Darato, Perlie Cris B.

English 104

Emilio

Its staring at me. It doesnt have eyes but I can tell by the way its slouching at
the chair that its staring at me.

Ever since Emilio had dropped out during the midterms, that shadow figure had
been entering this classroom like its one of the students and had totally assumed the
seat of my twin brother. It enters as we do and leaves as we do, sometimes, in the
corner of my eye I would see it move and take on its slouching position, just staring at
me. The first time, I saw it, I was high on drugs and thought my mind was playing tricks
on me. The next day, it was sitting there again with that look as if it was waiting for me
to come. Nobody else seemed to notice it so I tried the best I can to keep quiet about
it as I already have lots of other damn things in life to focus on.

Emilio left about two months ago.

Daddy said he went with that stupid Japanese girl he met on a dating site with
the plan of settling down, never to come back. I hated him for that but I miss him more
than I ever could. As twins, weve been really closed and had done things like we were
one person until he started dating and I, on the other hand, feeling left all alone
started drugs.

Tasha also left about two months ago.

She was our 18 years old, younger sister. Young, pretty, adored by everyone, and
completely the opposite of my timid personality. We would often sing or paint when no
one is around and Emilio would sneer at us saying that Tasha and I should be the twins.
Daddy says she left a letter stating that she wants to follow her dreams and become a
painter which my father forcefully opposed. Thats probably why she left but my
mother thinks otherwise. Ever since Tasha left, she kept confronting Daddy about it.
Every day I would come home to their routine fighting and this day was no different.

What? What did I do? Im hurting here too I miss her too Sam. I--

You know as well as I do what I mean! You--! You! How could you do this? How
could you?!

My mother will slump on the floor then my father will try to hug her but shell just
shove him away again.
 Bring back my baby! Bring her back! Bring her back! God.

Mom will cry the whole day. I will try to comfort her but shell look at me as if Im
the one who caused all this. This time, she slapped me when I tried to hug her. I ran up
my room holding my cheeks, locked myself and cried my heart out. Why would they
want to leave me alone? Couldnt they just have taken me with them? If I knew it
would be this hard, I should never had a brother or sister! I hate them! I hate them.

I wanted to kill myself.

I was preparing my mind for what I was about to do. I was planning to jump out
the window. Its the easiest way to end everything since I dont have any rope or
poison to drink. Besides, the idea of falling, letting everything go had always fascinated
me. As I raised the window up, I stoppedI was horrified. That same shadow I saw at
the university was there. It was standing on our yard and I was pretty sure that it was
looking up. Looking up at me! I was too scared to move. I didnt want to look away,
thinking that if I let it out of my sight, it would be standing beside me next. We looked at
each other for what felt like hours, sweat running down my temples. Suddenly, it
dropped its sight.

It pointed towards our old storehouse.

Then it was gone. I was very nervous, but I slowly looked around, my breath
caught in my throat I was alone. I dropped to my knees, shivering, crying, and
sobbing like a baby. What was that? What- what have I done to deserve this god!
What?! Help me! Someone please please help me help. I continued to cry
until I can calm myself.

The storehouse used to be daddys play house. Carving was his hobby. When
hes free he would often take Emilio with him to cut down some fallen trees and bring it
back in the storehouse to carve them into different pieces of art. It was a wide enough
to store all his arts and logs but messy enough to not trigger my interest so I never went
there.

Light was coming out from the storehouse.

I noticed that as I approached. From the back of the house, one cannot
determine whether someone is inside since the doors are facing the opposite way. It
was an effort to continue but curiosity took the best of me. Someone was crying inside
and I can hear a soft whimper that sounds like a dying animal. I can hear my own heart
pounding in my ears but I knew I cant turn back now. I started to peep at one of the
holes near the door.
 Daddy was on the floor bending, murmuring while holding a bloodied knife. He
was crying in front of Golmer, our dog. My heart throbbed like a thunder. Golmer was
mewling as blood oozed out from the slit in his throat.

Im sorry Im sorry hahhhhh Im sorry.

His face was a sketch of morbid grief that even I started to cry silently. Then he
gave Golmer one last thrust while he held its head. The dog jerked for a few seconds
then it became still. Then he dropped on his back, covering his face and started to sob
violently.

I ran.

