Bfgstephan PDF

BACK FOR GOOD
a TaeNy Fan Fiction written by Stephan

Chapter 1
“Please… Please stay with me…”

“I… I can’t. I’m sorry…”
She forced her closed eyelids tighter, trying to drown the rays that had managed to peak in
between her window blinds.
Another morning, another day.
Taeyeon shifted and lay on her back, ultimately escaping the sunlight that was once hitting her
face. She stared at the ceiling and sighed before turning to her left, reaching her hand towards
that empty side of the bed.
She felt the coldness of the sheets seep in the skin of her palm and Taeyeon missed the time
when it was always warm, when it wasn’t empty, when she was genuinely happy.
The sound of the alarm ripped her from her melancholy; she always seemed to wake up before it
actually rings. Turning off the device, Taeyeon slid off her bed and stretched for a bit, cracking a
few bones whenever she moves. She’s getting too old, she thought, old and very much alone.
She walked towards the windows and lifted up the blinds. Sunlight flooded her room almost
instantly, but Taeyeon didn’t feel the warmth at all. She smiled sadly as she gazed out the
window before closing her eyes, pretending to feel a pair of arms wrapping around her waist,
pulling her close, holding her in place. She let her mind play that soft voice she’ll never forget,
asking her to come back to bed, before being pulled away from the window. She’ll let herself be
dragged towards and under the sheets, be enclosed in a tight and warm embrace before
succumbing to sleep once again.
Ring.
Taeyeon opened her eyes and the daydream ended. She turned towards the phone and went to
pick it up on the nightstand. She checked the caller ID and smiled faintly, this time more
genuine, before answering the call.
“Good morning, Taeng.”
“Hey, Sunny.”
“Just called to remind you of your appointment with Ms. Kwon.”
“Ah, Miss Yuri Kwon, right?”
Back For Good

a TaeNy Fan Fiction written by Stepha
“Yep.”
“Okay, thanks Sunny. I’ll see you in a few. Bye.”
“See ya, buddy.”
With another glance towards the window, Taeyeon gave out a long sigh before heading towards
the showers.
‘Wherever you are right now... I hope you’re happy.’
-----
Taeyeon arrived at her studio a little late than usual. She took her time driving to her office,
admiring the bustling morning that’s unfolding around her as she passed by the busy streets of
Seoul. She saw her new potential client walking around in her modest office, looking at the
framed photos that covered the walls.
“I apologize for being late, Ms. Kwon. I was kinda held up for a bit.”
The short girl shook her new client’s hand before circling her desk and plopping down on her
chair. She gestured for the tall tanned woman to do the same.
“It’s no problem. Being given the chance to be here in your office is more than enough; I know
how busy you are.” She gave her an understanding smile.
“Yes, it’s been quite a packed month for me and my team. Everyone seems to love getting
married on this month.”
The short girl shook her head and chuckled as she opened her planner. Indeed, almost all the
dates for the month had been crossed out and taken by different clients.
“Anyway, what can I do for you, Ms. Kwon?”
“Please, just call me Yuri.”
“Okay, Yuri-ssi. Hmm, don’t tell me you’re getting married this month too? Cause I don’t think I
can still fit—“
“Oh God, no. My fiancée would definitely kill me if I set the wedding on this month. She loves
being unique.”
Taeyeon gave Yuri a knowing smile. She loves being unique too, she thought.
Back For Good

The short girl tried to swallow the growing lump in her throat. She hates how everything that’s
happening to her just brings her back. For Taeyeon, there’s no point in moving on, it’s clearly
impossible. She had tried; God knows how much she had tried.
She loved her. She loves her. She’ll always love her.
Always.
“Ms. Kim?”
“Taeyeon. Just call me Taeyeon.”
“Oh, I understand. Are you okay, Taeyeon-ssi?”
She lifted her head and couldn’t help but smile at Yuri’s concerned look.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just remembered something. So anyway, when’s the wedding?”
“It will be three months from now, on the 21st.”
Taeyeon looked at the clear whiteboard to her right and checked the dates. Judging by the
overflowing scribbles on it, it’s not looking good.
“Err… I’m sorry Yuri-ssi, I think we’re fully booked on that month too.”
She saw Yuri’s face fell and she couldn’t help but feel bad. Taeyeon didn’t know why, but she
wanted to do it for Yuri. She felt like she had to.
“I’m really sor—“
Taeyeon was interrupted by a knock on the door as Sunny, her business partner slash all around
assistant slash best friend, alerted her of a phone call.
“Taeng, Ms. Park on line 2.”
The short girl nodded before excusing herself to Yuri. She stood up and went for the phone that
was on the other side of the room and picked it up.
“Hello, Ms. Park. Yes, this is Taeyeon… Oh, okay… I understand… No, no. Don’t worry. No
need to apologize… Yes… Uhuh… Of course, Ms. Park. That wouldn’t be a problem… Okay.
I’ll see you next time then… Yes… Goodbye, Ms. Park. And good luck… Yes, thank you. Bye.”
Yuri heard the phone being placed back down before hearing a chuckle. Taeyeon came into her
peripheral vision, heading towards the clear whiteboard while holding a marker and an eraser.
After a few minutes of scribbling, Taeyeon turned towards her with a grin.
Back For Good

“Well, Ms. Yuri Kwon, luck must be on your side today.”
The short girl walked away from the board and Yuri smiled widely as she saw her name on a
space where a “Ms. Park” had been.
-----
“Hey. Tired?”
“Nah, my eyes just hurt a bit. I just edited a hundred photos, you know?”
Taeyeon stretched in her chair and heard a few joints cracked. Sunny flinched and grimaced at
her before shaking her head towards her best friend.
“You must be getting really old for your bones to crack like that.”
“They’ve been like that ever since. I think I have loose joints or something.” Taeyeon shrugged
as she turned off her laptop and tidied her desk.
She was picking up a few folders when her eyes landed on the single frame that’s sitting on her
desk, and almost instantly, Taeyeon’s eyes soften at the person in the photograph.
Sunny didn’t miss the longing in her best friend’s eyes and she can’t help but pity her.
They had the right love at the perfect time. But… what went wrong?
“I miss her so much, Sunny.” Taeyeon said softly.
Taeyeon cradled the frame in her hand and smiled sadly. It was just a simple shot, a silhouette of
a girl wearing a white flowing dress facing the sunset, the subtle light of the setting sun
backlighting her perfect form while the wind made her skirt and hair dance along with it. She
was standing on the shore and the sea had reflected the sun’s rays perfectly.
Yes it was a simple photo of a simple girl, but for Taeyeon, it was the most beautiful photograph
she had ever taken in her entire life.
“I know. I miss her too.”
Taeyeon looked at Sunny and smiled.
Smile. The only thing she can do.
Her best friend gave her a soft pat on her cheek before pulling her in a tight embrace.
Back For Good

She wanted to cry, but the tears never came. They never did, at least, not anymore.
“Come on, I’ll buy you a drink. Let’s celebrate the new project and client.”
Sunny released her from the hug and started to walk as she kept an arm over Taeyeon’s shoulder,
dragging the latter towards the door.
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 2
“You… You can’t make me happy, Taeyeon. Please let me go…”
“How long have you been a wedding photographer, Taeyeon-ssi?”
Taeyeon glanced up from one of her photo books and took a sip on her coffee before answering.
“Four years now.”
“Wow! But, that’s actually not that long. I mean, compared to the other photographers that have
been in the industry for decades.”
Taeyeon and Yuri had met up for the second time to discuss about the wedding details. Wanting
to change the atmosphere a bit, the shorter girl had opted to meet in a cozy cafe just a few blocks
away from her studio.
“Photography has always been one of my hobbies, but I never thought of making it a
profession.”
“That’s interesting. Why do weddings though? Why not fashion photography, or even nature?”
Taeyeon smiled at Yuri before leaning back on her chair. She took a glance outside the window,
towards the passing cars and the people strolling outside. For four years she had forced herself to
look at life differently, taking in every single detail for it makes up and completes the bigger
picture.
She had decided to just let go of everything and start fresh.
At least she thought she had, but obviously it wasn’t the case. She picked up new hobbies, a new
job, a new outlook in life, but as time went by, Taeyeon had realized how everything “new” had
managed to connect them to her.
With a sigh, Taeyeon turned towards Yuri and gave out a sad smile.
“It reminds me of something I can never have.”
Yuri furrowed her eyebrows and just as she was about to ask, her phone lit up, displaying the
name of her fiancée.
“Excuse me Taeyeon-ssi, I need to get this.” Taeyeon nodded as Yuri excused herself.
Back For Good

The shorter girl continued to browse on the photo books while trying to quietly brainstorm on her
new client’s wedding theme when Yuri got back from her phone call.
“My fiancée is gonna join us in a bit. I can finally introduce you to the most beautiful girl in the
world,” Yuri beamed like the sun at her own introduction and Taeyeon can’t help but chuckle at
the cute display of affection.
“Do you know that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world?”
“You’re so cheesy, Taetae! I love you.”
“I love you too.”
A sad smile had once again graced the shorter girl’s face.
‘The most beautiful girl in the world, huh?’
The sound of the cafe door opening and a bell ringing snapped Taeyeon from her reverie. She
check her watch and realized that she had been spacing out for a handful of minutes now, but
fortunately, her client was too busy ogling at her photo books to notice the lack of attention.
Soon enough, a girl not taller than her approached their table.
“Oh, you’re here,” Taeyeon saw Yuri smile and stand up at the sight of the newly arrived
individual as the latter turned towards her to give her a short peck on the lips.
“Taeyeon-ssi, this is my fiancée, Jessica Jung.”
“Ah, the bride-to-be. You’re right Yuri-ssi, she is indeed a beauty.” Taeyeon stood up and
offered her hand, which the new guest graciously took before taking a seat beside her fiancée.
The three had now settled back at their table and continued to discuss the upcoming event. After
flipping in and out of some of the photo books that Taeyeon brought as pegs, Jessica had started
to initiate small talk. It is indeed rare to have a meeting with the wedding photographer Kim
Taeyeon without having to rush or dodge several new clients.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Miss Kim. I’m a fan,” Jessica started as she sipped her latte.
“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you too, Miss Jung. Or should I say future Mrs. Kwon?”
She saw Jessica blush for a bit and it made her chuckle. The couple was acting really cute in
front of her and she can’t help but be jealous.
‘It has been so long… I wonder how it feels like to be in love again… To be with someone
again…’
Back For Good

“I’m glad that you can accommodate our wedding, Ms. Kim. I was really excited when Yuri here
told me the good news.”
“It was a funny story actually. I was about to break the bad news to your fiancée here when my
client who had previously owned the slot the same date as your wedding withdrew her
reservation,” Taeyeon explained.
The rest of the day had been spent on brainstorming and casual talk between the three and not
long after, they had reluctantly separated as they day was nearing its end. Taeyeon admitted that
it Yuri and Jessica’s company had helped her mind stray from its normal thinking. Somehow,
she had enjoyed teasing the new couple, something she rarely did with her clients. She
surprisingly felt comfortable with them and she was thankful for it. At least it would ensure a
smooth working relationship with them, and she doesn’t mind getting new friends too.
Taeyeon stood still just outside the café and looked up at the night sky. The stars were shining
brightly tonight, and though the moon was shyly hiding behind the clouds, the stars were enough
to illuminate the peaceful dark atmosphere. She breathed in the cold air and started walking
towards the direction of her apartment.
Tonight, she’ll come home to a quiet apartment, crawl under the coldness of the sheets on an
empty bed and wait until sleep takes over her and dream of that day again like a broken record.
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 3
“Do you, Kim Taeyeon, take this lovely woman as your lawfully wedded wife? To love and to
hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, ‘til the day you both shall live?”
“I do, and always will.”
“And you…?”
“I… I—I’m sorry, Taeyeon.”
“Are you sure about this? Taeng?”
Sunny worriedly furrowed her eyebrows at her best friend when she saw where the Kwon-Jung
Nuptial will be held.
“Of course,” Taeyeon said as she zipped her luggage, “It’s been four years, Sunny. I’m quite sure
I’d be able to do my job properly without sobbing.” She chuckled.
“Want me to go with you?”
“Oh no, buddy. You’re not going to use my tragic past and bail out of YOUR client, no matter
how crazy and demanding they are.” Taeyeon gave her best friend a warning glare before
continuing to check her cameras and equipment.
“Besides, it’s just for two weeks. It can also serve as a short vacation for me and I seriously need
to unwind anyway. It just so happen that it’s on that beach.”
“Taeng.”
Taeyeon heard the softness on Sunny’s voice and stopped what she was doing. She approached
her best friend and held the latter’s hands before giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“I’m fine, Sunny. I really am. I know I haven’t been doing a good job moving on, and I know
that it has been years, but… I love her, I still do. I meant what I said on that altar, until the day
we both shall live, together or not…” Taeyeon unconsciously reached for the pair of rings on her
necklace as she returned to her luggage. Sunny didn’t miss the gesture but decided to stay mum.
To say that her best friend was hurting was an understatement.
Taeyeon is broken and is beyond repair, no matter how good she hides it with her smiles and
grins.
“Okay. Just… call me as soon as you arrive there, okay? And call me if anything comes up, and I
mean it Taeyeon. Anything.”
Sunny held her best friend in an embrace, which the latter immediately returned.
Back For Good

“Yes, mom,” Taeyeon chuckled.
Sunny rolled her eyes as she hit the back of her stubborn friend’s head.
-----
“Hey, you made it!”
Taeyeon saw Yuri sprinting towards her in her flip flops. She reached out her hand to shake the
latter’s but almost fell onto the sand as her client-turned-friend pounced on her with a hug.
“Seobang, release the poor girl,” Yuri immediately released the awkwardly standing Taeyeon at
the voice of her fiancée and scratched her head shyly. “Please forgive her; she doesn’t know how
to control herself. Hi, you made it.” Jessica approached Taeyeon slowly and gave the latter a
gentler hug and a pat on the back.
“I’m glad to be here,” the shorter girl whispered as she returned the hug.
The three had managed to build a more friendly relationship despite starting off as mere clients.
They had been meeting weekly for three months that turned to almost every day as they shifted
from discussing the wedding to just plainly hanging out. To say that they had passed the hand-
shaking stage is a perfect description of where their friendship is now, too bad Taeyeon wasn’t
given the memo, at least not until Yuri decided to attack at the sight of her.
“Sorry, Taeyeon. I was just really anxious, I mean, I was worried that your previous client might
have decided to push through with her reservation and I really, really, really want to have
beautiful wedding photos with my Sica baby and yeah… And now I’m just babbling, sorry.”
Taeyeon saw Jessica approached the embarrassed Yuri and gave her a peck on the cheek. She
felt a lump on her throat formed as she looked away briefly from the couple.
She saw a lot more couples on the beach surrounding them and she couldn’t help but shake her
head at her current precipice.
‘I think Sunny’s right. This project is suicide…’
“Hey, are you okay?” Yuri saw the uncomfortable look on Taeyeon’s face as she finally had the
will to turn away from her fiancée.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired from the long drive, that’s all.”
Taeyeon managed to hide her discomfort with a dorky grin, and fortunately for the couple’s
ignorance on her past, they immediately believed her.
Back For Good

“Well let’s go and have you checked in so you could rest—“
“Excuse me, Ms. Kwon!”
The three turned their attention towards what seems to be as the resort manager as the poor guy
was running breathlessly towards them. He stopped right in front of them, his hands on his knees
as he was trying to catch his breath.
“I-I’m sorry, Ms. Kwon, Ms. Jung, but there seems to be a… a slight problem with the rooms
you booked.”
Yuri frowned at the manager.
And Taeyeon swore that she heard the manager’s irregular heart beat from where she’s standing
at the sight of Jessica’s murderous glare.
-----
She felt the sand under the soles of her feet as it tickled her. She buried her toes further into the
grains, making her let out a long gentle sigh. It has been four years, four long years of acceptance
and understanding, and now she had found herself standing on the same shore, looking out on the
same horizon that once became witness to her breaking heart.
Taeyeon held her camera in front of her face to capture the setting sun. It had made the sky
looked like an abstract palette of pinks and blues and purples; it was perfect.
Click.
It was beautiful.
She gently swung her camera strap over her shoulder, her eyes still lingering at the ball of fire
slowly sinking into the sea.
“Miss Kim,” she turned towards the voice, “we’re sorry for the inconvenience that happened
earlier but the hotel had finally fixed everything and you’re room is ready. Now if you please,
I’ll show you to your suite.”
“It’s no problem. Thank you.”
She smiled at the courteous hotel staff before following the man back to the hotel.
Taeyeon saw Yuri at the lobby and the girl immediately approached her.
Back For Good

“I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?”
“Good news. Shoot.”
“Well they’ve managed to give you a room, a very nice suite actually, after Jessica threatened to
give the resort a very bad review, but…”
Taeyeon shuddered at the thought. Jessica is a well known magazine editor and a simple article
about how badly a resort had treated her would spread like wildfire.
“I’m assuming the ‘but’ is for the bad news?” Taeyeon challenged Yuri to continue.
“But, you have to share it with the maid of honour.”
The photographer was about to say something when Yuri effectively cut her off.
“But you don’t have to worry about privacy because the suite has two separate bedrooms joined
by a living room. You’ll have your own bathroom too so please, please, please don’t back out…”
Yuri bit her fingernails as she anxiously waited for the girl’s response. Taeyeon looked at her
blankly for a handful of minutes before bursting out in a very unladylike laugh. The smaller girl
had to hold herself firm as she almost doubled over from laughing at her new friend.
“Seriously Yuri, why do you keep on thinking that I’d ditch your wedding? I already said yes,
didn’t I? And you’re my friend now, you and Jessica, so I’m not gonna bail out on you, okay?
And if it makes you feel better, I’ve already signed the contract,” Taeyeon reassured Yuri as her
laughter died down into a chuckle.
“Thanks, Taeyeon.” The taller girl sighed in relief as she gave her a reassuring smile.
“No problem,” Taeyeon awkwardly swung her short arms on Yuri’s shoulder as she semi-
dragged the latter towards the bell boy who was waiting for them beside the elevator. “Anyway, I
don’t believe I’ve met the maid of honour yet.”
They were now in the elevator and as much as Taeyeon dislike the fact that she’d be somewhat
staying with a stranger, it would be appropriate to at least know who she’s gonna spend two
weeks with.
“Oh, she’s Sica’s best friend from the US. She’d be arriving later tonight, I think. Don’t worry;
she’s really friendly, a little loud, but absolutely friendly. Oh, and she has a kid too but she’s
really adorable and polite. I hope you don’t mind...”
“I’d love to have a kid with you someday.”

“Huh? How are we even gonna—“
Back For Good

“There are ways, sweetie. We can adopt or maybe do it artificially? Whichever way, I want to
build a happy family with you.”
“Cheesy Taetae.”
“Don’t worry, I love kids. And I’m used to loudness,” Taeyeon chuckled, a sad smile gracing her
lips at the thought of her.
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 4
“I’m sorry, Taeyeon. I… I can’t marry you.”

“Wha—Tiffany!”
“So you’re saying you’re not going back to America after the wedding?”
“Yeah,” Tiffany stared at the glass in her hand before downing the shot in one go. “There’s no
reason for me to be there, not anymore. I need to start anew and aside from L.A., this is the only
place I consider home.”
“Well they’ve always said that home is where the heart is.”
The two girls sat by the bar as they waited for Yuri and the wedding photographer. She had just
arrived a few hours ago complete with jetlag, but as soon as Jessica had seen her step foot on the
hotel lobby, the bride-to-be had dragged her immediately towards the bar, all the while calling
her a lousy maid of honour for resisting the bride-to-be’s requests for a few drinks.
And now that they’ve settled and have had a few shots, the slight buzz of the alcohol had
managed to calm her nerves and loosen up her tired body.
“Juhyun’s really grown now, hasn’t she?”
“She has. And thank you for letting me tuck her in before dragging me here.”
“You’re welcome. Oh, have you seen your new roommate?”
“No, she wasn’t there when we settled in—“
“Hey, ladies.”
The two girls turned their heads towards the new comer and instantly smiled.
“Welcome back, Fany.” Yuri hugged her briefly before skipping her way towards Jessica to give
the latter a hug.
“Missed me?” The tanned girl softly cooed as she felt Jessica’s arms hugging her waist.
“Wow, you lovesick puppies.” Tiffany faked gagged at the sight of the coupled and earned
herself some glares. She smiled at her friends’ sweetness and felt a sting in her eyes.
She had something like that, once. But then she was too foolish to let it go.
Back For Good

Tiffany turned her body towards the bar as she rested her elbow on the bar countertop, her chin
propped up by her hand. She lazily eyed the different liquor bottles that were displayed before
her while she mindlessly swirled the cocktail that was in her glass.
She had went back to Seoul, with her daughter in tow, to escape the person, the reason why she
had committed the biggest mistake she had ever done in her life. Tiffany silently mourned over
her stupidity, though it was rather late.
Four years late, to be exact.
“Seobang, where’s Tae—“
“Hi.”
Tiffany snapped back as she heard the familiar voice. Four years apart from each other did
nothing to her memory as she would never forget that voice. Her body froze and her throat went
dry at the sight of the one person she’s been longing to see ever since she had stepped foot in
Korea.
She felt the air in her lungs being sucked out as she tried to keep herself sane and composed but
with Taeyeon standing right there, a mere two feet away, Tiffany willed herself to stay seated
and not throw herself towards the latter.
“There you are! Taeyeon, meet my best friend slash maid of honour—“
“Tiffany.”
-----
Taeyeon couldn’t hide the surprise in her eyes. Tiffany was the last person she’d expect to see
but there she was, looking all beautiful and perfect, everything Taeyeon had remembered her to
be. Time didn’t do justice to her as she looked more radiant than before. Taeyeon suddenly
remembered why she fell in love with the girl at the first place.
“H-hi, it’s nice to see you again,” she heard Tiffany whisper as the girl evaded her gaze.
“Hi. Same.” Taeyeon wanted to beat her head with her camera. She can do better than two
words.
The couple looked at the two with furrowed eyebrows. It had never occurred to them as to how
the maid of honour and the wedding photographer would know each other.
“You guys know each other—“
Back For Good

“Excuse me Yuri, but I’d like to borrow your fiancée for a while. Thank you!”
The short girl took a seat at the bar as she watched Tiffany drag Jessica away from earshot. She
ordered two bottles of beer and gave the other one to Yuri.
“What was that all about?” Yuri asked as she took a swig from the bottle. “You know Tiffany?”
The question was inevitable, Taeyeon thought. After the awkward introduction, it would be
rather inappropriate NOT to pry. The tension was just too thick to let it pass by.
“Let’s just say we go way back.” Taeyeon answered before she let the bitter taste of malt wash
her drying throat.
She gripped the bottle tightly in her hands, feeling its cold exterior as the droplets of moist travel
along her fingers before inevitably falling on the bar countertop.
Taeyeon didn’t know what to feel.
She was thankful, though, that Tiffany had decided to talk to Jessica away from her, because
frankly, being in the other girl’s presence a second longer might be fatal to her sanity and her
gradually healing heart.
Gulping the last of her beer, Taeyeon paid for the two bottles and turned to Yuri as she bid the
bewildered girl goodbye. Her head hurts and she just wanted to get away from everything that is
Tiffany and a quiet walk on the beach sounds like a good idea right now. Not waiting for the
other two girls to return, Taeyeon exited the bar and headed towards the shore.
She also had a call to make.
-----
“Jessi, where did you find her?!”
Tiffany tried her best not to shout at her friend as she shook the latter mercilessly by the arm.
“Oh my God, Tiff, I swear if you don’t release me at this instant, I’m going to claw your eyes
out!” Hissed Jessica. “And what do you mean ‘where did I find her’? She’s a famous wedding
photographer!”
“What?! How?! B-but she… She’s not… Tae’s not a…”
‘Four years, Tiffany. You’ve been gone for four years. A lot can happen in four years…’
Back For Good

“What the hell’s happening to you? Why are you stuttering?”
Tiffany closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. She took a glimpse at the shorter girl that was
drinking at the bar and couldn’t help but sigh. She’s still beautiful, she thought.
“So? Are you going to tell me or not? Cause if you won’t I’d like to get back to my fiancée
please.”
Jessica had successfully snapped her out from her shameless ogling. She felt ashamed, unworthy,
to even look at her, to even breathe the same air as Taeyeon.
“Jessi, remember when we were at L.A. four years ago? That thing I told you about what
happened to me back here in Korea? Well…”
Jessica stared at her blankly, as if waiting for her to get to the point. Tiffany waited for a few
minutes to let the information sink in on Jessica, knowing that the latter is a little slow. She then
saw a little flicker on her friend’s eyes before seeing them opening further wide.
“No way… No way in hell… Don’t tell me…?”
“Yes.”
“She’s Taetae?”
“Yes.”
“Taetae is Kim Taeyeon?”
“Yes.”
“THE Kim Taeyeon? YOUR Kim Taeyeon?! The one that got away?!”
“Okay, that was cheesy, but yeah…” Tiffany turned her attention back to the bar and noticed that
Taeyeon wasn’t there anymore. “The one that got away…”
She held back the tears that were threatening to fall.
-----
“Sunny, she’s here… Tiffany’s here.”
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 5
There’s something about the night that made Taeyeon calm. It’s not necessarily the sound of the
waves gently caressing the shore, or the sound of the wind softly whispering in her ears, but just
the feeling of being engulfed in silence in the dead of the night gave the girl a sense of peace and
security, albeit a little lonely.
Taeyeon sat on the shore and inhaled deeply as she placed her hand over her chest. It had been a
full hour since she left the bar and her heart have never calmed ever since the faithful reunion.
And that short phone call with Sunny didn’t help at all.
Lying down on the sand, Taeyeon started to count the stars one by one.
“One, two, three, fou—Yah! Taetae!”

