MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT

Name ____________________________________________ Date ________________

(Answer all questions with a Yes, No, or Maybe.)

__________ 1. I love my mate.

__________ 2. My mate loves me.
__________ 3. I am in love with my mate.
__________ 4. My mate is in love with me.
__________ 5. I like the way we resolve conflicts.
__________ 6. I enjoy being with my mate.
__________ 7. Our sex life is fulfilling to me.
_________ 8. Our sex life is fulfilling to my mate.
__________ 9. We have good conversation in our marriage.
__________ 10. We enjoy doing things together.
__________ 11. I am romantic and affectionate with my mate.
__________ 12. My mate is romantic and affectionate with me.
__________ 13.
__________ 14. I am concerned about my temper.
__________ 15. I feel my mate tries to control me.
__________ 16. I feel disrespected by my mate.
__________ 17. I am disrespectful to my mate.
__________ 18. I am open and honest with my mate.
__________ 19. My mate is honest and open with me.
__________ 20. We have a problem with communication.
__________ 21. It is hard for me to share my feelings.
__________ 22. I feel used and abused by my mate.
__________ 23. My mate has hit me in the past.
__________ 24. I have hit my mate in the past.
__________ 25. My mate makes me feel responsible for our problems.
__________ 26. I wish my mate were more careful about spending.
__________ 27. My mate is too busy and I feel neglected.
__________ 28. I worry about my mate having an affair.
__________ 29. I am happy with the way our children are being raised.
__________ 30. We agree most of the time on how to discipline the children.
__________ 31. My in-laws are a problem in our marriage.
__________ 32. My parents are a problem in our marriage.
__________ 33. Roles over household duties are a problem.
__________ 34. We share common spiritual beliefs.
__________ 35. We attend church together.
__________ 36. We pray together.
__________ 37. I feel a need for deeper communication on an emotional level.
__________ 38. I feel that I really know my mate.
__________ 39. I feel that my mate really knows the real me.
__________ 40. I am emotionally numb and hurt from our arguments.

Copyright Bill Yeary 2000. All rights Reserved.

37
 MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT OF SIMILARITIES/DIFFERENCES

Name: _____________________________________________Date: ________________

Circle the one that best fits you.
1. Strong-willed Yielding
2. Practical Idealistic
3. Disciplined Impulsive
4. Extrovert Introvert
5. Systematic Spontaneous
6. Project person Relationship oriented
7. Likes a crowd Need time alone
8. Early bird Night owl
9. Leader Follower
10. Punctual Often late
11. Serious Humorous
12. Loud Quiet
13. Doer Waits
14. Quick thinker Slow with decisions
15. Firm Soft
16. Optimistic Pessimistic
17. In a hurry Laid back
18. Confident Hesitant
19. Analytical Impulsive
20. Thinker Feeler

ASSESSMENT OF NEEDS
Number your needs in order of priority. Indicate your current level of satisfaction in each
need on a scale of 1 10, with 10 being the highest rating. This assessment may also
be used to see how well you know your mate and how well you think you are meeting

Priority Level of Satisfaction

Him Her Him Her
_______ _______ Sexual fulfillment _______ _______
_______ _______ Affection/Intimacy _______ _______
_______ _______ Admiration/Respect _______ _______
_______ _______ To be cherished and desired _______ _______
_______ _______ Family togetherness _______ _______
_______ _______ Honesty and openness _______ _______
_______ _______ Financial stability _______ _______
_______ _______ Attractive spouse _______ _______
_______ _______ Recreational companionship _______ _______
_______ _______ Conversation and sharing _______ _______
_______ _______ Encouragement and affirmation _______ _______
_______ _______ Home Orderliness _______ _______

Copyright Bill Yeary 2000. All rights Reserved.

