Build-A-Baby

Clara Rayburn, Kiah Beachler, Maybelle Patterson, Amelia Schuler

Ms. Jeral

Scene One Advertisement and Science Video

 ---- Two workers are standing in front of the promethean while flashing footage of scientific

videos and creepy images are projected both on them and on the board. Both are wearing lab

coats, signifying that they work for our company ---

WORKER 1

Do you want children but actually having intimate relations is too daunting? Well, new

technology has allowed for an alternative. These new designer babies are free from illnesses,

personalities, and other problems that can arise the “natural way.” Remember - no illnesses, so

no need for autism-causing vaccines! We have renovated the old technology of CRISPR to be

even more precise! We guarantee that they will probably love you. A recent survey found that

over 75% of new parents chose designer babies. And the program has a 15 - er, 95% approval

rating. You can get popular models like the Chanel Child, the Paris Hilton Infant, and the

Supreme Babe. Fill out your application today!

----- During the dialogue the worker incorporates corporate skips and glitches, as well as static

as if something isn't quite right with the message they are portraying ----

Scene Two Vogue

---- Lesbian family is on stage right frozen. Straight Family SL. Kiah is on R of couch When the

scene starts, they begin to talk. ----

Commented [1]: so these characters are written as
very campy and like cartoon characters, which works,
MOM 1: but idk if we want them to be a little more real
Commented [2]: this way they seem dumb for
(Reading Vogue). choosing this way but if they are more real then it
shows this could happen to anyone.
Darling, would you come over here? Commented [3]: also i realize i wrote this but im just
putting it out there
Commented [4]: also the 2nd half is more sad
 DAD:

Yes, honey?

MOM 1:

I read something quite interesting in my magazine - and before you say anything, it’s not about

Kim Kardashian this time. It’s an ad.

DAD:

I’m not buying you ANOTHER necklace.

MOM 1:

Come on, darling! I don’t want a necklace, unless you’re offering. I want a baby! (Stand.) A

designer baby! We get a free crib if we sign up now. Walk SR

DAD comes up behind MOM 1. Hand on shoulder, consoling.

DAD:

Honey, I was one of the first genetically modified babies.… don’t you remember what happened

with me?

MOM 1:

I know. You can’t have kids… but they have really modernized the process! The companies say

it’s totally different.

DAD:

TYeah, the companies say a lot of things, but I don’t want my child to grow up with the same

problems I did.

MOM 1:

Let’s check it out at least?

DAD:
 Ok.

MOM:

Don’t worry honey… I’m sure it’s much better now.

1st Lesbian Couple Scene

As the straights finish talking, they freeze. Lesbians unfreezed SR. MOM 2 and MOM 3 are

sitting at a table similar to the other family. MOM 3 is sipping coffee and MOM 2 is checking

her phone.

MOM 2: Have you seen this ad? Shows MOM 3 her phone.

MOM 3: No. What’s it for?

M2 turns her back to M3, thinking.

MOM 2: Well, it’s for… well, you know IVF treatment, right? M2 turns back to M3 for IVF

treatment.

MOM 3: Yes, but I just don’t think-

MOM 2: But! There’s something else now.

MOM 3: What do you mean?

MOM 2: (Giving M3 the phone.) It’s called Build-A-Baby. They can make a baby for you with

your genes, and they can give it the properties you want! We have a new chance at a family!

MOM 3: Sure honey, I just, I don’t understand how it works.

MOM 2: It’s in the DNA. So we could give it my eyes and your hair. I’m sure the employees Commented [5]: more

could explain it better than I can.

MOM 3: Okay, let’s give it a try.

MOM 2: Great! I’ll schedule an appointment! (Grabs phone back.)

 WORKER 2:

CRISPR is a system that uses RNA, or ribonucleic acid, which controls how your protein is

made, and DNA, or deoxyribonucleic acid, which codes for a person’s traits. CRISPR is given a

strand of RNA and it finds the matching DNA strand. This essentially creates a find-and-replace

of your child’s personal DNA strand, allowing us to find any unwanted genes and remove or

replace them. This way, your baby’s natural genes in the nucleus are not harmed, but its genes

can still be changed. Here at Build-A-Baby, we provide all of this and more. Just give us a part

of you, that’s all we need. We’ll make you the baby you always hoped for. No more crying, no

more tantrums - with Build-A-Baby - your baby can be whatever you want.