“I’m sorry, Fany. You look so cute I just couldn’t resist giving you a kiss!”
“The stars look so bright tonight.”
“Yeah, they do. And tomorrow night, they’d look even brighter.”
“Mmm…”
Taeyeon couldn’t remember if the stars were indeed brighter that night. To be honest, she didn’t
care; she didn’t give a damn. Her eyes were filled with tears to see clearly anyway.
‘Tiffany, why are you here?’
-----
Tiffany found herself trudging the short walk from the bar towards her hotel suite and dreaded
the inevitable second meeting. After Taeyeon left the bar, the three had decided to order some
more beers, even a few hard shots, just to drown the awkwardness left by the photographer.
Yet now, as Tiffany neared the door to her hotel room, she felt every drop of alcohol on her
bloodstream dissipate to nothingness, leaving nothing but painful sober consciousness.
She stood in front of the only thing that’s separating her from her past and the future that she
could’ve gotten and breathed deeply. Tiffany contemplated in knocking then realized, albeit with
annoyance, that she had her own room key.
‘You just saw her for a few minutes, exchanged a few words and you’re already a mess…’
Back For Good

With one final sigh, she slid in her key card and opened the door slowly.
“Mommy!”
Tiffany was assaulted by her daughter who playfully latched to her leg as soon as she reached the
living room.
“Hi, baby,” Tiffany picked the girl up and kissed her forehead, “What are you doing up?”
“Woke up and mommy gone.” Her little kid pouted at her.
“Aaaww, I’m sorry baby. Mommy was with Aunt Jessi and Aunt Yuri.”
“It’s okay mommy, I play with T-Taey… Taetae!”
Only then that Tiffany had noticed the presence of another person in the living room. She
snapped her head towards the soft chuckle and for the second time that day, she got the shock of
her life.
“I was about to sleep when I heard her crying from inside your room. I’m sorry for barging in
without your permission but I had to go in. I thought something happened to her.”
Taeyeon smiled, rather sadly, at her before giving her daughter a gentle look.
Tiffany felt her eyes sting as she tightened her hold on Juhyun that was nuzzled under her chin,
on the verge of falling asleep.
“T-Thanks, Taeyeon.” She stuttered.
Silence engulfed them and Tiffany felt suffocated. Being in the same room with Taeyeon isn’t
helping her, and without Jessica and Yuri to help ease up the mood, she’s bound to self destruct.
“She’s beautiful.”
“H-huh?”
“Your daughter.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
Tiffany smiled as she tucked in a few strands of hair away from her little girl’s face before giving
her a soft peck on the cheek, careful enough not to wake the kid up.
“Just like her mom.”
Tiffany turned her attention away from her daughter to bravely look at the person across her. Her
heart started beating wildly in her chest and for a while there, she was pretty sure that Juhyun
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would be awaken by the sound of her erratic heartbeats.
She didn’t know what to make of that statement, and she sure as hell didn’t know how to
respond. Was she even supposed to hear that, she thought? Nevertheless, it made all her insides
churn and her brain to short circuit.
As much as Tiffany wanted to turn away from Taeyeon’s soft yet deep gaze, she found herself
drowning in those sad brown orbs even more.
And even long after the shorter girl had bid her goodnight, Tiffany was still standing on the same
spot holding her daughter, thinking of why she had let go of the best thing that has ever
happened to her.
-----
Ring.
“Hello?”
“I’m on my way there.”
“No, you’re not, Sunny.”
“Yes, I am, and you can’t do anything about it.”
“Sun—“
“I am meeting you there, and it’s final, Taeng.”
A sigh.
“Fine. Drive carefully.”
“I will, bye.”
“Bye.”
Taeyeon threw her phone and heard it land somewhere inside her bedroom. The events of today
had taken its toll on her small body and she just wants to sink in the sheets and sleep for a week.
Heaving a sigh, she dragged her newly showered self towards the bed and plopped face first on
her pillow. She wanted to smother herself right then and there, end her life along with every
burden she’s carrying and just pass away peacefully.
But no.
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She chuckled at her current predicament.
Taeyeon lay on her back and stared at the ceiling. Her hotel bedroom is quite big, cosy yet
extravagant. But right now, she could be sleeping in a palace and she wouldn’t care. Heck, she
wouldn’t even notice. ‘Cause the only thing that’s keeping her mind preoccupied right at that
moment was the woman who was staying in the room across from hers.
She took the chain of her necklace out from under her shirt and stared at the pair of wedding
bands attached to it.
“Oh my god! I forgot about the rings!”

“Calm down, Fany. I’ve taken care of them. I know you’re too stressed about the planning
already, but let me handle this one, okay?”
“Okay, Taetae. Thank you.”
Taeyeon took out one of them and read the inscription inside before sliding it on her ring finger.
The sign of feeling unwanted, sitting right there on her ring finger.
‘You didn’t even get to see them, Fany…’
She even designed them herself.
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 6
Tiffany stretched out her arm towards the other side of the bed and found it empty. Sleep hasn’t
fully left her body as she tried to pat the cushion, hoping to reach for her daughter’s body that
was probably curled up in a cute ball that somehow rolled away from her embrace while they
were in slumber.
A few more minutes of patting and her search was deemed to be in vain. The realization that her
daughter might be missing had struck her, making her bolt out in bed and her blood to rush to her
head. Trying to slip in her slippers while trying to shake her head from the sudden head rush,
Tiffany hurriedly went out of her bedroom only to find Juhyun happily perched on the small
dining table drinking her milk and munching on a toast.
And a certain short girl standing in front of the modest kitchen stove that their suite provided.
“Morning, mommy,” she heard her daughter say.
“Good morning, baby.”
“Tae… Taey—Taetae gave me bread,” Juhyun said as she struggled to pronounce the name with
her furrowed eyebrows. It was adorable.
But the familiar nickname made Tiffany’s stomach churn.
“I’m sorry, she seems to have a hard time saying your name.” Tiffany said as she turned towards
the other girl at the stove.
“It’s fine.” She heard Taeyeon answer without even looking back at her.
With an inaudible sigh, Tiffany focused her attention back to her daughter. Being able to stay in
the same room as Taeyeon should already be considered as a blessing for her, because in all
honesty, what she did should be considered as a crime already.
‘At least she’s talking to you…’
“Did you say thank you for the food, baby?”
Juhyun nodded as Tiffany picked her up, making the little girl sit on her lap as she continued her
breakfast.
“She was already up when I went out of my room so I decided to make breakfast. Good thing the
fridge was full so…”
Tiffany saw Taeyeon turned towards her, all the while scratching the back of her head, a sure
sign of shyness. She couldn’t help but smile.
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‘Some things never change, huh?’
She genuinely thought Taeyeon was mad at her. Well, she should be, right?
“She usually wakes up earlier than me too, this little ahjumma,” She said as she fixed her
daughter’s bed hair.
Tiffany gulped as she remembered the original “little ahjumma” in her life.
“Juhyun not ahjumma, mommy,” the little girl pouted before taking a big bite from her toast.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re mommy’s baby right? Right?” Tiffany squeezed her daughter tight and
was rewarded by a cute giggle.
“I made eggs and bacon, and there’s toast in the oven. I also ordered coffee from room service, it
would be here soon. I, uhm,” Taeyeon stuttered as she placed the plate on the table in front of
Tiffany. “I need to, err, go and plan my shots for today’s photo shoot. Oh and, uhm, good
morning Tiffany.”
Tiffany saw the short girl scurry away even before she could reply.
-----
Taeyeon had to leave before she could spill the tears that were building up in her lids. The
mother-daughter interaction she had seen earlier this morning was too much for her to handle,
and it reminded her of something she could have had. Not that it’s her fault, or maybe it is, but
still, the image that she had difficultly tried to erase had seemed to etch itself in her mind.
‘I always knew you’d be a great mom…’
She was lucky enough that Tiffany was too focused on Juhyun that the latter had missed the
longing look she had on the two. It would have looked creepy and it would have embarrassed her
more than she already was. Taeyeon was thankful though, that she has had the chance to make
breakfast for Tiffany and her daughter, and somehow she had felt a sense of accomplishment by
doing so. That’s the closest thing to a family that you can get, she said to herself bitterly.
She changed into her casual clothes and took her camera. Taeyeon needs to remind herself that
she wasn’t in vacation and that work needs to be done despite the paradise she’s currently in.
With a sigh, Taeyeon exited her bedroom and finally the hotel room. She felt the weight of the
camera on her shoulder and for a while, she thought of it as a burden. Yes, she enjoyed taking
pictures of couples in the most natural element, love. But every time she snaps a photo, a little
part of her dies along with her lost aspirations of ending up with the one she loves.
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She didn’t know why she caged herself in a profession where everything she sees reminds her of
her heartbreak. Her best friend told her it was suicide but a few months into the business had
taught her so many things.
That love is still there.
Though not for everyone such as herself, it still exists.
“Kim Taeyeon!”
The short girl turned around only to find herself being rammed head on by a much shorter girl.
“Yah! Lee Sunk—“
“Are you okay? How are you feeling? Have you guys talked? How is she? Why aren’t you
answering?!”
Sunny held her cheeks in between both palms and squished her face. She might have looked like
a silly goldfish then but her best friend’s grip tightened even more when she tried to pry the
hands off of her.
“What?! Why aren’t you talkin—Yah!”
Taeyeon had managed to smack Sunny at the back of her head, effectively freeing herself from
the hold.
“How can I even talk when you’re not even letting me open my mouth?!” She scolded her best
friend.
“Heh, sorry.”
She saw the shorter girl grin and everything is well again. She knows full well that Sunny was
more than worried for her, so she decided to let the childish act go. Besides, no matter how much
she didn’t want to admit it, she was relieved that Sunny was at least there to pick her up in case
something happens.
And her instincts are telling her that something is indeed bound to happen, now that she’s in the
same place as Tiffany.
“I’ll tell you everything over breakfast. Come on.” Taeyeon said as she dragged her best friend
towards the hotel café.
-----
Back For Good

Tiffany was in paradise.
“Now that I can finally make you mine, officially, I won’t settle for anything less, Fany.”
“I could get married in a closet for all I care… As long as I’m with you.”
“I’ll marry you in paradise.”
She kept her tears at bay as she faced the horizon, the sky painted with azure and a slight tint of
purple. It looked almost the same, that one day four years ago, yet she was puzzled why the
regret she felt right now wasn’t present then.
It could have saved a huge heartache and could’ve salvaged a broken trust.
Tiffany stood at the shore and let the sea caress her feet in a gentle rush. It was cold to the touch,
too cold, almost unforgivable.
Like what she had done that broke the only person who loves her more than anything else in the
world.
That’s right, it was unforgivable.
At least now, she’s sure of it. Taeyeon loved her like no other.
Loved.
How could she have ever doubted that in the first place?
‘Taetae… I’m sorry…’
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 7
“You said we’ll be together forever, Fany… Then why are you leaving me now? Why?...”
“I want a family, Taetae. I—“
“We are gonna have one! You and me! And we’ll have kids! We’ll adopt, we’ll—“
“A real family, Taeyeon… My own flesh and blood… A-and… you can’t give me that…”
“You’re really stupid, you know that?”
“Wha—“
“Quite hopeless too.”
“Soonkyu—“
“What? I’m just stating facts, Taeng.”
“Don’t make me smack you with my camera.”
Sunny shrugged as she sipped her cold drink while eyeing Tiffany who was playing with her
daughter near the shore. Taeyeon followed her best friend’s line of sight and smiled
unconsciously as she saw Tiffany pick Juhyun up and tickle her.
They looked so happy.
Tiffany looked so happy.
“Does she know you’re here?” Taeyeon asked the shorter girl and was answered with a negative.
“She hasn’t seen me yet, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Ah…”
Taeyeon heard every sound but nothing was being processed in her brain. It seems like all of her
senses had shut down except for her sight, but even that one has been dominated by tunnel vision
with only Tiffany and Juhyun visible.
She could’ve had that happiness, that fairy tale ending.
‘You’re really unfair, Fany… How can you ask for something that you know is impossible for me
to give?’
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-----
Tiffany held her daughter close as the little kid latched on to her neck lovingly. Running and
playing around the beach had drained them out, but seeing her daughter enjoying herself made
every drop of fatigue disappear from her body.
She kissed Juhyun’s forehead softly before tucking a few loose strands behind her daughter’s
ear. Tiffany stared at her with soft eyes and held her tightly against her body.
If there’s one thing she didn’t regret in her life, then that would be bearing a beautiful daughter.
The kid was a product of love, supposedly, before her father had bailed out upon the knowledge
of getting Tiffany pregnant. Yes, he was an asshole, but she loved him genuinely, at least until he
branded himself of being a jerk when Tiffany woke up one day and found him missing along
with all of his belongings.
It hurt her, so much, that the moment she cried when she realized that the man had abandoned
her and the seed that’s inside of her, she was brought to that day when she, too, had broken a
person’s heart.
So this is how it feels like, she thought.
Tiffany let out a sigh as she walked back towards the hotel to let her baby rest and sleep in a
proper bed.
-----
“Is that—Oh my god, Sunny?!”
Taeyeon turned towards the rather hushed excited squealing and found Tiffany somewhat
rushing towards Sunny and her, with little Juhyun sleeping in the girl’s arms. She was about to
greet her when she heard Sunny let out a squeal of her own.
“Fany!!!”
‘Great… Just great… It’s college all over again.’ Taeyeon rolled her eyes before stepping aside.
“What are you doing here?”
Tiffany half squealed as she shifted Juhyun’s body in her arms, careful not to wake the sleeping
child. Taeyeon eyed the poor kid and wanted to take the girl in her arms before her mom can
squeeze her because of excitement.
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She didn’t miss, though, how Sunny’s eyes shift swiftly from Tiffany to her kid then back at her.
“I’m here to help Taeng with the Kwon-Jung wedding! How about you?! It’s been so long! Oh
my God, we need to catch up! Now!”
Taeyeon continued to stare at the two as if she was watching a silent film. It was funny how the
two loud mouths had managed to lower their voices yet simultaneously show giddiness. It was a
wonderful feat in her opinion.
She furrowed her eyebrows when a pout suddenly grace Tiffany’s lips.
“I’m sorry, Sunny. I can’t right now, I need to take care of my baby. Oh! This is Juhyun, by the
way, my daughter. Sorry, she’s quite knocked out from playing.” She heard Tiffany say
apologetically.
Sunny went closer towards her long lost friend to take a good look at the adorable kid. Taeyeon
turned away as she saw a familiar look from her best friend.
Pity.
“Aaaww, she’s so cute! I bet she’s an angel.”
“She is, when she’s asleep. Wait until she wakes up and she’ll flood you with questions.” Tiffany
chuckled as she gave a light kiss on her daughter’s chubby cheek.
The two kept on talking and Taeyeon felt like she doesn’t exist. It has always been like that, she
recalled. Whenever Sunny and Tiffany met somewhere, even with her at the side, they tend to
dissolve into their own world of gossips and stories and some other stuff Taeyeon was not
interested in knowing. But in spite of that, she patiently waits beside Tiffany, secretly yet
deliberately gazes at her as she talks animatedly, or smiles widely, or frowns deeply, whatever
the topic was about.
She’d sometimes reach for the latter’s hand and cradle it gently in between her own, playing and
lacing their fingers, sometimes just staring at the lines on Tiffany’s palm as she trace them.
Taeyeon would sit there quietly, content in being just in the same space as the owner of her heart,
satisfied in just feeling that soft pulse that’s beating rhythmically underneath Tiffany’s smooth
skin.
It was a memory long passed, but it was unforgettable nonetheless.
“Sorry, Sunny. Some other time, okay? I need to tuck—“
“Go with her, I… I’ll watch over your daughter.”
Taeyeon didn’t know what came over her. Her lips moved on their own and the words had
slipped off her tongue before she can even prevent them. Her eyes widen as she finally realized
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what she had done.
Thankfully, Tiffany missed it.
“Are you su—“
“Yeah. I, uh, I’m sure. Now go, go catch up with that shorty.”
“Hey! Who you calling shorty, you midget?!”
She found herself walking towards Tiffany before carefully extracting the sleeping girl in the
latter’s arms. Taeyeon was so adamant into holding Juhyun properly and comfortably that she
missed the shocked look on Tiffany’s face or that insult launched by Sunny.
Taeyeon held Juhyun securely in her arms and unconsciously smiled. The girl was indeed an
angel.
‘But she’s not yours, Taeyeon… She’ll never be…’
She swallowed the lump on her throat as she continued to cradle the motionless girl against her
body.
“Taeyeon, I don’t want to trouble you.” The softness in Tiffany’s voice made her gulp.
“It’s fine, Tiffany. I’ll take care of her. Go.”
Taeyeon smiled at Tiffany, genuinely, and she felt like everything’s fine again. Like that tragedy
four years ago never happened and that she’s holding their own daughter now, the fruit of their
love and marriage.
But that wasn’t the case, much to her dismay. Reality is cruel.
“Thank you, Taet—Taeyeon.” She heard the almost slip.
“You’re welcome.”
‘Always…’
-----
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Chapter 8
“Fany! Wait! W-where are you going?!”

