The Bullshit RPG A normal monster should have like 3d6 hit points, to make it

A role-playing game for between 2 to 100 dumb-asses
By perrypolaris (perrypolaris@gmail.com)
How to Play
Okay look basically you start with 2d6 hit points, an attack
bonus of +1d6, and an AC of 3d6. And you get a damage bonus
of +1d6, and all attacks do 1d6 plus whatever your damage
bonus is.
Rolling attacks is 2d6 plus your attack bonus, to hit the armor
class, just like D&D except without d20s because they roll
around too much.
You also get 1 bullshit point. Any character mentioning the card But other characters can argue against your bullshit, which is
game Bullshit instantly loses his/her bullshit point. If the
character protests, he/she must roll again for his/her hit points, anything so you end up arguing if you're outside or not because
and take the lower result. Do this for other stats if they
continue.
more challenging, and everything else as normal. Or just roll
some dice and decide if you hit or not, you're the GM, you're in
charge, and everyone better listen to you if they don't want to
be thrown out of your house.
If you run out of hit points, you either die or go unconscious,
50% chance of each. Although there isn't any healing, so I guess
it's kind of the same either way.
Oh, and if you spend a bullshit point, recuperate it through
good explanation, then spend it again, and get it back, then
spend it again, and get it back, and do that one more time, then
you can automatically gain a level. Therefore, characters good
at bullshitting can go up in level really fast. You get +1d6 hit
points, and +1 on all your other shit, when you go up in level.
really fun if you have a shitty GM who barely describes
all he says is "you're in the dark fighting monsters, roll for
initiative".

You go into dungeons and shoot monsters and shit. If you want Oh yeah, initiative. Fuck that shit, it takes forever and we have
to cast spells, make up a couple spells, why do I have to do to play fucking musical chairs every time. The GM goes first
everything for you? because I am fucking sick of creating great encounters and
having the characters murder them before the monster even
Make up whatever class you are based on your stats. Like if you gets to go. Then it goes clockwise or counter-clockwise, GM
have 12 hit points, +6 attack and damage because you fucking chooses / determines randomly. This way people don't fight
cheated while the GM wasn't looking, then you'd be a fucking over sitting next to the GM, they fight over sitting at the
greatsword fighter. If you got 2 hit points, +1 attack and AC of 2 middle, because it's the safest bet. A character can spend a
because you rolled shitty and you're too much of a pussy to ask bullshit point to automatically get the chair, but then he
the GM if you can reroll, you'd probably be a wizard. That sort doesn't have bullshit points anymore, and being good at
of shit. If you want sneak attack, just add a d6 to damage when initiative is kind of retarded anyway, so it's a really stupid
you sneak up on people, the GM probably won't notice. strategy.

You can have two weapon fighting if your damage bonus is 1 or Anyway, this game is great for when that one shithead who
less; who gives a shit if it's unbalanced, That black elf dude with never shows up for games isn't there but he showed up for
the scimitars was fucking awesome, and so is dual-wielding. once last session and became really important in the story, so
Just make 2 attacks, no damage penalties or shit like that. now starting without him would fuck things up, and you go on
about what a douchebag he is before taking out fucking Settlers
And if you get boxcars it's a critical. If I have to explain what the of Catan or something. Fuck no, this is RPG night, you play an
fuck boxcars are to you then go kill yourself. And snake eyes RPG. Next time that guy screws you over, play the Bullshit RPG,
automatically misses cause otherwise its fucking stupid. There, and when he does show up again, whoever won at Bullshit RPG
you've got all the good stuff. gets to tell him he's kicked out of the group just as soon as he
finishes his diplomacy check to seduce the king.
Now, when you lose a roll, or when the GM hits, you can call
bullshit by spending your bullshit point. If you missed, you hit, Here's some monsters if you're too lazy to make them, you
and if the GM hits, he/she missed. Once you spend your ungrateful dickhead. Grow a pair and make your own next time,
bullshit point, the only way you can get it back is by explaining because I'm not releasing a fucking Monster Manual here. It's
the bullshit. Like the sun got in his eyes, but if you're in a like 3 monsters, anyway.
dungeon, you are basically fucked, because there is no sun in
the dungeon, so you lose and you can never get your bullshit Goblin: 1d6 hp, AC 7, +1 to hit, 1d6 damage
point back. Kind of like your virginity, but with bullshitting,
although I suppose you can say that blowing the fat truck driver Ogre: 3d6 hp, AC 9, +4 to hit, 1d6+4 damage
for twenty dollars "doesn't really count," so I guess it's not that
different. Hill Giant: 5d6 hp, AC 12, +4 to hit, 1d6+6 damage