Confidence Unleashed Workbook

CONFIDENCE UNLEASHED WORKBOOK
Welcome to your Confidence Unleashed workbook.
Before you begin watching any of the videos, take the time to print a copy of
this workbook.
While you watch each session, follow along in the workbook and write in your
responses when directed by the video. There is also space for recording your
homework experiences, as well as for jotting down notes about what you are
learning.
Attention!
This workbook is an essential part of your process of transformation. In
order to get the results you want, you must do the exercises within.
Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

1
TABLE
Table OF CONTENTS
of Contents
Session 1: Clarity and Confidence..3
Session 2: You Determine Your Destiny...8
Session 3: Unleashing Your Confidence.12
Session 4: Social Power. 23
Session 5: The Skill of Approaching..36
Session 6: Flirting and Dating47
Session 7: The Secret to Sexual Confidence...49
Session 8: Self-Compassion and Confidence..51
Resource Guide.61

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SESSION 1: CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE
If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
- GAIL SHEEHY
What?
What do you really want?
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What is the story you are telling yourself about why you cannot have it?
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Why?
Why do you want to change this area of your life?
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What will it give you? How will you feel about yourself and your life?
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The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it,
and enjoy the dance.
- ALAN WATTS

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Ultimate Confidence Vision
Describe what you saw when you imagined yourself with complete
confidence.
How did you move? How did you approach others?
What expression did you have on your face?
What were you wearing?
What did this version of you think of other peoples opinions? Was he
worried about whether others would like him?
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I advise you to say your dream is possible and then overcome all
inconveniences, ignore all the hassles and take a running leap through the
hoop, even if it is in flames.
- LES BROWN

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Why must I change this now?
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Who I can get to support me on this journey:
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Live out your imagination, not your history.

- STEPHEN COVEY

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Notes:
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SESSION 2 YOU DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY
It is almost impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to
continue to choose misery after becoming aware that it is a choice.
- WILLIAM GLASSER
Our decisions determine our direction, our destination, and ultimately our
destiny.
- ANTHONY ROBBINS
Why dont you already have what you want? List your reasons here below.
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The Downward Arrow
The Downward Arrow is a technique from Cognitive Therapy that allows you
to dig beneath the surface and discover what you are actually afraid of.
Example: Question: Negative Thought/Fear:
Shes going to say no

and reject me. __________________________
What is the
worst thing
about that?
Im a loser whos not

worth her time __________________________
What is the
worst thing
about that?
Im never going to get

a girl. __________________________
What is the
worst thing
about that?
Id be lonely and
depressed. __________________________

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What is really stopping you?
The three real reasons we do not get what we want are:
1. The fear that we are not good enough.

2. The fear that we will not be loved.
3. An unwillingness to do what is necessary to get there.
Your Old Story:

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Dont believe everything that you think.
-UNKNOWN
Homework Building Awareness

Over the next several days, pay attention to how your old story operates in
your life. Are you regularly interpreting the things that happen around you so
that they fit with your story? Are you regularly finding evidence that confirms
this old story?

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Notes:
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SESSION 3 UNLEASHING YOUR CONFIDENCE
Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our self-fulfilling prophecy.

- BRIAN TRACEY
Influencing Your Emotions

While we do not always have complete control over what we are thinking and
feeling, we always do have a measure of choice. We can choose to do certain
things with out attention, body, and mind that can have a powerful effect on
the way we are feeling.
3 Ways To Influence Your Emotions:
1. Focus where you place your attention and awareness.
2. Body how you hold yourself, move your body, and breath.
3. Self-Talk what you say to yourself in your own mind, including the story
you tell yourself.

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Components of Confidence
What did you do to create confidence? What images did you see? How did
you use your body? What were you saying to yourself in your mind?
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Limiting Beliefs
Limiting Beliefs, or Limiting Ideas, are negative statements we regularly tell
ourselves about who we are and how other people see us. These ideas can be
incredibly life restricting and can block us from moving towards what we
really want.
Some examples of limiting beliefs include:
Im not good enough

Im not attractive. Im ugly.
Im stupid.
Im boring.
If I approach a woman, she will reject me.
No woman could ever want me.
People dont like me.
Im a loser.
I dont have anything to add to conversations.
Im awkward.
Theres something wrong with me.