“Taeyeon, please…”
“Why are you doing this?...”
“I’m sorry Taeyeon, but please… please let me go.”
“I missed you, Fany.”
“I missed you too. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you guys.” Especially Taeyeon, she
wanted to add.
Tiffany had once again found herself in the bar, this time with Sunny, sharing a few drinks after
that overly exciting meeting at the hotel corridor. They have been there for a handful of hours
now, just drinking the night away, talking about anything and everything under the sun.
Including Taeyeon.
“Sunny… Tae… Taeyeon… How…?”
“How was she?”
Tiffany had been dying to ask ever since they’ve started talking about what had happened for the
last four years.
She saw Sunny shift her eyes to the side before sighing.
‘It’s that bad, huh?...’
“I don’t know if I should tell you anything, Fany…”
“Please, Sunny? I-I want to know—“
“Know how much she suffered when you left her?”
Tiffany flinched at the sudden hostility but she knew she deserved it. She knows how much she
had hurt Taeyeon, how much she had practically destroyed her heart.
“I… I’m sorry.”
“No, Sunny, don’t apologize. It’s my fault.”
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Silence dawned upon the two as they continued drinking. Gone were the comfortable chatters
and Tiffany wanted to beat her head with the bottle. She leaned back and turned to observe the
bar instead. It was the same place where she met Taeyeon again. Even after four long years,
Taeyeon still had that effect on her. She’d feel her heart stop for a second before gradually
increasing beats. Every sound around her gets drowned out in her mind and the only thing her
eyes can focus on was Taeyeon’s.
She was about to excuse herself when she heard Sunny speak.
“She stayed here, even after you left. She spent your supposed honeymoon days alone, doing
God knows what. I didn’t know, ‘cause she insisted, heck, she pleaded that we all leave her alone
to think. So we gave her that time.”
Tiffany clutched her fist tightly. There’s nobody else to blame but her.
“Taeyeon came back, after two weeks, looking like a different person. Honestly, I was expecting
a very depressed, self loathing Taeyeon but… She was all smiles when she got back. And to be
honest… it hurt us more to see her like that. You know how she is; she likes to bottle everything
inside.”
Tiffany merely nodded.
“And, a few months after that, she started her wedding photography business. You do know why
she chose weddings, right?” Sunny softly stared at her and she wanted to cry.
Yes, she knows.
Another round of silence engulfed the two with only the sound of clinking glasses and bottles
can be heard clearly. Tiffany had accustomed herself of the familiar sound that the bar made
until Sunny had decided to pull her out of the safe confines of familiarity that she had surrounded
herself with.
"Now tell me, Fany... What exactly happened?"
Tiffany let out a sigh before pouring out everything to the shorter girl.
-----
Sunny slumped at her hotel room sofa and heaved a sigh. Drinking was never a problem for her;
she knows her alcohol tolerance. But the talk she had with Tiffany had stressed her so much,
even more than that pile of work she deliberately left just to be in Taeyeon’s rescue.
What she told Tiffany was true, all of it.
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She just omitted the part where she accidentally walked in on a sleeping Taeyeon one night they
had to stay in the studio and learned how the poor girl silently cries in her sleep almost every
night while calling out to the love of her life.
Tiffany doesn’t need to know that.
-----
She found herself awkwardly standing in front of her hotel suite again, clutching the doorknob
with one hand while holding the key card in the other. Tiffany felt like she was about to open
Pandora’s box and doom the whole universe because of it, but in reality, she had doomed hers a
long time ago.
A click of the lock and she’s inside.
Tiffany went directly to her room and was surprised to see the bed empty. She turned towards the
direction of the living room and heard the low sound of the television as she neared the area.
Thinking that Taeyeon had left the thing opened, she went directly to the television to turn it off.
Just as she was about to head to Taeyeon’s room to see if her daughter was in there, she saw the
two peacefully sleeping on the sofa.
Tiffany felt her body shook, and slowly, she approached the sofa and bent down to observe the
slumbering duo.
She felt a lone tear roll down her cheek as she covered her mouth to stifle a sob as she let her
eyes drown in the sight in front of her.
Taeyeon had her body stretched on the whole length of the sofa, her head propped up nicely by a
throw pillow while Juhyun lay comfortably on her torso. The older girl had both of her arms
around the kid, securing her from falling off the sofa.
They looked peaceful.
Moreover, it was a scene that Tiffany had wanted for Juhyun and her father.
He promised her a family, their own family.
But the only thing she got was a broken heart and a broken promise.
She let the tears flow freely now. The sight in front of her had pulled on her heartstrings and she
can’t help but cry more. Tiffany had accidentally slipped out a sob and her breathing stopped
when her daughter moved. She quickly wiped the tears from her face and composed herself in
case one of them, or even both, start to wake up.
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Tiffany breathe a sigh of relief when neither opened their eyes. She continued to watch as
Juhyun clutched a fistful of Taeyeon’s shirt as the little girl snuggled more under the older girl’s
chin, the latter responding by tightening her embrace on the sleeping kid.
She didn’t have the heart to separate the two, and as much as Tiffany wanted to sleep with her
daughter beside her, she just couldn’t break the heart warming scene.
Finally smiling, Tiffany stood up and made her way towards the closet to fetch a fresh blanket.
She draped the clean sheet over the two and bent down to give Juhyun a goodnight kiss on the
forehead. She shifted her gaze on the sleeping Taeyeon and was surprised to see the latter
shedding silent tears.
She was about to wipe them when she heard Taeyeon whisper in her sleep.
And there she was, still rooted on the floor, thinking that her heart couldn't break anymore that
night.
At least, not until she heard Taeyeon’s silent plea.
-----
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Chapter 9
[FLASHBACK]
It was the perfect day for a perfect wedding.
She looked at the horizon and squinted slightly as the sun stung her eyes a bit. The wind was
blowing gently in her hair and Taeyeon couldn’t help but think that everything’s perfect.
Just like Tiffany and her smile and her crescent eyes and just, her everything.
Today was perfect.
Taeyeon heard the soft chattering seize. She stared at the sky for the last time before letting out a
smile. She was beyond nervous.
Today, she can finally make Tiffany hers.
Taking a deep breath, Taeyeon turned around and was met by the most beautiful bride in the
world. She felt her heart stop as she felt the back of her neck had started to sweat. She closed her
fists tightly just to stop them from shaking.
Not making any effort to stop the tears that were building slowly in her lids, she let them fall
freely on her cheeks. Saying that she was overwhelmed was an understatement. The universe
could end right now and she wouldn’t care. Tiffany’s longing gaze was enough for her to
survive.
With every step, a tear falls.
“Beautiful.” Taeyeon said as she held Tiffany’s hand tightly, her bride finally reaching her after
her entourage.
Today was about them, the two of them. Missed were the loving gazes of their friends and
families towards them. Right now, it’s only about Kim Taeyeon and Tiffany Hwang.
“Are you okay?”
“H-Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m fine, Taetae.” A small smile.
“Okay. Are you ready?”
“Y-yes.”
Taeyeon was still drowning in bliss that she had missed how Tiffany fidgeted beside her. Her
mind was too preoccupied by happiness that she didn’t sense the other girl’s anxiousness.
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Everything is perfect, she thought.
But reality had to be cruel.
“Do you, Kim Taeyeon, take this lovely woman as your lawfully wedded wife? To love and to
hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, ‘til the day you both shall live?”
“I do, and always will.” Taeyeon said with the widest smile she can make.
“And you…?” The wedding official turned to Tiffany.
The shorter girl looked at her soon-to-be-wife lovingly as she waited for the latter to answer. She
can’t wait to call her Mrs. Kim.
Tiffany opened her mouth but no words came out. Taeyeon started to think that something was
wrong.
“Hey, Fany, are you oka—“
“I… I—I’m sorry, Taeyeon.” Tiffany broke from her grip. “ I… I can’t marry you.”
“Wha—Tiffany!”
Everything happened so fast that even Taeyeon didn’t get the chance to blink. One second
Tiffany was standing right next to her, but now she found herself running after her bride who
was having a hard time with her gown.
“Fany! Wait! W-where are you going?!”
Taeyeon caught up to her and hugged her from the back, effectively seizing Tiffany’s movements
and running.
“Taeyeon, please…” She heard Tiffany whisper.
“Why are you doing this?...”
“I’m sorry Taeyeon, but please… please let me go.”
“Why?”
Taeyeon didn’t realize she was crying until she felt the dampness on her cheek that was resting
against Tiffany’s bare shoulder.
This isn’t real, she tried to tell herself.
“I-I don’t love you a-anymore.”
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This isn’t happening.
“You’re lying!” She gripped Tiffany’s waist tighter. “You’re lying…” It came out as a sob.
Tiffany wasn’t struggling but Taeyeon felt her slipping away; she was losing her. She didn’t
know what happened; they were fine a few moments ago.
But this… Why?
“You said we’ll be together forever, Fany… Then why are you leaving me now? Why?...”
“I want a family, Taetae. I—“
“We are gonna have one! You and me! And we’ll have kids! We’ll adopt, we’ll—“
“A real family, Taeyeon… My own flesh and blood… A-and… you can’t give me that…”
Taeyeon kept quiet.
They stood there, with Taeyeon holding on to Tiffany like there was no tomorrow. The sun had
started to set and the wind blew harsher. It felt cold.
Like Taeyeon’s heart. It felt cold.
“I… I can’t. I’m sorry…”
“Please… I… I’ll do whatever you want. I-I’ll stop doing those stuff that you hated. I’m gonna
be better! I’ll return the cap on the toothpaste! I’ll stop talking in my sleep! I-I’ll go shopping
with you more!” Taeyeon cried even harder. “I’ll never tease you anymore! I’ll paint our
apartment pink… I… I’ll—“
“You… You can’t make me happy, Taeyeon…”
The shorter girl stopped talking.
“ Please let me go…”
-----
She tried to keep herself from crying as she heard Taeyeon’s pleas.
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And now that the shorter girl who was tightly clutching her waist stopped talking, Tiffany wasn’t
sure if she liked the shouting more than the silence.
Tiffany felt like she had done the right thing. She couldn’t marry Taeyeon, not when her feelings
were wavering. It wasn’t fair for her, nor was it for Taeyeon. She didn’t asked for another love,
but it came, and she fell in love with him.
Tiffany hated herself for letting it get this far. She could have saved both of them from heartaches
if she only broke the engagement earlier. It was her fault.
She knew how petty her excuse was, but it’s the only thing she thought of to have Taeyeon let go
of her. Mentioning the other girl’s lack of ability to give her something she wanted was easier
and a lot less painful than telling her that she fell out of love for her.
Tiffany was about to ask again when she felt the arms around her waist loosen bit by bit. She
turned her body to look at Taeyeon only to see the latter’s head down and her shoulders shaking
because of the crying. She wanted to hug her, to tell her she’s sorry, but she felt her arms go
numb.
“Taetae…“
No response.
“I-I’m sorry…” She whispered to the crying girl.
“Tiffany!”
She turned her head towards the voice and found him panting while catching his breath. He
came for her.
Tiffany turned back and kissed Taeyeon’s head before running towards him.
-----
Taeyeon lifted her head and saw Tiffany running away from her through her tear-clouded eyes.
She felt numb; she felt cold.
She saw how Tiffany leaped towards him with arms wide opened, her eye smiles on full blast.
They looked happy. Tiffany looked happy.
And it wasn’t with her.
“I love you.”
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Taeyeon said to no one.
-----
Taeyeon blinked her eyes when she felt the sun’s rays hitting her face. She tried to shift her
body, only to find out that she was pinned to the sofa by a smaller one. Furrowing her eyebrows
while opening her eyes completely, she saw Juhyun’s sleeping face and automatically smiled.
It was the first time she woke up from the same dream feeling lighter. The day felt different, a
good different.
Taeyeon gently swept the few rogue strands that were covering the kid’s face and tucked them
behind her ear.
She smiled before wrapping her arms tighter around the girl as she felt herself succumb to sleep
again.
Back For Good

Chapter 10
“Taeng, wake up.”
Groan.
“Get up, now.”
“Whyyy?”
“You have a photo shoot to do, you lazy bum!”
Taeyeon bolted out of the sofa upon hearing her neglected work and immediately clutched her
chest, thinking that Juhyun was still lying on her torso.
“Wha—Where’s Juhyun?!” She screamed when she realized that the girl wasn’t with her
anymore.
“Calm down, Taeng. She’s with her mom.”
“Oh.”
Sunny pulled her up from the sofa and pushed her towards the direction of the bathroom.
“Now go take a shower so we could have breakfast and finally start on that photo shoot.”
“Yes, mom.”
-----
“You take really good pictures. I mean, look at these…”
Taeyeon watched Yuri as the latter fawn over the sample prints of today’s dry run photo shoot.
She watched the eager girl thumb over the prints with a smile. She had always found Yuri’s
personality to be rather amusing.
The shorter girl leaned back and lazily scanned over her camera to look for shots that she might
have forgotten to print out. Amidst her rigorous button-pressing, Taeyeon didn’t miss Yuri’s
small glances at her.
“Is there something on my face?” She said as she looked at Yuri inquisitively.
Taeyeon saw uneasiness in Yuri’s eyes and she can’t quite understand why the girl was acting
Back For Good

like that. It was rare for the tanned girl to be serious, and to be honest, Taeyeon haven’t seen her
be actually serious before. Serious Yuri is like a myth to her.
“What?”
“N-nothing.”
“Seriously, what?”
She looked at her curiously before going back to what she was doing, “Fine.”
“I… I know what happened.”
“Hmm?” Taeyeon looked up from her camera.
“To you and Tiffany. I know.”
It was inevitable, Taeyeon thought. Yuri is Tiffany’s friend after all. It’s not like it’s taboo for
someone else to mention it, but she still can’t seem to get used to people talking about it, not
when the issue had been evaded for the longest time.
She let out a sigh before safely placing her camera on the table.
-----
“If you could go back in time, in that specific hour, would you still do what you did? I mean,
would you still let her go?”
The sun had started to set and only then that Taeyeon realized that they’ve been in the café for
hours now. Not that she minded Yuri’s company, but she was surprised at how time can pass by
with just a blink of an eye.
Sunsets all look the same to me now, Taeyeon thought as she stared at the horizon. She kept her
eyes on the huge glowing ball until they stung.
“Yes,” she answered sincerely before looking directly at Yuri’s curious eyes.
Yuri looked at her intently, gauging if the tears she saw in Taeyeon’s eyes were because of the
rays or something else. She kept the thought to herself.
“What? You… really? Wouldn’t you regret it?” The tanned girl looked at her like she was from
out of this world.
Taeyeon sank in her chair and crossed her arms comfortably on her chest. She felt her heart
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thumping gently and in an instant, she was brought back to that day, when that recovering
muscle inside her was mercilessly torn into shreds.
But, amidst the massive heartache…
"If you've seen the smile on her face,” Taeyeon began, “Or how she glowed when she leapt into
his arms, you'd do the same.” She sighed before letting out a small smile. “That smile wasn't
there when she was beside me in front of the altar. How could I ever deprive her of that
happiness?"
“I know you, Yuri. I know how much you love Jessica. And if you were in my position, I know
you’d do the same for her.”
Yuri looked at her and for the first time in a long time, a person looked at her without pity but
with so much awe and respect.
-----
She had never thought talking would take so much of her energy until she had found herself
trudging along the hallways towards her hotel suite. Though deep inside, Taeyeon knew that it
wasn’t the talk, but the reason.
The petite girl, for the longest time, had evaded the topic and as much as her friends had wanted
to forcefully squeeze the depression out of her, they had been courteous enough to leave the
grieving girl alone.
But after the talk with Yuri, Taeyeon had suddenly found light after being in the dark for so long.
She didn’t want to admit it, to her friends and especially to herself, that she was too broken to
move on. She hid behind fake smiles and laughs, all the while making herself believe that she’s
fine.
But no, she was never fine.
Not when the person you’ve considered to be your everything suddenly walks out on you on
your wedding day.
With a sigh, Taeyeon entered the room quietly, not wanting to disturb the two other occupants.
Silence greeted her as she stepped foot in the shared living room and she can’t help but feel
relieved that she wouldn’t have to deal with Tiffany. She just can’t handle the awkwardness.
After a much deserved shower, she headed for the suite’s modest balcony.
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[Soundtrack#1]
Taeyeon closed her eyes and breathed in the salty air. She can hear the waves crashing on the
shore and the whistling wind subtly whispering to her. After what seemed to be an eternity, she
opened her eyes and looked towards the sky. The stars are out tonight, she thought.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Taeyeon answered back without looking.
“The sky’s pretty clear tonight.”
She heard footsteps getting nearer.
“Yeah, it is.”
She felt her insides tremble as Tiffany’s scent filled her senses. Taeyeon knew that the other girl
was close. Heck, even if she’s blind, she’d still know.
She doesn’t need to see.
Her heart will always know whenever Tiffany’s near.
“Can’t sleep?”
She saw Tiffany mirror her stance as the latter leaned her elbows on the railing just a few feet
beside her. Taeyeon breathed in the silence of the night as she closed her eyes.
If things didn’t go the way they did, Tiffany would be locked in her arms right now. She’d
whisper sweet nothings into her ear while they sway with the wind and she’d be able to gaze at
the reflection of the stars on Tiffany’s soft eyes without repercussions.
“Taeyeon…” Tiffany almost whispered.
“Yeah?” She opened her eyes and finally looked at the woman beside her.
“I… I’m sor—“
“I know,” she cut her. “I’m sorry too.”
Taeyeon smiled at the other girl’s questioning look. Tiffany had just woken up from a nap, her
face bare and the shirt she’s wearing was barely hanging on her slim shoulders.
And yet Taeyeon thought that she’s still the most beautiful girl in the world.
She saw Tiffany furrow her eyebrows.
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“I’m sorry for not being enough,” Taeyeon began as she focused her gaze at the dark horizon.
She gripped the railing tightly until her knuckles turned white and she thought, after four long
years, that her much needed closure is now just at her fingertips.
“I know I’ve told you that as long as you’re with me, there’s nothing else that you’ll need
more… That I’ll give everything and anything. I…” she continued. Taeyeon was baring her
healing heart once again and she had never felt so brave in her entire life.
“I’m sorry that I broke that promise.”
Heavy silence had once again engulfed them but Taeyeon felt liberated. She had said the words
she’d been wanting to say to her for the longest time but was sadly never given the opportunity
to do so.
Taeyeon heard a sniff. She immediately turned towards Tiffany.
-----
Tiffany felt tears trickling down her cheeks. She didn’t know when she had started crying but she
is, and the tears are now flowing uncontrollably. She saw Taeyeon look at her when she sniffed.
“W-why?”
“Wha—“
“Why are you a-apologizing when,” Tiffany sniffed, her shirt now drenched with her tears.
“When I’m the one who left you?!”
She didn’t mean to scream but she was frustrated. Taeyeon was frustrating her with her kindness
and her soft gaze and the warmth she’s emitting, and the only thing she wanted to do right now
was to drown in the latter’s arms and cry.
And so she did.
Tiffany knew that she had startled the other girl with her sudden attack but she couldn’t care less.
The latter was giving her so many emotions and the guilt that she had been carrying for so long
had finally broken free. She took a fistful of Taeyeon’s shirt while her cries began to intensify.
“I’m really sorry, T-Taeyeon. I… I’m s-sorry.”
She can feel her tears wetting the shirt she’s clutching on. And when she felt a pair of arms
encircling her waist gently, Tiffany finally lost it.
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She held on for dear life while Taeyeon began to rub soothing circles on her back, all the while
whispering soft words into her ears.
“Sssh. It’s okay. I’m okay,” Taeyeon whispered.
“No, it’s not! I left you!” Tiffany pounded on the other girl’s chest while sobbing.
She watched her take all the blows until she had lost all energy to move. She buried her head at
the crook of Taeyeon’s neck and continued to cry silently. “I left you on our wedding day… I…
I left you…”
Tiffany sank in the older girl’s arms more and she had never felt safer.
You always make me feel safe, she thought.
But she started to panic when she felt Taeyeon pull away from her slowly. Instinctively she
clutched the fabric in her hands tighter but the soft pair of lips that pressed against her forehead
made her relax.
And not to mention, utterly confused.
“It’s not your fault, Fany.” More tears fell when she heard the familiar name.
She heard Taeyeon sigh before bringing her lips back to her forehead.
“You found love, just like everybody else.” She caught the slight tremble in Taeyeon’s voice.
“It’s just unfortunate that you had to leave me for you to obtain it.”
Tiffany closed her eyes gently and let her tears fall freely as she felt Taeyeon’s mixing with her
own.
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 11
Tiffany opened her eyes only to be greeted by the sun’s rays, stinging them a bit. She was about
to turn to escape the sunlight when a sheet was draped over her head, effectively saving her from
the bothersome streak. She can’t help but smile when she felt a pair of arms snaking around her
waist, pulling her closer.
She turned towards the warm body and rewarded the owner with a soft peck on the lips.
“Thank you.”
Tiffany felt Taeyeon smile through the kiss. “Good morning,” she heard her whisper.
“Morning, Taetae.”
“Mommy!”
Tiffany caught her daughter as the little one leapt into her arms the moment she entered the
shared living room.
“Good morning, baby!” She said as she nuzzled her daughter’s neck, all the while showering the
latter with sniff kisses.
A chuckle pulled her out of their mother-daughter moment.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disrupt your, uhm… moment.”
“No, it’s fine. Uhm,” Awkwardness crept in between them and Tiffany almost grimaced. “Good
morning, Taeyeon.”
“Good morning,” she heard Taeyeon say as the latter smiled at her.
-----
“Uhm. Do you have to take pictures today?”
The three are now seated at the modest dining table and had resumed their breakfast. Taeyeon sat
still on her chair as she ate her food rather slowly, all the while stealing glances at the two in
front of her. She’ll never get tired of it, watching Tiffany interacting with Juhyun, the cute little
kid that had successfully won her heart at first sight.
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“No. It’s kinda my rest day today,” Taeyeon answered as she scooped up some rice before
putting it in her mouth.
“Yah Taetae! You are such a baby!”
“Hmm?”
Taeyeon looked at Tiffany who was laughing silently in her seat, her eyes turning into crescents
and her pearly whites all shiny. Their apartment was instantly filled with the sound of rapid
clapping and Taeyeon can’t help but chuckle along with her fiancée.
She swallowed her food first before talking.
“What’s so funny?”
Taeyeon frowned. Tiffany looked like she was never gonna recover from her laughing fit.
“Yah, Fany…” She brought her chopsticks down and pouted.
“I-I’m so-sorry… Let—let me just b-breathe…”
Just when Tiffany was about to talk, another set of giggles came out from her mouth and
Taeyeon found the love of her life in a laughing fit once again. She was about to voice out her
annoyance when she saw Tiffany pointing at her chin.
“Huh?” Taeyeon furrowed her eyebrows.
“Your c-chin… Rice…” Tiffany said, her finger still pointing at something on her face.
She touched her chin and felt a few grains stuck just below her lips.
“Seriously, Fany? You’re laughing because of this?” Taeyeon pluck the rice from her chin one
by one while giving her fiancée a glare. “Who’s the baby now? You are so shallow.”
She muttered to herself, a little annoyed by how Tiffany was acting. Taeyeon didn’t want to but
sometimes it just irks her whenever the other girl was making fun of her. Tiffany had always told
her that she’s too uptight but she didn’t want to believe it.
Taeyeon was too busy grumbling while poking the eggs on her plate that she didn’t notice
Tiffany’s loving gaze towards her.
“Taetae, you missed a spot.”
She reached for her chin again but felt nothing.
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“Here, let me get it.”
Before she can protest, Tiffany had already leaned and reached for her above the dining table.
“Right… here.”
A kiss landed softly on her lips.
Taeyeon smiled at the memory.
Everything Tiffany did never failed to make her feel disoriented, but in a good way. Taeyeon had
spent a great amount of time thinking of how it can be possible for someone to be so great.
Tiffany completed her and made up for all of her shortcomings. She knows she’s not perfect, but
Tiffany just brings out the best in her all the time.
That was before though, way before.
Taeyeon gripped her chopsticks tightly before placing them properly on her finished plate. Last
night’s events left her at a standstill. She wanted to beat herself up for not planning beyond the
confrontation because in reality, she never thought that it would actually happen.
After the heavily emotional talk, they’ve both decided to start over as friends. All wounds have
started to heal and both Taeyeon and Tiffany have deemed the plan to rebuild their friendship as
the best path. Besides, they were best friends turned to lovers.
“I was wondering if you, uhm, if you wanted to join me and Juhyun at the beach later…”
Taeyeon snapped back from her reverie and stared at Tiffany who seemed to have been hiding
her face behind her coffee mug. Her lips tugged upwards a little as she saw the latter’s cheeks
donning a slight pink hue.
Cute, Taeyeon thought.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to, I mean, you might be busy and all and Sunny might want to hang
out with you too or maybe Yuri and Jessica might call you on an impromptu photo shoot. You
know how those two can be random so—“
“Tiffany, hey.”
The younger girl immediately stopped talking before lowering her head. “Sorry, I was babbling.”
Taeyeon can’t help but chuckle.
“No, it’s fine. And yes, I’d love to join you two at the beach.”
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She saw Tiffany’s head lifting and she felt her world spin when the latter smiled that beautiful
smile of that she loves.
There’s nothing she doesn’t love when it comes to Tiffany.
Taeyeon clenched her fists under the table as she returned the gesture, albeit with a small one.
'She’s not yours anymore, Taeyeon.'
-----
“Mommy! Look, shell!”
Tiffany happily approached her daughter who was sitting at the sand trying to build a sand castle.
After that surprisingly comfortable breakfast, at least she thought it was, the three headed out to
the shore to spend the day basking under the warm sun.
She knew Taeyeon hated being under the scorching sun and so Tiffany was so thankful that the
clouds had decided to aid her in making her spontaneous outing a lot more bearable. The sun had
comfortably situated itself behind the fluffy masses but illuminated the sky bright enough to
spend a beautiful day outside.
One step towards full reconciliation, she thought.
“Be careful with the rocks, okay baby?” She kissed the top of Juhyun’s head as she left the little
girl to play quietly by herself.
Taking a few steps away, Tiffany sat on the sand beside Taeyeon who was busy taking pictures
of anything and everything. She stared at her, silently, and she was mesmerized by the way
Taeyeon held her camera professionally yet still with a hint of gentleness.
Click.
She watched as Taeyeon took the camera away from her face to look at her shots and that soft
smile that graces the latter’s lips every time she gets a good photo never fails to make her do the
same.
-----
“She’s really beautiful.”
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“She came from me after all,” a smug reply.
Taeyeon observed Juhyun through her camera lens and she didn’t realize that she had vocalized
the supposedly discreet compliment. She chuckled at the girl sitting beside her by the sand and
Tiffany’s ever present confidence amused her so much that she had to lean backwards a bit just
to accommodate her laughing.
“Right, right,” she teasingly retorted after recovering from her giggle fit.
Not that she disagrees though, because Tiffany was indeed the epitome of beauty, but she just
felt the need to tease the latter.
The little girl was indeed beautiful, angelic. She was perfect in Taeyeon’s eyes.
Just like Tiffany.
“What? You don’t think so?”
Taeyeon looked at the woman beside her who was now donning a pout. She kept her hands glued
to her camera, fearing that she might do something stupid like caress the latter’s cheeks or hold
her hand or even kiss her.
'Friendship, Taeyeon, you’re building your friendship. Only your friendship…'
“I do,” she breathed unsteadily. “I think you’re both beautiful.”
They had just mutually decided to try and build their friendship back, because either two would
admit that the bond they had shared even before they were lovers was unbreakable.
She let herself say those words to Tiffany, even though she felt like she had gone too far. She
was just stating the obvious, she thought.
'There’s nothing wrong in complimenting, right? Her daughter is indeed beautiful, and she
brought her into this world after all…'
The thought shook her.
Tiffany wasn’t the only one who had brought her into existence.
Taeyeon almost smacked herself when she had remembered an important detail that seemed to
have evaded her mind until now.
How can she have forgotten about Juhyun’s father?
Tiffany’s husband?
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Chapter 12
It turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable day to say the least, and it meant the world to Tiffany.
For the last four years she had been constantly living under the impression that Taeyeon hated
the whole of her being, and at some point, she was right. But hate doesn’t exist in the heart of
those who love truly and wholly, not for too long at least.
Tiffany took a fistful of sand and let it drop on to the ground like an hour glass. She felt being
neglected, she were, really, cause right now she’s staring at Taeyeon carrying Juhyun by the sea
side and she knew she shouldn’t have, but somehow she felt jealous.
She pouted like a little kid being deprived of its wants but at the same time, she can’t help but let
out a small smile at the interaction she’s seeing. Tiffany knew how Taeyeon loved kids and how
kids favour her but she never got the chance to actually witness it.
'If only you married her…'
Tiffany bitterly chuckled as she lay down on the mat. The sun was about to set and yet the two
are still enjoying themselves like they just got there. She closed her eyes for a bit, used her arm
to cover them and sighed as she listened to everything around her.
“Fany-ah, don’t fall asleep. The sun’s rising soon.”
She heard Taeyeon’s soft voice right in her ears and she unconsciously smiled. She liked it, no,
she loved it, whenever Taeyeon spoke softly to her, the usual richness of her voice toned down
just for her to hear. She loved how Taeyeon’s breath tickled her lobes as she utter each word,
words she keep in her heart no matter how insignificant and plain.
Tiffany felt Taeyeon’s nimble fingers as they stroke her hair, softly, like her voice and her gaze
and everything was enough for her. She snuggled further into Taeyeon’s lap and felt like the
world was fine, like it completed her.
“But I’m sleepy, Taetae,” she whined.
“It won’t be long, Fany, I promise. And then we can go back to sleep right after.”
Tiffany shifted and looked up to see Taeyeon smiling sweetly at her, the latter’s face laced with
obvious drowsiness. She looked at her, right in the eyes, and she saw nothing but love and
contentment. Tiffany unconsciously smiled back.
“Why do you look so happy?” Tiffany asked, rather whispered, as she reached out to hold
Taeyeon’s cheek gently.
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“I do?” She felt Taeyeon lean into her touch.
“You do. I can see it in your eyes.”
Taeyeon looked at her intensely and she fidgeted under her gaze. She saw her face come closer
and Tiffany closed her eyes slowly when she felt a pair of lips press on her forehead.
When she opened them, she saw the same pair looking at her, this time softer.
“Look into my eyes again and you’ll know why.”
Tiffany smiled, widely, because she saw nothing in Taeyeon’s eyes but her reflection.
Tiffany felt a presence beside her followed by a soft nudge.
“Hmm?”
She opened her eyes slowly, blinked them a couple of times before focusing on the blurry image
in front of her.
“Hi,” she heard Taeyeon whisper.
Tiffany saw Taeyeon and her daughter safely tucked in the latter’s arm. The shorter girl was
squatting beside her while Juhyun was peacefully napping on her shoulder. She smiled
unconsciously.
“I’m sorry, did I fell asleep?” Tiffany asked.
“Yeah, I think you did. I came back because the sun was about to set and I thought you’d want to
watch it but you’re sleeping and I don’t really have the heart to wake you up so… Yeah, we
missed the sunset.”
She saw Taeyeon’s mouth moving but she can’t seem to hear anything. It’s like her ears were
suddenly closed and all she can focus on is the latter’s face, her lips, her eyes.
Taeyeon’s eyes.
“Tiffany? Are you okay?”
She snapped from her reverie and saw Taeyeon furrow her eyebrows. Tiffany didn’t realize how
hard she was staring at the older girl until she saw Taeyeon fidget nervously under her gaze.
“Yeah I, uh, I’m fine.”
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Tiffany was about to stand when Taeyeon shifted Juhyun and offered her a free hand.
“Thanks,” Tiffany smiled, still holding Taeyeon’s hand.
“No problem.” Taeyeon looked at her, softly, like how she used to.
And Tiffany swore she saw herself in those eyes.
She was about to release the older girl’s hand until she felt something cold against her palm.
It was a ring.
'Taeyeon’s… married?'
-----
Taeyeon shifted Juhyun in her arms and held her properly as she walked side by side with
Tiffany. The sun had already set and the sky was splashed with hues of blue and purple, covering
the peaceful beach with cool colours. She smiled as she saw her surroundings coloured in her
favourite color but she frowned as she took a glance at Tiffany only to find her pouting and
rather annoyed.
“You okay there?” She can’t help but ask.
“Yeah.”
She was a little taken aback by the cold answer but she accepted it nonetheless. Tiffany can be a
real handful when she’s moody, and Taeyeon didn’t want to be in the middle of that.
“Okay.”
The atmosphere turned a little awkward and Taeyeon was thankful that she was holding the little
girl in her arms. At least Juhyun kept her mind a little preoccupied; even if it just meant thinking
of how to hold the girl properly without waking her up.
It was getting cold outside and as much as the two wanted to savour the cool breeze, they’ve
decided to retreat to their hotel suite and tuck the little girl in her for a proper sleep. They had
missed dinner but were thankful that they had managed to grab something before Juhyun could
doze off.
Reaching the front door of their suite, Taeyeon was about to reach for her key when Tiffany
stopped her.
“Let me get it.” A small smile.
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Awkward, Taeyeon thought, but she was relieved to see the smile, no matter how small.
“Thanks.”
They were about to go in when a familiar voice halted their steps.
“Hey Tiff, wanna go—Oh hi Taeyeon!”
-----
“Sssh!”
Tiffany saw Taeyeon shush Jessica and she wanted to laugh. She knows how protective the older
girl can get but she didn’t imagine that it will happen with her daughter. She gulped.
“Woops, sorry.”
She barely heard Jessica say.
Tiffany kept her eyes at Taeyeon as the latter started to rock on her feet a bit, swaying Juhyun
while a humming a soft tune just against the little girl’s ear. The sight made her throat burn and
she can feel her eyes sting.
“Anyway, Tiff, wanna go have dinner? I got hungry and I really don’t want to eat alone. And
Yuri’s already sleeping after she had managed to tire herself out at the gym.”
Everything Jessica said was falling on deaf ears but the normally unperceptive girl managed to
catch the look her best friend is giving her wedding photographer. The bride-to-be switched
glances from Tiffany then to Taeyeon then back.
It was painful for her to observe.
-----
“You should be thankful that I’ve dragged you out of there. If she saw you looking at her like
that… I don’t know because if it were me, I’d book a separate room right away.”
Tiffany chuckled with Jessica but she knew that her best friend was right. She was grateful that
the latter had managed to prevent her from looking like a total creeper idiot and she seriously
doesn’t want to be labelled like that right now. Not when there’s something she had to know.
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“Care to explain what’s happening?” She heard Jessica ask.
“What do you mean?” She drank from her wine glass and turned towards the farthest side of the
restaurant.
“Oh please, Tiff, you know that tactic won’t work on me. Just tell me why the three of you
looked like a happy family who had just went to an amazing outing? And not to mention that
look you gave her. I seriously won’t get over that anytime soon.”
Jessica’s bluntness is amusing, most of the time, but there are also instances, like now, that it
hurts because reality hurts and Tiffany was tired of getting hurt because of the truth.
Because the truth is she can never have her complete ‘family’.
Tiffany sighed and Jessica bit her tongue. She knew she had crossed the line.
“I’m sorry, Tiff, I was just—“
“I know, Jessi, I understand,” she said as she reached to pat her best friend’s hand.
“So, enlighten me?”
“Taeyeon and I talked, finally.” This time Tiffany smiled, genuinely.
“Interesting…”
She saw Jessica lean on her chair as she signalled for the waiter to bring another bottle of wine.
This is going to be a long night, Tiffany thought.
-----
Back For Good

