Embracing Special Days

The bridal party came down the aisle. The

groom stood at the front of the crowd, stretching his neck to try to catch the first
glimpse of his lady coming down the aisle. This day they married. “Til death do us
part,” they vowed. Then death came. It came 25 years later. But it felt like 25 years
too soon.

A daughter always made a phone call on her mother’s birthday. She caught the date
on the calendar this year and hurriedly reached for the phone. She couldn’t believe
she almost forgot to call mom on her birthday. But then she remembered; mom’s
not here this year. She cried.

As special days come into your life this year, you are going to feel special grief. Days
like the birthday of your loved one, a wedding anniversary, Fathers’ Day or a favorite
holiday. As you go through these days, please understand, it may hurt – a lot! It’s
the first time they have not been there felt at first loss. And they are often
for this special day. These eventful unexpected and may catch us off
days often evoke not just sadness but guard.
perhaps anger. When this happens,
How do you routinely “celebrate”
you may feel like there’s something
your relationship with your deceased
wrong with you or that you’re not
loved one?
very strong. This could not be farther
Knowing that these feelings are
from the truth. These emotions are
‘normal,’ prepare yourself ahead of
as necessary as breathing. Honestly,
time for those special days. Plan a
special days can act as emotional land
quiet day with close friends or family
mines. The emotions you feel on those
members who will surround you with
days can be as intense as or even
love. If you would like to do something
more intense than the emotions you
special on a day which was meaningful
to your loved one, there are many
ways you can start a personal ritual.
There are things you could do, alone,
or with others. Volunteer at a place
that reminds you of them. If your loved
one adored the theater, you could
attend a performance on that special
day. Or, you could eat a meal at their
favorite restaurant. Or cuddle up and
watch their favorite movie.
Maybe you are in no mood to celebrate. Perhaps simply stopping by the cemetery, a
lake, or a park on the special day would bring you comfort. You might leave flowers
or sit and simply reflect for a while. Try speaking aloud to your loved one, sharing
current concerns or thanking them for their continued presence in life. Communing
with your loved one is a wonderful way to help ease the grief. Humanity needs

T he emotions you feel on those days can be

as intense as or even more intense than the
emotions you felt at first loss.

ritual. One person related that each year, on the anniversary of the deaths of his
mother and father, he would sit quietly in front of their pictures, light a candle, and
thank them (aloud) for the gifts they had given him: his sense of humor, his passion
for learning, and his innate curiosity. His intended result was simple: to honor their
memory and acknowledge their passing.

F or the sake of the memory of your loved

one, don’t skip over the importance of these
special days.

These special days were once filled with love, laughter and joy. Yet, to one degree
or another, your grief may always be with you. Just like your memories of your loved
one will remain, so may a kernel of sadness. For the sake of the memory of your
loved one, don’t skip over the importance of these special days. Don’t allow that
seed of sadness to overgrow the memories, love, laughter and joy.
 Non-Profit
Organization
US Postage
PAID
Kalamazoo, MI
49007

200 West Michigan Ave. Battle Creek, MI 49017

www.SeniorCarePartnersMI.org • 269-441-9300

Mr. John Anybody

1234 Main Street
Battle Creek, MI 49017