1

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,544
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

3
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:26,260
[IN MANDARIN] Mark my words:
Ross and Rachel will get together.

4
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:32,533
[IN MANDARIN] My favorite is
Joey. He makes me laugh! [CHUCKLES]

5
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,568
[IN ENGLISH] "How you doing?" [LAUGHING]

6
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,804
[IN MANDARIN] Jenny, come here.

7
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,707
Motherwort for your focus,

8
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:44,244
creeping lobelia for your vitality,

9
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:47,614
and wolfberry for that
sweet wolfberry taste!!!

10
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:51,365
Mommy, that one looks like the bad stuff

11
00:00:51,366 --> 00:00:53,086
the policeman showed us in class:

12
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,222
marijuana.

13
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:56,290
Mei Mei!

14
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,191
Flee from marijuana.
15
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:02,529
It saps your vigor and transforms
you into a skateboard vagrant!

16
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,286
Grow up drug-free and proud

17
00:01:05,287 --> 00:01:07,634
like such female
Chinese-American role models

18
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:11,572
as figure-skating star Michelle Kwan,

19
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:16,610
<i>Vietnam Memorial architect Maya Lin,</i>

20
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,812
<i>and </i>The Single Guy<i> co-star</i>

21
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,514
<i>Ming-Na Wen!</i>

22
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,217
Jenny.

23
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:25,852
Your mother is right.

24
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,855
Marijuana has no benefits,

25
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,044
unlike this meticulously
curated selection of plants,

26
00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:32,559
brambles, and forest litter.

27
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,128
Jenny, I make you this vow:

28
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,465
as long as I am alive, you will
never go lacking for this tea.

29
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,701
Or the filtered water
required to bring it to life.

30
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,472
And she still sends
you this tea every week?

31
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,641
Yeah. Along with reassuring notes.

32
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:51,244
"If you stop drinking
this, you will be a failure

33
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,180
and age like a white woman."

34
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,585
You wanna try some?
It's got fresh wolfberry.

35
00:01:58,819 --> 00:01:59,886
I'll take a shot.

36
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,860
Mm. Mm, mm.

37
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:22,643
Tastes like... pigs' nuts.

38
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,246
Yeah, that's in there, too.

39
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,818
[BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING]

40
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:34,421
<i>♪ I'm so high ♪</i>

41
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:37,758
<i>♪ Jack, I'm never ♪</i>

42
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,464
[RUTH] <i>Ruth, you done good.</i>

43
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,535
<i>The store is hopping, you
got a spring in your step,</i>

44
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,204
<i>you got a Caesar salad in the fridge.</i>

45
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,807
<i>Time to spread the joy that is me.</i>

46
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,277
<i>Hey, Carter. What you doing?</i>

47
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,182
Oh, sorry, I didn't think
that loud enough. [CHUCKLES]

48
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,784
What you doing?

49
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,752
- Uh, word find.
- Cool.

50
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:09,356
"Finland." Right there,
backward diagonal.

51
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:11,858
What?

52
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:15,228
All due respect, ma'am, if a
man can't find his own words,

53
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,496
he can't find himself.

54
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:20,967
"Himself," right there!

55
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:25,338
What you smoking?
56
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,707
Skywalker OG.

57
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,678
He's tried a bunch of different
indica-dominant hybrids

58
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,814
- and dosages over the last week or so...
- Jenny.

59
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,717
I know, I'm not a doctor,
I'm a quitter and a liar.

60
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,888
Seeing as how you're a word guy,
you ever dabble with Scrabble?

61
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:46,293
Oh! Why, yes, Ruth, I've
played a few miles of tiles.

62
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:50,497
So, I assume you know all the
allowable two-letter words.

63
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,699
- I do.
- Even the four new ones?

64
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,569
- Da, gi, po, te.
- Da, gi, po, te.

65
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:56,737
Oh, it is on.

66
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,573
Let's dance, motherfucker.

67
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,579
Jesus.

68
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,014
Is it dead?

69
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,016
I'm afraid so.

70
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,990
Ugh... Oh, God.

71
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,593
- Oh, God.
- No. No, it's okay.

72
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:20,660
- No.
- Don't be sad.

