/adv/ Frequently Asked Questions

Table of Contents
Advice for the Ladies

So there is this guy that I really like. He has a girlfriend, but he acts like he's really
into me. What do I do?
What does he want in bed?

Non-relationshit
My life fucking sucks. It is going nowhere, I am doing nothing, and I hate it. What do?

Friendzone
Why did she friendzone me? Why did she friendzone me? I've known her for X
weeks/months/years, but she just doesn't want a relationship with me.
How can I tell if she friendzoned me?

Failed Connections
Something went wrong. Our first date(s) went great but now she's distant and cold.
How do I win her back?
My girlfriend broke up with me. I think she is the one and can think of nothing but
her, how do I win her back?
Getting Her Attention
Where do I find people to start with?
How do I start a conversation with a female?
How do I know if a girl likes me as more than a friend?
I am boring. How do I become the most interesting person in the room?
How do I tell an interesting story?
I don't know what to say in texts/emails/Myspace or Facebook messages to the
person I like! Sometimes the conversation just seems like it's dying. What should I
do?
Why do people not seem to like me/find me creepy/don't want to hang out with me,
even though I try talking to them?
I hear peacock a lot, what does it mean?

Asking Her Out

How do I ask the girl I like for her phone number/date?
She's got an LDR, and/or her boyfriend is mean/a player/etc., but I've got a libido.
What do?
There's this girl I really don't see much, but I really want to go out with her. What
should I say in my text/e-mail/FB friend request?
I think she might be interested. We talk frequently. What should I do? Too slow and
I'm friendzoned, too fast and I'm creepy.

Dating
In general, how do I date a woman?
I finally got my first date! Now what do I do?

Getting Physical
 How do I touch her before we get to a point of physical intimacy?
How do I get a first kiss?
How do you kiss?
How do I touch a girl and go from cuddling and kissing to sex?
The sex sucks. How do I make it better?
I go to lay this chick, and I'm totally into her, but my junk won't work. HALP!
Other Links

Advice for the Ladies

● So there is this guy that I really like. He has a girlfriend, but he acts like he's really
into me. What do I do?

Answer: When this happens, get out! Before you get too attached you have to
understand that there is a good possibility that he is only trying to fuck you.
Don't think you can turn a cheater into a "good guy" because you can't. Now if
they break up on their own after you back away, depending on how long they
where together, then you can take a stab at it. Unlike chicks, it's a lot less
common for a man to FZ a female. Just back off and see what happens.

● What does he want in bed?

Answer:
1) Fuck him back. Move.
2) Moan, scream, gasp, cry for God, etc. Loudly. Wake the neighbors.
3) Act like you're there for his pleasure, and believe it. Whisper that you'll do
anything to please him, that you'll do whatever he wants to his body and that
he can do anything he wants to yours.
4) Be open-minded. In the sultriest way you can, ask him what his deepest
darkest desires are. In any other case he'd be far too afraid of spooking you by
exposing his weirdest fetishes. If you convince him that you're dying to jump his
dick, though, he might just let his guard down for a second. And nothing will
excite him more than your receptiveness.
5) Beg for him, from before you start until the very end.
6) Don't be afraid to show you want to fuck, and that you aren't afraid to tear
his clothes off to get what you want.
7) Tease. Lean in and then pull back, rub your pussy with his cock, etc.
8) Never, ever show your shyness or trepidation. Get it into your head before
you start that you're going to be open-minded. Of course, do stop if things get
too far for you.

Non-relationshit

● My life fucking sucks. It is going nowhere, I am doing nothing, and I hate it. What do?

Answer: Find the root of your problem. Things probably weren't always this bad.
There had to be a time in your life better than now. Remember the time and
find out what happened. Everything else is simple compared to that.
 Think about what things you like and why you enjoy them. Don't just say,
"Vidyas, because they are fun." If you like Halo, it might be because of the fast
pace and the idea of socially networking.

