Contents

44

8 March 2020
Fashion
4 Get this! The things
8 Focus
Gorgeous accessories vying to they say...
take centre stage
10 Fash forward
“Education is the best
Spice up your wardrobe with the provision for old age”
latest trends for spring Aristotle
(384BC-322BC)
Lifestyle
30 A feast for the senses
Hit the foodie trail and take in the
sights in captivating Girona
38 Victoria’s best
Victoria Gray picks tropical treats
in subtle hues
40 Interiors
Lighten up your home with
something pale and interesting
44 Food
Beautiful botanicals to transform
your menu
49 Wine
Jamie Goode sips the finest
tipples from the Loire Valley
50 Gardens
Alan Titchmarsh plants pots of
gold for a pretty spring display
10 40
People 57 My favourite photo 32 A switch in time 55 Fiction
22 Life as I know it Matt Monro’s daughter Michele How to cope with major changes A story by novelist Nuala Ellwood
With TV presenter Gok Wan shares a treasured snapshot in your life 59-74 Switch on
24 Worlds apart 34 Total recall The week on TV and radio
As a new Miss World movie is The secret to remembering facts 75 Mindy Hammond
released, 1970 winner Jennifer Regulars and figures – the method of loci It’s blowing a gale and the ponies
Hosten reveals the racism and 7 First look 36 Agony aunt are getting up to horseplay...
sexism behind the scenes 18-21 Beauty By Jane O’Gorman and 77 Stars
28 Puppy love What’s in store at the make-up Dr Rosemary Leonard Russell Grant predicts your week
Meet the inspiring vet who counters this season? We put 52 Read all about it 78 The £1,000 crossword
rescues stray dogs in Sri Lanka leading brands to the test The latest page-turners, reviewed Pit your wits against our prize puzzle

On the cover: Nikki wears: Green dress,

Editor Margaret Hussey Art Director Greg Anderson Assistant Editor Graham Bailey Supplements Picture Editor Karen Vowles Picture Editor Sarah White
£39, Topshop (topshop.com); earrings,
Production Editor Jan Brierley Lifestyle Director Victoria Gray Group Fashion & Beauty Director Michelle Darlow Fashion Director Rivkie Baum £10, River Island (riverisland.com)
Fashion Editors Harriet Wheeler, Lauren Goodwin-Grafton Fashion Stylists/Writers Megan Rees, Katy Gale, Sophie Goodwin, Scott Wells Maria wears: Dress, £325, Rixo
Beauty Director Lynne Hyland Beauty Editor Laura Mulley Beauty Stylist/Writer Zoe Cripps Senior Feature Writer Kirsten Jones Literary Editor (rixo.co.uk)
Charlotte Heathcote Chief Sub Editor Jennifer Wignall Sub Editors Bridget Rowan, Catrina Walker, Mia Bolton This page: Trench coats, both £995,
Daks (daks.com)
S Magazine, Second Floor, Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN.

Follow us on Twitter @SMagazineUK and on Instagram @smagazineuk or email magmail@express.co.uk

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 3

 Get this!
There’s something

AT YOUR
SERVICE
g for everyy budget
g in this week’s must-have selection Compiled by Sophie Goodwin

Turquoise
12-piece
crackle glaze
dinner set,
£79, Made GLOSS OVER
(made.com) By The
Sea body polish,
£8, Heathcote RISE AND SHINE
& Ivory Bodyclock Spark 100 Wake Up
(heathcote-ivory. to Daylight SAD light, £79, Lumie
com) at John Lewis (johnlewis.com)

SAVING FACE
Prevage
Anti-Ageing +
Intensive
Repair Daily
Serum, £170,
Elizabeth
Arden
(elizabeth
arden.co.uk) GOLDEN HOUR
Elegant edition refined rose- SCRUB UP WELL
gold watch, £229, Huawei The Mio Body Brush, £14.50,
(consumer.huawei.com) Mio Skincare (mioskincare.com)

PEDAL POWER
Exercise bike, £2,450,
Technogym (technogym.com)

TWINKLE TOES LET’S STICK TOGETHER

Metal and velvet upholstered Hypoallergenic organic plasters
footstool, £89, Cult Furniture HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL tube set, £6.99, Patch Strips
(cultfurniture.com) Monkey lamp, £50, Very (very.co.uk) (patchstrips.com)

4 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 SHEER DROP
Camille pearl
pendant
necklace,
£150, Drajée
(drajee.com)

THE BEES KNEES

Gold lucky bee sleeper earrings, SCREEN TIME
£50, Olivia Burton (oliviaburton.com) Smart 24-inch LED TV, £149, Polaroid at Asda (asda.com)

IN MINT CONDITION
CUSHY LIFE SHOW YOUR STRIPES Oversize clutch bag
Multicoloured pompom cushion, Red stripe jumper, £55, in mint, £129, Bell & Fox
£12, Matalan (matalan.co.uk) White Stuff (whitestuff.com) (bellandfox.com)

PERFECT SCENTS
Ceramic-footed
FUNNY FACES candle, £19.50,
Why The Long Face mug set, Oliver Bonas
£26, Red Candy (redcandy.co.uk) (oliverbonas.com)

CUTE AS A BUTTON
Metallic bronze button boots,
£800, Stivaleria Cavallin
(available in boutique and
at stivaleriacavallin.com)
MAKE A CLEAN SWEEP
Anti Hair Wrap Cordless Stick JEWEL PURPOSE
vacuum cleaner, £379.99, Shark Jewellery travel cases, £85 (small); £120 (large)
Clean (sharkclean.co.uk) with monogramming, Missoma (missoma.com)

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 5

1&2 bedroom
apartments
to rent or buy
ENGLAND BEDS Bedford BERKS
Crowthorne, Maidenhead, Twyford
BRISTOL Charlton Hayes, Hanham
BUCKS Amersham, Chalfont St Peter,
Farnham Common, Hazlemere CAMBS
Peterborough CHESHIRE Alsager,
Audlem CORNWALL Bude, Carlyon Bay
CTY DURHAM Darlington CUMBRIA
Cockermouth DEVON Exeter, Ottery
St. Mary DORSET Poole, Poundbury
E. YORKS Beverley, Bridlington,
Brough, Pocklington, Swanland
ESSEX Chelmsford, Colchester GLOS
Bourton-on-the-Water, Gloucester,
Moreton-in-Marsh, Stow-on-the-Wold
GTR LONDON Upper Norwood GTR
MANCHESTER Bamford, Hazel Grove
HANTS Alresford, Alton, Purbrook,
Southampton HEREFORDS Hereford
HERTS Borehamwood, Buntingford,
Hertford, St Albans KENT Chislehurst,
Royal Tunbridge Wells, Southborough, You don’t have to buy to
Tenterden LANCS Carnforth, Chorley,

live life
Lancaster, Penwortham, Poulton-le-
Fylde, Thornton Cleveleys LEICS Market
Harborough MIDDLESEX Harrow,
Isleworth NORFOLK Hunstanton, North
Walsham NORTHANTS Wellingborough
N. YORKS Filey, Ripon, Scarborough,

to the full
Settle OXON Chipping Norton, Didcot,
Henley-on-Thames RUTLAND Oakham
SHROPS Shrewsbury SOMERSET Bath,
Nailsea, Taunton S. YORKS Bawtry
STAFFS Codsall, Leek, Lichfield, Stafford
SUFFOLK Hadleigh SURREY Cobham,
Guildford, Sanderstead, Virginia Water, Our retirement communities are all about enjoying life to
Walton-on-Thames, Warlingham
TYNE & WEAR South Shields WARKS the full, with company when you want it, help when you
Nuneaton, Stratford-upon-Avon W. MIDS could use it, and even care when you need it.
Edgbaston, Solihull, Tettenhall W. YORKS
Cleckheaton, Ilkley W. SUSSEX Worthing
WILTS Devizes, Marlborough, Melksham, And our three options mean you can do it your way.
Salisbury, Trowbridge WORCS Redditch
SCOTLAND EAST DUNBARTONS
Milngavie EAST RENFREWS Newton
Mearns GLASGOW Pollokshields
WALES CARDIFF Llanishen DENBIGHS
Rent Buy Bit of both
Prestatyn ISLE OF ANGLESEY Benllech
SWANSEA Sketty
Enjoy all the benefits Part exchange* and Part buy, part rent
Over 50 more developments
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To find out more, call

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*Ts&Cs apply. For details see
mccarthyandstone.co.uk/partexchange
Correct at time of print. SC006753
 first look

PHOTOGRAPHS: ROB BIDDULPH / ANDY WARHOL FLOWERS 1964 (C) 2020 THE ANDY WARHOL FOUNDATION FOR THE VISUAL ARTS, INC / LICENSED BY DACS, LONDON /ANDY
WARHOL MARILYN DIPTYCH 1962 TATE (C) 2019 THE ANDY WARHOL FOUNDATION FOR THE VISUAL ARTS, INC. /ARTISTS RIGHT SOCIETY (ARS), NEW YORK AND DACS, LONDON
by Kirsten Jones
TRY
Pizza and pasta lovers are
in for a treat at ASK Italian.
The restaurant chain is
giving regulars a chance
to pick up deals all year
round with ASK Perks.
Members benefit from
offers like 2-4-1 Amore
Mondays on food and
drink, birthday vouchers
and monthly prize draws
to win a free meal. Sign up
to find your nearest restaurant
at askitalian.co.uk/askperks.

TAKE PART
Test your fitness and climb the heights of London’s
DO
Turn off the telly
Tower 42 to raise money and help fight homelessness and switch on
in the UK. Shelter is inviting adults to team up – or to stories with
tackle the 42 floors alone – for the tower-running World Book Day.
challenge on Thursday to ensure everyone has a safe Story lovers can
place to call home. Sign up from £30 at shelter.org. take part in the
uk/verticalrush and, for an extra fee, take on the Share a Million Stories

SEE
vertical mile – 10 times up the tower – if you dare. initiative to encourage
adults and children
to read together and
spread the love of From Campbell’s soup cans and Coca-Cola bottles
books in schools, to Marilyn Monroe, the works of Andy Warhol are
libraries, bookshops back at Tate Modern for the first time in nearly
or at home. Register 20 years. This major retrospective looks at the
at worldbookday.com life of the shy outsider turned pop-art superstar
to join the reading who reimagined the role of art in an age of great
revolution, get social, political and technological change. More
story-sharing tips and than 100 works – some never before seen in the
be in with a chance UK – explore Andy Warhol’s own desires, identity
to win prizes until and beliefs. Visit tate.org.uk.
March 29.

MUST HAVE
Military Wives
This heartwarming movie
follows the true story of a
group of women who form
a choir and help each other
with friendship, love and
support while their men are
away at war. With Kristin
Scott Thomas and Sharon
Horgan, it’s in cinemas now.
Make time for a choir, country tunes and a scary Stephen King-inspired movie
Good Years Doctor Sleep
Recorded in Nashville, Haunted by the horrors
Tennessee, and full of of his childhood at the
pacey anthems, the Overlook Hotel, Dan (Ewan
uplifting third album McGregor) must confront
by The Shires is out his fears to protect a girl
on Friday. It includes with “shine”. Based on
hits such as New Year, Stephen King’s sequel to
Lightning Strikes and Independence Day. The The Shining, it is out on
country duo starts a UK tour in April. Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 7

 Versace
Milan
Ready-to-
Wear
collection
Spring/
summer
Accessory
For fabulous finishing touches,
grab a handbag and heels in spring’s
2020
coolest shades and shapes
Compiled by Megan Rees

It’s in the bag

Cool mules
Khaki, £38,
Nell and Digby
(nellanddigby.com)

Mustard,
Yellow, £40, River Island £89.99, Zara
(riverisland.com) (zara.com)

Rejina Pyo
Spring/
summer 2020
Lilac, £15.99, Mango
Leopard, £49, (mango.com)
Office (office.co.uk)

Leopard,
£155, Ganni
(ganni.com)
Green, £32,
ASOS (asos.com)

Polka dot, £450,

Charlotte Olympia at Matches
GETTY IMAGES

Fashion (matchesfashion.com)

8 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 FOCUS

trends Woven wonders

Blue, £25,
Topshop
(topshop.com)
Prabal Gurung
Spring/
summer 2020

Beige, £35.99,
Mango (as before)

Walk the line Cream, £85,

Dune London
Yellow, £70, (as before)
Dune London
(dunelondon.com)

Multi, £30,
Asos (asos.com)

Red, £1,280,
Pink, £85, & Bottega Veneta
Other Stories (bottegaveneta.
(stories.com) com)

Bottega
Blue, £139, Hobbs
Veneta
(hobbs.com)
Spring/
summer
2020

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 9

 Retro florals
Nikki wears: Green
dress, £39, Topshop
(topshop.com);
shoes, £250,
LK Bennett
(lkbennett.com);
earrings, £10,
River Island
(riverisland.com)

Maria wears:
Dress, £325,
Rixo (rixo.co.uk);
sandals, £32, ASOS
(asos.com)

Step into spring

10 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
 FASHION

From pretty florals

to sheer fabrics,
stand out from the
crowd in the new
season’s trends
Styling by Harriet Wheeler and
Lauren Goodwin-Grafton
Photographs by David Venni

Statement
sleeves
Top, £360, Rejina Pyo at Fenwick
(fenwick.co.uk); trousers, £38,
ASOS (asos.com); hat, £5,
Primark (primark.com)

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 11

 Lilac vs
pistachio
Maria wears:
Dress, £42, ASOS
(asos.com)

Nikki wears:
Blouse, £195,
LK Bennett
(lkbennett.com);
trousers, £450,
Max Mara at Fenwick
(fenwick.co.uk)

12
 FASHION

The short suit

Jacket, £295;
shorts £135, both
Reiss (reiss.com);
T-shirt, £75, Hanro
(hanro.co.uk); mules,
£58, Dune London
(dunelondon.com)

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 13

 Sheer
delight
Maria wears:
Body, £15.99, New
Look (newlook.com);
trousers, £36, River
Island (riverisland.com);
pants, £12, Figleaves
(figleaves.com); mules,
£45, Marks & Spencer
(marksandspencer.com)

Nikki wears:
Shirt, £44.99, Reserved
(reserved.com); crop
top, £19, Topshop
(topshop.com);
jeans, £35.99, Mango
(mango.com);
shoes, £25, Marks &
Spencer (as before)

14 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 FASHION

High shine
Jacket, £65; trousers,
£50, both Nasty Gal
(nastygal.com);
hat, £14;
bag, £22, both
Topshop
(as before)

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 15

 FASHION

Cool metallics
Nikki wears:
Jacket, £435; trousers,
£260, both Momoni at
Fenwick (fenwick.co.uk);
shirt, £150, Gestuz at
Fenwick (as before);
sandals, £35.99, Mango
(mango.com)

Maria wears:
Dress, £65, River island
(riverisland.com);
sandals, £39, Office
(office.co.uk)

Stylists’ assistant:
Megan Rees
Hair and make-up:
Katrin Rees using Rodial
skincare, Hourglass cosmetics
and Sam McKnight and
Caroline Piasecki using
Dr Hauschka
Models: Nikki Mawhood
at MOT Models and
Maria Crittell at Hive

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 17

 Pro tips
MAC Petal Power I picked up
Collection z Keep lower lid liner just to the
outer edge of the eye rather than
Service: Makeup Your Way – £30, £45, £60
applying it all the way along, which
for 30, 45 or 60 minutes (redeemable
can make eyes look smaller.
against purchase).
z Use a lip primer (like Prep + Prime
Tested by: Lifestyle editor Octavia Lillywhite.
Lip, £15, from the new
Before
The makeover: I’m old enough these days to
collection). I was unconvinced
be in a make-up “rut” of red lips or nothing,
at first, but it made my lips look
so each season brands bring out all these fab
so much younger, smoothing
new collections and I think, “Yeah, not for me
out lines and stopping my
though, right?” The Petal Power Collection is
lipstick from bleeding.
very pink and looks gorgeous on a teenage
model, but do I have anything to learn from it?
Verdict: Apparently I do. I love the soft pink
lips (Lipstick in See Sheer, £17.50
(maccosmetics.co.uk) and Plenty Of Pout
Plumping Lip Glosses in Touch of Reverence
and Ephemeral Nature, both £19) and while
I probably wouldn’t recreate the orangey eyes,
I line up my “not touched for ages” products
when I got back home to give them a new try

After
with more confidence. This is also the first
time I’ve done a tutorial where I didn’t come
out caked in foundation – such a relief.

Spring makeovers
at the make-up counter
We asked three top brands to give our beauty team a glamorous
new look using their new-season products. Here’s the verdict…
NARS Afterglow Collection
Service: Event Make-up Application – £50 for 60 minutes (redeemable
against purchase).
Tested by: Beauty director Lynne Hyland.
The makeover: My eye can’t see past the gorgeous new Afterglow
Eyeshadow Palette, £56 (narscosmetics.co.uk), packed with
smouldering golds and chocolates. “That,” I say, pointing like a
toddler in a sweet shop. I’m thinking 90s supermodel with a
gilding of Beyoncé, particularly when Ana, the make-up artist,
starts swatching the matching Afterglow Lip Balms, £23.
Verdict: OK, I’m no supermodel, but I love how the palette
makes my eyes pop, and I get lots of compliments on my
makeover in the office. Even though it’s dramatic, I’d have a
go myself now I’ve had an idiot’s guide to what goes where.
(Perhaps not for date night, though – my husband reckons I
look “better in the before”. Humph!) I learned loads in my hour,
but if you don’t want to commit to a minimum £50 spend, you
Before After can book a free 15-minute masterclass on just eyes (or lips) to
learn how to use a particular product.

18 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Collection
Service: Tilbury Transformation Looks Makeover
– from £55 for 60 minutes (redeemable
against purchase).
Pro tips
Tested by: Beauty editor Laura Mulley. I picked up
The makeover: Tilbury sells one of its z “You can’t get red-carpet
original Pillow Talk lipsticks every 1.4 make-up without red-carpet
minutes; it’s a rosy nude shade that skincare,” said Ed. Prep the skin first
suits everyone – except me, I always with a rich moisturiser, eye cream
thought. But with the Pillow Talk and a little facial massage.
line recently expanded to include, z For Charlotte’s signature winged-
among other things, an out liner, draw a line where the bottom
eyeshadow palette, £60 of the eye would naturally rise, then
(charlottetilbury.com/uk), join it to the lash line into
blushes, £30, and new lip a triangle shape.
products, from £17, perhaps it
was time to give it another go. So I
ask senior lead make-up artist Ed to
create the classic glam “Tilbury girl” look – glowing skin,
feathery brows and no shortage of highlighter – using
these pretty pinky tones, hoping I’ll end up looking
like the Victoria’s Secret model on the poster.
Verdict: The lips were still too much for
me, a long-time lipstick-phobe, and I’d
probably use a lighter hand with the base
products, but I loved the feline flick of
Before
the Pillow Talk Eyeliner, £19, in an
unusual reddish-brown shade, the
abundance of shimmery
Pro tips shades all over the eyes,
I picked up and how user-friendly the
eyeshadow palette is.
z Customise your foundation by
mixing in liquid illuminator. It
gives slightly less coverage but a
flattering, dewier finish. (Ana used
NARS Tinted Glow Booster, £28)
z Team a brown smokey eye like
this with brown eyeliner in the
waterline. It looks softer and
more tonal than black.

After

MEGAN BRAMLEY

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

Beauty 19
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 Counter
Beauty
Edited by Laura Mulley
Fresh faced
A foundation that’s packed full of
ingredients I’d also find on my skincare
shelf? Yes please. Maybelline Dream
Radiant Liquid Hydrating Foundation
(£8.99; nationwide) contains
hyaluronic acid and plumping
collagen, plus illuminating pigments
for a medium-coverage, naturally
radiant finish. Dream skin indeed.

Girl
power
Pure and simple Today is
International
I’m fussy about retinol in products –
Women’s Day, and you
the majority of them irritate my skin
can support the cause and your skin with the limited-
– but I know I’ll be in safe hands
edition L’Occitane Solidarity Balm (£6; uk.loccitane.
with new La Roche-Posay Retinol
com). This little multi-purpose pot of shea butter has had
B3 Serum (£38; boots.com), the
a hibiscus scent added and can be dabbed on any areas
sensitive skin specialists. The brand
of dry skin. All profits go to the L’Occitane Foundation,
has combined a low percentage of
supporting projects that empower women in Burkina Faso
that hero anti-ageing ingredient with
in West Africa, from where the shea butter is harvested.
vitamin B3 and glycerin to hydrate
and protect the skin barrier, making
this perfect for retinol newbies.

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 21

 Life as I know it
Gok Wan
How To Look Good Naked presenter Gok, 45,
lives in central London Words by Neil Batey
I’m very good at… sleight-of-hand card tricks.
A top magician called Laura London is my mentor
and has taught me illusions. I carry a pack of
cards in my handbag the whole day because
I might need to impress a hot guy in a bar.
My best friend is... I’ve got a community group
of about 30 friends who all fulfil different roles.
There are drag queens, singers, comedians,
nurses, actors and TV production people.
The bravest thing I’ve ever done is... write my
autobiography, Through Thick And Thin. It was an
open letter to the world and I talked about my
eating disorders, which I’d never even discussed
with my own family. I thought the process would
be cathartic, but it really wasn’t. It was so
harrowing, painful and upsetting to do.
My favourite TV show is... I’m slightly obsessed
by the American legal drama Suits. When I was
younger I wanted to work in the City, so when
I watch Suits it literally makes me want to give up
my job and retrain to become a lawyer.
My perfect evening in is… having a few friends
over to my place. I’d cook, then there’d be card
games, lots of booze and a steady rotation of
food prepared by myself. In my mind I think
I’m Nigella Lawson but, of course, I’ll never look
as glamorous as her posing with a pot of
whipped cream.
My first kiss was... when I was about 12 and it
was with a girl. I knew I was gay but I had to
throw the entire school off the scent. I grew up
on a council estate in Leicester, so I organised
a very public meeting with her on the swings at
the playground. As I went in to kiss her the only
thing that occurred to me was, “You need to
change your moisturiser, love.” In my head, I was
Omar Sharif but for her it was probably more like
smooching an overcooked sweet potato.
The best thing my parents taught me is... the
importance of business. My parents ran a
Chinese restaurant, so from a very early age,
they taught me the value of money and being
self-sufficient.
22
My biggest regret is... not applying myself to my
studies. I fell in with a bad crowd, became very
naughty and left school very early, aged 15. My
biggest paranoia is the fear that people think
I’m thick.
I’d like to say sorry to... I hate to be so
narcissistic, but I’d apologise to my younger self.
I was really hard on myself earlier in life.
The one thing I’d like to change about myself
is... the fact that I’m bossy. As soon as things
aren’t going my way, I react by becoming
increasingly obnoxious.
The last time I cried was… while filming this
series of How To Look Good Naked. One of the
contributors told me about something that had
happened to her and it really hit an old nerve
of mine. It was a really tough day and no one
wants to see that, because I’m an ugly crier.
The first record I ever bought was… Uptown Girl
by Billy Joel on vinyl single in 1983. This song
had the classic video of Billy as a mechanic
trying to woo model Christie Brinkley. Oh my God,
she was so beautiful.
It’s not good for my image but... I’m a stylist
with the worst hair in the world. I spend my
whole life trying to improve other people’s
appearances, but I’m stuck forever with this
weird Lego quiff.
My greatest weakness is... any person who
needs fixing emotionally. As soon as someone
shows any signs of vulnerability, it’s like catnip
to me. I have to solve their problem.
If I could pass any law, it would be... to have
body confidence and self-esteem put on to the
national school curriculum.
I drive... a Land Rover Discovery. I probably know
more about cars than I do about fashion. Isn’t
that odd? There’s a part of my personality that is
quite stereotypically “blokey”. I’m not naturally
effeminate and my friends say I’m camp for pay.
One shop I can’t go past is... probably Cos,
which is a bit boring but I buy a lot of stuff from
there because it suits my body shape.
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
 The most expensive thing I’ve ever splashed out
on is… my house in Covent Garden. I’d describe
it as opulent, chaotic and full of memories.
My perfect Sunday is… I live for my Sundays.
I enjoy a lie-in to 8.30am, take my dog out for
a walk, then meet up with my gang of friends
for a boozy lunch. Then I’d walk the dog again
before hosting a kitchen party at home in the
evening. When my friends leave at 10pm, I’ll
put some classical music on, clear up and go
to bed.
My favourite place in Britain is… When I was a
little fat Asian lad in Leicester watching the 10pm
news with its imagery of Big Ben and London, I’d
think to myself, “One day, I’m going to live there.”
I still have the same feeling of excitement
about living in the capital – the best shops,
restaurants, clubs, bars and music venues are
all on my doorstep.

“Body confidence
and self-esteem
should be put
on to the national
school curriculum”
My last holiday was to… I’m really awful at
holidays. I don’t like the countryside, silence or
relaxing. I went to Las Vegas and that was great
because it’s information overload and every part
of your body is stimulated.
I’m currently reading… I struggle with reading
because I’ve got a limited vocabulary. If I try to
read a book, I fall asleep after the first paragraph.
The best day of my life was… one Christmas Day,
waking up at my family home and my parents had
bought me a 1974 Beetle Marathon. I knew my
parents couldn’t afford it and must have saved for
ages to buy it. That present came from a place of
pure love.
If I had half an hour left on Earth, I’d... consume
a whole bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken because
I wouldn’t have enough time to feel guilty about it. ●S

Gok presents How To Feel Good Naked on

Wednesday at 9pm on Really.