73
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,362
She was old, it was her time.

74
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,399
It's okay. Plus, you can tell from
her teats, she had a lot of pups.

75
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,802
Uh-huh. Excuse me. Just back up.

76
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,471
How do you think it got in the tank?

77
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,740
It must've squeezed in this tiny hole.

78
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,842
Rat fun-fact number 26:

79
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:39,780
A full-grown adult can squeeze
through the hole in a Nigerian penny.

80
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,416
There's a hole in a Nigerian penny?

81
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,587
You don't know that? What... ? What
kind of homeschool did you go to?
82
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,358
I went to a public school.

83
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:52,893
Oh.

84
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,695
I've heard about kids like you.

85
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,533
Breaks my heart. But you
came out good, though.

86
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,970
Well, I should clean this. This
is the water the plants drink.

87
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:05,672
I'll do it.

88
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,909
- You sure?
- Yeah, I actually like cleaning.

89
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,711
Olivia fun fact number 32:

90
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,047
I used to vacuum every
night to drown out the sound

91
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,816
of my mom and my step-dad fighting.

92
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,785
I found out later they
fought just so I'd clean.

93
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,757
Oh, those meth-addled bastards.

94
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,761
Okay, I'll just go bury the dead rat.

95
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:31,431
Pete, it's a dead rat. You're
gonna put it in the dumpster.

96
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,835
Good idea. Closed casket.
Much more respectful.

97
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,674
Check her out, Maria.

98
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,787
A Deluxe Edition signed by none other

99
00:05:43,788 --> 00:05:46,788
than Scrabble inventor
Alfred Butts himself.

100
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,081
Ain't she a beaut?

101
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,750
I didn't know Scrabble
boards were "shes."

102
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,689
Oh, yeah, like ships,
hurricanes, and God.

103
00:05:58,391 --> 00:05:59,459
I'm warning you...

104
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:01,962
this will get intense.

105
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,599
Given our backgrounds,

106
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:08,735
I feel like you and I have
different definitions of "intense."

107
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,539
I'm just saying, she's really vicious.

108
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,375
I mean, I've never beaten
her, and I'm pretty good.

109
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,844
What's your style? You play
for bingos or triple words?

110
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,379
[CHUCKLES] No. I play for fun.

111
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,516
Well, then, pretty good
is all you'll ever be.

112
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,590
Okay, we're all set up. Travis,
pull up a chair, you're in, too.

113
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,392
Ha. No, I'm not.

114
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,527
I'm gonna spend my time
running our business.

115
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,530
You're not gonna goad me into
playing like you usually do.

116
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:38,698
[RUTH] I see.

117
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,467
Uh, one quick question:

118
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:41,968
[CLUCKS]

119
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,907
The chicken thing?
Mom, you're a grownup.

120
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,843
[CLUCKS]

121
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,947
You're a revered political activist.
122
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,915
Aw... [CLUCKING]

123
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:01,087
What is wrong with you?
You're the President Emeritus

124
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,889
of the California Bar Association?

125
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,725
Ah. You mean the
California Bawk Association?

126
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,697
And you're my mother.

127
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:11,765
That's very true.

128
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,566
And you're my daughter.

129
00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,971
Yeah, okay. Strap on
my sports bra. I'm in.

130
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:28,581
Hi, welcome to Strain o' the Day.

131
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,118
Today, we're featuring either the
best weed you've ever smoked...

132
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,853
or nothing.

133
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:38,892
Behold, the paradox that
is Schrödinger's Pot.

134
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,931
In this box is an eighth of
top-shelf cannabis and a vial of water
135
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,969
<i>with a 50-percent chance of spilling,
rendering the pot unsmokeable.</i>

136
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:52,105
Meaning that, according to
the laws of quantum mechanics,

137
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,132
Schrödinger's Pot, as of this moment,

138
00:07:54,133 --> 00:07:57,077
both is and is not ready to fuck you up.

139
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,879
But once you open the box,
quantum decoherence kicks in,

140
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,982
and you'll have either
paradigm-shifting weed

141
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,783
or a wet bag of worthless shit.

142
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,000
No matter what, you'll get high

143
00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,654
just trying to wrap
your head around this

144
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,557
pretentious marketing
idea he came up with.

