{144}{226}Sorry, I don't shake hands.|I have avian bone syndrome. {230}{255}Hollow bones. {259}{341}Tracy Jordan, the Black Crusaders|are coming for you. {345}{394}The top law firm in Cleveland wants me. {398}{432}God's sakes, Tracy, where are you? {436}{464}Starting a new life. {468}{523}Because of the Black Crusaders?|That's crazy. {527}{567}- Will you marry me?|- No. {571}{600}I took that job. {604}{619}Blurgh. {623}{675}Where was Kenneth?|Let's find out. {679}{730}Cough. {734}{794}And cough. {798}{854}And cough. {858}{938}Okay, now let's start the examination. {942}{993}- Are you getting enough sleep?|- No. {997}{1041}- You drinking water?|- No. {1045}{1099}- Are u exercising at all?|- No. {1103}{1166}- And you're still working those long hours?|- Yes. {1170}{1195}I feel great. {1199}{1233}My wedding's in a couple of days. {1237}{1284}Your 18th, right?|Same as Bianca's. {1288}{1331}I guess our friends|will just have to choose between us. {1335}{1471}My mother's coming up from Florida|to attend Bianca's wedding, so it's perfect. {1475}{1514}Do you... {1518}{1617}have any questions about the wedding night? {1621}{1670}You know, you're actually|in better shape than last year. {1674}{1744}You lost a couple pounds,|your lab work is good, {1748}{1785}and your blood pressure is... {1789}{1876}310 over 280!|We have a winner. {1880}{1919}How's the stress eating? {1923}{1955}Under control. {1959}{1993}Still not eating right, huh? {1997}{2044}No, but I am eating a lot. {2048}{2123}You sound stressed. {2131}{2190}My boyfriend is moving to Cleveland. {2194}{2252}But I'm gonna go visit him|over vacation. {2256}{2290}And my boss is super-mad at me {2294}{2370}because I know that he fell asleep|on top of his fianc�e. {2374}{2418}Have I given you my new book? {2422}{2468}It's about having|a satisfying love life. {2472}{2511}For life. {2515}{2552}Is that you in these pictures? {2556}{2626}My techniques guarantee male orgasm. {2630}{2698}And it's the season finale|of my show this week, {2702}{2753}and the star is missing,|and my have been abducted {2757}{2828}by a cabal of powerful black celebrities! {2832}{2895}That sounds stressful. {2899}{2976}Has anybody heard from Tracy at all? {2980}{3027}Grizz, Dotcom, anything? {3031}{3158}Well, I guess if he's not back by tomorrow morning,|we'll give some of his parts to Josh and... {3162}{3199}cut the rest. {3203}{3235}Can I play Barack Obama? {3239}{3302}No, it's bad enough|we have Tracy playing Barack Obama. {3306}{3357}I'm trying to get a head count|for the end-of-the-year party. {3361}{3417}Should I include Tracy and his guests,|or do you think he's dead? {3421}{3468}He's not dead, he's just... {3472}{3528}Lemon, could I speak with you a moment? {3532}{3576}I know you and I are not on good terms. {3580}{3640}But we do need to work together|to bring Tracy back here. {3644}{3684}Do you think I'm trying to not find Tracy? {3688}{3746}Well, Lemon, I cannot endure another failure. {3750}{3767}Jack, trust me. {3771}{3823}Nobody wants to do the show without Tracy. {3827}{3878}We used to do it every week without him. {3882}{3902}I'm just saying. {3906}{3942}Ugh! I hope he's okay. {3946}{3978}I hope he's taking his medication. {3982}{4123}And I hope he took a jacket,|'cause it can get real chilly there. {4145}{4228}I'm sorry, but I swore|I wouldn't tell anyone where Tracy is. {4232}{4302}Kenneth, my ex-girlfriend|is a member of the Black Crusaders. {4306}{4340}I can make all this go away. {4344}{4381}My lips are sealed. {4385}{4427}Key in pocket. {4431}{4475}- You are pissing off the wrong guy, Parcell.|- You turd-faced goon. {4479}{4525}- I will cut you open like a tauntaun...