After you find out why you like what you like, try to channel that into something
else. Something constructive. If you like Tetris, start building models. You like
science? Fucking baking. Make some kick ass cake. If you don't know what you
are going to do with your life, solution is simple--find that something you like
and go with it. Find a career that has something to do a little with what you like
to do. Playing video games is not a job, so you are going to have to find the
next best thing.
Friendzone

● Why did she friendzone me? I've known her for X weeks/months/years, but she just
doesn't want a relationship with me.

Answer: You took too long, missing the only opportunity you had (however big
or small it happened to be). Game over.

● How can I tell if she friendzoned me?

Answer: There are certain signs that you've waited to long to keep yourself out
of the friendzone. For example, if she starts talking to you about problems with
guys she likes, it's a good indication you're in the FZ. (Now, if she's not dating
someone else but just talking about other guys, there's still a chance you're not
in the FZ. It's slim though.) It's not necessarily a bad sign if she gets stagnant
in her playful overtures (i.e., she got a little flirty but never progressed to
more), but it is a bad sign if she's gotten _less_ touchy-feely or flirty. Generally,
if you're worried or suspect it might be too late, just be a "fucking peacock" and
go for the girl. Do something that shows her that you are more than a friend
material. You'll know definitively at that point from her reaction.

Failed Connections

● Something went wrong. Our first date(s) went great but now she's distant and cold.
How do I win her back?

Answer: You don't. Obviously the first dates didn't go great. They may have for
you but they didn't for her. You probably didn't make a move fast enough and
came off as a pussy. Second most likely case is that you said something very
awkward and weird. With the energy you'd spend trying unsuccessfully to make
up for that, you could quite literally "go fuck ten other women."

● My girlfriend broke up with me. I think she is the one and can think of nothing but
her, how do I win her back?

Answer: For starters, odds are she is not the one. Want proof? She is not with
you. As for winning her back? It is unlikely it will happen and your best option
might be to fuck ten other women before making an attempt and seeing
whether she still seems like the one afterwards.
 If you must make an attempt, keep this in mind:

1) Do not talk about the bad times in your relationship.

2) Have light and fun conversation. Treat the effort like you would starting a
whole new relationship, as odds are she is sick of the old one if she actually
dumped you.
3) Do not try to "reason with her," promise that you will change, try to convince
her to come back with logic, beg, or make grand dramatic gestures. You will
instantly fail.
4) Take advantage of the fact that you know how to arouse her. Just don't go
too fast.
5) If the breakup just happened, or you've just started to try and win her back,
give her room to breathe. Let her emotions reset and allow her to remember all
the good times you had. Off the bat, her thoughts will be dominated by the
reasons you broke up. Give that time to heal. Getting too pushy will drive her
away anyway.

Getting Her Attention

● Where do I find people to start with?

Answer: There are four ways to make friends.

1) Meet people through friends and relatives. However, for people away at
university that doesn't always work.

2) Meet people through activities. While most people think of school-based

clubs, it can also be a homeless shelter, a local political party, a soup kitchen, a
church or temple, a gun range, a book club--pretty much anything with groups.
That's not to discount school entirely, though. School provides a great
atmosphere for meeting people, especially those you share classes with. If
you're taking classes where no one tries to talk to you, make an effort to reach
out to them. (Easier said than done, but the shy people don't have enough balls
either, so someone has to.) Join clubs until you find a more socially outgoing
group of people. If you're not attending school--or if that's just not going
well--the next best option is work/volunteering. You get the same familiarity
with a common crowd, but with a little more turnover to help frequently
introduce you to new people.

3) Meet people through a one time event. This includes, but is not limited to,
parties. It also usually includes bars and shit. These are kind of hard because
you get one chance to make an impression so you have to be on top of your
game.

4) Meet people randomly. You can even meet a person in a bathroom washing
your hands, or in a food court. These are rare but if you have an excuse to talk
they can work.

Pretty much the hardest part of all of these is that they rely on a lot of trust.
You trust the situation, you trust your own abilities, you trust their
sincerity.....AND THEN YOU FUCKING LEAP.

It's about balls. Take off your fucking clothes, stand in front of the mirror and
 look down. You have BALLS. Now use them. Realize that there are people out
there who will like you, and people that will hate you, and you just don't know
who they are, and you'll have to fight your way through angels and douchebags
to get your perfect friend group.

