20's, I wore nylon panties under my clothes more than guys' underwear and added pantyhose too. In my late 20's I started wearing a bra most of the day ... even to work! As I say in my bio on my website, starting to wear a bra really began the awakening of being a TGirl for me. No longer was I wearing a bra and panties for sexual excitement, but it was to feel more feminine. I started buying skirts and dresses in my late 20's and experimented with make-up.

My 30's found me becoming more and more feminine. I wanted to go out as a girl, but always seemed to lose my courage. Dressing was limited to hotel rooms and my first pictures show that. I had been all made up and dressed as Rachel with my hand on the doorknob of my hotel room wanting to go out, but so many times I backed off. Finally, one day I touched the doorknob of my hotel room in Burlington, Vermont and said to myself, ok this is it ... enough with being frustrated and scared, its time to be me. I ventured out in the hallway after carefully making sure no one was coming and stepped out and let the door close behind me. I slowly walked down the hall and outside. We all have had that feeling who have been out as girls ... there's nothing quite

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like it. So exciting, so fulfilling, and yet scary too.

For anyone who is still "in the closet", I strongly suggest you venture out even if it’s for just a few minutes. You will feel so happy and have an inner peace that is fantastic. For any of us that consider ourselves TGirls, the feminine part of you cannot ever be fully denied. You may try, but you really will have no great success in ignoring this part of you. It’s what makes us unique and very special. Embrace being a girl and have fun with it!

I am not in the mainstream of society as Rachel yet, but hope to be someday. I have gone out many times ...

mostly to TGirl meetings or TG-friendly places. I have gone to stores shopping as Rachel, but want to get comfortable with going to restaurants and other places as a girl. I'll get there!

For now, I'm single and strongly attracted to genetic girls. I must admit an attraction to other TGirls as well. I do not have an attraction to guys, at least not yet. I do fantasize about going on one date with a guy sometime to be treated like a girl (nothing sexual though). I would describe myself as an old-fashioned kind of girl with a sensual side. I value people who are open, honest, and sincere. I love making new friends and helping the TG community whenever possible. We are a terrific group of people and all societies should take the time to get to know us!

Be happy with yourself and be happy being a girl!!!

Rachel Pastel
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Your eyes are the most expressive part of your face and highlighting them with make up is one of the simplest ways of looking beautiful. Normally one uses kohl pencil, eyeliner and eye shadow to highlight the eyes. Another important part of the eyes that can be highlighted to make your eyes look wonderful is the eyelashes. Eyelashes that are made up accentuate the eyes and bring out the colour of the eyes. You can make your eyelashes your best asset. Here are a few tips on how to do this.

While applying mascara, begin from the roots and then move towards

the tips for best results. Use brown/black mascara instead of a black one. This will give you a

softer and more flattering look. Mascara looks good only if your eyelashes are in good condition. Use a

good lash conditioner to improve the quality of your lashes. When you are in a hurry apply just one coat of mascara only to the top

lashes. This is quick and will make your lashes look natural. Remember to replace your mascara one in three months

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If you were born with straight or limp lashes, grab an eyelash curler! This rather odd-looking beauty tool lifts lashes and opens up the eyes. STEPS 1. Apply eye shadow and eyeliner, allowing it to dry before curling your lashes. Mascara is always applied after curling the lashes to avoid lash breakage and smearing. 2. Ensure that your lashes are clean and dry. 3. Open the curler and place your upper lashes inside its mouth. Close your eye slightly, then open it; all of the lashes should move into the curler's mouth. Always hold the eyelash curler so that the mouth is parallel to your lashes. 4. Move the curler closer to the eye until the tool comes to the base of the lashes, but not over the skin of the eyelid. 5. Keep the eye open and slowly close the curler. Your eyelashes should fan out evenly across the upper bar. If at any time you feel pinching, readjust the curler. 6. Hold the closed curler for a slow count of five, keeping your hand and face steady. Repeat for additional volume. 7. Repeat with the other eye. WARNING! Never pull the curler away from your face when it's clamped onto your lashes, as this may pull your lashes out of your lid.

How To Apply Fake Eyelashes
Keep a piece of paper handy to hold the lashes, and a magnifying mirror, which makes the job a lot easier. Using tweezers, dip the base end of the lashes into the glue, then place the lashes as close to the baseline of your own as you can, filling in wherever you want the greatest impact (generally, the mid to outer lashes look fabulous in false lashes). Press gently, but firmly with something blunt. Hold the lash in place for about 5 seconds until the glue has a chance to hold. Let the glue dry, and then apply a dark eyeliner to camouflage the line of the fake lashes and then apply your mascara. The mascara will help blend your own lashes with the fake ones, and make your eyes look fuller and larger. To remove, gently pull them off with tweezers.

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Tammi’s QUIZ Torment’s
WHAT?
1) 2) 3) 4) 5) What is a baby oyster called? What's the oldest university in the USA? What was Manfred von Richtofen's nickname? What colour is the Mr Men character Mr Happy? What number is a hurricane on the Beaufort Scale?

