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Ting Ting Huang

Professor P. Broadbent

Writing 39C

01 June 2018

The Need for More Than Sympathy

I am an Asian American student and if the image of you have of me from that statement

alone is some stereotype you’ve seen on television, you’re not exactly wrong. Yes, like many of

my Asian American peers - we were raised to achieve ‘excellence’. We spend hours at school,

even more in self-studying and at tutoring sessions, only to end our days with all imaginable

types of extracurricular activities from sports to the arts. Thus, it becomes inevitable that we’re

often left tired and more so stressed. However, there seems to be a major misunderstanding.
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Despite pushing ourselves beyond what seem to be our limits and the media’s portrayal of

overwhelmed Asian American youths as products of ‘tiger parents,’ we are not exactly unhappy

for the reasons others might think.

The Paradox

Asian Americans make up one of the highest earning and most educated race in the

United States and as a result, is often called the ‘model minority.’ However, there comes equally

high standards for Asian Americans to meet the cost of

attaining such a seemingly glorious title. Asian

Americans are typically regarded as hard working, self-

reliant, docile, uncomplaining, with a particular

emphasis in being intelligent as proven by their

academic success rates (“Model”). While all those are

supposedly harmless labels, Asian Americans become

normalized to those generalizations established around

their racial identity which thus creates a strict success

frame in which those labels become what defines them. Whereas those who don’t necessarily fit

within that success frame are viewed as failures or racial outliers, creating what professors of

sociology, Jennifer Lee and Min Zhou identify as the Asian American Achievement Paradox

(Lee).

This problem particularly affects the youth in the Asian American community. With the

bar set high amongst them, the “positive stereotype” applied to Asians impact its young people

by artificially inflating expectations or narrowing life choices (Lee). Moreover, when raised in an

environment where high achievement is the norm, not only do peers and parents begin
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developing certain expectations of Asian American youths’ successes but the youth themselves

also subconsciously begin holding themselves to standards set by their communities and less for

themselves. There are many Asian Americans who think that Asians might be naturally smarter,

or something about Asian culture that makes them truly exceptional (Fuchs). Hence, when Asian

youth so often as-a-matter-of-factly tie their accomplishments to their self identity and value too

closely, they become even more susceptible to their inability to cope with what they perceive as

personal failures. As of such, when faced with obstacles, Asian American youth are more likely

to be driven to anxiety, depression, and other serious mental health issues.

Moreover, as a consequence of allowing stereotypical labels define themselves such as

“self-reliant”, Asian American students oftentimes find difficulty in communicating their need

for help (“Model”). Asian American college students are 1.6 times more likely than all others to

make a serious suicide attempt and 3 times less likely to seek out professional therapy or

counselling (Qiao). In the eyes of others, Asian

American youths are struggling; all of which

seem to be caused by a strict one-size-for-all

success frame. Yet, failure is not an option and

no one is forcing these Asian American youth to

think that way.

The Internal Conflict

The highest achieving Asian Americans oftentimes come from the lowest socioeconomic

class and immigrant parents have made personal sacrifices and worked laborious jobs to give

their children the best support they can. Asian American youth who then typically attribute their

own success as a product of their immigrant parents sacrifice develop a strong belief that they
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should be successful in order to repay their family but the only way they can do so is through

academic achievement.

As an Asian American myself, this is relatable. Having watched my parents worked so

hard in order to secure me the opportunities so that I may have even the slightest higher chance

in succeeding on my own; giving up is not an option. My parents are doing their best in a country

away from their homeland, surrounded by a language they don’t understand in order to give me

what they don’t have; they become the source

of motivation for my strive to succeed as well

as inspiration for a strong work ethic.

Therefore, when reminded of my parents’

sacrifice, even their ‘tiger-parent’ like

tendencies can be understood as a form of

parental care and love. And surely, these

feelings of mine are not mine alone.

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With a similar sentiment reverberating within all Asian American children, school

becomes a battlefield rather than a playground.

Education becomes the main tool to succeed and

grades become the sole validation of these Asian

American youths’ progress to bringing their families

honor and closing of the socioeconomic gap which

caused them so much discomfort. These youths start

out driven, they work hard, they practice until they

master what is learned - but when expectations are set too high and the pressure they placed on

themselves becomes overwhelming, they can burn out just like any other.

More so than anyone, these Asian American youths are desperate and have strong desire

to succeed. However, as a result of pushing themselves too close to their mental/emotional limit

too quickly, their efforts burns them out and they become their own obstacles to their goals

which lead to self blame, anxiety, depression, etc (Fuchs). They internalize their own

expectations as well as others too deeply so when they ‘fail’ to achieve them, they feel like

something is wrong with them (Noguchi). In addition, this self-blame becomes self-destructing

yet youth would still choose to ignore their early signs on mental disorders or emotional

instability, partly because of their refusal to seek help as well the consequence of making what

seems like yet another personal failure to be known to their community.

Mental Health and Its Stigma

In order to cure Asian American youths of

their mental and emotional damage, the most

popular solution was to increase the opportunities

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for them to access mental health care. This includes additional counselling at the university level

and possibly even the secondary education level. However, there is a dilemma. When it comes to

seeking help for mental health, the Asian-American community lags behind other groups,

including by avoiding it completely (Chan). Just 4.9 percent of Asian American adults seek out

mental health services and they also have the lowest rates of prescription psychiatric medication

use and outpatient mental health service use (Kandil). This reluctance to seek mental health care

is due to a cultural stigma in the Asian American community. Mental illness is not a open topic

within the Asian American community and in fact, is usually avoided as mental illness is

generally associated with being ‘abnormal’ or a shameful thing to have. Representative Judy

Chu, a former clinical psychologist, believes the problem is exacerbated because of the model

minority myth which gives the perception that Asian Americans don’t suffer from mental and

behavioral disorders. She states that “unwillingness

to talk about mental illness or seek treatment is

causing needless pain” and in order to combat this

dilemma, has introduced a bill called Stop Mental

Health Stigma in Our Communities in hopes to

address the stigma in a culturally sensitive way

(Constante). In addition, there is a new generation

of mental health care providers offering services such as family-directed therapy and employing

specialists who speak different language to help immigrants who can’t comfortably express

themselves in English (Chan).