Chapter 13
Taeyeon held the two rings and she had never felt more right in her life than that moment. The
two bands that would seal their promise to each other were now literally in the palm of her
hands and she can’t wait for Tiffany to see it.
To wear it.
“I found Love…”
“…and Love was You.”
She returned them to their respective boxes and ran out of the shop with her heart floating.
Taeyeon caught herself absentmindedly playing with the lone ring on her necklace, twisting the
cold metal in its chain, pulling and rolling until it tangles.
She heaved a sigh and brought the trapped ring in front of her and Taeyeon wondered how the
ring would look on Tiffany’s finger. She chuckled at the bitter realization. If she wanted to start
anew with her, then it’s best to let go of the past memories and feelings. But how can she, when
just having Tiffany standing a stone’s throw away from her already leaves her disoriented.
Taeyeon swung the ring back and forth against the sun and the short engraving inside reflected
against her eyes rebelliously, making her eyes flinch a bit, her heart ache a bit.
'Love wasn’t me after all, huh.'
She chuckled sadly before keeping the necklace inside her shirt. She then stared at the other one
on her finger and sighed.
'Though you’re not married to me, I’ll always be bound to you, Fany.'
Taeyeon stood up and dusted her pants. It had been four years since she had discovered the
secluded cliff overlooking the horizon and she was thankful that she had found such a peaceful
place. It helped greatly in healing her heart and to be honest, she hadn’t imagined that she’d be
back in her safe haven after all these years.
Taeyeon dragged her feet along the sand and she didn’t care when small rocks started to scratch
them. She was numb and her heart was dead and she felt that there’s nothing in the world that
can hurt her anymore. She had both of her arms hanging limply at her sides and though it was
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cold, Taeyeon still felt the burning hole in her chest.
She passed by a number of tourists, like her, but she didn’t possess the smiles that they have on
their faces. Three days have already gone by but the pain never went away. She thought that
maybe, even for a little bit, nature can help her heal, but when you’re standing at the very same
spot you were supposed to marry the one you love, the same spot where she left you, maybe even
the heavens wouldn’t be able to do anything to take the hurt away.
Taeyeon absentmindedly continued to traverse the length of the beach until her feet started to
feel less and less sand. The soles of her bare feet started to hurt and she chuckled dryly,
ironically, ‘cause she thought it wasn’t possible to feel pain anymore. She wore the flip flops
she’s been holding and had her breath stolen away when she saw where her feet had managed to
take her.
She took a step forward, gingerly, and traced the ragged formation of rocks with her eyes. It was
beautiful, how each boulder emerged from the sand, building an abstract fortress of rocks.
Taeyeon found a narrow path and followed it until she reached the top of the cliff.
She took one last shot of the azure coloured horizon before making her way down the rocks.
-----
“Hey, S-Sunny. Uhm,” Tiffany stuttered and she didn’t know why. “Have you seen Taeyeon?”
“Uh, no. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I haven’t really seen her today.”
Tiffany stepped inside Sunny’s hotel room after the latter had moved aside for her. Her mind had
kept her awake all night after their beach outing and Tiffany just can’t keep her curiosity to
herself. The shorter girl gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa before offering her some
beverages.
“Just water, thanks.”
She drank from the bottle and she can feel Sunny’s stare boring in her skull.
“I have a feeling you’re not really looking for Taeyeon. What do you need, Fany?”
Tiffany smiled.
She almost forgot how perceptive Sunny is, a world apart from her best friend Jessica, and she
found it refreshing and quite relieving. There was no point in hiding, because if she wanted to
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actually rebuild something with Taeyeon then the four years she had wasted was enough.
“Can I ask you something? And can you answer it honestly?” She started.
Sunny raised her eyebrow at Tiffany. She didn’t want to admit it but she was quite curious about
the inquiry.
“O-kay. As long as I know the answer then why not? Shoot.”
Tiffany took a deep breath.
“Is Taeyeon married?”
Sunny choked on her spit.
“W-What?!”
Tiffany evaded Sunny’s “what’s wrong with you” stare and somehow she felt stupid for asking
the question. It was an honest one, she thought, but why Sunny’s staring at her like she’s from
another world was beyond her.
'Why? Can’t Taeyeon be married?'
“Where did that came from?!”
Sunny was still coughing a bit when Tiffany stood up from her seat to rub her friend’s back. She
did cause the choking, partly.
“I… I’m just curious,” Tiffany whispered.
She saw Sunny raise her eyebrow after recovering from the coughing fit.
“A-And… I saw her—I saw her r-ring,” she stuttered as she tried to avoid Sunny’s gaze.
“Fany…”
Tiffany met Sunny’s eyes and she felt her heart race at what she saw.
-----
Taeyeon felt like the only thing she had been doing so far was go out, take pictures and go back
to the hotel tired, hungry, confused and melancholic.
It wasn’t supposed to be a vacation for her, that she knows for sure, but she had deemed this
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project as the most exhausting one yet. And she does admit that it was partly because of the
presence of someone she thought she had lost in her past a long time ago.
Taeyeon heard Juhyun’s giggling as soon as she opened the door and it made her smile almost
instantly. The little girl had completely taken over her heart, like how her mom did the first time
they met and somehow she thought, sadly, if every person that had managed to make an
impression in her life would leave her.
“Tae… Tae-Taeyeon! Help!”
The photographer smiled warmly at the little kid who was laughing while trying to reach out for
her from the sofa, her small body being held by Yuri as Jessica lightly tickled her sides. She
chuckled at the cute sight.
It warmed her heart.
“Hey, Taeng!”
“Hi, Taeyeon!”
“Hi, Yuri, Jessica.”
She rounded the sofa and kneeled beside it, facing Juhyun who was still giggling breathlessly on
the cushion. The two had stopped torturing the poor kid and the three adults just stared at her
with grins on their faces.
“Where have you been, Taeng?” She heard Yuri asked as the latter wrapped her arm around
Jessica's shoulder.
“Breathed some fresh air, took a couple of shots, got sand stuck on my toes. You know, the
usual,” she smiled at the glowing couple. She was genuinely happy for them.
Taeyeon felt a tug on her hand and looked at Juhyun who had her arms reached out to her.
“She’s all yours, Taeng. Time for me to take my fiancée out to dinner.”
“Wha—Wait! Where’s Tiffany?” The shorter girl scooped Juhyun from the sofa and followed
the two towards the door.
“She went out. She called us earlier and asked us if we can babysit Juhyun for a while. Bye,
Taeyeon!”
And with that, both Jessica and Yuri disappeared, leaving her to take care of the kid that was
latched to her torso while playing with her necklace that had managed to escape the confines of
her shirt.
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“Ring! Shiny!”
Taeyeon looked down at the girl and smiled. “Yes, it is. You are very smart.”
They made their way back to the living room and Taeyeon decided to open the television while
they wait for Tiffany. She scanned the box for cartoons and stopped changing channels when she
found one.
“Have you eaten?” She asked the girl on her lap.
“Uhuh.”
“Okay.”
Half an hour into the show and Taeyeon still didn’t know what it was about. She observed
Juhyun and saw the girl’s serious expression while watching the cartoon and she couldn’t help
but chuckle. She got her attention back on the television when it showed a lion cub talking to its
father.
'S-Should I?...'
Her burning curiosity won over.
“Juhyun?”
“Hmm?” The kid stared at her with questioning eyes.
“Where’s your daddy?”
Taeyeon saw Juhyun tilt her head downwards. The little girl shook her head lightly and for some
unknown reason, Taeyeon felt guilty for asking.
“You don’t know where he is?” She asked softly.
Another shake.
“May I ask what his name is?”
A shrug.
“Are you okay, baby?” She asked as she furrowed her eyebrows.
It was like the life was sucked out of the usually hyper kid and Taeyeon was getting concerned.
“No,” Juhyun whispered.
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“No? What’s wrong?”
Taeyeon lifted the kid off her lap and drew the latter near her body, cradling her in her arms.
Juhyun automatically held on to her while the girl snuggled on her neck.
“No daddy, only mommy.”
The little girl whispered but it was clear on Taeyeon’s ears.
-----
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Chapter 14
Taeyeon lay awake in her bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, her mind elsewhere. Juhyun’s words
kept on ringing in her head, bouncing off the walls of her mind, keeping her from any decent
sleep. She felt stupid, frustrated and cheated.
Not that she had expected Tiffany to tell her about her life for the last four years but she would
appreciate the information, or even a little heads up.
She turned on her side and stared outside the window, thankful that she had decided to open the
curtains before she got into bed. Taeyeon stared at the now lightening skies and sighed.
Another sleepless night.
-----
“Good morning.”
Tiffany placed her mug back on the table and greeted the dishevelled girl. She frowned as she
saw the girl bumping into the small kitchen counter when she was reaching for coffee.
“Are you okay?”
“H-Huh?”
She furrowed her eyebrows at the incoherent girl.
“Oh. Yeah, I’m fine, I think. Just… didn’t get enough sleep.”
Tiffany noticed how Taeyeon evaded her gaze and it puzzled her. She tried thinking back to see
if she had done something to anger the other girl.
She came up with nothing.
“Oh,” she hid her disappointment, “Okay.”
Tiffany tried to busy herself with her breakfast but she found herself unable to concentrate. Not
when Taeyeon was seated in front of her with her coffee, looking all sexy in her bed hair.
Not when she can see the latter’s wedding ring shining oh so brightly like it was mocking her.
The talk with Sunny didn’t do anything much to clear her confusion. She hated it when people
put her around in circles, but she can’t really blame her. She had hurt her best friend and she
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would have probably done the same thing if it were her.
So the only thing to do, for her, was to ask Taeyeon directly.
“Hey, Tiffany…”
She snapped from her daze and looked at the girl sitting quietly in front of her.
“Yes?”
“Uh, d-do you have anything to do l-later?” Taeyeon stuttered.
“No, I don’t think so. Why? Are you sure you’re okay? Why are you stuttering?” She tried to
reach for the other girl’s forehead to check for her temperature but the latter looked away even
before she can reach it. Tiffany realized what she almost did and retracted her hand immediately.
But it didn’t hide the fact that she was hurt.
“I… I’m sorry,” Tiffany whispered as she looked back at her plate like it was the most
interesting thing in the world.
“I-It’s fine, I was just surprised. Uhm, anyway, can we meet later? I have another photo shoot
with Yuri for the rest of the day but I’ll be free in the afternoon or probably in the evening.”
“Okay,” she nodded weakly, still embarrassed at what she had almost done, “Juhyun and I will
just wait for you at the—“
“No!”
Tiffany was startled at the sudden outburst that she almost dropped her utensils. She looked at
Taeyeon with an unreadable expression and she felt the other girl fidget in her seat.
“I-I… I’m sorry, I, I didn’t mean to shout. I-I’m really sorry…”
“Taeyeon, you’re scaring me.”
“I was just wondering if we can have dinner? I-I mean, just the two of us? Without Juhyun?”
Tiffany stared at Taeyeon like she was an adolescent boy asking his crush for a date. She didn’t
know what to feel; she was suddenly engulfed in so many emotions all at once and she can’t
think straight.
“You… You want to have dinner with me? Later? Just us?” Tiffany said slowly, letting the
words flow out from her mouth while her brain tried to understand, “Kim Taeyeon…” she now
looked at Taeyeon with a playful glint in her eyes.
“Y-yes?” She heard Taeyeon whisper from behind her coffee mug as the latter took a small sip.
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“Are you asking me out on a date?” Tiffany dropped the bomb.
Cough.
“Oh my God, Taeyeon! Are you okay?”
The taller girl stood up abruptly as she immediately went beside Taeyeon to pat her back. The
shorter girl just choked on her coffee.
“I’m sorry, I was just kidding…” She apologized as she continued to soothe the older girl’s back.
“Cough… I-It’s fine—cough—Don’t worry about it,” Taeyeon said as she wiped her mouth,
“Uhm… So?”
Taeyeon looked at her like she was boring holes in her soul and it shook her. She couldn’t make
out the reason behind the invitation but she was not one to pass an opportunity. Besides, she
needed to ask the other girl about the wretched ring.
“Sure,” Tiffany smiled, her eyes turning into crescents, “Just tell me where we’ll meet and what
time.”
Taeyeon smiled and nodded.
-----
Taeyeon felt her palms sweat and her whole body fidget as she waited for Tiffany at the outdoor
restaurant overlooking the sea.
The sun had finally set and the night was at its full bloom when she had finished her photo shoot.
Though the pictures came out beautiful, Taeyeon couldn’t hide the fact that she was anxious the
whole time, earning some weird glances from Yuri who had paid no heed no matter how many
times the photographer had almost dropped her camera or almost tripped on rocks while blindly
taking shots. It was rather a funny sight.
'Breathe, Taeyeon.'
She was now standing outside the restaurant fences, waiting for Tiffany who had excused herself
to the washroom. Surprisingly, the meal had gone smoothly and they had managed to converse
naturally. There were no awkward moments, just like two old friends catching up.
Taeyeon leaned back on the fence and stared up at the night sky. She crossed her arms across her
chest and clenched her fists; they wouldn’t stop shaking. She tried counting the visible stars, the
impossibility keeping her mind preoccupied.
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“Taeyeon?”
The shorter girl jumped a bit and her nervousness had grown into a new high. Now that Tiffany’s
back in her personal space, looking all beautiful and perfect under the moonlight, Taeyeon’s
mind went haywire and she felt like running away.
“Are you okay?”
“H-Huh? Oh! Yeah, I’m fine. I was just…” Taeyeon swallowed as the thought of fleeing
disappeared from her head, “Yeah. Uh, you ready?”
Besides, the agenda for the night hasn’t been fulfilled yet.
“Yeah,” she heard Tiffany say.
-----
Taeyeon was acting really weird and Tiffany had noticed everything. Starting from the fidgeting,
to the lip biting and to the trembling hands, nothing went by unnoticed. She was worried,
genuinely, because the last time she had seen the other like this was when Taeyeon asked her to
marry her.
Tiffany gulped.
'She wouldn’t, would she? Why would she even…'
“Hey, Tiffany.”
“What?”
“Are you okay? I was calling for you for the last ten seconds,” she heard Taeyeon chuckle, “I
was just gonna ask if you’re cold?” She saw the smaller girl point to her torso.
Tiffany then noticed she had her arms crossed, her hands unconsciously rubbing her bare arms to
give herself some warmth.
“I—“
“Here.”
She looked at her then to the jacket that was being offered.
“Take it. You need it more than I do.” A smile.
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“Thanks.”
Tiffany gingerly took the jacket and draped it over her shoulders, instantly feeling the warmth
from the clothing. She caught a faint whiff of Taeyeon’s perfume and it made her smile.
'You’re still using that, huh…'
The two walked quietly along the shore, and somehow it gave Tiffany a sense of peace. Up until
now, she couldn’t understand how she was able to walk beside the older girl in a diplomatic
manner. For one, if Tiffany was the one who was left at the altar, she would seek for revenge and
have her fiancée murdered.
Silently she thanked the heavens that Taeyeon wasn’t like her. She chuckled.
“What?” She heard Taeyeon ask and the chuckle didn’t die from her mouth.
“Why are you laughing?”
Tiffany looked at Taeyeon and found the latter grinning. It made her giggles turn into full
laughter.
“Hey, are you laughing at me?”
“Don’t you think it’s funny?” Tiffany wiped the tears at the corner of her eyes as she tried to
recover from her laughing fit.
“What is?”
“This. Us,” suddenly she turned melancholic, “I mean, shouldn’t you be running away from
me?” Tiffany smiled sadly as she looked at Taeyeon.
They were still walking, their bare feet meeting the cold sand, the sounds of the waves gently
rushing into the shore accompanying them into the night.
Tiffany heard a sigh.
“I hated you, you know,” she heard the whisper, “Well, at least I tried to…”
The younger girl turned to the older one in shock.
“Believe me, God knows how I tried to hate you. But I… I just can’t.” Taeyeon smiled at her,
sadly, and it made her stomach churn.
“It was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives but… Yeah. I don’t think I can blame you
though. I told you, it wasn’t your fault. And…” Taeyeon cleared her throat, “I hate myself for
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not being enough for you and again, I apologize for that—“
Tiffany didn’t let the other girl finish. She crossed the few steps that were separating them and
hugged Taeyeon tightly, like what she did that other night. She wrapped her arms around her,
firmly, and wished that the gesture was enough to soothe the other girl from all the pain and
sadness she had caused her.
She missed this, she missed everything about them. Like how the way Taeyeon would hold her,
one arm around her waist and the other slanted upwards across her back with the latter’s hand
gently cradling her head.
It was never the same. Each time had been different from the previous. Because every time
Taeyeon held her, she felt more and more safe, she felt more and more loved.
“Can you please stop apologizing?” Tiffany’s voice shook as she held onto Taeyeon tighter.
“You’re making me feel worse,” she chuckled sadly, tears starting to form at the corner of her
eyes.
“Okay.”
She buried her face at the crook of Taeyeon’s neck and felt the latter hold her closer. They stood
there under the still night sky, holding onto each other with the sound of the waves hitting the
shore as their background.
“You smell nice,” she blurted out.
Tiffany felt her cheeks heat up at the sudden outburst and felt relieved with she heard Taeyeon
chuckle.
“I always do,” the other girl teased.
Tiffany laughed before she playfully pushed the other girl away, “Yeah, right.”
Taeyeon chuckled as she took a step back with her hands raised in mock defeat.
The two now faced the dark horizon and breathed in the salty air.
“Hey,” she heard Taeyeon spoke. “Want to see something cool?”
“Uhm,” Tiffany pondered, “Sure?”
Taeyeon grinned at her widely and it made her smile.
'You’re such a kid.'
“Come on.”
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Tiffany took the outstretched hand and let Taeyeon drag her to wherever.
-----
“Wow…”
Taeyeon leaned back on her hands and watched the clouds illuminated by the moon as they lazily
drift across the sky. Almost all the stars are out now, making the night sky look like a diamond
encrusted blanket. It made her smile.
Being on the cliff made everything brighter in her eyes, but none of them were as bright as the
woman beside her.
“How did you find this place?” She felt Tiffany sat beside her.
Taeyeon smiled sadly as she recalled the memory. “I was… looking for a place where I can
think.”
“Oh,” she heard hesitation in her voice, “Okay. Is this where you did the photo shoot with Yuri?”
“No,” Taeyeon pondered if she should tell more, “Uhm, you’re the only person I’ve ever brought
here.”
She didn’t look at her but she knew Tiffany was smiling.
'Dwelling in the past won’t do any good. She had moved on. So should you…'
“So, tell me what’s up with you?” Taeyeon smiled as she finally looked at her. She needed to
direct the conversation away. She still needs to know something. “And don’t tell me there’s
nothing much cause four years is a long time.”
It still hurt but she tried to chuckle, albeit weakly.
“But there’s really nothing much, Taeyeon. I moved to the US w-with...” Taeyeon shifted so she
could hear her diminishing voice, “And that’s where I met Jessi! It was a funny story actually—“
“Fany…”
She heard the younger girl stopped and she sighed. Tiffany was hiding something from her.
“Can you be honest with me?”
Tiffany nodded.
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“What happened to Juhyun’s dad?”
Taeyeon was met with silence. She knew she had crossed something but she needed to know.
Seeing Juhyun confused and sad about her parents devastated her so much that she didn’t care
anymore if she had to squeeze Tiffany for the truth.
Another sigh escaped her lips. It was rather late and Taeyeon deemed the silence as a sign to
back off.
“It’s getting late, I think we should—“
She was about to stand up when Tiffany’s calm voice pierced through the cold breeze.
“He left.”
“W-What?” The older girl turned towards her with shock.
“When he… when he discovered that I was pregnant with Juhyun, he just left.” The soft glimmer
on Tiffany’s eyes was no longer there and Taeyeon felt a little scared. She had never seen so
much hatred on the latter’s face before.
Four years had indeed changed a lot.
-----
“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
After pouring out everything that had been burdening her chest and her conscience, Tiffany had
never felt lighter.
“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”
“So… you’re not married?” She heard Taeyeon sheepishly ask.
Tiffany chuckled. “Well do you see a ring?” She raised her hand and showed it to the older girl,
earning her a smile.
She suddenly remembered something.
“Speaking of being married…” she stared at the fidgeting hands on her lap, “W-Where’s your
wife?”
Tiffany heard a snap and swore that it was Taeyeon’s neck. She looked at the girl beside her only
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to find the latter staring at her like she’s from another universe.
“What wife?”
Tiffany stared at her disbelievingly, her brows furrowed and her lips into a small pout.
“What do you mean ‘what wife’? Your wife, where is she?” She asked again.
“I don’t have a wife,” Taeyeon answered her blankly.
“Fine, husband.”
“Husband? Are you serious?!”
Tiffany rolled her eyes at the older girl’s reaction.
“This is getting ridiculous.” Taeyeon returned her focus at the dark horizon before shaking her
head.
“What’s getting ridiculous?” Tiffany slapped her arm lightly, “You’re the one who’s ridiculous!”
“What?! Why me?!”
And just like that, the two unknowingly came to a playful yelling battle, their voices rising in
intensity at every retort.
“I’m just asking for your spouse! Why are you so defensive?!” Tiffany continued to yell at the
older girl, a wide playful smile plastered on her face.
“Ugh, your voice, Tiffany! And why are you yelling?!” Taeyeon tried to shield herself from her
light slaps, the older girl’s chuckles not failing to come out while reasoning.
“You yelled first!” Tiffany continued to beat the other girl’s arm.
“Tiffany! S-Stop! Aw—stop it! I,” she felt her wrist being held on to, “I’m not married!”
“What do you mean you’re not married?! You have a ring!”
Tiffany tried to hit the other incessantly with her free hand until Taeyeon had it trapped in hers.
“Fany!”
She kept on struggling to free her hands until she heard Taeyeon call her name. She looked up
and gulped at their close proximity.
Taeyeon stared at her like she’s the only thing that exists in the world. Her brown eyes dug into
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the depths of her soul and Tiffany felt herself fidget under the intense gaze. She was about to say
something when the older girl tilted her head downwards, releasing both of her wrists at the same
time.
“Tae—“
Taeyeon snorted.
Once.
Twice.
Suddenly, the whole cliff was filled with her loud unladylike laugh.
“Wha—What?”
Tiffany watched Taeyeon as the latter rolled on the grass as bouts of laughter continued to rack
her small frame. Saying that she was confused was such an understatement.
“Hey,” she patted the older girl’s back, “Calm down. Hey, Taeyeon…” She was getting worried.
And really creeped out.
After what seemed like hours, Taeyeon had finally calmed down. She stayed on the ground, her
arms now folded at the back of her head. Tiffany saw her smile, cheeks flushed from laughing,
eyes soft and focused, and she thought Taeyeon was still the most beautiful girl she had ever
seen.
It seems like you never aged too, Tiffany thought.
“Right… I almost forgot, you never really saw them,” she heard Taeyeon whisper to herself. She
caught it, but didn’t quite understand it.
She saw Taeyeon stretch her hand across the sky, letting the ring catch the small glimmer that the
moon was emitting.
-----
Taeyeon stared at the small metal band that was resting on her ring finger and smiled sadly. It
was a little brighter on the cliff compared to the shore, and it made her see the scratches that
accumulated over the years from wearing them as a necklace.
It was fine though, she thought, rather than seeing them untouched and in perfect condition
inside their cases, forever mocking her of a marriage that might have been. At least the battered
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rings she had now had been with her every waking hour, every fail and success, every tear and
laugh.
She slid the ring off her finger gently and weighed it on her palm before sitting up. She found
Tiffany looking at her questioningly and it made her smile.
“Here,” Taeyeon said wistfully, “I think you deserve to see it. It’s half yours anyway.” She
opened Tiffany’s hand and placed the ring on her palm.
She watched with sad eyes as Tiffany gingerly held the ring in between her fingers, scrutinizing
every nook and cranny. She saw her inspect the engraving on the inside.
“Is this…” Tiffany whispered before turning towards her with a questioning look.
“Yep.”
“It’s beautiful…” Tiffany trailed off as she twisted the ring in her fingers.
“Thanks, I had them custom-made after all.” She smiled.
“But where is the other—“
“Here.”
Taeyeon pulled her necklace from inside her shirt and showed her the other one. Tiffany leaned
forward and her breath hitched as the other girl’s face was now only a few inches away from
hers. She can smell the latter’s hair, count the latter’s eye lashes, and see the softness of her lips.
It made her dizzy.
After a few seconds, Tiffany finally released the necklace, making Taeyeon let out the breath she
didn’t know she was holding. She received the other ring not long after and slipped it back on
her finger.
They went back to being silent, just sitting beside each other not making any sound. The older
girl didn’t know what was going on in Tiffany’s head and she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to
know. She felt tired from all the talk and revelations she had discovered tonight and there’s
nothing more she wanted at that moment than a nice hot shower and a goodnight’s sleep on her
comfortable bed.
Taeyeon stood up and dusted her pants before reaching her hand towards the quiet girl. It was
late and the breeze was getting colder, and she wouldn’t them to catch a cold, especially Tiffany.
“Hey, Taeyeon…?”
“Hmm?” She stopped walking and turned towards Tiffany.
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They were now carefully making their way down the cliff with Taeyeon’s external camera flash
lighting their way.
“Why… Why are you wearing it?”
-----
Tiffany bit her lip and waited for an answer, anything, just, not silence. The thought had been
nagging at her ever since she had discovered the truth about Taeyeon’s wedding ring and she
wanted to know why the older girl had deliberately chose to imprison herself to her when she,
herself, had destroyed what they had built recklessly, mindlessly.
She didn’t deserve to have Taeyeon, she knew that now, yet it hurt so much because she hoped,
somehow, that maybe the older girl thinks otherwise.
“I don’t want to be married to anyone else,” Taeyeon started, “I tried to date, but…”
Tiffany willed herself to remain quiet, focused all her senses to Taeyeon, and seized all
unnecessary thoughts.
“I swear I tried to move on but… they’re just not you.”
She gasped silently.
“Call me stupid, call me pathetic, but you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend the rest of
my life with. The only one I want, the only one I’ll ever want.”
Tiffany felt a tear roll down her cheek as Taeyeon’s sincere smile engraved itself in her mind.
-----
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Chapter 15
Taeyeon was starting to get used to the sleepless nights.
It had gotten more frequent and frequent but surprisingly, tonight, unlike most nights, she didn’t
really mind. Not when she could still feel the warmth that Tiffany’s lips left on her cheek.
She brought her hand up to her face and touched her cheek and chuckled. Taeyeon felt like a kid
who had just gotten a new toy, or a teenager who just asked her crush for a date and agreed. To
say that she was giddy was an understatement. She was overjoyed, she was hyper and it felt
really exhilarating.
Taeyeon rolled on her bed and settled on her tummy. She clutched the pillow she was nuzzling
and almost squealed.
It was getting really ridiculous, even for her.
A knock on her door made her conscious of her love-drunk idiocy. It sounded light, shy, and she
had to ask herself if she actually heard right. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and
furrowed her eyebrows.
Two in the morning, it read.
She got up nonetheless, ignoring the cold floor as she planted her feet firmly, because there’s no
one in that room who would knock at her door at that time other than Tiffany.
The thought made her swallow. She was nervous all of a sudden.
Taking a deep breath, Taeyeon stood, albeit a little shaky, and made her way towards the door.
The knob was cold to her touch, the same with the floor to her feet, and the sudden chill she felt
in her bones made everything worse. For a second, she pondered if she should open the door.
Would it even make a difference? What good will it do to her if she did?
Questions filled her mind as she turned the knob gently before opening the door, barely missing
a retreating Tiffany.
-----
It was a bad idea.
But the temptation was too great to ignore and so Tiffany found herself knocking on Taeyeon’s
door at two in the morning, not even sure, rather without thinking, if the other girl was even
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awake.
Hours before, she lay awake beside her snoozing daughter, touching her lips that were left
tingling after she kissed Taeyeon lightly on her cheeks. A certain thought continued to hammer
its way in her mind and it’s making her head hurt.
She was confused, to say the least, but more over, she had to know. The curiosity never seems to
run out and it’s getting pretty tiring.
“I had a great time,” Tiffany voiced out as Taeyeon walked her towards the front of her room.
It was kind of silly, ‘cause they were staying at the same hotel room, but Tiffany appreciated the
gesture nonetheless. Actually, she loved it. And for once she was thankful that they had separate
bedrooms.
“That’s good to know.” Taeyeon smiled at her and it was contagious.
Tiffany knew she was beaming, and though there was a little awkward silence surrounding them,
her heart felt light. She wasn’t soaring, it was nothing like that, but it was enough to make her
feel elated, free.
She opened the door gently and peeked at her sleeping daughter. The little girl was huddled
comfortably between two pillows, safe from falling off the edges of the bed. She chuckled silently
and thought of her two friends. Somehow she thought that the couple was already prepared to
have an addition to their small family.
‘They’re not even married yet, but…’
Tiffany sighed.
Just when she thought everything was starting to get better, the mere thought of marriage and
family keeps her reeling back. It was like being stuck in a quicksand. She moves and she gets
pulled in more, gets trapped more. It was a never ending struggle.
“Hey, are you okay?”
She felt a hand on her arm and the warmth immediately travelled from that spot towards the rest
of her body, to her heart. It was only then that she thought, that the only way she could escape
the emotional black hole she was in was to be pulled out.
“I’m fine,” Tiffany said. She was, for now at least, and she wished that it would continue.
“Are you sure?”
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She can hear the concern in Taeyeon’s voice and it made her smile. She nodded as she turned
towards her and somehow it did something to relieve Taeyeon’s worry for the latter broke out in
a grin.
Tiffany opened the door wider for Taeyeon to see the slumbering girl. They stood there for a
while, wordlessly, and observed the little one shifting positions.
She heard Taeyeon sigh.
“It’s getting late, Tiffany. You should go inside,” she looked at her and Tiffany saw her smiling
gently.
They were both tired, from the walk and from the talk. It was evident on Taeyeon’s face that the
drowsiness was catching up at her and as much as Tiffany wanted them to continue talking or
just idly spend comfortable silence with each other, she had to let the older girl go.
Tiffany looked at her and saw Taeyeon shifted uncomfortably. There was an uncertain glint on
the latter’s eyes and she couldn’t seem to decipher it. She swear she can almost hear the other
girl’s racing heart and it made her warm inside to know that she still has that effect on her.
“You look a little pale,” Tiffany chuckled as she reached for Taeyeon’s cheek.
She froze under her touch and Tiffany chuckled more audibly.
“Taeyeon, relax. You make it seem like I’m gonna eat you or something.”
The other girl laughed at that and she felt her relax under her touch.
A thought came to Tiffany’s mind and she decided to just go with it. It was crazy and it was
stupid, even dangerous to some extent, but she’s done thinking and contemplating. A lot of time
had been wasted because of it and she didn’t intend to waste more. She’ll deal with the
consequences later.
She took a deep breath and lean towards Taeyeon. She saw the latter tense once again but it was
too late for her to back out. Tiffany directed her lips towards the other cheek that she wasn’t
cupping and softly laid a gentle kiss on the blushing part. Taeyeon’s scent overwhelmed her and
she willed herself not to cry as this huge sense of familiarity hit her.
Yes, they’ve hugged more than a couple of times recently but feeling Taeyeon’s soft skin against
her lips felt so much different, so much better. Tiffany missed it.
“Goodnight, Taeyeon. Thanks for dinner,” she whispered near the latter’s ears.
She took a step back, slowly, and smiled as she saw the older girl’s dazed expression.
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Tiffany forgot how it felt like to be on a date. Not that it was one, she wasn’t sure about that, but
everything just felt like it. Her heart swelled at the thought yet she still remained somber. It
seemed like Taeyeon changed so much while they were apart.
She would have loved to be a part of those lost years, to be able to see those changes up front.
Maybe… Just maybe.
A few more unanswered knocks and Tiffany just decided to retreat back to her room.
She turned on her heels and started to walk away dejectedly when she heard a faint click and the
sound of a door opening. Tiffany stopped walking and turned around.
“Tiffany? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”
Taeyeon chuckled and shook her head. “No. Do you need anything?”
“Did I disturb you?” She bit her lip and felt guiltier though there wasn’t really a reason to.
“Can you please stop answering my question with another question?” The other chuckled again.
“Aren’t you doing the same?” Tiffany smiled at the laugh.
“There you go again.”
“Sorry.”
She saw Taeyeon step out from her room before closing the door gently. Suddenly, Tiffany
became aware of her predicament and to be honest, she wasn’t sure if she could do what she had
planned to.
Clearly, she didn’t think this through.
“So? What can I do for you at two in the morning?”
Tiffany fidgeted as she played with the hem of her loose shirt. Somehow she hoped Taeyeon
would see how unnaturally nervous she was and just lead the conversation.
She can feel her gaze at her even with her head hanging low. Tiffany refused to meet the older
girl’s eyes.
“Can’t sleep?” Taeyeon said amusingly.
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She nodded weakly. She felt stupid.
Very, very stupid.
“Okay,” Taeyeon sighed and she looked at her, finally, “come on, I’ll make coffee.”
Suddenly she felt Taeyeon’s cold hand grip her shaking ones and found herself being pulled to
the small kitchen.
Tiffany smiled at the cold touch. She’s not the only one who was nervous.
-----
Taeyeon was still feeling cold and she prayed to the heavens that Tiffany wouldn’t notice how
her hand was shaking lightly.
She hated that she was acting like an inexperienced teenager. Yes, she might have been idle for
four years but what’s happening right now was just ridiculous.
Her back was turned away from the other girl and she never thought making coffee could be this
hard. Taeyeon poured the boiling water on the two mugs slowly, trying not to spill anything on
the counter or onto herself.
She watched as the steam rose from the mugs gracefully, all the while smiling to herself. The
cold she once felt was now replaced by a fluttering of butterflies in her belly and she had to hold
back a chuckle.
There she was, standing in a small kitchen making coffee for the only girl she had loved all her
life, the same girl who broke her heart beyond recognition, and now the only person she’d still
want to spend the rest of her life with.
What a predicament she was in.
Taeyeon held the mugs carefully and walked past the confused girl who was sitting on the small
kitchen counter, looking at her with her head tilted to the side, questioning.
“Let’s have these outside,” she beckoned at her.
“Okay.”
She saw Tiffany walk ahead of her before opening the sliding doors that lead to the veranda.
They were met by the cold breeze, even colder than the wind that embraced them while they
were at the cliff earlier that night. Instantly, Taeyeon felt all the hair on her arms stand up.
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“Here,” Taeyeon gave the other mug to Tiffany before leaning on the railings, her eyes directed
to nothing in particular.
It was rather dark, not much of the stars were present and the moon hid shyly behind a canopy of
clouds. She cradled the mug in between her hands and felt its warmth on her palm down to her
fingertips. The steam continued to swirl upwards before they vanish with the subtle blowing
wind and Taeyeon thought, how it felt to be as free as the air, to be weightless, to not think of
anything.
She took a small sip and let the warm liquid slide down her throat. She sighed as she felt the
warmth settle in her stomach.
“Is there something bothering you?” Taeyeon finally decided to break the silence.
“I-I,” she heard Tiffany stutter, “I just couldn’t sleep.”
“Me too,” Taeyeon admitted. ‘I was thinking about the kiss you gave me,’ she wanted to add.
Silence engulfed them once again and Taeyeon realized that she had almost emptied her cup. She
sighed and placed the cup at the floor beside her.
It has gotten awkward again.
‘You invited her out here yet you’re not even doing anyth—‘
“Taeyeon…”
The voice broke her line of thought.
“Uh, yeah?”
She looked at Tiffany and saw the latter place the mug at a small circular table near her. Taeyeon
kept her eyes at her until the other girl had gone back to her original position by the railings.
“Did you mean what you said? At the cliff?” She heard the hushed voice.
“Which one?” Taeyeon chuckled. She did say a lot of things.
“When y-you said…” Tiffany paused and Taeyeon can sense her reluctance, “when you said you
still wanted to be w-with me even after everything…?”
She felt a jolt inside her body. She didn’t expect the question, or the boldness that Tiffany
suddenly decided to show.
Suddenly she felt petty, staying up because of a measly kiss when Tiffany…
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“Please tell me, Taeyeon…
“Tiffany… I…”
Taeyeon didn’t know why she was hesitating when she knew deep in her heart that she’ll forever
love Tiffany. The other girl could kill her right then and there, and she wouldn’t mind. She’d
even apologize for letting her blood graze the younger girl’s hands.
It was sick and masochistic, Taeyeon knew, but after finding herself staying in the same room as
Tiffany with her daughter from another man, ‘masochistic’ couldn’t even begin to describe her
life. She felt like she was in a terrible reality show and that the world was watching and laughing
at her.
But even then, she was standing there with Tiffany and she felt like everything’s going to be fine
again. The world could laugh at her, mock her, or call her names, but they were there, she was
there, and she was given another chance to get the girl that got away.
“I need to know...” She barely heard Tiffany whisper.
‘This is crazy. You’ll get yourself hurt again, I can feel it…’
“I… I do,” Taeyeon answered nervously.
‘But I really love her… and maybe we could…?’
To hell with logic.
-----
Tiffany wondered if Taeyeon put something in her coffee because she couldn’t find a decent
explanation as to why her heart was beating so fast that she wanted to just snatch the older girl’s
face and kiss her senseless.
She didn’t know if it was the mixture of warmth in her body and the coldness of the air but her
mind felt so rattled and confused. All she wanted was to spend more time with Taeyeon but
when she had made the mistake of glancing at the latter, all her feelings exploded.
It probably was the cold, because Tiffany felt alone and lonely all of a sudden and she wished,
from the bottom of her heart, to be held again, to feel safe again. Like the mug of coffee she had
been cradling earlier, she wished to be treated with fragility. Because that’s what she is, fragile
and vulnerable.
Taeyeon had always treated her right, like how a loved one was to be treated and more. And
some point, he treated her right too. Sometimes, she even thought that he treated her better than
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Taeyeon did, but…
There’s always a ‘but’ in every argument.
It’s funny, look at who she’s with right now.
“I… I do,” she heard Taeyeon say finally.
Tiffany was tired of being scared, of being left behind. It was ironic though, cause the person
she’s counting on to protect her and to stay with her was the one person she left for another.
She wanted to laugh and cry at the irony.
But she wanted her, again. She wanted her so much. She wasn’t afraid to admit that.
“Will I be selfish,” Tiffany began, thinking of the right words to say, “If I ask you to take me
back?”
Words are superficial yet uttering them is the fastest way to get the message across.
And Tiffany wanted, badly, to get it across to Taeyeon, ‘cause she couldn’t waste any more time
away from her.
She shifted, again, careful not to wake her sleeping daughter. Tiffany couldn’t take her mind
away from the dinner, the talk on the cliff, the rings. She was on the verge of going crazy and she
only has herself to blame. Her curiosity was satiated, and surely she died, figuratively, because
of the revelations.
Tiffany tried to suppress the boding feeling when she had kissed Taeyeon but the waves of
nostalgia that gradually hit her had become too overwhelming. Suddenly she was brought back
to the times when they were still together, sickeningly loving and pathetically head over heels in
love with each other.
So she picked herself up, tried to smooth out the wrinkles on her loose shirt and made her way
towards the door.
Tiffany glanced at the clock as she held the knob.
Almost two in the morning.
Is there really a proper time to tell someone you want them back?
-----
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Chapter 16
Frankly, Taeyeon had never imagined, even once in all those four years, that she would get to
wake up like this.
At least, not again.
The memory and all the feelings tied with it had long been buried and shoved at the back of her
mind and heart, and opening them once again would only bring pain.
There were days that she had unconsciously let them out, but most of the time, it had left her in
tears by sundown.
Her whole body hurt and Taeyeon thought deeply that this couldn’t be a dream when she can feel
physical pain from the position she was in. She felt stiffness on her back and she was sure that no
blood would have been able to go to her limbs because of the weight pressing her down on the
cushion.
But what is a temporary physical disability when the love of your life was lying comfortably on
top of you, arms around your waist holding you possessively and those ever soft lips pressed on
your neck gently.
She tried to move her head to the side but the act just made Tiffany snuggle into her neck closer.
“Good morning,” she heard a hoarse voice and it made her froze.
Taeyeon was sure that Tiffany was still slumbering but that husky voice she had always loved
ringing so close to her ear like it was spoken inside her head made her nerves sensitive, her heart
race.
“Hey,” she whispered back just as quiet, uttering the word like a secret, “good morning.”
Tiffany purred softly against her neck and Taeyeon swallowed.
“I… I do.”
A part of her wanted to take those words back but it was quite too late. She did mean them,
though, and taking them back would make her a hypocrite; a desperate hypocrite who wanted
nothing but to have Tiffany back. It was ironic, but Taeyeon was still hurt, and the kind of pain
that she had been carrying wasn’t the type that you’d forget even after so many years. Those
words kind of hurt her, especially her pride, or at least what’s left of it.
She was beyond pathetic now, and she knew that for a fact.
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“Will I be selfish... If I ask you to take me back?”
The question rattled Taeyeon’s whole being.
Yes, she wanted to say. Tiffany was being selfish indeed.
Taeyeon was mad at her; she wanted to hate her for what she did. When Tiffany left, she had
spent all of her waking moments questioning herself, the heavens, even the empty space beside
her and that framed picture displayed mockingly on her nightstand, on why was she left to fend
for her heart alone when they had promised forever to each other.
She knew she was never a bad person. She loved with all of her heart and she tried everything in
her capabilities to help. But why? Why was she the one left alone at the altar, with years of love
being ripped and thrown uselessly like it didn’t happened, the kisses and embraces they’ve
shared forgotten, just because of a spur growth of another love that wasn’t her.
Everything hurt, every cell, every fibre of her screamed in pain; pain that she tried to hide
behind her smiles.
Yes, Tiffany was selfish, but somehow… she was too.
Because as much as she was screaming for pain, her heart had been yelling louder for her to
love again.
“Yes,” Taeyeon said softly, “you are selfish.” She breathed out. “You left me at the altar, told
me that you didn’t love me anymore and that I couldn’t make you happy. Do you know how much
that hurt?”
She didn’t know when it started but Taeyeon found herself crying, dropping every wall she built,
every fake façade and mask she wore that helped her survive all those years that she was alone.
She tore them down with every word, every question she had kept inside of her, those questions
that she knew she would never be able to voice out until now.
“We promised forever, you know. Even before I asked you to marry me, we already promised
forever to each other,” Taeyeon kept on crying yet her voice still sounded so clear. “But you still
left me alone…”
She tilted her head downwards and let her tears fall quietly, freely. Taeyeon didn’t dare to look
at Tiffany because she knew what a single glance can do. Every damn feeling inside of her was
pushing their way out and she was tired of suppressing them. She wouldn’t let the night end
without releasing every single one.
“Did you know that after you left, I’ve started sleeping and sleeping more? Sunny had always
scolded me about it…” Taeyeon chuckled sadly when she remembered the first few months she
had spent when she returned home from the failed wedding and supposed honeymoon. “I spent
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all of my free time sleeping because,” she finally looked at Tiffany who had also started to cry.
“Because in my dreams, you were still with me… You still loved me.”
She paused and swallowed the lump building in her throat before letting out a loud sigh.
“So yes, Tiffany, you’re selfish. For leaving me, for coming back with a daughter, for asking me
to take you back…”
“Taeyeon, I—“
“You’re selfish because even after everything that had happened, you still own my heart…”
Taeyeon looked at her and smiled amidst the tears. “And frankly, even if you’ve decided to
return it to me, I won’t take it back.”
She approached Tiffany with careful steps, like if she walked too fast, her fragile self would
break again and then she wouldn’t be whole enough for her.
“Because I love you and only you,” Taeyeon held her cheeks with her shaking hands and wiped
the tears that were trailing down her face with her thumbs, “and if you’re selfish then I want to
be selfish too. I want my heart to only belong to you…”
And she kissed her.
Taeyeon leaned forward and just kissed her, lightly, lips pressed softly against trembling ones.
She pulled back an inch and pressed her forehead against the other.
“So yes, Fany,” Taeyeon whispered, making sure that her breath hit Tiffany’s moist lips, “I’ll
take you back. Every selfish, hurtful, lying, imperfect piece of you.”
“Thank you.”
She heard Tiffany’s voice and it made her look at her. There was an inexplicable softness in the
latter’s eyes and Taeyeon thought that she had seen that gaze before.
“For what?” She asked just as soft.
“For taking me back.”
This might be one of the stupidest decisions she had ever made in her whole life, but she was
happy and she thought that it’s the only thing that matters the most.
She was happy, Tiffany was happy.
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For how long, she didn’t know. She just wished that it would last this time.
Taeyeon held her tighter against her chest, against her heart, and gently pressed her lips on
Tiffany’s forehead.
“My pleasure.”
-----
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Chapter 17
Taeyeon felt the cold water trail from her forehead down to her eyelids, making her close her
eyes in reflex. She gripped the sides of the sink so tight that her knuckles started to hurt, and yet
she felt so surreal, like everything around her was a dream and none of them were tangible. Her
shirt was getting soaked from the droplets that had managed to drip from her chin, but she didn’t
feel the coldness it brought, only the warmth that her body was emitting, especially from the spot
on her chest where Tiffany had laid her head while they cuddled until the sun rose.
She heaved a sigh; the breath coming out of her mouth was shaky and warm to her lips.
The warmth was real, she thought, but she stared at her own reflection like it wasn’t herself that
she was seeing on the mirror.
Taeyeon held a hand up to her chest, on top of her heart, and felt it beating rather strongly. She
breathed in deeply and the lingering scent of Tiffany’s hair invaded her nose and her mind, and it
made her smile.
For the first time in years, she didn’t know what to do. She felt like she had just learned how to
fall in love for the first time, and it was making her giddy and nervous and foolishly, foolishly
idiotic.
Tiffany was back in her life yet she found herself locked in the washroom, drowning her face on
the sink, doing every unnecessary thing just to prolong the time that she had to face Tiffany
again.
‘Patheti—‘
“Taeyeon? You okay in there?” She heard the soft knock.
Tiffany’s voice rang from outside the washroom door and no matter how muffled it came out,
Taeyeon still felt all the hairs on her body stand on end just by the mere sound of it. Somehow,
she hated how every little thing about the other girl affected her.
Yet she loved how they’re affecting her too. The thought was confusing but Tiffany was
confusing and so was she.
“U-Uh, yeah. Sorry, I’m almost finished,” she croaked.
“Okay. I already called room service for our breakfast.”
“I’ll be right out.”
She heard Tiffany’s retreating footsteps and only then had she managed to let out the breath she
didn’t know she was holding.
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Taeyeon looked at her reflection again before shaking her head and chuckling.
‘So pathetic.’
-----
“So what’s the deal with you two now?”
Tiffany watched Jessica sip her drink before focusing her attention back to Taeyeon, who was
deliberating with Sunny on another table. She couldn’t hear the conversation clearly, but the
words she picked up were enough for her to deduce that they were probably planning on how to
cover the upcoming wedding.
She smiled instantly when she saw Taeyeon’s somewhat frustrated yet adorable expression, and
she felt this urge to just barge towards their table and kiss her right then and there.
“You’re crazy.”
Tiffany turned back to Jessica only to find the latter glaring at her.
“What?” She asked as flatly as she could, but her smiling eyes just gave away the emotion she’s
been shamelessly displaying ever since she woke up in Taeyeon’s arms this morning.
“She’s crazier though,” she heard Jessica say, “if I were her, I wouldn’t take you back.”
“She is.”
Tiffany couldn’t help but agree, but she was thankful, really thankful.
“She’s crazy for loving me.”
-----
“Yeah... Add a few more redheads just in case... Yes... Oh right, don’t forget the softbox...
Uhuh... Yep, that’s all. I need those here as soon as possible, okay? Yeah, yeah. Thanks, bye.”
Taeyeon ended the call with their equipment staff before sipping her water, her throat suddenly
feeling dry from all the talking. She sighed as she felt the cool liquid soothe her scratchy throat
and just like that, she felt all the stress from the upcoming wedding withering away bit by bit.
She was about to pocket her phone when she saw Sunny eyeing her like she had done the biggest
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mistake in her life.
“What?” Taeyeon asked even though she already had a fair knowledge of what’s eating her
friend up.
“Don’t ‘what’ me, Kim Taeyeon.”
Earlier that day, Sunny and Jessica had accidentally witnessed them kissing by their hotel room
door. It was a shock for all parties present.
Taeyeon sighed and leaned back on her seat while crossing her arms. Sunny’s judging gaze
might have been appropriate, and yes, she might have committed the biggest mistake in her life,
but right now mistakes didn’t matter – no, not that much anymore – because she’s in love again
and she’s happy.
‘I’m happy,’ she repeated the statement in her head and she smiled.
“You’re cra—“
“Crazy, I know. I think it’s a little crazy,” Taeyeon nodded and smiled to herself.
“A little? Taeyeon, really? Just a little?” She heard Sunny hiss, “what the hell is wrong with
you?! Are you even thinking?!”
She lifted her head and looked at her best friend right in the eyes. Taeyeon didn’t say anything
for a while but she was smiling that smile she had missed giving other people. She then caught
sight of Tiffany at the corner of her eyes and it made her smile wider.
“Probably not,” Taeyeon said softly, but loud enough for Sunny to hear.
-----
Sunny was about to scold her best friend for another round when she bit her tongue accidentally,
making her taste that familiar rusted tang of blood. It hurt so much but she couldn’t bring herself
to even utter a short curse because the look she saw on Taeyeon’s face was something she had
missed seeing.
Not only did her smile reached her eyes, but that chin dimple had finally made its appearance
again.
She observed her and only then had she noticed the unusual glow that was surrounding Taeyeon,
and being someone who had, for the past four years, seen nothing but a dark cloud following her
best friend everywhere she went, it was kind of refreshing.
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Sunny smiled unconsciously as she watched Taeyeon steal glances at Tiffany who was at the
other table with Jessica. She almost chuckled when she saw the dazed expression that spurred
from her best friend’s face when the girl at the other table smiled her beautiful eye smile.
Even though she wasn’t still entirely agreeing at the sudden decision of going back together, who
was she to go in between her two friends?
‘Those four years apart were enough...’
She could only hope that all the heartaches would stop right there.
For good this time.
-----
“The wedding’s coming up fast.”
The breeze started to pick up as Tiffany snuggled closer to Taeyeon, the latter’s arms
deliberately tightening around her as she held her from behind.
They were back on the beach, the same spot where they had their first outing with Juhyun, but
the little bundle of heaven was now busy playing with her Aunt Sunny by the shore.
“Yeah. We’ve already finished the pre-wedding photo shoots so Sunny and I are just waiting for
the actual ceremony now. The rest of the team along with the additional equipment will be
arriving today too.”
She nodded absentmindedly and just continued to bask on the warmth that the shorter girl was
giving her. Tiffany had missed her, especially when she had seen the girl for the first time that
night at the bar, but she had never expected that she had longed for her so much until she had
actually had the chance to hold Taeyeon in her arms.
It was surreal, being able to feel her again, being able to breathe in that familiar scent again, and
somehow Tiffany wanted to berate herself for what happened four years ago, because maybe
then hearts wouldn’t need to break, especially Taeyeon’s.
The other girl’s ringing phone snapped her from her thoughts.
“Hello? Yeah, this is Taeng. Where? Oh you’re at the parking lot already? Okay, okay. I’ll meet
you in 5 minutes. Bye!”
Tiffany giggled as she felt Taeyeon squeeze her in a hug cutely before stealing a peck from her
cheeks.
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“I need to go for a while, Fany. The team’s here and I need to meet them at the front. Just tell
Sunny when she comes back.”
She looked at her and nodded as she smiled, earning a grin and a childish thumbs from the short
girl.
Tiffany watched Taeyeon sprint away from her before stopping abruptly, and she furrowed her
eyebrows when she saw the latter taking quick strides back towards her. Taeyeon squatted down
in front of her before cupping her cheek, pulling her in for a kiss.
It was short, but it was enough to steal her breath away, and immediately she felt the need to
gasp for air as soon as Taeyeon released her lips. She leaned her forehead on the latter’s and
smiled amidst the trouble in breathing.
“I’ll see you later,” she heard Taeyeon whisper, the latter’s soft breath hitting her moist lips.
It was more like reflex, or maybe instinct, because Tiffany suddenly found her own hands
reaching for the shorter girl’s cheeks before pulling the other in for another kiss. She thought,
amusingly, that Taeyeon stealing her breath away that easy wasn’t fair at all.
And so she did the same, with her lips, with the soft pads of her fingers gently laid on the face
that she loved so much, and with everything she had at that moment, and she hoped greatly that
she could steal Taeyeon’s breath away too.
“Okay,” Tiffany uttered against her lips and she smiled when she felt Taeyeon shudder under her
touch.
With a small smile and much reluctance, she had released the slightly trembling girl before
gesturing for her to go.
-----
“She’s really exhausted.”
“She is.”
Tiffany held the snoozing Juhyun in her arms and chuckled with Sunny as they padded along the
carpet-covered hallway towards their hotel room. It had been a fun day, with her daughter
enjoying every minute of it, flinging sand and water to her and Sunny. She was happy, seeing the
little girl like that, because she had honestly never seen her energetic like that.
Juhyun had always been a quiet kid. She was articulate though, but only when she wanted to, and
perhaps she’s a little more matured than her age, but the little girl never really enjoyed the
company of others, or more like was never comfortable, especially around men. Often times
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Tiffany would just watch her play alone with her dolls and stuffed toys, and she couldn’t help but
be sad about it.
She shifted the little girl in her hold as she fished for her cardkey before handing it to Sunny who
opened the door for them happily.
“Go tuck her in; I’ll stay until the midget comes back.”
Tiffany chuckled and nodded as she made her way towards their room. She tucked her in under
the warm blanket and laid a sweet kiss on Juhyun’s forehead before heading out to the living
room to join Sunny.
Reaching the sofa, she furrowed her eyebrows when she didn’t see the short girl. Tiffany craned
her neck towards the veranda but also found it empty. Just when she was about to go to
Taeyeon’s room to look for her there, she heard the door opening and the short girl’s voice
sounding a little confused.
Tiffany changed the direction of her feet and headed for the front door where she saw Sunny
talking to someone.
“Hey, Sunny, is Taeyeon ba—“
She felt all the blood in her head leave her face.
“O-Oppa...”
“H-Hey, Tiff.”
-----
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Chapter 18
Tiffany had always regarded life as a bundle of unexpected events and situations that were
occasionally thrown at her to keep her in check. Countless of times, she had found herself stuck
in a sticky scenario, but often times, she manages to get out, sometimes unscathed, but most of
the time, wounded.
When she was thrown in that horrible dilemma where she needed to leave Taeyeon for a man she
had fell in love with, she felt so terrible that she wanted to just drown herself in the tub provided
in her hotel suite.
She knew, that although Taeyeon had let her go that day, that she left a very big wound on the
latter’s heart. Tiffany had already accepted the possibility, very guiltily, that it might never heal
again, but who was she? She was only human, and though it sounded selfish, she just wanted to
be happy.
Just when she thought that her life had turned for the better, she was left by the person whom she
thought had loved her as much as she did, at a life-turning event too, when she found out that she
was pregnant with his child.
She was thankful though, for her daughter’s existence, because somehow her little girl had
slowed her fast paced life a little bit, and only then had she experienced the joys that life was
finally ready to offer her.
But as they say, nothing remains steady forever.
"What are you doing here?"
Tiffany sighed as she rubbed her temples, feeling an impending headache trying to break through
her skull. Everything was getting tiring.
"I... I called your dad and asked for you. He said you came back here for a wedding so... So I
followed you,” he said awkwardly, scared.
"Why?"
"Tiffany, c-can we talk? Please?"
"We're talking now, aren't we?" Her voice sounded irritated and she knew that the man had
sensed it.
He fidgeted and looked at Sunny's direction apprehensively before turning back at her. Tiffany
knew he wanted some privacy but being alone with him scared her. Of what and why, she did not
know. Nonetheless, she gave in to his request and asked Sunny to go be with Juhyun for a while.
The shorter girl hesitated but nodded and left not long after, but not without giving her a
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disapproving look.
"Talk,” Tiffany finally said as soon as Sunny closed the door.
She didn't want to be harsh but she just couldn't control the annoyance that was gradually
building up inside of her.
Tiffany thought that everything would finally start to be better, especially now that she had
Taeyeon back, but sadly it wasn't how life worked.
"I-I'm sorry," he said with his head down, and Tiffany can see how nervous he was.
She closed her eyes and tried to push all the feelings that were threatening to explode. Her
daughter was sleeping peacefully in the other room and she didn’t want to wake her up. She
knew how loud she could be, and so screaming wasn’t an option.
"That's it? You're just... sorry?" She hissed as her annoyance was starting to become anger.
"No, no! I... I screwed up, Tiff. I'm really sorry,” he said as he lowered his head more, “We had
just settled in and everything was just running so perfectly for us! My job was doing great and I
just had my promotion! A-And I wasn't ready to be a dad ye—"
"And you think I was?!"
Tiffany was now fuming mad. She couldn't believe the things she was hearing from the man he
left Taeyeon for. She couldn’t hold in her voice anymore and she just wished that the walls were
thick enough to muffle her screams.
"I wasn't ready to be a mother too, you know,” she exhaled, “And just like you, I had just
managed to find the perfect career for me! But as soon as I discovered that I was pregnant with
YOUR baby, I've never felt so happy in my life! You promised me a family and when it
happened I thought... I thought that we're finally going to have one..."
Tiffany felt tears trail down her cheeks as she had let out all her frustrations. She chuckled,
bitterly, as she had realized how many times she had cried in that short trip alone. Tiffany wished
for no more.
She wiped her tears harshly and watched him attentively; his shoulders were slumped and his
head was hung low. It was a little different from the confident man she had met and fallen in love
with before, and she thought, maybe, that those four years really did cause a lot of change not
only to her and Taeyeon, but also to him.
"We were gonna be a family, Tiffany. I was gonna propose to you... I wanted to marry you..." He
whispered.
He took a step towards her and it made Tiffany take a step back. Though her mind was in
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disarray and her emotions were all over the place, she still couldn’t deny the anger that was
rooted pretty deeply in her heart.
"And I would have said yes to you if only you didn't bail out on me!"
"I panicked, okay!” She was startled by the loud voice. “I-I... The kid... I-It was unplanned, it
caught me off guar—“
"Juhyun,” she whispered, “her name is Juhyun. And she's the most beautiful little girl..."
Tiffany was now openly crying. Seeing him there in front of her, talking about her daughter with
him, had brought out all of the concealed pains she had been bottling while she was raising her
daughter alone.
It was never easy for her, being a single mom, especially when Juhyun had grown old enough to
ask for her father. Tiffany was thankful though, that her own dad had stuck with them and had
unwaveringly stood as the sole male-figure in Juhyun's life in spite of that stunt she pulled four
years ago that pretty much shamed her family.
"You don't know how hard it was whenever she asks about her daddy," she breathed out shakily,
"whenever she asks about you... I didn't know what to say. I can't tell her that her dad
disappeared because he didn't want her."
"Tiff..."
She saw him take a careful step towards her and to be honest, she was too tired to get away.
Tiffany didn't expect that this innocent trip back to Korea would spark the beginning of a lot
more happenings, each seem to weigh heavier and heavier as they come at her one after the
other.
She felt him take her into his strong arms and wanted to resist, but she couldn't deny the warm
feeling that she felt when he enveloped her into a tight embrace.
Tiffany cried into his chest. It was too much.
Everything's just taking too much of her when she had nothing left more to give.
"Please, Tiffany. I'm sorry. Give me another chance, please..."
'Another chance,' she thought.
Taeyeon had given her one. Undoubtedly, she was given another chance and it made her feel like
she was soaring, because finally she would be able to right her mistakes.
'Taeyeon.'
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Tiffany uttered the name in her head and suddenly she felt guilty. She felt guilty in talking to
him, in being in his arms, in thinking what she was thinking.
She closed her eyes and clenched her fist tightly that her nails had started to dig in her palms. It
was painful, but right now it was what she needed; she needed to feel pain.
Because maybe, it would take over the guilt that was eating her up.
But, she thought, maybe if she gave him another chance, then he could right his mistakes too.
And maybe then, Juhyun wouldn't have a broken family anymore.
Maybe then, they would finally be complete.
"Fany, I'm bac—“
Tiffany wanted to kill herself for being too caught up in her head that she didn't hear the door
opening.
And then maybe she could tear her soul into pieces right after because the look that Taeyeon had
in her face held so many emotions.
Surprise.
Confusion.
Sadness.
Pain.
"Taeyeon, I—“
"Forgive me for barging in."
Tiffany pried herself from the embrace and pushed the man away from her as she watched the
other girl run back out the door and towards God knows where. She can only imagine how
intimate they looked from Taeyeon's perspective and it made her tremble with fear.
"Taeyeon, wait! Damn it!" She cursed as she stomped her feet in frustration. "No, no, no, no..."
Tiffany chanted to herself as she felt her hands shake in panic. "Sunny! Sunny!"
The shorter girl burst out from her room and ran to her in worry and confusion.
“Fany, what happened?!” Sunny held her arms and shook her. “Why are you crying?!”
"Taeyeon, she, she s-saw," she said as she sobbed uncontrollably, "she saw us h-hugging and s-
she ran. Sunny..."
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"Tsk! Tiffany, you—“
"M-Mommy?"
Tiffany’s head snapped towards the direction of her room and saw her daughter rubbing her
sleepy eyes. She looked at her apologetically as she might have woken her up with all her
screaming so she beckoned for her to come closer, and the little girl did, albeit slowly and
drowsily.
She squatted in front of Juhyun and held the kid's cheeks gently.
"Hi, baby, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" She cradled the girl in her arms and kissed her
forehead.
Juhyun nodded and Tiffany couldn't help but shed more tears.
She felt her daughter squirm in her hold and she released her, before feeling the latter's small
hands cupping her cheeks and wiping her tears.
"Don't cry, mommy," Juhyun said as the little girl kissed her tear-stricken cheek. "Taetae told me
to kiss tears and they will go away."
The mention of the name made Tiffany's eyes widen as she remembered what happened, and
though she didn't want to part with her adorable daughter yet, she had to find Taeyeon. Fast.
She stood up and realized that she had neglected another presence in the room. Tiffany needed to
go but the man who was standing awkwardly not far from her at least deserved to be introduced
to his own daughter.
"Oppa," she called out as she tried to get the little girl that suddenly started to hide behind her
leg, "this is Juhyun. Come on baby, say hi." Tiffany cooed at her but the girl refused and shook
her head as she continued to hide behind her.
"I'm sorry, she's just..." she turned towards the man and found him standing stiff with his eyes
looking apprehensively at Juhyun, "a little shy..." She said, a little confused at his behaviour.
“H-Hi, Juhyun.” He said in a small voice.
It was probably the most awkward scene that Tiffany had come to witness and frankly she had
imagined for this day to come countless of times before. And she had to admit, that her
expectations were a hundred and eighty degrees different from what had happened in reality.
If they were in a different situation, she would have laughed and smiled widely, cause
awkwardness can be adorable too, in some way. But the thick silent air that was surrounding
them right now was disconcerting, added with the fact that she needed to chase after a girl that
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probably wouldn’t talk to her anymore.
“Uhm, Sunny,” Tiffany said rather worriedly, “could you please watch Juhyun...?” She looked at
her with pleading eyes.
The shorter girl wordlessly nodded before taking Juhyun in her arms, taking the little girl back to
her room.
“Go after her. Now.” Sunny uttered as she looked at her disappointingly before closing the door.
Tiffany took her phone and hurriedly wore her coat and her shoes as she prepared to set out in
search for the other girl. She had been delayed long enough and right now she couldn’t think of a
place where the short girl may be. Taeyeon might even have left the resort already, and the
thought of that made her shiver with dread.
She looked at the man who was still staring at her expectantly.
“Oppa, I think you should go.”
“But Tiffany—“
“Just,” she pinched the bridge of her nose as she ushered the man out of the room, “we’ll talk
again. Just go.”
Tiffany didn’t wait for him to respond as she bolted towards the elevators with her first
destination in mind, her best friends’ room.
-----
"Taeyeon!"
Tiffany ran up hill until she reached the girl who was sitting quietly on a rock. She panted and
gasped for air as she had been running around for an hour now, going back and forth from the
hotel and the beach until she had realized that she hasn't checked the cliff.
She had decided to go straight to Yuri’s and Jessica’s room first but failed to find the short girl
there, so she mindlessly proceeded to the hotel parking lot to look for the latter’s car, only to
realize that she didn’t really know which one she owned.
Her panic-driven feet had then taken her to that outdoor restaurant they’ve visited a few days ago
and only then had she thought about the cliff. She tirelessly followed the shore and wished that
she was walking the right way.
She knew that she had found her when she caught sight of a small light that was glowing from
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the top of the cliff.
Tiffany walked towards Taeyeon slowly, her feet feeling heavy and her legs sore.
"I've been looking all over for you."
Her voice softened at the sight of the silent girl and she wanted nothing more than to pull her in
her arms and apologize, though she knew that there was really nothing to apologize for.
She was just caught at the wrong time, she thought, but the guilt had started to creep in again and
so maybe, maybe she should really say sorry.
"Hey—“
"I'm tired, Tiffany," Taeyeon whispered, her eyes staring blankly at the dark horizon.
"Then let's go bac—“
"No, Fany. I... I'm tired."
The words rang in her ears and it made her stop. There was a dreadful tone in Taeyeon’s voice
and it scared her.
“W-What do you mean...?”
“I’m tired of this, of everything. I just...” she heard her sigh, “I just want the pain to stop.”
Tiffany felt her knees weaken at the forlorn tone but she held her ground; she couldn’t break
down now. Taeyeon was hurt, once again, because of her, and now she wanted to just beat
herself for even thinking that there was nothing to apologize for.
She was about to reach for her when the latter stood up, still refusing to look at her.
“I... I thought I can, you know? I really do...” She finally looked at her and only then did Tiffany
saw the tears.
“I love you,” Taeyeon whispered, “I love you so, so much, Tiffany. But this, us... I don’t think
we’re really meant to be together,” she chuckled sadly as she wiped the tears on her cheeks. “I
mean, everything’s just trying to keep us apart, and... and I don’t think my heart can handle it
anymore.”
“Taeyeon, pleas—“
“He asked you to take him back... Didn’t he?”
Tiffany hung her head low and nodded weakly. Taeyeon’s small voice was too much for her to
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take in.
“So... Are you?”
Her mind blanked out all of a sudden and no coherent words were formed in her tongue. As
much as she wanted to answer, she really didn’t know how or what. Tiffany hadn’t thought of it
that far, and since her talk with her ex-boyfriend had been pretty much cut prematurely, her
decision had been forced to be left hanging.
For someone who had made a ton of mistakes in her life, Tiffany didn’t want to make any more.
She had somehow learned her lesson, hurt enough people, and she just wished, with all of her
heart, that it would stop. That everything would just stop and leave her and her life alone.
“I...”
She looked at Taeyeon and she was surprised with the gentle stare that the latter was giving her.
Behind those tears that she badly wanted to wipe away were Taeyeon’s soft brown orbs, and
somehow they looked begging, pleading.
“I don’t know...”
Tiffany knew. She knew what Taeyeon wanted, but she was scared.
She was scared because she didn’t know what to do and the possibility of making yet another
mistake hung above like an anvil just waiting to drop on her head.
A soft chuckle reached her ears and she saw Taeyeon shaking her head dejectedly. Tiffany
immediately reached out for her but the latter raised her hand and stopped her mid-step.
“Don’t.” Her voice sounded cold.
Taeyeon’s words were like ice and it pierced through her heart. She was rejected outright, and
she didn’t know what to make of it because frankly, Taeyeon had never rejected her, not even
once.
Until now.
The shorter girl walked past her and she took the opportunity to grab hold of the latter, throwing
her arms around her, enveloping her in a back hug. She held her tight against her body and the
coldness of Taeyeon’s skin seeped through her clothes and made her numb.
“Taeyeon...” Tiffany cried as she buried her face on the other girl’s nape, her tears flowing
freely. “Don’t leave…”
“Hey, Fany,” she felt her hand pat her arm lightly, “let’s stop this, okay?”
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She shook her head against her back and cried more. Tiffany was losing her and she couldn’t let
that happen.
“I know you’re tired too, so,” she heard Taeyeon choke on her sobs and Tiffany felt her heart
bleed, “let’s just end this here. Okay?” Her voice was small and low, and her cries had made it
hard for her to talk, yet she heard everything clearly. Tiffany wished she didn’t but it was too
late; the words had already imprinted themselves on her breaking heart.
“No, please…”
She tried to hold on tighter but Taeyeon pried her arms off before walking away without giving
her a second look.
Tiffany’s day started warm and lovely, but she couldn’t say the same anymore as it was nearing
its end.
“Taeyeon, please…” She called out to no one.
-----
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Chapter 19
When Tiffany woke up, the first thing she did after making sure that her daughter was still safely
tucked in bed, was to look for Taeyeon in her room.
She blindly dragged her feet outside her room, across the small living room and towards
Taeyeon’s door. Drowsiness was keeping her mind from functioning properly and she felt like
she didn’t really get to sleep last night, but the dried tears on her cheeks were evidence enough
that she had indeed cried herself to slumber.
Tiffany raised her knuckle but stopped mid-air. It was only proper to knock; it was courtesy, but
the simple gesture made her so nervous that a part of her just wanted to barge in just so she could
get it over with fast.
She breathed out and clenched her fist before knocking.
Nothing.
Not even a sound of a shuffle.
“Taeyeon?” She called out softly. “Can I come in?”
Silence.
Tiffany swallowed the growing lump in her throat and tried to hold in the tears that were
threatening to spill from her eyes.
She made another mistake, that much she knew, but the gravity of the situation hasn’t hit her yet
and it scared her greatly, because somehow she had this dreadful feeling that this one was her
biggest mistake yet.
She sighed for the second time that morning, and though her mind was protesting for what she
was about to do, her body willed her to do otherwise. So she reached for the doorknob and
twisted it ever so slowly, the coldness of the metal burning her palm.
“Taeyeon?”
Tiffany opened the door wider and was immediately greeted by an empty room. The bed was
flawlessly kept like it was never slept on, and moreover, the other girl’s things weren’t there
anymore.
The tears she was holding in finally trickled down her cheeks and it finally dawned on her that
Taeyeon had already left.
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-----
She found herself, yet again, on the same shore, bearing the same feeling.
Pain.
Sadness.
Unworthiness.
Taeyeon gripped her camera tight, her knuckles turning white and her heart turning numb.
Taeyeon thought, before, that tears weren't enough to express loneliness anymore, yet she was
crying now, baring her heart once again, at least what's left of it, to the sea that had first
witnessed its breakdown.
She was thankful though, that after four long years, she had the chance to know what it feels like
to be alive again, how it feels like to be whole again, even if it was for a few hours. Barely
whole, she told herself, but better than being empty and useless.
Taeyeon knew that it was too good to be true but still she couldn’t deprive herself of real
happiness, even if it’s temporary.
She had once been a hopeful soul and she had never seen the bad in anything. She believed that
everything has a reason, that everything happens for a reason.
But believing can only take you so far, especially when experiencing the real thing had
overpowered everything. Reality, same with the truth, hurts. It kills, it breaks, it abandons.
'Abandoned...'
Taeyeon shook her head. Pathetic, she thought.
Tears started to stream from her eyes quietly, soundlessly, like her heart that had started to beat
slowly and weakly, only enough for her to live.
It was done beating for two people and everything became clear to her now, and it brought more
pain than before.
"Hey, Taeng..."
"Yes, Sunny?" She didn't look at her best friend.
"Everyone's ready. Jessica will have her bridal march soon."
Sunny's voice was soft and gentle, like the small waves that almost reached her naked feet. She
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was thankful though, for her persistence in following her to that place. More than anything, she's
just glad that there was someone that could gather her broken self.
"Okay. You can go back first, I'll be right there with you."
"Don't take too long, okay?"
Taeyeon nodded and heard Sunny's retreating steps. She wiped her tears and took a deep breath.
Professional, that’s what she needed to be at that moment.
But she couldn't wait for the night to come just so she can finally, once again, drown in her tears.
-----
She smiled, albeit a small one, as she stared at the fidgeting Yuri standing awkwardly beside the
wedding minister. She brought the camera in front of her face and zoomed at her.
'I wonder if I looked like that when...'
Taeyeon shook the thoughts away and focused her attention at the bride-to-be instead.
She couldn’t begin to describe how much adored her new found career. It had taken her to
places, beautiful paradises that she never thought she'd visit. It had given her the chance to meet
new people, with different personalities and outlooks in life, and in a way, she had learned a lot,
and in turn, she had also given away a bit of her own knowledge as she parted with them.
The same with Yuri and Jessica, she treasured every friendship she had built. Sure enough, her
contacts had grown in numbers throughout the years, yet she thought dejectedly, as she watched
the maid of honour walk gracefully along the aisle, that a thousand new people wouldn't be able
to replace the longing for one.
Click.
Taeyeon didn’t need to check her shot. Tiffany had always been perfect.
She swallowed the tears that were once again threatening to seep out from her eyes and brought
her focus back to Yuri.
Taeyeon chuckled. She would, at every wedding she gets to attend, observe the groom during the
entourage. It was quite unfair, she thought, that while everyone was busy being awed by the
bride, that they actually miss the person who held the greatest emotion in the ceremony.
Being able to stand at the end, of which would also mark a new beginning to a couple, while
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trying your hardest not to burst in tears was a feat in itself. She had once been there and it was
exhilarating and nerve-wracking at the same time. It was a feeling she'll never forget amidst
being buried by pains and regret.
-----
“Congratulations, Jessi!” Tiffany reached for Jessica and gave the latter a tight hug and a kiss on
the cheek before reaching out to Yuri and doing the same. “Yuri, congratulations!”
She was genuinely happy for her two best friends and it was evident in her smiles and grins. The
ceremony had just ended and all the guests were now being ushered to the outdoor reception.
Everything was beautiful, perfect even, and Tiffany remembered her own wedding four years
ago. It was a shame though, that she didn’t really get to absorb everything. Her mind and heart
were in a dilemma at that time and she was just distracted. She couldn’t even remember the color
of her bouquet or which flowers were they.
“Aunt Jessi! Aunt Yuri!” Juhyun’s voice snapped her from her thoughts and she saw the little
girl run towards them before jumping in Yuri’s arms.
“Ooof!” Tiffany chuckled as Yuri grunted and struggled with the hyper kid.
“Aunt Yuri, pretty!” Juhyun hugged the tanned girl and squeezed the latter’s neck.
“Aw, thank you, baby! How about Aunt Jessi?” Yuri gestured at her new wife and the
newlyweds waited expectantly for the little girl’s answer.
Juhyun furrowed her eyebrows cutely and pushed her lips into a pout. She looked at Yuri then at
Jessica and back.
“More pretty!” The little girl finally exclaimed.
“That’s my baby!”
Tiffany laughed at Jessica’s proud face as her best friend kissed her daughter on the cheek. It was
amusing to see them like that, and it made her smile that her two best friends were finally
together.
She turned around and looked for the one person she had been thinking of the whole day.
Though she was smiling the whole ceremony, her mind was still plagued by the thought of not
being able to talk to Taeyeon. That’s why she was finally able to breathe more easily when she
saw the small girl roaming around the venue, taking pictures and giving instructions to her team.
Somehow she was thankful that Taeyeon took her job seriously and professionally.
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Taeyeon had always been good at hiding her emotions, Tiffany thought. Too good.
She watched her approach Sunny before leaning in to whisper something. The defeated look on
Sunny’s face worried her, especially when Taeyeon gave the shorter girl a brief hug before
heading out of the reception.
“Hey, can you guys watch Juhyun for a bit?” She turned towards the couple.
“Sure, Tiff.”
“Thanks.”
Tiffany’s feet moved on their own as she found herself walking after Taeyeon, but the hand that
suddenly grabbed her stopped her from following.
“Tiffany.”
“Oppa, what are you doing here?” She pulled the man to the side before craning her head to
where Taeyeon walked off, a little disappointed that the latter was no longer there.
“Can we talk?”
“Not now, I need to look for Tae—“
“Come on, Tiff. I can’t stay here longer; I’m going back to LA tonight.”
Tiffany looked at him like he grew another head.
“What did you say?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “You’re going back... tonight?”
The man nodded and looked at her desperately.
“Please, Tiff... I really need you, I love you. I’m sorry, please give me another chance. I’ll make
it work this time...”
“So what, you expect me to just go back to LA with you? Tonight?”
“Tiffany, I—“
“You think it’s that easy?!”
Tiffany yelled and she was thankful that she was no longer in the reception area. Though she
couldn’t deny how the sight of him asking her for another chance made her heart swell,
everything he was saying right now was just plain ridiculous.
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“Did you even think about your daughter?! You never mentioned anything about her! You’re so
bent on getting me back but how about Juhyun?! Is she even in your plans?!”
“O-Of course, she’ll come with us too! We’ll figure it out. Just please, I need you back in my
life, Tiffany. I can’t live witho—“
“Can you hear yourself?! How can you treat your own daughter like she’s just some extra
baggage?!”
“N-No! I didn’t mean it like tha—“
“No, oppa,” Tiffany closed her eyes and breathed out shakily, “that’s exactly what you meant.
You love me, I know, and you want us to go back to what we were before but... There’s no way
we can ever be the same.”
Tiffany laid her hand gently on the man’s cheek and gave him an understanding look.
“My priorities have also changed now, oppa, and it can never be just about me, or you. I have a
daughter now, and I want to thank you for giving her to me, but,” she ran her thumb on his cheek
before dropping her hand to her side, “If I’m going to choose the person whom I’d spend the rest
of my life with, then that person should be someone who’d love my daughter as much as I do. Or
maybe even more.”
She tiptoed and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Goodbye, oppa, and I’m sorry. But please, don’t ever find me again.”
-----
Tiffany rushed in her flip flops, white dress flowing against the strong wind that seemed to have
picked up when she had finally decided on what to do with her life.
It was a little baffling on how the day started out beautifully, close to perfection, especially for
the wedding of her best friends, but now Tiffany couldn't say the same anymore.
She thought, maybe, that God or the heavens, or even nature, was smiting her now for all the
hurtful and selfish things she had done to Taeyeon, who did nothing but selflessly and
unconditionally love her even after everything.
Ironically, 'everything' didn't seem to be so great anymore. Because 'everything' that happened
was her fault, and now her 'everything' was on her way to leaving her.
To Taeyeon, she was her everything; she knew that.
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But Tiffany had pushed her too far away into pain and now she's close to having nothing.
She tried to fight the tears, her eyes now glassy and blurry from the moist, and it didn't help that
the wind had now become harsh, blowing more fiercely against her.
Though she felt a bit lighter from the closure she just had with her ex-boyfriend, it didn’t do
much to calm her racing heart. She did manage to close one chapter or her life, but it seems like
the most important one, the chapter that had barely started was also close to ending.
Reaching the hotel lobby with laboured breaths, she automatically made her way towards the
reception to ask about the wedding photographer.
"I'm sorry, Miss. She checked out just minutes ago," the receptionist confusedly replied, giving
the panicking girl a worried look. "Are you okay, Miss? May we get you water or anything to
dri—“
"N-No! I... I'm fine," Tiffany said with difficulty. "Can you just please tell me where she went?"
"Miss Kim asked for help in loading her luggage and equipment in her car. She might still be at
the parking lo—“
"Thanks!"
Tiffany didn't wait for the receptionist to finish as she bolted out again, now heading towards the
parking lot for hotel occupants.
She continued to run, feet burning and leg muscles stretching and Tiffany thought she had never
ran like that in her whole life. Even when she ran towards the man whom she loved genuinely at
that time, it was never hurried nor frantic like this.
She swallowed and breathed heavily as the air in her lungs continued to deplete, but despite the
poor condition she was in, the only thing in her mind right now was to reach Taeyeon in time.
It was indeed true, she had realized, that you'd only know what something or someone was worth
when you've lost them.
Or in her case, when you're about to lose them.
-----
"Taeyeon!"
The short girl closed her eyes and heaved a sigh as she continued to haul her luggage in the trunk
of her car, pretending that she didn't hear anything.
Back For Good