WHICH?
1) 2) 3) 4) 5) Which singer's original name was Elaine Bookbinder? Which is the nearest planet to earth? Which UK store was first to have an escalator installed? Which is the smallest bone in the body? Which creature in Greek mythology was half-man and half-bull?

WHO?
1) 2) 3) 4) 5) Who became Germany's first female chancellor? Who wrote The Railway Children? Who invented the revolver (handgun)? Whose autobiography is entitled 'Take It Like A Man? Who directed the film 'Alien' ?

HOW?
1) 2) 3) 4) 5) How many syllables are in a Haiku (a type of Japanese verse)? How many sides does a rhombus have? A firkin of beer holds how many gallons? How did soul singer Otis Redding die in 1967? How many labours were performed by Hercules?

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Up Close & Personal
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“I’m never wrong, I just choose to select facts at random”

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A Spell with

HEATHER
Lughnasadh – The Harvest time and Karma – The Three-fold law By Heather Willis We have now come to the Sabbat of Lughnasadh (Loo-NAHS-ah) which is referred to as the Feast of Lugh and is named for this Irish God. Well it is the time of the first harvest under the Celtic Calendar. It is when we harvest the grains of corn, wheat, barley. Breads are baked, because they are the predominant food of the feast, also featured are the later summer fruits and vegetables.
1. Colcannon (cally, poundy) In some parts of Ireland, the Feast of Lughnasadh came to be called Colcannon Sunday, after a dish made from the first digging of potatoes. The cook put on a special white apron kept for the occasion, boiled a huge pot of potatoes over the fire, and mashed them with a wooden mallet. Often, they were seasoned with onions, garlic or cabbage. The cooked vegetables were then turned out onto a platter, and a well hollowed out in the middle for plenty of butter and hot milk. The family sat round and ate, while the cook ate hers from the pot itself—a special privilege. In more well-to-do households, the meal would be accompanied by meat: a flitch of bacon, newly-slaughtered sheep or roast chicken, and followed by seasonal fruits such as gooseberries and blackcurrants. It was thought to be unlucky not to eat Colcannon on this day, so people often made sure to share theirs with less fortunate neighors.

Colcannon
6 servings: 1 medium cabbage, quartered and core removed 2 lb potatoes, scrubbed and sliced with skins left on 2 medium leeks, thoroughly washed and sliced 1 cup milk 1/2 teaspoons each mace, salt, pepper 2 garlic cloves 8 tablespoons unsalted butter Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and boil the cabbage until tender, about 12-15 minutes. Drain off the water and chop the cabbage. Set aside. Bring another pot of water to a boil and boil the potatoes until tender. Drain off the water and set aside. Put the leeks in a saucepan, cover with the milk, bring close to boiling and then turn down to a simmer until tender. Set aside. Add the mace, salt and pepper, and garlic to the pot with the potatoes and mash well with a hand masher. Now add the leeks and their milk and mix in with the potatoes, taking care not to break down the leeks too much. Add a little more milk if necessary to make it smooth. Now mash in the cabbage and lastly the butter. The texture that you want to achieve is smoothbuttery-potato with interesting pieces of leek and cabbage well distributed in it.

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Transfer the whole mixture to an ovenproof dish, make a pattern on the surface and place under the broiler to brown. After the first mouthful, Irish families might call out, "Destruction to the Red-haired Hag!" The red-haired hag is a personification of hunger.

Karma (better known as the Threefold Law) Basically this Law is of common sense. What you give out positive deeds and thoughts, you will be rewarded back with them by it 3 or more times, but if you give bad or negative deeds and thoughts you will be hit so hard by them three times or more. Remember for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction. So it is better to give out positive energy (thoughts) and deeds. “Common Sense”! Remember in the previous article I mentioned our Rede ain harm none and do what you will.

Ever Mind The Rule Of Three Three Times Your Acts Return To Thee This Lesson Well, Thou Must Learn Thou Only Gets What Thee Dost Earn

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Summer Days

It seems that we've had a lot of scorcher days... suntans, sunburns, suntans, sunburns. Eventually, you might be one of the unlucky souls who end up with sunburn and those unsightly strap marks! They're sexy yes, but when you have to explain to your significant other how you got them, it's a different story. I'm not saying you should be sneaking out to sunbathe in your sexy eye-patched size bikini. First thing's first... realize that sun exposure is damaging to your skin. Your skin tans to prevent further sun damage. Each time you get burned, or if you're exposing yourself long-term to UV rays, you increase the risk of getting skin cancer. There are 1 million new cases each year in the United States of skin cancer (melanoma). There are 10,250 deaths each year from skin cancer in the U.S. Now that I've got your attention, please use prevention. Wear sun block and apply it several times per day if you're going to be out in the sun. What should you do now that you've gotten burned? I'm not a trained professional so don't take my advice as the end-all-be-all cure. I'll share with you what's worked for me. Once you've seen your lobstercoloured skin, get out of the sun! This means either go indoors or put on something to cover your skin (long sleeved shirt or jacket). If it's too painful to put clothes over your burn, get indoors!