145
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,861
Excuse me for not trying to say that
pot's not just for stupid people.

146
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,198
So, come on down to
Ruth's Alternative Caring

147
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,899
because when it comes to reality,
148
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,802
- there are many alternatives.
- There are many alternatives.

149
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:24,771
All right, I have to know.

150
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,774
- [MEOWS]
- Wow.

151
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,244
Schrödinger, you son of a bitch.

152
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,716
[SINGING]

153
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,693
- Okay, let's... What?
- Nope, nope. Wait for the flyover.

154
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,028
Pssh...

155
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:55,168
Now to see who goes first, the
ceremonial drawing of the tiles.

156
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,804
Nuh-uh, you know the rules.

157
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,139
Above eye level.

158
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:04,577
[GRUNTS] Scrabble is so
much weirder than I thought!

159
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,314
Damn it. M.

160
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,618
- F.
- Blank. I go first.
161
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,820
- Nope, I go first.
- No, blank can be any letter.

162
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,955
Yeah, I know, and I'm calling it Z.

163
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,564
Let's get ready to Scrabble!

164
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,803
Fare thee well, sweet rat...

165
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:34,741
who we remember as a mother, a
grandmother, a great-grandmother,

166
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,877
a great-great-grandmother...
You get the idea.

167
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:44,317
Jesus, it smells like a joint
took a shit and smoked it.

168
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,252
Hey, Douglas. Sorry about the smell.

169
00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:49,956
We found a dead rat in our water tank.

170
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,691
Well, I'm not surprised.

171
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,260
Yet another death by marijuana overdose.

172
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:57,397
Where's Ruth?

173
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,731
She's inside.

174
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,301
- Do you want me to get her?
- No. [CHUCKLES] No.

175
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,369
But you can get this.

176
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:07,040
You can tell her that in response
to my complaint to the landlord,

177
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,275
he referred me to his
property manager, Gary,

178
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,245
with whom I will be meeting with
no later than next Wednesday,

179
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:16,082
possibly sooner, depending
on Gary's availability.

180
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,086
Okay. I'll let her know.

181
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:22,122
Now get rid of that stink.

182
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,257
Junkie hookers work back here, okay?

183
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:28,828
You know, if the smell
gets into your dojang,

184
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:32,866
I recommend a lemon-verbena candle.
I can bring one over if you like.

185
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,901
Oh, yes!

186
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,769
Oh, I would love that!

187
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,806
Please come over with
a lemon-verbena candle.

188
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,876
Why should I be suspicious
of anyone who works for Ruth

189
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:46,312
and hangs around all day snurfing
darbs and vaping the reef?

190
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,183
Okay, so I'll swing by on my break.

191
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,719
Oh, fantastic. I can't wait to see you.

192
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,891
- Probably 4, 4:30.
- Super!

193
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,937
After strong opening
moves by Carter and Ruth,

194
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,773
young Travis now finds himself alone,

195
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:18,144
trembling in the harsh
glare of the pressure...

196
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,314
and stuff.

197
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,718
Can we lose the color commentary?

198
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,922
You should be glad they're
covering women's sports at all.

199
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,196
I'm serving y'all quinoa.

200
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,868
Seventeen plus four
plus five, that is 26.

201
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:45,004
You could've just put
the Q on the triple letter

202
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,874
and made "qi" and "qi" for
65. What the... ? What the... ?

203
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,813
Okay, whatever. "Quinoa"
is a cooler word.

204
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,182
Oh? Quinoa's cool? Yeah.

205
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,752
Over-cultivation displaced
millions of Peruvians.

206
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,254
But what the fuck? It's cool.

207
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,229
You should always
play "qi" when you can.

208
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:13,232
I mean, it's like the
letter Q get a chance to say:

209
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:18,871
"Hey, I don't need you,
U, 'cause I have I."

210
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,745
Come on. That is
hilarious. That's something.

211
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:34,854
It's sad to see doping have such a
negative effect on the game we love.

212
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:45,298
- [OLIVIA] Hey, Jenny.
- How'd you know it was me?
213
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,891
'Cause even from
inside this scummy tank,

214
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,869
I can smell your
mother's stank-ass tea.

