1

00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,672

All right, we have a lot
to get through today, you guys.

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,009
Anybody have anything
on page one?

3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:14,181
I think we need to change
this Donald Trump joke--

4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:18,477
because Donald Trump was eaten
by a lion this morning

5
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:21,313
on the International Space Station.

6
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,482
Anyone listening?

7
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:24,441
Yeah, okay, Cerie,

8
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,235
how about instead of
doing the scripts,

9
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,362
why don't you just organize
those videotapes?

10
00:00:28,527 --> 00:00:31,070
Oh, okay.

11
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:40,665
Okay, actually, could you go downstairs
and get me a chai tea?

12
00:00:40,835 --> 00:00:44,589
Okay.
Um, where are my shoes?

13
00:00:47,008 --> 00:00:48,428
No, no, just go.
Just go barefoot!

14
00:00:48,599 --> 00:00:49,503
Just leave you shoes.

15
00:00:49,676 --> 00:00:51,960
Okay.

16
00:00:55,225 --> 00:00:59,142
We gotta change this
Trump joke.

17
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,702
- Mr. Jordan.
- What's up, Ken?

18
00:01:20,878 --> 00:01:22,453
I got your car washed
like you asked.

19
00:01:22,628 --> 00:01:25,662
And I got that "Baby on Board" sign you wanted
to help you get tail.

20
00:01:25,838 --> 00:01:27,542
Thanks, Ken.
You done good.

21
00:01:27,718 --> 00:01:31,213
It's my pleasure and my job, sir.
Anything you ever need, just ask.

22
00:01:31,386 --> 00:01:33,010
But I want you to know something.

23
00:01:33,178 --> 00:01:36,631
You and me, it's not gonna be
a one-way street.

24
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:39,010
'Cause I don't believe in
one-way streets.

25
00:01:39,185 --> 00:01:42,391
Not between people and
not while I'm driving.
26
00:01:42,566 --> 00:01:43,772
Oh, okay.

27
00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:47,351
So here's some advice I wish I would've got
when I was your age.

28
00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:51,730
Live every week
like it's Shark Week.

29
00:01:54,825 --> 00:01:56,151
Excellent call, guys.

30
00:01:56,328 --> 00:01:57,532
Good old Stan there.
Happy Birthday, Stan.

31
00:01:57,706 --> 00:01:59,873
All right,
we're halfway done.

32
00:02:00,035 --> 00:02:01,621
Let's take a little break.

33
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,293
You guys want to have a
one-minute dance party?

34
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,620
Good idea.

35
00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:06,663
Crank it, Toofer.

36
00:02:06,837 --> 00:02:08,960
* Grown and sexy from your head
down to your toes *

37
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:11,792
* You know you're fine

38
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:15,800
* Got that perfect face,
a perfect shape *
39
00:02:15,968 --> 00:02:17,342
* And perfect smile...

40
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:18,431
Yeah, shake it!
Feel the music.

41
00:02:18,595 --> 00:02:19,891
Ahem!

42
00:02:20,055 --> 00:02:22,221
Oh, Mr. Donaghy!

43
00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:24,970
No, please...
finish your dance.

44
00:02:25,148 --> 00:02:26,482
Oh, we were just
taking a little break.

45
00:02:26,645 --> 00:02:29,982
And we all love the music
of Chamillionaire.

46
00:02:30,155 --> 00:02:30,811
I see.

47
00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:34,111
If you don't mind,
I'll just observe from over here.

48
00:02:34,277 --> 00:02:36,611
You will?
Why?

49
00:02:36,786 --> 00:02:38,903
Are you familiar
with Six Sigma?

50
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,991
Oh, yeah, it's a special kind of
G.I. Joe.

51
00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:43,411
It's Frank, right?
52
00:02:43,587 --> 00:02:44,833
Yes, sir.

53
00:02:44,996 --> 00:02:46,870
Yeah. Frank...