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Find some place that has air conditioning. Next, get some moisturizer and apply it to the area so it doesn't start to get dry and peel. I use ice packs to keep the area cool. You can also dip yourself in the local watering hole or take a cold shower. Ice packs are better because you can leave them on without running up your water bill. Don't use harsh cleaning substances on the affected area when you shower/bathe. Baby your skin until the burn goes away, which could take several days to a couple weeks.

Now for the tricky part. Keeping your bikini-top tan lines from showing at home. If you normally walk around without a t-shirt at home, your job is a bit more difficult. You can try keeping a t-shirt on and just mention that you want to keep your burn covered to prevent it from getting injured by bumping into things. Keeping it covered and out of the sun is a good idea anyways. Sleep topless when going to bed? Not to worry... just turn the lights off or dim them and take your shirt off before slipping in bed. Always try to keep the area covered and moisturized to help your skin heal faster. Don't forget to drink lots of water, not juice, to keep yourself hydrated.

Well, good luck with things girls, and try to have fun during the summer! Don't get burned like I did the other day!

love,

Tiana
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Forgive me Father, for I have sinned ………AGAIN!!! YES!! I know I only have one waist and only two feet, but I simply HAD to have that mini (#75!!) and those OH-SO-CUTE sandals (#26!!), but is it an addiction? And, more to the point, why do nearly all TG’s suffer from it? Like I say, my particular fetish is for mini-skirts, one that will run and run, I mean, I haven’t even got a yellow one yet!! But this too is now leaking into a shoe fetish! After all, a nice mini looks nothing without the proper shoes, does it girls? For others, though, this addiction can be for bags, make-up, boots, you name it, as long as its fem. Could this be, not an addiction as such, but just an overwhelming lust to catch up on lost time? Who knows? But, for those of you who throw the bags in the back of the wardrobe and swear blind that you only went window shopping, here are a few wise words ……
What is compulsive shopping and spending? (oniomania) People who "shop 'till they drop" and run their credit cards up to the limit often have a shopping addiction. They believe that if they shop they will feel better. Compulsive shopping and spending generally makes a person feel worse. It is similar to other addictive behaviours and has some of the same characteristics as problem drinking (alcoholism), gambling and overeating addictions.

Shopping Addiction

Compulsive shopping or spending can be a seasonal balm for the depression, anxiety and loneliness during the December holiday season. It also can occur when a person feels depressed, lonely and angry. Shopping and spending will not assure more love, bolster selfesteem, or heal the hurts, regrets, stress, and the problems of daily living. It generally makes these feelings worse because of the increased financial debt the person has obtained from compulsive shopping.

How can you tell if you are a compulsive shopper? Shopoholics, when they are feeling "out of sorts, shop for a “pick-me-up." They go out and buy, to get a high, or get a "rush" just like a drug or alcohol addict. Shopping addiction tends to affect more women than men. They often buy things they do not need. Holiday seasons can trigger shopping binges among those who are not compulsive the rest of the year. Many shopping addicts go on binges all year long and may be compulsive about buying certain items, such as shoes, kitchen items or clothing; some will buy anything 52

Women with this compulsive disorder often have racks of clothes and possessions with the price tags still attached which have never been used. They will go to a shopping mall with the intention of buying one or two items and come home with bags and bags of purchases. In some cases shopololics have an emotional "black out" and do not remember even buying the articles. If their family or friends begin to complain about their purchases, they will often hide the things they buy. They are often in denial about the problem. Because they can not pay their bills their credit rating suffers, they have collection agencies attempting to get what is owed, may have legal, social and relationship problems. They sometimes attempt to hide their problem by taking on an extra job to pay for bills.

How do you control and treat this condition? It is recommended that spending addicts seek professional counselling or a self-help group to deal with this problem. Addictive behaviours tend to come in clusters, so if you have an eating disorder, a problem with drugs or alcohol, or gambling, you may be a candidate for shopping addiction. Many communities have credit counselling centres that will also help with shopoholism.

How do I prevent shopping binges?

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Pay for purchases by cash, check, debit card. Make a shopping list and only buy what is on the list. Destroy all credit cards except one to be used for emergency only. Avoid discount warehouses. Allocate only a certain amount of cash to be spent if you do visit one. "Window shop" only after stores have closed. If you do "look" during the day, leave your wallet at home. Avoid phoning in catalogue orders and don't watch TV shopping channels. If you're travelling to visit friends or relatives, have your gifts wrapped and call the project finished; people tend to make more extraneous purchases when they shop outside their own communities. Take a walk or exercise when the urge to shop comes on. If you feel out of control, you probably are. Seek counselling or a support group such as Debtors Anonymous.

So remember girls, your not alone by any means, I mean , just look at my wardrobe!!!!!