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Notice how many of these beliefs start with I AM. They reflect how we see
ourselves, and they can become part of our self-concept (our identity).
Brainstorm some of your most limiting beliefs in the section below. You can
use some from the list above and discover your own:
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The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you
use today.
- LES BROWN

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Your Top 3 Limiting Beliefs
1. First Limiting Belief:
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What is the consequence of this belief? What has it cost you in your life?
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2. Second Limiting Belief:
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3. Third Limiting Belief:
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New Empowering Beliefs
In the section below, write out our old belief one more time, then vigorously
scratch it out and write your new empowering belief, based on what you said
during your rant.
1. I used to have this old bullshit belief that:

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The Truth Is:

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My new empowering belief:

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The Truth Is:

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The Truth Is:

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Homework - Conditioning
The key to rewriting your limiting beliefs into more empowering one lies in
your ability to consistently condition your mind over the days and weeks to come.
Through this process, you will start to develop new neural pathways that will
change your thinking patterns and your brain.
Exercise 1 Existing Evidence
A belief becomes much stronger and more believable when we have evidence
to support it.
Below, write out each of your new empowering beliefs. Underneath, write out
3 pieces of evidence for the belief 3 ways it is already true. Search your
memory, your recent and distant past, and discover the evidence to support
this new belief.
New Empowering Belief 1:
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Evidence:
1.
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Evidence:
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Evidence Hunting
During the week, actively search for evidence for your new beliefs. The more
you actively search, the more you will find. Write your new evidence below as
you find it.
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Notes:
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SESSION 4 SOCIAL POWER
r
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If
you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get
busy.
- DALE CARNEGIE
Social Power: The ability to do what you would like in social settings. This
can include starting conversations, saying what is on your mind, sharing your
honest feelings, asking someone out, and anything else that you would do if
you were free to be yourself around others.
Asking Empowering Questions

A major influencer of how we feel during social interactions is what we are
paying attention to during the interaction. Are you looking for signs of
disapproval? Are you assuming this person will find you boring?
One powerful way to shift our attention during a social interaction is to ask
ourselves a more empowering question.
An empowering question has the following elements:
Includes positive assumptions.

Guides your focus towards what you want.
Asks how can I and other phrase that imply you have power and
choice.
Includes a call to action, such as right now.

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Below are a list of disempower questions and a list of empowering questions.
Read the list over a circle one or more of the empowering questions that you
are committed to asking yourself regularly.
Disempowering Questions Empowering Questions

How can I get this person to like me? How can I give and receive even
more love right now?
What is wrong with me?
What do I appreciate about this
Why does this always happen to me? person?
Why dont people like me? How can I be the source of approval?
What am I doing wrong? How can I feel even more grateful
right now, and act with faith and
What if I make a mistake?
love?
What does this person think of me?
What do I appreciate about this
What could go wrong? person?
What will I do if they reject me? What am I doing well here?
What is going right?

What would I do right now if I did
not fear rejection?
What if there was nothing wrong with
me, what would I do right now?
Create your own use the elements of the questions above and create your
own empowering question below:
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Passive to Active
In the face of an uncertain outcome, many people hesitate because they are
afraid they might fail or get rejected. This can lead to a pattern of avoiding the
things that make you uncomfortable or nervous.
However, this risk-avoidance strategy, however, comes at a high cost.

Virtually anything you desire a better social life, a girlfriend, a better job all
are obtained by taking many healthy risks.
In order to get what you truly want in your life, you must move from passive
to active.
P LEVEL LEVEL LEVEL LEVEL A

A I II III IV C
S T
You do not take You take action, You take action, You take action,
S I
action. You wait but only when even when even when the
I for things to the outcome is outcome is result seems very V
V happen, for virtually certain. uncertain. You unlikely. This is E
E other people to You are almost face a risk of going for the
approach you. positive you will being rejected or long shots, the
not fail or get failing. one in a million
rejected. chances, your
dreams.