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 23


World at her feet
t’s half a century since anarchy, chaos and
I racism tainted the 1970 Miss World
competition. Beamed live from London’s
Royal Albert Hall amid scenes that could have
come straight from a Carry On film, a global
TV audience of more than 100 million certainly
got an eyeful.
Protesters had planted themselves in the
audience and objected noisily to the “cattle
market” about to begin. Hurling flour bombs
and leaflets, their feminist anger was fuelled
by comedian and compere Bob Hope, his
inuendo never knowingly undercooked.
The furious young agitators were hauled
away by the police and while the 58
contestants waited anxiously in the wings,
the BBC briefly pulled the plug on transmission
until order was restored.
Once back on-air, the Miss World crown
went for the first time to a black contestant
– 22-year-old Jennifer Hosten, Miss Grenada.
24
Jennifer with
actress Gugu
Mbatha-Raw
Another black girl, Pearl Jansen, 20, Miss
Africa South from Cape Town, was voted
runner-up.
It was also the first time Jennifer had
encountered the sickening ugliness of racism.
From her home in Oakville, Ontario, she
explains with pragmatic calm, “At the time,
I did receive a lot of letters of support from
people in the UK and generally they believed
that I stood out and were not surprised I’d
won. But the media made it out to be a
conspiracy, especially as two women of colour
came in at one and two, and they had to find
some reasons why it had been fixed.”
But she was bemused by the reaction of
one of the judges, the actress Joan Collins.
“She said it was just because of my sex
appeal that I’d won. I’d watched her as a small
child when she was filming Island In The Sun
with Harry Belafonte not far from my home
and when I remembered many of the roles that
Comedian Bob Hope
crowns Jennifer
Miss World in 1970
Joan Collins herself had played, it struck me
as very ironic that she should target sex appeal
because she certainly knew what that was,”
Jennifer adds drily.
And the reason Jennifer, now 72, mum,
grandma and the mother of extreme
reinvention – author, broadcaster, airline
hostess, model, diplomat, farmer, beachfront
apartments’ owner, trade specialist, high
commissioner to Grenada and registered
psychotherapist – is catching up with her past
is because she features in a compelling new
film, Misbehaviour, which centres on that
infamous evening of November 20, 1970.
Jennifer is played by award-winning actress
Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Keira Knightley stars as
intellectual activist Sally Alexander and Jo
Robinson, a militant founding member of the
women’s liberation movement, is played by
Jessie Buckley. The idea for a film started
taking shape following Radio 4 show The
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
 INTERVIEW

Gugu as Jennifer

As a new film about the 1970 Miss World pageant hits the big screen,
the winner, Jennifer Hosten, recalls how she faced racism and sexism
– and then went on to forge a whole new life Words by Pauline McLeod
Reunion in 2010. Hosted by Sue MacGregor, movement didn’t take this into account and The gestation period from radio show to
it brought together key people involved in to write all women off as being exploited was shooting was many years. When casting was
the 1970 protest, including Jennifer, Sally a simplistic argument,” adds Jennifer, who complete, Gugu emailed Jennifer, saying she’d
and Jo. considered the movement to be insular and be thrilled to meet her on the tiny island of
“Sally and Jo seemed genuinely surprised to badly thought through. Grenada. Jennifer wasn’t so sure. She’d
know of the rest of my life and the career paths “Calling women cows and things like that recently sold her apartment building, Jenny’s
I had taken,” says Jennifer. “Perhaps in some is not helpful. You can instead, help to level the Place, on the famous Grand Anse beach and
respects they’d expected me to remain just playing field for women and support them to wasn’t planning on returning for a while.
a former beauty contest winner. have more opportunities so they don’t have Her daughter, Sophia, 45, who lives near
“There were few opportunities for women to enter contests and if they do, it’s because Toronto with her husband and their three sons,
of colour back in 1970 and if there was the it’s their choice,” she continues. “Surely, put her straight, “Mum, c’mon.” And as Jennifer
possibility of taking part in a beauty contest as women, shouldn’t we all be supporting admits, “I was very flattered that she should
it was a big deal. The women’s liberation each other?” put herself out and come to Grenada, plus she
was doing this on her own dime. So Sophia
came with me, Gugu brought her mum from

“There were few opportunities for England and we had a wonderful time.”
Not so wonderful and, in fact, deeply

women of colour back in 1970”

offensive to both the 36-year-old British actress
and Sophia was the moment seen in the 1970
Miss World BBC video when all the contestants
onstage were asked to turn, then turn again,

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 25

 Former Miss
World Jennifer until their behinds were facing the judges for
Hosten at 72 better inspection.
“Well, yes, it was very strange but I just
came to the conclusion that this was what they
did at the Miss World contest,” says Jennifer.
“Later, when I lived on a remote farm with my
family in Ottawa and there were livestock
sales, I realised why some called aspects of
the beauty contest a cattle market.”
She and Pearl had bonded in London back
in 1970, but their histories and life stories
were a world apart. In a moment of political
correctness on the part of Miss World
organiser Eric Morley, Miss Africa South had
been entered during that country’s most
oppressive era of apartheid rule. Bizarrely,
Pearl found herself competing against another
girl from her own country – Miss South Africa,
who was white.
A steely determination, strong sense
of self-worth and a fearless spirit have
always stood Jennifer Hosten in good stead
and they all played into what would be her
on-the-night “package”. She was most
definitely in it to win.
And then there was “the weapon”. It’s what
Jennifer and her big sister, Pommie, named the
stunning one-of-a-kind gold crocheted evening
dress she’d had made in Trinidad for the Miss
World contest. It’s been tucked away in a box
for decades and when shooting began she
sent it to the production company. It was as if
the gown had been made for Gugu – it fitted
her like a beautiful glove.
Despite her close ties to Grenada, Jennifer
has lived mostly in Canada for many years. Her
ex-husband, David Craig, father of their son,
Beau, 43, is Canadian and Jennifer’s mother
was born in Toronto, yet this gracious, kindly
woman still has such a melodic Caribbean lilt
she could hush a crying baby in a minute.
She and David, an IBM engineer, met before
Protesters outside the the Miss World competition and the 12 months
1970 Miss World contest of travel that her reigning year brought her. It
was both rewarding and exhausting and when
she handed the crown to Miss Brazil the
following year, Jennifer was ready to return
to the relative quiet of the West Indies.
She and David married and lived in Bermuda
for two years before moving to fishing, shooting
and hunting country in Ottawa. Ploughing
snowmobiles through to the nearest passable
road, learning to milk Holstein cows at
6.30am, grave-digging, being appointed
Grenada’s high commissioner to Canada, the
realisation that in the empty landscape of
Calgary you don’t need false eyelashes and
working as a diplomat in Bangladesh, have all
GETTY IMAGES

meant she’s packed a lot into her life.

After 28 years of marriage, Jennifer and
David divorced. She’s since remarried – twice
– but is happily single again and, as you might

26 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 INTERVIEW
imagine, her life is full. Especially with her five
grandchildren. “I love where I live and what I
love most is being a grandmother,” she smiles.
Nothing much fazes Jennifer. She, her family
and Gugu watched Misbehaviour for the first
time at a private screening during the Toronto
Film Festival in October.
“Gugu was anxious, Sophia was the most
apprehensive and I could see my daughter-in-
law Rebecca wiping a tear away at the end.
‘What brought that on?’ I asked. ‘It’s so
inspirational,’ she said. That’s a pretty good
result if that’s the case. I was extremely
impressed and thought they portrayed things
as close to reality as possible.”
In January 2019, Jennifer had been invited
to watch some of the filming.
“There was something about Gugu’s essence
that reminded me of me,” she confesses.
“I thought, ‘Well, these casting people are
amazing,’ you know.
“I sat with the director, Philippa Lowthorpe,
and had to turn away because it brought tears

“It brought Above: Protester Keira Knightley comes face to face with Miss Grenada, played by Gugu
Mbatha-Raw, in Misbehaviour. Below: Gugu as Jennifer, with Suki Waterhouse

tears to my eyes
seeing how much
Gugu had put
into the role”
to my eyes, seeing just how much Gugu had
put into the role.
“I felt almost as if I was her mother looking
at her. She’d really nailed the part. The accent
is perfect. I told her I was so glad they chose
her to play the part of me. The only person who
could have done it better was me.”
Jennifer loves London and is delighted to be
in the city for the film’s premiere tomorrow with
her son, daughter and their spouses.
She believes it will be something of a
homecoming – but how times have changed
since her last trip. ● S

Misbehaviour is in cinemas from Friday.

Jennifer Hosten’s memoir, Miss World: How
I Entered A Pageant And Wound Up Making
History (£22.95, Sutherland House Books)
is out on Tuesday. See Express Bookshop
on page 77.

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 27

 Vet Janey Lowes, 31,
led a privileged life in Janey with
Finn in 2015
the UK but swapped it
to heal animals in Asia
Words by Susanna Galton

“M
y life five years ago was
completely unrecognisable
from the one I now lead. Back
then, I was a vet working with
small animals in my native
Newcastle and living with my professional
rugby player boyfriend, Alex.
At 25, I had the career of my dreams, a nice
house, a nice car and no money worries. Life
was good. But I can honestly say that I am
100 per cent more fulfilled today.
I have wanted to be a vet ever since I was a
little girl, one of five kids growing up in Barnard
Castle, County Durham. My dad’s family were
farmers and I was surrounded by animals,
though my first true love was Finn, a brown and
white spaniel who was an abandoned puppy I
adopted when I was doing vet work experience
aged 16. Finn seemed to understand exactly
how I was feeling – it was Finn who ignited my
strong connection with dogs.
After qualifying from Nottingham University,
I moved back up North for work and moved in
with Alex. We’d been together since I was 14.

“I gave up
He was like my soulmate and best friend rolled
into one. But things started to go downhill
when we lived together. I’d come home tired
and stressed, and he’d be exhausted from
playing rugby full-time.

everything to help
We booked a trip to Sri Lanka in May 2014
in the hopes of repairing our relationship, but
we ended up splitting up at the airport before
we’d even got there. We still went as friends,
though, and the country blew me away. The

Sri Lankan strays”

beaches, sunshine, friendly locals and surfing
were just heavenly. The only problem for me
– and it was a huge problem – was the street
dogs. They were everywhere. The healthy ones
seemed happy enough roaming the streets, but
all too often they were mange-ridden or injured.
Their soulful eyes followed me everywhere.
One dog who particularly got to me I called
Tom. He was so friendly and trusting. He had
a nasty gash under his eye, which would have
been simply treated in the UK with a few
stitches. But I knew that in a tropical climate it
would soon be infected. I didn’t have any of my
veterinary kit with me, so I decided I’d pay for
a Sri Lankan vet to treat him. I asked several,
but none would treat a street dog, which
shocked me and I didn’t know what to do.
Back home, I couldn’t get poor Tom out
of my mind. I started googling Sri Lankan
charities that helped street dogs, wondering
how I could make a difference.
With Alex and I split up, it would have been
easy to move out and carry on with my nice
comfortable life, but I realised there was
nothing tying me down now. Why not go to
Sri Lanka and start treating these animals?
I was lucky enough to have some savings.
I thought I could survive for a year, help some
dogs, and then return home.
So I spoke to my wonderful manager at the
surgery, Nick, about my plan. He was so
supportive and even gave £10,000 from the
company to help me get started. What a boss.
Online, I found a woman called Otara
Gunewardene, who’d set up an organisation
called Embark, based in the capital Colombo,
which helped street dogs. She explained that
the most useful thing a vet could do was
neutering and vaccination, which made
complete sense to me. I decided to make
these the focus of my charity, which I gave
the name WECare Worldwide.
I tied up the loose ends of my life, sold my

28 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 INTERVIEW

car and booked my flight in October 2014.

Along with my clothes, I packed surgical kits,
bandaging and Manuka honey, which can help
with wound management.
I was excited rather than daunted. I’d
travelled solo before so I wasn’t scared. It was
just another adventure.
Landing in Colombo, I headed straight for
Talalla, a beautiful beach town in the south
where I’d met Tom, the dog with the poorly eye
whose photo I had kept with me to remember Above: With Ben Fogle on
my mission. I stayed at a surfing retreat New Lives In The Wild;
initially, where I’d previously made friends and receiving the 2016
from my holiday with Alex. Vet of the Year award
One of the first dogs I treated was Joy, who from Amanda Holden.
had been bitten by another dog and whose Left: with Belle
wound was crawling with maggots. I tweezed – “Her positive
them all out, cleaned her, and bandaged her outlook could
up. No one had ever seen a bandaged dog teach most
before. It was a tiny drop in the ocean, but people a thing
I felt so happy to have achieved something. or two about
Making the charity a success became my the best
whole focus. I taught myself how to build a way to live”
website from YouTube, how to fundraise and
generate publicity. I also learned how to speak
Sinhalese, and soon understood it when locals
called me a ‘crazy white dog lady’.
I worked and worked, determined not to fail.
I went from having one tuk-tuk driver and me to
now employing 17 members of staff, including
five vets, three nurses and several trainees. In
the blink of an eye over five years have passed.
Since my first patient we have aided some
12,000 street dogs.
We’ve treated all sorts of problems, from
puppies bitten by poisonous snakes to dogs
who’ve eaten food laced with explosives. I’ve
had to amputate mutts’ legs who’ve been run
over, and treat STDs – yes, dogs get them, too.
Of course, there have been real challenges.
I am frequently bitten by dogs, including some
with rabies, resulting in jabs that have
sometimes made me sick. I’ve contracted
mange, as well as ringworm, which isn’t nice.
I’ve suffered abuse from some locals who think
I am mad. But it’s all been worth it. Teaching children
Twice a year I come back to the UK for about the dogs Janey and her team
fundraising and I’ll go to the dentist and
hairdresser and get my legs waxed. I hear bungalow, with a lean-to kitchen, camping hob One day I would like to expand our charity
people talking about Love Island and ASOS and, sadly, rats. One room has air-conditioning across Sri Lanka and open clinics in other
deliveries and it all seems so silly. My priorities but it’s too expensive to use. I have adopted parts of Asia, too. People have described
have totally changed. five dogs called Mali, Benji, Stitch, Lottie and me as selfless, but I love what I do. I get
In 2016 I was thrilled to win Vet of the Year. Tilly. I had to toughen up or I would have taken as much back from these amazing dogs as
I came back to Britain for Amanda Holden to them all in. I don’t have a boyfriend and can’t I give them and I feel so lucky.” ●
S
present me with an Animal Hero Award. Then face Tinder because the people I work with are S
last year, I featured on Channel 5’s Ben Fogle’s on there, and it’s a small community. I am Janey The Vet by Janey Lowes (Michael O’Mara,
New Lives In The Wild. Ben’s dad is a vet and ready to meet someone now, but I’m not £14.99) is out on March 19 and available for
he was so supportive and kind. desperate to have kids, as I’ve got the dogs. preorder now. See Express Bookshop on page
My life now is a far cry from the privileged There are enough people on the planet but 77. Visit wecareworldwide.org.uk to make a
one I had in Newcastle. I live in a simple beach I would consider adoption. donation to the charity.

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 29

 Edited by Laura Mulley
eing a city girl through

B and through, when I think

of a weekend destination
I imagine bustling streets,
shopping and bars
with people spilling out on to the
pavement. Barcelona, you might
say, would be the ideal.
So it might seem odd to catch
a flight to that culture capital,
then head directly away from it into
the rolling green Catalonian hills.
But as my shopaholic sister and
I drove towards our hotel, past the
ancient peaks of the Montseny
Massif mountains and through
the manicured grounds of the
PGA Catalunya Resort, it was the
serenity that we immediately fell
in love with.
We were spending a long
weekend at the five-star Hotel
Camiral – the PGA resort’s
showpiece accommodation
– a slick, stylish and modern

Glorious Girona
establishment, achingly hip, with
a heavenly pool. From the moment
we walked through the smart
lobby, with the scent of flowers
hanging in the air, the scene for a
fashionable stay was instantly set.
Golf, Game Of Thrones and gastronomic delights are just The arty interior has been
a few of the gems this Spanish city has to offer thoughtfully designed, from the
grand windows perfectly framing
that vast and inviting pool to the
array of eye-catching sculptures
and artworks.
The rooms also have the wow
factor: elegantly decorated (we were
in a superior deluxe) with a bed so
impressive and inviting. But it was
the little luxuries I really adored:
the fancy Elemis products in our
bathroom, the gorgeous chairs in
our living area and the pillow menu
for those who like to personalise
their bedding preferences.
“When can we move in?” my
sister asked as we sipped cava
and ate serrano ham on our
private balcony overlooking MICHELLE CHAPLOW / GETTY IMAGES
the resort’s huge PGA tour golf
course with the magnificent
Above: Girona’s
Pyrenees in the background.
medieval
Ah yes, golf. The resort is famous
quarter
for its two world-class, 18-hole
Left: Hotel
courses. But you certainly don’t
Camiral’s
need to be a golfer to enjoy staying
inviting
here. Whether you want to relax,
pool
explore or feast like a king, the

30 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 classy Hotel Camiral has activities
and foodie treats to suit all tastes.
You can explore the incredible
surrounding countryside by bike
or horseback, put your tennis skills
to the test, or spend an afternoon
lounging by the pool. The clubhouse
provides casual cuisine perfect
for breaking your exercise (or
lounging) routine.
Spa seekers will rejoice at
spending a relaxing morning in the
wellness centre. You can even get
into the golfing spirit without hitting
the course by trying the signature
Quiro Golf massage, which uses
golf balls to improve circulation and Relax on the terrace
reduce joint pain. overlooking the golf course
Food discovery was high on the
agenda for us. A tasty hot spot
at the hotel if you’re looking to enjoy Room rates at Hotel
cuisine with a Catalan influence, Camiral are from
is 1477 Restaurant. The prime about £172 per night
beef was mouthwatering and the for a standard deluxe
mushroom rice so delicious room, based on two
we ordered a second helping. sharing on a bed
And if the pull of city life is just too and breakfast basis.
much for you (guilty), it’s a short ride To book, visit
to the charming city of Girona. With hotelcamiral.com/en
more than 2,000 years of history, or call +34 972 472
this picturesque town really has so 249. For further
much to offer: sightseeing, a spot information on PGA
of shopping and, of course, a sunny Catalunya Resort,
lunch, Spanish style. visit pgacatalunya.
To taste the local flavours while com. For Girona
taking in the surroundings, book Hotel Camiral’s lounge bar Food Tours, visit
the Girona Food Tour. Just don’t eat is perfect for cocktails gironafoodtours.com.
breakfast beforehand because you’ll
be full of tasty tapas, jamón and cava
before the day is out. Girona’s famous
Game Of Thrones fans will also be Eiffel Bridge
transported to King’s Landing and
Braavos (Girona was used as a set
during filming), as they are guided
through the old cobbled streets
during the tour.
Do make sure you cross over
into the new town by the Eiffel
Bridge – it’s a pretty place to stop
to take a picture or two.
And I’ll let you into another
of Girona’s best-kept secrets
– a xuixo (pronounced shoo-shoo),
a famous Catalonian pastry that’s
like a deep-fried doughnut filled with a
custardy cream, is delicious.
We may have piled on a few extra
pounds over our weekend getaway but
it was well worth it. ● S
Lauren Goodwin-Grafton

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 31

 T This too
alking and reflecting while we are in
a phase of change are vital if we
are to fulfil our potential and
prosper. It is important, too, to take
a holistic approach and become
aware of how everything we choose to do – or
not do – has an impact.

shall pass
The Eight Pillars of Strength concept described
here is a framework to identify the attitudes,
good habits and ways of being that will help build
our strength to cope with changes in our lives.
I cannot state strongly enough how important it
is for each of us to find our own particular way
of doing this. It requires work to build the pillars
and commitment to keep going.

1 Relationship with oneself

This is the pillar that influences every
other relationship in our life and is central to
Finding changes in your
our wellbeing. We need to be aware of what is life difficult to cope with?
going on inside us and accept who we find
ourselves to be. A good guide is to be as kind Follow psychotherapist
and respectful to ourselves as we would be
to a good friend.
Julia Samuel’s guide
It helps to:
z Analyse the conflicting and confusing
and you will not only
messages going on in our mind. A useful way survive, but thrive
of doing this is to keep a journal. Writing down
competing messages and feelings helps clarify
our thoughts and gives us the information we
need to find the right support.
z Learn what your defence mechanisms are,
and work out whether they are still helpful or
not. For example, if you tend to withdraw from
others when you’re upset, it may mean you’re
not getting the support you actually need. Ask
those close to you to listen or comfort you.
z Build confidence. As we change over time,
so does our confidence and sense of self.
We may have relied on our physical strength,
looks, job, memory and talents, which may
have diminished or changed. We need to
mourn the loss of these attributes and actively
find new sources of confidence and meaning.

2 Relationships with others

Having good, strong relationships is
essential for a happy and successful life.
These relationships require self-knowledge,
commitment, time and love.
It helps to:
z Recognise that as we change in life, so do
relationships with our partner, family and
friends. We need to find ways of communicating
our love and repairing ruptures after fights.
z Make your key relationships a priority and
find time to have fun together, play together
and just be together. Perhaps have regular
date nights, commit to a joint hobby or simply
go for walks together.

32 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020


Get started
You don’t need to do all
this at once. Start by choosing
one or two of the eight pillars
and integrate them into your
daily life. When you’ve done
that, choose another. Once
you feel the benefits
it will be easy to
keep going.
GETTY IMAGES
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
3 Managing emotions
A key contributor to a successful life
is impulse control, the ability to delay
gratification or choose what to say and when.
This means we need to control extreme
feelings so we don’t anaesthetise them with
bad habits – such as drugs or alcohol –
or vent them on those closest to us.
It helps to:
z Take responsibility for yourself and the
impact you have on others.
z Be aware of your triggers. When you’re hungry,
lonely or tired you might, for instance, fire off an
angry text. Don’t. Take a breath when you see
a likely trigger, slow down and take time out.
z Identify your different emotions, so you know
how best to respond to a particular situation.
4 Time
Our relationship with time is radically
altered as we age. When we’re young we feel
immortal, but as we age we have a scary
sense of our own mortality. The more we can
be mindful of the day and moment we are
living in, the richer our lives can be.
It helps to:
z Focus on the present, being aware of the
sights and sounds around us, while calmly
accepting our feelings. Apps like Headspace
are useful guides.
z Do not fight change. Accept it. If you are
patient and kind to yourself, you are more
likely to adjust faster.
z Allow more time to make decisions.
Only time allows proper reflection to insure
against regret.
z Keep your outlook short. The future can
look daunting, so focus your attention on today
and the week ahead.
5 Mindbody
The mindbody is now thought of as
a single unit, not two separate systems.
What we are thinking will send a signal to
our body, and a sensation in our body will
send a signal to our mind. It is important
to recognise that what we allow into our mind
will have a fundamental influence on our
emotions. We need to be aware, for instance,
that what we are watching or listening to
has a powerful influence on our mood.
Regular exercise is key to a healthy life and
more effective than any pill yet developed for
both physical and mental health. It’s never
too late to start.
It helps to:
z De-stress your body with regular
cardiovascular exercise. Running, walking
or any sport will decrease cortisol levels.
z Follow exercise with meditation, which helps
RELATIONSHIPS
manage anxiety. This could be through an app,
YouTube clip, or just by breathing in and out.
The simplest breathing exercise is to breathe
in for the count of five, hold for the count of
five, breathe out for the count of five, and hold
for the count of five. Then repeat.
z Eat healthily, cutting down on sugar, coffee
and alcohol.
6 Limits
As we age, many different limits emerge
to our successes, abilities and life. Try to
actively address each one. For example, adjust
your schedule to match your energy levels,
rather than battling to do what you’ve always
done and ending up exhausted.
It helps to:
z Learn how to say “no” with conviction.
z Introduce boundaries that protect you from
intrusions. For example, turn your phone off
after 8.30pm, and make a clear distinction
between work and home time.
z Recognise the limits of what you can control
or influence.
7 Structure
This helps give us a foundation on which
to stand when our world feels shaky. Develop
good habits such as:
z Exercising first thing in the morning.
z Working or completing chores.
z Reflecting on the present and past, and
thinking about possibilities.
z Choosing to do calming things.
z Ensuring regular good sleeping habits.
8 Focusing
Our minds often ruminate on what we
cannot change and experiences that left us
feeling frustrated, tense and unsettled. Focusing
is a way of connecting to the sensations in our
bodies and finding words to express those
feelings. Doing this regularly will help you feel
calmer and able to face each new day afresh.
Focus by:
z Closing your eyes.
z Breathing deeply and slowly, in through your
nose and out through your mouth, three times.
z Moving your attention around your body until
you find the place where there’s most sensation.
z Breathing into that place.
z Finding a word to describe it.
Does it have a shape or colour?
z Then following where
that image takes you. ● S
This Too Shall Pass by Julia
Samuel is out now for £14.99.
See Bookshop on page 77.
33
 How to remember
almost anything
Struggling to remember facts and figures? One simple technique – the
method of loci – could transform your memory, says Alison George
I
n the age of Google, with limitless information
at our fingertips, it is tempting to think that
a good memory is obsolete. Of course,
anyone studying for exams or learning a new
skill, or just trying to remember their myriad
passwords, knows otherwise.
So how can we improve our ability to recall?
The first thing to remember is that there’s
a big distinction between giving the brain’s
hardware a boost and improving its software.
In other words, it’s relatively easy to improve
your ability to remember things through tricks
and techniques, but actually changing the
brain’s hardwiring is a different matter.
Take working memory, one of the brain’s
most crucial front-line functions. Everything you
know and remember, whether it’s an event, a
skill or a fascinating fact, started its journey
into storage by going through your working
memory. Can it be upgraded?
For a long while, working memory capacity,
much like IQ, was thought to be a fixed
commodity determined mainly by genetics and
our early gestation period. Then some studies
in the 2000s found that there might be some
flex in the system after all. The research
showed that the neural systems that underlie
working memory seemed to grow in response
to training – tasks such as memorising the
positions of a series of dots on a grid.
More importantly, these studies also found
that working memory training produced
improvements in cognitive abilities not related
to the training. For example, children who had
completed these types of mental workouts
showed a leap in IQ test scores of eight per
cent. Sales of brain-training programmes
boomed. Since then, however, other studies
have poured cold water on these findings.
Many researchers now question whether this
kind of training actually makes you better at
anything other than working memory tests.
ALAMY
The bottom line is that it seems difficult,
if not impossible, to reliably improve the
34
biological hardware involved in memory. Even
worse, it is easy to damage memory through
injury, drug abuse or alcohol. But the good
news is that there are many ways in which
you can make the best use of what you have.
Simple strategies
The difference between mere mortals and
memory champions is more method than
mental capacity. A study of the frontrunners
in the annual World Memory Championships
didn’t find any evidence that these people have
particularly high IQs or differently configured
brains. But, while memorising, these people
did show activity in three brain regions
that become active during movement and
navigation tasks but are not normally active
during simple memory tests.
This may be connected to the fact that
they use a strategy that places items to be
remembered along a visualised route. This
so-called “method of loci” was invented by
the ancient Greeks at least 2,000 ago and
is used by almost all top memorisers.
It involves imagining a route that they know
well, such as moving around their home or
travelling to work, and associating the
information to be learned with landmarks
along that route. They can then retrieve the
information later on by making the same
journey in their mind and seeing the objects
connected to each landmark. (See box, right.)
How else do the champions do it? In
November 2005, Chinese businessman Chao
Lu became a world record holder by reciting
Pi to 67,890 places. It took him a year to
memorise and over 24 hours to reel them
off. Like most extraordinary memorists,
Chao Lu used a set of mnemonics.
Most mnemonics are based on the
principles of reduction or elaboration. As
the name suggests, a reduction code
reduces the information to be remembered.
To memorise a long list of numbers,
for example, a mnemonist might assign
consonants to each number from 0 to nine,
then group the stream into four-digit chunks
and convert these into words by judiciously
adding vowels – a mnemonic known as the
phonetic system. They might then create an
image for each word and weave these into a
familiar journey or create a narrative in which
to place memories. Later, retracing the journey
or story brings back the images, which can
then be decoded into the string of digits.
A similar approach can help you to remember
a list of random words, even the order of
a pack of cards in one viewing.
This might sound complicated, but most
of us will have used versions of these tricks.
An acronym such as “Roy G Biv” helps children
to remember the colours of the rainbow (red,
orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet),
as does a catchy phrase such as “Richard of
York Gave Battle in Vain”.
Then there is the peg word system. This
involves assigning a memorable rhyming word
to a number: “one is bun”, “two is shoe”,
“three is tree”. A list can then be remembered
by linking each item in the sequence to each
peg word, through a memorable image.
There are many other ways to boost your
chances of recall, such as actively elaborating
or rehearsing information, organising it in a
new way, or explaining it to someone else.
But don’t get too carried away. While these
tricks might help you remember specific facts,
they may not improve your ability to function
in everyday situations. Memory champions
perform astounding feats, yet they can be
quite forgetful in daily life, like the rest of us. ●
S
The Brain: Everything You Need
To Know by Alison George and
New Scientist (John Murray,
£14.99) is out now. See Express
Bookshop on page 77.
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