|- You tell me where he is.... {4529}{4609}you mouth-breathing Appalachian! {4613}{4640}Fine. {4644}{4676}I will tell you. {4680}{4717}Right now. {4721}{4818}That you are never gonna find him. {5455}{5489}Mr. Jordan! {5493}{5551}Mr. Jordan! {5555}{5609}Uh, I think you have me|confused with someone else. {5613}{5669}My name is Gordon Tremeshko. {5673}{5725}Oh. {5749}{5791}I'm Jesse Parcell. {5795}{5856}Kenny's cousin. {5860}{5940}Kenny should have given you the code word. {5944}{5964}What? {5968}{6002}That's it! {6006}{6043}Such a thrill to meet you. {6047}{6084}Hey, thanks for taking me in, Jesse. {6088}{6117}I won't be a burden. {6121}{6184}Now make me a smoothie|and let's go clubbing. {6188}{6275}Oh...we don't have dancin' or liquor here. {6279}{6362}But cousin Kenneth sent me all your movies. {6366}{6505}At night, I laugh so hard,|it really riles up the wolves, yeah! {6509}{6589}Oh, I loved Honky Grandma Be Trippin'! {6593}{6604}This-- {6608}{6661}Check it, check it. {6665}{6692}Now, you boys sit down, {6696}{6772}so this honky grandma gonna|show you how to break dance! {6776}{6839}Then he went--ooh! {6843}{6870}Check it two times. {6874}{6987}It was so funny,|I nearly wet my other pair of underpants! {6991}{7021}Did you call Tracy's wife on the phone? {7025}{7117}Yeah, as far as she knew, he's been shooting|a vampire movie in Bucharest since February. {7121}{7177}Lemon, I'm getting married|in a couple of days, {7181}{7278}and I don't need any more stress|in my life right now. {7282}{7304}Jackie-kins! {7308}{7357}Colleen! I mean, Mom! {7361}{7419}Ohh! Never mind! {7423}{7474}Well, well, well, well, well. {7478}{7522}Ha ha, this must be the one. {7526}{7544}Huh? {7548}{7592}Phoebe. Welcome! {7596}{7613}- No, no, no.|- No, I-- {7617}{7635}Welcome, welcome, welcome! {7639}{7683}Mother, mother... this is not Phoebe. {7687}{7750}No, no. This is not Phoebe? {7754}{7795}Well, why the hell not? {7799}{7841}I mean, she's perfect. {7845}{7898}Character, she got strength of character. {7902}{7932}And I'll tell you something else. {7936}{8035}She's got a good, solid, baby bucket. {8039}{8097}You are a sassy old broad, aren't you? {8101}{8121}Hello. {8125}{8155}Uh, mother, this is Phoebe. {8159}{8186}Phoebe, this is my mother. {8190}{8261}Hello, Mother Doneghy. I'm Phoebe. {8265}{8316}It's such a pleasure to meet you. {8320}{8390}I love your little hat. {8394}{8458}Oh, my God. {8528}{8582}Hmm. {8598}{8625}I'll get it. {8629}{8656}Hello? {8660}{8752}Rooster, this is the farmer.|Is the egg safe? {8756}{8802}The egg is in the nest. {8806}{8822}Good. {8826}{8848}But be careful. {8852}{8958}The badger and the bear|have been asking questions. {8962}{8997}I don't know who you're talking about. {9001}{9061}Listen, you don't have|to worry about Tracy, okay? {9065}{9150}He's with his biggest fan. {9164}{9184}Hillbilly. {9188}{9229}- Hayseed.|- Was that Kenneth? {9233}{9258}What's going on in New York? {9262}{9311}Did he go to Russell Simmons' birthday party? {9315}{9359}Were there girls there with butts? {9363}{9435}Mr. Jordan, you need to|forget about New York. {9439}{9488}You're not a movie star anymore. {9492}{9541}Your name's Gordon Tremeshko. {9545}{9642}You live in Needmore, Pennsylvania,|where we don't go out at night. {9646}{9689}'Cause of the wolves. {9693}{9750}Right. {9806}{9881}I nearly almost got through the whole season|without him going completely bonkers. {9885}{9920}But now, you know, he's just gone. {9924}{9982}And if he doesn't get back in time,|I'm gonna have to rewrite the whole show. {9986}{10097}Hey, I'm sorry, but can we talk|about something besides work? {10101}{10155}Um, okay. {10159}{10195}What's the weather like there? {10199}{10234}Um... {10238}{10284}it's actually in the mid-40s. {10288}{10363}Oh, really, 'cause it's--|it's low '40s here. {10367}{10402}Really? {10406}{10474}- Yeah.