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Conversation Skills
In a conversation, there are only three things you have to do:
1. Ask Questions
2. Make Statements
3. Listen
Questions
Questions are incredibly powerful forms of communication. They

demonstrate engagement and interest, as well as guiding the conversation.
Closed Questions vs. Open Questions
A closed question is a question that is best answered by a single phrase or

word. It is designed to get information quickly and efficiently, like when you
visit the doctor.
An open question is designed to create conversation, exploration, and sharing.

There is not one specific answer and it would be difficult to respond with a
single word.
Closed Questions Open Questions

When did you go there? Why did you decide to go there?
Was it fun? What was your favorite part of being there?
Do you live in this city? Tell me about where you live.
What are you drinking? What does your drink taste like?
A simple rule of thumb to go by is can this question be answered with a

single word, such as yes or no? If so, it is a closed question.

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Statements
Statements are an incredibly important part of conversations because they let

people know you are listening to them and they help others get to know you.
When making statements, you can practice using:
Restatement This involves repeating back some or all of what you heard
the other person say. This does not mean repeating everything they said
word for word like a parrot, but rather summarizing key points that you
heard them say. At first, it might seem strange, as if they will pause, look at
you and say yes, I just said that. But in reality, people feel heard and seen
and greatly enjoy when someone reflects back to them what they heard.
Revealing Yourself An equally important type of statement is one that

shares something about yourself. Most shy people tend to avoid these,
which leads to more challenging interactions that can be difficult for both
people. Trust that people want to get to know you, and then share about
your life, your interests, and what you are feeling and thinking in the
moment.
Jokes Humor is an incredibly powerful form of communication that can

put both you and others at ease. Have you ever noticed how when you are
completely relaxed and just having a good time with a friend you tend to
laugh more and make more jokes? As you practice interacting with people,
take more chances to make jokes, ironic comments, or any other form of
humor you like to use with friends when you are comfortable. It puts
people at ease and helps you enjoy the interactions that much more.

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Listen
Listening is an active process it is not simply waiting for the other person to
stop speaking. The key to listening is being able to slow your mind down, take
deep breaths into your belly and focus on what the other person is saying.
Indicating that you are listening can be incredible helpful as well. This
includes nodding, holding eye contact, and giving subtle verbal cues that you
are paying attention, such as oh, mmhmm, yes and so forth.
Turn Your Filter Down
One of the quickest ways to have stilted, uncomfortable, and unsatisfying

interactions is to focus your attention on what if this person judges me? and
then filter everything you say to make sure it wont offend or annoy them.
Not only is this type of interaction exhausting, it also does not give you the
freedom to be who you are. Playing it entirely safe might keep people from
being offended, but it also keeps them from knowing you and being attracted
to you. Few people are attracted to overly nice and polite people who only do
what they think others want them to do.
Be bold, turn your filter down! Ask what you are really curious about, share
information about yourself, make jokes.

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Empowering Beliefs for Conversations
The following beliefs can be incredible helpful for increasing your social
power and your ability to be yourself around others. Read them over
regularly and repeat them to yourself on a daily basis until you start to see
them as true.
What I say matters.
What I say is interesting to others.
What I say is important to me.
People enjoy interacting with me.

I am articulate, graceful, funny, and charming.
I ask great questions and I listen well.

People love talking with me because I listen to them so carefully.
I love sharing myself with other people.