While counselling and mental therapy helps, the stigma has a long history and the fact

that there is even a lack of words translatable in Asian languages to be able to openly speak
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about mental illness only proves there is still a high barrier to overcome. Moreover, with the

most stressed youth coming from some of the lowest socioeconomic class, professional

counselling may not be accessible to all that may need it. Although taxes can be a way to fund

counselling, those of other races may feel unwilling to support the movement as the cause does

not apply to them.

Most importantly, counselling and mental therapy is only effective to those who willing

seek help. Therefore Asian American youths who are still afraid to be ostracized for being

deemed mentally unwell or unable to openly speak about mental illness issues with their families

may still be hesitant to seek mental health care on their own, thus rendering the offered services

useless for them.

Alternative Solution

In the Asian American community, admitting to mental illness is shameful. It is the same

as admitting there is something wrong with you and that you are not normal, which may serve as

an direct attack on a race known as the model minority. With that misconception in mind, many

Asian Americans may view seeking mental health care as succumbing to their own weaknesses

as well receiving sympathy, making it difficult for them to accept help. As the model minority,

Asian Americans have high standards for themselves. They pride themselves in their economic

and academic achievement, they are known to be self-reliant and independent as a race so when

placed in a situation in that they must seek help, they are more likely to avoid such a situation

instead. For Asian Americans, perhaps life coaching could be a better alternative to therapy. The

difference between therapy and life coaching is essentially how those clients view themselves

and what is their purpose in seeking that particular service. Therapy is effective in handling

emotions from problems or stressors whereas life coaching is finding purpose and dissecting
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goals into achievable steps (Holmes). In addition, those who seek life coaching rarely think about

themselves as being ‘broken’ or need ‘fixing’ (Brownson). While cost may be an issue; life

coaching would be considered a much more socially acceptable form of self help in the Asian

American community as it empowers them rather than have them explain their problems.

For as long as their Asian American youth were raised, they were taught to see success

and failure as black and white. However, in reality, there are gray areas as well. Despite the burn

outs, the breakdowns, and

everything that seem to be obstacles

for these Asian American youths;

they have a strong desire to achieve.

Although the model minority

reputation and achievement paradox

has set too strictly a success frame;

ultimately what these Asian

American youths need is the

confidence and support to achieve whatever they themselves define as success in the end. While

sympathy is nice and it is good to be understood, there is a reason why Asian Americans work so

hard and it is much more effective to help them meet their goals in a mentally/emotionally

healthier way as well as teach them how to better handle their failures and simply solve a

problem after it has occurred. Therapy can be compared to fishing for these youth once or twice;

being life coaches can be compared to teaching these youth how to fish for themselves the rest of

their lives.
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Works Cited

Barbash, Fred. “Why Asian American Kids Excel. It's Not 'Tiger Moms.'.” The Washington

Post, WP Company, 8 Apr. 2014, www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-

mix/wp/2014/04/08/forget-tiger-moms-asian-american-students-succeed-because-its-

expected-say-scholars/?utm_term=.16ac0307d0c6.

Brownson, Tim. “7 Misunderstandings About Life Coaching.” Coach the Life Coach, 14 June

2017, www.coachthelifecoach.com/7-misunderstandings-about-life-coaching/.

Chan, Rosalie. “A New Generation Of Therapists Is Fighting Asian-American Mental Health

Stigma.” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 10 Oct. 2017,

www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mental-health-stigma-asian-

americans_us_59d4f739e4b0218923e6e8fd.

Holmes, Lindsay. “Should You See A Therapist Or A Life Coach?” The Huffington Post,

TheHuffingtonPost.com, 3 Jan. 2016, www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/benefits-of-

therapy-life-coaching_us_567ac127e4b0b958f658d53a.

Kandil, Caitlin Yoshiko. “Asian Americans Reluctant to Seek Treatment for Mental Health

Problems.” California Health Report, California Health Report, 9 Nov. 2017,

www.calhealthreport.org/2017/11/09/asian-americans-reluctant-seek-treatment-mental-

health-problems/.

Lee, Jennifer. “The Secret to Asian Americans' Success.” CNN, Cable News Network, 4 Aug.

2015, www.cnn.com/2015/08/03/opinions/lee-immigration-ethnic-capital/index.html.

Lee, Jennifer, and Min Zhou. The Asian American Achievement Paradox. , 2015. Print.
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“Model Minority Stereotype for Asian Americans.” CMHC Self Esteem, University of Texas at

Austin, cmhc.utexas.edu/modelminority.html#what.

Noguchi, Sharon. “High Grades, High Stress for Asian-American Students in Bay Area.” The

Mercury News, The Mercury News, 14 Aug. 2016,

www.mercurynews.com/2009/01/02/high-grades-high-stress-for-asian-american-

students-in-bay-area/.

Seal, Kathy. “Asian-American Parents: Pushy or Perfect?” Pacific Standard, Pacific Standard,

18 Jan. 2011, psmag.com/education/do-asian-american-parents-push-their-kids-27301.

Qiao, George. “Why Are Asian American Kids Killing Themselves? – Plan A Magazine.”

Plan A Magazine, Plan A Magazine, 8 Oct. 2017, planamag.com/why-are-asian-

american-kids-killing-themselves-477a3f6ea3f2.