|- Wow. {10537}{10572}So what are you doing? {10576}{10617}I'm, uh... {10621}{10665}I'm waiting for the bus. {10669}{10701}So, uh... {10705}{10783}I should probably just focus--|focus on that, you know. {10787}{10843}- Oh, okay. Um, call me later?|- Ok, bye. {10847}{10935}No, I haven't found him yet. {10964}{11039}I have to go to dinner tonight|with my mother and Phoebe. {11043}{11099}And my mother has requested that you join us. {11103}{11133}She...likes you. {11137}{11150}Uhh! No way. {11154}{11186}She's not asking. {11190}{11210}She's telling. {11214}{11258}Please. {11262}{11303}And try to get her to like Phoebe. {11307}{11363}Just a little, okay? {11367}{11382}You owe me. {11386}{11442}Okay, fine. But I want a lobster. {11446}{11454}Okay. {11458}{11502}I want two lobsters! {11506}{11605}Totaling five pounds of lobster meat. {11609}{11680}And then after that, we can clean|the dead birds out of the chimney. {11684}{11732}That's why we bought these metal rods. {11736}{11780}Don't you just love spring? {11784}{11833}Baltimore was amazing. {11837}{11905}You know Wacky Willy,|that DJ from 102.7? {11909}{11960}We totally did it in the prize van. {11964}{12046}I'll pretty much do anything|to someone that's famous. {12050}{12099}What's up? {12103}{12142}What are you looking at? {12146}{12195}I'll tell you what you're looking at. {12199}{12256}I'm... {12276}{12348}Gordon Tremeshko. {12384}{12432}I always thought it would be lovely|to get married in the spring. {12436}{12485}Just as the petunias start to bloom. {12489}{12526}Sorry, Phoebe, what? {12530}{12586}I always wanted to marry in the spring. {12590}{12629}Just as the petunias bloom. {12633}{12675}Just when the what? {12679}{12710}Oh, dear. Is she hard of hearing? {12714}{12744}No, no, no, no! {12748}{12782}I can hear you. {12786}{12850}I just wanted to make sure|you could hear you. {12854}{12900}Right. {12904}{12931}I'm off to the loo. {12935}{13015}Loo! What a good idea. {13103}{13125}All right. {13129}{13149}Scout's honor. {13153}{13237}What do you think of her? {13252}{13291}She's very well-read. {13295}{13358}And she's very stylish,|don't you think? {13362}{13449}And, you know, the most important thing|is she makes Jack very happy. {13453}{13540}She's like a...white geisha. {13544}{13590}A white geisha? {13594}{13676}Say no more, shark eyes. {13683}{13720}Jack... {13724}{13761}I want you to face facts. {13765}{13785}All right? {13789}{13833}She is not the right girl for you. {13837}{13878}You got it wrong with "Bianka." {13882}{13909}You remember? {13913}{13991}And now you're getting|it wrong with what's-her-name. {13995}{14041}Well, you oughta know, Colleen. {14045}{14115}The only marriage in the history|of St. Helen's Catholic Church {14119}{14178}where the priest recommended the divorce! {14182}{14226}And it's not "Bi-anka," like Sanka. {14230}{14334}It's "Bi-ahnca," like Willy Won--Wonka. {14362}{14436}Are you all right? {14529}{14610}Could we order dessert? {14661}{14684}Studio 6-H. {14688}{14734}Kenneth! You have to come get me! {14738}{14770}Really? {14774}{14806}But what about the Black Crusaders? {14810}{14854}I don't care what they do to me anymore. {14858}{14926}I'd rather die famous|than to live for 100 years like this. {14930}{14986}Licking pinecones, carrying plastic bags. {14990}{15051}Brushing my own teeth. This is unsuitable! {15055}{15134}Mr. Jordan, if you're serious,|then we've got less than 24 