12 AREAS TO CONSIDER

IN DATING RELATIONSHIPS
 This is not a definitive listing but some areas to consider in dating relationships; the foundations you have and
friendships you make are so key for your future. 1 Cor 13
1. TRUST - CHARACTER -
AUTHENTIC. 4. EMOTIONS - DESIRES.
Are you led by your desires and wants, how would you
Trust is so important in relationships and foundational
know if your desires are Godly, what self-control
for intimacy. To extend trust, how do you know you can
measures do you have in place? Does your past reflect
trust the other person? What actions have you seen that
wisdom in your relationships? Do you have faith that
verify that they are trustworthy? Are they only
pursuing this relationship is the right thing to do? Do
interested in you physically? What do others say about
others agree with you? Proverbs 25:28 Whoever has
their work habits and character? Proverbs 3:4-6 And so
no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down,
find favor and high esteem. In the sight of God and man.
without walls.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. 5. ACCOUNTABLE.
Who can you talk with that has better perspective and is
willing to confront you in love or do you only want to
2. AUTHORITY.
hear responses that are pleasing to your ears? Proverbs
Have you learned to honor or respect your first authority
15:32-33 He who disdains instruction despises his own
figures, your parents? Is it possible to honor God if you
soul but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding. The
are not respectful of parents or authorities? Are they
fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom and before
critical of leaders, what comes out of their mouth when honor is humility.
they talk about authorities? Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor
your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has
commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it 6. PHYSICAL TOUCH.
may be well with you in the land which the Lord your How far is too far, foreplay to sex? Have they had
God is giving you. multiple partners before you? Should you kiss, spend
time in each-others bedrooms alone? Song of Solomon
3:4-5 Scarcely had I passed by them, When I found the
3. EXCLUSIVE - INTIMATE.
one I love. I held him and would not let him go, Until I
How do people feel around you as a couple, what do had brought him to the house of my mother and into the
you talk about and to what depths, when is the right chamber of her who conceived me. I charge you, O
time in your relationship to talk about deeper things? daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the doe’s
Do you share everything? 2 Peter 5-10 But also for this of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it
very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, pleases.
to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-
control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to
godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness
7. PERSONALITY - LOOKS -
love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will
ATTRACTION.
be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Attraction is such a wonderful gift, being attracted
Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is physically to one another is important. Appearance does
shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that not always reveal the character or the heart of a person.
he was cleansed from his old sins. 1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look
at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise
have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; man who built his house on the rock and the rain
for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and
looks at the heart.” beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded
on the rock. “But everyone who hears these sayings of
8. COMMONALITY - Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man

COMMON INTERESTS – who built his house on the sand and the rain descended,

CALLING. the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that
house; and it fell. And great was its fall.
What would you pray about if you were married? What
have you observed in their life that reveal their passions,
does it have substance/actions or words? How do they 11. GIVING UP THEIR RIGHTS.
view the world, does the world owe them something or
Is life all about your own dreams, passions, your rights,
do they see how to serve/help people? How do you
your own bucket list or is there a genuine interest and
complement one another? 1 John 3:18 My little children,
desire in the ways of God? Philippians 2:1-8 Do nothing
let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in
from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count
truth.
others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you
look not only to his own interests, but also to the
9. FAITH WITHOUT interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves,
WORKS IS DEAD. which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the
form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to
It’s not how big your faith is, its what you do with it. If
be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a
someone expresses their love for God, how do you know
servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being
it is genuine? Do actions speak louder than words?
found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming
James 2:14-17 What good is it, my brothers, if someone
obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith
save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and
lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in 12. FEAR OF GOD.
peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the Simply put, it’s really important to be teachable, inviting
things needed for the body, what good is that? So also conviction, walking with a clear conscience and a
faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. willingness to take actions, amending our ways that are
contrary to God. To align ourselves to His likes and stay
10. CULTURE, PROTOCOL, away from His dislikes. Do you take responsibility for
FAMILY, HONORING. your own actions or blame others or circumstances?
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of
Being away from your home/village means that special
knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
attention needs to be given to honor/respect the way a
relationship begins, to understand the expectations from
your family. To include the right people and leaders, to
understand what is Godly in your culture back home and
how to honor that and include others. Research online
about a person’s culture and protocols in dating.
Matthew 7:24-27 “Therefore whoever hears these