Scene in the dark:

Lights off. Music plays. A table is placed upstage right that was previously used by the first

couple. The workers all walk in single file and then face the stage at the same time. The workers

start to pass packages across the line to the end. When the last package is passed, the workers

get into the positions that they will be in for the next scene. The worker in the middle of the scene

is packaging them last baby. As he tries to put the baby (doll) into the box he fumbles and drops

the baby on the ground. As the baby hits the ground all the lights come back on, and the worker

freezes to look at the dropped baby. Work continues another worker enters as the first worker

leaves.

WORKER: Hey, could somebody pick that up?

Baby Intro to Build-A-Baby:

Worker is sitting at desk staring out into the audience and smiling creepily. The lesbian parents

are sitting to one side in waiting chairs. They are looking at a brochure. Straight parents walk in

and sit down on the side of the worker, as the worker rotates the chair to face them. Both parents

and worker cheat out.

WORKER: Welcome to Build-A-Baby, how can I help you today?

MOM 1: (Looks over at DAD and smiles nervously before looking back at worker). Well, we

saw your ad in a magazine, and we were hoping to get one of our own!

WORKER: (Smiles) I’m sure we can arrange that for you! I’ll get my boss.

DAD: Great, thank you. (Straight parents sit down).

Baby car show: Commented [6]: we could have one family on each
side of the stage with the boss playing to both sides,
seeing both though they don't see each other.
BOSS: (Comes in with the baby). Hello everyone! Well, as you can see, we have a wide variety

of choices here for you today. (Leading parents into room (stage left)). Here at Build-A-Baby,

we have many different models of babies for you to choose from depending on what personality

suits your family the best. We have different personalities like happy (pulls babies mouth up) sad

(makes baby frown) and angry (pulls eyebrows down)!

MOM 2: I think we are going for a pretty optimistic child. (MOM 3 agrees).

BOSS: Excellent! Our Happy model will work just fine. Now, would you like to see some of our

other specializations?

MOM 1: Oh absolutely!

BOSS: Great! We have the Academia package, which makes sure that your child has an affinity

for things like English, (BABY pulls out book) Math (BABY pulls out calculator) AND Science

(BABY pulls out test tube) and the sports package, which includes the Soccer and Football!

DAD: Honestly, this all sounds kind of tame.

BOSS: (warily) Would you like the … animal package? (BABY puts on cat ears.)

(DAD opens his mouth but MOM cuts him off.)

MOM 1: NO! But I’d really love to have a deep bond with my child.

BOSS: Then the Family add-on is for you! This guarantees family dinner with your child until 16

and at up to 6 museum trips. For $25,000 this is a steal!

DAD: 25 - Can we have a second? (BOSS takes one or two steps back). I’m not sure about this.

MOM 1: Sweetie, I love you, but the simple truth is that you can’t have a child and I can’t do

without one!

DAD: But resigning a child to the kind of teasing, diseases, and discrimination that I was put

through as a child? I don’t know - (freeze)

MOM 2: It seems great! MOM 3 says nothing. Don’t you think so?

MOM 3: I don’t know. It’s expensive and quite honestly, something strikes me as a little off.

MOM 2: What are you talking about? Don’t you want a baby?

MOM 3: Of course I do! And I want nothing more than to have it with you, but messing with

genetics? That seems - (freeze)

MOM 1: Listen. This is what I want for our family!

MOM 2: Won’t you do this? For me? (DAD and MOM 3 look unsure but MOM 1 and 2 grabs

their respective partner’s hands).

MOM 1: Please? (DAD nods).

BOSS: (DAD and MOM 3 hesitate). You don’t want a Walmart baby, do you?

DAD: Ok. (To the boss). Where can we sign?

BOSS has clipboards on each hand as they sign on each side. Parents sign as BOSS smiles

creepily out into the audience.

 Workers make baby (test tube)

Baby Being Silent:

MOM 1: Oh honey she’s perfect! Let’s keep her forever.

DAD: Well I glad you’re happy dear. (Under his breath): She certainly wasn't cheap.

