THINKING ON YOUR FEET

WRITTEN BY: ANTHONY LINDAN

Introduction
Here is Anthony Lindan’s corporate presentation of the Smart Ass routine. His approach is based on a challenge to
his audiences that during the course of the thousands of decisions they have to make every day, they constantly have
to think on their feet. Several of these spur-of-the-moment decisions are made without a lot of information or
research behind them to rely upon.

Props & Set-Up

Smart Ass deck in my left inside jacket pocket.
Jumbo Card is in a 5” x 9” opaque envelope and is placed in the same inside jacket pocket.

The Routine (script lines are in italics, physical actions and descriptions are in bold type)
Performer: I need a helper. Someone who is quick thinker on his feet. I guess that excludes senior management!
(OBVIOUSLY THIS LINE SHOULD BE TAILORED TO THE AUDIENCE YOUR PERFORMING FOR.)

AUDIENCE VOLUNTEER IS BROUGHT TO THE STAGE.

Performer: Thank you for helping. What is your name?

Participant: Tom.

Performer: Tom, what exactly do you do?

Participant: (PARTICIPANT RESPONDS ACCORDINGLY)

Performer: Tom everyday we make hundreds of decisions often on tight time lines and without full information. In
other words, we have to think on our feet and think quickly.

REMOVE ENVELOPE FROM INSIDE JACKET POCKET AND DROP IT ON THE FLOOR DIRECTLY IN FRONT
OF THE PARTICIPANT.

Performer: Tom inside this envelope is a target. Please stand on it.

PARTICIPANT STANDS ON THE ENVELOPE.

Performer: Have you ever heard the saying, “When the body stands up the brain sits down”? Well, we’re going to
put that to the test.

REMOVE DECK OF CARDS FROM INSIDE POCKET, TAKE THEM OUT OF THE CASE AND HAND THEM TO
THE PARTICIPANT.

Performer: We’ll use a deck of cards. Please take a look at them and mix them up.

HAND THE CARDS TO THE PARTICIPANT.

Performer: Please divide them in half and place a half in each hand and holds your hands like this.

PERFORMER HOLDS HIS HANDS AT WAIST HEIGHT AND PALM UP TO DEMONSTRATE - THE PARTICIPANT
COMPLIES DIVIDING THE CARDS AND HOLDING HALF IN EACH HAND.

Performer: Tom I need you to make a snap decision. When I snap my fingers I’d like you to eliminate one half of the
cards by throwing them over your shoulder. Do you understand?

Participant: Yes.

1
Performer: Ok, here we go.

PERFORMER SNAPS HIS FINGERS. PARTICIPANTS DECIDES AND TOSSES THE CARDS IN ONE HAND
OVER HIS SHOULDER.

Performer: Excellent Tom. No hesitation at all. Divide your cards in half again and hold a half in each hand like
before.

THE PARTICIPANT DIVIDES THE CARDS AGAIN, HOLDING HALF IN EACH HAND.

Performer: Again, when I snap my fingers I’d like you to eliminate one half of the cards by throwing them over your
shoulder. Ready?

PERFORMER SNAPS HIS FINGERS. HELPER DECIDES AND TOSSES THE CARDS IN ONE HAND OVER HIS
SHOULDER.

Performer: Your good at this snap decision stuff. If you are not careful, you could find yourself on a committee!
(PAUSE FOR LAUGH)

Performer: Tom you only have a few cards left.

PERFORMER RETRIEVES THE REMAINING CARDS AND FANS THEM BACK UPWARDS.

Performer: So just put your finger on one of them. This is really important. Please keep your finger on your card.

PERFORMER CUTS THE SELECTED CARD TO THE TOP, DOES THE SEPARATION AND HANDS IT TO THE
PARTICIPANT.

Performer: The card I am giving you is the card you touched right? Your finger has not left contact with your card
correct?

Participant: Right.

Performer: Tom let’s see the results of your quick thinking. Please show your card to the audience. (SPECTATOR
SHOWS CARD TO AUDIENCE.) The Seven of Clubs. Let’s check the target and see how well you did...

PARTICIPANT STEPS OFF THE ENVELOPE, PICKS IT UP AND REMOVES THE JUMBO CARD.

Performer: Don’t show it to the audience just yet. Just take a look at it yourself.

PARTICIPANT LOOKS AT JUMBO CARD AND REACTS.

Performer: Now please show it to the audience.

PARTICIPANT SHOWS THE JUMBO CARD AND THE REGULAR CARD TO BE AN EXACT MATCH.

Performer: Incredible! Tom hit the target! Let’s have a big hand for Tom. He’s made more decisions in 5 minutes
than some departments make in a week! Tom, please sit down, get off your feet and give your brain a rest.

PARTICIPANT IS THANKED AND ESCORTED OFF STAGE

THE END