Module for Remediation in Thesis Writing

Definition of terms:

Source or Literature-any research study that you have read. The contents of this study is somehow
related or potential concepts for your research either for quoted or paraphrased contents.

How to write the Introduction

Individually….

 Step 1. Gather Related Literature (Different sources: research studies, blog articles, thesis or
dissertation studies, etc.) (Output: Submitted as project last grading period)

 Step 2: Read and highlight important parts (Definition and/or explanation of important terms
or concepts, findings and interpretation of other researches cited in your source or literature,
findings and interpretation of the research of your own source).( Research output number 1)

As a group….

 Step3: Read and share the quoted portions of your source to the other members of your group.
Brainstorm how you are going to organize all the information that you have shared to one
another. Use a concept map (research output number 2) to organize and make connections to
each piece of information shared. Then organize the information in your concept map in an
outline (research output number 3).

Example of concept map:

Research title of this concept map:

Social conditions of becoming homelessness: qualitative analysis of life stories of homeless people

Example of an outline from the concept map:

Topic: Social conditions of becoming homelessness: qualitative analysis of life stories of homeless
people

I. Homelessness

A. Families
1. Children
2. Pets
B. Teens
1. Causes
a. Drug abuse
b. Running away
C. Veterans
1. The Disabled
2. The victims of PSTD
D. Women
1.Causes or Risks
a. Mental Health
b. Unemployment

 Step 4: From the highlighted parts of your source, decide which to quote and which to
paraphrase. (Research output number 4 in a one half crosswise copy the part you want to use
as direct quote. Make sure you use the correct in-text citation format and the correct writing of
the entry in your reference list). Remember that quotes should be parts of your source that
came from experts in the field. Make sure that when you decide to quote it means that the
original statement is important that paraphrasing it loses its essential meaning. It can not be
expressed in any other way except how it was stated by the original author. Select only one to
quote. Group of words that are less than 40 should be enclosed in the sentence itself. Those
that exceed 40 should be in a block format. Study the following examples. The highlighted
portion is from a source to be quoted for an introduction of a study that explores the eating
habits of junior high school students.
In text citation through direct quote of 40 words or less:

1. According to Deshpande, Basil, and Basil (2009), “Poor eating habits are an important public
health issue that has large health and economic implications” (p.145).
2. Deshpande, Basil, and Basil (2009) said that, “Poor eating habits are an important public health
issue that has large health and economic implications” (p.145).
3. “Poor eating habits are an important public health issue that has large health and economic
implications”, (Deshpande, Basil & Basil, 2009, p.145).

Synonyms for the word SAID:

Mentioned, discussed, affirmed, formulated, phrased, described, stated, summarized, wrote,

claimed, hypothesized, deduced, concluded, theorized, posit, refute, reject, disprove, disagree,
agree, question, etc.

The use of any of these synonyms as a replacement for the word “SAID” is a case to case basis.
Be careful in using synonyms.
To make an entry of this to the REFERENCE List section of the research paper:

REFERENCE

Deshpande, S., Basil, M. D., & Basil, D. Z. (2009). Factors influencing healthy eating habits among
college students. Health Marketing Quarterly, 26, 145-164. DOI:
10.1080/07359680802619834

For citation of words that exceed 40 words, study the example below about a research on how Filipino
college students write an essay:
 Successful writing is a melting pot of several factors. This is supported by Gustilo’s
(2013) study on second language writing:

However, it must be noted that not all the respondents acknowledged that writing
background had an effect on the success of their present writing performance--a result
which was gleaned from the interview with the respondents. Some claim that even if
they had poor writing background, they still obtained a high score in their diagnostic
essay. This finding is understandable since writing success is an amalgamation of
complex factors and cannot be attributed to writing background alone. (pp. 12)
To make an entry of this to the REFERENCE List section of the research paper:

REFERENCE

Gustilo, L. E. (2013). An analysis of writer’s performance, resources, and idea generation

processes: the case of Filipino engineering students. Language Testing in Asia,
3(2), 1-14, DOI: 10.1186/2229-0443-3-2

Please study more examples from APA 6th Ed. Book.

When citing a secondary source, please study the following example:
HOW TO QUOTE A SECONDARY SOURCE

In this example, Gustilo (2013)’s primary source is Flower and Hayes (1980). If you are going to quote
the highlighted portion from Gustilo’s (2013) research, this is considered citing from secondary source.
Study how it is done. This is a combination of paraphrased and direct quoted words.

As cited by Gustilo (2013), Flower and Hayes differentiated good from poor writers.
The first, as showing proficiency in tackling problems in writing, the latter reacts to “features
and conventions of a written text” (p.1).

 Step 5: Paraphrase the remaining highlighted words in your source.

Here are some examples to help you recognize the difference between correct summarizing and
summarizing that is plagiarised. Read them over and see if which version is the correct one and why.
Original:

From Bliss, Michael. The Discovery of Insulin. Toronto: McClelland & Stewart, 1982.