I ran back to the house. Back to my room. Back to my bed. Back to safety. I
never ran so fast in my whole life. I just stared at the wall the whole night. Drifting back
and forth from sleep. Hell kill me next he killed Tasha. Probably he killed Emilio too. He
killed Golmer. Hell kill mother then hell kill me next. Hell kill me next hell-- I cried and
I cried and I cried then I laughed. It was funny how this day was filled with crying. If I
ever survived this night I promised myself I will never cry again.

Dont cry.

It was here again. The shadow. This time, I will not be scared I told myself. My
insides was turning from fear and sweat combined with tears covered my face but I
held my stare. What more worst can happen? If Ill dietoday, might as well, face it
boldly.

Dont cry. He wont hurt you.

The voice came from my head. Almost like my mind was reading it.

What -- who are you?

No answer.

Then it started to walk towards me. I closed my eyes. I knew it was the end. I
started to sob again. Then I felt a touch. A hand cupped in my cheeks. It was warm.

--3 years passed--

I smelled bacon and eggs as I started to rouse that morning. Emilio was
standing at the end of the bed.
 You should eat now. Hes cooking for you.

Yeah I know. Did you wake me?

Yes.

Thanks.

Daddy was cooking downstairs and I can hear the television playing. Its been
three years since mom left us. I heard that shes under probation after being caught of
drug trafficking. Its just the two of us now plus the shadow. I just dont care anymore. I
stopped caring about lots of things. I believe my heart died with my siblings.

The shadow, now, I call Emilio had been my constant company. Everything
about him reminded me of Emilio. I even believe that its really him. He never answered
that question when I asked him about it. Without him. I wouldnt have survived another
day since I learned the truth. I tried killing myself that day and the next days but he
would stop me and talked to me every time. He never left me ever since that day.

He was busy preparing the tables.

I didnt even look at him as I sat down. Emilio was standing near me. Daddy
cant see him. No one can, I guess.

Bacon and egg. Youre favourite, honey. Im sorry I cant buy pancakes. The
shops been dull lately.

I ignored him as I started eating. He quit his job after mom left us and supported
our daily lives through selling his artworks. Hes been extremely caring ever since. I hate
you.

He filled my cup with milk and I scowled at him.

Really? Milk? Do I still look like a baby to you? I said as I pushed back the cup.

Come on Christine, youre still my baby daughter. Im sorry things had been
difficu

Just stop. Youre grossing me out, I told him as I got up and took my bag.

Honey, youre not eating? Honey.

Not hungry.
 Okay. Take ca

I slammed the door shut before he can even finish his sentence. I didnt want to
look at those sad, pleading eyes. I know its a lie. Hell kill you someday. Dont let your
guard down. Hell kill you like what he did to Tasha and Emilio. I glanced at Emilio as I
walked towards the shop where I work as a book keeper. I felt sadness from him.

Dont worry, I told him. Ive almost saved up. Few more days and we can live
that house.

It will not be a good idea. It will hurt your father.

What about it? That scum deserves pain. I will never forget what he did. He
ruined my life. He ruined everything.

Emilio was silent the whole day.

After a few weeks, I was finally able to save enough money to transfer to another
place. It was small but I would take anything just to get away from that man. Emilio
pleaded not to go. I told him Ill go anyway with or without him so he came with me. My
father sobbed and begged me not to go.

Please, he cried, rubbing his hands together while kneeling in front of me.
Please youre the only one I have left please. He was sobbing so hard that tears
started falling from my own eyes. God Im going insane--- please please
Christine! Please! God His hands were pushing on his hair and his head was shoved
on the floor as he sobbed loudly. I left him.

Hes gone.

After three days of transferring to that apartment, I woke up this morning late.
There was no Emilio to wake me up today. It was the first time. I stood up from bed
feeling a little bit groggy and I looked for him around the place. He was nowhere to be
found. I fought the urge to get worried. Hell come back. He will but what if he
doesnt? Somewhere at the back of my mind, I was worried. Hes the only one Ive
got

The next day, it was a knock on my door that woke me up. I looked at my watch.
It was 6:15 am. Damn it. Who would look for me this early? I put on my robe and
grudgingly opened the door. There were two of them at the door. From the way they
looked, theyre probably police officers.