● How do I start a conversation with a female?

Answer: The idea is to maintain eye contact, have some idea of what you want
to say beforehand and make the conversation light and fun. Taking a couple
stories about your life and cleaning them for unneeded details or talking about
random hypothetical (but interesting) scenarios will do nicely for this. As a rule
of thumb you should try to stay away from real life concerns, frustrating or
serious topics, or anything that might dampen the mood or upset her. You will
have plenty of time for those when you are in a relationship but first you have
to make her interested and you do that by making her feel good with you.

Furthermore, try and keep your arms bent at the elbows and gesture when you
talk. This has a double effect: first, it helps you maintain attention and seem
that much more interesting (humans are attracted to things that move); and
second, it gives you an easy in for physical escalation (aka, touching her). How?
Easy, touch her hands, or shoulder when emphasizing points or when she
laughs. Don't linger there too long, but try and be consistent about it. If she is
interested she will start touching you back pretty fast.

Also important: be confident and funny. And remember, OPEN ENDED

QUESTIONS. They are your best friend. "Yes/No" questions are to be avoided at
all costs.

● How do I know if a girl likes me as more than a friend?

Answer: Sometimes there seems to be like this wall that makes men not
understand if a girl is flirting or not. It might be that women are too subtle. If a
girl is paying you more attention than normal (i.e. touching you more, hugging
you a lot, starting more conversations with you, and laughing at things you say)
then she might be into you.

You have to pay attention and determine quickly if she's into you and return the
gestures. Otherwise you will fall into the friend zone. Remember that chicks
aren't normally just going to come right out and tell you that they like you; it
seems they generally just don't work that way. It's all about reading the signs
and learning how to read ladies in general.

● I am boring. How do I become the most interesting person in the room?

Answer: Travel - Have stories about getting lost and having epic adventures in
far-away places. Places like Central America, South America, and Thailand are
pretty unique and great for making you a bit more deep and worldly, as well as
leaving you with a lot of stories to tell.

LSD, shrooms, LSA - For those who aren't against drug use, these three are
relatively safe and might change you into a more interesting person.

Kayaking, mountain climbing, etc. - These activities show that you enjoy
 adventure but also give you ample opportunity for reflection. Being fit really
helps, too.

Violin, or some other uncommon instrument - Learning an instrument takes

dedication and patience, and in explaining that conversation naturally follows.
It's a good ice-breaker to mention experience with an instrument that not a lot
of people commonly play.

3-6 facts about everything - Have at least a passing knowledge in a lot of

things. People with that skill tend to be able to rescue dying conversations and
can add something valuable to a conversation in progress. It's also invaluable
for worming your way into a conversation by latching on to a keyword and
rolling with it. Remember to learn about the things you hate, too--it's worth
learning a little trivia to associate with some different people. Just don't come
off as a know-it-all or your little ruse will come undone.

When speaking, speak dynamically: raise and lower your tone, move around a
lot, and ask questions. Having interesting experiences means jack shit if you
don't know how to say it interestingly. Have you ever been at a party where two
people have similar interesting stories but one tells it in a hysterically funny way
or an interesting way that keeps you on the edge of your seat, whereas the
other person tells the same story in a really boring way? Having interesting
experiences doesn't mean a whole lot if you don't know how to story tell.

Don't underestimate the power of conversational skills and non-verbal gestures,

as they can make or break delivering a story. Same goes with knowing a bunch
of facts. It will indirectly help you because you can't have a conversation
without substance but substance alone will not make you interesting. Get people
to start talking to you and to each other. Work the room, not just one corner. As
an aside, if you identify someone else in the room who people clearly believe to
be interesting, start talking with him. You can feed off of each other and draw
everyone's attention better than you would separately.

● How do I tell an interesting story?

Answer: First, choose a start and end point of your tale. A good tale should have
a quest (what you were trying to do), a climax (a moment of conflict or
surprise) and an end (preferably one that ties loose ends so that your audience
is satisfied).