She wasn't numb as she thought she was though, and she hated and cursed herself for letting her
heart beat a little faster when she heard Tiffany's voice calling out to her.
"Where should I put this, Miss?"
The bell boy's voice broke her out of her thoughts and she looked at him apologetically.
"Just put that one on top of the blue hard case since it's not that heavy," she told him before being
answered with a polite nod.
"Kim Taeyeon! Wait!"
Piece by piece she organized the bags with the hotel help so that everything will fit in her car.
Taeyeon willed herself not to look back.
She was thankful that Sunny was understanding enough to take over everything, and since
Jessica and Yuri were pretty much more than satisfied with everyone’s efforts and works, they
had permitted her to go back to the city early. Though it wasn’t clear with the newlyweds what
had exactly happened to her and Tiffany, they had been gracious enough to let her go without
prying. Taeyeon couldn’t stay in that place anymore, and she think that it would take her a
handful of years before she can ever step foot on that shore again.
There were just too much heartache that happened in that beach, and every turn she did just
reminded her of everything.
“Where are you going?”
She heard Tiffany pant and wheeze beside her and she almost reached out to pat the latter’s back.
“None of your business,” she said as coldly as she could.
“The hell, it is!”
Everything happened so fast that Taeyeon didn’t even get the chance to react. Her eyes widened
as she saw her precious camera in Tiffany’s hand who was now a few steps away from her.
"Leave and I'll drop your camera."
Taeyeon threw the duffle in her hands harshly inside her car before turning to Tiffany, her
patience now wearing thin.
"What, breaking my heart wasn't enough for you so you're moving on to my equipment now?
Wow, are you really that bent on breaking everything I have?"
She saw Tiffany’s expression fall.
Back For Good