This information was brought to you by:http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/shop. html 53

IT’S AGONY!!!!
I want to share a message to all T-people! That message is hope!!! As I write this, I am taking a "world view". I ask you to think about where you've been. Has it been easy or hard. No, don't answer, I know its been hard. It is hard to understand and react to the impact of being the opposite gender identity than your body. For some, the discovery takes a long time as they try to honor their parents and the dictates of society. They fool themselves that they are strong enough to live as society demands and deny their true selves. Or, they are forced by parents, or siblings, or friends to be their birth gender and taught to take on those traits. Oh, they can last for a time, some longer than others depending on will power, until the "mass" of the difference becomes too painful-leigh obvious in their minds. And, as age creeps along, how long can one live a life without "happiness"? For, can one be tru-leigh happy in this circumstance? The framers of the US Constitution said that we have rights. They got a sense of those rights from the traditions encoded in the long experience that it took to develop the English common law. We are told, here, that we have a right of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". I hope this country(the USA) wakes up to that call, soon. It is, now, quite fragmented. The forces of those who believe that is it their duty to manage the lives of others have grown in the last 2 decades. The "huddled masses, yearning to be free", have acquiesced to fabrications, false definitions, and those who claim to have the authority of God, to deny others their happiness.

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But, through it all, I, for one, have found the stirrings of hope!!! I have only started to recognize my true self in the last 3 years, after 50 years of denial. There was always a sense of shame, to me, in being "weaker" than the normal population that didn't have to suppress this distinction of what I am. I thought I was alone, or in a tremendous-leigh small minority of "disabled" people. I dared not admit, even to myself, that I was "handicapped", so I told no one. I hid my secret and my shame. There was never any information to tell me its OK. Oh, I heard of Rene Richards and the others, most-leigh portrayed as jokes, and of the drag queens and female impersonators, but that was all there was. Over the many years, I had driven my life, career, and marriage into a state of perpetual depression that required a solution. Suicide was going to be my OUT! But, I was a coward. Yes, I couldn't do it. My family was too important to me. So, I was going to tough it out. That was then. This is now, In the last 3 years, I realized that I am not alone. The internet did that!!!! <said with wonder> Yes, I went through counselling, but only to try to find a way to continue to suppress the real me. But, when I found the site URnot alone, the breath of life was given to me once again. I found a friend, expanded my contacts, and told my immediate family. I began to make and buy clothes that I would keep, this time. Because of the aftermath of my life before these discoveries, I lost that marriage, but not the friendship of the most important woman in my life and the wonderful kids we had. And, I have been to events in Chicago with my new friends. I have enjoyed a Halloween weekend, a Christmas Banquet, and most recent-leigh the Be All, TG conference. I have, now, read of T people and their struggles all over the world, and successes and failures of all kinds. But, WE ARE NOT ALONE!! That is the message of hope!!! The new "lore" of T-people is being written everywhere. This magazine, Narcisse, is a strong step in that lore. We know about and celebrate our "kind" in films, in public office, in the news, on TV shows. Sure it's still a rarity, but its a start, and it's growing. We have reached an understanding of numbers that indicate hundreds of thousands of us. Anyone, who has gotten on the internet and googled TG, has found a hatchway
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into our underground. As we all exand our contacts and get to know more and more of our sisters and brothers, we will prosper. Maybe not economical-leigh, for that is a longer struggle, but to "know thyself!". The underground will eventual-leigh explode into the awareness of the general population. It's still creeping, now. Do I, for one minute, think that this can be stopped, no matter how hard the Philistines try? Nope. We have reached critical mass. The chain reaction will spread. We know each other exist and that is true power!! I would label that power HEALTH! We, now, know we are not sick. We are a natural phenomonen. It is not sex, with any "perversions"! It is IDENTITY! And we have a right to pursue happiness! Mandy did it when she attended Sparkle with others like her. Many of us did it when we went to a Pride function. We do it every time we can become our true identity. We can go shopping and buy things. I have waltzed into a corner drug store, en femme, and bought make up, and other things. I felt proud to be able to do it. It was a statement of my courage. A courage that comes from knowing that you are not "wrong", diseased, or defficient in any way. I AM HEALTHY. The glow of health shows through. Sure, we all have to be careful and select our trips, because there are still those who would violent-leigh supress us, or try to cheapen us, verbal-leigh. But, that we can make those trips is a cause for hope. That I can talk to you, is a cause for hope. That you can read this is a cause for hope!!! And, now, I share this hope with you. Keep learning! Keep doing! Keep expanding your knowledge and base of friends. Add me to your list. I avow to you that I have found something of inestimable value. And it is hope!!! I hope you can feel it too. <cheerleading.... "2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, 8 bits, 10 bits.... what IS a "bit", anyway?!?!? - giggles>