A good story should have precious little shit nobody cares about (like exact
names, dates, addresses and similar facts) and be rich in feeling and
description: Did you think a flower was pretty? Say why. Did you think a chick
was hot? Describe why. Your audience should be able to relate to your subject
and see the images you are trying to transmit clearly.

Also important is your body language and pacing. Talk relatively slowly, talk
loudly, use a deep voice, and make eye contact with every person in the group.
Gesture with your arms, and make pauses in spots you deem dramatic.

Remember, you are one interesting fuck, and thus you can take your time and
build tension.
● I don't know what to say in texts/emails/Myspace or Facebook messages to the
person I like! Sometimes the conversation just seems like it's dying. What should I
do?

Answer: This is always hard for a variety of reasons, including how sarcasm and
wit are hard to see through a text or email. Try asking questions and telling
stories that related to the conversation. If he/she asks you, "What's up?" or
"How are you?" try to be positive and give a _little_ info about what you have
going on. If the conversation seems like it is getting a little slow, don't be afraid
to ask the other person things about themselves. Things like playing little games
works well, too. For example, offer to answer any questions honestly, so long as
they do the same tit-for-tat. These games can be fun, but don't overdo them or
get creepy about them.

Finally, don't forget that walking away from a conversation is always an option.
It's alright to cut things short and walk away sometimes. It's better to save face
on a short conversation than to drag it on and end up doing more harm than
good. If anything it's good to give the impression that you're sometimes too
busy or preoccupied.

● Why do people not seem to like me/find me creepy/don't want to hang out with me,
even though I try talking to them?

Answer: There could be several reasons.

1) You met them and things just didn't go so well. A lot of people fuck up every
now and then, accept it and do better next time. If you're not comfortable
talking to people, it would help to work on your conversational skills.

2) There's something about you that puts most people off. Typical things that
tend to put people off more than not are:
- lacking hygiene
- looking like a filthy hobo
- looking like you aren't enjoying the conversation or hanging out with them
- being too much of a pretentious faggot, or
- being constantly negative and/or bitter.
People hang around others to have fun, not to deal with drama or be
embarrassed by their company.

3) A number of other reasons. People have different preferences in friends.

Some might think you're too quiet, too loud, too boring, too crazy, too nice, too
much of an asshat, and so on. Forget them, they weren't meant to be your
friends anyway. As long as you don't fall into an extreme for these types of
characteristics that can be debatable, then it's not you, it's them.

4) You don't compromise or reciprocate. This can take the form of someone
calling you up and asking to do something and you reject all their ideas for
doing things. Girls love to do this to guys in terms of dates. You might think
"let's find something we can do that we both enjoy" but the other person might
be thinking "he doesn't want to do any activity that I've suggested, so maybe
he's just trying to say he doesn't want to hang out with me after all." If you
absolutely have an objection to an activity then it's okay to say no, but have an
idea in mind or agree to do lesser evil of the listed activities. It's not completely
 about what you do, but rather the time you spend interacting with your friends.
And if you fail to reciprocate by making people call you every single time you all
get together instead of arranging things as well, then people get the idea that
you're self-centered or you're not really interested anyway.

5) They just might be shy. Be a little persistent and don't make them
self-conscious by drawing attention to any of their perceived weaknesses if you
want a chance. Sometimes shy people stay a bit aloof until they become
comfortable with somebody. This is usually more of an individual thing versus
people in general, though.

● I hear peacock a lot, what does it mean?

Answer: The peacock is the ultimate confident animal in nature. Look at it. Its
beautiful tail? The result of hundreds of thousands of years of evolution for no
other purpose than wooing females. The peacock is the ultimate example of
confidence and exemplifies the qualities that human females find appealing:

Visually interesting -- Attractive in itself, and allows the female to easily start a
conversation with you if she is interested.

Cocky/confident/secure -- The male peacock knows that its feathers make it

easy for predators to spot. The thing is that it doesn't care. It can handle its shit
and deflect them just on the basis of its volume. Failing that, he will deal with
that bridge when he comes across it.