38
 MARRIAGE TIPS
1. Never go to sleep angry at each other.
2. Divorce is not a part of your vocabulary.
3. Those that pray together, stay together.
4. Go on a date regularly. When you stop dating, you stop mating.
5. Communicate your needs to your mate.
6. Make at least one mealtime of the day for family discussions.
7.
8. Ask feeling questions if you want feelings expressed.
9.
10. e heat of the moment.
11.
12. Let your children see your affection and friendship.
13.
14.
27:7).
15. Wives,
(Prov.27:7).
16.
to feel loved.
17. Sexually he is a microwave while she is a crockpot.
18. Give your spouse what they need, not what you need.
19.
your mother.
20. Wives, if you diminish his leadership, who will you follow? God speaks to the
husbands first.
21. Marriage is like a garden; if you tend it, it will grow.
22. Little changes in you can lead to huge changes in the relationship.
23.
differences are handled when they arise.
24. Men and women fight using different weapons but suffer similar wounds.
25. Partners need to practice relationship skills in order to become good at them.
26. Know the difference between hearing and listening.
27. Do not give into pride, learn to say you are sorry.
28.
nature tends to BLAME.
29. Concentrate on points, which permit agreement, not argument.
30.
wrong.

Copyright Bill Yeary 2000. All rights Reserved.

39
 HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS TO STRENGTHEN A MARRIAGE

Homework Assignment One

Read with your spouse the following verses:
Gen. 2:18, 21-25 Eph. 5:21-33
Deut. 24:5 Phil. 2:3-4
Eccl. 9:9 Col. 3:18-19
Amos 3:3 I Tim. 2:8-15
Malachi 2:14 I Thes. 2:11
Prov. 5:15-20; 12:4; 18:22; 19:14; 31 Heb. 13:4
Matt. 12:25 I Peter 3:1-12
I Cor. 7:1-5; 11:1-16; 13

Homework Assignment Two

Spend some time talking about:
1. What God is doing in your life.
2. What God is speaking to you.
3. Your desires, dreams, wants.
4. Your cares, concerns.
5. Your feelings and what you think about often.
6. The harmony of your home and the nurturing of your children.
7. Where you want to be next year; in 5 years.
Homework Assignment Three
Spend some time praying together. Cover the following areas:
1. Your commitments to God, spouse, children, responsibilities.
2. Your marriage and home life.
3.
4. Your family, friends, enemies, church.
Homework Assignment Four
Ponder the following questions:
1. My spouse usually experiences a good feeling whenever
they think about me.
2. My spouse enjoys being with me more than anyone else.
3. My spouse is easily sexually aroused by me.
4. My spouse finds me physically attractive.
5. My spouse would be very upset to lose my companionship.
6. My spouse enjoys talking to me.
7.
8.
9. I bring out the best in my spouse.
10. I enjoy doing things for my spouse.
Plan and have a romantic evening together.
Copyright Bill Yeary 2000. All rights Reserved.
40
MARRIAGE WORKSHEET FOR HUSBAND

1. MY SCRIPTURES
Psalms 27:13-14
Ephesians 5:33
Ephesians 4:26
Ephesians 4:31-32
Philippians 4:13

2. MY ROLE
To protect, nurture, cherish, and honor my wife as
I would myself.
To be her friend, companion, and affectionate lover.

3. MY FOCUS
To be obedient and please God.

4. MY PRAYERS
Please heal my heart and remove the pain of the past.
Give me the grace to let go of bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness.
Give me the grace to trust my wife with my heart.
Please love my wife through me today.

5. APPLICATION
One way I can make my wife feel honored in public this week.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

One way I can make my wife feel cared for this week.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

One way I can make my wife feel cherished this week.

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Copyright Bill Yeary 2000. All rights Reserved.

41
MARRIAGE WORKSHEET FOR WIFE

1. MY SCRIPTURES
Psalms 27:13-14
Ephesians 5:33
Ephesians 4:26
Ephesians 4:31-32
Philippians 4:13

2. MY ROLE
To respect, support, encourage, and honor my husband
as I would myself.
To be his friend, companion, and lover.

3. MY FOCUS
To be obedient and please God.

4. MY PRAYERS
Please heal my heart and remove the pain of the past.
Give me the grace to let go of bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness.
Give me the grace to trust my husband with my heart.
Please love my husband through me today.

5. APPLICATION
One way I can make my husband feel honored in public this week.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

One way I can make my husband feel respected this week.

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

One way I can encourage my husband this week.

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Copyright Bill Yeary 2000. All rights Reserved.

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