54
00:02:47,047 --> 00:02:51,041
Six Sigma is the elite
GE executive training course.

55
00:02:51,215 --> 00:02:56,801
To master just its basic concepts,
one must brave a five-day conference at a Sheraton.

56
00:02:56,965 --> 00:02:59,631
Six Sigma says that a manager
must understand every aspect

57
00:02:59,808 --> 00:03:01,643
of the business
he or she oversees.

58
00:03:01,808 --> 00:03:02,800
Which means?

59
00:03:02,976 --> 00:03:04,510
I'll be in here every day.

60
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,851
Soaking it up.

61
00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:11,142
So please return to work,
and act like I'm not here.

62
00:03:15,115 --> 00:03:16,531
Okay.

63
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,651
Let's, uh, get into
Toofer's commercial parody.

64
00:03:19,828 --> 00:03:22,362
We were trying to think of
a funnier cereal name.
65
00:03:22,538 --> 00:03:26,582
The favorite options so far include
Honey Bunches of Sadness,

66
00:03:26,746 --> 00:03:30,291
Oat Bung,
and Swaztik-o's.

67
00:03:30,665 --> 00:03:32,003
Fruit Lupus.

68
00:03:32,176 --> 00:03:33,002
No.

69
00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:34,541
Dingleberries.

70
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,503
Fart Nuggets.

71
00:03:41,098 --> 00:03:42,722
I'm sorry.

72
00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:44,432
That's really great.

73
00:03:44,608 --> 00:03:46,560
Okay, let's just think
for another minute.

74
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,142
Frosted Mini Guns.

75
00:03:49,317 --> 00:03:50,811
Lucky Bastards?

76
00:03:50,988 --> 00:03:53,813
If you don't mind, I think
we all really laughed at Fart Nuggets,

77
00:03:53,987 --> 00:03:56,770
so could we just move on,
please.

78
00:03:56,948 --> 00:03:59,740
Every day, huh?

79
00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:01,490
You guys want coffee?

80
00:04:01,656 --> 00:04:02,910
Oh, yeah.

81
00:04:03,075 --> 00:04:05,120
So I was doing some
research on comedy.

82
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,080
And I came across
the cartoon strip Dilbert.

83
00:04:07,246 --> 00:04:08,161
It's quite good.

84
00:04:08,336 --> 00:04:10,583
And I was wondering
if we could do that.

85
00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:11,963
Do what?

86
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,580
Dilbert.

87
00:04:17,426 --> 00:04:18,382
You guys want coffee?

88
00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:19,421
Oh, yeah.

89
00:04:19,597 --> 00:04:21,553
No, no, no,
you can't say that.

90
00:04:21,726 --> 00:04:23,380
Jeb Bush is a friend
of mine.

91
00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:25,222
Who should I change it to?
92
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:27,853
Sean Penn--
No, Barbra Streisand.

93
00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:29,641
He guns it.
Girl falls into the water.

94
00:04:29,817 --> 00:04:30,771
You guys want coffee?

95
00:04:30,935 --> 00:04:33,061
So we circle back
looking for her.

96
00:04:33,237 --> 00:04:34,441
Remember, it's pitch black out.

97
00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:37,021
The boat hits something hard.

98
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:40,570
And you hear kind of...

99
00:04:41,246 --> 00:04:44,702
And Brokaw says, "Just go.
Don't look back."

100
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:50,292
Now...I'm not a writer,
but maybe there's a skit in that.

101
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,880
Hey. What?

102
00:05:00,056 --> 00:05:01,550
So is Donaghy gonna be
in the room again today?

103
00:05:01,716 --> 00:05:03,172
Ugh. Probably, yeah.

104
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:04,553
Well, you have to say
something to him.
105
00:05:04,727 --> 00:05:06,343
You guys are not getting
any work done.

106
00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:07,010
Really?

107
00:05:07,185 --> 00:05:09,221
You don't think his idea
of starting with the catchphrases

108
00:05:09,406 --> 00:05:11,470
and working backwards
is panning out?

