The Public Tantrum

Your child is melting down. Whether you're at Target or a party in your honor, there's no way you can
make a graceful exit. Brenda Stern, a certified social worker at Westchester Reform Temple's Childhood
Center in Scarsdale, New York, gives this advice:
Keep calm: A tickle, cuddle or silly song can break the tension with a child. Losing your patience will not
deter or shorten a tantrum and could make it worse.

If possible, prepare: If you know your child has a hard time in unfamiliar situations, let him know what
to expect. If you can, rehearse.

Use snacks, toys, etc.: Create a diversion to help occupy or redirect.

The Person Who Pushes Your Buttons

Maybe it's your sister-in-law, your mom or those women at your daughter's ballet class. These people
just make you crazy and the mere thought of seeing them makes your heart race.
Think objectively: What advice would you give your that person in a similar circumstance? Ask yourself
if you're contributing to the tension.

Bring a diversion: A book or an i-Pad can help you avoid strained situations. Or offer to help out in the
kitchen at the next family affair.

Don't fixate: Ranting about it all the time will only make it worse.

Asking for a Raise

Talking to the boss about getting more money is nerve wracking, stomach-clenching stress, but it can be
done with minimal sweat.
Get confident: List all your accomplishments from the past year. Did you save the company money? Did
something that normally takes two people to do? Write it down and remember it.

Rehearse: Don't memorize a speech. That will make you look like a weirdo. Ask your partner or a close
friend to help act out various scenarios. You'll be ready for anything.

Don't personalize the request: Don't bring up financial hardships as reason for a raise. Talk about why
your work deserves better compensation, not try to guilt your boss into more money.

Be prepared for bad news: Not getting a raise doesn't mean you're doing a bad job. On the contrary,
having a job may mean you're vital to the organization. If the boss says no, ask how you can grow within
the company or how you can work towards a raise or promotion.

Nanny Calls in Sick

For many working parents, any deviation from the plan will lead to chaos. And of course, a sick
caregiver always seems to happen when you Absolutely. Cannot. Miss. Work.
Talk to your provider: When hiring a nanny, make sure you ask her to contact you at the first sign of
illness -- to give you the most lead-time possible. And when there's an emergency, see if she has a friend
or a sister who might be able help out. It's best if you meet this person before a sickness arises.
Put together a backup plan: Create a list (when your nanny isn't sick) of any nearby friends or
family who can fill in until your nanny gets better. And if you don't have anyone close to help out, take
the time now to research your backup care options so you're not caught off-guard when the time
comes. Learn how services like Care.com Backup Carecan help you find quality backup care in a pinch!

Stay strong: Asking for help or allowing people (aka your boss) to understand is not a sign of
weakness. It's part of life, but if it's happening too often, it might be time for a new nanny.

Missing a School Event

For some reason it seems that events at your child's school always coincide with something important at
work. But, you can't take a day off for every little thing. Wendy Sachs, author of "How She Really Does It,
Secrets of Successful Stay-at-Work Moms" offers up these tips:
Cut yourself some slack: Your kid might have just given you the saddest puppy-dog look, but remember
that you won't be able to make it to everything. It's okay. We all have working mom guilt. Remind
yourself why you work and that you do the best you can to make your family-time count.

Make it up: If you can't make it to "Apple Day" at school, ask the teacher if you can come in another day
and do something else with the class. Instead of 10 moms, you'll be the only mom at school that day.

Plan in advance: Find out the days you absolutely can't miss at school early in the year (end of year
picnic, holiday concert, etc.). Make sure you ask for those days off. For the rest, have Dad, a nanny, a
grandparent, an aunt or uncle fill in.

Grousing With Your Spouse

You love each other, but sometimes you and your partner are on each other's last nerves. It can be a
stress that is often ignored until a full out blow out happens. Nip that in the bud.
Either talk or don't: You can talk about what is bugging you, or you can choose to move past it. Ask him
about his day. Watch TV together. Tell him something funny that happened with the kids.

Date again: With kids and work and life, your relationship can fall low on the list of priorities. Schedule
some alone time with each other. If a babysitter on a Saturday night isn't an option, set the clock early
one morning and have coffee or just spend time.

Or try one of these 101 Cheap Date Ideas.

Stop nagging. Nagging will not change behavior. Repeat. Nagging will not change behavior. Besides, it's
not sexy.

Laugh: Laughter heals a lot of annoyances. Joking around, watching a comedy or even laughing at a clip
on YouTube can break the tension. When things are light, you can talk about what's on your mind
without the stress.

Crisis With an Aging Relative

Mom just fell down the stairs. She's okay -- for now. But what does this mean for her future? It's hard
not to feel upset or scared or stressed in this type of situation, but it should not leave you feeling
powerless.
Don't go it alone: Even if you're an only child, this is a big job to shoulder by yourself. Look into senior
caregivers, community centers and nursing services that can help your ailing parent.

Talk to professionals: There is an army of resources you can lean on. Elder care lawyers, financial
planners, senior care advisors can all help you feel less overwhelmed and start guiding you towards a
plan.

Don't forget about you: This type of stress can take an emotional and physical toll. Get rest, schedule
some of your favorite exercise or spa routines, stay healthy and keep in touch with friends and loved
ones. It's easy to deprive yourself of these things for the sake of others. But it does no one any good if
you feel like you are falling apart.

It's perfectly natural to feel stress. Sometimes that feeling can be a good thing, and act as a
motivator. But there are times it acts as a distraction or overwhelms you.

"Stress always indicates confusion about the truth, and having an insight fixes this," says Bernstein. "You
don't have to learn to let go, accept, or quiet anything. Just learn to see reality more honestly. It takes
some coaching at first, but it's a very useful ability if you want to live a happy life."

And while life may never be totally stress-free, you are always entitled to be happy.