The method of loci
aster memorisers
M don’t have special
brains or higher IQs.
Instead they use tools to
help them remember. One
of the oldest and most
successful tools is called
the method of loci.
To use this method, think
of a place you know well,
such as your own house.
Then visualise objects you
wish to remember and
imagine placing them in
various rooms. Move
logically in your mind from
one room to the next,
placing each item by a
memorable location,
such as a doorway or a
piece of furniture.
When you want to recall
the items, simply imagine
walking around your house,
and the objects should
spring to mind, in
sequence, as you go.
This method could be
used to memorise
something as simple as
a shopping list – or even
complicated numbers to
many decimal places.
Memorising numbers
Say you wish to memorise
the number Pi to the first
15 decimal places, which is
3.141 592 653 589 793.
To do this, you would
need to choose objects
to represent the numbers
one to nine. They could be
anything, but to make it
easy we will choose objects
with shapes that remind us
of each number: a candle
for 1; a swan for 2; a heart
for 3; a sailboat for 4; a
hook for 5; a golf club for
6; a flag for 7; sunglasses
for 8; and a balloon for 9.
Now split the decimal
digits into manageable
chunks, for example five
groups of three digits.
Think of each of these five
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
BRAIN BOOSTER
groups as being in or near
a specific area of your
home: the kitchen;
kitchen doorway; living
room; dining table and
TV console, for example.
Start the journey in your
kitchen. Imagine a candle
(1) to the left of the sink,
a toy sailboat (4) floating
in the sink, and another
candle (1) positioned to
the right of the sink.
Then imagine walking
towards the door to your
living room and seeing
a hook (5) on the wall, a
balloon (9) floating in the
doorway and a swan (2)
waddling through.
When you enter the
living room, visualise a golf
club (6) leaning against
a bookcase, which has
another hook (5) and a
heart-shaped bookend (3)
on a shelf.
Head towards the dining
table, where yet another
hook (5) holds a picture
on the wall. A pair of
sunglasses (8) is on the
table and a balloon (9) is
tied to one of the chairs.
Finally walk to the TV
console, which has a small
flag (7) on it. There is a
balloon (9) on the TV
screen and a heart-shaped
cushion (3) on a sofa.
Now retrace the journey
around your home – from
the kitchen to the living
room sofa – and you
should be able to recall:
a candle, sailboat and
another candle (141); a
hook, balloon and swan
(592); a golf club, hook
and heart (653); a hook,
sunglasses and balloon
(589); and a flag, balloon
and heart (793).
String these numbers
together and you have
141 592 653 589 793 –
Pi’s first 15 decimal digits.
35
 Jane O’Gorman
Our agony aunt gets to the heart of your relationship problems
He moved in – and now he’s clearing me out
My boyfriend openly takes money
from my purse and more than
once has used my debit card
without asking me. He sold some
of my handbags on the Internet
and when questioned, huffed he
was “sick of them piling up”. But
they were in my wardrobe. Since
moving in (in November) he’s
adopted a combative stance. He
clearly feels he’s entitled to
everything, on show or tucked
away. I need him to understand
Why won’t they
accept I’m gay?
I’ve told my parents I’m gay and
they’ve broken down. This is the
21st century and I can’t believe
they’re being so dramatic and
ridiculous. I’m 35 and have never
had a girlfriend, so they must
have guessed. My sister, who is
completely on my side, reports
that our mother is so shocked
and disappointed she can’t stop
crying. Has the world gone mad?
Keep talking to your parents
because they need to hear that
you’re happy and healthy and still
the same person. Your sexuality
changes nothing about how you
Sex matters
My partner torments me by
boasting his new lover is much
better than me in bed. She’s
everything I’m not, apparently
– experimental, wicked and
wild. He’d like us to split up
immediately but I’ve asked
him to wait until our youngest
goes to university in 2022.
I’m desperate to maintain a
stable home. We only have
two years to go, but he’s
acting appallingly. His lover is
a friend of mine, which makes
the betrayal doubly painful.
How can he be so cruel?
36
there are boundaries. How do I
achieve that without him accusing
me of being small-minded and
unreasonable? When friends come
round he swans about like he
owns the place – even though he’s
yet to pay me a penny in rent.
Where does helping himself stop
and stealing start? Your boyfriend
can’t presume to storm through
your life taking your money and
flogging your stuff. You and he
may be sharing your lives, but he’s
feel about them or where you all
go from here. Gay men and women
can still get married and have
children, so your mother isn’t
necessarily going to miss out on
those experiences – even if this
was all about her, which it’s not.
Give them time to get used to your
news and don’t get angry with
them just because they didn’t spot
the signs. This is an important
period of adjustment for all of you.
My future mother-in-
law is taking over
My fiancé’s dominant mother
is attempting to control every
aspect of our July wedding. From
If your home atmosphere is so
toxic, I suspect your children
already feel negatively affected.
I realise you have an end date
in mind, but maybe you need to
be more realistic and put this
relationship out of its misery
now. Sadly, if your partner is
sleeping with another woman
and torturing you with mental
cruelty, you’ve gone as far as
you can. Your children need
to hear they’re loved and
cherished and can still have
a good relationship with their
mum and dad – only separately.
definitely taking advantage. Tell
him everything has to change. He
needs to pay back the money he
owes and give you a cast-iron
promise he won’t touch your
possessions again, otherwise
I don’t see how this arrangement
can continue. If you can’t trust
him, and he can’t be reasoned
with, he could ruin you. Don’t allow
his forceful personality and sense
of entitlement to overwhelm you.
It’s not your job to bankroll him.
hogging the guest list to telling
me which dress to wear, she’s
power-crazed and monstrous.
Apparently, she always wanted
a daughter and sees in me her
chance to shine. Admittedly she’s
stumping up most of the money,
but how do we contain her when
we’re paying a heavy price in
terms of compromise and stress?
Leave your future mother-in-law in
no doubt that things have gone
too far. Politely tell her to keep her
money while you plan your day
your way. If you don’t stand up for
yourselves now, she’ll think she
can do anything she likes in future,
especially if children come along.
Obviously, you love your fiancé but
Doctor, doctor
Dr Rosemary Leonard MBE is a GP with many years’
experience working in London’s top teaching hospitals
I’m 50, have a Mirena coil
and haven’t had a period for
ages, which is great. But how
do I know if I’m menopausal?
The usual menopause test is a
check of the follicle-stimulating
hormone (FSH), produced in
the pituitary gland. Before
the menopause, the ovaries
respond to FSH by producing
oestrogen. As oestrogen levels
rise, FSH levels fall. After the
menopause, as oestrogen
levels fall, FSH levels rise. The
JANE O’GORMAN’S
ADVICE LINES
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problem? Need to improve your
relationship or sex life? Call these
new phonelines for Jane O’Gorman’s
friendly, expert advice.
NEW! Super sex
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are you absolutely sure you want
to be part of this family? Are alarm
bells ringing? I suspect you’ll have
to be very strong to establish your
own will and personality. Is your
fiancé completely behind you?
Contact Jane at S Magazine, Second Floor,
Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN or email jane.
ogorman@express.co.uk. Jane regrets that
she cannot reply personally to your letters.
Mirena coil delivers a small
amount of progesterone to
the womb lining. However, the
amount reaching other parts of
the bloodstream is small, so
FSH levels are not significantly
altered, so it can be used as
an indicator of the menopause.
Contact Dr Leonard at S Magazine,
Sunday Express, Second Floor, Northern
PHOTOGRAPH: RCD1
and Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN, or email dr.
leonard@express.co.uk. Dr Leonard
regrets that she cannot reply personally to
letters. Read her column every Tuesday in
the Daily Express.
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
 PROMISE TO BE THERE
WITH A GIFT IN YOUR WILL
A gift in your Will to Battersea is a promise to be there for 1 Send off for your free gifts in Wills
unwanted dogs and cats in the future. It’s a gift from the information pack.
heart that will change lives and help Battersea continue to
give vulnerable dogs and cats a second chance in life. 2 Promise to be there and send back
your pledge to Battersea.
Visit battersea.org.uk/wills to request
a gifts in Wills information pack.

RETURN THIS FORM OR CALL 020 7627 9300 FOR YOUR INFORMATION PACK
Mr Mrs Ms Other
The data you’ve provided will be used by Battersea Dogs
Name
& Cats Home to send you a gifts in Wills information pack.
Address For more information about how we use your data, visit
battersea.org.uk/privacy
Return form to Supporter Services:
Freepost RTLJ-ETCZ-SCCZ, Battersea Dogs & Cats Home,
4 Battersea Park Road, London SW8 4AA
Postcode AG029 Battersea Dogs & Cats Home is a charity registered in England and Wales (206394).
 Victoria Gray’s best...

White pineapple
wall sconce, £85,
Sophie Conran
(sophieconran.com)

Embroidered
pineapple pouffe,
£115, Bombay Duck

Soft
(bombayduck.com)

Fringed leopard cushion,

tropics
Subtle tropical designs to give
£34.99, Very (very.co.uk)
your home an exotic touch

Embossed vase, £39,

Cult Furniture
(cultfurniture.com)

38
 Gold palm
tree sidetable,
£245.95,
Melody Maison
(melodymaison.
co.uk)

Elizabeth
Scarlett Ananas
super king quilt,
£230, Sweetpea & Willow
(sweetpeaandwillow.com)

Woven rattan pineapple

storage basket, £69.99,
Oliver Bonas (oliverbonas.com)

Pineapple cocktail stirrers, £6.99,

Homesense (homesense.com)

White cotton
pineapple-print
chair cover, £33,
Maisons du Monde
(maisonsdumonde.com)
Jungle spirit palm house velvet
stool, £69.99, Bean Bag Bazaar
(beanbagbazaar.co.uk)

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 39

 Let there be
WHITE
Turn your house into a beautiful home,
with pale hues and elegant styling
Compiled by Victoria Gray
Above: A generous floral display on the
concrete garden table makes a
welcoming gesture in the entrance hall,
drawing the eye further into the
house, towards the curving staircase.
The collage of reclaimed French
hexagonal floor tiles gives way to
lime-washed wooden floorboards
Main picture: The lime-plastered walls
in the sitting room are a soft shade of
white, like the ceiling, with the exception
of the principal wooden cross-beams.
This creates a subtle backdrop for layers
40
of texture, from the linen-covered sofas
and cushions to the wool rugs
Far right, above: The family kitchen is a
welcoming, light-filled room decorated, like
the rest of the house, in soothing neutral
tones. The Thomas & Thomas kitchen
units are painted in Slipper Satin by Farrow
& Ball, with complementary shades on the
island and freestanding cupboards
Far right, below: A scented candle from
The White Company sits on an
early-19th century walnut-and-oak stand
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
 INTERIORS

PHOTOGRAPHS: CHRIS EVERARD

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 41

 Left: The high, exposed
ceiling enhances the
sense of space, while
lime-plastered walls
create a gentle
backdrop. Alongside
the bathtub, a little
wooden stool keeps
bathing essentials
within easy reach

Right: Spacious and

inviting, the white-
painted master bedroom
at the top of the house
opens up to the eaves.
The chaise longue at
the foot of the bed
lends a relaxed feel to
the room. The linens
used for the furniture,
bed and canopy are in
a complementary range
of tones and soften the
space still further

The White Company,

For The Love Of White:
The White & Neutral
Home by Chrissie Rucker
(£30, Mitchell Beazley).
Call the Express
Bookshop on 01872
562310 or order online
at expressbookshop.co.
uk. UK delivery is free.
The bookshop is no
longer accepting cheques
or postal orders.

42 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

 INTERIORS

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 43

44
The botanical
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

Add fruits, flowers, leaves and
seeds to perk up mealtimes
Compiled by Victoria Gray
Photographs by Polly Webster
kitchen
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
Roast duck Thai red
curry with lychees
Serves: 4
4 duck legs
2 tbsps sea salt flakes
2 tbsps coconut oil
6 banana shallots, thinly
sliced
4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1 lemongrass stalk, tough
outer layers removed and
very finely sliced
4 kaffir lime leaves (fresh or
frozen and thawed – avoid
dried), finely shredded with
the tough centre stems
discarded
400ml (14fl oz) full-fat
coconut milk
2 tbsps Thai red curry paste
4 tsps light muscovado, palm
or coconut sugar, plus extra
to taste if necessary
1 tsp ground turmeric
200ml (7fl oz hot chicken or
vegetable stock
200g (7oz) cherry tomatoes
A couple of large handfuls of
spinach leaves
Juice of ½ a lime, plus extra
to taste if necessary, and
wedges to serve
Fish sauce or dark soy sauce,
to taste
400g (14oz) can of lychees,
drained
A small bunch of Thai basil,
leaves picked, or 30g (1oz)
roughly chopped coriander
leaves, for sprinkling
● Rub the duck legs well
with salt and place them in a
single layer in a shallow dish.
If you have time, chill them in
the fridge overnight, or for a
few hours, uncovered. This
will help you get really crispy
skin. If you don’t have time
to chill them, simply rub the
salt into the duck legs when
you are ready to cook.
● Preheat the oven to 210°C
/190°C fan/412°F/gas 6-7.
● Lay the duck legs on a
wire rack above an oven tray
lined with foil then place
them in the oven and roast
for 10 minutes to crisp
the skin.
● Reduce the oven
temperature to 190°C/
170°C fan/375°F/gas 5.
FOOD
● Add a cupful of water or
stock to the oven tray, then
roast for 90 minutes until
the duck is tender and
cooked through.
● Meanwhile, heat the
coconut oil over a medium-
high heat in a large frying
pan or wok, then add the
shallots and sauté them for
5-10 minutes, until golden
and starting to soften.
● Add the garlic, lemongrass
and lime leaves and cook for
another couple of minutes
until softened and aromatic.
● Lower the heat to medium.
Add a couple of tablespoons
of coconut milk and the
curry paste, sugar and
turmeric and sauté for a
couple of minutes until
fragrant. Add a little more
coconut milk if it starts to
stick. This will help release
the aromatics in the paste
and prevent it from burning.
● Add the stock and the
remaining coconut milk then
simmer for 15 minutes until
the sauce is thick, creamy
and aromatic.
● Stir in the cherry tomatoes
and spinach and cook for
another 10-15 minutes until
the tomatoes start to break
down. Reduce the heat then
add the lime juice.
● Taste and check the
seasoning – you may want
to add some fish or soy
sauce to make it more salty,
depending on the brands of
curry paste and stock you
use. You might also want to
adjust the amount of lime
juice and sugar.
● Stir in the lychees to
briefly heat through. Keep
the sauce warm until the
duck is ready.
● When the duck is ready,
place one leg on each of
four plates.
● Divide the sauce equally
between the four plates,
pouring it over the duck legs.
Sprinkle with Thai basil or
coriander leaves.
● Serve with steamed
jasmine rice and lime
wedges.
45
 Apple, goat’s cheese, honey
and hazelnut tarts
Makes: 12
320g (11¼oz) ready-rolled puff pastry
1 egg, beaten, to glaze
300g (3½oz) soft goat’s cheese log,
sliced into 1cm (½in) rounds
3 tsps thyme or lemon-thyme leaves or
1 heaped tsp dried thyme
30g (1¼oz) hazelnuts, finely chopped
4 apples or pears, cored and cut
lengthways into 5mm (¼in) slices
5 tsps runny honey
● Preheat the oven to 220°C/200°C
fan/425°F/gas 7 and line two baking
sheets with baking parchment.
● Lay the pastry out on a worktop. Cut
it into 12 equal squares, each about
8 x 8cm (3¼in). Using a sharp knife,
lightly score a border around each
square, about 1½cm (1¼in) from the
edges, without cutting completely
through the pastry. Lightly brush
the borders of the squares with the
beaten egg.
● Place the pastry squares on the
46
prepared baking sheets, leaving 5cm
(2in) between each square.
● Lay the goat’s cheese slices over the
pastry squares, avoiding the borders.
The squares don’t have to be completely
covered in cheese, but you probably
want about 3-4 slices per square –
enough to not leave any big gaps.
Scatter half the thyme and half the
hazelnuts over the cheese.
● Place the apple or pear slices in
a bowl with 3 teaspoons of honey.
Toss together well.
● Lay the apple or pear over the top of
the cheese – 2-4 per square, depending
on the size of your fruit slices.
● Sprinkle the remaining thyme leaves
and hazelnuts over the pastries, trying
to keep them off the borders. Drizzle the
pastries with the remaining honey.
● Bake the tarts for 20-25 minutes,
until the pastry has puffed up and
turned golden, the cheese is bubbling
and the fruit is starting to become
golden and burnished. Leave to cool for
a couple of minutes before serving.
 FOOD
Banana, tahini
and white
chocolate muffins
Makes: 12
For the muffins:
200g (7oz) plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
Seeds from 8 cardamom
pods, finely ground
¼ tsp sea salt flakes
100g (3½oz) white
chocolate chips
or 1cm (½oz) pieces
of white chocolate
3 large bananas, mashed
70g (3oz) light brown
soft sugar
1 egg
50g (2oz) butter, melted
and cooled
1 tsp vanilla extract
60g (2½oz) tahini
For the tahini glaze:
2 tbsps tahini
100g (3½oz) icing sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
2 tbsps water
1 tsp sesame seeds
(a mixture of black
and white looks nice)
● Preheat the oven
to 200°C/180°C fan/
400°F/gas 6. Line a
12-hole muffin tray with
paper cases or grease
thoroughly with extra
butter if you don’t
have paper cases.
● Sift together the flour,
baking powder and
bicarbonate of soda,
then stir in the ● Transfer the muffins in 19. To order your copy call
cardamom and salt. their cases to a wire rack Express Bookshop on 01872 Reader offers
● Stir in the white to cool. 562310 or go online to Can the can
chocolate. ● Make the glaze. In a expressbookshop.co.uk. UK This set of three stacking canisters is a stylish
● In a separate bowl, small bowl, whisk together delivery is free. The bookshop solution for tea, coffee and sugar storage. Made
mash together the the tahini, icing sugar, lemon is no longer accepting from grey-finished powder-coated metal and with
bananas, sugar, egg, juice and 2 tablespoons cheques or postal orders. a bamboo silicone seal, each canister is 13x9cm
melted butter, vanilla of water. (5x3½in). Stacked, they are 27cm (10½in)
and tahini. ● When the muffins are high. To order for
● Mix the wet cool, spoon the glaze over £19.99, plus £3.95
ingredients into the the top. Sprinkle with UK mainland p&p
dry, being careful not sesame seeds and leave (£5.95, Northern
to overmix – this is the for an hour or so for the Ireland), call 0871
key to a light muffin. glaze to set before eating. ●S 664 2451 and
● Share the mixture quote 99448.
among the cases. Bake The Botanical Kitchen: Calls cost 12p
the muffins for 20-25 Cooking With Fruits, Flowers, per minute plus
minutes, until they spring Leaves And Seeds by your network
back when pressed Elly McCausland (£26, access charge.
lightly with a finger. Bloomsbury) is out on March

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 47

Culdelights
inary
Whole Earth has launched its
new Chocolate & Hazelnut
Smooth Peanut Butter spread.
Made from cocoa and
hazelnuts, the spread is
sweetened with dates and
contains no refined sugar.
The limited-edition spread has
80 per cent less sugar than
similar products and is a good
source of protein and fibre,
making it a perfect indulgent
– yet healthy – option. Buy
it for £3 for 340g from
Tesco (tesco.com).
Tried & tasted
Pilgrims Choice Vintage
Cheddar, £3.50 for 300g,
Morrisons (morrisons.com)
This cheese has a luxuriously
creamy texture with a good strong
flavour but it lacks the richness
of some of the other Cheddars.
610
48
Edited by Victoria Gray
Food experts at Marks
& Spencer have teamed up
with nutritionists to create
a range of products aimed at
improving digestion and gut
health. Fibre-enriched Eat Well
Kefir Granola Pots are available
in mango and passion fruit
and raspberry flavours. They
cost £1.10
for a 125g
pot from Marks
& Spencer stores
(marksandspencer.com).
Say cheese to some of the best vintage Cheddars around
Taste the Difference West
Country Vintage Reserve
Cheddar, £2.65 for 250g,
Sainsbury’s (sainsburys.co.uk)
The texture of this Cheddar is firm
yet creamy, with a full-bodied
savoury flavour and a subtle tang.
810
Kickstart your day with Gü’s vegan-
fresh-pressed juice. friendly
This Sage Nutri Juicer strawberry
Cold XL is up to five and rhubarb
times faster at cheesecake
extracting two litres from the
of juice than a regular Fabulously Free
cold-press juicer. The From range is
88mm (3½in) feed made with
chute allows whole plant-based
fruits and vegetables ingredients. A sweet
to be juiced, cutting fruit compote sits on a layer of Indonesian
down on preparation vanilla and coconut cream and a gluten-
time, too. Order it free crumbly biscuit base. The desserts
from John Lewis & cost £3.50 for two 95g pots from
Partners (johnlewis. Ocado (ocado.com).
com) for £279.73.
Irresistible Somerset Vintage Snowdonia Cheese Company
Cheddar, £2.69 for 200g, Black Bomber Extra
Co-op (coop.co.uk) Mature Cheddar, £4 for 200g,
A bold cheese full of intense sweet Ocado (ocado.com)
and savoury flavours, the texture Deliciously rich and tangy, this is a
is smooth, with a satisfying worthy winner – smooth and crumbly
crumble and a delicate crunch. with sweet and savoury notes.
910 1010
S MA
MAGA
AGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2
MAGAZINE
GAZ
GAZIN
ZIN 2020
 WINE

Jami e Goode
Our expert takes his pick from France’s most diverse wine region, the Loire
he Loire Valley is Waitrose Touraine Sauvignon has aromas of sweet, perfumed floral with a soft texture to the

T a beautiful French
wine region that runs
from the centre of the
country out to the west
coast, taking in a variety of areas
and wine styles. Famous for its
castles and grand stately homes,
Blanc 2018 £7.99, Waitrose,
12.5% alcohol
Touraine is a region in the Loire
that makes some great-value
wines with real personality,
and this sauvignon has crisp,
green-framed citrus and passion
cherry and blackcurrant fruit, and
is juicy, vivid and a bit salty, with
a chalky edge. Gorgeous stuff.

Sancerre 2018 £9.99, Aldi,

12.5% alcohol
There’s nice concentration and
passion fruit and melon fruity
notes, countered by some delicate
lemony lightness. There are also
hints of something more serious
and mineral, with a tingly finish.

Morrisons The Best Muscadet

this is the home of sauvignon fruit character with decent clarity here with zippy acidity, a Sevre et Maine 2018
blanc, chenin blanc and melon brightness and a dry finish. stony, mineral dimension and £8, Morrisons, 12% alcohol
de Bourgogne, the grape that crisp citrus fruit. It’s steely and From near Nantes, muscadet
makes muscadet. And then there Château du Hureau Tuffe 2017 focused, with subtle green hints. has always been considered
are the reds, which are often £14.50, tanners-wines.co.uk, the ultimate seafood wine.
fresh, leafy and delicate. Here 13% alcohol Domaine du Salvard Cheverny Well-made bottles, like this, are
I’ve chosen seven sensational A distinctive Loire red, made from 2018 £9.50, thewinesociety.com, delicious. It’s not overly fruity
wines to show the diversity the cabernet franc variety, this 12.5% alcohol – rather it’s more stony, with good
of this celebrated region. A blend
ble of sauvignon and acidity and tangy intensity.
chardonnay,
char this is pretty and
Morrisons Specially Selected
Vouvray 2018 £8.75, Morrisons,
12.5% alcohol
Vouvray is made from the chenin
blanc grape grown on special
limestone soils, and it’s often
made in an off-dry style like this.
There’s some sweetness here,
but also fresh balancing acidity,
as well as apple and lemon fruit
with a twist of wax. Clean, pure
and very tasty.

Asda Extra Special Pouilly Fumé

2018 £12.50, Asda, 13% alcohol
Pouilly-Fumé neighbours
Sancerre, and the two regions
are famous for their sauvignons.
This one has a vivid lemony
aroma with grapefruit intensity
MEGAN BRAMLEY

and a light, expressive fruity

character in the mouth – there
are lots of minerals here. ●S

SAVEE OV
VER
R 500% when you join the
The Express Wine Club, powered by Virgin Wines, is delighted to offer readers a massive £54 saving on this
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Discovery Club selection. You will receive this unless you request otherwise, and the appropriate sum (currently £89.99 + £7.99 p&p) will be charged to your credit/debit card. You
have no commitment whatsoever and may opt out from the Discovery Club at any time. All wines supplied by Virgin Wines. Company registration number 03800762. You must be
18 or over to purchase alcohol. Calls may be monitored or recorded for training purposes. For full Ts&Cs please visit www.virginwines.co.uk/ex2038
Also available as an all-red or all-white selection.