"I—“
"Just leave, Fany. Go back to the reception,” she said as she went back to stuffing her car with
her bags.
"Would you just let m—“
"What Tiffany?! Let you explain?! Let you apologize?!" Taeyeon was surprised to hear herself
scream. She felt herself tremble in anger and even that shocked her.
She laid her palms flat on the top of her car and leaned forward in frustration. Taeyeon didn’t
want to look at her because just a single trace of sadness on the other girl’s beautiful face would
make her come running back to her. She didn’t want that.
Not anymore.
"Aren't you sick and tired of everything that's happening to us?! Cause I am! I'm tired of
understanding you, of fighting for you! Four years ago we were supposed to get married but it
didn't happen cause you didn't want to be with me!” She finally looked at her as she harshly
banged her hand on her chest. It hurt and Taeyeon was sure that it would bruise, but the pain on
her skin was nothing compared to the pain she had inside her chest.
“And now four years later you showed up with a kid and asked me to take you back, which I
foolishly did cause I thought,” she said as her voice soften, "cause I thought that maybe... Maybe
this time you'd finally be mine."
Taeyeon turned around and leaned her back on her car. She covered her face with both of her
hands like it would stop her from crying. It was useless; her tears had finally seeped in between
her fingers.
"But no... Cause the moment he returned... Y-You... You just..." She looked at Tiffany
pleadingly. "I'm tired, Tiffany. Can't you see that?"
She didn’t care about her camera anymore, nor that Tiffany was finally in her personal space.
She was just too tired to think and feel.
"Taeyeon, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is happening because of me but I love you," Taeyeon
heard her say. "I love you. I know you don't believe me but I do..."
She tilted her head and looked directly Tiffany’s eyes. She knew that she’ll always love her but
she couldn’t be with her anymore.
And it hurt her to think of that.
"Just... Let me go, Tiffany. It's the least you can do for me."
Back For Good

