Running head: PERSONAL NARRATIVE 1

ePortfolio

Personal Narrative

Selena Gonzalez

Loyola University Chicago

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My time at Loyola University Chicago still seems so surreal. I often think about what it

has taken to get here, and two years still has not been enough to grasp that concept. The Higher

Education program has taught so much about leadership, professionalism, and about myself. I

believe that it not only taught about various concepts, but it set me up to approach my career as a

continuous learner in the field. I have learned specific content in the program, I have experiences

from my assistantship and internship to help guide me, learned concepts surrounding social

justice, and over- all I have changed as an individual. The overall experience in the Higher

Education program at Loyola University will be a part of me for years to come.

The various courses offered and required through the Higher Education program have

given me a well- rounded understanding of concepts surrounding student, staff, and faculty

support at an institution. I have looked at things ranging from mental health, organization and

governance, and financing. One of the most important concepts I take away with me is Student

Development Theory. I want to specifically go in to this because of the way it has shaped me and

the way I view myself with all of my intersecting identities. I often did not think about salient

identities and how they are perceived by others. I also did not often think about what someone

displays on the forefront and how that goes in to the experience they have throughout the world.

I often dealt with feelings of not belonging in certain spaces, feelings of having to compete

because I already felt behind and feeling like I was alone in all of that. Student Development

Theory and the many concepts that come with that, help shape this thought process for me. A

theory that helped enlighten this area for me was Chickering’s 7 Vectors. This theory outlined

how a student develops through various stages in their 4 years at institution. Right of the bat I got

notion that it was a very “skeletal” framework for me because it failed to outline how these come

to play when coming from a Latinx background. I also began to realize how my experience
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looked different from a 1st- generation background, and a with the lens of being a woman. I was

also very salient with Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological System Theory. I liked the concept of how

different systems come to affect and support individuals throughout different stages in their lives.

I loved this concept because I often saw how all of my outer circles played a huge role in how

my experiences were shaped. My strength lie in being very relational and being able to connect

with students in this way. It is because of these models, combined with being an authentic leader,

that I have come to be very defined in my vocation. I strive to connect with students who identify

as first- generation and bring a lot of struggle in their first year of college. I aim to motivate and

encourage students through the leadership roles. I have been able to do this through my early

professional experiences.

The experiences in my assistantship and internship have helped shape my

professionalism, work ethic, approach to student learning, and my ability to practice decision-

making. Throughout my two years at LUC, I held an assistantship as a Resident Director with

Residential Life at Saint Xavier University. My experience there was often daunting, by

rewarding, nonetheless. I had the opportunity to supervise a staff, advise several student groups,

take lead on several projects, and grow as a professional. The experience taught a lot about self-

advocacy and how important it is to mirror for students. Being a Resident Director helped me see

first-hand how students show up in spaces differently. It taught me a lot about how intersecting

identities really shape a student experience and how crucial student affairs is to the support of

students. I witnessed concepts from organizations and governance as well as budget finance,

come to life at this institution. SXU had their HLC visit during my time there and I received a

staff experience on what an institution goes through when trying to keep accreditation. I learned

a lot about what the institution values and about the work they do to present their mission. I was
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able to have experience in encouraging students in political ways by helping them use their voice

and actions in effective ways. We had several instances at SXU that were very sensitive to

students and their identities. The students became very passionate in wanting to create voice for

one another and facilitate change at SXU. As staff we were challenged in finding ways to

support students in these areas and managing ways to create educational moments through all of

it. I felt that these experiences really helped put theory to practice in carrying out my

commitment to social justice. Being challenged to support students that come from very different

backgrounds will always be an essential part of a student service job. I mentioned early that my

strengths lie in being relational and connecting with students. In order to continuously carry this

out, I want to continuously have a commitment to social justice.

Throughout my time in the program, I have come to learn a lot about myself both

personally and professionally. I have learned what it means to deal imposter syndrome and the

impact it has had in my life. I came in to the Higher Education program on academic probation.

Even as I am writing this reflection, I doubt myself and my worth for the program. I recognized

quickly that this was more a feeling that I had always dealt with and came mainly from the

identities I hold. I am working hard every day to debunk these feelings, while simultaneously

working to convince other first- generation Latinas that they too are qualified and worthy. It is a

hard thing to overcome when society constantly tells you that you are not enough. Early on in the

program I had a conversation with a professor who asked how often I had fallen. When I told her

that there have been many times, she then asked how many times I had gotten up. I responded by

saying, every time. She went on to explain to me how women of color are resilient, and we will

always have to be. She warned me that these feelings of being an imposter in the world I deserve

to be in, will never go away. She softened this by reminding me that with my resiliency, I will
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grow more confident and feel more deserving as time goes on. I will always be tired of the fight

and I still battle with feeling like I do not belong in certain spaces; but I am growing more

confident every day. I have become comfortable with not dimming my light for anyone,

celebrating my own victories and being my own advocate every day. It has helped me grow as a

professional and has encouraged me to work on my own vocation.

This program has been an amazing and life changing experience. It has helped me create

a foundation for a career that will go on to help so many types of students. I am extremely

grateful for the professionals I was able to learn from and for the advice they have given. The

lessons, competencies, theories, and stories will be with me wherever I go. I am dedicated to

continuing my learning and continue being the most resourceful professional I can be for the

students that need me. My commitment to social justice is part of my vocation and LUC has

given me the motivation to continue with that.