How to Win Friends and

Influence People

Lionel Milan
Ateneo Graduate School of Business
Special Report
 Dale Breckenridge Carnegie
was an American writer,
lecturer, and the developer of
famous courses in self-
improvement, salesmanship,
corporate training, public
speaking, and interpersonal
skills.

 Born in poverty on a farm in

Missouri, he was the author
of How to Win Friends and
Influence People (1936), a
massive bestseller that
remains popular today.
 It was an overnight hit, eventually
selling 16 million copies in 36
languages. How to Win Friends and
Influence People is just as useful today
as it was when it was first published,
because Dale Carnegie had an
understanding of human nature that
will never be outdated.

 Financial success, Carnegie believed, is

due 15 percent to professional
knowledge and 85 percent to "the
ability to express ideas, to assume
leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm
among people."

 He teaches these skills through

underlying principles of dealing with
people so that they feel important and
appreciated. He also emphasizes
fundamental techniques for handling
people without making them feel
manipulated.
 "You can't believe what I was like if I
had to give a talk. I was so terrified
that I just couldn't do it. I would
throw up. In fact, I arranged my life
so that I never had to get up in front
of anybody…. [Carnegie] changed my
life”- ?
Warren Buffett
 Warren was very influenced
by the book How To Win
Friends and Influence People.
The book lists 30 rules of
behaviour. The first is: "Don't
criticise, condemn, or
complain." This idea riveted
Warren, who hated criticism.
In his early twenties, he
signed up for a Dale Carnegie
course in public speaking.

 The course was a success

and Warren has been
teaching, lecturing and
explaining everything he can
to anyone who will listen ever
since.
Fundamental Techniques in
Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager
want.
Six Ways To Make People Like
You

1. Become genuinely interested in other

people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a man's name is to him the
sweetest and most important sound in the
English language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to
talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other man's interest.
6. Make people feel important, and do it
sincerely.
Twelve Ways Of Winning People
To Your Way Of Thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other man's opinions. Never tell a
man he is wrong.
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get people saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let other people do a great deal of talking.
7. Let other people feel that the idea is theirs.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other man's point of
view.
9. Be sympathetic with other people's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to
make him like you? Why not let him save face? He
didn't ask for your opinion. He didn't want it. Why
argue with him? You can't win an argument, because
if you lose, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.
Why? You will feel fine. But what about him? You
have made him feel inferior, you hurt his pride, insult
his intelligence, his judgment, and his self-respect,
and he'll resent your triumph. That will make him
strike back, but it will never make him want to
change his mind. "A man convinced against his will is
of the same opinion still."
Be a Leader: How to Change
People Without Giving Offense or
Arousing Resentment
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the
other man.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other man save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every
improvement.
7. Give people a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to
correct.
9. Make other people happy about doing the thing you
suggest.
Begin in a friendly way

 Here's a fable about the sun and the wind. They

quarrelled about which was the stronger, and the
wind said, "I'll prove I am. See that old man down
there with a coat? I bet I can make him take his coat
off faster than you can." So the sun went behind a
cloud and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado,
but the harder it blew the tighter the old man
wrapped his coat about him. Finally, the wind calmed
down and gave up. The sun came out from behind the
cloud and smiled kindly on the old man. He mopped
his brow and pulled off his coat. The sun then told the
wind, "gentleness and friendliness were always
stronger than fury and force." Friendliness and
appreciation can make people change their minds
more readily than storming at them can.
Begin in a friendly way
How to influence people
How to influence people
How to influence people :Kids
 When 3 year old refused to eat. A bully next door
kept knocking him off his tricycle. He was told if he
eats his food, he could wallop the daylights out of the
bigger kid someday.
 When he wet his bed, he was wearing a nightgown in
his Grandma's bed. He wanted pajamas like Dad and
his own bed. So, when he got them, he promised not
to wet the bed because his pride was involved. He
wanted to act like a man, so he did.
 A 3 year old daughter wouldn't eat breakfast. She
loved to imitate her Mom. So, one morning they let
her cook breakfast and she ate it, because she was
interested in it, she achieved a feeling of importance,
and found an avenue of self-expression.
How to influence people :Kids
Avoid Arguments

 (If you're a Ford salesman) When someone says,

"What? Ford's cars are no good! I wouldn't take one if
you gave it to me. I'm going to get Chevrolet cars."
Say, "Brother, listen, Chevrolet's cars are good cars.
Their cars are made by a fine company and sold by
good people." He's speechless then. There's no room
for an argument. If he says Chevrolet's cars are the
best and I say sure it is, he has to stop. Just agree
with him. He can't go on all afternoon when I'm
agreeing with him. We then get off the subject of
Chevrolet's cars and I begin to talk about the good
points of Ford's cars.
Never tell a man he is Wrong

 If a man makes a statement that you think, or know,

is wrong, begin by saying, "Well, I thought otherwise,
but I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let's examine
the facts." You'll never get into trouble by admitting
you may be wrong. That'll stop all arguments and
inspire the other fellow to be just as fair and broad-
minded as you are. It'll make him want to admit that
he, too, may be wrong.

When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves.

And if we are handled gently and tactfully, we may
admit it to others and even take pride in our
frankness and broadmindedness. But not if someone
else is trying to ram the fact down our throat.
Throw down a challenge
 Charles Swabb said, "The way to get things
done is to stimulate competition. Not in a
sordid, money grabbing way, but in a
desire to excel." The challenge! An infallible
way of appealing to men of spirit. The
chance for self-expression. The chance to
prove his worth, to excel, to win. The
desire for a feeling of importance.
How does this help us as future
entrepauners?
1. Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts,
new visions, new ambitions.
2. Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
3. Increase your popularity.
4. Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to
get things done.
6. Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep
your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
7. Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining
conversationalist.
8. Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your
associates.
9. More promising approach to human relations
Bibliography
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_
Win_Friends_and_Influence_People
 "How To Win Friends and Influence
People” – Dale Carnegie