S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 49

 Alan Titchmarsh
Pots &
plans
For a dazzling spring display, get
creative with containers, says Alan
P
Double bellis
daisies lanting up a container
of cheery spring flowers
is a great way to make
the most of a patio or a
small space next to the
front door. If it’s done now – or as
soon as the weather permits – a
spring display will keep going
until the last frost is past (usually
mid to late May) and it’s safe to
replant the containers with
annual bedding to create your
summer planting scheme.
Choosing and preparing
your containers
Early spring presents many of the
same problems as winter when
it comes to container-gardening.
Choose containers that won’t
crack if they happen to freeze
Primroses overnight, since we could still have
a snap frost. Go for good-quality
polypropylene plastics, fibreglass,
Pansies or the sort of terracotta or
ceramics described as frost-proof,
or choose wooden tubs and
troughs. Since excess rain can
also be a problem, make sure
they have plenty of drainage
holes in the base.
Stand the containers in
their final positions, since
they’ll be heavy to shift once
they’re filled. Raise them up
on bricks, stones or pot feet to
improve drainage. Place a double
handful of broken crocks, stones
or coarse gravel in the base,
then half-fill the container with
multipurpose compost.
50
If the same container has
previously been used for a winter
display, you can reuse the original
compost as long as there is lots
of drainage material in the base.
Choosing and placing plants
Buy pot-grown spring bedding
plants in small three-inch pots.
Choose from polyanthus, spring
bulbs, violas, wallflowers, Persian
buttercups (ranunculus) forget-me-
nots, double bellis daisies and
gold-laced polyanthus. Not all of
these are in stock from the start
of the season, but more varieties
will become available as the
weeks progress. Water the plants
especially well at first, if their
compost seems dry.
Choose enough plants to fill the
container fairly generously. They
won’t grow much more now, so the
display needs to look finished
straight away.
Stand the pots in place inside
the part-filled container – they
should be almost touching each
other – and keep rearranging them
until you like the overall effect.
Add a ring of ivies, euonymus,
dwarf box or similar small foliage
plants to create a leafy frill round
the edge, for a more formal look,
if required.
The rims of the small pots
should come to roughly half an
GETTY IMAGES
inch below the rim of the new
container. Add or subtract
compost to bring them to the right
level, then use more compost to
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

fill the gaps between the pots and
just bury the rims. Firm it down
gently so that it supports the pots
and holds the plants upright, top
up if need be, then water just
enough to make the compost
uniformly moist. You shouldn’t be
able to see the pots.
Aftercare
Check every few days to see if
water is needed. At the same time
nip off any dead flowers and any
yellowing or brown or damaged
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
leaves to keep displays looking
their best.
When the first few plants come
to the end of their spring display,
gently lift them out. If you can,
lift each plant out of its pot,
leaving the pot in place inside the
container, then replace it with a
new plant which simply sits inside
the vacant pot, without disturbing
the rest of the display.
Keep doing this as long as
you want to keep your spring
containers going. It’s an easy and
economical way to keep a
container looking good at all
times without having to tip it out
and replant it entirely.
Don’t be tempted to start
feeding spring container displays
until the weather has turned
milder. A weak dose of well-
watered-down liquid feed
will help violas and other longer-
lasting spring bedding plants to
keep reflowering, and you should
have a lovely show from your
containers all through spring. ●S
GARDENING
Reader offers
Makes scents
Gardenia “Crown Jewel” is
a sensational hardy, dwarf
evergreen shrub that produces
masses of heavily scented white
flowers. Purchase one Gardenia
“Crown Jewel” for £13.99 or
buy two for only £19.98, saving
£8. All prices include p&p.
Order online at shop.express.
co.uk/EXP557, call 0871 664
1469 or send a cheque, made
payable to Express Newspapers,
to Express Offer EXP557, 14
Hadfield Street, Old Trafford,
Manchester M16 9FG. Delivery
is within 21 days and 9cm pot
plants are supplied.
In from the cold
Extend the growing season and
keep your plants protected from
harsh weather conditions with
WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUBSTITUTE ANY VARIETIES FOR OTHERS OF EQUAL OR GREATER VALUE
this wooden cold frame from
Garden Grow. The transparent
roof allows sunlight to
penetrate without the risk of
heat escaping and the hinged
lid allows easy access. To
order for £39.99, plus £6.95
UK mainland p&p, call 0871
664 2451 and quote 99449.
Calls cost 12p per minute plus
your network access charge.
We are unable to deliver to
Northern Ireland Scottish
Highlands, Isles or BFPO.
51
 Top fives
Fiction
1. The Boy, The Mole, The Fox
And The Horse
by Charlie Mackesy
(Ebury, £16.99)
2. The Long Call
by Ann Cleeves
(Pan, £8.99)
3. Big Sky
by Kate Atkinson
(Black Swan, £16.99)
4. How The Dead Speak
by Val McDermid
(Sphere, £8.99)
5. Tidelands
by Philippa Gregory
(Simon & Schuster, £8.99)
Non-fiction
1. Pinch Of Nom:
Everyday Light
by Kay Featherstone and
Kate Allinson (Bluebird, £20)
2. Pinch Of Nom
by Kay Featherstone and
Kate Allinson (Bluebird, £20)
3. The Five
by Hallie Rubenhold
(Black Swan, £9.99)
4. The Volunteer
by Jack Fairweather
(WH Allen, £7.99)
5. Too Scared To Tell
by Cathy Glass
(HarperCollins, £7.99)
Children’s
1. The Beast Of
Buckingham Palace
by David Walliams
(HarperCollins, £14.99)
2. Diary Of A Wimpy Kid:
The Meltdown
by Jeff Kinney (Puffin, £6.99)
3. The Ice Monster
by David Walliams
(HarperCollins, £7.99)
4. Diary Of A Wimpy Kid:
Wrecking Ball
by Jeff Kinney (Puffin, £12.99)
5. Harry Potter And The
Philosopher’s Stone
by JK Rowling
(Bloomsbury, £7.99)
52
Charlotte
Heathcote
Dazzling
returns
New fiction from prize-
winning authors Hilary
Mantel and Tayari Jones
The Mirror And The Light *****
by Hilary Mantel (Fourth Estate, £25)
The eagerly anticipated conclusion of Hilary
Mantel’s Wolf Hall trilogy will grip readers
once again with the machinations of Thomas
Cromwell and see critics falling over
themselves to garland it with superlatives.
The Mirror And The Light, following in the
wake of Wolf Hall (2009) and Bring Up The
Bodies (2012), is bookended by beheadings.
It begins with the sword stroke that did for
the unfortunate Anne Boleyn in May 1536
and concludes with Cromwell’s own grisly
execution in July 1540.
Mantel’s previous novels showed Cromwell’s
ascent whereas The Mirror And the Light deals
with his years of dominance as second in
command to Henry VIII.
Her prose is virtuosic throughout as
she builds perhaps the most complete
psychological profile of a historical figure
in contemporary British fiction.
Her Cromwell is a man of action, unapologetic
in his ruthlessness, a bruiser of a self-made
man, if one can be “self-made” as a subject of
an autocratic state embodied in a single person,
the king. But the monarch is erratic and – as
Mantel terms him in an afterword – “dangerous”.
We meet Cromwell here in his fifties. Despite
inauspicious beginnings in Putney as the son
of a brewer and tanner, his career eventually
elevates him to the position of the Earl of
Essex and to the Knight of the Garter.
His success, it is emphasised, depends
solely on the will of one man – his “cannibal
King” Henry VIII who is by turns capricious,
unpredictable and, on occasion, unsure
of his own course of action. Cromwell
thinks him “frightened of himself”.
Cromwell is the king’s blunt instrument,
consolidating the Reformation state,
repressing enemies of the church and, by
extension, enemies of Henry. He also juggles
threats abroad, both imagined and real.
Perhaps his greatest challenge, however,
is navigating the thorny business of the
monarch’s failure to produce a legitimate
heir in a dictatorial state.
Cromwell engineered Henry’s marriage to Anne
of Cleves for diplomatic purposes but, when the
marriage proves disastrous, it is the King who
undoes Cromwell in the end. And Cromwell’s
many enemies are waiting in the wings.
In fact, Mantel’s trilogy throughout might
be seen as a depiction of how a ruthless
and rationalist reformer made enemies
in the pursuit of statescraft and in so doing,
sowed the seeds of his own ruin.
While we can’t say we didn’t see it coming,
Cromwell is unaware of his fate – and it is the
immediacy with which Mantel anchors him
in the moment that lifts her trilogy from the
realms of genre fiction to the truly remarkable.
But Cromwell is defiant to the last. On the
scaffold, doomed, “He thinks of picking up the
axe and felling the headsman, but this is what
life does for you in the end; it arranges a fight
you can’t win.”
The bravura closing to the novel will linger
with readers for much longer than it takes to
navigate this tome of almost 900 pages.
The first two novels won a slew of awards and
The Mirror And The Light deserves to follow suit.
Will Mantel achieve the unprecedented feat of
a hat-trick of Booker prizes with this triumphant
conclusion to her trilogy? It matters little.
Readers will be absorbed by her Cromwell and
his world long after our prizes are forgotten.
Huston Gilmore
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020

Silver Sparrow
****
by Tayari Jones
(Oneworld,
£14.99)
Tayari Jones
won the Women’s
Fiction Prize
in 2019 for An
American Marriage.
Set in 1980s
Atlanta, it told
the story of a
husband’s wrongful
imprisonment.
In Silver Sparrow,
Jones returns
to 1980s Atlanta,
this time to delve
into the complicated
love life of James Witherspoon.
James finds himself with two wives, Gwen
and Laverne, who are respectively mothers to
his teenage daughters, Dana and Chaurisse.
He lives in a world of secrecy as he tries
to keep his two families apart and happy,
but this is a tricky ask for Gwen and Dana,
who know all about Laverne and Chaurisse.
On the other hand, Laverne and Chaurisse
are entirely unaware of the existence of
James’s second, illegal partnership, believing
that they live an ordinary life with an everyday
kind of father.
The first part of this sparky, sharp,
sorrowful novel is narrated by bright, beautiful
Dana who grew up knowing that “my father…
is a bigamist”.
Dana explains how Gwen and James met
in a department store when he was buying
Laverne a 10-year wedding anniversary present
– a knife. She tells how they fell in love, how
she came along, and how, for as long as she
can remember, James’s fathering has extended
to coming over once a week.
Chaurisse then takes over the storytelling,
revealing the melancholy truth about her
parents’ relationship. Laverne fell pregnant
aged 14 after a one-night stand with James
who wasn’t much older. A hasty marriage
followed but their affection for Chaurisse
enabled them to provide her with a stable,
loving home.
But then Chaurisse meets Dana, and their
friendship is the catalyst for an emotionally
explosive confrontation as truths are revealed
and family ties flounder in the fallout.
Eithne Farry
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
BOOKS
Natural wonders
With spring around the corner, Eithne Farry
reviews the best new nature books
1. Name
Author
Marram: Memories Of Sea These Silent Mansions: (Publisher, price)
And Spider Silk A Life In Graveyards2. Name
by Leonie Charlton by Jean Sprackland Author
(Sandstone, £12.99) (Jonathan Cape, £16.99)(Publisher, price)
Leonie Charlton headed to the Award-winning poet Sprackland
Hebrides for a three-week trip, takes a wonderfully wistful tour
accompanied by her friend Shuna, of her favourite cemeteries, tracing
two sturdy ponies and a pile the lives of the people behind the
of pink Ordnance Survey maps inscriptions on the tombstones
to plan a wandering route along and watching the wildlife that
“a necklace of granite and sand, makes its home among the graves.
schist and gneiss” where sea There are ancient yew trees
eagles and sandpipers live. bristling with poisonous needles,
Their pace is a meandering parasitic wasps, a host of holly blue
one, slow enough to take in the butterflies and bees brushed with
landscape and its ever-changing foxglove pollen. Even the graves are
weathers and colours, as Leonie graced with life, decorated with
slowly begins to reconcile herself lichens and wobbly nostoc algae.
to the loss of her mother, “full- A fascinating read.
hearted and flinty-sharp in equal
measure”, as revealed in this Wintering: How I Learned To
beautiful, meditative memoir. Flourish When Life Became Frozen
by Katherine May
Under The Stars: Journey Into Light (Rider, £14.99)
by Matt Gaw Katherine May felt that her world
(Elliott & Thompson, £12.99) was turning cold as depression
“Most people live in places dragged her under and anxiety
where the glow of artificial light gnawed away at her sense of
will trespass into their lives,” wellbeing. Over the course of a
astronomer David Warrington tells careful, mindful year, she looked
author Matt Gaw. Under starlight to nature to see what lessons she
and moonlight, in the depths of could learn, taking her cue from the
the dark forest and on the streets hibernating dormouse, the song of
of a city centre, Gaw goes on the robin and the forethought of
nocturnal adventures. He discovers honey bees. Wintering is an elegant
how light pollution disrupts the investigation into the consolations
natural cycle of dark and light and of nature and shows how it can be
affects our mental well-being. wonderfully restorative even on the
A lyrical and lovely read. bleakest of days.
To buy these books, see Express Bookshop on page 77
Special offer for S Magazine readers
Get 20 per cent off Lucy’s Law by Marc Abraham (rrp £8.99) with offer code F20.
Call 01256 302 699 or order online at mirrorbooks.co.uk. (Free p&p on orders over £15.)
Lucy, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, was born into a Welsh puppy farm in 2008.
She was bred to produce litters of cute puppies who were taken from her shortly
after birth, sold and transported many miles across the UK. Life on a puppy farm
was grim, the dogs weren’t vaccinated, loved or looked after. Lucy was rescued in
2013 and was in a terrible way. Her life turned around when she was chosen for
adoption and rehabilitated by Lisa Garner. It’s the true story of one little dog who
helped bring an end to puppy farming in the UK.
53
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T The Seal
he old woman sits in her
chair watching the river.
We’ve been together for
over two hours now and
she hasn’t said a word.
“Nice to get a bit of fresh air isn’t
it, Lily?” She doesn’t answer me,
just stares straight ahead. The
water has transfixed her. I rummage
in my pocket and pull out a bag
of sweets in an attempt to break
the tedium.
“Would you like a liquorice
allsort?” I ask, holding the bag
in front of her. “Quick, before I eat
all the blue ones.”
She shakes her head, eyes still
searching the river.
“We’ll have to be getting back
soon,” I remark, looking at my
watch and making a mental
“ka-ching!” as another £6.50
is earned. It will be £16 and
25 pence by the time I get back
to the home, enough to get the
drinks in at the bar tonight.
Lily stays silent as I munch the
rest of the sweets. She cranes her
neck as a pleasure boat passes
upstream, its passengers pointing
and waving at us as they go by.
“Have you ever been on a boat,
Lily?” I ask, remembering the
senior carer’s advice in our
induction session to “keep them
talking”. She shakes her head and
I try to think of something else to
say, something that will sustain
us on the 20-minute journey back
to the home. Then I remember a
story I read in the paper last week.
“Apparently, you get all sorts of
things in this river,” I tell her, as
I take hold of the wheelchair
handles and release the brake.
“Things you wouldn’t expect. I was
© NUALA ELLWOOD 2020 / ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES
reading about a couple of fishermen
who were out here last week. It
was early in the morning. Still
dark. They put their line out and
after a couple of minutes they felt
something tugging on it, something
heavy. They were worried it was
a dead body, but do you know
what it was, Lily?”
I watch the back of her head for
a sign of acknowledgement, a hint
that she has heard me, but there
is no movement, just a slight ruffle
as the river breeze flutters through
her soft white hair.
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
When fishermen cast their lines
into water, there’s no knowing
what they might catch…
Short story by Nuala Ellwood
“It was a seal,” I exclaim.
“A ruddy great seal.”
I crouch down next to Lily, but
just at that moment a speedboat
slices noisily through the water
and she flinches. I stand up and
steer the wheelchair away from
the jetty.
“They let it go,” I continue, as
we make our way up the towpath,
past the Victorian terraces and
towards the playing fields.
“As soon as they realised what
it was they unhooked it, said it
wasn’t injured. But I reckon it
must have been shocked. I mean
it would have to be, wouldn’t it?
Poor little soul.”
Lily mumbles something and
I lean forward. “What was that?”
She doesn’t respond; just
shrugs her shoulders. I decide
to fill in the blanks.
“You’re right,” I say, as we cut
through a cul-de-sac of bungalows.
“I bet the fishermen were shocked,
too. It’s not what you’d expect to
find at the end of your line, is it?”
As we make our way towards the
village, I point out pretty window
boxes and hanging baskets that
adorn the houses along the way.
A plump, ginger tom saunters
down one of the driveways as we
pass, then rolls on his back coyly.
“Look at him, Lily,” I say,
stopping to give him a stroke.
“There’s a pampered puss if ever
I saw one. What do you think, eh?”
Silence.
“You don’t like cats?” I say,
as I stand up and return to the
wheelchair. “Can’t say I blame
you. My nan had a cat, a big old
tabby. Vicious thing it was. Almost
scratched my eyes out once when
I tried to pick it up. I prefer dogs.
You know where you are with dogs.
Cats are too unpredictable. One
minute they’re cuddling in to you,
the next they’re at your throat.”
We turn the corner, then
I stop to press the button
at the traffic lights. As we wait
for the green man to appear, Lily
finally says something but her
words are drowned out by the
noise of the traffic.
“What’s that, Lily?” I say as
we cross to the relative quiet of
Briar Close.
“Ray liked water.”
“Ray?” I repeat, relieved to see
the mock Tudor outline of the care
home come into view. The end is
in sight. “Was that your husband?”
“He liked the water,” Lily says,
her voice animated and clear.
“That’s what I told them. I were
only a kid really, just turned 16.
But I were a looker… big blue eyes
I had, and curly dark hair like
Elizabeth Taylor. It were the
summer holidays. A heatwave.
FICTION
The only way you could cool off
was to go down to the river. That’s
what I told them.”
She talks in staccato bursts as
though she is being forced to read
the lines from a script she doesn’t
approve of.
I go to speak, to tell her not to
get herself so worked up, but
she isn’t finished and, as we reach
the double doors of Rose Vale
Nursing Home, she turns and
looks at me for the first time since
we left the river.
“He liked the water,” she says,
her watery blue eyes boring
straight into mine. “That’s what
I told ’em. When we scattered him
in the river last year.”
Before I can take in what she
has said, the doors open and
Trish, the senior carer, appears,
all smiles. She takes the
wheelchair from my grasp.
“Thanks, Harry.”
It’s my turn to be silent.
“Had a nice walk, Lily, love?”
“It were fine,” she replies,
finding her voice again. Then she
turns and meets my eye as I stand
by the door. “Except this one
talking nonsense about a seal.” ● S
Nuala Ellwood’s latest novel, The
House On The Lake (Penguin,
£7.99), is out now. See Express
Bookshop on page 77.
55
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“HERE’S Dad
and George
Martin
discussing
a recording
session in the
60s. In the
late 1950s,
Peter Sellers
was working on an album called
Songs For Swingin’ Sellers. George
got Dad in to sing a song in the
style of Sinatra so that Peter could
copy it. They ended up using Dad’s
track instead, with the pseudonym
Fred Flange. George rang and said,
‘Let’s make some music together’,
and that’s how it all started.
Sinatra thought Dad was one
of the three greatest singers in
the world. I assume he counted
himself in that, but we never found
out who the third one was.
George and Dad were so
meticulous. They’d go into the
studio knowing the key, the
musicians, the parts, breath
INTERVIEW
else at that moment, because
my dad was his great mate. He
brought with him the original score
of Michelle and had it framed. He
wrote on the cover, ‘Michele, your
dad would’ve wanted you to have
this, love George.’
People always ask me what it
was like having a famous father.
Daddy didn’t do show business
and he didn’t do parties for the
sake of it. Dad would work 14
to 16 weeks of a year with
Bruce Forsyth, Dave Allen, Jimmy
Tarbuck and Morecambe and
Wise. That’s why they became
such staunch friends.
Once I left school, I spent as
much time as I could with him.
I would make up all sorts of bribes
and partnerships with the devil to
be able to go with him when he
worked. Dad went from bus driver
to world-famous singer. Every
week, people tell me how much
they’ve been inspired by him.
There will only be one Matt Monro

control… everything. My dad
became known as ‘one-take
Monro’ and did five or six tracks in
a session. That’s why we ended up
with so many unreleased songs.
I remember the first time I went
to the recording studio. I was only
little. George tapped what looked
like a pencil and everyone went
quiet. Dad put his finger over
his lips, held my hand and sang
Michelle to me. That was the cut
that went to the shops. It was
one of the most special moments
in my life.
George Martin didn’t do cocktail
soirées, but he did come to my
book launch. He drove from
Swindon at over 80 years old and
told me he wouldn’t be anywhere
and no one else can compare.
Richard Carpenter rang me
up when I was writing Dad’s
biography. He told me it was
because of Daddy that Karen went
into the business. Rick Astley and
Robbie Williams were influenced,
too. It’s quite amazing how many
people his music touched. It’s
gone across the generations.
Dad’s music is played all the
time, thanks to the Bond movie
From Russia With Love, Born Free
and The Italian Job, too. Nobody
forgets that he did the first Bond
movie ever.
I’m very passionate that people
don’t forget his music. My brother
now sings Dad’s songs and I
became his biographer. It means
everything to me to be able to tell
his story. I had a near-fatal car
crash and as I was being cut out
of the wreckage it flashed through
my mind that my son would never
know his roots. It really upset me
and I decided then and there that
I was going to write the book.
This is Dad’s 90th anniversary
year, but it’s also the 60th
anniversary of his first hit, Portrait
Of My Love. This new album,
Stranger In Paradise, includes
songs we haven’t heard for more
than 50 years. I’m so lucky to
hear his voice. Dad never had a
number one hit in England, but the
UMC
DVD of a lost concert kicked
Eminem off the top spot, which my
son thought was the coolest thing
in the world. He got his number
one and I was so very pleased.
Dad’s talent was a gift from
God. He did every apprenticeship
you can think of, but he’d still
sing at every pub in the East End
for a few bob. He just had to
sing. I think he’d still be going if
he was here today. It’s not the
money, it’s the buzz and you can’t
replace that.” ●
S
Matt Monro: Stranger In Paradise
is out on Friday.

My favourite photograph
by Michele Monro
Matt Monro’s daughter Michele, 60, recalls the stars who loved him – including
producer George Martin – and being serenaded in the studio Words by Kirsten Jones
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 57
 GARDENING

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 What to watch This week’s best new travel, sport
and entertainment shows by Jennifer Kyte
Cheltenham Festival 2020
Starts on Tuesday, 1pm, ITV
Place your bets, four days of exciting
racing comes to our screens this week,
live from the Cheltenham 2020
Festival. Every day, ITV Racing will be
broadcasting five races across the
three-and-a-half-hour live show, hosted
by Ed Chamberlin, Francesca Cumani
plus jump jockey Sir Anthony McCoy
and presenters and style watchers

SPORT
Charlotte Hawkins and Mark Heyes.

The Great Stand Up

To Cancer Bake Off
Tuesday, 8pm, Channel 4
Rolling pins at the ready, it’s time for
celebrities to enter the Bake Off

TRAVEL
tent as they attempt to win the
Star Baker title, all in aid of
Stand up to Cancer. Paul
Hollywood and Prue Leith are
back as judges, alongside hosts
Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding
as the stars don their aprons, roll
their sleeves up and turn those
ovens on. Up for the challenge this
week are the appropriately named
Jenny Eclair, documentary star Louis
Theroux, Love Island’s Ovie Soko and
comedian Russell Howard.

