Vincenty-Cole1

Jenna Vincenty-Cole

Mrs. Mounts

Creative Writing

January 9, 2019

Forgotten

He found a journal on a train, and when he opened up the first page he realized it

was his wife's journal. It had been five months since she’d left, and Roger lost all hope

of finding where she had gone and the reason why. Finding her journal was both good

and bad news. The good news was that he now knows at some point she was here,

which means she could be close. The bad news was, he could finally learn the truth

about why she disappeared in the first place. He looked down at his watch realizing he

had over an hour left before his stop. He had no choice but to read it. A nervous feeling

rushed over him, his hands began to shake as he flipped through the old dingey pages

of the small yellow book.

Until he saw the journal on the seat he had forgotten all about her writing. When

they first met, she had that exact book in her hand and was always writing things down.

He never really understood why or what she was writing about. All he knew was that it

must have been important, because she was always in her head and putting it all down

in her journal.

“You need to know..” he whispered to himself, “It's not just for you anymore..”

With a surrendering exhale he began to read:

“July 13th, 2003”

“The day she left,” he thought.

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“I finally did it...I’m free…”

Tears covered his eyes.

“I never thought this day would come. I never thought I would get my

freedom back…”

The astonishment consumed him. He couldn’t believe she was actually capable of

writing all of that.

“I don't know what came over me, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I

was so in love with the idea of love that I convinced myself that I

loved Roger and the forced love turned into a passionate hate.”

He could no longer hold back his tears. Roger was so in love with Ruby that he

never for an instant thought about leaving, or her leaving him for that matter. He had the

perfect life with the perfect child, and perfect wife. Who he thought Ruby was and who

she turned out to be were two completely different people. He was just hurt, or angry,

but disappointed. Not disappointed in her, but in himself for not realizing sooner who

she really was, and how things were going to turn out to be. Roger closed the journal

and put it back right were he found it. This whole time he thought something bad

happened, when in reality she left on her own...willingly…

He was upset, but couldn’t help but be angry. After all, it wasn't just him that she

left, but their son, Duncan. Roger could take care of himself, but Duncan? How is he

supposed to take care of him on his own? For a moment he let his doubts take over. A

moment of panic that made him instinctively think of an escape plan. But then it hit him:
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that's exactly what Ruby did. She clearly didn't think that Duncan was worth sticking

around for, which infuriated him. Why would she have a child if she didn't plan on

sticking around for him? Why would she get married if she didn't plan on keeping her

vows? He looked back down at the journal and picked it up and put it in his bag. As

angry as he was he got over his fear. Roger was determined to get answers.

“Next stop, Chicago, Illinois!” The conductor yelled through the curtain.

He stood up with his things in hand and headed toward the door. The moment he

saw his son's innocent young face all the anger fled from his body.

“Daddy!” Duncan yelled.

“Hey buddy! I missed you!”

“Did he behave okay?” He looked toward the nanny.

“Oh of course! Just impatiently waiting for his father to get home!” The nanny

replies. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

Suddenly, the anger returns. He looks down at the Journal in his hand and

quickly packs it away in the front pocket of his bag, and puts the bag bag on his

shoulder. He needs to keep reading, but he realized that it's much more important to

spend his time on the one good thing that came out of his and Ruby’s relationship:

Duncan.

“You hungry buddy? Let’s go grab something to eat!”

They finished their lunch and set the nanny on her way before heading for home.

Roger looked through the rearview mirror and couldn’t help but see his wife through his

son’s sweet sleeping face. He couldn’t help but feel guilty about Duncan’s mother. He

couldn’t help but feel that if it weren't for him that he would still have her to help raise
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him. Once they walk through the door Duncan runs to his toys and begins playing.

Roger unpacks his bags only left with the journal at the bottom. He exhales and sets it

down on the desk. He takes a seat and opens it to the last page he read. That

nauseous feeling comes back in the pit of his stomach.

“I don’t quite understand where it all went wrong; I really did think

a family was the life I wanted. Roger isn't a bad guy. He never

purposely did anything wrong and he never treated me poorly. Ever

since I was a little girl I have thought of a big wedding with the

man of my dreams and raising a giant family. Once I met Roger

that dream became a reality...or so I thought..”

He was at a loss for words. His body was still but his mind was continuously running.

His face blank, but pain consuming him. Why did she write all of this? Why could she

tell him how she felt?

“It seems writings the only thing she’s capable of,” He snarks under his breath.

He looks over at Duncan again, and worry takes over. “How am I supposed to explain

this to him?” Roger thinks. A million different scenarios play in his head, and yet none of

them seem to be enough.

“February 24th, 2003

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Today was the first time that i've thought about leaving. I could never

tell Roger how Im feeling, it would completely crush him. It's not fair

of me to ruin his life just because I made a mistake in mine.”

“A mistake? Are you kidding me?” Roger exclaimed. He flips through the journal

to another day.

“March 8th, 2003

The lust of freedom is consuming me. Life is getting more complicated

the more I try to fight my urges of leaving. Duncan is only 3 months

old, it's too soon..”

Too soon? It was too soon to leave your newborn son? There is no such thing as

‘too soon’ when it comes to leaving your own child. No time should be enough time to

except the idea of leaving your child.

Roger couldn’t take anymore of this. He didn't care whether he wanted answers

or not because no answer would ever amount to the worth of being in his son’s life and

being the sole person to raise him. Ruby may have never been capable of seeing that

but Roger definitely did. If there's one lesson he will ever teach Duncan, it's to never say

you’ll commit to something, when you plan on doing the complete opposite. Roger will

always love Ruby, it's impossible for him to not too. But just because Roger is angry at

Ruby for her choices doesn’t mean that he stopped loving her. If what Ruby wrote was

how she truly felt, than she doesn't deserve to be around. Roger realized that if she
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would have stayed with him things would have been way worse than they are now.

Things aren't even bad for him now, not the most ideal situation but, it could be a lot

worse. For example: trying to raise a your son with someone who wants nothing to do

with either of you and would spend all of her time in her head because her reality isn't

anything she really wanted.

Ruby leaving definitely wasn't something Roger ever imagined would have

happened but, he's finally come to the conclusion that it's for the best. Not just Duncan,

but even him too.