What is communication?

What is your biggest challenge in

communication?

From communication to influencing.

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YOU PROBABLY ASK YOURSELF:

What should I talk about?

What shall I say?

How will I fill this silence in the conversation?

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Let’s complete an exercise!

Imagine that there are two people that have just entered a room and
one looks like a person you would have no problem in talking to and
the other “never in a million years!”

I’d now like you to write down what you are observing with each of
these people.
A. Person you would talk to
B. Person you would feel uncomfortable with

How are they standing?

Where are their eyes looking?

How are they talking?

How are they moving?

What are their facial expressions like?

Now think about yourself when you meet someone for the first time,
and answer the questions that are in the boxes once more.

Are you in the “Person I would talk to” or the “Person I would not
talk to” column?
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How people judge each other when they meet
for the first time?

1. Appearance

2. Body language
a. Emotion is created by motion
b. Look interested

3. How you sound?

a. Nervous?
b. Confidence?

4. What you have got to say?

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What do people love to talk about?

1. THEMSELVES!
● Experiences
● Trauma
● Travel

2. THEIR OWN OPINIONS

● Life
● Work
● Anything

3. OTHER PEOPLE

● Gossip
● Facts

4. THINGS
● I love YOUR car, how long have YOU had it?
● What do YOU think of this decision?
● I love YOUR jacket, where did you get it from?
● How you usually commute to work?
● Current issues

5. You!

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Start the talk:

1. Observe commonality
a. Surrounding
b. Background
c. Hobby

2. Smile!

3. Be sincere

4. Active listening

5. Creating topics
a. Issues
b. Information/fact
c. Question

6. Press the HOTSPOT

7. Threading

8. Moderation

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ACTIVE LISTENING

 Open-ended questions. Use open-ended questions to allow and

encourage the person to give more detail and elaborate.

 Use words like: What? How? Who? Tell me?

 Paraphrase what they say

 Reflect the implications: ie : Oh, so that means you are.. blabla..

 Acknowledge the underlying feelings: Oh that is bad! So how you

continue after that?

 Encourage further contribution: So what happen after that? What

is she doing? How is she now?

 Use encouraging non verbal: “O” mouth, nodding, eye contact.

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Creating Topics

A topic can be divided into much more topic :

1. Experience.
2. Fact
3. Feeling
4. Equation

Contoh : Android

1. Pengalaman diri soal Android

2. Pengalaman mereka soal Android
3. Fakta soal Android yang kamu tahu
4. Tanya apa yang mereka tahu soal android
5. Yang FEEL nya sama dengan Android. iOS
6. Yang ruang lingkupnya ada di atas Android. Smartphone.

EXERCISE

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THREADING

1. Bridging

2. When is the right time?

3. How to return?

4. How to remember?

EXERCISE

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ACTION PLAN

● Don’t worry about what to say just go into each conversation

with the other person in mind.

● Listen and ask questions about the other person.

● Then ask some more questions!

● Think about “YOU” instead of “I”

● Talk about the other person’s favourite 5 subjects in order!

● Don’t talk about yourself until the other person asks

● Silence is fine.

● Relax

● Read more!

● Have fun!

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Starting from Zero

How are you 1 : Non response

You: "How are you?"

Her: "Fine."

You: "You know, it's kind of rude not to ask how I am after I asked
how you are."

Her: "Okay, how are you?"

You: "I am wonderful. You would not believe what I have been doing
today. Have you ever been involved in something really dangerous
and after it was over you had an incredible high, as if you just had
the most intense sex? Well today I..."

How are you 2 : Non response but continue funny

You: "Hi, how are you?"

Her: "Fine"

You: "Good. I'm having one of those days when I feel less than
confident. I don't know why. My horoscope said today was supposed
to be a kicker. So something amazing must be right around the
corner." (look around like you are expecting something)

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How are you 3 by compliments :

You: "I love that scarf you're wearing."

Her: "Okay, thanks" You: (not missing a beat) "I bought one just like
it. I'm usually not a scarf guy but I was in France last month and
everybody wears them. And they have this great way of wrapping
and tucking them about their head. May I? (taking scarf and
demonstrating)"...

PRACTICE TIME

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ICE Breaking

7 ice breakers:

1. Humour

2. Story telling and Social Vibing (normal day to day, weather,

information giving)

3. Intriques: teaching someone something, showing something cool

or interesting, or really intriguing that they learn something, i.e:
magic box, personality test, etc

4. Life observations: Like a philosophers, or a standup comedian

5. Character Readings: cold read them, or tell something you think

about them. Keep it playfull, teasing, or you could also be
romantic.

6. Fun and Games

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NOTES

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