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Homework - Experiments
Experiment 1: The Observer
Spend 20-30 minutes walking in a busy area noticing everything you can about
the people around you (what they are saying, what they are wearing, how they
are sitting or moving, etc.). Focus all of your attention on the present moment
and the environment around you.
What did you notice? What did you see around you? What did you learn about
social interactions, other people, or yourself?
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Experiment 2: Toe In The Water
Find person and ask them: Excuse me, do you know what time it is?
How do you imagine it will go? What do you anticipate will happen?
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How did it go? How did the other person respond? Were your predictions
accurate?
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Experiment 3: Eye Contact
For the entire day, whenever you interact with people, be sure to hold eye
contact with them.
How did it go? Was it difficult to do this at first? How did it feel once you
kept doing it?
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Experiment 4: Basic Question
Find 5 different people and ask them a basic question of your choosing.
(ex. Whats your favorite restaurant in Portland?)
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How did it actually go? How did the other people respond? Were your
predictions accurate?
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Experiment 5: Smile and Hello Practice
Walk down a busy street and make eye contact with as many people as you
can. As you walk by people, simply smile and say hello. Keep track of how
many positive responses you get and how many negative responses you get.
How do you imagine it will go? How many positive responses do you think
you will get? More than 50% or less?
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How did it actually go? How did the other people respond? Were your
predictions accurate?
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Experiment 6: Solo Meal
Go to a real restaurant (not a fast food joint) and enjoy a meal alone. Do not
bring your cell phone, a book, magazine, computer, or any other distraction.
Instead, simply be present, enjoy your meal, and notice the stories and self-
talk that might be going through your mind. If youd like, you can bring a
sheet of paper and pen and write some of these stories down to challenge
later.
How did it go? What did you notice? What did you learn?
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Experiment 7: Embarrassment Inoculation
Go to a store and find a clerk and ask them: Excuse me, where are your
condoms?
How did it go? Did the clerk respond negatively?
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What did you learn about how you can handle embarrassment?
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Experiment 8: High 5s
Walk down a busy street with an exuberant bounce in your step. Repeatedly
offer your hand to people to get them to give you a high-five.
Keep going until you get 5 high-fives.
How did the experiment go? How many people did you have to engage
before you got 5 high-fives?
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Experiment 9: Can I have a bite?
Go to a casual dining establishment (coffee shop, restaurant with outdoor

seating), and ask someone if you can have a bite of their food. You do not
have to get a yes, you just have to ask for it.
How did it go? How did they react? Did they give you a bite?
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Summary:
What did you learn from doing all these experiments? How did it change your
perception of yourself? Do other people generally respond positively to you?
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Over the next weeks and months to come, see if you can incorporate these
experiments into your daily life especially the ones you found particularly
challenging or scary. Each time you do on you are increasing your level of
social fitness and social freedom.

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SESSION 5 THE SKILL OF APPROACHING
Are you willing to do whatever it takes?

Any idea or story we have about why we cannot go talk to a woman we do
not know is false. Pay careful attention to the excuses or reasons your mind
comes up with for avoiding doing this.
Top 5 Reasons to NOT talk to a woman

She doesnt want to talk to me.
Shes out of my league.
She will be annoyed and disgusted if I go talk with her.
Shell think Im hitting on her.
Shes probably in a relationship (and her boyfriend might be nearby).
All of these are stories we tell ourselves so we do not have to face our
deepest fear of being rejected and feeling like we are not enough.
Remember how to reframe rejection, and find the courage and strength inside
of yourself to take action and success is inevitable.
Places in my city where I could go to meet women:

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My Old Mindset:
This is your old story the ideas and explanations that you had for why you
could not approach a woman.
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My New Mindset:
What is your new story? What beliefs about yourself will empower you to take
the next step?
Examples:
I am a powerful man.
I am a leader.
I am funny, interesting, and charismatic.
I have so much to offer!
I am the selector I choose her!
I am the shit!

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Write out your new mindset below:
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The 3 Second Rule

If you are going out to meet a woman, or are open to meeting one by
chance during the course of your day, then when you see an opportunity,
you must start to move towards her within 3 seconds of laying eyes on her.
This immediate action will not allow time for your mind to start offering
excuses or fears that hold you back from doing what you know you really
want.