Not needy -- The peacock is its own bird, constantly being spotted by the
females. He can land any female peacock. He is thus not needy, and in fact,
getting a hold of him is at times a feat in itself.

Center of attention -- It's been proven that women gravitate toward those men
who they believe are wanted by other women. Everyone wants the male
peacock. He's the center of attention in every setting. Conversations center
around him, women flock toward him.

Sexy -- Self explanatory. The bird screams sex. He is dangerous: he will lay you
if you give him a chance, and odds are you want him to lay you too.

It's also important to remember two things about this attitude. The first is that
you won't be alone in doing it. Being a peacock isn't necessarily a guarantee of
anything, but it's a hell of a lot better than not exuding that sort of confidence.
The second is that confidence shouldn't be confused with bullshit. Remember,
you're trying to convince others that YOU are interesting. Pretending to be
something you are not will only work against you in the long run.

Asking Her Out

● How do I ask the girl I like for her phone number/date?

Answer: Just do it. If you think she is into you the next time you talk bring up
the idea of going out some time. Try to act casual not like you're going to ask
her to marry you. Reminder it's just a date/phone call. If she's speaking to you
 then she is most likely going to be happy that you asked for her number/to go
out. Proper form is, "I am thinking of doing X on Y, you should come," or, "Let's
go for coffee on Y." A good invitation will have a plan, a date, and be stated in
an imperative form.

● She's got an LDR, and/or her boyfriend is mean/a player/etc., but I've got a libido.
What do?

Answer: More often than not, she'll friendzone you and feed off your attention.
She might hook up with you but that's only going to end in disaster once she
runs back to her boyfriend. And yes, she will run back to him eventually. Use
her as a springboard to meet some of her single friends, but don't get involved
in her business. It'll only bring you down. Don't become a shoulder for her to cry
on, either. You'll convince yourself that she's "fighting feelings" and end up
torturing yourself over an attraction that you made up. Be a good friend, but
keep it within reason.

● There's this girl I really don't see much, but I really want to go out with her. What
should I say in my text/e-mail/FB friend request?

Answer: Nothing, because that's the wrong way to do it. You only ask her out in
person. If you don't see her often enough, maybe you should work on that first
so you don't come off as a creep. And just say that you want to hang out. Don't
try to replicate Hollywood with grand overtures. Also, whatever you do, DON'T
start verbalizing your feelings. Do that after a few dates when it's obvious that
she's really into you, and even then only sparingly when appropriate.

● I think she might be interested. We talk frequently. What should I do? Too slow and
I'm friendzoned, too fast and I'm creepy.

Answer: You're only creepy if she actually isn't interested and you
misinterpreted things. If she's actually got the hots for you then she's probably
already been waiting weeks for you to make a move. Next time you get a
moment, chat her up for a second and then tell her you feel like going
somewhere (coffee, etc.). Ask her to join you and hang out. Don't risk the
friendzone; if she won't say yes by now, she probably never would have
anyway.

Dating

● In general, how do I date a woman?

Answer: It's pretty easy, surprisingly. Four main steps:

1) Find girl you like. At first, don't be picky. Lower your standards, as the girls
you'll consider once you do this might be more open to your advances. You'll
also be less mortified if you make a terrible mistake and screw up. This is just
an application of some common sense.
 2) Start a conversation with female. A worthwhile formula is, "Hey, you caught
my eye/attention/whatever, and I want to ask your opinion on something. Are
you busy?" The answer will usually be no. Then ask something that might
require a female perspective, anything which makes her talk and you can use to
segue into more conversation. Early on, make sure to introduce yourself. Make
sure to have some sort of time constraint, and leave before the conversation
runs out of steam. In fact, its better to leave at a really high point in the
conversation. And don't forget to ask for her number!

3) Assuming that things went well (that you were interesting, that the
conversation didn't stall, etc.) she likely won't mind more time with you. After
all, you got her number, right? Call her 2 days or so later and tell her you are
doing X on Y. Ask her to tag along since she seems fun. (More on this can be
found in "Asking Her Out.")