215
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,339
- Would you like to try it?
- Think I'll pass.

216
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,377
Are you sure? My mom claims it
promotes health, intelligence,

217
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,212
and perfectly formed bowel movements.

218
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,315
- And you believe that?
- I know one to be true.

219
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:04,617
All right.

220
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,921
Oh, God. What is in this again?

221
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:12,291
Sorry, that information is only
given on a need-to-vomit basis.

222
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:16,496
But I can tell you, my 90-year-old
great-grandma drinks it every day,

223
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:19,098
and she criticizes me
like a woman half her age.

224
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,100
That's kind of sweet.

225
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,369
Speaking of your family,

226
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,372
when are you gonna tell your mom
you dropped out of med school?

227
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,875
Oh, I don't have to. I
got it all figured out.

228
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,480
I'm gonna fake my graduation,

229
00:13:30,481 --> 00:13:32,211
move to Puerto Rico
for my fake residency,

230
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,814
move back here, start a fake practice.

231
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:39,018
By the way, I'll be looking
for a fake receptionist.

232
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,300
Why don't you and I just smoke a fatty,

233
00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:44,023
and then call your mom together?

234
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,059
No, I... I can't call her high.

235
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,261
Okay, fine. I'll be
high for the both of us.

236
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,530
So, you'll call her?

237
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:53,900
Yeah. I'll do it.

238
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:55,968
Good.
239
00:13:58,271 --> 00:13:59,138
Oh, God.

240
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,374
- The tea hitting your colon?
- Yep. Get me out.

241
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,176
- Okay.
- Get me out of here. My God.

242
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,410
Oh, God!

243
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:07,580
D'oh... Just let it happen.

244
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:20,066
[MARIA] <i>And so the
trinity of word warriors</i>

245
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,228
<i>pursued their bitter rivalry</i>

246
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,428
<i>with a single-mindedness of purpose</i>

247
00:14:24,429 --> 00:14:27,367
<i>that transformed the mahogany-finished,</i>

248
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:30,903
<i>foil-stamped, lazy Susan'd quadrilateral</i>

249
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:34,006
<i>into a 15-by-15 battleground</i>

250
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:37,310
<i>where a hundred tiles
laid down their lives</i>

251
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:41,614
<i>for the lexical supremacy of their
deftly strategizing wielders.</i>

252
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,188
Ruth, you gonna go already?

253
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,992
Earth to Carter, it's your turn.

254
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:56,329
It is?

255
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,264
Wait, what's the order?

256
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,367
Travis, Ruth, who's next?

257
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,270
You know what? This shit
got way too complicated.

258
00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:07,974
No, y'all figure this shit
out, I need to take a timeout.

259
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,944
Does someone need to sit
down and take a tinkle?

260
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,650
Oh, so, wait, you calling
me a girl now, too?

261
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,253
No. I'm a feminist,
I'm calling you a woman.

262
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:26,392
Oh, shit. Look at you, big
man swinging your dick around.

263
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:31,197
Don't flush your tampon.

264
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,277
Skywalker OG. Yes.

265
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:48,648
[IMITATING YODA] Stoned,
I am getting. [LAUGHS]

266
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,416
[SIGHS]

267
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,551
[URINATING]

268
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,208
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

269
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:53,112
[RUTH] Carter, hurry up.
I gotta make a Baby Ruth.

270
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:57,316
[LAUGHING]

271
00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:58,784
[PHONE RINGING]

272
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:05,525
Hi, Mei Mei! Your
father's got a little cold,

273
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,594
so I'm just at the store
picking up some dried snake tail.

274
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:09,762
Whazzup?

275
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,431
Oh, you're busy. Okay.
I'll call you later.

276
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:13,799
Ow.

277
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,502
No, Mom.

278
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:18,604
I need to tell you something.

279
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:22,375
What have you done?
Have you ruined yourself?

280
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,578
Are you dating a man
without an advanced degree?

281
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,747
Is she pregnant?

282
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,183
She doesn't have to be.