109
00:05:11,647 --> 00:05:14,940
"Nuts to you, McGullicuty."

110
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:18,400
"Who ordered the wieners?"

111
00:05:18,566 --> 00:05:20,773
Beep beep!
Ribby ribby!

112
00:05:20,947 --> 00:05:26,412
Actually, Frank wrote a draft
of "Beep beep, ribby ribby."

113
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:33,041
Look, you have to say something to Jack soon,
or your writers are going to revolt.

114
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,451
What do you all
not understand?

115
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,663
He's our boss.

116
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:39,542
Me trying to tell Jack what to do
would be like you trying to boss around--

117
00:05:39,716 --> 00:05:42,250
Which one of your kids is it
that you're afraid of?

118
00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:45,090
Kyle.
Kyle.

119
00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:47,892
So strong.

120
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,931
Oh, come on!

121
00:05:50,106 --> 00:05:51,352
That was a jacket.

122
00:05:51,515 --> 00:05:53,062
That's it, I've gotta talk to her
about her clothes.

123
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,101
She can't dress like that.

124
00:05:54,276 --> 00:05:55,022
Yes, she can.

125
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,063
People like the way she dresses.

126
00:05:56,238 --> 00:05:57,900
Oh, come on, it's distracting.
It's inappropriate.

127
00:05:58,068 --> 00:06:00,562
You're inappropriate, you jerk,
with your big stupid face!

128
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,231
- Come on.
- Liz, listen, listen, listen.

129
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,532
Look at me.

130
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,822
Look how bald I am.
Look at my life.

131
00:06:06,997 --> 00:06:08,741
Please, just give me
this one thing.

132
00:06:08,915 --> 00:06:11,073
Pete, no, come on!
I'm talking to her.

133
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,490
Talk to yourself!

134
00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:14,912
Cha!

135
00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:21,501
Kenny, my boy.
What's the frequency, Ken?

136
00:06:21,675 --> 00:06:23,212
Yeah, I need you to grab me some lunch.

137
00:06:23,387 --> 00:06:24,923
Absolutely.
What can I get for you?

138
00:06:25,096 --> 00:06:26,722
- I want nachos.
- Yes, sir.

139
00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:28,471
From Yankee Stadium.

140
00:06:28,635 --> 00:06:30,893
Yes, sir!

141
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:33,602
General testing
for United Nations Bloopers.

142
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,723
Oh, hey, Cerie.

143
00:06:34,898 --> 00:06:36,560
Kind of need to talk to you
about something.

144
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,645
Do you have a second?

145
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,949
Sure.

146
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:46,368
Okay, this is gonna sound really weird,
but, um...you need to wear a bra.

147
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:48,531
Oh, no,
I don't actually.

148
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:51,533
They kind of just stay up
on their own.

149
00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:52,621
See? Yeah, okay.

150
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:56,952
What I'm saying is,
you need to wear a bra to work

151
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,830
if you want to be taken seriously
in this business.

152
00:07:00,007 --> 00:07:03,132
No, but I don't actually want to
work in television.

153
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:07,012
Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich
and then design handbags.

154
00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:08,130
Here's the thing.

155
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:13,602
The way that you dress is making some people
around the office uncomfortable.

156
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,891
Really?
Who?

157
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,471
Not me!

158
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,850
I guess it's mostly me
that has the problem with it.

159
00:07:21,026 --> 00:07:24,192
Oh, because you have, like,
one of those body image things?

160
00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:25,482
No, it's not that.

161
00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:29,070
Good, because I was gonna say
you still have a good body.

162
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,322
Well, thank you,
but this isn't about me.

163
00:07:31,498 --> 00:07:33,953
Like, how did you dress
before you were married?

164
00:07:34,126 --> 00:07:35,450
I'm not married, Cerie.

165
00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:38,292
Oh, for some reason,
I thought you had, like, three kids.