4) You are now dating. Note that you never mentioned your feelings or even
used the word "date" with her. That's how it's supposed to be. Just come to
terms with the fact that once you've gotten this far, you're already dating...even
if you didn't already know it. So enjoy! Be interesting and you will be fucking
her brains out in no time. Also, keep contact high, with flirting, being funny, etc.

● I finally got my first date! Now what do I do?

Answer: Go somewhere you can talk, not the movies. Coffee is a great first date
because (1) it's very casual, (2) you can leave at any time or transition to a new
venue, (3) it puts emphasis on conversation with little distraction, (4) you can
always talk about the changing crowd around you, and (5) it's inexpensive.
Also, think before you speak. Make her laugh. Use a touch on her arm or back
to make it clear you're interested.

Getting Physical

● How do I touch her before we get to a point of physical intimacy?

Answer: Touching outside of physical intimacy, also known as kino, provides

your relationship with some extra tension and will make you feel more confident
all around.

The one simple rule you must ALWAYS REMEMBER is: Don't touch where you
look, don't look where you touch.

As for how to actually work it in your conversation? Any conversation will do.
Touch her shoulder before a dramatic pause or when she is laughing. Touch her
hands if they are resting on the coffee table as you talk. If she is smiling a lot
and maintains eye contact, stroke her hands with yours or hold just the tips of
her fingers in your hands. The point is to look for opportunities and physical
cues; the topic at hand is mostly irrelevant.

Try to add as much contact to your every day life as you can. Making a habit of
it will make you good in no time at all. Do a brofist when you say something
 awesome (women love this), guide females through crowded places (or just out
of your way) by the small of their backs or their sides, etc. As long as you act as
whatever you do is normal and you don't look at the area you are touching, they
will act as if it's normal as well.

A good trick for a lot of contact with a woman you like is poking her when she
does something habitual. For example, say she plays with her hair a lot. Tell her
you are going to help her stop it and _playfully_ poke her every time she does
it. If she tends to cover her mouth with her hand, gently move it away. If her
hair falls in front of her face, lightly brush it behind her ear. If you're feeling
especially confident and have already made some in-roads, feel free to include
some tickling to lighten the mood if things get too somber or serious.

Another good situation is wrapping your arm around her if she is cold. If you're
putting her coat over her shoulders first, don't just pull away; rest it over and
keep holding her for warmth.

Most women love to be touched, and with a little practice you will be great at it.
It is important to start touching as early in the relationship as you can. Kino
creates sexual tension and familiarity with the sensation of your touch. Without
it you are much more likely to get friendzoned, and giving her time to get used
to your physical distance will make future attempts much more awkward.

● How do I get a first kiss?

Answer: Rule number one is never asking for permission. This will make things
awkward and kill attraction. This does not mean you will be flying blind. Just
take your cues from body language and flirty overtures. If you're attuned to
them, they'll practically be yelling at you when the time is right. Otherwise the
general rule of thumb is that it's better to try and be turned down than to do
nothing when she wants it.

Look for the following signs:

- She stares and maintains eye contact, especially if there is a "take me"
expression in her eyes (long, deep stares, with her head tilted slightly
downward; varies from woman to woman, though)
- She touches you a lot, especially on your chest, or face, or shoulders.
- She licks her lips often or moistens them with her tongue excessively.
- She bares her neck, arches her back, or moves her head close to you.
- She inhales audibly, blushes, or seems visibly shaken.
- She falls completely still if you touch her face (to give you a non-moving
target).

However, those are not comprehensive, and different girls do different things.
Yet if you see these signs, odds are she is dying to rest her lips against yours.

● How do you kiss?

Answer: Slide your hand across her cheek and end up cupping the part where
the back of her head meets her neck. Delay at this position for a second so you
can gaze at each other, since after this you'll be too close to focus...but "a
second" means one second. Next, don't "pull," but gently guide her face toward
yours. Maintain eye contact until you can't focus perfectly. At that point, close
 your eyes. You're already lined up so don't worry about missing, and you really
don't want to ever see each other cross-eyed. Move slowly and deliberately;
don't rush. If you'd like, you can gently brush her nose against yours and inhale
her breath.