hours. {15138}{15170}The show needs you. {15174}{15204}What are ya doin'? {15208}{15242}Hey, dude! Jesse! {15246}{15341}Hey, listen,|I gotta get out of here because... {15345}{15379}You're not goin' anywhere. {15383}{15441}And that phone is for local calls only! {15445}{15499}Aah! {15515}{15572}Hello? {15596}{15693}Did you have a chance to look at|those silk samples I brought you? {15697}{15712}No. {15716}{15784}Jack, you desperately need new pajamas. {15788}{15825}They do such beautiful things. {15829}{15909}It's like wearing your own skin to bed. {15913}{15950}That sounds wonderful. {15954}{16000}Have you ever thought about|a fair finish for that ceiling? {16004}{16036}Shh. {16040}{16114}Careful, my bones! {16153}{16185}You all right? {16189}{16290}Well, with your condition,|ordinarily, wouldn't you just be on top? {16294}{16336}I can't. {16340}{16410}I have vertigo. {16419}{16501}It's a bloody shame nobody waits|for their wedding night anymore! {16505}{16525}Go to bed, Mother! {16529}{16607}You promised you'd go over my taxes! {16611}{16676}Oh, God's sake. {16680}{16746}Here it comes. The big one. {16750}{16801}Ride it, Donaghy. {16805}{16882}Ride it straight to hell! {16886}{16947}Bollocks. {16970}{16995}You still at work, ha? {16999}{17019}Yeah, of course. {17023}{17060}Tracy's gone. I'm still at work. {17064}{17100}It's a nightmare. {17104}{17158}Ugh! Is that how far apart my eyes are? {17162}{17232}I look like Admiral Akbar. {17236}{17264}Relax. {17268}{17299}It's one of the reasons I like you. {17303}{17367}So listen, I was going|to fly out there on Saturday. {17371}{17424}But I've got a bunch of stuff|to take care of. {17428}{17520}So now I'm gonna fly out there. {17524}{17570}I'm gonna come out there next Wednesday. {17574}{17672}Oh, wh-what's this thing doing now? {17687}{17726}What? Uh-oh. {17730}{17772}Yeah, Liz--working. {17776}{17801}Breaking up. {17805}{17844}Did you say we're breaking up? {17848}{17877}Yeah. {17881}{17932}What? {17936}{17968}Who is this? It's 3:00 in the morning. {17972}{18028}- Hello?|- Liz... Wait. {18032}{18062}What? Oh, my God. {18066}{18086}Are you breaking up with me? {18092}{18160}- What hospital?|- Wait, whoa, Liz... {18164}{18172}No, no, no. {18176}{18203}There has to be some|sort of misunderstanding. {18207}{18230}I'm his fianc�e. {18234}{18309}I'm sorry, you're not family,|and you're not his emergency contact. {18313}{18323}Oh! {18327}{18378}Now, his mother can go in if she wants to. {18382}{18431}Oh, no! I'm not going in there. {18435}{18541}I go in there, I get bird flu,|I don't come out. {18545}{18575}Hi, I'm Liz Lemon. {18579}{18604}Somebody called me. {18608}{18702}Oh, yes, Mr. Donaghy designated you|as his emergency contact. {18706}{18728}What? {18732}{18788}Ladies! {18792}{18822}What? This? {18826}{18848}No, no. {18852}{18903}I was at a costume party|earlier this evening. {18907}{18992}And the hostess's dog attacked me,|so I had to stab it. {18996}{19007}Oh! {19011}{19045}Jack's going to be fine. {19051}{19119}But he has had a pretty|serious cardiac episode. {19123}{19242}Also, I suspect he may have scurvy,|because he keeps asking for lemon. {19246}{19304}Uh, no... that's me. {19308}{19335}Oh! {19339}{19381}Tell him his mother's here! {19385}{19431}And she loves him. {19435}{19516}But not in a queer way. {19564}{19596}Lemon, is that you? {19600}{19635}Yeah, it's me. {19639}{19673}How are you feeling? {19677}{19726}They gave me something. {19730}{19795}My mouth tastes like purple. {19799}{19824}Okay. {19828}{19891}I saw it, Lemon. {19895}{19985}My whole life passing right before my eyes. {19989}{20081}Neil Patterson pitching me|the rotating microwave tray. {20085}{20211}Me personally coining the phrase,|"What's the upside?" {20217}{20304}Participating in Hands Across America. {20308}{20449}And all the time I've been on this earth,|I have only one regret. {20507}{20560}I should have worked more. {20564}{20639}That's what you're taking away|from this experience? {20643}{20697}Work is the only thing I'm good at. {20701}{20752}Lemon, you and I have that in common. {20756}{20790}No, Jack, that's not true. {20794}{20870}I've been rolling calls from here. {20874}{20910}Trying to spin this Tracy thing. {20914}{20951}No, Jack, forget about Tracy. {20955}{20980}You have to relax. {20984}{21011}No, no, no, no, no, no. {21015}{21040}You've got to get back to work {21044}{21107}and come up with something|with or without Tracy, {21111}{21160}or we are gonna be screwed. {21164}{21212}Okay. {21216}{21280}Maybe this is the drugs talking... {21284}{21344}but I think I got Nixon... {21348}{21385}to agree to come on the show {21389}{21459}and say, "Sock it to me." {21463}{21481}Great. {21485}{21562}How's the Dow doing? {21631}{21654}You'll like my cousin Jesse. {21658}{21697}He's real sweet. {21701}{21788}Ooh, they got a door!|That's new. {21792}{21836}Hello there, cousin. {21840}{21893}What brings you to Parcell Hollow? {21897}{21944}Well, I'm here to pick up Tracy, of course. {21948}{21994}Well, that's peculiar. {21998}{22066}Why, he just left first thing this morning. {22070}{22095}(Kenny) Oh. {22099}{22147}Oh, I must have misunderstood him. {22151}{22213}Must have. {22226}{22306}Sorry you came all this way for nothin'. {22310}{22459}I'd invite you in, but I got a living|room full of dead chimney birds. {22549}{22567}Agh! {22571}{22632}Shh, shh, shh, shh. {22636}{22687}We must rest, my chimney bird. {22691}{22792}Tonight, we're reading my screenplay. {22864}{22929}I just timed the show, and without Tracy,|we're still 20 minutes short. {22933}{22965}Liz, on the show, {22969}{23056}I could do the thing|where I walk like Robocop. {23060}{23099}Zzz! Zzz! Your move, creep. {23103}{23164}That's great, that's completely topical. {23168}{23183}Ooh, hey, Cerie. {23187}{23258}Would you like to dance in front of|the band on TV tonight? {23262}{23284}For, like, ten minutes. {23288}{23303}What band? {23307}{23327}Our house band. {23331}{23377}No, thanks. Uh, Floyd called. {23381}{23401}Ugh. {23405}{23416}How's that going? {23420}{23433}Not great. {23437}{23516}We had a web chat last night, and I thought|he said he wanted to break up with me. {23520}{23543}Oh, that must have freaked you out. {23547}{23581}Actually, I was kind of relieved. {23585}{23603}Hey, guys. {23607}{23651}I hear you're looking for someone|to dance in front of the band. {23655}{23713}- Uh...no.|- Uh...no. {23717}{23730}Oh. Isn't this exciting? {23734}{23759}Everyone pulling together. {23763}{23814}I think the show's gonna|be really good this week. {23818}{23899}Oh, I hope Tray's okay. {24024}{24088}Ohh, Floyd. {24122}{24195}Tracy! Time for lunch. {24199}{24290}I hope you like chicken neck-- {24295}{24336}Tracy has escaped. {24340}{24377}Thanks, Kenny, for saving me! {24381}{24456}I'll have you in New York|in time for your traditional pre-show rant! {24460}{24565}I think it's gonna be about immigration! {24635}{24675}By the hammer of Thor! {24679}{24710}(Tracy) Now go! Go, go, go! {24714}{24742}I'm gonna find you! {24746}{24804}I know what you look--|I remember what you look like! {24808}{24828}You're so stupid! {24832}{24907}I gotta reload!|Damn, I wish I had a vehicle! {24911}{25003}Jack, I'm filling out all-new paperwork|to make me your emergency contact. {25007}{25065}Of course, Phoebe. You should. {25069}{25128}I mean, it's just so embarrassing. {25132}{25166}Mr. Donaghy. {25170}{25190}You want dessert? {25194}{25262}Good God, yes. {25403}{25473}Uh, let me ask you a few questions, Jack. {25477}{25518}You dye your hair? {25522}{25616}No, Mother.|Why would I do that? {25674}{25722}Okay. What's your middle name? {25726}{25763}What? Just your middle name! {25767}{25826}Francis. {25849}{25960}Did you take $20 out of my pocketbook|in the summer of 1970? {25964}{25991}No, I did not! {25995}{26027}Do you love me? {26031}{26101}Of course I do! {26160}{26199}I knew it. {26203}{26273}Do you love me? {26318}{26350}I see. {26354}{26408}God! {26417}{26463}They got pretzels downstairs! {26467}{26521}Ohh! {26551}{26590}We're so close, and yet so far. {26594}{26653}Come on! {26669}{26753}Hey, do you guys know|what's causing the traffic problem? {26757}{26816}Yeah, the president's in town.|There's a transit strike. {26820}{26859}There's the Dominican Independence Day parade. {26863}{26923}A guy in suspenders is doing|chalk paintings down on Canal Street. {26927}{26976}You know how long it's gonna|take for me to get to Midtown? {26980}{27022}Without sirens? Hours. {27026}{27060}Hey, I need you to take me. {27064}{27106}Let me explain ambulances to you, sir. {27110}{27180}Uh, we don't go anywhere|unless someone is badly hurt, okay? {27184}{27216}But I'm gonna miss the show! {27220}{27274}Mr. Jordan... {27278}{27356}No, sir, you are not. {27371}{27448}Ken, you are my boy! {27510}{27576}Oh, my God, what a terrible mistake accident! {27580}{27614}Could you take Sixth Avenue, please? {27618}{27695}If I die, will you take care of my birds? {27699}{27746}I got a lot on my plate right now, Ken. {27750}{27806}Ohh, Tweetie. {27810}{27863}Okay, I know this has been|a really tough couple of days. {27867}{27966}But everyone has pulled together,|and I am so proud and so pumped. {27970}{28084}Because I honestly think that this might be|the best show we have ever done. {28088}{28113}I'm back! {28117}{28156}Oh, thank God.|We were so screwed! {28160}{28199}Tracy, you're alive. {28203}{28218}Okay, Robocop out! {28222}{28261}Cowboy Hey Hey back in! {28265}{28338}Liz Lemon, I would like|to recommend Kenneth the page {28342}{28379}for NBC Medal of Excellence. {28383}{28403}Okay, that doesn't exist. {28407}{28436}But you can write a letter for his file. {28440}{28482}I got a lot on my plate! {28486}{28513}Fine, but... {28517}{28539}Les, don't just stand there. {28543}{28578}Go...eat something! {28582}{28631}Wait...I don't know what this is. {28635}{28650}Oh, don't worry about it. {28654}{28695}Just read the cards|and act super-gay! {28699}{28726}Okay. {28730}{28796}Take this, Black Crusaders! {28800}{28877}It's Cowboy Hey Hey! {28929}{28961}This is 21. {28965}{29027}I'm on it. {29241}{29271}Good night! That's our show! {29275}{29314}Have a great summer, everybody! {29318}{29373}Mwah! {29409}{29475}So I'm your emergency contact, huh? {29479}{29626}You're the only person I know|who wouldn't hesitate to pull the plug. {29675}{29762}So when you going to Cleveland? {29766}{29834}I'm not going. {29843}{29918}Are you getting married in two days? {29922}{30010}Oh, Phoebe is a lovely girl. {30030}{30091}But...no. {30128}{30187}I'm not getting married. {30191}{30230}So what'd you think of the show? {30234}{30285}Honestly? {30289}{30352}I no longer think|you're doing a terrible job. {30356}{30449}And, uh, I'm very proud of you. {30462}{30529}Thanks, Jack. {30533}{30570}I'm gonna pull the plug now. {30574}{30594}Whoa, whoa. {30598}{30672}Just let me do it! {30688}{30772}Subs by Traff and Raceman {30788}{30888}