166
00:07:38,456 --> 00:07:39,332
Nope.

167
00:07:39,508 --> 00:07:41,081
Never married,
no kids.

168
00:07:41,257 --> 00:07:44,421
'Cause sometimes you have, like,
food stains on your shirt and stuff.
169
00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:46,382
I just assumed that it was kids.

170
00:07:46,555 --> 00:07:47,343
You know what?

171
00:07:47,507 --> 00:07:51,801
Forget I mentioned it.
You look great.

172
00:07:56,056 --> 00:07:57,183
Is it my birthday?

173
00:07:57,356 --> 00:07:59,520
You have to get Donaghy
out of the room.

174
00:07:59,685 --> 00:08:02,983
Boy, we as a group
might not smell great.

175
00:08:03,155 --> 00:08:04,021
Come on,
he's stifling us.

176
00:08:04,198 --> 00:08:07,022
I feel like I just can't
be myself around him.

177
00:08:07,197 --> 00:08:11,651
Yeah, Tracy's downstairs right now
rehearsing the best thing we've written all week.

178
00:08:11,826 --> 00:08:15,202
Beep beep! Ribby ribby!

179
00:08:15,626 --> 00:08:18,201
All right.

180
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,162
Ugh.

181
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,831
All right.
I'll take care of it.
182
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,710
Thanks, Liz.

183
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,130
Hey, Mr. Donaghy.

184
00:08:30,307 --> 00:08:30,963
Sorry I'm late.

185
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,552
I was at a luncheon for
Ann Coulter's 60th birthday.

186
00:08:33,725 --> 00:08:34,381
Oh, yeah.

187
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:38,311
Listen, it's been really great
having you in the room these last few days--

188
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:41,230
Oh, it's been great for me, too.
Being around all this creativity.

189
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:44,270
I'll tell you, in the beginning
I thought it was gonna be a bit of a chore honestly,

190
00:08:44,447 --> 00:08:46,811
but now--
Oh, I have an idea for you.

191
00:08:46,988 --> 00:08:48,980
Monkey Senate.
We open on the Capitol--

192
00:08:49,158 --> 00:08:51,152
You can't be in here anymore!

193
00:08:51,327 --> 00:08:51,991
What's that?

194
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,281
It's not working.
You're driving everybody crazy.
195
00:08:54,455 --> 00:09:01,161
And, okay, you can just fire me now,
and I will go back to teaching improv to senior citizens.

196
00:09:01,337 --> 00:09:05,173
Why would I want to fire you?
This is fine.

197
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:11,960
Six Sigma values direct and honest communication
between coworkers, so, uh...

198
00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:13,973
Thank you, Liz.

199
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,680
Oh, sure.

200
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,260
I'll just, uh,
head upstairs now.

201
00:09:19,436 --> 00:09:23,310
Okay, well, thank you for
being so understanding.

202
00:09:23,486 --> 00:09:26,140
Absolutely.

203
00:09:41,588 --> 00:09:43,252
Oh, no.

204
00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:47,171
I will not let you down, sir.

205
00:10:00,307 --> 00:10:03,391
Go get help, girl.

206
00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:10,651
Hey, Jonathan,
I left a bunch of messages for Jack,

207
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,232
but I haven't heard back.
Do you know if he got them?
208
00:10:12,407 --> 00:10:14,823
Mr. Donaghy's been very busy.

209
00:10:14,998 --> 00:10:17,613
Well, I just--I really need him
to approve this budget.

210
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:19,111
Well, I'm sorry.

211
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:24,203
He's out of the country
till the end of the week.

212
00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:29,333
You want to know another key
to success?

213
00:10:29,507 --> 00:10:30,792
I do, Mr. Jordan.

214
00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:36,801
Dress every day like you're gonna
get murdered in those clothes.

215
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:39,130
You did real good the other day
with those nachos,

216
00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:43,220
but I need you to do something
of a different nature.