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ACROSS

GOLDEN
POND
Mid summer in the "Great Northeast" part of the US of A. Heading into the "dog days" of summer. What does that mean? Dog days? I never knew. Certainly for the dog it makes no difference at all. He sleeps most of the days away whether its 90 degrees outside or 20. Apologies to all you folks in Yurrup, we still use the old Fahrenheit scale here and I never did get the hang of the metric system. What is that? 20 degrees centimeter outside and I live 2,000 Celsius from Yurrup or the other way around? Am I 170 pounds sterling or some number of stone? Or am I just stoned? (Actually I do know the correct terms, don’t write Mandy letters about what a dumb blonde American she has on staff.) Having said all that nonsense, the plain and simple truth is that Mandy needs a column and there is so very little happening this time of year that I’ve been at a loss to know what to say. Almost nothing is happening on the political front at least as far as TG issues are concerned. The New York Legislature pretty much goes home for the summer. Not that they do anything when they are in session, but at least someone is sitting in chambers and it looks like they’re working. There’s a wonderful line in the musical "1776" where the President of the Continental Congress, John Hancock, in a fit of frustration at the New York delegation’s continued abstaining from every vote asks "Why does New York constantly abstain? What in the hell goes on up there?" The New York delegate answers, "Have you ever been present at a meeting of the New York Legislature? They speak very fast and very loud and nobody pays any attention to anybody else, with the result that nothing ever gets done." Nothing, it appears, has changed in 230 years. Locally, there are lots of TG events all year and in summer they change a bit but continue. Our dear friend Rhea Daniels hosts Rhea’s Café this Thursday evening as she does the last Thursday of each month. Recently, we have been honored to have been adopted by a lovely young lady, A genetic girl, named Christa Stroud who is a Mary Kay cosmetics representative. She has kindly opened her studio for us to hold that café and offers make up advice and help as well as supplies. Christa is a dear dear person and so very supportive of the TG community. Many thanks to her for her generosity. Coming up in August there will be, of course the monthly meeting of Schenectady Gender Alternative. The transperson support and social group

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which meets on the third Saturday of the month at a delightful jazz club called "Yours". The owner there, Joe, is very supportive to us as well. Those gatherings usually get started around 7pm. Anyone reading this who might live nearby or be in the area and wants more information on these meetings, just let me know. I will be happy to provide any information you need. My address is in the members list. Several of us have gone to the movies and dinner in the general public and have been treated like the ladies we present ourselves as. This reinforces my belief that if you act like you belong and deport your self with style and class, you will be treated like a lady. There are of course always those who will make an issue of everything, but those folks will do that no matter how you’re presenting yourself so I discount that, and them. This past Saturday was one such evening when a bunch of girls went out. I was, unfortunately tied up (No Mandy, not with ropes. Sheesh! I had a prior commitment) and couldn’t make it. I have not heard how the evening went as yet but I’m sure everyone had a great time. By the way, one of the girls who is very active locally and the one who called the impromptu movie night is a girl named Stephany. This lady makes jewelry and sells her own creations and lots of antique and vintage jewelry through her website. Beautiful stuff, you girls should pay her a visit. www.earringgarden.com Some of us got together for a little cookout at the lakeside cottage of my dear friend Josephine, last week. We all brought a dish to share and spent a perfectly lovely day gabbing and drinking wine. Had the temp been a little more degrees of Celsius or centimeter or hogsbreath (- whatever term you line) we all had bathing suits and would have been in the lake as well. Unfortunately no one thought to bring a camera. Drat. And I had such a lovely sun dress on that day. Oh well. What’s coming up in the future? Well, there’s an event we all want to attend in November called "The Erie Gala" held in Erie, Pennsylvania. I heard that last year there were so many girls there they took over the entire hotel. It’s a lot like Sparkles except there will be no Mandy Taylor. Unless someone wants to post her the airfare. Anyone want to ship Mandy out of the country for a week? So far it appears that I will be going. More on that as the situation develops. For right now though, I must sign off and start doing some home improvement. Woodwork to paint and grass to cut. Short column this month but that’s what happens when nothing happens. But I do have a short story in here somewhere, if our esteemed editor hasn’t chucked it in the dustbin. See? You don’t get off that easy. See you all next month Lisa

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COMING IN SEPTEMBER

V i c t o r i a n

T i m e s
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WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT

SHORT STORY

“Those are my panties bitch!”
Words by Bert Garner Peter quickly rushed up stairs as he heard his wife’s door keys tickle the lock in the front door. Gasping for breath he quickly removed the silk bra he had borrowed from his wife’s top draw but forgetting to replace the matching panties. Peter swiped his jeans and T-shirt from the bed and headed for the bathroom. After a brief time has passed he emerged fully dress in male mode with beads of sweat pouring from his brow. He greeted his wife and made her a drink. While he was in the kitchen preparing dinner he realised he was still wearing the silk panties, which were now underneath his jeans. A feeling of terror came over him and his wife’s voice became a muffled, unidentifiable noise in the background. Next he felt her hot breath on the back of his neck and her hands reach for his crotch. His heart began to pound harder and he gasped as she slowly undid his jeans. She saw the silk panties and glared at him with a disapproved expression on her face. His hard cock twitched with approval at her disgust. His heart began to pound faster as he realised the situation before him. “Since you like wearing my panties so much I’m going to teach you a lesson you dirty little whore!”
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She led him up stairs to their bedroom. Peter sat on the bed while his wife produced a black carrier bag out of the wardrobe. She flashed him an evil smile as she placed her hand inside the bag. Fear came over his face as the dark object emerged from the bag. He knew what it was for and he knew what to do. She lovingly caressed his back passage with two lubed fingers. When he was gapping, moist and throbbing she put the special pants on him, making sure the solid dildo was firmly inside him. She began to apply makeup to his face. She then produced a box that contained a long brunette wig made of human hair. She secured it on his head and next she went to her top draw and put the matching silk bra back on him that he had worn before. “What a pretty girl you are”, she began to fondle his nipples and he gave a dull whimper. His anus throbbed around the solid rubber dildo in response to his whimper. She walked back over to her wardrobe and came back with a pair of heels and a mini dress. He stood up and she helped him into the mini dress. He saw the satisfaction in her smile as she leered over him in his sexy outfit. His throat was dry, he couldn’t speak but his hard cock still twitched. “Your name is Lucy, do you understand little slut?” His eyes filled with tears as he nodded in response to her request. She took his hand and led him down the stairs into the hallway
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“Since you like being a girl so much that is what you shall be.” She opened the front door. Peter had to stop himself from gasping. The prospect of going outside as a girl in public was terrifying. His palms began to sweat and he wanted to faint. He wanted to beg her not to make him go outside as a girl. His fear had made his anus tighter around the dildo in his special knickers. He wanted to orgasm. She took his hand and led him out to the parked car in the driveway. She was impressed how well he could walk in heels. Little did she know he had had lots of practice. “W-w-w-w where are we going” he begged but she didn’t respond. He tried to relax and enjoy the vibrations being produced by the dildo in his special knickers as they both speeded down the road. He could feel his cock getting wetter. He suddenly realised they were in the middle of town pulling into a busy car park. His whole body became so moist with his own perspiration that it became almost unbearable for him. “Get out” she said. He was too paralysed by his own fear that he couldn’t move. She placed her hand on his stocking knee and began to stroke his leg, slowly moving up to his hard throbbing wet cock. She gently ran her fingers over it and felt it throb with her every touch. His eyes rolled back and he moaned in response to her loving touch. She gently kissed him on the lips and looked lovingly in her husband’s eyes. She then exited the car and he followed. He entered the high street, arm in arm with his mistress. His eyes kept fixed on the ground as they walked past the crowds of people. The dildo began to ache though the movement of walking in heels. His nipples and cock were still stood to attention, desperately waiting to be kissed and touched.

While browsing in a clothes shop she took him into the women’s changing rooms. In the cubical she ordered him to spread his legs. She slowly removed the special knickers. His gaping hole began to throb as she removed the solid dildo from his anus. While she did this he glanced at his reflection in the large mirror of the changing room. He saw a beautiful brunette woman staring back at him. He couldn’t hold back any longer the pleasure at seeing his refection made him cum. He bit his bottom lip, tears of pleasure flooded from his eyes, his whole body began to shudder in ecstasy while his cock pumped blobs of thick salty semen on to the floor. He searched for his wife’s body and held her close. They both collapsed and snuggled on the hard carpeted floor. Looking lovingly into each other’s eyes Peter whispered “Mistress please teach me to be a girl more often.”

“Why does grated cheese always taste better than sliced? “

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QUIZ ANSWERS
For Issue 8 July 2006

Connections
Jennifer Aniston to Seether
Jim Carey Batman Family Guy Seth Green Buffy The Vampire Slayer Donald Sutherland Kiefer Sutherland Colin Farrel Daredevil Amy Lee !!

Nicholas Cage to Jennifer Saunders
Ghost Rider X-men Vinny Jones Mean Machine Jason Stratham The Italian Job Michael Cain Austin Powers James Bond John Cleese Shrek!!!

Brainteasers
How can anyone predict an event 300 years later? A Decimal Point Tammi

Picture Round
Dynomutt Muttley Bengo the Boxer pup Rin tin tin Huckleberry Hound Snoopy Droopy Odie Nipper

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Conversion Tables
SHOES
Centimetres 22.8 23.3 23.7 24.6 25.1 25 25.4 25.8 26.3 26.7 27.1 27.5 28 28.4 28.8 29.2 29.6 9 9 9 9 9 10 10 10 10 11 11 11 11 Inches 9 10 10½ 11 1/6 1/3 1/2 2/3 5/6 1/6 1/3 2/3 5/6 1/6 1/3 ½ 2/3 US / 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 12½ 13 Canada Mens US / Canada 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 12½ 13 13½ 14 Womens ** Japanese 23 23½ 24 24½ 25 25½ 26 26½ 27 27½ 28 28½ 29 29½ 30 30½ 31 European 37 37½ 38 39 39½ 40 40½ 41 42 42½ 43 44 44½ 45 46 46½ 47 UK Mens 4 4½ 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 UK Womens 4 4½ 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 Australian 4 4½ 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 Mens Australian 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 12½ 13 13½ 14 Womens