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Homework - Experiments
Experiment 1: Toe in the Water
Find an attractive woman and ask her: Excuse me, do you know what time
it is?
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How did it go? How did she respond? Were your predictions accurate?
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Experiment 2: Basic Question
Find an attractive woman and ask her: Excuse me, do you know of a good
coffee shop around here?
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How did it go? How did the other person respond? Were your predictions
accurate?
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Experiment 3: Careful Observation
Throughout the day, whenever you see an attractive woman pay careful
attention to her. Notice what shes wearing, her accessories, how she moves.
Observe and think about things that you could comment on or ask her about,
if you wanted to.
Do not actually talk with her today is entirely about observation.
What did you notice? What are some of the things you could comment on?
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Experiment 4: Operation Eye Contact
For the entire day, whenever you see a woman, hold eye contact with her until
she breaks it. This includes every woman any age, size, color, and level of
attractiveness.
How did it go? Was it difficult to do this at first? How did it feel once you
kept doing it?
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Experiment 5: Drive By Compliment
Find a beautiful woman and notice something you can complement her on
(an article of clothing, an accessory, her hair, anything about her). Do not
stop and do not start a conversation with her.
Pay attention to her as you give the compliment. Notice her body language,
her facial gestures, and anything she says in response.
How did this exercise go? Did she seem to receive the complement or did she
get uncomfortable? What did you learn from this experiment?
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Experiment 6: Compliment + Question
Similar to the last exercise, in this one you will find a beautiful woman and
give her a drive-by compliment. However, this time, you will follow that up
with a question. You can ask her about the thing you complemented, for
example:
That is a great shirt, where did you get that?
Those are great earrings, did you make those?
How did it go? How did she respond to you after you gave her a compliment?
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Experiment 6: Intriguing Question
Spend a little time brainstorming interesting questions that might lead to

conversations. These are usually questions about psychology, dating,
relationships, and men/women differences in general. For example:
When youre in a relationship, what percentage of your time should you spend with your
partner?
When you are attracted to a hot guy, how do you initiating with him?
Do you believe people should be completely honest all of the time in relationships? (this one
can get a fun, heated conversation going!)
When you go on a first date, do you think the man should pay?

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Come up with 3 of your own and write them below:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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Experiment 7: Being Direct
Find an attractive woman and tell her directly that she is beautiful. Before you
do this exercise, practice by looking at yourself in the mirror and saying:
I noticed you from over there and I had to come tell you you are
absolutely beautiful.
Be sure to hold your eye contact in the mirror and repeat this phrase until you
can say it easily and playfully. You can adapt the phrase and make it in your
own words, but it must contain the direct statement: You are beautiful (or
gorgeous).

43
How did it go? Were you scared? How did she respond? What did you learn?
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Experiment 8: Are You Single?
Find an attractive woman and walk directly up to her. Ask her the following
question in a slightly accusatory tone as if you are playfully suspicious of
her: Excuse me, are you single?
Pay careful attention to how she responds. Her saying yes or giving you her
number is not the point of this exercise. The key here is to ask the question,
regardless of the response.
How did it go? Were you scared? What did you learn?
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44
Summary:
What did you learn from doing all these experiments? How did it change your
perception of yourself?
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What did you learn about attractive women? How do they respond to you?
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Just as with the previous set of experiments these are designed to help
you transform shyness into confidence through taking action. The more you
can see these experiments as daily activities, or ways of living, the more
rapid your results will be. Continue to practice these exercises regularly, and
see if you can enlist a friend to do them along with you.

45
Notes:
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46
SESSION 6 FLIRTING AND DATING
Carefully watch the video session for today and take as many notes as you
can. See if you can determine and understand the basic elements of flirting,
building attraction, and dating.
Notes:
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Masculine presence is being able to look a woman directly in the eye and say
to her through your body language I am here, I am listening, and Im not
going anywhere.
- AZIZ GAZIPURA