217
00:10:43,397 --> 00:10:46,562
Would you agree when I say
that a man's freedom only exists

218
00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:49,942
when he's free
to pursue his desires?

219
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,561
Yes, I suppose I would.

220
00:10:51,737 --> 00:10:55,903
Which means when the law conflicts
with our desires,

221
00:10:56,076 --> 00:11:00,283
then we must operate
outside the law.

222
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,160
You following me?

223
00:11:04,337 --> 00:11:08,623
Otherwise, we would
no longer be free.

224
00:11:10,296 --> 00:11:13,501
Now I got a mission for you.

225
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:14,710
Hey, Liz!

226
00:11:14,888 --> 00:11:17,382
I took your advice.
I'm wearing a bra.

227
00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:18,921
That's great, Cerie.

228
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:20,880
Uh, Liz, can I speak
to you for a second?

229
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,350
Sure.

230
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:24,561
What's going on?

231
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,183
Mr. Donaghy is very upset
that you banned him from the writers' room.

232
00:11:27,357 --> 00:11:29,181
He wants you to apologize.

233
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,272
Really?
234
00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:32,653
But when you apologize, you have to act
like it was your idea.

235
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,273
He can't know that I told you.

236
00:11:34,446 --> 00:11:37,482
But he sent you here
to tell me to apologize.

237
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,240
Exactly.
I penciled you in for 3:00.

238
00:11:40,406 --> 00:11:44,372
This conversation never happened.

239
00:11:44,587 --> 00:11:50,371
Jenna, set yourself, please,
for Who Wants to Eat a Dictionary?

240
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,292
Where's Kenneth?

241
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,181
Who is it?

242
00:12:08,357 --> 00:12:10,391
It's Kenneth from
the NBC page program.

243
00:12:10,565 --> 00:12:14,863
I'm here for a pickup
from Qiang Deng.

244
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,110
Hello, gentlemen.

245
00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:20,073
Oh, thank goodness.
Air conditioning.

246
00:12:20,248 --> 00:12:21,572
Ooh, what does
that tattoo mean?

247
00:12:21,747 --> 00:12:23,782
When I get nervous,
I ask a lot of questions.

248
00:12:23,955 --> 00:12:25,661
Do y'all have
a bathroom I could use?

249
00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:27,533
Y'all have long fingernails.

250
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,871
Now do y'all rent this space,
or do you own it?

251
00:12:30,045 --> 00:12:32,663
Hey, that's
a funny-looking fish.

252
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,923
What is that,
like a grapefruit knife?

253
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,673
Do you have a cell phone?
What's your plan?

254
00:12:37,848 --> 00:12:40,052
This apology thing is interesting.

255
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:44,223
Ugh, even when it's something normal
I hate going up to Jack's office.

256
00:12:44,386 --> 00:12:46,352
I always feel like
I'm entering the Death Star.

257
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,182
I expect to see Stormtroopers.

258
00:12:48,358 --> 00:12:50,270
I tell you,
if Donaghy does this at me,
259
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,392
I will run.

260
00:12:51,565 --> 00:12:53,443
You'll be fine...
Captain Needa.

261
00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:57,152
No, Captain Needa dies.
He dies!

262
00:12:57,316 --> 00:13:00,232
* There's no business
like show business *

263
00:13:00,508 --> 00:13:03,532
* Like no business I know

264
00:13:03,705 --> 00:13:06,953
* Everything about it
is appealing *

265
00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:10,412
* Everything the traffic will allow *

266
00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:13,462
* Nowhere can you get
that special feeling *

267
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:18,252
* Than when you're stealing
that extra bow *

268
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,172
What can I do for you?

269
00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:25,132
I'm on a helicopter
in 15 minutes.

270
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:29,681
Uh, well, sir,
I just wanted to say, um,

271
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,432
I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings
the other day

272
00:13:32,606 --> 00:13:34,692
when I asked you to stay out
of the writers' room.

