Custom Cards Against Humanity `s pack (Part 1 )

Created by the awesome site http://customcardsagainsthumanity.com

Banana

Hodor

Blood diamonds

A black hole

A wife

best card

Dial-up internet.

Dividing by zero.

iPhone 6

GoPro

Mounted camera

BOOM!

That was easy

Are you kidding me?

People who say they

put in "110%"

Dog-meat burrito

Sexy vampire ninja

Farting in an elevator

Bond. James Bond.

"Get in my belly!"

the tears of Chuck

Norris

Dick Chenney's
shotgun skills

Sexual Harassment
Panda

Going full retard

Running backwards
through a cornfield

A day care Fight Club.

Forgetting the safe

word.

Japanese schoolgirl.

White trash

Pity sex

Lady Gaga's
boyfriend

That moment when

the wind flows through
your vag hair

Stuffing a speedo with

a polish sausage

Child Chewable Birth

Control

Paying a hobo to
spoon with you.

Romance zombie
book

Dancing camel

Over 9000!!!

Scumbag Steve

A joke too funny for

women to understand

Eating the entire bag

Emma Watson

Becoming a pokemon
master

Being the very best,

like no one ever was

Prank calling a suicide

hotline

The tooth fairy's

exposed breast

A midget with a
learning disability.

Making it look like a

suicide.

a banana hammock.

2048

Naked yoga.

Road rage.

Smoothies!
Smoothies!
Smoothies!

James Camerons
ego.

Porn stars

Tim Curry in Drag

The art of sandwich

making.

Parking like an
asshole

Aggresive Legolas
hair flips.

House party at
Gollum's

Science bitch.

Hannibal home-made
food.

Worst superhero
award.

The worst super

powers.

A long romantic walk

to the fridge.

A racist old billionaire

who owns the Los
Angeles Clippers.

Vladimir Putin

Your face

Hot-dog stand

Dating Advice from

Taylor Swift

Because I killed
Jenny!

Bearded Austrian
drag act Conchita
triumphs

Grady's Mustache

Timid cat calls.

Dog poop smushed

between your toes

Used second-hand
adult diapers.

A castle with a moat

filled with spaghetti
and man-eating
meatballs.

Looking into a crystal

ball and glimpsing a
future where you are
looking into a different
crystal ball.

Sneaking into your

parents bedroom and
falling asleep to the
sounds of them
having sex.

Peeing in two
directions due to dried
semen.

A statue of Santa
Claus that takes up
12% of an apartment.

A bergina.

Disastrously
misunderstanding the
purpose of a whale's
blowhole.

Watching porn
because the porn
stars look like your
real-life friends.

Having a last name

that rhymes with a sex
organ.

A fight to the death

between Iron Man and
Tin Man.

That friend who says

"that's what she said"
to everything you say;
even when it's not
even remotely funny.

POGS!

Free wifi.

Katie.. Will you marry

me? -Rhett

A tickle me Elmo that

NEVER stops
laughing.

TADA!!!

Mom's spaghetti.

The poop hammer.

Slurping!

Being sad each time

your favorite character
dies in Game of
Thrones.

A career ending
blowjob.

Joking about finding a

cure for AIDS.

Apologizing for having

a boner.

Eating caviar. Then,

later, pooping out live
fish.

Passive-aggressive
spaghetti.

Face checking the

brush.

Slicing a train in half

with a scimitar.

A casket full of beer.

A big bag of dicks.

Finding the droids you

were looking for.

Blank.

Luis Guzman breath.

A poorly timed fart.

Ke$ha.

Benjamin Franklin
Time Traveller

A giant`s toe.

Flying Spaghetti
Monster.

Being called "scum"

all day, week, month
and year around.

Vampire Robot Nazis.

Dragonborn.

A flaming red dragon,

swallowing the sun.

Bologna nipples

Having a rockin
awesome ginger
beard!

Metaphor.

Hunting Demons.

Misha Collins

Castiel, Angel of the

Lord.

Supernatural.

A 1967 Chevrolet
Impala

Dean Winchester.

Sam Winchester.

Internet Fangirls.

shitting glitter.

Losing a pastie on
stage.

Sailor Poon.

Porn n' Pancakes.

Tyrion Lannister's
pimp cup.

The darkest timeline.

Loras Tyrell's
fabulous hair.

A reverse mermaid.

fucking with the

audience.

a show flyer featuring

photoshopped cum
splooges.

jumping out of a plane

at your bachelor party.

Troy and Abed in the

morning.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Bill Nye

Nice Guys of
OKCupid.

Ygritte's firecrotch.

slut-shaming.

rape culture.