STAR SPECIAL
Race Across The World
Joanna Lumley’s Hidden Caribbean: Tonight, 8pm, BBC2
Havana to Haiti Five pairs of very brave people
Tuesday, 9pm, ITV are about to embark on an
Joanna Lumley is off on another far-flung adventure in adventure of a lifetime as they
her new two-part series which will see her explore the attempt to travel from one side of
Caribbean. She kicks off her travels in true style, in the the world to the other with hardly
back of a beautiful classic car in Havana, Cuba. But behind any money and no access to
the stunning scenery, the islands are steeped in a dark phones, iPads or computers. The
past, including slavery, colonisation, natural disasters, teams will race from the bottom
sanctions and isolation. Joanna will be digging beneath of Mexico City to Ushuaia in
the surface to educate us about Cuba and Haiti, as well
as enjoying the riches the countries have to offer.
Argentina relying solely on their
determination. Will they succeed? ADVENTURE
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020 59
 BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 7.30 Match of
the Day (R) 9.00 The Andrew
Marr Show 10.00 Politics
England 10.30 The Big Questions
11.30 Bargain Hunt (R) 12.15pm
Ready Steady Cook (R)
1.00 BBC News; Weather
1.15 Songs of Praise Michelle Sloan
celebrates the Bible’s women.
1.55 Rugby Union: Six Nations
Build-Up France v Scotland.
2.30 Six Nations Rugby Union
Scotland v France (kick-off
3.00pm). John Inverdale presents
coverage of both teams’
penultimate match of the
championship, at Murrayfield.
5.30 Blue Planet II Wildlife inhabiting 5.50 Greg James’ Sport Relief
underwater kelp forests. (R)
6.30 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 Countryfile The team marks
International Women’s Day
on the Holnicote Estate in
Somerset, Hannah Jackson looks
at whether times have really
changed for women in farming.
8.00 Antiques Roadshow
Fiona Bruce presents from
Salisbury Cathedral, where
the experts assess letters from
Enid Blyton, an item of Queen
Victoria’s underwear and original
drawings of Judge Dredd.
9.00 Last Tango in Halifax (3/4)
There is chaos at the bungalow
as work begins to strip out
the old kitchen, while Alan’s
new supermarket job brings
an unexpected challenge
in the form of Harrison. An
overburdened Celia is called
upon to travel by bus, while the
giraffe continues to torment
Gillian. Derek Jacobi stars.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
10.30 Match of the Day 2 Mark
Chapman presents action
from today’s Premier League
fixtures – Manchester United v
Manchester City at Old
Trafford and Chelsea v Everton
at Stamford Bridge. Plus, a
round-up of yesterday’s goals.
11.30pm Shane Williams: Rugby,
Concussion and Me Shane Williams
heads on a journey to understand
how the world of rugby, from
grass roots to the highest levels, is
working to reduce concussions in the
modern-day game and helping to
make the sport safer for future
generations. 12.30am Weather for the
Week Ahead 12.35-6.00am BBC News
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.45am The Instant Gardener (R) 7.30
The A to Z of the RHS Chelsea
Flower Show 8.30 Countryfile
(R) 9.30 Beechgrove Repotted
10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best
Bites 11.30 Natural World:
Komodo – Secrets of the
Dragon (R) 12.30pm Triathlon:
World Series: Abu Dhabi
2.00 Lorraine’s Fast, Fresh and Easy
Food Simple baked dishes. (R)
2.30 Hairy Bikers’ Comfort Food (R)
3.15 633 Squadron (1964/PG)
Second World War drama,
starring Cliff Robertson. ★★★
4.50 Back in Time for the Corner
Shop The 1920s, 30s and 40s. (R)
Heroes The DJ meets his
heroes of the charity event. (R)
6.50 Top Gear Nepal Special
The team sets off on a high-
altitude trek from Kathmandu,
capital of Nepal, to the
Forbidden City of Lo Manthang,
a secretive kingdom perched
high on the Tibetan plateau, on
the far side of the Himalayas. (R)
8.00 Race Across the World
Five pairs of competitors
journey around the globe, with
only limited cash and no use of
modern technology. In the first
edition, the teams set off from
Mexico City, hoping to reach
the first of seven checkpoints
– Copan Ruinas in Honduras.
9.00 Dragons’ Den Hopefuls
pitching their money-making
ideas this week include a beauty
entrepreneur whose tools have
a social and practical purpose,
two low-alcohol brewers and
a footwear entrepreneur.
10.00 Dara O Briain – Voice of
Reason A chance to see
the comedian Dara O Briain’s
Voice of Reason live show
from 2019, filmed at London’s
Eventim Apollo. In the show,
Dara addresses problems with
virtual reality and having too
much technology at home. (R)
11.00pm The Ranganation Topical
comedy show. (R) 11.50 Women’s Six
Nations Highlights. The fourth round
of fixtures. 12.20am  FILM Up There
(2012/15) Comic fantasy, with Burn
Gorman. ★★★★ 1.35  FILM Valhalla
Rising (2009/15) Adventure, starring
Mads Mikkelsen. ★★★ 3.00 Question
Time (R) 4.00 Fraud Squad: The Hunt
(R) 4.45-6.00am This Is BBC Two
ITV Channel 4
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled! 9.25 ITV 6.00am The King of Queens (R) 6.50
News 9.30 Ainsley’s Caribbean Everybody Loves Raymond (R)
Kitchen (R) 10.30 Living on the 7.40 The Big Bang Theory (R)
Veg 11.30 Love Your Garden (R) 8.25 Beat the Chef (R) 9.30
12.30pm St Davids – Britain’s Sunday Brunch 12.30pm The
Smallest City Documentary. (R) Simpsons. Cartoon. (R)
1.00 ITV News; Weather 1.30 Rio 2 (2014/U) Animated
1.10 The Voice UK The third and final comedy sequel, with the voice
episode of the Battle rounds. (R) of Jesse Eisenberg. ★★★
2.30 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night 3.25 The Great Pottery Throw Down
Takeaway Jax Jones and Ella The remaining amateur potters
Henderson perform live. (R) take part in the semi-final. (R)
4.00 Liar Liar (1997/12) A boy wishes 4.30 Crufts 2020 – Best in Show
for his lawyer father to be Clare Balding returns for more
unable to lie, which comes true, coverage, live from the NEC, as
leaving the attorney struggling the build-up continues to the
with a divorce case. Comedy, overall winner being crowned
starring Jim Carrey. ★★★★ this evening, and awarded the
5.35 ITV News; Weather Keddall Memorial Trophy.
5.50 Regional News; Weather 6.30 Channel 4 News Headlines.
6.00 Dancing on Ice Phillip 7.00 Crufts 2020 – Best in Show
Schofield and Holly Willoughby Clare Balding returns with
host the grand final of the show. more coverage of the world’s
Three celebrities and their largest dog show live from the
professional partners remain NEC in Birmingham. Today’s
in the contest, and each pair theme is My Dog Saved My Life.
is challenged to perform a Momentum builds as the climax
special showcase routine, of Crufts 2020 culminates with
choreographed by Jayne one lucky dog being crowned
Torvill and Christopher Dean. Best in Show. Plus, Roman Kemp
8.00 McDonald & Dodds Part reveals how his chihuahua has
two of two. The chalk-and- helped his mental health, and
cheese detective duo are called singer Russell Watson explains
to a private clinic where a his love of dogs to Clare.
wealthy patient has been killed. 9.00 Homeland (4/12) As we’re
However, their investigation is a third of the way through
made all the more difficult by the last ever series, tonight’s
the complex relationships of the episode sees Carrie get a
victim’s former fellow residents. surprise, while Saul plans
Jason Watkins and Tala Gouveia an announcement. Thriller
take the lead roles in the second following a team of CIA agents
of two mystery dramas, with an battling terrorists and problems
all-star supporting cast including in their personal lives. Claire
Caroline Catz and Hugh Dennis. Danes and Maury Sterling star.
10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.05 Gogglebox Capturing the
10.15 Harry Redknapp’s households’ reactions to what
Sandbanks Summer Harry they are watching on TV. (R)
Redknapp welcomes Nick 11.00pm  FILM Sisters (2015/15)
Knowles and Rita Simons to Two estranged sisters are reunited
Sandbanks, where they pay a when their parents decide to sell the
visit to the nearby British house they grew up in. They return
Beach Polo Championships. (R) to the family home to clear out their
10.40 The Trouble with Maggie childhood bedrooms, but with their
Cole Six-part drama following parents away, seize the chance to
the lives of residents in the relive their teenage years and throw
close-knit coastal resort of one last wild party. Comedy, starring
Thurlbury. Starring Dawn French Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. ★★★
and Julie Hesmondhalgh. (R) 1.15am  FILM Top Secret! (1984/15) Spy
11.35pm Six Nations Highlights The spoof, starring Val Kilmer. ★★★ 2.45
fourth round of fixtures. 12.30am Come Dine with Me (R) 3.35 Homes by
Home Shopping 3.00 Australian the Med (R) 4.30 Location, Location,
Wilderness with Ray Mears (R) 3.25 ITV Location (R) 5.20 Cooking Up a Fortune
Nightscreen 5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! Children’s shows.
9.55 SpongeBob SquarePants (R)
10.10 The Loud House (R)
10.25 Britain’s Greatest Bridges (R)
10.40 WWE Raw Highlights Action
with the superstars of WWE.
11.40 Friends Five episodes. (R)
2.15pm Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords Four episodes.
A couple seek help; eviction
lawyer Chris has a complex
case; Harrow Council carries
out raids; a young mum is
locked out of her own home. (R)
6.05 5 News Update Headlines.
6.10 Building the Billion Dollar
Cruise Ship Documentary
following engineers and
designers as they race to finish
the Seven Seas Explorer. (R)
8.00 The Nightmare Neighbour
Next Door (1/10) Return of
the documentary about
disputes between neighbours,
beginning with Anton and
his wife Rita who clashed
with local actress Sharon.
9.00 Rich Holiday, Poor Holiday
(3/4) A group of wealthy friends
from Guildford, who usually
fly the globe together in
search of sophisticated cultural
experiences, take on a
fast-paced budget Benidorm
break. Meanwhile, party lovers
from London who save every
year to go to Benidorm
together find themselves in the
lap of luxury on a trip that sees
them in the slowpaced confines
of a five-star hotel on the
island of St Lucia. Each holiday
is exactly what the respective
groups normally avoid.
10.00 Secrets of First Class with
Sally & Nigel Nigel Havers and
Sally Lindsay explore different
standards of plane travel, both
as passengers and cabin crew,
as well as going through a British 12.55pm Midsomer Murders. Double bill.
Airways training programme. (R)
11.05pm Shameful! Most Shocking
Celebrity Moments Chris Pratt and
Mark Hamill are among the red-faced
stars featured in this collection of
laughs narrated by Chris Ramsey. (R)
1.00am The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show 6.50-7.00 BBC Wales Today 11.30 Mrs Brown’s
3.10 Our Dream Hotel. Two British
expats plan to open a B&B in the form
of a Spanish cave house. (R) 4.00
Eamonn and Ruth: Blowing a Fortune
(R) 4.45 House Doctor (R) 5.10 Nick’s
Quest (R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R) Scrum V Six Nations Special. Including England v 10.45 Mamwlad 11.15 Byd Pws 12.00noon Yr
GOLD
6.00am Teleshopping 7.45 The Two Ronnies 8.40
Only Fools and Horses. Double bill. 10.25  FILM
Annie (1982/U) John Huston’s musical, with
Aileen Quinn and Albert Finney. ★★★ 1.00pm
The Vicar of Dibley. Twelve episodes. 9.00 The
Royle Family 10.15 Absolutely Fabulous. Double
bill of the comedy. 11.35 300 Years of French &
Saunders 12.35am Smack the Pony. Triple bill.
2.10 300 Years of French & Saunders 3.05
Absolutely Fabulous 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 The Hurting. Double
bill. 8.00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge
9.00 Top Gear. Double bill. 11.00 Cops UK:
Bodycam Squad. Double bill. 1.00pm American
Pickers 2.00 Aussie Pickers 3.00 American Pickers
4.00 Would I Lie to You? Triple bill. 6.00 Red Bull
Soapbox Race 7.00 Border Force: America’s
Gatekeepers. Double bill. 9.00 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 10.00 QI. Panel show. 11.00
The Misadventures of Romesh Ranganathan
12.00m’t Mock the Week 12.40 Room 101.
Double bill. 2.00 Jon Richardson: Ultimate
Worrier 2.50 The Misadventures of Romesh
Ranganathan 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DRAMA
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Doctor Finlay 8.00 The
Bill. Four episodes. 12.00noon Hetty Wainthropp
Investigates. Double bill. 2.00 Cranford: Return
to Cranford. Double bill. 6.00 Miss Marple.
Double bill. 10.00 The Casual Vacancy 11.20 The
Last Post 12.20am The White Princess 1.35 New
Tricks. Double bill. 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
YESTERDAY
6.00am Secrets of the Bible 7.10 Waterloo Dead
8.00 Nazi Victory: The Post-War Plan. Five
episodes. 1.00pm Abandoned Engineering. Four
episodes. 5.00 Secrets of Britain 6.00 Murder
Maps. Double bill. 8.00 ’Allo ’Allo! Triple bill.
10.00 Bangers and Cash. A Hillman Avenger
Estate. 11.00 Abandoned Engineering 12.00m’t
Warbird Workshop 1.00 Waterloo Dead 2.00
Secrets of the Bible 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV2
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records 7.10 You’ve Been
Framed! Gold 7.40 The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
Double bill. 9.10 Dress to Impress. Triple bill.
12.15pm Celebrity Catchphrase 1.20 You’ve Been
Framed! Gold: Yearbook 2.20  FILM Step Up 3
(2010/12) Dance drama sequel, starring Rick
Malambri. ★★★ 4.35  FILM Minions (2015/U)
Animated comedy, with the voice of Sandra
Bullock. ★★★ 6.25  FILM Jurassic Park (1993/PG)
Action adventure, starring Sam Neill and Jeff
Goldblum. ★★★★★ 9.00 Ibiza Weekender
10.00 Family Guy. Triple bill. 11.25 American Dad!
Double bill. 12.25am The Cleveland Show 12.50
The Stand Up Sketch Show 1.25 Timewasters.
Double bill. 2.25 Don’t Hate the Playaz 3.15
ITV2 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV3
6.00am That’s My Boy. Double bill of the sitcom.
7.00 Coronation Street 9.55 Emmerdale. Omnibus.
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 10.00-10.30am
Politics Wales 12.30-1.00pm Weatherman
Walking: The Welsh Coast 5.30-6.30 Shane
Williams: Rugby, Concussion and Me.
Boys 12.00m’t-12.30am Live at the Apollo
BBC2 WALES As BBC2 except: 2.00pm The ITV WALES As ITV except: 12.30-1.00pm
£100K House: Tricks of the Trade. 3.00  FILM 633 Newsweek Wales. The latest headlines.
Squadron (1964/PG) Second World War drama,
starring Cliff Robertson. ★★★ 4.35 Blue Planet
II. 5.35 Greg James’ Sport Relief Heroes. 6.35
Sunday
MARCH 8
McDonald & Dodds, ITV, 8pm
4.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.00 Midsomer
Murders. A killer punishes modern-day ‘sinners’.
8.00 Paul O’Grady’s Animal Orphans 9.00 Joanna
Lumley’s Trans-Siberian Adventure 10.00 Agatha
Christie’s Poirot 12.05am Scott & Bailey. Double
bill. 2.05 The Halcyon 2.55 Emmerdale 5.15 That’s
My Boy 5.45-6.00am ITV3 Nightscreen
BBC FOUR
7.00pm  LIVE Football: SheBelieves Cup 2020.
Japan Women v England Women (kick-off
7.15pm). 9.30 Maiden: War on the Waves –
Storyville 11.00 What Do Artists Do All Day?
11.30 6 Music Festival Celebrates International
Women’s Day 12.15am Unsung Heroines: Danielle
de Niese on the Lost World of Female
Composers 1.15 Darcey Bussell: Looking for
Margot 2.15-3.15am Kiri Te Kanawa at the BBC
SKY ONE
6.00am Hour of Power 7.00 Monkey Life. Double
bill. 8.00 Modern Family. Five episodes. 10.30 The
Simpsons. Triple bill. 12.00noon Magnum P.I. 1.00
NCIS: Los Angeles. Triple bill. 4.00 The Simpsons.
Eight episodes. 8.00 Magnum P.I. 9.00 Hawaii
Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 SEAL Team
12.00m’t S.W.A.T. 1.00 The Force: Manchester
2.00 Caught on Dashcam. Double bill.
4.00-6.00am Air Ambulance ER. Double bill.
SKY ATLANTIC
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets. Double
bill. 8.00 The British 9.00 Without a Trace. Seven
episodes. 4.00pm Blue Bloods. Five episodes.
9.00 Game of Thrones. Double bill. 11.30 The
Outsider 12.35am Oz 1.50 Dolittle: Special 2.00
The Outsider 3.05 The End 3.40 Californication
4.15-6.00am The British. Double bill.
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
6.00am Killers Anonymous (2019/15) ★★★
7.45 The 2020 Top Ten Show 8.00 UFO (2018/12)
★★★ 9.45 Godzilla: King of the Monsters
(2019/12) ★★★ 12.00noon The 2020 Top Ten
Show 12.15 Brightburn (2019/15) Horror. ★★★★
2.00 This Changes Everything (2018/15) ★★★
Wales. 7.35 Top Gear Nepal Special. The team
travels from Kathmandu to the Forbidden City
of Lo Manthang. 8.50  NEW Race Across the
World. Five pairs of competitors journey
around the globe. 9.50 Dragons’ Den. Hopefuls
include a beauty entrepreneur. 10.50 The
Ranganation. Topical comedy show hosted by
Romesh Ranganathan. 11.35-11.50pm Coast
5.50-6.00pm ITV News Cymru Wales
S4C 6.00am Cyw 8.50 Penblwyddi Cyw 8.55
Pen-Blwydd Pwy? 9.00 Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol
3.45 The 2020 Top Ten Show 4.00 We Die
Young (2019/15) ★★★ 5.45 Godzilla: King of the
Monsters (2019/12) Fantasy adventure sequel,
starring Vera Farmiga. ★★★ 8.00 Brightburn
(2019/15) Superhero horror, starring Elizabeth
Banks and David Denman. ★★★★ 9.45 This
Changes Everything (2018/15) Premiere.
Documentary exploring gender discrimination
in the entertainment industry. ★★★ 11.30 We
Die Young (2019/15) Drama, starring Jean-Claude
Van Damme. ★★★ 1.15am The 2020 Top Ten
Show 1.30 Hell Is Where the Home Is (2018/18)
★★★ 3.15 The Counterfeiter (2018/15) ★★★★
5.30-6.00am Monster Family: Special
FILM4
11.00am Journey to the Center of the Earth
(1959/U) ★★★★ 1.40pm The Core (2003/12)
★★★ 4.30 Bend It Like Beckham (2002/12)
Comedy, starring Parminder Nagra and Keira
Knightley. ★★★ 6.50 Suffragette (2015/12) Period
drama, with Carey Mulligan and Helena Bonham
Carter. ★★★★ 9.00 Ghostbusters (2016/12)
Fantasy comedy, starring Kristen Wiig. ★★★
11.45-3.05am American Honey (2016/15) Drama,
starring Sasha Lane and Shia LaBeouf. ★★★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
6.00am Love From A Stranger (1937/PG) ★★★★
7.45 Peg of Old Drury (1935/U) ★★★ 9.15 Blitz on
Britain (1960/PG) ★★★ 10.30 The Saint: The
Fiction Makers (1968/U) ★★★ 12.40pm The
Young Ones (1961/U) ★★ 2.50 Miranda (1948/U)
★★★ 4.30 Smokescreen (1964/U) ★★★ 6.00
Get Some In! 6.30 Love Story (1944/U) Romantic
drama, starring Margaret Lockwood. ★★ 8.45
Glimpses: Petticoat Lane, London in the 1950s
9.00 Sunday Night at the London Palladium 10.00
Portrait from Life (1949/PG) Romantic mystery,
starring Robert Beatty and Mai Zetterling. ★★★
11.50 Hard Times (1975/15) Boxing drama, starring
Charles Bronson and James Coburn. ★★★★
1.50am West 11 (1963/PG) ★ 3.40 Mystery at
Monstein 4.15 The Scarlet Thread (1951/PG)
Thriller. ★★ 5.45-6.00am Playing in the Road
Wythnos 12.30 Dan Do 1.00 Dechrau Canu
Dechrau Canmol 1.30 Dudley ar Daith 2.30
Cwpwrdd Dillad 3.30 Codi Pac 4.30 Ffermio
5.00 Camu O’r Cysgodion: Louise Weiss 5.25
Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 7.15 Newyddion a
Chwaraeon 7.30 Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol.
Ryland Teifi embarks on a musical walk along
the coast of Ceredigion. 8.00 Priodas Pum Mil.
A dairy-themed wedding in Carmarthenshire
for Rhoswen and Peter from Trelech. 9.00
Bang. The killer targets his third victim, which
has a seismic impact on Sam and Gina’s
world. 10.00 Ein Byd 10.30-11.35pm Ysgol Ni:
Maesincla. Following the lives of pupils at
Maesincla Primary School in Caernarfon.
 BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15  NEW
Crimewatch Roadshow Live
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) 11.00 Dom Does
America (R) 11.45 Saved on
Camera 12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors Daniel and Zara have
fun trying to keep a secret.
2.15 A Service of Celebration for
Commonwealth Day Petroc
Trelawny presents live coverage
from Westminster Abbey.
4.00 Money for Nothing (1/30) Sarah
Moore rescues two items from
a recycling centre in Witley.
4.30 Ready Steady Cook Two friends 6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
take part in the culinary contest.
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz. (R)
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 The One Show With
Alex Jones and Matt Baker.
7.30 Inside Out Series focusing
on regional stories of interest.
8.00 EastEnders Jean accuses Suki
of lying, Gray’s day goes from
bad to worse and Linda is
hurt when she finds Mick
searching for stashed alcohol.
8.30 The Million Pound
Disability Payout –
Panorama Investigating why
the DWP has paid its own
employees nearly a million
pounds in tribunal pay-outs and
out-of-court settlements for
disability discrimination.
9.00 MasterChef John Torode
and Gregg Wallace preside
as six more hopefuls compete
in the third week of heats,
getting their first chance to
win an apron by serving up
their signature dish.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
10.35 This Country (4/6) Kurtan
receives sad news about a
relative and tries to make some
new memories, while Kerry
discovers a passion for reading
and joins the vicar’s book club.
11.05pm Young, Welsh and Pretty
Minted Erin Budina works in a recycling
depot as part of a YouTube challenge,
while the programme meets a
20-year-old who is an up-and-coming about to have surgery, and a 17-year-
supplier of dog biscuits. 11.35 Live at old with cerebral palsy as she reaches
the Apollo. Eddie Izzard hosts an
evening of stand-up, introducing sets
by The Last Leg’s Josh Widdicombe
and South African comic Trevor Noah. in Powburn. (R) 1.00 Countryfile (R)
(R) 12.20am Weather for the Week
Ahead 12.25-6.00am BBC News
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.00am Money for Nothing (R) 6.45
Ready Steady Cook (R) 7.30 Best
Home Cook (R) 8.30 The Week
in Parliament 9.00 BBC News at
9 10.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00
BBC Newsroom Live 12.15pm
Politics Live 1.00 Women’s Six
Nations Highlights (R) 1.30 Best
House in Town (R) 2.15 Royal
Recipes (R) 2.30 Terry and
Mason’s Great Food Trip (R)
3.00 Red Rock Irish crime drama. (R)
3.45 The Great Interior Design
Challenge Tiny bedrooms. (R)
4.45 Portillo’s State Secrets (R)
5.15 Flog It! From Dover Castle.
Games With Hugh Dennis.
6.30 Great British Railway Journeys
Warwick to Radley. (R)
7.00 Coastal Path Paul Rose
explores the coastline of
southern Cornwall. (R)
7.30 Mastermind Four contenders
answer questions on the
specialist subjects of Laura
Ingalls Wilder, Star Trek: The
Original Series, Jenson Button,
and Mary, Queen of Scots.
8.00 Only Connect Victoria
Coren Mitchell presents the
first semi-final of the quiz.
8.30 University Challenge The
quarter-final matches continue
as two more teams compete
to make it to the next stage
of the competition. Jeremy
Paxman asks the questions.
9.00 Miriam’s Big Fat Adventure
Part one of two. Miriam
Margolyes travels the nation to
learn why so many people are
overweight, despite information
available on healthy lifestyles.
10.00 Inside No 9 (6/6) A police
community support officer
begins to ask awkward
questions about the death
of a colleague’s ex-partner.
Starring Steve Pemberton
and Reece Shearsmith.
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of
the day’s important stories,
presented by Emily Maitlis.
11.15pm Hospital Following a baby
adulthood and leaves the hospital’s
care. (R) 12.15am The Farmers’ Country
Showdown. Following sheepdog trials
2.00 Secrets of the Museum (R)
3.00-6.30am This Is BBC Two
ITV Channel 4
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Good Morning Britain 6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
News and lifestyle features. Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news. Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
10.00 This Morning A mix of celebrity (R) 10.10 Undercover Boss
chat and lifestyle features. Canada (R) 11.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA (R)
12.30pm Loose Women Topical chat. 12.05pm Come Dine with Me (R)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
1.55 Regional News; Weather 2.10 Countdown Word game.
2.00 Judge Rinder Criminal barrister 3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
Robert Rinder takes on real-life 4.00 A New Life in the Sun:
cases in a studio courtroom. Where Are They Now? (R)
3.00 Tenable Five members of an a 5.00  NEW Four in a Bed The
cappella group compete. (R) Bankfoot Inn in Perthshire.
4.00 Tipping Point Gameshow, 5.30  NEW Come Dine with Me
presented by Ben Shephard. (R) Dinner parties in Edinburgh.
5.00 The Chase Steve, Virinder, Julie 6.00 The Simpsons Cartoon. (R)
and Pat take on a quiz genius. (R) 6.30 Hollyoaks When Warren goes
6.00 Regional News; Weather missing, Mercedes worries that
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather she has put him in danger. (R)
7.00 Emmerdale Charity betrays 7.00 Channel 4 News Including
Vanessa, Arthur is relieved when the latest sport and weather.
Laurel agrees to keep their 8.00 Celebs for Sale: The
secret, and Malone traps Will. Great Charity Scandal –
7.30 Coronation Street Gary asks Dispatches Reporter Antony
Sharon to teach Ali a lesson, and Barnett sets up a fake charity
a reporter asks James about and goes undercover to reveal
rumours regarding his sexuality. how some of the most famous
8.00 St Davids – Britain’s people in Britain are charging
Smallest City (2/6) The huge fees to support charities.
summer holidays lead to chaos 8.30 Food Unwrapped Kate
on the high street and a water Quilton discovers how oysters
shortage could spell disaster turned from a Victorian bar
for some of the residents of snack to an expensive luxury,
the tiny Welsh cathedral city. while Amanda Byram uncovers
8.30 Coronation Street Gary the difference between
leaves a message for Sharon, and medium and large eggs.
James receives a worrying text. 9.00 24 Hours in A&E Cases
9.00 Liar (2/6) Feeling the full force include a 52-year-old cyclist
of DI Renton’s investigation, who is rushed in to St George’s
Laura looks to those closest to Hospital after being hit by a
her for support, but when car, and a 92-year-old former
suspicions fall on Ian, she is left Baptist minister who is admitted
questioning who she can trust. after a fall while out walking.
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather 10.00 Baghdad Central (6/6) Khafaji
A fresh perspective on the realises that he must get his
major stories of the day. family out of Iraq. Both of his
10.30 Regional News; Weather daughters need rescuing, so
10.45 Police in Danger: Caught he plans an audacious trap for
on Camera A look at what Frank Temple and Douglas Evans,
happens when police officers though it remains to be seen
charged with keeping the whether it will succeed or there
public safe come under might be one final casualty.
attack themselves, featuring 11.00pm Emergency Helicopter
footage filmed by body Medics A motorcyclist is brought in
cameras worn by officers. (R) after an accident. (R) 12.00m’t Ramsay’s
11.45pm All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite Kitchen Nightmares USA. The chef
Action from the latest edition of the visits a restaurant serving tinned food.
weekly AEW event. 12.35am Home (R) 12.50 Hunted (R) 1.45 The Supervet
Shopping 3.00 James Martin’s French (R) 2.40 Come Dine with Me (R) 3.35
Adventure. The chef visits the region Grand Designs (R) 4.30 Location,
of Camargue. (R) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen Location, Location (R) 5.25 Cooking Up
5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R) a Fortune (R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News
at Lunchtime 12.15 Parking Hell:
At War with the Law (R) 1.10