Chapter 8, Section I, Paragraph 1, Page 190:

Most medical people despised the press, holding attitudes not totally unfamiliar today.
Reporters tended to be suckers for every quack, half-quack, over-eager scientist, or naive country doctor
who thought he had a serum to cure tuberculosis, a herbal remedy for cancer, or a new surgical
procedure to rejuvenate the aged. When the newspapers were not wasting space on undeserving
medical stories, they were over-playing legitimate news, getting their facts wrong, and generally making
a nuisance of themselves interfering in the lives and practices of busy professionals. Doctors' deep
suspicion of what they read in the newspapers and even in the less-carefully edited of the medical
journals, helps to explain some of the early skepticism about insulin in countries like Britain: Oh, the
Americans are always curing everything; this week it's diabetes. Even in Canada and the United States
it was some months before there was enough confirmation of the unlikely news from Toronto to
convince wire services and the more skeptical doctors and editors that insulin was, indeed, the real
thing.

Version 1:

Most medical people hated the press, because reporters tended to believe every over-eager
scientist or naive country doctor who thought he had a cure for something. Newspapers often over-
played legitimate news, got their facts wrong, and interfered in the lives and practices of busy
professionals. Doctors became deeply suspicious of what they read in the newspapers and less-carefully
edited medical journals, therefore were skeptical about insulin in countries like Britain because it
seemed the Americans were always curing everything.

Version 1 = Plagiarized: The student has attempted to disguise the fact that most of the words and all
of the ideas in this passage have been copied directly from the original by altering verb forms and
changing the original order of the ideas. There is no citation. The underlined words are the ones that
were plagiarized.

Version 2:

Most medical people hated the press, because reporters tended to believe every "over-eager
scientist or naive country doctor" (p. 190) who thought he had a cure for something.
Newspapers often over-played legitimate news, got their facts wrong, and interfered "in the
lives and practices of busy professionals" (p. 190). Doctors became deeply suspicious of what
they read in the newspapers and less-carefully edited medical journals, therefore were
skeptical about insulin in countries like Britain because it seemed the Americans were "always
curing everything" (p. 190).
Version 2 = Plagiarized: This version is much the same as #1, but is an attempt to mislead
the reader to believe that the student is honestly citing the original by quoting from the
original (with a page reference), while the rest of the of the text is largely plagiarized.

VERSION 3
McClelland and Stewart (1982) posit that insulin as a treatment for diabetes was not widely
accepted as "the real thing" (p. 190) by the medical profession for many months after "the
unlikely news from Toronto" (p. 190). Doctors had become skeptical about the legitimacy of
medical discoveries as reported both by newspapers, which tended to waste space on
"undeserving medical stories" (p. 190), and by some less professional medical journals.

Version 3 = Paraphrase + Quotes: This version is acceptable from a plagiarism standpoint,

but the passages the student chose to quote from are not suitable. Quote only when the
statement is by an acknowledged expert in the field or could not be phrased in a better or
more succinct way. Otherwise, paraphrasing the idea is better. Note that the passages chosen
for quotation here are banal and not important.

Version 4:

According to McClelland and Stewart (1982), insulin as a treatment for diabetes was not widely
accepted for many months because doctors had become skeptical about the legitimacy of
medical discoveries as reported both by newspapers and by some less professional medical
journals.

Version 4 = Summary paraphrase: This is an acceptable summary. The source is correctly

acknowledged and the paraphrasing is not haphazardly done.

 Step 6: Organize all quotes and paraphrased materials according to your outline. Make sure
that you do not just quote and paraphrase only. You also have to add your insights to your
introduction. After all, the introduction is supposed to contain the review of literature. Hence,
you are supposed to analyze and synthesize all important information in your literature. Do
this by stating definition, telling the history, describing through figures and facts, comparing
and contrasting findings of all researches you have gathered. Lump together those researches
whose findings are the same. Put all together those researches whose findings are different
from the norm.

 Step 7: Make sure that in the last paragraph, you state the purpose of your research by
addressing the GAP in your study of the related literature:

For example, in the research “An analysis of the related literature on collaborative writing”,
the researcher discovers that in most collaborative writing activity researches, the participants
in the study are tertiary (college) students. (Gap in Literature)
 Purpose of the study:
Most investigations done about collaborative writing are done on college students. Very few
are done on junior high school and elementary level. This research therefore aims to address
the gap of having few collaborative writing researches where the participants are junior high
school students.

 Step8: Follow through with your research questions:

For example:

This study seeks to determine the relation (if any) between language-related episodes

(LRE) in collaborative writing activity and the quality of the essay produced by grade 10 students

in a public junior high school. Specifically, it will answer the following questions:

1. What language-related episodes (LREs) are evident in collaborative activities?

2. What language-related episodes (LREs) are reflected in the students’ CW essays?

3. What is the quality of persuasive essays which used the most and the least number

of language-related episodes (LREs)?