My Short Skirt.

vaguebooking.

That thin, easy to

poke through, toilet
paper in public
restrooms.

Being unable to shake

that you were known
as 'Butt Knuckles' in
kindergarten.

The deep web

Accidentally Googling
"blue waffle"

The world's tallest

midget

Vaginal Hubris

The tears of straight

white men

Highschool of the
dead

A photoshop miracle

The chosen one

The prophecy

Found your pants

Standing in sort of
sun-god robes with a
thousand naked
women screaming
and throwing little
pickles at you.

Ral Esparza

Projectile childbirth

Cintia Dicker.

A Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Issue in mint
condition, except for
the sticky pages.

Liam Hemsworth

Channing Tatum.

Scarlett Johansson.

The wheelchair kid

from Glee naked on a
bearskin rug

Whispering "Hail
Hydra" into his ear
and watching him
shudder in ecstasy.

Double or nothing

A mother's love for

her child

Will Smith's
horrendous kids.

Discovering you have

a latex allergy while
losing your virginity.

Waking the dragon

Sentient boxes that

wish they weren't
boxes

An all yogurt snout.

A Shirley Temple
made from the
remains of the actual
Shirley Temple.

If only I could keep it

Ninja Cat

Lindsay Lohan's sad

life.

Foul mouthed twelve

year olds.

The mutilated entrails

of my enemies.

Pretending to be a
heterosexual.

Ross Perot's gigantic

elephant ears.

A Colombian necktie.

The money shot.

Homophobia.

THE THUNDER KING

Toeing

Masturbating furiously
to the goriest episode
of Attack on Titan.

Keistering a midget so
you can pass your
drug test.

Bleeding every time

you take a shit.

Fantasizing about
your 56 year old
teacher in class and
having an orgasm.

Using your nipple as

bait for fishing.

Having an intense
fear of being raped by
muppets.

Child Inebriation.

SIE SIND DAS

ESSEN UND WIR
SIND DIE JGER!

Being Pon this Wei.

TITANS ARE MY
TRIGGER!

FBI: Fabulous Boys

Inc.

The Pizza Man

MORTAL KOMBAT!

A ShamWow.

By being a boss ass

bitch.

I have shit cards and

am putting this down
in hopeless
desperation.

A zombie Bob Barker

that hosts The Price is
Right, but all the
prizes are brains.

A sexually-managed
piece of software.

Kissing a prince and

turning into a frog.

A custom card for

Cards Against
Humanity that never
wins.

Being sick over a long

weekend.

Craig referring to
somebody by their
first name.

A seductive panda
with a mustache.

Obviously phony
compliments.

High functioning
sociopath with your
number

A tuna fish sandwich.

Skyrim.

Monkey tits.

Shoulders, nips and

toes.

Smoking at High
School.

How my skin glistens

in the moonlight when
I'm covered in
mayonnaise

A dentist making
conversation with their
hand in your mouth.

Potato blight.

60,000 bees.

British YouTubers.

Ubisoft's fear of
animating women.

A stale dorito.

Anime fanservice.

Dead Anime Mom

syndrome.

Falling asleep in an
insomniac support
group.

A weeaboo speaking
broken Japanese.

Shrek is love, Shrek is

life.

Fog of war

A stereotypical white
girl Instagramming a
picture of her
Starbucks.

Three consecutive
seconds of happiness.

Michael Bay
explosions.

A handsome,well
educated black man.

People with nose

piercings and half of
their head shaved.

Jacking off at a high

school pep rally.

Things that go bump

in the night.

A rotating cock screw.

Eating the eyes off of

a kitty cat.

"Asshole of the
Month" in the Asshole
of the Month Club.

A mother's love for

her child

A railroad spike
drenched in menstrual
blood.

A singing Idina
Menzel real doll.

Vodka diet

The poop that has

glued my ass hairs
together.

Billy Mays

The wet spot on my

shirt from not shaking
it enough at the urinal.

The straw on Charlie

Sheen's coffee table.

The sad realization

that you have wasted
your life in the pursuit
of happiness.

Canada's navy.

A penis only a mother

could love.

Shitting on the kitchen

floor.

Biting into a worm and

finding an apple in it

George Takei

Picking up your dog

by its hind legs and
pretending he's a
lawnmower

Wiping boogers on
someone's clothes
when they're not
looking.

Riding the bull naked

at One Night Stand

A stripper.

One Direction.

The white woman

getting offended by
this card.

AMERICA!

Disembowelment.

No hugs from mommy

and daddy.

Trolling Craigslist to
get laid.

Singing showtunes
with your
gynecologist.