Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

During his midlife Next time on Dr. I went from _____ to

crisis, my dad got Phil: How to talk to _____, all thanks to
really into _____. your child about _____.
_____.

_____ would be Only two things in Members of New

woefully incomplete life are certain: York's social elite
without _____. death and _____. are paying
thousands of
dollars just to
experience _____.

My new favorite Everyone down on This month's

porn star is Joey the ground! We Cosmo: "Spice up
"_____" McGee. don't want to hurt your sex life by
anyone. We're just bringing _____ into
here for _____. the bedroom."
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Before I run for The healing process Little Miss Muffet

president, I must began when I joined Sat on a tuffet,
destroy all evidence a support group for Eating her curds
of my involvement victims of _____. and _____.
with _____.

This is your captain The votes are in, If God didn't want
speaking. Fasten and the new high us to enjoy _____,
your seatbelts and school mascot is he wouldn't have
prepare for _____. _____. given us _____.

In his newest and Charades was My country, 'tis of

most difficult stunt, ruined for me thee, sweet land of
David Blaine must forever when my _____.
escape from _____. mom had to act out
_____.
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

The Five Stages of Before _____, all we After months of

Grief: denial, anger, had was _____. debate, the Occupy
bargaining, _____, Wall Street General
acceptance. Assembly could
only agree on "More
_____!"

My mom freaked out Tonight on 20/20: I spent my whole life

when she looked at What you don't working toward
my browser history know about _____ _____, only to have
and found could kill you. it ruined by _____.
_____.com/_____.

You haven't truly

lived until you've
experienced _____
and _____ at the
same time.
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

A bigger, blacker Upgrading Mild autism.

dick. homeless people to
mobile hotspots.
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

The mere concept of Wearing an octopus Nunchuck moves.

Applebee's. for a hat.

A sad fat dragon An unhinged ferris Whipping a

with no friends. wheel rolling toward disobedient slave.
the sea.

Catastrophic Living in a trashcan. An ether-soaked

urethral trauma. rag.
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Hillary Clinton's The corporations. A sweet spaceship.

death stare.

Existing. A magic hippie love A 55-gallon drum of

cloud. lube.

A piñata full of Fuck Mountain. Special musical

scorpions. guest, Cher.
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Mooing. Survivor's guilt. The human body.

Swiftly achieving Getting hilariously Boris the Soviet

orgasm. gang-banged by the Love Hammer.
Blue Man Group.

Daddy's belt. Jeff Goldblum. The grey nutrient

broth that sustains
Mitt Romney.
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Me. Making a friend. Tiny nipples.

Double penetration. A soulful rendition Oncoming traffic.

of "Ol' Man River."

Weapons-grade Intimacy problems. A dollop of sour

plutonium. cream.
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Some really fucked- A sweaty, panting A slightly shittier

up shit. leather daddy. parallel universe.

Subduing a grizzly Spring break! My first kill.

bear and making her
your wife.

Rising from the Being awesome at Graphic violence,

grave. sex. adult language, and
some sexual
content.
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The mixing of the Dining with Fetal alcohol

races. cardboard cutouts syndrome.
of the cast of
"Friends."

Taking a man's eyes Another shot of The day the birds

and balls out and morphine. attacked.
putting his eyes
where his balls go
and then his balls in
the eye holes.

Scrotal frostbite. Beefin' over turf. One Ring to rule

them all.
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All of this blood. A squadron of Grandpa's ashes.

moles wearing
aviator goggles.

Loki, the trickster Bullshit. Basic human

god. decency.

Whining like a little Pretty Pretty A Burmese tiger pit.

bitch. Princess Dress-Up
Board Game®.
 Cards Against Humanity is a trademark of Cards Against Humanity, LLC. Cards Against Humanity is distributed under a CC-BY-NC-SA license.

Pumping out a baby The new Radiohead Death by Steven

every nine months. album. Seagal.

Tongue. An army of The Google.

skeletons.

Finding Waldo. A man in yoga pants Power.

with a ponytail and
feather earrings.