MOM 1: This is the best day of my life! Let’s name her Kaleigh.

DAD: That’s a lovely name dear!

MOM 1: Wait look dear she’s waking up! Come on dearie, say hello to your mommy and daddy.

(Violently shakes a rattle in baby’s face).

DAD: What a perfect, happy child! She’s practically jumping with joy.

BABY: (Silent and stone-faced)

MOM 1: What an absolute doll!

Lesbian scene 2:

MOM 2: (Bending down to see her baby/toddler face to face). Hey honey! Who’s so beautiful?

BABY 2: (Sniffles, then sneezes robotically.)

MOM 3: Is it supposed to do that?

MOM 2: Come on, it’s just a cold.

BABY 2: (Sneezes again, more violently, but still robotically.)

MOM 3: Do babies get those?

MOM 2: Obviously!

BABY 2: (Coughs and sneezes uncontrollably). (ROBOTICALLY).

(MOM 2 and 3 look at each other in fear. MOM 3 grabs the manuel.)
MOM 3: It says that it has immunity to all allergies, and colds, and measles! What else could it

be?

MOM 2: I don’t know! Maybe- oh…

MOM 3: (Googling it) It says here tuberculosis is the only thing that fits this description. But it’s

covered by vaccines.

(Under breath) Oh my god. Did we get vaccines?

MOM 2: No, it was an extra grand! I thought we didn’t need it.

MOM 3: It doesn’t say anything - wait, down here it - (MOM 2 grabs the manuel.)

MOM 2: “Adding immunity genes may lead to the development of sicknesses that are not

protected against due to the lack of vaccines.”

MOM 3: I don’t get it! It’s suppose to be perfect!

MOM 2: It cost too much not to be!

(MOM 2 AND MOM 3 assume some sort of sad picture pose w/BABY 1.)

Ending (parents return baby):

Parents sit on the floor holding the baby. Commented [7]: Other News Story (Scandal):
Reporter: Breaking news! At 4:37 p.m. this afternoon,
the CEO of Lacoste BAYBIZ confessed to inserting
BABY: WahAHahhahaHAhHAh!!! animal DNA into human feti without the parents’
consent. Mr. Croc said he was simply trying out his
DAD: (Visibly scared). What’s it doing? Stop that! theory that injecting alligator DNA into a human fetus
would give the child a heightened immune system. His
reason being that serum made from alligator blood can
MOM 1: (Flustered). I don’t know! I’ll check the manual… (MOM 1 flips through the manual kill almost three times as much bacteria as humans’.
Mr. Croc believes that he is in the right and is doing
what is best for humanity.
quickly and a little bit crazily). Maintenance, Feeding, Bedtime, Baby Fashion, All Things

Potty… ew. (Keeps flipping for a few seconds) I can’t find it!

DAD: (Frustrated). It must be an error. I knew we shouldn’t have bought this!

MOM: I’m sorry honey… I just thought- maybe we would be happy.

DAD: It’s ok. Just, would you hold this for a second? I’m trying to think.
DAD hands MOM the baby, which she takes reluctantly and holds far away from herself.

DAD: We could contact the manager.

MOM: Can we return it? (Silence) Can we?

(Lights go out).
 Works Cited

Stein, Rob. “Chinese Scientist Says He's First To Create Genetically Modified Babies
Using CRISPR”. National Public Radio. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-
shots/2018/11/26/670752865/chinese-scientist-says-hes-first-to-genetically-edit-babies.
Accessed 30 Apr.
Ly, Sarah. “Ethics of Designer Babies.” The Embryo Project Encyclopedia.
https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/ethics-designer-babies. Accessed 30 Apr.
“Designer Babies, PGD, Genetically Modified Babies, GM Babies.” New Hope Fertility
Center. https://www.newhopefertility.com/designer-babies/. Accessed 30 Apr.
Agar, Nicholas. “Designer Babies Ethical.” Actionbioscience.
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/a25b/438e60e79fc1dc89f76dfaf1f02efe83378b.pdf. Accessed 30
Apr.

Interviews:
- Balla, Desiree. Interview. 29 Mar. 2019.
- Pedro, A. Interview. 29 Mar. 2019.
- Schuler, Greg. Interview. 27 Mar. 2019.