47
Notes:
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48
SESSION77The
Session THESecret
SECRETtoTSexual
O SEXUAL CONFIDENCE
Confidence
What is the secret to sexual confidence? While most men think it is about
knowing you are an amazing lover who can give your partner dozens of
orgasms, the truth is very different.
Sex is not a performance and is not about impressing your partner with your
amazing techniques. The truth is sex is about deeply connecting with another
human being, with all of their fears, desires, and wants.
The true secret to sexual confidence is trusting in yourself enough to be truly

vulnerable with another person.
This includes being able to communicate what you are feeling, wanting, and
desiring. It also involves talking about challenging or uncomfortable topics,
and being able to listen to your partner when she does the same.
Notes:
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Notes:
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50
SESSION 8 SELF-COMPASSION & CONFIDENCE
The 3 Steps to True Success

Step 1- Expand Your Comfort Zone
Your comfort zone is made up of all the parts of your life that are familiar and
easy for you. These are the things that we do because were used to it, because
that is what is habitual for us, because it is not scary and comfortable.
In order to get what you want in any area of your life, you must push yourself
to grow beyond the edge of your comfort zone. You must try new things,
challenge yourself and face what you are scared of in order to reach a new
level in your life.
Step 2 Self-Compassion
Self-Compassion is the skill of treating ourselves with warmth, kindness,

appreciation and respect. It is based on a decision to stop attacking yourself,
and to treat yourself well, even when you make a mistake or experience a
setback, failure, or rejection. It is a skill because it is something that anyone can
learn with regular practice.
3 Steps to Generating Self-Compassion
1. Stop and Breath

2. Acknowledge and Empathize
3. Self-Soothe
Bonus step Share with someone. Nothing can help soothe shame or reduce self-
attack like sharing openly and vulnerably with a person you trust. This can be
a family member, good friend, or counselor/coach.

51
Step 3 - Gratitude
What we are truly wanting when we are seeking success is a feeling of

fulfillment, pride, and satisfaction. We want to feel good about what we did
and what we were able to do.
An essential component of feeling successful is to create a sense of gratitude

for what we already have, what we are able to do, and who we are.
Homework The Next 7 Days

Compassionate Letter Writing
Once a day for the next week, take several moments to write a compassionate,
supportive letter addressed to yourself. It does not have to be long, eloquent,
or perfect. It is simply about practicing speaking to yourself in a new way,
which might seem unfamiliar or strange at first.
For example:
Dear Aziz,
Hey buddy, Im sorry your body is hurting today. Its frustrating to be putting
more attention and energy on it, doing so much more, and still feeling pain. I
think youre doing an amazing job of taking more care of yourself. You have
so much dedication, determination, and discipline!
Hey buddy, I love you. You are doing such an awesome job juggling all of the
things in your life! You are prioritizing your health, creating a deep loving and
passionate relationship with Candace, running your own business, and
continuing to learn and develop yourself. Its amazing really!
No wonder you are feeling a bit tired and drained today. You are doing so
much. I really admire and respect how much you are desiring to create in
your life and the world around you.
Love,
Aziz

52
3 Successes
Each day for the next seven days, record 3 successes from your day. These
can be significant achievements, or the most minor accomplishments, such as
choosing a healthy option at lunch, or enjoying a conversation with a friend.
Below you will find space in your workbook to record both your success and
your self-compassion letter for the next week. As with anything you are
learning in this program, the more you condition it, the more impactful the
shift will be.
You can also do these exercises in your own journal.
To truly transform your level of self-esteem and self-compassion, I

recommend recording your successes and writing self-compassion letters for
the next 30 days or more.

53
Day 1
3 Success:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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Self-Compassion Letter:
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54
Day 2
3 Success:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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55
Day 3
3 Success:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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56
Day 4
3 Success:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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Day 5
3 Success:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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Day 6
3 Success:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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59
Day 7
3 Success:
1. _______________________________________________________
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2. _______________________________________________________
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3. _______________________________________________________
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60
Resource Guide
Below you will find a list of materials (books, audio programs, video
programs, and seminars) that provide guidance and education on your path to
ever-increasing self-confidence.
These materials have strongly influenced me and have helped me greatly on

my path. I admire and respect these individuals as teachers and mentors. May
they help you as much as they have helped me.
Unleash The Power Within Seminar (UPW) Anthony Robbins
Tony Robbins is one of the worlds most effective coaches. He has a powerful
ability to help people release negative beliefs and replace them with more
empowering ideas about themselves and their lives. I highly recommend
attending his introductory seminar. The UPW experience is highly influential
and is a must for anyone who wants to overcome the obstacles in their lives.
Intimate Connections David Burns, MD
One of the leading figures in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dr. Burns guides
you through the maze of your own negative beliefs and helps you realize that
much of what you have been telling yourself is false. He uses humor,
anecdotes, and his vast experience to help liberate people from limiting
beliefs.