Access. Showbiz news.
1.15 Home and Away See 6.00pm.
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 Secrets at the Lake (2019/PG)
Premiere. Thriller, starring
Nicky Whelan. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Finn talks David
into allowing him to pay
Harry a visit in prison. (R)
6.00 Home and Away Robbo is
terrified as he is marched to
a cliff edge at gunpoint. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Gallagher Premiership
Rugby Highlights Action
from the 13th round of fixtures,
including Worcester Warriors v
Northampton Saints, and
Bristol Bears v Harlequins.
Followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Traffic Cops (24/24) Ant
Horsley and Dan Mitchell are on
the hunt for a disqualified driver
after a police camera alerts
them to the whereabouts of his
car, while Dave Shaw responds
to a report of a stolen vehicle.
Followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Warship: Life at Sea (5/5)
HMS Duncan and her crew face
increasing pressure in the Strait
of Hormuz as Iran steps up its
efforts to capture a second
British tanker. When a fire
breaks out in the engine room,
it threatens the ship and the
lives of some of the crew.
10.00 HMS Victory: Nelson’s
Great Warship Rob Bell
reveals the secrets of the
historic ships that shaped
the nation, beginning with
the story of HMS Victory,
Admiral Nelson’s flagship at
the Battle of Trafalgar. (R)
11.00pm  FILM Con Air (1997/18) A
parolee on his flight home intervenes
when some of America’s deadliest
criminals hijack the plane. Action
thriller, with Nicolas Cage and John
Cusack. ★★★★ 1.15am The 21.co.uk Live
Casino Show 3.15 Our Dream Hotel (R)
4.10 Tribal Teens – Here Comes
Trouble (R) 4.55 House Doctor (R) 5.25
Great Scientists. Aristotle. (R)
5.50-6.00am Access. Showbiz news.
GOLD
6.00am Teleshopping 7.25 The Piglet Files 7.50 As
Time Goes By 8.25 The Good Life 9.00 Porridge
9.40 Hi-de-Hi! 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine.
Triple bill. 12.20pm Keeping Up Appearances
1.00 Porridge 1.40 Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 The Good Life
3.00 Keeping Up Appearances 3.40 Dad’s Army
4.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill.
6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Dad’s
Army. Double bill. 9.00 Gavin & Stacey 9.40 Mrs
Brown’s Boys 10.20 Live at the Apollo 11.20
Sandylands 12.00m’t Peep Show. Double bill. 1.10
Gavin & Stacey 1.50 Live at the Apollo 2.40 Peep
Show. Triple bill. 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Eat Your Heart Out
with Nick Helm. Double bill. 8.00 American
Pickers 9.00 Storage Hunters UK. Double bill.
10.00 American Pickers. Double bill. 12.00noon
Timber Kings 1.00 Top Gear 2.00 Border Force:
America’s Gatekeepers 3.00 Scrapyard Supercar
4.00 Top Gear. Double bill. 6.00 Taskmaster 7.00
Room 101. Double bill. 8.20 Have I Got a Bit More
News for You 9.20 QI 10.00 Room 101 10.40 Meet
the Richardsons 11.20 Mock the Week 12.00m’t
Taskmaster 1.00 Have I Got a Bit More News for
You 2.00 QI 2.40 Go 8 Bit: DLC. Double bill. 3.40
The Indestructibles 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DRAMA
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Soldier, Soldier.
Double bill. 9.00 The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City
11.00 Classic Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00
Classic EastEnders. Double bill. 2.20 London’s
Burning 3.20 Monarch of the Glen 4.20 Bergerac
5.25 Bread 6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As Time Goes By
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine 8.00 Dalziel &
Pascoe 10.00 New Tricks 11.20 Waking the Dead
1.55am The Bill 2.55-4.00am London’s Burning
YESTERDAY
6.00am Secrets of the Bible 7.10 Secrets of the
Railways 8.00 Forbidden History 9.00 Secret Nazi
Bases 10.00 Nazi Victory: The Post-War Plan 11.00
Underground Worlds 12.00noon Impossible
Railways 1.00 Secrets of Britain 2.00 The Lakes:
Walking Through History 3.00 Underground
Worlds 4.00 Impossible Railways 5.00 Secret Nazi
Bases 6.00 Nazi Victory: The Post-War Plan 7.00
Underground Worlds 8.00 Chris Tarrant: Extreme
Railway Journeys 9.00 Bangers and Cash. British
classics at auction. 10.00 Trains That Changed
the World 11.00 The Two Ronnies. Double bill.
12.30am Nazi Victory: The Post-War Plan 1.30
Secrets of the Bible 2.25 David Attenborough’s
Natural Curiosities 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV2
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 Coronation Street
9.20 Superstore. Double bill. 10.15 Dinner Date
11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm Emmerdale 12.45
Coronation Street 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 2.45 Dinner Date 3.50 Dress to Impress
4.50 Take Me Out 6.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold. Four episodes. 8.00 Two and a Half Men.
Double bill. 9.00 Family Guy 9.30 American Dad!
10.00 The Stand Up Sketch Show 10.30 Family
Guy. Double bill. 11.30 American Dad! 11.55 The
Cleveland Show 12.25am Two and a Half Men.
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30-7.00pm
BBC Wales Today 7.30-8.00 X-Ray. Rachel
Treadaway-Williams takes up the case of a
motorist facing a £10,000 bill because of a
£10 oil filter. 10.35 Young, Welsh and Pretty
Minted. Erin Budina works in recycling depot
as part of a YouTube challenge, while the
programme meets a 20-year-old who is one
of Europe’s up-and-coming suppliers of dog
biscuits. 11.05-11.35pm This Country
ITV WALES As ITV except: 1.55-2.00pm ITV
News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News Wales
Monday
MARCH 9
MasterChef, BBC One, 9pm
Double bill. 1.25 Hey Tracey! Comedy quiz. 2.05
Plebs. Double bill. 3.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV3
6.00am Classic Coronation Street. Double bill.
6.55 Classic Emmerdale. Double bill. 7.55
Heartbeat 8.55 Man About the House. Double
bill. 10.00 That’s My Boy 10.30 A Touch of Frost
12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic Emmerdale.
Double bill. 2.50 Classic Coronation Street.
Double bill. 3.55 Midsomer Murders 5.55
Heartbeat 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00
Endeavour 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 A Touch of
Frost. Double bill. 3.00am That’s My Boy 3.25
ITV3 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
BBC FOUR
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 Francesco’s
Mediterranean Voyage 8.00 Dynasties 9.00 Age
of the Image 10.00 Suffragettes with Lucy
Worsley 11.30 Art of France 12.30am Britain’s
Outlaws: Highwaymen, Pirates and Rogues 1.30
Rude Britannia 2.30-3.30am Age of the Image
SKY ONE
6.00am Monkey Life. Double bill. 7.00 RSPCA
Animal Rescue. Double bill. 8.00 The Dog
Whisperer 9.00 Stop, Search, Seize 10.00
Highway Patrol. Double bill. 11.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles. Double bill. 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0.
Double bill. 3.00 MacGyver 4.00 Modern Family.
Double bill. 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama.
Double bill. 6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill. 8.00
Flintoff: Lord of the Fries 9.00  FILM Jack Reacher
(2012/12) Action thriller, starring Tom Cruise.
★★★ 11.25 The Trip to Greece. Double bill.
12.35am Avenue 5 1.10 Strike Back: Vendetta
2.10 A League of Their Own. Panel show. 3.10 Jett
4.30 Stop, Search, Seize 5.30-6.00am Futurama
SKY ATLANTIC
6.00am The Guest Wing 7.00 Without a Trace.
Triple bill. 10.00 The West Wing. Double bill.
12.00noon Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation 2.00 The West Wing. Double bill.
at Six 8.00-8.30 Wales This Week 10.30 ITV
News Cymru Wales 10.45 Sharp End. Adrian
Masters and guests discuss the latest political
developments in Wales, Europe and
Westminster. 11.15-11.45pm Wales on TV
S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 12.05 Ysgol Ddawns Anti Karen
12.30 Heno 1.30 Nyrsys 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 3.05 Ysgol Ni: Maesincla 4.00 Awr
Fawr: Bing. 4.10 Timpo 4.20 Jen a Jim Pob Dim
4.35 Patrol Pawennau 4.45 Cacamwnci 5.00
Stwnsh: Pat a Stan 5.05 Mwy o Stwnsh Sadwrn
5.25 Sgorio 5.50 Ffeil 6.00 Cerys Matthews a’r
Goeden Faled. The origins of Ar Hyd y Nos and
4.00 Without a Trace. Triple bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Bloods. Jamie takes
a second job. 9.00 The Outsider 10.05 The End
10.40 True Blood. Double bill. 1.00am The L
Word: Generation Q 2.10 Oz 3.25 Californication
4.00-6.00am The West Wing. Double bill.
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
6.00am Straight Up (2019/15) ★★★★ 7.45 Killers
Anonymous (2019/15) ★★★ 9.30 UFO (2018/12)
★★★ 11.15 This Changes Everything (2018/15)
★★★ 1.00pm Brightburn (2019/15) ★★★★ 2.45
Doom: Annihilation (2019/15) ★★★ 4.30 We Die
Young (2019/15) Drama. ★★★ 6.15 This Changes
Everything (2018/15) ★★★ 8.00 Brightburn
(2019/15) Horror. ★★★★ 9.45 Doom: Annihilation
(2019/15) ★★★ 11.30 We Die Young (2019/15)
★★★ 1.15am Hell Is Where the Home Is (2018/18)
★★★ 2.45 Mapplethorpe (2018/18) ★★★
4.30 The Hurricane Heist: The Eye of the Storm
5.00 Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile:
Special 5.30-6.00am Hotel Mumbai: Special
FILM4
11.00am Millions Like Us (1943/U) ★★★★ 1.05pm
The Longest Day (1962/PG) ★★★★ 4.40 The
Thirty-Nine Steps (1978/PG) ★★★ 6.45 Now
You See Me (2013/12) ★★★ 9.00 Taken (2008/15)
★★★ 10.50 Anthropoid (2016/15) ★★★★
1.10-3.00am The Bling Ring (2013/15) ★★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
6.00am House of Blackmail (1953/12) ★★★ 7.25
One Man, One Dog 7.40 Police Dog (1955/PG)
★★★ 9.10 Glimpses 9.30 Where There’s a Will
(1955/U) ★★ 11.00 Richard Diamond 11.30 The
Devil-Ship Pirates (1964/PG) ★★★ 1.15pm The
New Lot 2.05 A Man About the House (1947/PG)
★★ 3.55 Angels One Five (1953/U) ★★★ 5.55 I’m
All Right Jack (1959/U) ★★★★★ 8.00 Danger
UXB 9.00 Special Branch 10.00 Peeping Tom
(1960/18) ★★★★★ 12.00m’t Station Six – Sahara
(1963/15) ★★★ 2.00 Danger Lights (1930/PG)
★★★ 3.30 They Also Serve 3.40 Out of the Fog
(1962/PG) Drama. ★★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms
Pererin Wyf 6.30 Heno 7.30 Newyddion
S4C a’r Tywydd 8.00 Pobol y Cwm. Gerwyn
moves to Maes y Deri. 8.25  NEW Helo Syrjeri.
Life at Blaenau Ffestiniog’s health centre.
8.55 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 9.00 Ffermio
Agricultural issues. 9.30 Ein Byd. Concerns
that paramilitary activity may emerge once
again in Northern Ireland. 10.00 Elis James: Cic
Lan Yr Archif. The comedian looks back through
Welsh film and TV archives, beginning by
exploring how technology has shaped Wales.
10.30 Cynefin. Heledd Cynwal, Iestyn Jones and
Sion Tomos Owen visit St Davids, the smallest
city in the British Isles and one of Wales’
holiest places. 11.30pm-12.05am Ar Werth
 BBC One BBC Two ITV Channel 4
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101 FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102 FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Crimewatch 6.30am Bargain Hunt (R) 7.15 Ready 6.00am Good Morning Britain 6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
Roadshow Live 10.00 Homes Steady Cook (R) 8.00 Spy in the 9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news. Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
Under the Hammer 11.00 Dom Wild (R) 9.00 BBC News at 9 10.00 This Morning Celebrity chat Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
Does America (R) 11.45 Saved on 10.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 and lifestyle features. (R) 10.10 Undercover Boss
Camera 12.15pm Bargain Hunt (R) BBC Newsroom Live 12.15pm Canada (R) 11.05 Ramsay’s
12.30pm ITV Lunchtime News ; Kitchen Nightmares USA (R)
1.00 BBC News; Regional News Politics Live. The latest updates. Weather The latest headlines.
1.45 Doctors Al and Emma search for 1.00 The Super League Show 12.05pm Come Dine with Me (R)
a breakthrough in Jimmi’s case. 12.50 Regional News; Weather 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
1.50 Best House in Town (R) 1.00 ITV Racing: Cheltenham
2.15 Five Bedrooms (1/8) Five loosely 2.10 Countdown Word game.
2.35 Terry and Mason’s Great Festival The opening day of
connected friends decide to club Food Trip From Chester. (R) 3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
together to get on the property the festival, including feature 4.00 A New Life in the Sun: Where
ladder. Drama, with Kat Stewart. 3.00 Red Rock Irish crime drama. (R) race the 3.30 Unibet Champion Are They Now? Catching up
3.00 Escape to the Country A couple 3.45 The Great Interior Design Hurdle Challenge Trophy, plus with a fisherman in Spain. (R)
look for a home in Yorkshire. Challenge Makeover series. (R) races at 1.30, 2.10, 2.50 and 4.10. 5.00 Four in a Bed At Langley Dam
3.45 Money for Nothing (6/20) Items 4.45 Portillo’s State Secrets (R) 4.30 Tipping Point: Best Ever Finals glamping site in Hexham.
include a broken games table. 5.15 Flog It! At Bristol Cathedral. (R) Compilation edition of the quiz. 5.30 Come Dine with Me
4.30 Ready Steady Cook Culinary 6.00 Richard Osman’s House of 5.00 The Chase Quiz show, hosted 6.00 The Simpsons Mr Burns’
contest, with Rylan Clark-Neal. Games Trivia-based quiz show. by Bradley Walsh. (R) long-lost son reappears. (R)
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz. (R) 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys 6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 Hollyoaks A funeral wreath is
6.00 BBC News; Regional News A trip from Warwick to Rye. (R) 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather left on Mercedes’s door. (R)
7.00 The One Show Alex Jones 7.00 Race Across the World 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel is torn 7.00 Channel 4 News Including
and Matt Baker present another Five pairs of competitors when Jai thinks they should sport and weather.
mix of nationwide reports journey around the globe, with move in together, and Victoria 8.00 The Great Celebrity
and live studio-based chat on only limited cash and no use decides to get Harry christened. Bake Off for Stand Up to
the topical magazine show. of modern technology. In the 7.30 Dr Ranj: On Call The GP Cancer New series. The first
7.30 EastEnders Jay pops the first edition, the teams set introduces viewers to some in a series of charity editions
question to Lola, Gray reveals off from Mexico City. (R) of the young patients in the of the culinary challenge.
he is planning to represent 8.00 Back in Time for the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit, at Tonight’s contestants are
Whitney, and Rainie’s past Corner Shop (3/6) Billy Bragg the Evelina Children’s Hospital. documentary maker Louis
comes back to haunt her when pays the Arderns a visit as they 8.00 Love Your Garden Theroux, comedians Jenny Eclair
an ex-client arrives at Coker’s. get to grips with 1960s life, Alan Titchmarsh and the team and Russell Howard, and athlete
8.00 Holby City Cameron sets encountering skiffle music, hula create a cleverly designed family Ovie Soko, who are challenged
out to make a good impression hoops and sliced bread. The garden that is fun for pre-school to make a giant biscuit, a classic
during a hectic day at work, decade also brought about a tots without being a primary- bake, and a choux sculpture
unaware that a suspicious Xavier seismic change in shopping with coloured plastic eyesore for depicting their perfect day.
has unearthed a shocking the introduction of self-service. the grownups who share it. 9.15 Five Guys a Week
secret that could ruin him. 9.00 Miriam’s Big Fat Adventure 9.00 Joanna Lumley’s Hidden Dating show in which a single
9.00 The Split (5/6) Hannah’s affair Part two of two. Miriam Caribbean: Havana to Haiti girl invites five men who are
is now out in the open, and Margolyes sets out to find out Part one of two. The actress looking for love to move into
she desperately tries to make what is being done to combat travels across two of the most her home and live with her for
amends to the people she has obesity, and meets people enigmatic countries in the a week, all at the same time.
deceived and save her marriage. who are going to extreme Caribbean – Cuba and Haiti – to On each day she eliminates one
Meanwhile, secrets come to and sometimes controversial explore, uncover and share the of them, whittling them down
light in the Hansen case. lengths to lose weight. hidden gems they have to offer. to the last man standing.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.00 Better Things (10/12) Sam has 10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather 10.15 The Windsors (3/6) Charles
10.35 Beauty Laid Bare (2/3) The some girl time with friends, but A fresh perspective on the puts his political beliefs to the
group of four questions the true is less than happy when Lala’s major stories of the day. test by befriending a blind man
cost of the beauty industry. In husband returns home early. 10.30 Regional News; Weather who does not know who he is.
search of answers they meet At home, Duke is concerned 10.45 Tyson Fury: The Gypsy 10.45 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
farmers in Mexico supplying the about the presence of her late King Following his win over Countdown Sean Lock
industry and the homeless grandfather in her bedroom. Otto Wallin, Fury takes part and Sara Pascoe take on
community in Skid Row. 10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the in a WWE bout, finally has a special guest team captain
11.20pm War on Plastic with Hugh and day’s events, with Emily Maitlis. rematch with Deontay Wilder Alan Carr and Tom Allen. (R)
Anita Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and 11.15pm Tigers: Hunting the Traffickers confirmed and parts ways 11.45pm First Dates Healthcare
Anita Rani explore the gigantic problem Aldo Kane reports on the illegal tiger with trainer Ben Davison. (R) assistant Anthony wants to put his
of plastic waste pollution, finding out trade in Southeast Asia, with the 11.45pm Tenable A team of five singers past behind him. (R) 12.45am Ramsay’s
where it is coming from and what can endangered big cats trafficked for answers questions about top 10 lists. Kitchen Nightmares USA (R) 1.35  FILM
be done to solve the issue. Working products including wine and glue. (R) Hosted by Warwick Davis. (R) 12.40am Good Kill (2014/15) Drama, starring
with residents of a street in Bristol, 12.15am Win the Wilderness: Alaska (R) Home Shopping 3.00 The Home Ethan Hawke. ★★★★ 3.20 Come Dine
Anita quickly identifies supermarkets 1.15 Murder, Mystery and My Family. Game. A garden makeover is planned, with Me (R) 4.15 Location, Location,
as the main source of single-use A Leeds landlady, apparently killed by aiming to save a Devon mother from Location (R) 5.10 Cooking Up a Fortune
plastics. (R) 12.15am Weather for the her lodger. (R) 2.00 Island Medics (R) going potty. (R) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen (R) 5.35 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures
Week Ahead 12.20-6.00am BBC News 2.45-6.30am This Is BBC Two. Previews. 5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R) (R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords. A landlord calls in
eviction specialists. (R) 12.10pm
5 News at Lunchtime 12.15
Parking Hell: At War with the
Law (R) 1.10 Access. Showbiz.
1.15 Home and Away See 6.00pm.
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.20 A Neighbour’s Obsession
(2017/12) Thriller, starring Michael
Welch and Haylie Duff. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Finn discusses his
visit to Harry, and Elly tries
to keep out of his way. (R)
6.00 Home and Away Mason’s death
devastates Justin and Tori. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Britain: A Year in the Wild
Cameras capture intimate views
of a family of beavers in Devon,
and the programme explores
how these natural engineers
alter their landscape to help
themselves and other species.
Plus, footage of grass snakes.
Followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Dogs Behaving (Very)
Badly (10/10) A rescue dog from
Romania presents Graeme Hall
with a challenge – since it is
afraid of men, it is impossible
for him to get anywhere near it.
Followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Elizabeth I and II:
Britain’s Golden Queens
Part one of two. Examining
whether there are similarities
between the two monarchs,
from their ascensions to the
throne to the battles they
faced to protect their reigns.
10.00 The Royal Family at War
Part two of two. Penny Junor
recalls the rift between the
Queen and the Duchess of
Cornwall, while Princess
Margaret’s relationship with
Peter Townsend is assessed. (R)
11.15pm Shannon Matthews: The
Mother’s Story Uncovering the truth
of the woman at the centre of her
own daughter’s kidnapping. (R) 12.15am Today 9.00-10.00 Hidden. Cadi issues a warrant Camera. What happens when police officers
When Kids Kill: Copycat Killers. A nurse for Mia’s arrest when a body is found at a
is murdered by an 18-year-old, possibly remote petrol station outside Blaenau Ffestiniog. under
influenced by a violent video game. (R) 10.35 The Split. Hannah’s affair is now out in the S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C
1.10 The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show
3.10 Our Dream Hotel (R) 4.00 Tribal
Teens – Here Comes Trouble (R) 4.45
House Doctor (R) 5.10 Great Scientists Minister’s Questions. AMs’ questions to the First Blociau Rhif 4.05 Nico Nog 4.15 Sbarc 4.30 Blero
(R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R)
GOLD
6.00am Teleshopping 7.25 The Piglet Files 7.50 As
Time Goes By 8.25 The Good Life 9.00 Porridge
Tuesday
MARCH 10
9.40 Hi-de-Hi! 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine.
Triple bill. 12.20pm Keeping Up Appearances 1.00
Porridge 1.40 Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 The Good Life 3.00
Keeping Up Appearances 3.40 Dad’s Army 4.20
Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill. 6.20 The
Good Life 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Dad’s Army. Double
bill. 9.00 Mrs Brown’s Boys 9.40 Gavin & Stacey
10.15 Live at the Apollo 11.20 Sandylands 12.00m’t
Peep Show. Double bill. 1.05 Live at the Apollo
2.05 Peep Show. Double bill. 2.55 The Rebel
3.30 The Piglet Files 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Eat Your Heart Out
with Nick Helm. Double bill. 8.00 American
Pickers 9.00 Storage Hunters. Double bill. 10.00
American Pickers. Double bill. 12.00noon Timber
Kings 1.00 Top Gear 2.00 Cop Car Workshop
3.00 Scrapyard Supercar 4.00 Top Gear. Double
bill. 6.00 Taskmaster 7.00 Room 101. Double bill.
8.20 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 9.20 Joanna Lumley’s Hidden Caribbean: Havana to Haiti, ITV, 9pm
QI 10.00 Taskmaster 11.00 Hypothetical 12.00m’t
Taskmaster 1.00 Have I Got a Bit More News for
You 2.00 QI 2.40 Go 8 Bit: DLC. Double bill. 3.30 ITV3 4.00 Without a Trace. Triple bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime
The Indestructibles 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Bloods 9.00 Save
6.00am Classic Coronation Street. Double bill. Me 10.00 The L Word: Generation Q 11.05 Six
6.55 Classic Emmerdale. Double bill. 7.55
DRAMA Feet Under. Double bill. 1.35am Oz. Double bill.
Heartbeat 9.00 Man About the House. Double
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Soldier, Soldier. bill. 10.00 That’s My Boy 10.30 A Touch of Frost 3.45 Californication 4.20-6.00am The West Wing
Double bill. 9.00 The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City 12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic Emmerdale.
11.00 Classic Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00 SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
Double bill. 2.50 Classic Coronation Street. 6.00am The Counterfeiter (2018/15) ★★★★
Classic EastEnders. Double bill. 2.20 London’s Double bill. 3.55 Midsomer Murders 5.55 Heartbeat
Burning 3.20 Monarch of the Glen 4.20 Bergerac 8.15 Monster Family: Special 8.45 We Die Young
6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 Midsomer (2019/15) ★★★ 10.30 This Changes Everything
5.25 Bread 6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As Time Goes By Murders 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 A Touch of
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine 8.00 Judge John (2018/15) ★★★ 12.15pm The 2020 Top Ten Show
Frost. Double bill. 3.00-3.25am That’s My Boy 12.30 The Art of Self-Defense (2019/15) ★★★
Deed 10.00 New Tricks 11.15 Waking the Dead
1.45am The Bill 2.50-4.00am London’s Burning BBC FOUR 2.30 Brightburn (2019/15) ★★★★ 4.15 The 2020
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 Great Welsh Top Ten Show 4.30 Doom: Annihilation (2019/15)
YESTERDAY ★★★ 6.15 We Die Young (2019/15) ★★★
Canal Adventure with Gareth Edwards 8.00 The
6.00am Secrets of the Bible 7.10 Secrets of the People’s Liners – Britain’s Lost Pleasure Fleets 8.00 The Art of Self-Defense (2019/15) ★★★
Railways 8.00 Forbidden History 9.00 Secret 9.00 Ian Hislop’s Olden Days – The Power of the 10.00 Brightburn (2019/15) ★★★★ 11.45 Doom:
Nazi Bases 10.00 Nazi Victory: The Post-War Plan Past in Britain 10.00 Lost Sitcoms: Till Death Us Annihilation (2019/15) ★★★ 1.30am Hell Is Where
11.00 Underground Worlds 12.00noon Impossible Do Part 10.25 Armada – 12 Days to Save England the Home Is (2018/18) Horror. ★★★ 3.00 The
Railways 1.00 Secrets of Britain 2.00 Cornwall: 11.25 Inside the Medieval Mind 12.25am A Counterfeiter (2018/15) ★★★★ 5.15 The 2020
Walking Through History 3.00 Underground Victorian Scandal: The Rudest Book in Britain Top Ten Show 5.30-6.00am Final Score: Special
Worlds 4.00 Impossible Railways 5.00 Hitler’s 12.55 Sex, Chips and Poetry: 50 Years of The
Propaganda Machine 6.00 Auschwitz: The Mersey Sound 1.55 Confucius: Genius of the
FILM4
Nazis and the Final Solution 7.00 Abandoned 11.00am The Gentle Sex (1943/U) ★★★ 12.50pm
Ancient World 2.55-3.55am As 9pm
Engineering. Double bill. 9.00 The Two Ronnies. The Tin Star (1957/U) ★★★★★ 2.40 Kidnapped
Double bill. 10.35 Porridge. Triple bill. 12.30am SKY ONE (1971/U) ★★★ 4.50 Campbell’s Kingdom (1957/U)
Auschwitz: The Nazis and the Final Solution 1.35 6.00am Monkey Life. Double bill. 7.00 RSPCA ★★ 6.55 Behind Enemy Lines (2001/12) ★★ 9.00
Secrets of the Bible 2.30 David Attenborough’s Animal Rescue. Double bill. 8.00 Dog Whisperer Taken 2 (2012/12) ★★ 10.50 American Assassin
Natural Curiosities 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping 9.00 Stop, Search, Seize 10.00 Highway Patrol. (2017/18) Action thriller, starring Dylan O’Brien.
Double bill. 11.00 NCIS: LA. Double bill. 1.00pm ★★★★ 1.05-3.05am The East (2013/15) ★★★★
ITV2 Hawaii Five-0. Double bill. 3.00 MacGyver 4.00
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres Modern Family. Double bill. 5.00 The Simpsons TALKING PICTURES TV
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 Coronation Street. 5.30 Futurama. Double bill. 6.30 The Simpsons. 6.00am The Price of Silence (1959/U) ★★★
Double bill. 9.20 Superstore. Double bill. Triple bill. 8.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 9.00 Strike 7.35 Colonel’s Cup 7.50 Dilemma (1962/PG) ★★
10.15 Dinner Date 11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm Back: Vendetta 10.00 The Trip to Greece 9.10 Trouble Brewing (1939/U) ★★★ 11.00 Richard
Emmerdale 12.45 Coronation Street. Double bill. 10.30 The Force: North East 11.30 Avenue 5 Diamond 11.30 The Winslow Boy (1948/U)
1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.45 Dinner 12.05am SEAL Team 1.05 Caught on Dashcam ★★★★ 1.50pm Play It Cool (1962/U) ★★★