During the actual kiss, make sure to control your saliva. Don't slobber. The first
couple pecks will only involve lips (and possibly teeth) anyway. Make sure at the
end of every peck, you're not pulling away but instead you're sliding off of each
other. The best way to handle any tongue involvement is just to reciprocate
what she's doing. It's okay if you get a little "into it," but don't get too creative.

Don't get so caught up in the mouth action that you forget about everything
else. Breathe deeply and slowly, paying attention to her breath primarily. You
want to breathe such that you aren't exhaling right at the same time she's
inhaling; it's just more pleasant to breathe clean air, at least for most breaths.
Don't forget about your hands, either. Run your fingers through her hair, hold
her upper back and pull her into you, slide your hand down her side, etc. Grab
her chin with your index finger and thumb, pull away from the kiss
unexpectedly, but at the last second very (VERY) gently grab her bottom lip
between your front teeth. Return to holding her head when she invariably
lunges at you from how much that turned her on. And just remember, pace
yourself. You're going to get excited, so don't start kissing faster and faster.
Just keep thinking, "Each kiss I give is going to be more passionate, more
erotic, more sensuous than the last." Don't be afraid to break off and dive for
her neck for a second or two, even. Drive her wild.

● How do I touch a girl and go from cuddling and kissing to sex?

Answer: Understand that physical contact can take you from friends zone to
fucking in a matter of minutes. Focus on three highly sensitive areas:

Area 1) Face, neck, shoulders, arms, breasts

Area 2) Stomach, abdomen, ribs, small of her back

Area 3) Waist, hips, thighs (not just the inside), feet

The key is being gentle but still firm enough to be felt. Use your fingertips. Pay
really close attention to her reactions; keep going with the stuff she seems to
enjoy, avoid the stuff she doesn't. Pace yourself, too. Take your time so that
she's ready to go when you get to the more erogenous areas. When kissing,
move slowly from place to place and drag your bottom lip against her skin as
you pull away.

Area 1 - From the get go, just get her comfortable with your hand on her body.
Then start behind her ears with your fingertips, working down her neck and
toward her chest. Stop short of her breasts, though. Kiss her neck while tracing
larger and larger areas of her skin and slowly pulling back at her shirt collar.
Tease the back of her neck with kisses while you move your hands down to
tracing the outline of her bra. If she's receptive, start to fondle her chest. You
can also lay kisses on her collarbone and trace a bit of her lips with your fingers
before going on for a kiss.
 Area 2 - Lots of area to cover here, and also a fair place to start. Begin at her
belly button and start moving your hand across her "tummy." (Skin-to-skin
contact is a good idea eventually, so don't stay atop the shirt for very long.)
Kiss her around the bottom of her ribs, nibbling a little if she's into it.
Remember to pull away slowly and slide your lips across her skin. Move toward
her sides (careful not to tickle too much) and end up at the small of her back,
tracing light circles with your fingertips. Since you're supporting her back, take
the opportunity to pay a little attention to her front side with your lips.

Area 3 - Slide your hands down her legs and back while keeping your lips near
the top of her hips. If you've gotten her worked up enough she should be
receptive to you touching her inner thighs. You can go all the way down to the
feet and work your way back up, massaging the feet if she enjoys it using your
thumbs (in circular motion on the soles of her feet) and palms (massaging the
sides and tops). Move back up to her waistline and start laying kisses right
above her pants. Fold the pants down just a bit and continue kissing, then move
back up her body and start working underneath her pants/panties with your
hands.

If you get all the way to the end of Area 3, enjoy.

● The sex sucks. How do I make it better?

Answer: Sex is more than just a physical sensation to get you aroused. There
are a lot of details.

0) Foreplay is rule zero. Whatever you're doing isn't enough. It never is. Always
include more foreplay. Teasing, oral, teasing, etc. Yes, I know that teasing was
written twice.

1) Change your view on sex. Make it a game. Challenge yourself to see how
much pleasure you can give your partner.