"No, Taeyeon. I won't let you g—“
She would always admire her, like how she always did, especially her conviction and
perseverance.
‘But... It hurts too much...’
"I did the same thing for you before. Could you please just... Do the same thing for me? Just this
one thing, please?" Taeyeon begged. She’d even kneel if needed be.
"No. I can't lose you, not anymore. I refuse to. Taeyeon, please..."
It was like the heavens were watching them because suddenly it started to rain, drenching her
and Tiffany. It didn’t matter though, because her body had already been cold, especially when
she saw Tiffany in the arms of the same man who had taken her away four years ago.
"Please, Fany...” Taeyeon whispered.
She let the raindrops drown her tears as she cried freely. Taeyeon thought that love was enough
to make her stay, that it was powerful enough to eliminate all the pain.
She tilted her head down as she refused to look at Tiffany, because as much as she was hurting,
she still couldn’t deny the longing she feels whenever the other girl was near. It was crazy and
her emotions were all over the place but right now she just wanted to escape.
"Okay."
-----
"What...?"
Tiffany saw Taeyeon tilt her head in surprise and she wanted to chuckle at the other girl’s
surprised reaction.
"Okay, Taeyeon. I'll let you go,” she said, simply. She stared at her intently, waiting for her
response.
Taeyeon hesitated for a while, and she looked like she didn’t know what to do, but then she
wiped her cheeks before nodding.
"Goodby—“
The shorter girl turned and was about to open the door to her car when she spoke out loud,
Back For Good

forcing her voice to drown the sound of the raindrops hitting the pavement.
"But only after you've answered this one question."
Tiffany stood firm amidst the coldness that was starting to reach her bones. She felt her body
shiver under her thin dress but she didn’t care.
It was now or never.
"Do I make you happy?” She finally asked.
"What?" Taeyeon looked at her with wide eyes.
"Answer."
"Tiffany, I-I..."
She inwardly smiled, because Taeyeon stuttering was a good sign.
"Answer me, Taeyeon,” she said as she tried to push further. "Four years ago, I told you I wasn’t
happy anymore and you let me go. It was true that time and I'm sorry for that because it was my
fault for being unhappy and unsatisfied for something that I shouldn’t be." Tiffany walked closer
and instantly she felt the warmth that Taeyeon’s body was emitting. "Now, answer my question
Taeyeon. And I'll let you go if you say that you're unhappy with me."
She held her breath as she stared at the shorter girl, eyes pleading, expecting.
‘It’s my turn to bare my heart now, Taeyeon. So please...’
"I... I don’t know," the other girl whispered and Tiffany was surprised that she even heard the
small voice.
"Yes or no."
"..."
Tiffany took the chance and reached out for her, hands gently cradling the latter’s wet cheeks. It
hurt her to see Taeyeon like this, and the pain doubled when she had realized that everything was
because of her.
"I hate that it took me four years to finally realize what I've stupidly thrown away when I could
have had those four years filled with happiness with you. But I guess things needed to happen
too cause those years apart from you gave me Juhyun,” Tiffany said as smiled at the thought of
her daughter. “I just wish that you didn’t have to get hurt like that but it's my fault and I'm taking
all the blame for everything."
Back For Good

“Why are you doing this, Tiffany?...”
Taeyeon looked at her with a broken gaze and it made her feel stronger. It was her turn to take
care of the other, and she couldn’t let the other leave for her to be able to do just that.
"Because I love you and I want to be with you and I want to finally build this family with the
right person and if you're slow brain hadn't realized it yet, I'm choosing you Taeyeon."
Tiffany moved closer and leaned her forehead against hers. She can feel Taeyeon’s warm breath
hitting her cold lips and it made her want to kiss all the pain away.
"You, the person I was supposed to be with right from the start," she whispered, "and I'm sorry
but since I'm really selfish, I want you to be stuck with me until Juhyun decides to build her own
family, until we have grandkids, until we're on our deathbed."
And then she kissed her, gently, and Tiffany can only hope that Taeyeon would feel her
sincerity.
"I choose you, Kim Taeyeon. So please don't leave me..."
"...Cause now I'm back and I'm staying for good."
-----
Back For Good

-----
A small whimper broke out from Taeyeon’s lips and Tiffany panicked as it became louder and
louder.
"I'm broken, Tiffany..." She heard her whisper and suddenly she found herself engulfed in a very
tight hug.
She felt her sob on her shoulders and the hold on her waist tightened a little bit more. Tiffany
hugged her just as securely, because she can almost feel the latter's heart shattering, no matter
how farfetched it may be.
Taeyeon was indeed broken and there was no one else to blame but herself.
Tiffany pulled her closer, as close as humanly possible, yet she could still feel her slip away. Her
own tears started to mix with the rain and only now had she felt real fear.
She was losing Taeyeon and right now she wasn’t feeling confident anymore. She didn't know if
her words or even her heart or even her soul and body would be enough to make her stay.
"I-I... I can't love you anymore, Fany..." Taeyeon whispered but Tiffany swore she heard the
words being yelled in her head. "Not like this..."
Back For Good

"I’m broken a-and I’m tired and If y-you do love me... A-As much as you told me... Then please
let me go..."
Those words hit her and she felt winded. It was like her breath was sucked out from her and she
couldn't breathe. Her throat clogged and her chest hurt like her heart was going to explode soon.
“B-But—“
“Please let me go…”
Suddenly she was taken back to that day, four years ago, and now she had finally realized how
much it hurt to hear those words coming from the person you love.
Tiffany loosened her hold around her and the cold that the sudden rain had brought immediately
seeped in under her skin, towards her weakly beating heart. She felt the latter's hands hold her
cheeks before pulling her in for what would be their last kiss.
"I love you, Tiffany Hwang," she felt her utter against her lips, "please don't forget that."
Taeyeon hugged her one last time and it felt heavier than all of the embraces they’ve shared.
Reality was starting to sink in and Tiffany had no way of fighting it anymore.
She felt numb as she just let her arms hang limp on her sides.
“Promise me you won’t forget that...” The shorter girl kissed the shell of her ear softly and
whispered words that made her tear more.
Tiffany sobbed and nodded.
And she continued to do so until Taeyeon's car had disappeared from the road, until the rain had
stopped along with her tears.
She nodded because that was the only thing she could do.
'I promise.'
-----
Back For Good

A Prelude to the Epilogue
-----
"Promise me you won't forget that...

Because I want to be whole again for you, Fany. I'll come back for you... Wait for me..."
Taeyeon whispered in Tiffany's ear before she left her drenched under the rain.
'Please wait for me...'
-----
Back For Good

Epilogue
The sun’s afternoon rays felt warm against her skin and it made her smile. She had been out for a
good two hours now and though she can feel her body heat up from being out under the sun for
too long, the coldness of the breeze that was making her white dress flutter kept her cool and
refreshed.
Taeyeon closed her eyes and she smiled wider, because right now she couldn’t be any happier.
Everything seemed to look more beautiful to her, like how the sun shone brighter, or like how
the sea looked clearer, more enchanting.
She held and swung her flip flops beside her as she walked, enjoying the feel of the sand under
her bare feet. She let her toes dig deeper as she took her steps, and although she knew that she
was needed somewhere at that second, she took her time observing, feeling, living, everything
beautiful she had managed to come across.
It was a little new for her though, because right now, Taeyeon was in paradise yet she didn’t
have her camera with her. What a waste, she thought, as she passed by numerous scenarios that
would have been a perfect picture. Her hands itched as she passed them one by one, regretting
that she didn’t bring anything, not even her phone or a disposable point-and-shoot camera.
Taeyeon chuckled to herself as she decided to go back. She knew she’d be scolded for running
off without telling anyone, especially by her best friend who was probably more stressed than
anyone, but today was her day, their day, and she wouldn’t let anyone, even Sunny, spoil it.
The sun continued to dominate the skies as it boasted its magnificence, and it still amazed
Taeyeon how such beauty existed. Everything around her sparkled with life, and somehow she
missed the feeling of being surrounded by nature. Being gone for two years had done so much
for her, especially for her heart, and she had experienced firsthand how travelling to new places
and trying new things had revived her. Taeyeon felt like a new person when she went back, but
no matter how many new things she had gained, new insights or maybe a few new habits or two,
she still had her old heart.
Old and filled with scars, yet healed and ready to beat again for two.
Taeyeon’s heart was now again whole.
She stopped walking when the sight of meticulously arranged rows of chairs greeted her, and she
chuckled when she saw Sunny and Jessica yelling out continuous bouts of orders and instructions
to a lot of scared looking hotel employees, with a very worried Yuri holding a crying toddler at
the side.
Taeyeon then saw her best friend pull out a phone from her purse, jabbing on the device screen
mercilessly before putting it against her ear. She observed her do the same thing twice before
seeing her give up with a frustrated sigh. It was amusing for her to see the usually cool girl lose
Back For Good

her patience and she was close to laughing out loud when she saw the shorter girl mouthed ‘I will
kill that midget when I see her’ to Jessica.
She gulped and changed her destination. It was indeed her day, but she knew her best friend well
enough to steer clear away from her when she’s mad. She wouldn’t want to sport a nasty bruise
on her face when she says ‘I do’ to her.
-----
The sound of a phone ringing tore her attention away from the mirror and onto the device that
was furiously vibrating on the night stand. She reached out for it but her instincts were telling her
not to answer, especially when she saw Sunny’s name flashing ominously on the screen.
Tiffany pondered for a while before leaving the phone alone, since it wasn’t really hers and it
was rude to invade privacy. Even though privacy was pretty much out of the question with them
now, she still wanted to respect her space, even if the other had always insisted that what was
hers will also belong to her.
She brought her attention back to the mirror and she smiled at what she saw. Tiffany wasn’t
being conceited or vain, it was nothing like that, but she was happy to see herself happy. She felt
like it had been too long since she had felt genuine happiness, and now that it’s near and was
practically back at her doorstep, she had finally felt the indescribable feeling that it brought, right
from her heart and down to her fingers and toes, and even at the ends of her hair.
Tiffany ran her hand on the front of her wedding dress and fixed the creases. It was just a simple
white strapless dress that pooled at her feet yet it made her feel like she was wearing the most
expensive gown ever made. She remembered how her previous wedding gown weighed so
heavy, that with each step she took she felt more burdened than happy.
So much had happened and she had been through a lot these past few years but now she’s ready
to take on the coming ones because now she wouldn’t be alone. She had abandoned, had been
deserted and had struggled, but all of those had been worth it.
Because nothing was more worth it than something you’ve fought and suffered for.
Tiffany sighed, but the smile that followed made her believe that it would be perfect this time,
because right now her heart was no longer carrying the weight of the world. It was now carrying
the love of two people, but unlike before, her heart now rightfully belonged to Taeyeon and her
daughter.
Knock, knock.
She heard the gentle rapping on the door and Tiffany turned away from the mirror, just in time as
the door opened.
Back For Good

-----
Taeyeon pushed the door open, gently, and was greeted by a sight that made her heart skip a
beat.
She felt her mouth hang open and her whole body turned cold as she stared at Tiffany who was
looking at her with the most beautiful smile she had ever seen the girl make.
It was surreal, the way she stood there with the sun highlighting her from the back, making her
silhouette look ethereal. The wedding dress she was wearing was nothing but perfect, and it
hugged every curve and plane of her fiancée’s body delicately. Her fringe was swept on one side,
just like how Taeyeon preferred it, and her slightly curled hair framed her face perfectly. The
light makeup she had on did nothing to enhance her already gorgeous features and Taeyeon felt
like crying right then and there.
Tiffany looked heavenly, and it was unbelievable that after everything that had happened, she
was finally going to marry her.
“H-Hi.”
Taeyeon blushed as she stuttered, feeling like a boy who had been caught staring at his crush.
“Hey, what are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here,” she heard Tiffany say before
chuckling and Taeyeon swooned at the husky laugh.
“I-I know... I just wanted to s-see you...”
She knew how much her unusual shyness was amusing Tiffany right now because the crescent-
shaped smiling eyes were in full bloom and the other girl’s grin was now threatening to split her
face in half.
“Come here,” she heard her beckon for her.
She walked towards her apprehensively, her head hung low and her fingers fidgeted with each
other. Taeyeon felt her heart swell with every step and as she felt the other girl’s hand caressing
her cheek, every fibre of her being screamed for joy.
“Hey, you okay?”
The worried voice filled her ears and finally she looked at her. She was beautiful.
Tiffany was beautiful.
Taeyeon nodded as she pulled Tiffany by the waist, enveloping the latter in a hug. She didn’t
Back For Good

care if both of their dresses wrinkle at the contact because right now, she just wanted to have her
in her arms just so she could tell herself that it’s real.
That she was there, at that very moment, with Tiffany.
And that they were only minutes away from being finally bounded. For real this time.
She revelled in the scent that she’d never get tired of and relished in the warmth that Tiffany
seem to always exude. Taeyeon can feel her heart beating faster and it made her smile when she
felt the other’s heart doing the same.
“Taeyeon?”
“Hmm?” She hummed against Tiffany’s smooth neck before giving it a soft peck.
Taeyeon smiled as Tiffany giggled, her lips curved upwards against the latter’s cheek as she gave
her a kiss there.
“What’s wrong?”
“This is real, right? This is really happening?”
She felt her fiancée’s hand cup her cheeks lovingly before giving her a kiss on her forehead, then
on her nose and finally on her waiting lips.
“Yes,” Tiffany whispered against her moist ones, “you’re marrying me, right now, whether you
like it or not, Kim Taeyeon.”
“I said yes, didn’t I?” Taeyeon said as she gestured for the engagement ring on her finger.
She smiled widely at Tiffany, holding in an impending laugh that the latter didn’t miss.
“Tsk! Can you just let it go?!” Her fiancée scolded her with a smack on her shoulder before
walking back towards the mirror in mock anger.
“I-I’m... I’m sorry, F-Fany,” Taeyeon struggled to say as bouts of unladylike laughs shook her
petite form. “I... I just,” she snorted, “I still c-couldn’t believe that you really pulled s-something
like that.”
Her laughter died down to chuckles especially when Tiffany started to pout, and she couldn’t
help but reach out to her again, locking her in a back hug. Taeyeon rested her chin on the other
girl’s shoulder and she breathed in, filling her senses with Tiffany’s delectable scent.
It made her feel at home.
“Thank you,” she whispered on her ear, “for initiating, for proposing,” she held her tighter, “and
Back For Good

for waiting.”
She felt her turn in her arms and she let her.
Taeyeon looked at her straight in the eyes as she was locked in Tiffany’s embrace.
“I didn’t want to break any more promises,” Tiffany kissed her, “I love you. I can’t wait to marry
you.” She kissed her again, slowly, tugging on her lips ever so gently.
“Fany... We have a wedding to attend...”
“Can we just skip the ceremony?”
She saw Tiffany sulk as she reluctantly released her, and the childish display made her chuckle.
“I’ve waited for nine years for this to happen, so no. We’re doing this. Now.”
“Fine,” Tiffany said as she playfully pouted.
“You’re cute,” Taeyeon said before stealing a peck, “now let’s go.”
She held her hand firmly in hers, interlacing their fingers like a perfectly fitted knot. Tiffany
smiled at her widely as she looked at her and it made her smile back.
Tiffany’s happy. She’s happy.
-----
Tiffany followed Taeyeon’s pull as they stepped outside the hotel, and the view that greeted her
made her jaw drop.
The sun was still shining ever so brightly, but the clouds that framed it made the rays glow
softer, and it made the weather a lot cooler. The breeze continued to blow lightly, just enough for
her long dress to flutter, and Tiffany felt like her life would now turn for the better.
Everything felt right and her heart no longer held burden.
And finally, she can now say that today is a perfect day for a wedding; the perfect day for their
wedding.
“Kim Taeyeon!”
She almost bumped into Taeyeon as the latter stopped abruptly before scurrying to hide behind
her. Tiffany laughed as she saw Sunny rushing angrily towards them, eyebrows drawn together,
Back For Good

her full lips drawn into a menacing scowl.
“Where have you been?! I’ve called you a million times, why weren’t you answering?!”
Sunny hissed at her fiancée and she watched amusingly as the shorter girl was trying to reach
behind her with her hand in fist, trying to knock at Taeyeon’s head.
“H-Hey! Stop it, Soonkyu! It’s my wedding day, stop it!” She heard Taeyeon say as she tried to
smack her best friend’s hand away.
“Stop calling me Soonkyu and I don’t care even if it’s your hundredth birthday! You’re giving
me stress lines! I thought you ran off or something!”
Tiffany felt a pair of arms cease her from behind and she smiled as Taeyeon held her closer.
“No,” Taeyeon said softly, “I just went to fetch my wife.”
She tilted her head to the side to look at Taeyeon and Tiffany felt her heart swell for the nth time
that day. She had never imagined how a simple word could make her feel so elated, like she was
skipping on clouds, and right now she could drown in the sea in front of them and she’d still be
happy.
Tiffany gave her attention back to Sunny and was surprised to see the latter smiling sweetly. She
knew how the shorter girl had stuck through everything with them, especially when Taeyeon left
after her best friends’ wedding, and she couldn’t be more thankful for her presence. Sunny held
them together, and she also owed this day to her.
“Taetae! Mommy!”
Instantly she felt the arms around her disappear before seeing Taeyeon lunge forward to catch
her hyper daughter.
“Hi, baby, did you miss Taetae?” she heard Taeyeon coo at Juhyun before giving her sniff kisses.
“Yes! Where were you?”
Tiffany chuckled at her daughter crossing her arms; she’s just like her.
“I went to get your mommy, of course! See?” Taeyeon gestured towards her and smiled.
“Look at what you’re doing to my daughter,” Tiffany crossed her arms and pouted, mirroring
Juhyun, “she calls to you first now before her own mother!”
“I’ll be her mom, too. Very soon,” she heard the short girl say as she kissed the giggling Juhyun
on the cheeks.
Back For Good

Tiffany smiled because that’s the only thing she could do. Her heart was close to bursting and
she didn’t want to die before saying ‘I do’, properly this time.
“Hey Taeng, it’s time. We need you there at the fron—”
“Oh, about that,” she saw Taeyeon place Juhyun back at the ground before pulling Sunny away.
She furrowed her eyebrows but Juhyun’s small hands reaching for her own kept her preoccupied.
Tiffany saw the two talking and Sunny’s confused face made her nervous, but Taeyeon’s shy
smile somehow made it go away. She had no idea what was happening, and frankly she didn’t
like being in the dark.
To her defense, it was her wedding day, and she deserved to know everything, especially when it
concerns Taeyeon.
The two went back not long after and she couldn’t read the short girl’s expression.
[Soundtrack#2]
“What are you doing, Tae? Aren’t you supposed to follow Sunny?”
“Uhm... I-I...” Taeyeon stuttered. “I mean, c-can we do this together?”
“What do you mean?” Tiffany furrowed her eyebrows.
“I mean,” she saw Taeyeon run her slightly shaking hand through her hair, “we’ve been through
so much and I just don’t think it would feel right for me to just wait for you there at the front.”
The short girl held both of her hands and she felt the warmth spread from her palms to the rest of
her body. “I want to be with you every step of the way, Fany, starting now.”
Tiffany smiled widely and she couldn’t prevent her tears from falling.
“I want you to feel that you’ll have me with you, holding your hand through everything, whether
you’re happy, sad, scared... hurting. I want to be with you till the end.”
The sincerity in Taeyeon’s voice shook her down to her core, and somehow, she felt that
everything that had happened had all been worth it. All the pain, the tears, the frustrations, and
all the waiting had all paved the way for this to happen.
Because this day wouldn’t feel this sweeter, this perfect, when everything had all been so easy to
grasp.
“So, may I take you there?”
Back For Good

She can feel Taeyeon’s hands hold on tighter and it made her look at the other intently. Taeyeon
looked back at her lovingly, her brown orbs seeking for permission.
“I—“
“Say yes, mommy!”
The two chuckled as they have seemed to forgot the little girl’s presence. Taeyeon bent down to
kiss Juhyun’s cheek before lifting the kid in her arms.
Tiffany looked at Taeyeon and her daughter and nodded. She let her tears flow freely now, and
she didn’t care if it was ruining her makeup. She felt her cheeks hurt from smiling too much and
she literally couldn’t see through her eye smile anymore.
Tiffany’s family was now complete.
Taeyeon shifted Juhyun in her arms and took her hand, interlacing their fingers automatically.
“Ready?” The short girl grinned at her as she took her towards the white cloth that was
separating them from the guests and the whole setting.
“Ready.” Tiffany nodded and smiled even wider.
“No more running away?” A nervous yet playful chuckle.
A light pinch. “Only if you don’t run away too.”
“I won’t. Because now you’ll finally be mine, for good.”
Tiffany nodded as she gave Taeyeon and Juhyun a kiss on their foreheads, before going through
the white cloth hand in hand, ready to face anything and everything that will come to their
family.
‘Together. For good.’
The End
Back For Good


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BACK FOR GOOD

a TaeNy Fan Fiction written by Stephan

“Please… Please stay with me…”

Another morning, another day.

“Good morning, Taeng.”

“Just called to remind you of your appointment with Ms. Kwon.”

“Ah, Miss Yuri Kwon, right?”

Back For Good

“Okay, thanks Sunny. I’ll see you in a few. Bye.”

“See ya, buddy.”

‘Wherever you are right now... I hope you’re happy.’

“Anyway, what can I do for you, Ms. Kwon?”

“Please, just call me Yuri.”

Back For Good

“Taeyeon. Just call me Taeyeon.”

“Oh, I understand. Are you okay, Taeyeon-ssi?”

“It will be three months from now, on the 21st.”

“I’m really sor—“

“Taeng, Ms. Park on line 2.”

Back For Good

“I miss her so much, Sunny.” Taeyeon said softly.

“I know. I miss her too.”

Taeyeon looked at Sunny and smiled.

Smile. The only thing she can do.

Back For Good

Back For Good

“You… You can’t make me happy, Taeyeon. Please let me go…”

“How long have you been a wedding photographer, Taeyeon-ssi?”

“Four years now.”

She had decided to just let go of everything and start fresh.

“It reminds me of something I can never have.”

Back For Good

‘The most beautiful girl in the world, huh?’

“Taeyeon-ssi, this is my fiancée, Jessica Jung.”

Back For Good

Back For Good

“Are you sure about this? Taeng?”

“Want me to go with you?”

Back For Good

“Hey, you made it!”

‘I think Sunny’s right. This project is suicide…’

Back For Good

“Excuse me, Ms. Kwon!”

Yuri frowned at the manager.

“It’s no problem. Thank you.”

Back For Good

“Good news. Shoot.”

“But, you have to share it with the maid of honour.”

“I’d love to have a kid with you someday.”

Back For Good

Back For Good

“I’m sorry, Taeyeon. I… I can’t marry you.”

“Juhyun’s really grown now, hasn’t she?”

“You’re welcome. Oh, have you seen your new roommate?”

“No, she wasn’t there when we settled in—“

Back For Good

Four years late, to be exact.

“Seobang, where’s Tae—“

“You guys know each other—“

Back For Good

Taeyeon didn’t know what to feel.

She also had a call to make.

“Jessi, where did you find her?!”