Dealing With Whats, Left.

How many times have you been to that closet? Her closet. Maybe
you have planned a day to clean out her belongings, but you have postponed that
day several times already. It’s too much. Not too much work, just too much pain.

It is an unchanging truth: “We don’t get to take it with us.” But who could know how
hard it would be on those of us left behind who have to deal with what’s left behind.
You may have already dealt with the closet, but as time marches on, more undone
items will confront you: the license plate tags for the car, closing a bank account,
a project unfinished in the workshop. Fifteen years after my grandfather’s death I
found a corner of our attic with a box of his belongings.

Here are some helpful hints that can carry you through as you deal with what’s left
behind.
Finish their project. One son finished rebuilding his dad’s old truck. One daughter
learned how to quilt to finish her mother’s masterpiece. It is a therapeutic wonder
to wrap your hands, heart and time into something that was meaningful to your
loved one. It is a great way to feel close to them once again.

I t is a therapeutic wonder to wrap your hands,

heart and time into something that was
meaningful to your loved one.
Volunteer at their charity. Your loved one may have been a giver, donating to or
volunteering at local or global charities. By honoring what they honored and by
loving what they loved, you can cherish their memory in whole new way. By serving
soup at a homeless shelter, joining a church, volunteering at an animal hospital or
sending finances to hungry children, you can feel close to your loved one by caring
for that which they left behind.
Listen to new stories. Get around people that can share with you unheard stories of
bygone times. One of the greatest difficulties of death is the idea that you will never
create new memories with your loved one again. Invite those that knew your loved
one to dinner. Let them share their stories. By learning new things about their life,
you can feel close to your loved one again.

W hatever the task that comes your way,

allow your heart to grieve.
Death rips life apart. Grief keeps reminding us of our torn heart. Undone tasks
don’t have to be painful exercises of grief. They can be healing moments if you let
them. Whatever the task that comes your way, allow your heart to grieve. Allow
the nostalgia to bring laughter or tears. Embrace the sudden return of a memory
and submerge yourself in it – let it wash over you. Grief is not the enemy. It is what
makes us human. And grieving through the completion of projects left undone can
provide peaceful closure in many ways.
Display their most precious items. Don’t be afraid of that closet. Tackle the project
searching for meaningful items (and get rid of the rest!). Build a memory box and
display it on your wall. Put on display his and hers wedding rings; some favorite
knick-knacks; some pictures. Get the family together and go through the stuff left
behind to build a memory display together — maybe several of them. All of the
things that made your loved one unique. Make an event of it. You don’t have to face
it alone. Perhaps ask a special friend who has already been through this grieving
process who could provide comfort and laughter.
 Non-Profit
Organization
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PAID
Kalamazoo, MI
49007

200 West Michigan Ave. Battle Creek, MI 49017

www.SeniorCarePartnersMI.org • 269-441-9300

Mr. John Anybody

1234 Main Street
Battle Creek, MI 49017