Conversion of Women’s Clothing Sizes
US 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 US Named X – Small X – Small/Small Small Medium Medium Large Large/X – Large X – Large/1X 1X/2X 2X 3X 3X UK 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 FR 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 50 52 54 56 GER 30 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48 50 52 ITA 36 38 40 42 44 46 48 50 52 54 56 58 AUS 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 JAP 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 23 25 27

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Size Conversions, Tops and Dresses
Men's Sizes, Shirt, Pants Medium Shirt, 29-30" waist. Medium shirt, 32-34 waist 44 Jacket, 36" waist, 30" length Blouse/Dress Size Ladies12 Ladies 14, also Ladies Large Ladies 14 (tight) or 16, Ladies Large

40 Jacket, 32" waist (28" clincher) Ladies 10 or 12 Skirt, Ladies 14 top, dress

Large Shirts, 36" waist, 30" length Ladies 20 top, 20 or 18T dress, XL, 18W Large Shirts, 37" waist, 30" length Ladies 18T, L, 18W XL Shirts, 44" waist, 30" length Ladies 24W

Size Conversions, Shoes
Men's Sizes 8W - 8.5M 9.5 9M ? 10 10.5 EE 11D Women's Sizes 9W - 10N 10W-11 10W-11W 10-11 11W 12 W-12 WW 12W-13

Size Conversions, Skirts and Pants
Size Measurements Size Waist Hips Small Small Medium Medium Large Large X Large X Large X Large 2XL 2XL 3XL 3XL 28 30 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48 50 52 34 36 38 40 42 44 45.75 47.25 48.75 50.25 51.75 53.25 54.75 Measurements: Skirts/Pants Sizes Bust Waist Hips 35.25-36 36.25-37 37.25-38.5 38.75-40 40.25-4.5 41.75-43.5 26.24-27 27.25-28 28.25-29.5 29.75-31 31.25-32.5 32.75-34.5 36.75-37.50 37.75-38.5 38.75-40 40.25-41.5 41.75-43 43.25-45

Size 8 10 12 14 16 18

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BORN TO
We all love to shop, but as we all know , from personal experience, some are…er…friendlier than others. Here’s a few of the better ones, as recommended by you.

This is my own personal recommendation. The girls the Notting Hill branch were superb. They couldn’t be friendlier, more welcoming, and professional too. They have a fantastic range of wigs of all lengths , colours and prices , and I can not recommend this branch of stores enough Open till 6, by appointment – latest 5 o’clock http://www.trendco.co.uk/default.aspx 1) The Casket store: http://www.casketfurniture.com/caskets_coffins.php A unique store offering casket shaped furniture for the gothic’s 2) The Baroness: Ok rubber and latex fetish store I have seen better and more but the craftsman-ship looks good and styles are their own http://www.baroness.com/RubberClothes.htm 3) JT's Stockroom offers a wide range of fetish things from bondage beds to fetish toys, not a gigantic selection but enough to satisfy the novice and beginner. http://www.stockroom.com/search/search.aspx?i=20&search=furniture 4) Lydia’s offers a ok selection of transgender and cross-dressing items again not a wide selection but a ok one for the beginner and part time. http://lydiastv.com/osb/showitem.cfm/Category/12 5)Corset Connection: Offers a very wide selection for all types of corsets everything from waist training to under-bust and to men to woman training corsets, and for those who never have laced their own corsets they offer a online training film for corset lacing A+. http://www.corsetconnection.com/Images/Vintage%20Glam/v1117.jpg 6) Xtrax, I love this store humungus selection for the naughty little Goth Girls and boys a wide wide selection for everything A+. http://www.x-tra-x.de/english/bilder/heads-os/angebot-1.jpg 7) Extreme Restraint is a awesome store I cant wait to order from them they have everything and anything from sex machines to the simplest anal plug. http://www.extremerestraints.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/ec715%20lg.jpg