273
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,100
That's absurd.
Completely unnecessary.

274
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,483
I haven't given it
a second thought.

275
00:13:38,656 --> 00:13:41,780
Okay, good, 'cause, you know, the writers,
they see you as management--

276
00:13:41,948 --> 00:13:44,903
Please, it's water
under the bridge.

277
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:49,581
Stop worrying and just
go on back to work.

278
00:13:51,548 --> 00:13:55,250
Of course, I can understand how you might think
my feelings were hurt.

279
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,713
No one wants to hear
that people don't like you.

280
00:13:57,887 --> 00:13:58,580
What, no?

281
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,673
No, that's not at
all what I was saying before.

282
00:14:00,845 --> 00:14:02,461
I never said that people
don't like you.

283
00:14:02,636 --> 00:14:03,460
That's not true.
284
00:14:03,637 --> 00:14:06,183
So, people do like me?

285
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,342
Yes, people like you.

286
00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:11,392
Do you like me?

287
00:14:11,568 --> 00:14:12,762
Of course.

288
00:14:12,937 --> 00:14:15,933
I like you.
Jack.

289
00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:17,191
You know what
I like about you?

290
00:14:17,355 --> 00:14:19,403
Mmm.

291
00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:21,153
Your eyes.

292
00:14:21,325 --> 00:14:25,361
You have those
black shark's eyes.

293
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,450
You know?
Very intense.

294
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,413
Thank you.

295
00:14:30,576 --> 00:14:33,122
Anyway...

296
00:14:42,886 --> 00:14:44,921
You done good, kid.

297
00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:47,842
That thing ever goes missing
and gets into the public water system,

298
00:14:48,015 --> 00:14:49,051
we don't know each other.

299
00:14:49,225 --> 00:14:49,683
Got it.

300
00:14:49,846 --> 00:14:51,430
I got one little errand
for you to run.

301
00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:54,683
Tomorrow's my anniversary,
and I almost forgot about it.

302
00:14:54,855 --> 00:14:57,483
But what did I tell you was the secret
to having a good marriage

303
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:59,312
and keeping it together,
Kenneth?

304
00:14:59,487 --> 00:15:03,731
Be a good listener, a giver of gifts,
and work that va-jay-jay.

305
00:15:03,905 --> 00:15:05,572
That's my boy!

306
00:15:05,736 --> 00:15:10,320
That's why I want you
to go see my jeweler.

307
00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:15,330
Good morning, Liz.

308
00:15:15,495 --> 00:15:17,291
Oh, hi, Mr. Donaghy.
How are you?

309
00:15:17,455 --> 00:15:18,001
Fine, thank you.

310
00:15:18,165 --> 00:15:22,500
I remember you mentioning what a big fan you are
of the rapper Chamillionaire.

311
00:15:22,678 --> 00:15:24,840
'Cause I was dancing
with Frank?

312
00:15:25,006 --> 00:15:27,971
Oh, yes, yeah.
I love Chamillionaire.

313
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:31,431
Well, it just so happens that he's performing
this weekend at Webster Hall,

314
00:15:31,595 --> 00:15:35,600
and I got some VIP tickets
and backstage passes.

315
00:15:35,766 --> 00:15:37,720
You could take the writers
or a lady friend.

316
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,143
Whatever.
Enjoy yourself.

317
00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:41,853
You deserve it.

318
00:15:42,027 --> 00:15:43,153
Wow. Thank you.

319
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,570
That's very thoughtful.

320
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,571
Well, I think that coworkers should have
good personal relationships.

321
00:15:47,735 --> 00:15:51,451
I know we've had some missteps,
but we've put all that behind us.

322
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:55,330
And I'd like us to be...
friendly.

323
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:58,503
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, so do I.

324
00:15:58,665 --> 00:16:01,543
Wow, I just can't believe
Chamillionaire tickets were still available.

325
00:16:01,715 --> 00:16:04,253
Ah, well.

326
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,421
See ya.