283
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:36,222
Mom... you know how much I love you

284
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:39,458
<i>and how much I want you
to be proud of me, but... </i>

285
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,428
I'm a grownup,

286
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:45,464
and I am entitled to make my
own decisions about my life.

287
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,167
I...

288
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:50,169
I dropped out of medical school.

289
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,409
Is she still there?

290
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,477
Yeah.

291
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,379
She's giving me the look.

292
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,783
[IN ENGLISH] You break my heart.
293
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,320
Enjoy your life in the gutter.

294
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,096
Oh, my God.

295
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,467
Yay.

296
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,836
You did it.

297
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:32,545
[NARRATOR] <i>Here in Golden,
Colorado, we're never not high.</i>

298
00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:35,548
<i>We don't boast about it.</i>

299
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,116
<i>It's just how it is... </i>

300
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,754
<i>and has been ever since 1873</i>

301
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:45,224
<i>when a Moravian Protestant
named Adolph Kush</i>

302
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:49,762
<i>started growing premium weed with
crap he found in the Rocky Mountains.</i>

303
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,600
<i>Some folks ask why we still
do it the same way he did</i>

304
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:58,187
<i>despite the innumerable
agricultural advancements</i>

305
00:18:58,188 --> 00:18:59,705
<i>of the last hundred years.</i>

306
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:06,145
<i>To which we say, "You got till
sundown to get out of Golden, Rabbi."</i>

307
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,615
<i>Kush. The banquet weed.</i>

308
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:15,688
With nary a rune left
in the embroidered bag,

309
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,724
the tally comes to... Sweetie,
can you hand me the scorecard?

310
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,894
Thank you so much.

311
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,331
The tally comes to: Ruth, 124,

312
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:30,536
Carter, 263 and Travis, 324.

313
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,771
It's actually happening.

314
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,906
I'm finally gonna beat you, Mom.

315
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,508
Settle down, sunshine.

316
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:38,611
I've still got four tiles left to play.

317
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,312
Oh, shit.

318
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:43,482
You got that new letter they added
to the alphabet worth 300 points?

319
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,353
[LAUGHS] Face it, Mom, it's done.

320
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:52,224
<i>♪ The streak is over, streak is over ♪</i>

321
00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:55,895
Travis, you sing like a white guy.

322
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:02,268
Not like Timberlake, I'm talking
about, like, a real white guy.

323
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,673
Yeah, well, you're right. I
couldn't catch you, Travis.

324
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,609
Ah. Ten years. Been a great run.

325
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:14,447
Wow. "Toe," for five points. That's sad.

326
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,449
No, no, no, thank you. Thank you.

327
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:19,752
You just opened me up for a
triple-triple bingo. That's right.

328
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:20,820
Diatribe.

329
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,923
- I can put the T off of "toe."
- Are you serious?

330
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,224
Oh, I am serious.

331
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,626
Eight times three times
three, again, is 72,

332
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,629
plus the 50 for the bingo,
with the left letter...

333
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:31,997
Oh, my God.

334
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:34,834
Do you believe in miracles?

335
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,538
Yes! Yes, I do believe in miracles!

336
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:40,706
Boom!

337
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,008
What the hell?

338
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,277
You did that on purpose.

339
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,413
Me? I did what?

340
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,381
You had a K left.

341
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,196
You could've played "toke"
right there for more points,

342
00:20:52,197 --> 00:20:53,352
the game would've been over.

343
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,124
Instead, you went way out of your way

344
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:56,722
to set up Carter just so I'd lose.

345
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,924
Oh, please, Miss Paranoia...

346
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,828
I didn't even think of the word "toke."

347
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:06,265
You didn't even think
of the word "toke"?
348
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,834
Wait. Hold on, Trav.

349
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,871
Ruth, did... ? Did you... ?
Did you throw this game?

350
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,973
Oh, come on. Why would I do that?

351
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,475
Because you couldn't stand
the idea of me winning.

352
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:19,011
I mean, if you couldn't win,
at least it wouldn't be me.

353
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:20,646
Oh, come on.

354
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:24,583
I... I think you're making a
whole lot out of a Scrabble match.

355
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:27,386
God, this is so you. You can't
ever let me have anything.

356
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:31,557
This constant... urge to
undercut me at every opportunity.