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Born to

SHOP
“ Hi Mandy, I have a review for you, Wigsrus ltd in Southport. Recently been there for a new style they are great. Hugs Julie Hi Ladies, After asking around for some advice on wigs I plucked up the courage to go and try a new style and I decided to have it fitted. I took the advise of an Angel and looked up www.wigsrusltd.com at Southport. This meant going out en femme for the first time and having a stranger see me as Julie. I made an appointment with Jennie and ventured out into the world as Julie. Jennie is a fantastic understanding lady; she puts you at ease straight away. All appointments are one to one and you can try as many styles on as you like. Jennie will give you advise on styles and colour. After you have chosen your new hair, Jennie will do the final styling and trim if required. The service was excellent and Jennie was wonderful, highly recommended. I felt so good and confident With my new style I had a walk around Southport, then decided to drive over to the Trafford centre and had a walk around the shops not bad for my first day out.“ Hugs Julie “ www.frillys.co.uk is a friendly dressing service in Droylsden a town about 4miles from the centre and gay village in Manchester. The owner is called Julie and she now offers self catering accommodation above her shop. HOTELS- I use Travelodge and the special offers of £10 & £26 a night per room are great value. I have never had any problems at these hotels. The only problem I have had at an hotel was at a gay hotel in Torquay where I got a really frosty welcome to say the least. MAKEUP- I don't use Dermablend because it is expensive and difficult to apply so I use a Boots No17 cover stick or a Rimmel cover stick both are on sale at about £2.50. “ Raquel Hi Mandy! I order make-up from http://www.blushedcosmetics.co.uk/ . They are very reliable and discreet with their deliveries even to Holland. And you know the all in price straight away, no need to email asking for price of postage. And they have a 50p and GBP1.00 corner! Kirsty

Contact us on: Tel: +44 1376 322209 or Mobile: +44 7887 723239 Email your general enquiries to: custsupport@EpilationServices.com Email your website enquiries to: webmistress@EpilationServices.com

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Here at the Amazing Costume Company we stock over 3000 costumes for hire and sell a wide variety of fancy dress and theatrical accessories. Whatever you need to make your party a success - you will find it here! We are a business that has built a strong reputation based on efficiency, professionalism and style. We provide a one-stop resource for all your requirements so that organising parties and events need not be stressful or time-consuming. Where appropriate, all our costumes come with accessories to help you complete the character such as wigs, boots, hats, jewellery and weapons which is all within the price quoted. To the left are some of the things we have available, there are far too many to list so if you don’t see what your looking for. or wish to hire, please contact us on 020 8859 7747 or visit our shop in Sidcup. As well as our diverse selection of costumes we have to offer we are also well known for our genuine 2nd World War uniforms as well as our superb Medieval costumes, perfect for weddings, banquets & functions.

Proprietor Mr J Griffin Amazing Costume Company 745 Sidcup Road New Eltham London SE9 3SA Tel: 020 8859 7747 email:amazingcostume@aol.com Web site: www.amazingcostume.co.uk 67

“ And now, The end is near …..”
Well folks, here we are again, August already! For those of us with children it is a time for day-trips, picnics..Playstations … arguments……….money……. as-near-to-murder-as-is-humanlypossible-without-ACTUALLY-doing-it!!! Yup, you guessed it, School holidays! What joy! Things could be worse, there could be a general strike at Jimmy Choo’s, but that doesn’t bear thinking about (shudder). So, did you like it? Hope so, there are some very talented writers amongst us, but, as usual, WE NEED MORE!! Believe it or not, we seem to be doing a good job…YES…I know!!, Lil old us! Plenty of people are writing, telling me how much they like your work, so keep it up girls and boys! What we do need though are a more diverse group of you, as you see this month, we had writers from the UK, US and Hungary, very good, but what of the rest of the world? The rest of Europe, Africa, the Far East, Australasia? How can you expect to have a voice if you never use it? What I’d ideally like is a permanent writer from each continent, so that we can get a very clear and common bond between us all, plus the fact that I am EXTREMELY nosey and want to hear all the gossip! WELL!!! At least I’m honest hehehe

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So come on, GUY’S as well as girls, let’s get this show on the road. What Narcisse also needs are story writers, as you can see this month, we have one, but alas, the author can’t make it a regular thing, and a good cartoonist would be fantastic too. What we may be able to do is a set of pics to go with your story, just a thought, let’s see where this goes, OK? (Don’t ask for much do I? giggle) Don’t forget though, this magazine is YOURS, you write it , you read it, so if you have something to say , SAY IT!! Alas, last month I asked for your help in trying to raise funds/software to make Narcisse bigger, better & brighter. Some of you were fantastic, pledging money and software, but, alas, the amounts just weren’t enough, so I’m afraid we are stuck as we are for the time being. I will be in touch personally with the kind donors of money to return what they gave, THANK-YOU all for your valiant efforts. Xxxxxx Next month I will be beginning to select pictures to go into the Lilboutique CALENDAR,, if you have any favourites that you think should appear, then please let me know. The calendar will be a glossy 13 pages, each page showing a different picture, there will be a standard calendar, with the pictures chosen by you in a poll, retailing at £15/$30(Approx), or for £20/$40(Approx) you can choose your own personalised calendar, with your own choice of my pics for each month! I may even be able to do a “special” just for your birthday month, if you ask nicely …. Hehehe If you would like to pre-book NOW , then please do, just write to my usual address and I can give you the payment details, etc. Hope you all have a fantastic August, see you all on the flip side! Hugs and Kisses

Mandy xxx
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Next month!
Lady Heather’s Victorian Times Smart Suit Competition Chocoholics dream! Grease Special!! And more features than you can shake a stick at!!!
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ISSUE 9 AUG 2006

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