61
David DeAngelo Programs
Eben Pagan (pen name David D.) is a brilliant teacher. He meticulously

researches any topic he creates a program on, and he provides large amounts
of useful information for many things dating related. He is like a college
professor who really knows their stuff except the courses he teaches are
things like Dating 101, Flirting 101, and so forth. A wealth of skills and
resources here.
Radical Acceptance Tara Brach, PhD
Tara Brach is a psychotherapist and Buddhist teacher and she provides

incredible insight into the workings of our own minds and bodies, particularly
around what she calls the trance of unworthiness. She illuminates, with
great compassion, how we perpetuate our struggle by being harsh with
ourselves, and she provides clear guidance on how to become friendlier and
kinder to yourself, no matter what. A must read if you have a hard time accepting
yourself as you are.
No More Mr. Nice Guy Robert Glover
A life-changing little book. It will introduce you to the concept of a nice

guy, which, if you are shy, you probably are. You will learn about the fears
that prevent you from speaking up for yourself, and you will learn how to take
care of yourself, be assertive, and improve all areas of your life.

62
Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway Susan Jeffers
The title of this book says it. It helps you realize that everyone feels fear
even those who look confident and fearless on the outside. The major
difference is these people understand that fear is a natural part of growth, and
do they do not let it hold them back from what they want.
The Gifts of Imperfection Brene Brown
A powerful look at the blocks we have to being ourselves around others.

Brene discusses how shame and fear of disapproval cause us to hold back
from others, ultimately reducing our ability to connect. She guides you
through basic exercises to help you increase your capacity to be vulnerable
and authentic with the people in your life.
Getting Real - Susan Campbell
This book provides a roadmap for how to be more direct, assertive, and
honest in all of your relationships. She takes big concepts, such as honesty
and breaks them down into practical steps to apply in your life. This is a must
for those who strongly want to be themselves across all situations.
And of course my book!
The Solution to Social Anxiety Aziz Gazipura, PsyD
This book is written for men who are struggling with shyness and social
anxiety. It explores the major obstacles men face, the source of their anxiety,
and provides dozens of practical solutions to help shift from social anxiety to
social confidence.

63

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CONFIDENCE UNLEASHED WORKBOOK

Welcome to your Confidence Unleashed workbook.

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

How did you move? How did you approach others?

What expression did you have on your face?

What were you wearing?

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Who I can get to support me on this journey:

Live out your imagination, not your history.

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Example: Question: Negative Thought/Fear:

Shes going to say no

Im a loser whos not

Im never going to get

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

1. The fear that we are not good enough.

Your Old Story:

Dont believe everything that you think.

Homework Building Awareness

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our self-fulfilling prophecy.

Influencing Your Emotions

3 Ways To Influence Your Emotions:

1. Focus where you place your attention and awareness.

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Some examples of limiting beliefs include:

Im not good enough

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

2. Second Limiting Belief:

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

1. I used to have this old bullshit belief that:

The Truth Is:

My new empowering belief:

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

The Truth Is:

My new empowering belief:

3. I used to have this old bullshit belief that:

The Truth Is:

My new empowering belief:

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Exercise 1 Existing Evidence

New Empowering Belief 1:

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

New Empowering Belief 3:

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Asking Empowering Questions

An empowering question has the following elements:

Includes positive assumptions.

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

Disempowering Questions Empowering Questions

What will I do if they reject me? What am I doing well here?

What is going right?

Confidence Unleashed -- The Center For Social Confidence 2012

However, this risk-avoidance strategy, however, comes at a high cost.