357
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:33,759
Why?

358
00:21:35,361 --> 00:21:36,428
Why?

359
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:40,933
Not to be redundant, but...

360
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:48,407
He needs to toughen up
a little bit, all right?
361
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,412
Every now and then, the old
lion needs to cuff the cub.

362
00:21:54,446 --> 00:21:57,750
I'm starting to see where
Travis is coming from.

363
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,053
I mean, you just set your
own son up for failure.

364
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:03,556
I set him up to be a fighter.

365
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,725
Let me tell you something, Carter.

366
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:08,694
You survived a war?

367
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:13,566
So did I, and I've been
fighting it all my life.

368
00:22:14,466 --> 00:22:15,568
DEA raids.

369
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,803
Prison, many times.

370
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,072
Nixon. Reagan.

371
00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:25,978
And all of a sudden, there I
am, I'm raising a kid, and I'm...

372
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:29,114
I'm... I'm still
fighting all these things.

373
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:30,449
And...
374
00:22:31,383 --> 00:22:32,585
Man, I just...

375
00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:35,454
Yeah, fuck it.

376
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:37,056
Travis.

377
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:38,624
Hold it.

378
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:43,028
Well, there you have it.

379
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,898
A sad day here at Ruth's
Alternative Caring,

380
00:22:46,632 --> 00:22:50,369
where a Scrabble game birthed
in promise ends in controversy,

381
00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:52,972
heartbreak, and revelations
of a parenting style

382
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,074
straight out of <i>The Great Santini</i>.

383
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:58,844
From the house that Ruth
built, I'm Maria Sherman.

384
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:02,114
Stay tuned for <i>60 Minutes</i> in
its entirety, except on the West Coast.

385
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,416
Good night.

386
00:23:09,154 --> 00:23:11,123
Oh, shit. I have to
put money in the meter.

387
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:26,972
- Hello?
- Oh, you.

388
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:29,041
From the smack house next door.

389
00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:31,844
If you're looking for a
haircut, it's three doors down.

390
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:33,448
If you're looking for 3 Doors Down,

391
00:23:33,449 --> 00:23:35,481
the lead singer lives five doors down.

392
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:37,883
[GRUNTING, THEN CHUCKLES]

393
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:42,087
No. I just brought the
lemon-verbena candle like I said.

394
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:45,791
Here, I'll light it for you.

395
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,667
There you go.

396
00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:59,505
It's a soy candle, so it
should last three times longer.

397
00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:01,139
Happy smelling.

398
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:12,017
So shines a good deed in a weary world.

399
00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:14,720
Wait!

400
00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:17,556
I wanna give you something.
401
00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:24,229
That's a
10-percent-off voucher

402
00:24:24,496 --> 00:24:27,032
- for your first three classes.
- Thanks.

403
00:24:27,099 --> 00:24:30,002
That's 10 percent off of each
class, not 30 percent for one.

404
00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:31,136
Sure.

405
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:34,139
Plus, as an employee
in the retail plaza,

406
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,742
you're already entitled
to a 5-percent discount.

407
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:39,878
- Okay.
- Again, that's for each class.

408
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:43,048
Essentially, it's a 15-percent
discount for each class

409
00:24:43,115 --> 00:24:44,850
up to and including the third, so...

410
00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,118
Sounds good.

411
00:24:46,852 --> 00:24:47,920
Yeah.

412
00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:51,056
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

413
00:24:51,924 --> 00:24:52,991
Namaste.
414
00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:57,996
- Hey, Pete.
- Yeah?

415
00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:01,967
Thirty percent off of
one class is okay, too.

416
00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:04,703
Do not tell anybody, though.

417
00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:20,552
Ah... Verbena.

418
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:33,532
Goodbye, tea.

419
00:25:33,599 --> 00:25:35,667
No, no. Don't say anything.

420
00:25:36,168 --> 00:25:37,536
Just go.

421
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,853
- Ah...
- Ooh...

422
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,122
- [LIPS SMACKING]
- Yum.

423
00:25:57,189 --> 00:25:59,158
- Mm!
- Ah...

424
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:02,161
- [ALL] Mm...
- Yum.

425
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:10,500
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -