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<font color="#0080ff">Synced & corrected by</font> kinglouisxx
<font color="#0080ff">www.</font>addic7ed<font color="#0080ff">.com</font>

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Nobody say a word.

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- Ruth, I really...
- Shut the fuck up.

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<i>♪ I'm so high and so dry
I'm sailin' in the sky ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Just blow some gage
Come around babe ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I'm so high and so dry
I'm way up in the sky ♪</i>

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<i>♪ The world seems light
And I'm so right ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I'm gonna plop my nickel
In a slot machine ♪</i>

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<i>♪ And play my solid sender ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I'm gonna strut, peck and Suzie Q
'Cause I'm on a bender ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I'm so high and so dry
I'm sailin' in the sky ♪</i>

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<i>♪ I got my roach around
I can't come down ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪</i>

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Is everybody okay?

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- Yeah.
- All good.

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Jenny, you good?

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Yeah, I'm good.

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I'm not good.

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I feel like I should be
whispering in front of the scary men,

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but I don't think I am.

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I think that fourth shit-ball
really messed you up.

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Oh, really?
Because I had three more after that.

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I can't go to jail.

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I'm like catnip for lesbian prisoners.
27
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Look... Look at this ass.
They will eat it alive.

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Maria, you're not going to jail.
It's a shakedown.

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They get some bullshit
pretext to come in

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and take the weed and
the money, okay?

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But they're not getting the money,

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because you figured out
a brilliant way to hide our cash.

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Which I was going to implement tomorrow.

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Fuck a duck.

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Oh, God.

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Me tick-tick's boomeranging
like a bogan's

37
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joggles on the first
day of Commonade.

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Pete, I don't know
what you're saying,

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but I think you're
having a panic attack.

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The DEA raided my compound when I was 7.

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Just a young joey in the pouch of life.

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Listen, man,
I've lived through worse than this.

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Stay with me.

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Thanks, mate.

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You're a real Bloomin' Onion.

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How can they do this? Weed's legal.

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State legal, federally illegal.

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So, we exist in a gray zone
where they can still fuck us.

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And if you've ever been
fucked in your gray zone,

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you know it's no picnic.

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You're inappropriate
at the most inappropriate times.

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I know how this works.

53
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Any second now,

54
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the head agent, who I assure you
will be some roided-up meathead...

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is gonna charge through that door
barking orders.

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Pardon me, excuse me.
I'm sorry, pardon me.

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I have to get through. Thank you.

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Hey!

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You must be Ruth Whitefeather Feldman.

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What a name!

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I'm Special Agent Barry Schwartz.

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I like to say,
the government made me an agent,

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but my mother made me special.

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- Are you a Muppet?
- Shhh!

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What a beautiful day.

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Oh, best roof camping ever.
67
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Hell, yeah, I slept like a stoned baby.

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It's so pretty up here.
Way better than that shithole Yosemite.

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Fuck Yosemite, baby.

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Oh, hey, come look at the view.

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I can see all the way
to the Ken-Taco-Hut.

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Oh, man.

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Oh, damn, look at all those cops
buying weed today.

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Dank...

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those are feds.

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Oh, shit.

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Look at all those feds
buying weed today.

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No, no, no! Ruth is getting raided.

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Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit.

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What if they find us?
They're gonna kill the black guy first.

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Hey, don't worry about it, baby.

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They got Travis
and Carter to choose from.

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Oh!

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So, I guess we're just stuck up here?

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Like those assholes on the space station.

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No, no, no, cool it, okay? Calm down.

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We'll just... We'll just hang out here.

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- You know?
- Right.

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We'll get high.

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Maybe we'll bone a couple of times,
and call it a day.

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Oh. So, it's like a regular day,
but outside.

92
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Oh, shit.

93
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My lighter's not working.
Can I use yours?
94
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Yeah, no doubt. I got it right here.

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Oh, oh, I left it at home.

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How you guys doing?
Are those tight? They look tight.

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You know,
I was reading somewhere that the wrist

98
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is the most delicate joint in the body.
Isn't that weird?

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I'd have guessed knee.

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Well...

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Fellas, could we cut them loose?

102
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You see?

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We're reasonable people.

104
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Excuse me, sir?
May I approach the bench?

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Okay.

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Hi, um.. I'm Maria Sherman.

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I'm just a customer
with a family and

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a sterling reputation
in the community.

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And I'm willing to do anything
to preserve that.

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Anything.

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I'm sorry, ma'am,
but I've got a job to do.

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No, no, I'm... I'm just saying that...

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I have a job I could do as well.

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Thank you, but I'm a happily married man,

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and I like the one I get on my birthday.

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Okay...

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- I need to speak to the owner.
- Yeah, that's me.

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I'm a co-owner. So, if you wanna
harass somebody, start with me.

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No, no, no.

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Nobody's gonna harass.
121
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We'll talk, we'll kibitz, we'll schmooze.

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He's not gonna talk to you,
and neither am I.

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Ah! You just did.

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Don't feel bad.

125
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You've been Schwartzed.

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Come on.

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You think he's gonna crack?

128
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No, he's good. Black don't crack.

129
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Guys, I don't wanna alarm anybody,
but I am dying.

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You're not dying, you're just...

131
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- shitballing.
- No.

132
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No, I'm dying. I'm gonna die a virgin.

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Okay, a butt virgin.

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Come on, sun.
Don't be an asshole, light this shit.

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It's never gonna light it now,
you called him an asshole.

136
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Oh, man.

137
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How did that dipshit
from <i>Cast Away</i> make fire?

138
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I don't know.
He had a dumb-ass volleyball to help him.

139
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Man, I was gonna pack a volleyball.

140
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What about other movies?
Come on, we gotta think.

141
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- Well, in <i>Hunger Games...</i>
- Right.

142
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Katniss is on fire
because Cinna designed her a dress

143
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with a flaming train
for The Parade of Tributes.

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That's crazy.

145
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- Oh, shit.
- What?

146
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Did you just hear what I said, Dank?

147
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I just remembered plot details
from a movie I saw years ago.

148
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Holy shit, I remember that.

149
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Oh, my God. We're getting not high!

150
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Oh, okay, okay.

151
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We gotta get this fire started.

152
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- I know, I got it.
- Yeah, what is it?

153
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- I'm gonna rub these sticks together.
- You know how to do that?

154
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I watched<i> Survivor</i> all the time
in college.

155
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Holy shit, I went to college!

156
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So, you're working with your mom.
That's nice.

157
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My dad wanted me
to join him at the shoe store.

158
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He still does.

159
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He calls me last week, 85 years young,
God bless him, says to me:

160
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"Son, as long as people have feet,

161
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they're gonna need shoes."

162
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Why are you here?

163
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Shoe-store trivia.

164
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The little thing you step into
to measure your feet?

165
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That's called a Brannock Device.

166
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Why are you here?

167
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All right, not a small-talker.
I appreciate that.

168
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,108
Well, if you must know,

169
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:08,490
a certain YouTube video
has come to our attention.

170
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Couple of your friends

171
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seen handing out some of your cannabis...

172
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:16,623
to people of insufficient age.

173
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That's not so good.

174
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,728
Those fuck-sticks.

175
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:29,235
Oy, don't go all buggaro
taking my Sheilas, you wallaby lickers!

176
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:34,674
Pete, Pete. Yelling at these guys
in fake Australian is not gonna help.

177
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:37,295
Why do you talk like that anyway?

178
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,280
Don't know. Good ask.

179
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Do you remember when it started?

180
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,219
I don't wanna talk about it.

181
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:49,122
You know, in therapy,

182
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:52,225
I've learned that sometimes
it's better to talk about things

183
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,060
instead of keeping them buried.

184
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:55,727
Buried?

185
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,767
<i>Freeze! Police search warrant.</i>

186
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,902
<i>- They're raiding the compound.
- Stay in your room, Pete.</i>

187
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,209
<i>I have to get my plants.</i>
188
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,706
<i>No, stay in your room
and keep watching the movie.</i>

189
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,213
<i>Take the back and fan out.</i>

190
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,878
<i>That's not a knife.
That's a knife.</i>

191
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,279
<i>That's not a knife.</i>

192
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:14,847
<i>That's a knife.</i>

193
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,316
<i>That's not a knife.</i>

194
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:17,951
<i>That's a knife.</i>

195
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:19,919
That's not a knife.

196
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,788
That's a knife.

197
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,360
That's<i> Crocodile Dundee.</i>

198
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,333
- What?
- That's a line from the movie.

199
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,703
The movie I watched while I was hiding.

200
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,039
Oh, my God, Carter.

201
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,075
That's not a knife.
202
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,210
That's a breakthrough.

203
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:49,182
You gotta get me out of here.
I'll do anything.

204
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:56,856
Anything.

205
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,795
Why don't I take
a rain check on that?

206
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,334
Agent Sanchez.

207
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,203
There's always a Sanchez.

208
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:14,007
- Yeah?
- Agent San... Oh.

209
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:16,175
Ooh. I like your pretend dick.

210
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:22,081
My friend Maria here, she's a patient
and she's very frightened.

211
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:24,450
I mean, could you just check her ID

212
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,920
- and send her home, okay?
- License.

213
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,055
Um, about that picture,

214
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:30,722
it's baby weight.

215
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:32,225
Plus, I had just eaten a cake.

216
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,032
I'm not gonna make it, Jenny.

217
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,801
Just leave me here to die.

218
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,005
Look, I was almost a doctor,

219
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,441
and I'm not gonna let you die on me,
you son of a bitch!

220
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,877
Olivia,

221
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,779
I want you to put your right foot in.

222
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,950
Great. Remember
that right foot you just put in?

223
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,451
- Yeah.
- I want you to take it out.

224
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,986
- But I'm so scared.
- Do it!

225
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,089
I want you to put your right foot in,

226
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:06,259
and this time, goddamn it,
I want you to shake it all about!

227
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,895
Yes, yes!

228
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,897
Yes!
229
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:17,770
Look, all I need is something
to show my boss, so I can say:

230
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:20,273
"Marjorie, here's what I confiscated.

231
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,377
I've done my job.
Case closed, it's Miller Time."

232
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,182
That's an old reference,
you're too young.

233
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,250
What do you wanna confiscate?

234
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:34,354
You know, the weed, your assets.

235
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,189
- Cash.
- Yes.

236
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:41,327
Assets. It's a cash business,
I know you've got a safe somewhere.

237
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,071
And don't tell me it's this safe,

238
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,399
because this safe is filled with Snapple.

239
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,069
Peach Mango-steen.

240
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:53,139
What is that,
Bruce Springsteen's fruity cousin?

241
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:58,211
Oh, come on, Travis, that's funny.
Even Sanchez liked it.
242
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,381
Look, I don't know anything about a safe.

243
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,983
Ugh. You're killing me here, Travis.

244
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:07,954
Now I gotta threaten you
with jail time for distro to a minor.

245
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,522
Ooh.

246
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,924
Slugs have four noses.

247
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:15,927
So...

248
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:20,099
where's the safe?

249
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,934
I don't rat.

250
00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:24,836
Travis...

251
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,019
That's good.

252
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,325
You're not like your mother.

253
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,829
You're not some firebrand
out to stick it to the man.

254
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:52,532
You're not cut out for jail.

255
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,370
Yeah, you're right. You know,
my mother and I are very different.
256
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,438
You know, we don't...

257
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,874
see eye to eye on a whole lot.
But there is...

258
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,143
There's one thing we do agree on:

259
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:06,612
Fuck you.

260
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,387
Oy, the language.

261
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,036
My goodness, I am so not high right now.

262
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,573
- Why is my hair like this?
- I don't know.

263
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,946
That is so much more sensible.

264
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,012
Yeah.

265
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:46,052
You know, now that we mention it,
this smells terrible.

266
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,990
I wish we had something to read up here.

267
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,393
Oh, I would kill
for a <i>Wall Street Journal</i> right now.

268
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,330
You know, speaking of finance,

269
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,978
I think it's time we
lay out a realistic

270
00:15:00,003 --> 00:15:02,359
five-year plan for
our future together.

271
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,637
I mean, five years?
Isn't that a tad shortsighted.

272
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,940
We should do ten years at least
in this uncertain environment.

273
00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,442
I mean, no offense, darling.

274
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,043
None taken, love.

275
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:18,384
So, I'll focus on selling
my jewelry on Etsy

276
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,920
and you can get
your teaching certificate.

277
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:21,987
Huh.

278
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,223
You know, if I can just reach one child.

279
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:25,458
Oh, just one.

280
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,125
Just one.

281
00:15:31,111 --> 00:15:32,265
I'm feeling good.

282
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,700
I'm feeling really good
about where we're at, Dabby.
283
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,302
Me too, Steve.

284
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:45,478
- We should write some of this down, no?
- Oh, yeah, that's smart.

285
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,613
- Oh, here's a pencil.
- Okay.

286
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,715
Do you have something to write on?

287
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,251
We could write on this matchbook.

288
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,722
- Steve.
- Yeah?

289
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,491
Are you pulling my leg?

290
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,716
How are you gonna write a ten-year plan

291
00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:03,740
on a matchbook, you silly goose?

292
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,466
It'd be a really fun challenge.

293
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:10,036
We could write around the words here.
Write on this empty flap there.

294
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:13,272
We could write on this empty flap.
We could move these matches and...

295
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:20,011
Go, go, go.

296
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,547
Yes, you got this, baby.

297
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:23,249
You got this, baby.

298
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:24,684
Yeah, light that shit.

299
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,185
Yeah, light that shit.

300
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:27,386
Oh, yeah.

301
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:30,256
Mind if I hit the head?

302
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:31,723
Yeah.

303
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:33,359
Dope-ass rifle.

304
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:35,393
AR-15?

305
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,698
Collapsible stock, single-point sling...

306
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,200
vertical foregrip.

307
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,035
Did three tours in Iraq.

308
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:45,104
Thank you for your service.

309
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:49,308
No, no, thank you
for protecting vets, like me,

310
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,144
from the medicine
that might actually help us.

311
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,220
I'm gonna go pee-pee now.

312
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,263
Well, I'm done with junior here. Ruth...

313
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:12,163
you're up next.

314
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,698
I didn't rat.

315
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,268
That's my boy.

316
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,701
That's my boy.

317
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:19,272
That's my boy in there.
That's my son, Pete.

318
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,173
Oh, this ought to be good.

319
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:24,810
Hi, yeah, let the gentleman through.

320
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,282
Peter, my son. Heh.

321
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:31,751
Hi.

322
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:35,054
I'm Tae Kwon Douglas
from Intensity Plus Fight School.

323
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,825
What's wrong with him?

324
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,795
He gets kicked in the head a lot.
325
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,600
Okay, well, I'm Special Agent Schwartz

326
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,769
of the Drug Enforcement Administration.

327
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:51,337
What can I do for you?

328
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,706
Well, it's simple, really.

329
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,408
I run the <i>dojang</i> next door,

330
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,711
and my son Pete and I were playing
a little stickball in the alley.

331
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:02,615
And I hit a pop drive right through
the back door of this opium den...

332
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,284
and Pete followed the ball in here.

333
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:07,152
Good hustle, son.

334
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,356
You made your old man proud.

335
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,445
Let's get you back
to the house now

336
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,584
for a couple of
ice-cream sodas, huh?

337
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:19,198
- Douglas...
- I told you not to call me that, son.

338
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:20,665
Kids.

339
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,168
Douglas, Douglas.

340
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,437
I appreciate you trying to help me,

341
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:26,572
but I wanna stay here.

342
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,574
This is my family.

343
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,846
Pete, you could be in real trouble here.

344
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:36,247
I'll be okay.

345
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:39,251
As a wise man once taught me,

346
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:43,122
when you choose a path,
you have to walk it with intensity...

347
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:44,856
plus.

348
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,329
- Wait a minute. Was that me?
- Yeah.

349
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,232
That was good.

350
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,401
Sir, this was a nice moment.

351
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,638
Hearts were warmed,
but I'm gonna have to ask you to go.

352
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:00,806
- I...
- It's okay.

353
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,377
Okay.

354
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,153
Ruth...

355
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,325
take care of my boy.

356
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,634
Well, he's fun. Come on, Ruth.

357
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,369
Maria Sherman?

358
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:31,436
Yes.

359
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,739
- We ran your ID.
- Oh, great. Thank you.

360
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,242
Bye, guys! Stay strong.

361
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,913
- You're under arrest.
- What? Why?

362
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,749
You've got
seven outstanding moving violations.

363
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:46,752
But I had my housekeeper do
my online traffic school.

364
00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:48,854
Come with me.

365
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:53,459
Oh, my God. I'm... I'm being arrested
and they aren't. This isn't fair.

366
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,728
Hands off the side-boob, Sanchez!

367
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:00,800
Ruth Whitefeather Feldman.

368
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,969
You know,
you're something of a legend at the DEA.

369
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,738
You want a Snapple?

370
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:06,872
Kiwi-strawberry.

371
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,209
Let's get to it.

372
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:11,676
Okay.

373
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,414
We're here today
because two young people,

374
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,783
Gabby Shapiro and Steve Dankerson...

375
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,552
Those fuck-sticks.

376
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,620
Oh, so you know them.

377
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:26,358
Well, it seems that they made a video
that clearly incriminates Travis.

378
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,861
He's looking at five to ten.

379
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:30,896
So, even if he beats it...

380
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,766
he's now got it on his record.

381
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,772
You miserable fucking prick.

382
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:43,743
How do you live with yourself?

383
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:46,377
Hm?

384
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,548
How do you go home every night...

385
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,318
and look yourself in the mirror?

386
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:59,658
Knowing that you're part
of this corrupt, stupid,

387
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:03,262
pathetic, outdated, insidious...

388
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:05,431
cluster-fuck.

389
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,500
The war on drugs.

390
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,570
Who are you helping?

391
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,409
And then you threaten my son?

392
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,880
A good, decent kid.

393
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,382
He's never been in any trouble.
394
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:28,854
What, you got a quota on
young black men you gotta send to prison?

395
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,389
He's your one for the day.

396
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:33,358
Good job.

397
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:35,628
Go home to your wife,

398
00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:37,830
tell her what a hero you are.

399
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:41,801
If you're finished with your big speech,

400
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:45,504
please keep in mind that I could
have Travis in jail in 45 minutes.

401
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,406
So, again, Ruth...

402
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,341
where is the money?

403
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,344
Where's the fucking money?

404
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,428
Oh, shit.

405
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:15,534
You didn't have to sledgehammer it.

406
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,603
Just push on my nose, it pops open.

407
00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:19,839
But the thing about a sledgehammer,

408
00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:23,075
once you bother schlepping it somewhere,
shame not to use it.

409
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:26,378
- Hey, Mom, you okay?
- Yeah.

410
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:28,547
- I told them.
- What? Why?

411
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,549
They were gonna arrest you.

412
00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:34,085
Oh.

413
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,455
Beautiful stack work.

414
00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:40,693
Lot of these raids, you open the safe,
it's disgusting.

415
00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:42,127
You almost don't wanna take it.

416
00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:43,628
Gentlemen, take it.

417
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:45,898
This is evidence.

418
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,833
- You'll get a receipt.
- Bullshit.

419
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,970
We're never gonna see that money again.
You're gonna get a Lexus.

420
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,738
You know, I don't like the Lexus.

421
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,840
I mean, it's nice and all,
but let's face it,

422
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,775
it's just a fancy Toyota.

423
00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:59,612
You know what I test-drove the other day?

424
00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:00,879
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!

425
00:23:02,519 --> 00:23:03,749
You see?

426
00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:06,385
This brought you closer together.

427
00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,387
Everybody wins.

428
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,993
And that's the story
of how we weren't high.

429
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:17,563
- The scariest 15 minutes of our lives.
- Hell, yeah.

430
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,467
We came this close to joining a gym,
I shit you not.

431
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,702
Yeah, oh, my God, yeah.

432
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:28,407
So, the lesson for all of you,
especially any kids who may be watching:

433
00:23:28,674 --> 00:23:30,643
don't not be high.

434
00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:35,648
Perfect advice. Life is too long,
you gotta make the least of it.

435
00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:38,851
Yeah, yeah.
And if you ever go roof camping,

436
00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:41,854
make sure to pack a volleyball.

437
00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:48,160
I'm about to smoke
the shit out of your ass, Wilson.

438
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:49,728
Oh, yes.

439
00:23:59,505 --> 00:24:01,974
<i>Little baby boy</i>

440
00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:04,677
<i>Gazing up above</i>

441
00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:09,715
<i>Listen to your Mama's words
Sung to you in love</i>

442
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,518
<i>We are doomed, we are doomed</i>

443
00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:15,054
<i>We are born to be entombed</i>

444
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:19,658
<i>We are doomed, doomed
Doomed, doomed, doomed</i>

445
00:24:21,193 --> 00:24:23,829
<i>You're gonna grow so fast</i>

446
00:24:23,896 --> 00:24:26,131
<i>And when you are a man</i>

447
00:24:26,732 --> 00:24:29,635
<i>Please recall your Mama's words</i>

448
00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:31,503
<i>Every time you can</i>

449
00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:34,206
<i>We are doomed, we are doomed</i>

450
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,009
<i>We're conceived to be consumed</i>

451
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:41,246
<i>We are doomed, doomed
Doo-be-doo-be doomed</i>

452
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:44,983
<i>Oh, we are doomed, we are doomed</i>

453
00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,820
<i>It can safely be assumed</i>

454
00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:51,790
<i>We are doo wah diddy dum diddy</i>

455
00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:54,827
<i>Doomed</i>

456
00:24:58,597 --> 00:25:00,999
And that's the lullaby
you used to sing to Travis?

457
00:25:01,934 --> 00:25:04,870
He was a very happy baby,
he needed a reality check.

458
00:25:06,271 --> 00:25:08,741
Thought I left a bag
of the new weed in the car.

459
00:25:09,108 --> 00:25:10,809
Just enough for six joints.

460
00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:12,945
What did you name this one?

461
00:25:13,746 --> 00:25:15,080
I didn't get a chance.
462
00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:17,683
Maybe Stinky Tea?

463
00:25:18,083 --> 00:25:19,685
Crocodile Dunweed?

464
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:22,521
I've Got A Kush On You...

465
00:25:22,588 --> 00:25:23,588
OG?

466
00:25:25,724 --> 00:25:26,959
Nana's Fudge Swirls?

467
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:29,194
No, that shit-ball has sailed.

468
00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:31,930
How about The Worst?

469
00:25:32,297 --> 00:25:35,567
In honor of the worst day
we've ever had here.

470
00:25:36,769 --> 00:25:38,270
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

471
00:26:09,134 --> 00:26:10,134
Do you see that?

472
00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:13,304
I do.

473
00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:16,208
I see it.

474
00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:20,179
We all see it.

475
00:26:31,723 --> 00:26:33,592
Pete, hit the green light.

476
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:15,460
Oh, man.

477
00:28:15,961 --> 00:28:19,298
That show's bullshit, man.
That's not what it's like to get high.

478
00:28:20,165 --> 00:28:21,833
Yeah, for one thing, man...

479
00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:25,103
- joints were way too small.
- Yeah.

480
00:28:25,771 --> 00:28:27,439
Whoa, when'd you roll that, man?

481
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:29,341
I thought you rolled it.

482
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,977
No, it's in your hand, man.

483
00:28:32,911 --> 00:28:35,147
- Oh, that's my hand?
- Yeah.

484
00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:38,750
Oh, shit, man, look.

485
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:40,051
What?

486
00:28:40,919 --> 00:28:42,387
<i>Far out, man.</i>

487
00:28:43,355 --> 00:28:45,290
<i>Hey, man, we got chips.</i>

488
00:28:45,757 --> 00:28:46,858
<i>You got any guac?</i>

489
00:28:46,925 --> 00:28:49,061
Yeah, we got guac, man,

490
00:28:49,861 --> 00:28:51,330
but we don't have any chips.