Many of our clientele are facing one key issue: They try to be overly empathetic in helping out

people, but they don’t dominate. Culturally, being closed off to someone’s point-of-view is seen with
a negative connotation, but think about it.. is it absolutely wrong?

It is an absolute must in Selling. Many times, your prospects know in their gut that doing something
will absolutely change their circumstance or situation for the better. But they still can’t make a
decision. They are probably scared, or see you negatively or there may be some another reason. In
this case, you may try to persuade them using their point-of-view: which is best when there are
issues that need to be addressed. But when they are simply in a dicey situation and can’t make a
decision, you need to hold their hand and move them forward. That is when you should stop
empathizing. They are just begging to be led. This is when you are required to dominate.

People just think empathy is key. I believe it is a part of the solution. Every parent out there, if they
are always empathizing with their child and fulfilling all their wishes, are just spoiling them. They get
carried away and let their child make mistakes they shouldn’t be making. That’s poor leadership.

In one session I had with a client, I suggested she should immediately start capturing client-
information because then she can develop deeper relationships with them via perpetual
communication. She asked, How do I pre-frame them? Should I give an incentive? I said, you say, fill
up this form so that I can stay in touch with you and also so that you are aware of all the services of
your benefit. She said, this doesn’t seem right, I will at least have to incentivize them with
something. We moved back and forth and finally she decided to go with a small incentive. I couldn’t
grasp the deeper issue at that time but it was this concept: Empathy vs Dominance. If you make it
compulsory for a client to give you their contact information as a way of doing business with you,
they will. You don’t need to make them feel good all the time.

How does this apply in Customer Service? Here, programming is an effective pathway. You already
tell them, in detail, the standards of service they should be expecting. If you are not able to deliver,
empathize. If they try to dominate and you know that they are being unreasonable, dominate back
respectfully and with reason.

This also applies in personal relationships . Overly empathetic people are ridden over by people who
sense they can dominate them. Their intention may not be wrong, but may tend to hurt the person
being dominated. That’s why they say have the balls to stand up for yourself. You know why?
Because no one will all the time and you will feel suppressed long-term.