327
00:16:07,596 --> 00:16:11,881
Josh to stage, please,
for Homophobic Hague.

328
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:12,892
What was that about?

329
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,763
Just talking to my "bud,"
Jack Donaghy.

330
00:16:14,936 --> 00:16:15,800
Bud, really?

331
00:16:15,978 --> 00:16:17,600
Yes, he said he wants us
to be friends.

332
00:16:17,765 --> 00:16:19,141
He gave me Chamillionaire tickets.

333
00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:21,063
And he even did this to me.

334
00:16:21,235 --> 00:16:23,732
Wow, look, having Jack on your side
can only make life easier.

335
00:16:23,907 --> 00:16:25,400
It's good for everybody
if he wants to be friends.

336
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,361
I know, but it's so weird.

337
00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:27,652
It's like that scene
where you see the back

338
00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:29,323
of Darth Vader's head
with his helmet off,

339
00:16:29,485 --> 00:16:31,823
and you're like,
"Oh! He's a human being!"

340
00:16:31,997 --> 00:16:33,112
I gotta get some new DVDs.

341
00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:34,410
Did we just go in a circle?

342
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:35,570
Yeah. I was following you.

343
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:36,373
I was following you.

344
00:16:36,536 --> 00:16:37,663
No, I'm going to wardrobe.

345
00:16:37,835 --> 00:16:41,333
Okay, good walk and talk.

346
00:16:42,756 --> 00:16:45,960
Lee, can I check costumes
for the cold open?

347
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,382
That looks fierce.

348
00:16:48,555 --> 00:16:49,250
Hey, Liz.

349
00:16:49,428 --> 00:16:51,973
Cerie, seriously,
take that off.

350
00:16:52,135 --> 00:16:54,223
And you,
stop encouraging her.

351
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,393
You're an enabler.

352
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,353
You need to dress
like you have a job.

353
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:04,021
And parents who raised you
in some kind of shamed-based American religious tradition.

354
00:17:04,195 --> 00:17:06,313
Here.

355
00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:08,152
I can make this hot.

356
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,692
Now I get to pick out
what I think you'd look good in.

357
00:17:10,868 --> 00:17:13,860
Oh, I'm not really
a fashion person.

358
00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:15,113
You're wearing this.

359
00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:16,241
Come on, no.

360
00:17:16,418 --> 00:17:16,951
I'm serious.

361
00:17:17,127 --> 00:17:18,453
This color would be
amazing on you.

362
00:17:18,626 --> 00:17:22,331
And you're a size four, right?

363
00:17:22,507 --> 00:17:25,873
Well, aren't you sweet?

364
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,363
Hey, guys, what's up?

365
00:17:51,535 --> 00:17:54,491
Ugh! Oh, my God!

366
00:17:56,455 --> 00:17:57,612
What are you wearing?!

367
00:17:57,788 --> 00:17:58,910
You're making me gay.

368
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:03,253
It's a joke, obviously.
I'm wearing this as a joke!

369
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,463
Bunch of comedy writers
don't know a joke, jeez.

370
00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:07,170
I just threw up in my mouth.

371
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,463
I said it's a joke!

372
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,181
Work it, Craig! Whoo!

373
00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:21,761
I think I'm having
a heart attack.

374
00:18:21,938 --> 00:18:23,522
Excellent, right here.
Thank you.

375
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:24,983
Oh, pizza!
376
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,892
Thank you, sir.

377
00:18:27,068 --> 00:18:29,650
Hey, Liz, can we eat this out
on the roof gardens?

378
00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:31,063
I don't even know
how to get out there.

379
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,231
I don't think people
are allowed out there.

380
00:18:32,408 --> 00:18:34,610
No, I see Today Show people
eating out there all the time.

381
00:18:34,788 --> 00:18:36,571
Really?
Even Ann Curry?

382
00:18:36,745 --> 00:18:43,833
I'll show you the studio in just a minute,
but first, this is where my writers write.