Ms. Christine Farrel?

 Uhhh yes. May I help you, officer?

They looked at each other first before speaking. Youre father, Mr. Sherwin Farrel
was found dead yesterday. One of his costumers found him dead inside his own shop.
Apparently, he committed suicide.

A pang on my chess but I tried not to show it.

How?

A gunshot wound.

I showered his ashes on some high way I found out of nowhere.

I decided to go on a road trip after the cremation. I dont want his ashes with
me. Im alone now. Even Emilio left me. Damn him. Damn them all.

I told the police everything I know. I also told them about my brother and sister
whom I think were buried somewhere around or inside the storehouse. Even about
Golmer, that poor dog he killed. Officer Adam said hes called me if they found
anything. I told him that I dont care.

After one week, I received a call from Officer Adam. He was telling me to come
back. They found the bodies. Both of them.

Dont need to. Cant you just give them somewhere? I mean I dont want
anything of these things anymore Im so tired.

Im sorry Ms. Farrel but there is also one thing I wanted to ask you.

Okay.

You said that you think it was your father who killed both of them, even Tasha, is
that positive?

Yes. Who else would?

There is a little problem. It wasnt you fathers semen that we found on Tashas
body

I was shocked Whwhos?

 It was Emilios.

I was back there after a whole nights travel.

I didnt even sleep. I went directly to Officer Adam.

There were a lot of people around the old house especially around the
storehouse. Officer Adam was busy shouting talking to some other guys in uniform. I
went directly to him. He stared at me and said the bodies are being held by the
forensics.

Yes. Yes. I can see the bodies later. First of all, how did these happen? I was
too tired to talk anymore. I just wanted to know everything.

Youre father killed Emilio. The gun he used to kill himself was the same gun he
used to kill your brother

Okay, I get that part but why did you say that it was Emilios semen you found
in Tasha? I dont understand.? I croaked as my voice trailed.

We found all the evidences and tried to connect them are you sure you want
to hear them? You dont have to--

Tell me! I almost shouted.

He stared. Your brother raped Tasha in the storehouse. He probably drugged

her first before taking her to this place but your sister started to wake. Apparently, the
drug wasnt enough to keep her asleep and your brother started panicking

No no My head felt like it was being hammered and my heart was cracking.

so he killed her by chocking her. Your dad who stays here all the time came
here to probably check on his carvings and found your brother after he just killed
Tasha. Officer Adam was sighing and I know I was crying but I was looking at him
and he knew I wanted him to continue.

Your father, on a fit of rage, beat your brother with his own carving tools which
explains the blood we found on them and shot him in the end then he hid both the
bodies under some of his old artworksthe dog, Golmer? Is that correct? Probably,
started smelling the bodies and digging them up. Thats why your father killed him too.
 I fell down on my knees. My senses are up and I was shivering tears running
down my cheeks... the ringing in my ear my head cracking I knew I was drooling
too but I didnt care.
How could I?

He carried all the problems with him so that we wouldnt break if mother and I
learned the truth we probably couldnt have taken it.... He carried it all all alone so
that we wouldnt break all alone and we hated him for that. He stood up and tried
to fix what was left he did everything for us. All alone. The number one person who
loved me was the one I hated most all these three years I I didnt even show him
the least of affection. He must have cried a lot like me oh god then in the end I
left him. I was the only he got and I left him I left him

Daddy I was distraught. I was crying. I was shouting. I was on the ground,
shoving my face on the grass hands all around trying to get me up Daddy Im
sorry Im sorry.

And now I scattered the only remains of him on some road I dont even know.
What have I done what have I done Daddy Im sorry. Im sorry.

I will always love you, honey

The shadow was there.

Everything was on slow motion. Slow motion.

I shoved the hands that were trying to hold me as I stood up slowly looking at the
shadow.

I heard Officer Adam say, Christine?

I walked towards him. I dont care if I was the only one who can see him.

Daddy? My hands were trying to reach. My legs were trembling

The shadow was no shadow. His face became clear. Daddy

A hand raised. Cupped in my face.

I will always love you honey. I will always In the past, in the present, or in the
future.
 He even came back to make sure I survived that was no Emilio it was Daddy
all along.

Goodbye honey Lights... Shimmered. Goodbye, Daddy