Date 3.50 Dress to Impress 4.55 Take Me Out 2.05 The Heist 3.05 Road Wars 4.00 Stop, Search, 3.30 Dancing With Crime (1947/PG) ★★★
6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold. Triple bill. Seize 5.00-6.00am Futurama. Double bill. 5.10 Miranda (1948/U) ★★★ 6.50 The Magic Box
8.00 Two and a Half Men. Double bill. 9.00 (1951/U) Biopic. ★★★★ 9.00 Reilly: Ace of Spies
Family Guy. Double bill. 10.00 Plebs. Double SKY ATLANTIC 10.00 Impulse (1984/18) Sci-fi thriller. ★★★
bill. 11.00 Family Guy 11.30 American Dad! Double
6.00am The Guest Wing 7.00 Without a Trace. 11.50 The Uncanny (1977/15) ★★ 1.35am Landslide
bill. 12.25am Two and a Half Men. Double bill.
Triple bill. 10.00 The West Wing. Double bill. (1937/PG) ★★★ 2.50 Strange Harvest (1953/PG)
1.25 Ibiza Weekender 2.25 Don’t Hate the Playaz
12.00noon Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene ★★★ 3.30 Sheepdog of the Hills (1941/U) Drama.
3.20 ITV2 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Investigation 2.00 The West Wing. Double bill. ★★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms. Double bill.
Variations ITV WALES As ITV except: 12.50-1.00pm
ITV News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News
Boom! 5.10 Seligo 5.15 #FI 5.20 Cath-Od 5.30
Un Cwestiwn 5.50 Ffeil 6.00 Codi Pac. Geraint
Wales at Six 10.30-10.45 ITV News Cymru Wales Hardy heads to Wrexham. 6.30 Rownd a Rownd.
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 11.00am X-Ray
11.45pm-12.40am Police in Danger: Caught on Lowri supports Dani after learning about Jac’s
11.30-11.45 Animal Park 6.30-7.00pm BBC Wales affair. 7.00 Heno 7.30 Newyddion S4C a’r
charged with keeping the public safe come Tywydd 8.00 Pobol y Cwm. Colin gives Hywel
relationship advice. 8.25 Rownd a Rownd.
attack, featuring footage filmed by
body cameras worn by officers themselves. The news of what has happened between
Jac and Dani is revealed. 8.55 Newyddion 9 a’r
open, and she desperately tries to make amends a’r Tywydd 12.05 Ffasiwn Mecanic 12.30 Heno Tywydd 9.00 Cynefin. A visit to the Bridgend
to the people she has deceived and save her 1.30 Ffermio 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd area. 10.00 Walter Presents: Yr Un Awyr. Lars
marriage. 11.35pm-12.15am Beauty Laid Bare 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r asks a question that makes Sabine’s father
BBC2 WALES As BBC2 except: 1.50pm First Tywydd 3.05 Corau Rhys Meirion 4.00 Awr Fawr: wary. Duncan tries to reconcile with Axel,
and Sabine spots an inconsistency in Lars’s
Minister. 2.40-3.00pm A to Z of TV Gardening yn Mynd i Ocido 4.45 Deian a Loli 5.00 Stwnsh: life story. In German 11.00-11.35pm Nyrsys
 BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Crimewatch
Roadshow Live. Factual crime.
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) 11.00 Dom Does
America (R) 11.45 Saved on
Camera 12.15pm Bargain Hunt (R)
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors Valerie helps a cancer
patient face up to some news.
2.15 Five Bedrooms A couple’s
marriage starts to crumble.
3.00 Escape to the Country (R)
3.45 Money for Nothing In
Altrincham, Greater Manchester.
4.30 Ready Steady Cook
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz. (R) 6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
6.55 Party Political Broadcast
By the Liberal Democrats. (R)
7.00 The One Show Magazine
show, with stories of interest
from around the UK, plus
celebrity guests in the studio.
With Alex Jones and Matt Baker.
8.00 The Heat Is On: Sport
Relief Nick Grimshaw, Frankie
Bridge, Rob Rinder, Krishnan
Guru-Murthy, Karim Zeroual,
Samantha Womack and Louise
Minchin attempt to cross the
world’s oldest desert in Namibia.
9.00 MasterChef Another group
of six amateur cooks prepare
a Signature Dish for judges
John Torode and Gregg Wallace,
hoping to secure their place
in the next stage of the
competition. After two
contestants are sent home,
the remaining four take part in
The Three Ingredients Challenge,
creating a dish showcasing lamb,
aubergine and red pepper.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
10.35 Eating with My Ex Double
bill. Ryan hopes to win Faye
back, Nick wants to know if
ex-girlfriend Tiff cheated on
him, and Tion wants to find out
if she still has a future with
Aaliyah; Shell tries to prove to 10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the
Laura that she is sorry for
cheating on her, and Winston
wants to know why Shannon
ended their relationship.
11.25pm Killing Eve Having survived a
terrifying close call with Villanelle,
Eve and the team question the mole in could work. (R) 12.15am Universal
a safe house, in the hope of finding
both the assassin and her mysterious
employer. (R) 12.50am Weather for the zero-hour contract. (R) 1.15 Hospital (R)
Week Ahead 12.55-6.00am BBC News 2.15-6.30am This Is BBC Two. Previews.
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.30am Money for Nothing (R) 7.15 6.00am Good Morning Britain
Ready Steady Cook (R) 8.00
Great British Railway Journeys (R) 10.00 This Morning Celebrity chat
8.30 Yorkshire Walks (R) 9.00
News 10.00 Victoria Derbyshire 12.00noon ITV News Special: The
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live
11.15 Politics Live: Budget 2020.
Coverage as Chancellor Rishi
Sunak unveils the new Budget.
3.00pm Red Rock Dunne needs to
damage Aoife’s credibility. (R)
3.45 The Great Interior Design
Challenge A kitchen. (R)
4.45 Portillo’s State Secrets (R)
5.15 Flog It! From Huddersfield
Town Hall, West Yorkshire. (R)
Games Trivia-based quiz.
6.30 Great British Railway Journeys
From Warwick to Rye. (R)
7.00 The Andrew Neil Show
Interviews, discussion and
analysis from Westminster.
7.30 Grand Tours of Scotland’s
Lochs (2/6) Paul Murton
travels around the firths of
Easter Ross and Sutherland,
visiting the mysterious Loch
Ussie and crossing a fairy
bridge over the Dornoch Firth.
8.00 Saving Lives at Sea A crew
of RNLI volunteers in Newquay
is called out to a shipwreck
off the Cornish coast, where
a diver who has lost his
mouthpiece needs rescuing
from 30 metres underwater. (R)
9.00 Child of Our Time: Turning
20 Catching up with Eve, Jamie
and Rhianna from the 1999
groundbreaking documentary,
with the three reflecting on
growing up during a time of
extraordinary social change.
10.00 Live at the Apollo Sitcom
star and The Last Leg regular
Josh Widdicombe welcomes
Londoner Nathan Caton and
Australian comic Celia Pacquola
to the stage at London’s
Hammersmith Apollo. (R)
day’s events, with Emily Maitlis.
11.15pm Dragons’ Den Entrepreneurs
pitch their money-making ideas to a
panel of self-made millionaires, who
are prepared to invest their company’s
cash in the scheme if they think it
Credit: Inside the Welfare State. A look
at the struggles of a waitress on a
ITV Channel 4
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news. Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
and lifestyle features. (R) 10.10 Undercover Boss
Canada (R) 11.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA (R)
Chancellor’s Budget; Weather 12.05pm Come Dine with Me (R)
1.50 Regional News; Weather 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
2.00 ITV Racing: Cheltenham
2.10 Countdown Word game.
Festival The second day of the
3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
prestigious festival, including
4.00 A New Life in the Sun:
the 3.30 Betway Queen Mother Where Are They Now? (R)
Champion Steeple Chase,
5.00 Four in a Bed From No 16 in
plus races at 2.10, 2.50 and 4.10. Seaham, County Durham.
4.30 Tipping Point: Best Ever Finals 5.30 Come Dine with Me
5.00 The Chase Quiz show. (R) 6.00 The Simpsons Homer takes
6.00 Regional News; Weather the family to New York. (R)
6.25 Party Political Broadcast 6.30 Hollyoaks Mitchell comes
By the Liberal Democrats. to terms with the events
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather of his birthday party. (R)
7.00 Emmerdale Cain faces up to 7.00 Channel 4 News Headlines.
Malone and soon realises he 8.00 Location, Location, Location
is not to be messed with. Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer
7.30 Coronation Street Ali assures go house-hunting to help one
Ryan that his drink was spiked family and one pair of first-time
and Alya confronts Geoff about buyers navigate the Bristol
the reviews for Speed Daal. market. Kirstie’s couple want to
8.00 Harry Redknapp’s buy in their beloved Clifton
Sandbanks Summer (4/4) where they have been renting,
Harry Redknapp goes on a while Phil is helping a couple
camping trip to Brownsea Island who want to find a property
with his family, where he plans in a family-friendly area within
to catch and cook dinner. walking distance of their
8.30 Coronation Street James lies daughter’s new school.
to his manager and press officer 9.00 The Undateables (1/5) The
and assures them he is not gay, series following extraordinary
and Nina wonders if Roy’s singletons as they search for
ashamed to be seen with her. romance returns. Nicholas,
9.00 The Trouble with Maggie who has Asperger’s, longs to
Cole (2/6) The radio interview find a partner to share his life
has gone viral and the village is with. Meanwhile, 22-year-old
reeling from the revelations. Shantae, who has Down’s
Meanwhile, Jill bonds with Syndrome, dreams of meeting
Marcus and Roxanna. a religious family man.
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather 10.00 Home (6/6) Sami seems to
A fresh perspective on the have disappeared and has
major stories of the day. not replied to messages for
10.30 Regional News; Weather more than two weeks, so the
10.45 Peston Political magazine show family tries to track him down.
presented by Robert Peston, 10.35 The Great Celebrity Bake
featuring major interviews with Off for Stand Up to Cancer
MPs, guests and cultural figures. Louis Theroux, Jenny Eclair,
11.45pm Tenable Five contestants from Russell Howard and Ovie Soko
Yorkshire answer questions about top take part in the contest. (R)
10 lists from the realms of pop culture 11.50pm Gogglebox (R) 12.50am The
and general knowledge, then try to Windsors. Charles befriends a blind
score a perfect 10 in the final round to man who does not know who he is.
take home the prize money. Hosted by (R) 1.20 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
Warwick Davis. (R) 12.45am Home USA. From Hollywood. (R) 2.10 Come
Shopping 3.00 Broadchurch. Hardy and Dine with Me (R) 3.05 My Family and
Ellie appeal to Trish to be more open the Galapagos (R) 4.00 Grand Designs
with them. (R) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen (R) 4.55 Location, Location, Location
5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R) (R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News at
Lunchtime 12.15 Parking Hell: At
War with the Law (R) 1.10 Access
1.15 Home and Away See 6.00pm.
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 Killing Your Daughter (2019/PG)
Premiere. Thriller, starring Allison
Paige and Sarah Aldrich. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Finn goes to
confront his father, and Paul
is delighted for Lucy over
Mark’s marriage proposal. (R)
6.00 Home and Away Alf asks
Martha how she would feel
about marrying him again. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Britain: A Year in the Wild
Revealing the hidden lives of the
familiar and the more unusual
animals in the United Kingdom.
Followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Recycling: Is it a Con? Paul
Connolly and Jean Johansson
investigate whether councils
and the supermarkets are as
environmentally friendly as they
claim. Followed by 5 News
9.00 Elizabeth I and II: Britain’s
Golden Queens The
concluding episode examines
the importance of two women
who enter the two Queen’s
lives; Mary Queen of Scots and
Princess Diana. When these two
young women join the Royal
circle, they are expected to
be great additions to the court,
but in both cases, it starts to
become clear that Mary and
Diana contrast to the queen.
10.00 Guilty: Worst Crimes at
the Old Bailey Examining the
most famous and feared criminal
court in the land, and some
of the cases that have been
tried there, including Doctor
Crippen and John Christie. (R)
11.05pm Ian Huntley: Soham Murders
Revisited Documentary examining
events that took place in the small
Cambridgeshire town. (R) 12.30am
Traffic Cops. Ant Horsley and Dan
Mitchell are on the hunt for a
disqualified driver. (R) 1.20 The 21.co.uk about what is happening in Wales and why it
Live Casino Show 3.15 Our Dream
Hotel (R) 4.00 Tribal Teens – Here
Comes Trouble (R) 4.45 House Doctor Young, Welsh and Pretty Minted. Instagram star Da 3.00 Newyddion 3.05 Noson Lawen 4.00 Awr
(R) 5.10 Great Scientists. Isaac Newton. Erin Budina works in a recycling depot as part
(R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R)
GOLD
7.20am The Piglet Files 7.45 As Time Goes By
8.20 The Good Life 9.00 Porridge 9.40 Hi-de-Hi!
Wednesday
MARCH 11
10.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill.
12.20pm Keeping Up Appearances 1.00 Porridge
1.40 Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 The Good Life 3.00 Keeping
Up Appearances 3.40 Dad’s Army 4.20 Last of
the Summer Wine. Triple bill. 6.20 The Good Life
7.00 Porridge 7.40 Dad’s Army. Double bill. 9.00
Gavin & Stacey 9.40 The Office 10.20 Sandylands
11.00 Peep Show. Double bill. 12.00m’t Gavin &
Stacey 12.40 The Office 1.20 Peep Show. Double
bill. 2.20 The Rebel 2.55 Lenny Henry’s Race
Through Comedy 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE
7.10am Eat Your Heart Out with Nick Helm.
Double bill. 8.00 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters. Double bill. 10.00 American Pickers.
Double bill. 12.00noon Timber Kings 1.00 Top
Gear 2.00 Cop Car Workshop 3.00 Scrapyard
Supercar 4.00 Top Gear. Double bill. 6.00
Taskmaster 7.00 Room 101. Double bill. 8.20
Have I Got a Bit More News for You 9.20 QI The Trouble with Maggie Cole, ITV, 9pm
10.00 Hypothetical 11.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8
Bit 12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 2.00 QI 2.40 Go 8 Bit: DLC. 2.10 CelebAbility 2.55 Totally Bonkers Guinness 4.00 Without a Trace. Triple bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime
Double bill. 3.30-4.00am The Indestructibles World Records 3.20-3.30am ITV2 Nightscreen Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Bloods. Police
drama. 9.00 Empire Falls 11.05 The End 11.40 John
DRAMA ITV3 Adams 1.00am Oz. Double bill. 3.25 Without a
7.10am Soldier, Soldier. Double bill. 9.00 The Bill 6.00am Classic Coronation Street. Double Trace 4.15-6.00am The West Wing. Double bill.
10.00 Classic Holby City 11.00 Classic Casualty bill. 6.55 Classic Emmerdale. Double bill.
12.00noon The Bill 1.00 Classic EastEnders. 7.55 Heartbeat 8.55 Man About the House. SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
Double bill. 2.20 London’s Burning 3.20 Monarch Double bill. 10.00 That’s My Boy 10.30 Agatha 6.00am Hotel Mumbai: Special 6.30 Doom:
of the Glen 4.20 Bergerac 5.25 Bread 6.00 Christie’s Marple 12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic Annihilation (2019/15) ★★★ 8.15 Straight Up
Emmerdale. Double bill. 2.50 Classic Coronation (2019/15) ★★★★ 10.00 Top Ten Show 10.15 The
Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As Time Goes By 7.20 Last
of the Summer Wine 8.00 Hetty Wainthropp Street. Double bill. 3.55 Midsomer Murders 5.55 Art of Self-Defense (2019/15) ★★★ 12.15pm
Investigates 9.00 Ms Fisher’s Modern Murder Heartbeat 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. Double Brightburn (2019/15) ★★★★ 2.00 The 2020 Top
Mysteries 10.00 New Tricks 11.15 Waking the Dead bill. 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.05 A Touch of Frost. Ten Show 2.15 Cold Blood Legacy (2019/15) ★★★
Double bill. 3.10-3.30am ITV3 Nightscreen 4.00 This Changes Everything (2018/15) ★★★
1.45am The Bill 2.50-4.00am London’s Burning
BBC FOUR 5.45 Top Ten Show 6.00 The Art of Self-Defense
YESTERDAY 7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 Handmade on the
(2019/15) ★★★ 8.00 Brightburn (2019/15) ★★★★
6.00am Secrets of the Bible 7.10 Secrets of the 9.45 Cold Blood Legacy (2019/15) ★★★ 11.30 We
Silk Road 8.00 The Victorian House of Arts and Die Young (2019/15) ★★★ 1.15am Mapplethorpe
Railways 8.00 Forbidden History 9.00 Hitler’s Crafts 9.00 Bloody Queens: Elizabeth and Mary
Propaganda Machine 10.00 Auschwitz: The (2018/18) ★★★ 3.15 Doom: Annihilation (2019/15)
10.00  LIVE Football: SheBelieves Cup 2020.
Nazis and the Final Solution 11.00 Abandoned England Women v Spain Women. 12.30am Blood ★★★ 5.00 The Hurricane Heist: The Eye of the
Engineering 12.00noon Impossible Railways 1.00 and Gold: The Making of Spain with Simon Sebag Storm 5.30-6.00am Extremely Wicked,
Time Team 2.00 Wigan Pier: Walking Through Montefiore 1.30 Treasures of Ancient Greece Shockingly Evil and Vile: Special
History 3.00 Abandoned Engineering 4.00
Impossible Engineering 5.00 Hitler’s Propaganda
2.30 Anni Albers: A Life in Thread 3.00-4.00am FILM4
The Victorian House of Arts and Crafts 11.00am Waterloo Road (1944/PG) ★★ 12.35pm A
Machine 6.00 Auschwitz: The Nazis and the
Final Solution 7.00 Abandoned Engineering 8.00 SKY ONE Night to Remember (1958/PG) ★★★★ 3.10 Tulsa
Impossible Engineering 9.00 Porridge. Triple bill. 6.00am Monkey Life. Double bill. 7.00 RSPCA (1949/U) ★★ 4.55 The Bravados (1958/PG) ★★ 6.55
11.00 Impossible Engineering 12.00m’t Abandoned Keeping Up With the Joneses (2016/12) ★★★ 9.00
Animal Rescue. Double bill. 8.00 The Dog
Engineering 1.00 Auschwitz: The Nazis and the Whisperer 9.00 Stop, Search, Seize 10.00 Little Fockers (2010/12) ★★ 10.55 Mr & Mrs Smith
Final Solution 2.00-3.00am Secrets of the Bible Highway Patrol. Double bill. 11.00 NCIS: LA. (2005/15) ★★★ 1.15-3.05am Rafiki (2018/12) ★★★★
Double bill. 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0. Double bill. TALKING PICTURES TV
ITV2 3.00 MacGyver 4.00 Modern Family. Double bill.
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama. Double bill. 6.00am Up In The Air (1940/PG) ★★★
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 You’ve Been Framed! 6.30 The Simpsons. Five episodes. 9.00 SEAL 7.15 Dick Tracy 7.45 Silent Dust (1949/PG) ★★★
Gold: Unleashed! 9.20 Superstore. Double bill. Team 10.00 Avenue 5 10.35 Intelligence. Double 9.25 Do You Know This Voice? (1964/PG) ★★★
10.15 Dinner Date 11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm bill. 11.35 Caught on Dashcam 12.35am The Heist 11.00 Richard Diamond 11.30 The Frightened City
Emmerdale 12.45 You’ve Been Framed! Gold: (1961/PG) ★★ 1.30pm Quiet Weekend (1946/U)
1.35 Road Wars 2.00 The Real A&E. Double bill.
Reloaded 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 3.00 The Force: Manchester 4.00 Stop, Search, ★★★ 3.20 The Strange Love of Martha Ivers
2.45 Dinner Date 3.50 Dress to Impress 4.55 Take Seize 5.00-6.00am Futurama. Double bill. (1946/U) ★★★ 5.40 Hour of Decision (1957/PG)
Me Out 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold. Four ★★★ 7.15 Pool of London (1951/PG) ★★★
episodes. 8.00 Two and a Half Men. Double bill. SKY ATLANTIC 9.00 Rumpole of the Bailey 10.05 Fools’ Parade
9.00 Family Guy. Double bill. 10.00 Celebrity 6.00am The Guest Wing 7.00 Without a Trace. (1971/PG) ★★★ 12.05am Cosh Boy (1953/PG)
Juice 10.50 Family Guy 11.20 American Dad! Triple bill. 10.00 The West Wing. Double bill. ★★★ 1.40 The Hand (1960/PG) ★★★ 2.55 Tell
Double bill. 12.15am Two and a Half Men. 12.00noon Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene Me Another 3.10 Variety Jubilee (1943/PG) ★★★
Double bill. 1.10 Timewasters. Double bill. Investigation 2.00 The West Wing. Double bill. 5.00 Honey West 5.30-6.00am Rooms
Variations meets a 20-year-old who is one of Europe’s
up-and-coming suppliers of dog biscuits.
Adrenalini 5.10 Henri Helynt 5.20 Mwydro
5.30 Cog1nio 5.50 Ffeil 6.00 Adre. Nia Parry visits
ITV WALES As ITV except: 1.50-2.00pm ITV the home of Morgan Jones. 6.30 Heno 7.30
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30-6.55pm Newyddion 8.00 Pobol y Cwm. Gwyneth
BBC Wales Today. The latest reports. 10.30- News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.25 ITV News Wales
11.05 BBC Wales Live. Jason Mohammad and at Six 10.30-10.45pm ITV News Cymru Wales realises she ha been framed as she is arrested
on suspicion of killing Jesse. 8.55 Newyddion
Bethan Rhys Roberts present a weekly show S4C 6.00am Cyw 11.00 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Twm S4C a’r Tywydd 9.00 Ysgol Ni: Maesincla. The
featuring in-depth interviews and stories Tisian 11.10 Jen a Jim Pob Dim 11.25 Sam Tan year six students are taught by the principal
11.35 Rapsgaliwn 11.50 Wibli Sochyn y Mochyn Mr Roberts for a day. 10.00 Mwy o Sgorio.
matters. 11.35 Eating with My Ex 11.55 Killing Eve 12.00noon Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05 Celebrating the best of football in Wales and
12.35am Killing Eve 1.20-6.00am BBC News Ceffylau Cymru 12.30 Heno 1.00 Llwybrau’r Eirth beyond. 10.30-11.35pm Priodas Pum Mil. Trystan
BBC2 WALES As BBC2 except: 10.00-10.30pm 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Ellis-Morris and Emma Walford lend a hand to a
crew of family and friends who are organising
Fawr: Bing 4.10 Timpo 4.20 Halibalw 4.30 Sion y a dairy-themed wedding in Carmarthenshire
of a YouTube challenge, while the programme Chef 4.40 Ahoi! 5.00 Stwnsh: Y Brodyr for Rhoswen and Peter from Trelech.
 BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Crimewatch
Roadshow Live 10.00 Homes
Under the Hammer 11.00 Dom
Does America (R) 11.45 Saved on
Camera 12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors A patient claims she is
being stalked by a comedian.
2.15 Five Bedrooms (3/8) There is
lots of bad feeling towards Ben.
3.00 Escape to the Country
Jules Hudson is on a house-
hunting mission in Somerset. (R) 3.40 The Great Interior Design
3.45 Money for Nothing (8/20) Sarah
Moore saves old tents, dining
chairs and a dressing screen.
4.30 Ready Steady Cook A mother
and daughter compete.
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz. (R)
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 The One Show Magazine,
with Alex Jones and Matt Baker.
7.30 EastEnders Isaac shows
his true colours to Patrick,
Chantelle feels the pressure to
find work and Mitch’s suspicions
about Gray reach fever pitch.
8.00 MasterChef Restaurant critic
William Sitwell sets the brief,
challenging the hopefuls to
serve up a plant-based dish.
8.30 EastEnders Mitch follows
Gray to find out what he is up
to, Stuart comes up with an
extreme plan to cheer up Rainie
and Sheree berates Isaac for
his attitude towards Patrick.
9.00 Noughts + Crosses (2/6)
Callum and Sephy take
desperate measures to find
somewhere they can be alone
together, but Lekan suspects
Sephy is hiding something from
him and is on the rampage.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
The latest national and
international headlines.
10.35 Question Time Fiona Bruce
presents the topical debate
from West Bromwich, inviting
the studio audience to question
a panel of politicians and
other guests on subjects
that have made the headlines
over the past week.
11.35pm Newscast; Weather Laura
Kuenssberg, Chris Mason, Katya Adler
and Adam Fleming present their
weekly round-up from Westminster,
delivering their usual mix of serious
analysis and light-hearted gossip
about the biggest stories in politics.
12.10-6.00am BBC News. Headlines.
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.30am Money for Nothing (R) 7.15
Escape to the Country (R) 8.00
Great British Railway Journeys (R) 10.00 This Morning Celebrity chat.
8.30 Lose Weight and Get Fit
with Tom Kerridge (R) 9.00
BBC News at 9 10.00 Victoria
Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom
Live 12.15pm Politics Live 1.00
Hardball (R) 1.45 Best House in
Town (R) 2.30 Terry and Mason’s
Great Food Trip. In Bristol. (R)
3.00 Red Rock Crime drama. (R)
Challenge Attic bedrooms. (R)
4.40 Portillo’s State Secrets (R)
5.10 Flog It! Auction pieces. (R)
6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
Games With Hugh Dennis.
6.30 Great British Railway Journeys
The origin of netball. (R)
7.00 MOTDx Jermaine Jenas is
joined by guests Craig Mitch,
Chelcee Grimes and Reece
Parkinson to take an offbeat
look at the Premier League.
7.30 Villages by the Sea
Ben Robinson examines the
history of the monks and
villagers of the Holy Island of
Lindisfarne, which lies off the
Northumberland coast. (R)
8.00 Secrets of the Museum
(6/6) The V&A experts struggle
to fit a customised Chevy
Impala into the museum for
an exhibition, a medieval jewel
undergoes a deep clean
and a mosaic is restored.
9.00 Hospital (5/8) Patients fit
for discharge but stranded in
hospital, including a man with
vascular dementia waiting to
find a residential home that can
deal with his complex needs.
10.00 Vic & Bob’s Big Night Out
Vic presents Bob with a striking
new wig, before revealing his
secret beat boxing skills. Plus,
the return of the Man with the
Stick and sketches including
the Free Runners and Frank
Roddam’s latest inventions. (R)
10.30 Newsnight The day’s events.
11.15pm Miriam’s Big Fat Adventure
Part one of two. Miriam Margolyes
tries to find out why so many people
are overweight. (R) 12.15am Young, Sikh
and Proud. Sunny Hundal explores the
legacy of his brother, Sikh leader Jagraj
Singh. (R) 12.55 Dom Does America.
Dominic Littlewood helps track down
fugitives. (R) 1.40 Trust Me, I’m a
Doctor (R) 2.10-6.30am This Is BBC Two
ITV Channel 4
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Good Morning Britain 6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news. Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
(R) 10.10 Undercover Boss
12.30pm ITV Lunchtime News Canada (R) 11.05 Ramsay’s
12.50 Regional News; Weather Kitchen Nightmares USA (R)
1.00 ITV Racing: Cheltenham 12.05pm Come Dine with Me (R)
Festival The third day of the 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
prestigious festival, including 2.10 Countdown Gameshow.
feature race the 3.30 Paddy 3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
Power Stayers’ Hurdle Race. Plus 4.00 A New Life in the Sun:
races at 1.30, 2.10, 2.50 and 4.10. Where Are They Now? (R)
4.30 Tipping Point: Best Ever Finals 5.00 Four in a Bed From Blacksmiths
Compilation remembering Boutique in Whitby, Yorkshire.
some of the show’s most 5.30 Come Dine with Me A fine
dramatic endgames. (R) dining menu in Edinburgh.
5.00 The Chase Quiz show, 6.00 The Simpsons Bart goes to
hosted by Bradley Walsh. (R) work in a burlesque theatre. (R)
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 Hollyoaks Jordan is back
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather and wants Juliet’s help. (R)
7.00 Emmerdale Laurel is forced to 7.00 Channel 4 News
reveal all to Jai, Malone exerts his 8.00 How to Beat – Ageing
authority over Cain, and Mandy Kate Quilton and Dr Javid
and Dan decide to go on a date. Abdelmoneim explore changes
7.30 Can Robots Save the NHS? people can make to take care
Tonight Looking at the use of of their mental and physical
artificial intelligence in detecting health, beginning with methods
disease, asking whether it could of lowering the biological age.
aid the overstretched NHS. They recruit eight volunteers to
8.00 Emmerdale Samson manages take part in an experiment
to find a way to fund his to see if simple lifestyle changes,
trip, and Jamie is rattled by such as walking quicker and
Andrea’s custody intentions. getting a good night’s sleep,