2) Try experimenting with dominance. Buy a pair of handcuffs and work your
way up to bondage tape. Dominance in this sense relates to who has the most
advantage in the situation. This applies since you are thinking of this as a game
now. The trick is do it in stages. Slowly restrain more movement, applying more
handicaps. A good way to introduce this idea: "Okay, so you want to do it so
bad? Well I just so happened to buy a pair of handcuffs today. How about I put
these on, and let you do whatever you want to me?" This doesn't have to be
limited to the bedroom either. Push/pin her into shit when you kiss her without
warning. Standing by your car? Push her against the car, wrap one hand in her
belt loop and pull her waist in as you push your body against hers.

Standing somewhere? Pin her against the wall, grab her hands and pin them
against the wall as you kiss her.

3) Make verbal jabs at what your other is doing, get them agitated so they will
be more aggressive. For example, "Come on, I know you can do better than
that (with a bit of a wicked grin)." Just remember that some people aren't really
receptive to criticism. In those cases, tell them that you are just trying to make
this more pleasurable for both of you and the pokes and prods are to just make
 them a bit more aggressive and creative. Make it clear that you don't mean
anything by them.

4) Be receptive to what your partner is doing. If you see that she is doing
something different, encourage it. Moans of satisfaction and comments along
the lines of "that feels good" come to mind. Get her to moan and make noise if
she isn't; it's important for you to know if she's enjoying something so that you
don't stop doing it.

5) Experiment with your strokes. Go some normal, rhythmic strokes, and then
without notice at random, make some shallow strokes for about 10 strokes and
then go for some deep ones. Variety is key.

6) Sparingly experiment with some talking of your own. Just don't get creative.
The goal is to make it clear that whatever is going on is something that you
really enjoy. (The same applies to vocalizing your dislike for things going on
which you aren't enjoying.)

7) Be confident. There's also a big mental component to sex being interesting.

Don't be shy or let your lack of confidence show. Confidence is sexy.

● I go to lay this chick, and I'm totally into her, but my junk won't work. HALP!

Answer: First and foremost, this happens to everyone. So relax, collectively

we've figured out the best approach to successfully handle this. It could have
one (or both) of two possible components, physical and psychological. Let's
shoot them down one at a time:

Physical:
- Are you on any new medications? Lots of medications can do terrible things to
your sexual performance.
- Has your diet changed drastically? Eating healthy and keeping hydrated is
supposedly great for sex.. That having been said, switching diets is itself usually
terrible on your body. If you eat like crap, switching to healthy food all of a
sudden won't improve your performance off the bat. It'll probably ruin it for a
little while.
- Did you drink alcohol or take any drugs? Whisky dick. 'Nuff said.
- Are you getting enough sleep?
- Have you masturbated frequently over the last few days, or relatively soon
before sex? Masturbating to get "ready" isn't always the best idea, actually. It
leads to smaller loads, and it can deplete your sex drive. Plus, you're just
feeding your fears, but now we're delving into the mental bit...

Psychological:
- Are you a virgin, relatively inexperienced, or just inexperienced with this
particular girl? Nothing's going to change this except experience. The good news
is that you only need to bite the bullet once or twice before you become
comfortable with her. Use logic to fight through the first couple
- Is this a one-night stand or just a casual fling? That's got inherent pressure
built into it. Find a way to relax yourself or pump up your confidence. Take your
mind off of what she wants and just worry about getting yours. If this thing isn't
going anywhere outside of the bedroom, your rep with her isn't terribly
important anyway.
 - Has it been a while? It takes some time to get back into the saddle.
Fortunately for you, you at least know what you're doing. So take advantage of
that and see if you can drive her wild with all of the little tricks you know.
Impress her and you'll feel like the stud you once were.
- Is there some history with this chick? If it's a friend you feel that you're taking
advantage of, or your buddy's ex (or sister, or current girlfriend, or crush), then
your guilt is probably manifesting itself in a limp penis. You should listen to it
and back off to resolve this issue first. You won't have good sex with that on
your mind anyway, and if there's really that big of an underlying issue then you
shouldn't be doing it anyway. Get your shit in order before you plow her.
If you don't feel like trusting the /adv/isors

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