383
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,542
Don't mind the odor.

384
00:18:46,716 --> 00:18:49,630
But seriously, since Tracy's arrival
the show is up in the key demos.

385
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:54,762
We're driving male viewership,
and we're effectively synergizing backward overflow.

386
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:57,761
Please, Liz,
let us eat outside.

387
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,470
You know what?
I'll ask Jack.

388
00:18:59,645 --> 00:19:00,973
He'll let us eat out there,
right?

389
00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:05,142
He and I have
an important friendship.

390
00:19:05,317 --> 00:19:06,980
Hey, they didn't bring any sodas.

391
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:10,232
I'll call Kenneth.

392
00:19:12,817 --> 00:19:16,492
Seriously,
where is Kenneth?

393
00:19:18,506 --> 00:19:22,282
Happy anniversary,
Mrs. Jordan.

394
00:19:22,456 --> 00:19:26,120
Excuse me, do y'all just have
noodles with butter?

395
00:19:26,296 --> 00:19:29,160
Hey, Jack!
Sorry to interrupt.

396
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,421
Hey, can we eat
our pizza outside?

397
00:19:31,586 --> 00:19:33,463
'Cause those wangs from the Today Show
eat on the roof garden

398
00:19:33,635 --> 00:19:37,133
all the time, and, you know,
since I thought me and you are best buds--boink!

399
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:40,761
Maybe you could do me a solid
and slip me the key to that thing.

400
00:19:40,938 --> 00:19:41,932
This guy's the best.

401
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,143
He got me kick-ass
Chamillionaire tickets.

402
00:19:44,306 --> 00:19:45,471
You guys like Chamillionaire?

403
00:19:45,646 --> 00:19:49,850
Anyway, Jack rocks.
This guy, A-plus.

404
00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:53,063
Excuse me for a moment.

405
00:19:53,237 --> 00:19:55,523
I'm sorry for what's about to
happen right now.

406
00:19:55,698 --> 00:19:56,941
Just know that I don't mean it.

407
00:19:57,115 --> 00:19:58,113
Don't mean what?

408
00:19:58,288 --> 00:20:01,702
What group home did you escape from
that you would dare talk to me

409
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,913
like some plumber's wife
in front of Ron Gordon and Bob Overmeyer?

410
00:20:06,087 --> 00:20:07,243
I don't even know
who those guys are.

411
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:07,912
Oh, really?

412
00:20:08,085 --> 00:20:11,753
Your ignorance was obvious
when you waddled up to me
with your thin-lipped mouth

413
00:20:11,927 --> 00:20:14,841
full of greasy peasant food
and addressed me by my Christian name

414
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,803
in front of the gentlemen
from Fairfield.

415
00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:18,630
That's Fairfield,
Connecticut, Lemon.

416
00:20:18,805 --> 00:20:19,673
GE Headquarters.

417
00:20:19,847 --> 00:20:22,930
But how would you know that
with your nigh-40 years of public education

418
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:24,762
and daytime television viewing?

419
00:20:24,935 --> 00:20:27,683
If you ever pull a bush league
stunt like that again,

420
00:20:27,856 --> 00:20:29,681
I'm gonna have you writing
promos for Arena Football

421
00:20:29,856 --> 00:20:33,481
so fast it'll make
your inexplicably small head spin.

422
00:20:33,657 --> 00:20:36,191
Oh, snap.

423
00:20:39,617 --> 00:20:41,610
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

424
00:20:41,788 --> 00:20:43,200
I thought you said
we were friends.

425
00:20:43,365 --> 00:20:44,820
I said we were friendly.
426
00:20:44,997 --> 00:20:46,910
Well, I don't like you anymore.

427
00:20:47,086 --> 00:20:50,290
I don't believe you.

428
00:20:51,008 --> 00:20:54,250
Go easy on the pizza.

429
00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:59,252
Subs by Raceman and Traff
www.forom.com

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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