8.30 How to Spend It Well on can really turn back the clock.
Holiday (2/4) The consumer 9.00 Hunted The hunters are in
show finds out how a family hot pursuit of Dan through
cope on holiday in Thailand. rural Cheshire. Jess and Ella are
9.00 The Station: Trouble on tired and hungry after days
the Tracks (1/3) Documentary off-grid, so they return to their
following the staff of Network hometown of Newbury to
Rail. Engineers battle the replenish supplies, while the
elements after extensive hunters track Hayley and Dan
flooding, and Banksy leaves a to the Lakes, where they are
gift on a wall in Birmingham. hiding out in a friend’s caravan.
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather 10.00 First Dates Self-titled alpha
Featuring national and male Josh is keen to find his
international news, plus reports. very own Kardashian, while
10.30 Regional News; Weather waxing entrepreneur Sherie is
10.45 Liar Feeling the full force of returning to the dating game
DI Renton’s investigation, Laura after several years away.
looks to those closest to her for 11.05pm Five Guys a Week Dating
support, but when suspicions show following five men who move in
fall on Ian, she is left questioning with a single woman for a week. (R)
who she can really trust. (R) 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
11.45pm Dancing on Ice Phillip Schofield USA. A bistro in the Chicago suburbs.
and Holly Willoughby host the final (R) 1.00 The Undateables (R) 1.55 Home.
of the skating contest, in which the The family try and track Sami down. (R)
last two celebrities perform their take 2.25 Baghdad Central (R) 3.20 Celebs
on Torvill and Dean’s Bolero. (R) for Sale: The Great Charity Scandal
1.30am Home Shopping 3.00 Can – Dispatches (R) 3.50 Come Dine
Robots Save the NHS? Tonight (R) 3.25 with Me (R) 4.45 Location, Location,
ITV Nightscreen 5.05-6.00am Judge Location (R) 5.40 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems
Rinder. Real-life small claims cases. (R) (R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News
at Lunchtime 12.15 Britain’s
Parking Hell (R) 1.10 Access
1.15 Home and Away See 6.00pm.
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 Snatched at Birth (2017/PG)
Thriller, starring Kaitlyn Black
and David Gallagher. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Terese identifies
Paul as the author of a
romantic email to Jane. (R)
6.00 Home and Away After Roo
helps her parents to see the
other’s point of view, Martha
accepts Alf’s proposal. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 The Dog Rescuers with
Alan Davies Herchy rescues a
Staffie from a tower block, with
a police warrant, while Nicky
cannot find a kennel for an dog
signed over by an owner to ill to
care for it. Followed by 5 News
8.00 Britain’s Naughtiest
Nursery Part one of two.
Day-to-day life at a nursery for
challenging three-to-five year
olds, set up by psychologist
Laverne Antrobus. Louie’s
parents get no rest as he is
constantly on the go and lashes
out when things don’t go his
way. (R) Followed by 5 News
9.00 10 Years Younger in 10 Days
(3/6) Cherry Healey and the
experts give busy mum Myrah a
new image to help her succeed
as a life coach, and mum-of-one
Lyndsey wants to reinvent
herself after battling cancer.
10.00 Shipman: 5 Mistakes That
Caught a Killer Documentary
looking at Dr Harold Shipman’s
actions that led to his arrest.
Suspected of killing over 350
people, in 2000 he was convicted
of murdering 15 of his patients.
11.05pm The Nightmare Neighbour
Next Door Return of the documentary
about disputes between neighbours.
(R) 12.05am Robbing Your Relatives.
Documentary about people whose
lives have been ruined by criminals in
their own families. (R) 1.00 The 21.co.uk Bryn Terfel, Hollywood actor Matthew Rhys
Live Casino Show 3.00 Access 3.10 Our and former Scotland winger Kenny Logan.
Dream Hotel (R) 4.00 My Mum’s Hotter BBC2
Than Me! (R) 4.45 House Doctor. From Baker. 7.30-8.00pm MOTDx. Football discussion
Hammersmith. (R) 5.10 Great Scientists presented by Jermaine Jenas, with guests Craig
(R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R)
GOLD
6.00am Teleshopping 7.20 The Piglet Files 7.45 As
Time Goes By 8.20 The Good Life 9.00 Porridge
9.40 Hi-de-Hi! 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine.
Triple bill. 12.20pm Keeping Up Appearances
1.00 Porridge 1.40 Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 The Good Life
3.00 Keeping Up Appearances 3.40 Dad’s Army
4.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill. 6.20
The Good Life 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Dad’s Army.
Double bill. 9.00 Gavin & Stacey 9.40 The Office
10.20 Peep Show. Double bill. 11.30 Gavin &
Stacey 12.10am The Office 12.50 Lenny Henry’s
Race Through Comedy 1.50 Peep Show. Double
bill. 2.45-4.00am The Rebel. Double bill.
DAVE
7.10am Eat Your Heart Out with Nick Helm.
Double bill. 8.00 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters. Double bill. 10.00 American Pickers.
Double bill. 12.00noon Timber Kings 1.00 Top
Gear 2.00 Cop Car Workshop 3.00 Scrapyard
Supercar 4.00 Top Gear. Double bill. 6.00
Taskmaster 7.00 Room 101. Double bill. 8.20 Have
I Got a Bit More News for You 9.20 QI 10.00
Meet the Richardsons 10.40 QI 11.20 Mock the
Week 12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 2.00 QI 2.40 Go 8 Bit: DLC.
Double bill. 3.30-4.00am The Indestructibles
DRAMA
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Soldier, Soldier.
Double bill. 9.00 The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City
11.00 Classic Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00
Classic EastEnders. Double bill. 2.20 London’s
Burning 3.20 Monarch of the Glen 4.20 Bergerac
5.25 Bread 6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As Time Goes
By 7.20 Last of the Summer Wine 8.00 The
Inspector Lynley Mysteries 10.00 New Tricks
11.10 Waking the Dead 1.40am The Bill 2.45
London’s Burning 3.35-4.00am Garden Hopping
YESTERDAY
6.00am Secrets of the Bible 7.10 Viking Dead
8.00 Forbidden History 9.00 Hitler’s Propaganda
Machine 10.00 Auschwitz: The Nazis and the
Final Solution 11.00 Abandoned Engineering
12.00noon Impossible Engineering 1.00
Time Team 2.00 Walking Through History:
Northumbria 3.00 Abandoned Engineering 4.00
Impossible Engineering 5.00 Hitler’s Propaganda
Machine 6.00 Auschwitz: The Nazis and the
Final Solution 7.00 Abandoned Engineering
8.00 Bangers and Cash 9.00 Warbird Workshop
10.00 Narrow Escapes of World War Two 11.00
Impossible Engineering 12.00m’t Abandoned
Engineering 1.00 Auschwitz: The Nazis and the
Final Solution 2.00-3.00am Secrets of the Bible
ITV2
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 Coronation Street.
Double bill. 9.20 Superstore. Double bill. 10.15
Dinner Date 11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm
Emmerdale 12.45 Coronation Street. Double
bill. 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.45 Dinner
Date 3.50 Dress to Impress 4.50 Take Me Out
6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold 7.00 You’ve Been
Framed! Gold: A-Z 8.00 Two and a Half Men.
Double bill. 9.00  FILM Ride Along (2014/12)
Police comedy. ★★ 11.10 Family Guy. Double
bill. 12.10am American Dad! Double bill. 1.05 The
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30pm BBC
Wales Today 6.55 Party Political Broadcast.
Party Political Broadcast by the Brexit Party.
7.00-7.30pm Six Nations Sin Bin. Gabby Logan
and Gareth Thomas are joined by opera star
WALES As BBC2 except: 7.00pm The
One Show. Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt
Mitch, Chelcee Grimes and Reece Parkinson.
Thursday
MARCH 12
How to Beat – Ageing, Channel 4, 8pm
Stand Up Sketch Show 1.35 Two and a Half
Men. Double bill. 2.30-3.15am CelebAbility
ITV3
6.00am Classic Coronation Street. Double bill.
6.55 Classic Emmerdale. Double bill. 7.55
Heartbeat 8.55 Man About the House. Double
bill. 9.55 That’s My Boy 10.25 A Touch of Frost
12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic Emmerdale.
Double bill. 2.50 Classic Coronation Street.
Double bill. 3.55 Midsomer Murders 5.55
Heartbeat 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00
Lewis 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 A Touch of Frost.
Double bill. 3.10-3.30am ITV3 Nightscreen
BBC FOUR
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 The Wonder of
Animals 8.00 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History
9.00 Can Science Make Me Perfect? with Alice
Roberts 10.30 Horizon: Why Are We Getting So
Fat? 11.30 Lisbon: An Art Lovers’ Guide 12.30am
Our Classical Century 1.30 Love and Betrayal in
India: The White Mughal 2.30-3.30am As 8pm
SKY ONE
6.00am Monkey Life. Double bill. 7.00 RSPCA
Animal Rescue. Double bill. 8.00 The Dog
Whisperer 9.00 Stop, Search, Seize 10.00 Highway
Patrol. Double bill. 11.00 NCIS: LA. Double bill.
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0. Double bill. 3.00 MacGyver
4.00 Modern Family. Double bill. 5.00 The
Simpsons 5.30 Futurama. Double bill. 6.30 The
Simpsons. Triple bill. 8.00 A League of Their Own
9.00 The Heist 10.00  NEW Breeders. Double bill.
11.05 An Idiot Abroad 2 12.05am Intelligence.
Double bill. 1.05 Caught on Dashcam 2.00 The
Late Late Show with James Corden: Best of the
Week 3.00 The Force: Manchester 4.00 Stop,
Search, Seize 5.00-6.00am Futurama. Double bill.
SKY ATLANTIC
6.00am Urban Secrets 7.00 Without a Trace.
Triple bill. 10.00 The West Wing. Double bill.
12.00noon Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation 2.00 The West Wing. Double bill.
4.00 Without a Trace. Triple bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime
ITV WALES As ITV except: 12.50-1.00pm ITV
News Cymru Wales 6.00 ITV News Wales at Six
6.25-6.30 Party Political Broadcast 8.30-9.00
Coast & Country. A visit to a stunning Gower
beach with an iconic derelict lighthouse.
10.30 ITV News Cymru Wales 10.45 St Davids
– Britain’s Smallest City 11.10-11.45pm How to
Spend It Well on Holiday. Phillip Schofield hosts.
S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 12.05 Pobol y Rhondda 12.30 Heno
1.30 Dan Do 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd 3.05 Cynefin 4.00 Awr Fawr: Blociau
Rhif. 4.05 Meic y Marchog 4.20 Y Brodyr Coala
4.30 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido 4.45 Sigldigwt.
Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Bloods. A thief
is shot dead. 9.00 The Sopranos. Double bill.
11.20 Babylon Berlin. Double bill. 1.20am Public
Enemy. Double bill. 3.30 Without a Trace
4.20-6.00am The West Wing. Double bill.
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
6.00am The Counterfeiter (2018/15) ★★★★ 8.15
Straight Up (2019/15) ★★★★ 9.55 We Die Young
(2019/15) ★★★ 11.35 This Changes Everything
(2018/15) ★★★ 1.20pm Brightburn (2019/15)
★★★★ 3.00 I’ll Take Your Dead (2019/15) ★★★
4.30 Doom: Annihilation (2019/15) ★★★ 6.15 Cold
Blood Legacy (2019/15) ★★★ 8.00 Brightburn
(2019/15) Superhero horror. ★★★★ 9.45 I’ll
Take Your Dead (2019/15) ★★★ 11.30 The Art
of Self-Defense (2019/15) ★★★ 1.30am Hell Is
Where the Home Is (2018/18) ★★★ 3.15 Cold
Blood Legacy (2019/15) ★★★ 5.00 Hotel Mumbai:
Special 5.30-6.00am Monster Family: Special
FILM4
11.00am The Dam Busters (1955/U) ★★★★★
1.35pm McLintock! (1963/U) ★★★ 4.20 The
Cassandra Crossing (1976/PG) ★★ 7.05 Crocodile
Dundee (1986/15) ★★★★ 9.00 Birth of the Dragon
(2016/12) ★★★ 10.50 Babylon AD (2008/12) ★★
12.35-2.35am Lost & Found (2017/12) ★★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
6.00am Old Mother Riley In Paris (1938/U) ★★★
7.35 I’ll Be Seeing You (1944/PG) ★★★ 9.20
Thunder in the City (1937/PG) ★★★ 11.00 Richard
Diamond 11.30 Jigsaw (1962/PG) ★★★ 1.35pm
Night Mail (1936/U) ★★★★★ 2.00 Rooms
2.30 Captain Boycott (1947/PG) ★★★ 4.30
Glimpses: London Airport early 1960s 4.55 Mr
Winkle Goes To War (1944/PG) ★★★ 6.35 No
Highway in the Sky (1951/U) Adventure. ★★★★
8.30 Tell Me Another 9.00 Funny Man 10.00
Man in the Attic (1953/PG) ★★★ 11.40 Up the
Chastity Belt (1971/PG) ★★ 1.30am Department
Store (1935/PG) ★★★ 2.50 Miss MacTaggart
Won’t Lie Down 3.25 Dentist in the Chair
(1960/U) ★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms. Double bill.
5.00 Stwnsh: Sbargo 5.05 Y Llys: Stwnsh
5.15 Arthur a Chriw y Ford Gron 5.25 Lolipop
5.50 Ffeil 6.00 Nyrsys. Student nurse Elen
learns how to assist patients as they receive
treatments. 6.30 Rownd a Rownd. The news of
what has happened between Jac and Dani is
revealed. 7.00 Heno 7.30 Newyddion 8.00 Pobol
y Cwm. Garry goes to the police with evidence
of Gwyneth’s guilt. 8.25 Rownd a Rownd.
Dani feels ashamed now the truth is out.
8.55 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 9.00 Jonathan.
Rugby magazine, with guests Adam Price
and Dan Evans. 10.00 Lwp 10.30 Hansh 11.00 Y
Stiwdio Gefn. Featuring y Trwbs, Ryland Teifi
and y Bandana. 11.30pm-12.05am Mwy o Sgorio
 BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Crimewatch
Roadshow Live 10.00 Homes
Under the Hammer (R) 11.00
Dom Does America (R) 11.45
Saved on Camera 12.15pm
Bargain Hunt Sport Relief
Special. A special edition.
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors Emma comes
under fire from the police.
2.15 Five Bedrooms (4/8) Money
worries overwhelm Liz.
3.00 Escape to the Country (R)
3.45 Money for Nothing (9/20)
Transforming a side table.
4.30 Ready Steady Cook Bride and
groom to-be Daniella and
Ross compete in the kitchen.
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz. (R)
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 Sport Relief 2020 Gary
Lineker, Alex Scott, Emma Willis,
Paddy McGuinness, Oti Mabuse,
Rylan Clark-Neal and Tom Allen
host the extravaganza, raising
funds for good causes both in
the UK and overseas. Highlights
include two teams of celebrities
leaving it all on the dance floor
in a bid to be crowned The
Greatest Dancer for Sport Relief,
and the rebirth of Killing Eve as
Killing Steves, for a one-off
Sport Relief spoof. The Battle of
the Channels Celebrity Boat
Race returns, and this year it’s
bigger than ever as BBC, ITV,
Channel 4 and Sky compete for
victory. In another sporting feat,
Romesh Ranganathan takes on
tennis legend Andy Murray in a
crazy game of crazy golf. Plus,
live music from artists including
Rita Ora and John Newman.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
Followed by Lottery Update
10.35 Sport Relief 2020 Hosts Tom
Allen and Maya Jama are joined
by dance sensations AJ and
Curtis Pritchard, with music by
superstar YouTuber KSI and
rising star Celeste. Plus, a look
back at last summer’s All-Star
Sport Relief Netball match.
12.45am Catchpoint for Sport Relief
Paddy McGuinness hosts a celebrity
special edition of the family-friendly
gameshow, as cricketer Graeme Swann
and actress Rachel Parris take on
Olympic hockey player Sam Quek
and comedian Mark Watson. (R)
1.20 Weather for the Week Ahead
1.25-6.00am BBC News. Headlines.
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.30am Money for Nothing (R) 7.15
Ready Steady Cook (R) 8.00
Back in Time for the Corner
Shop (R) 9.00 BBC News 10.00
Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC
Newsroom 12.15pm Politics Live
1.00 Hardball Quiz show. (R)
1.45 Best House in Town (R)
2.30 Terry and Mason’s Great Food
Trip From Tunbridge Wells. (R)
3.00 Red Rock Irish crime drama. (R)
3.45 The Great Interior Design
Challenge Makeovers. (R)
4.45 Portillo’s State Secrets (R)
5.15 Flog It! From Dover Castle.
6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
Games Quiz. Last in series.
6.30 Great British Railway Journeys
From Warwick to Rye. (R)
7.00 Extreme Wales with
Richard Parks The presenter
explores the River Teifi, taking
part in adrenaline-filled activities
and learning about those who
live on the banks of the river. (R)
7.30 Rick Stein’s Secret France
The chef takes a culinary tour of
France, starting in Dieppe, where
he prepares freshly caught
turbot and forages for sea herbs
along the Bay of the Somme. (R)
8.30 Wild Cuba: A Caribbean
Journey Part two of two. Colin
Stafford-Johnson encounters
bats emerging from limestone
caves and tiny frogs, smaller than
a fingernail, living in patches
of hidden emerald forest.
9.30 QI Panellists Aisling Bea, Joe
Lycett, David Mitchell and Alan
Davies join host Sandi Toksvig
to take an unconventional
look at the oceans. (R)
10.00 A Question of Sport Relief 10.20 ITV News at Ten; Weather
A special edition of A Question
of Sport. Joining the panel
alongside Matt Dawson and
Phil Tufnell are Mel Giedroyc,
Tom Davis, Chris Kamara and
Paddy McGuinness. Sport
Relief continues on BBC One.
10.35 Newsnight Katie Razzall
reviews the day’s important
national and international news.
11.10pm Miriam’s Big Fat Adventure
Part two of two. Miriam Margolyes
sets out to find out what is being
done to combat the obesity crisis. (R)
12.10am The Million Pound Disability
Payout – Panorama (R) 12.40 Murder
24/7. The fatal stabbing of a 36-year-
old. (R) 1.40-6.30am This Is BBC Two
ITV
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103
6.00am Good Morning Britain
9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news.
10.00 This Morning Celebrity chat
and lifestyle features.
12.30pm ITV Lunchtime News;
Weather The latest headlines.
12.50 Regional News; Weather
1.00 ITV Racing: Cheltenham
Festival The final day of the
meeting, including feature race
the 3.30 Magners Cheltenham
Gold Cup Steeple Chase, plus
races at 1.30, 2.10, 2.50 and 4.10.
4.30 Tipping Point: Best Ever Finals
Compilation edition. (R)
5.00 The Chase Quiz show,
hosted by Bradley Walsh. (R)
6.00 Regional News; Weather
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather
7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy is surprised
by what he learns, Samson
comes clean to a shocked
Vinny, and Andrea is given an
idea on how to set up Kim.
7.30 Coronation Street Geoff
tries to persuade Yasmeen that
Alya is out to get him, while
Gary convinces Maria that he
did nothing to provoke Ali
and that the guy is a maniac.
8.30 Vera A woman is murdered in a
hedgerow but her son survives
the attack, only to fall beneath
the ice of a frozen pond as he
makes his escape. DCI Vera
Stanhope drags him out, and
against all the odds he pulls
through. As the investigation
into the mother’s killing unfolds,
Vera finds a kindred spirit in
the boy and comes to realise
the key to solving the case
lies deep in his memory. (R)
A fresh perspective on the
major stories of the day,
featuring national and
international news, with
reports and analysis from
ITV’s correspondents.
10.55 Regional News; Weather
11.10pm McDonald & Dodds The
detective duo investigate the murder
of a wealthy patient at a private clinic Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
– an investigation made all the more
difficult by the complex relationships
of the other residents. (R) 1.00am
Home Shopping 3.00 Who’s Doing the Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone.
Dishes? Former Big Brother winner
Josie Gibson plays mystery host to
four strangers at her home. (R)
3.50-6.00am ITV Nightscreen
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
Channel 4
FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
(R) 10.10 Undercover Boss
Canada (R) 11.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA (R)
12.05pm Come Dine with Me (R)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
2.10 Countdown Word game.
3.00 A Place in the Sun Menorca. (R)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun:
Where Are They Now? (R)
5.00 Four in a Bed The B&B owners
meet for the last time.
5.30 Come Dine with Me Business
owner Maz plays host.
6.00 The Simpsons Homer worries
about his marriage. (R)
6.30 Hollyoaks Mitchell asks Martine
and Walter about his father. (R)
7.00 Channel 4 News Reports.
8.00 How Healthy Is Your Gut?
Sabrina Grant examines why the
gut is so important to a person’s
overall wellbeing and how it
affects everything from their
moods and energy, to sleep and
health. Assisted by six
volunteers, all with a typical gut
complaint and all on a quest for
a healthier gut, Sabrina puts
some of the most popular
regimes to the test and sees
whether they actually work.
Cameras observe the volunteers
as they try actions including a
radical bone broth diet and a
10-night detox programme
at an Ayurvedic retreat.
9.00 Gogglebox The armchair
critics share their opinions on
what they have been watching
during the week, and capturing
their instant reactions.
10.00 The Last Leg Adam Hills, Josh
Widdicombe and Alex Brooker
are joined by guests for a comic
review of the past seven days.
11.05pm The Big Narstie Show Tinie
Tempah, Asim Chaudhry, Desiree Burch
and Benjamin Zephaniah join grime
legend Big Narstie and his comic
co-pilot Mo Gilligan for more music
and chat. Last in series. 12.10am  FILM
(2016/15) A former boy band member
does everything he can to maintain his
celebrity status. Comedy, starring
★★★★ 1.45 The Simpsons (R) 2.35
Come Dine with Me (R) 4.55 Location,
Location, Location (R) 5.50-6.00am
Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R)
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News at
Lunchtime 12.15 Parking Hell: At
War with the Law (R) 1.10 Access.
Showbiz news and gossip.
1.15 Home and Away See 6.00pm.
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 Killer Contractor (2019/PG)
Premiere. Thriller, starring
Alyshia Ochse. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Finn blurts out
to Elly that he loves her and
wants to be with her. (R)
6.00 Home and Away Marilyn
bonds with the Parata family,
newcomers to the bay. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Secrets of the Royal Train
The trains used by the
monarchy for over 150 years,
meeting staff who have served
on the Queen’s train for many
years. (R) Followed by 5 News
8.00 The Yorkshire Steam
Railway: All Aboard (4/6)
The August bank holiday
coincides with a heatwave and
in the old carriage kitchen,
Sammie swelters with 100 meals
to prepare and serve, while on
the loco footplates the boiler
kicks out an extra 1,000 degrees
of heat. Followed by 5 News
9.00 Celebrity Britain by Barge:
Then & Now (5/6) Bill Oddie,
Jennie Bond, Anne Diamond
and Pete Waterman head to
Northamptonshire to navigate
the Grand Union Canal, once
the vital transport link between
Birmingham and London.
10.20 The Royals: A Family in
Crisis A look at issues affecting
the monarchy in 2019, including
the rift between princes Harry
and William, the scandal
surrounding Prince Andrew,
and Prince Philip’s car crash. (R)
11.50pm My Houseful of Animals:
90 Cats & More Part one of two.
Heartwarming and dramatic stories of
animal rehabilitation. (R) 12.50am Lip
Sync Battle UK: Michelle Keegan v
Jason Manford. Musical gameshow. (R)
1.15 The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show
3.15 The Dog Rescuers with Alan
Davies (R) 4.00 Recycling: Is it a Con?
(R) 4.45 House Doctor (R) 5.10 Great
Scientists. A profile of Albert Einstein.
(R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R)
GOLD
6.00am Teleshopping 7.20 The Piglet Files 7.45 As
Time Goes By 8.20 Porridge 9.00 Porridge 9.40
Hi-de-Hi! 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple
bill. 12.20pm Keeping Up Appearances 1.00
Hi-de-Hi! 1.40 The Good Life 2.20 Keeping Up
Appearances 3.00 Dad’s Army. Double bill. 4.20
Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill. 6.20 The
Good Life 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Dad’s Army. Double
bill. 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.35 Peep
Show. Double bill. 11.40 All Round to Mrs Brown’s
1.00am Harry Enfield and Chums 1.35 Peep Show.
Double bill. 2.35-4.00am The Rebel. Double bill.
DAVE
7.10am Eat Your Heart Out with Nick Helm.
Double bill. 8.00 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters. Double bill. 10.00 American Pickers.
Double bill. 12.00noon Timber Kings 1.00 Top
Gear 2.00 Cop Car Workshop 3.00 Scrapyard
Supercar 4.00 Top Gear. Double bill. 6.00
Taskmaster 7.00 Room 101. Double bill. 8.20 Have
I Got a Bit More News for You 9.20 QI 10.00 Red
Dwarf. Double bill. 11.20 Meet the Richardsons
12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00 Have I Got a Bit More
News for You 2.00 Room 101 2.40 Go 8 Bit: DLC.
Double bill. 3.35-4.00am The Indestructibles
DRAMA
7.10am Soldier, Soldier. Double bill. 9.00 The Bill
10.00 Classic Holby City 11.00 Casualty 12.00noon
The Bill 1.00 Classic EastEnders. Double bill.
2.20 London’s Burning 3.20 Monarch of the
Glen 4.20 Bergerac 5.25 Bread 6.00 Hi-de-Hi!
6.40 As Time Goes By 7.20 Last of the Summer
Wine 8.00 Murdoch Mysteries 9.00 Death in
Paradise 10.15 New Tricks 11.35 Waking the Dead
2.00am The Bill 2.50-4.00am London’s Burning
YESTERDAY
6.00am Ronnie Kray and the Pervert Peer 7.10
Viking Dead 8.00 Murder Maps 9.00 Hitler’s
Propaganda Machine 10.00 Auschwitz: The
Nazis and the Final Solution 11.00 Abandoned
Engineering 12.00noon Impossible Engineering
1.00 Time Team 2.00 Walking Through History:
North Norfolk 3.00 Abandoned Engineering 4.00
Impossible Engineering 5.00 The Good Nazi 6.00
Auschwitz: The Nazis and the Final Solution 7.00
Abandoned Engineering 8.00 Warbird Workshop
9.00 Abandoned Engineering. Double bill. 11.00
Impossible Engineering 12.00m’t Abandoned
Engineering 1.00 As 10am 2.00-3.00am As 6am
ITV2
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 7.50 Emmerdale. Double bill. 8.50 You’ve
Been Framed! Gold 9.20 Superstore. Double bill.
10.15 Dinner Date 11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm
Emmerdale. Double bill. 1.15 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.45 Dinner
Date 3.50 Dress to Impress 4.50 Take Me Out
6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold: Funniest 100
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold: Family Special
8.00 Two and a Half Men. Double bill. 9.00
 FILM The Hangover (2009/15) Comedy, starring
Bradley Cooper. ★★★★ 11.10 Family Guy.
Double bill. 12.00m’t American Dad! Double bill.
1.00 The Cleveland Show 1.30 Two and a Half
Men. Double bill. 2.25 Plebs. Double bill. 3.20
ITV2 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30-7.00pm
BBC Wales Today. The latest reports.
ITV WALES As ITV except: 12.50-1.00pm ITV
News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News Wales
at Six 10.55-11.10pm ITV News Cymru Wales
S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 12.05 Arfordir Cymru: Sir Benfro
12.30 Heno 1.00 Y Fets 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 3.05 Priodas Pum Mil 4.00 Awr Fawr:
Olobobs. A little Fozzybob appears to be lost.
4.05 Patrol Pawennau. The PAW Patrol has to
Friday
MARCH 13
How Healthy Is Your Gut?, Channel 4, 8pm
ITV3
6.00am Classic Coronation Street. Double bill.
6.55 Classic Emmerdale. Double bill. 7.55
Heartbeat 8.55 Man About the House. Double
bill. 9.55 That’s My Boy 10.25 A Touch of Frost
12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic Emmerdale.
Double bill. 2.50 Classic Coronation Street.
Double bill. 3.55 Midsomer Murders 5.55
Heartbeat 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot
8.00 Doc Martin. Double bill. 10.00 Scott &
Bailey 11.00 A Touch of Frost. Double bill. 3.10am
ITV3 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
BBC FOUR
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top of the Pops:
1989 8.00 Queens of Soul 9.00 Top of the Pops:
1989 9.30 Metal Britannia 11.00 Slipknot Unmasked:
All Out Life 12.00m’t On Guitar – Lenny Kaye!
1.00 Showbands: How Ireland Learned to Party
2.00 Hits, Hype & Hustle: An Insider’s Guide to
the Music Business 3.00-4.00am Queens of Soul
SKY ONE
6.00am Monkey Life. Double bill. 7.00 RSPCA
Animal Rescue. Double bill. 8.00 The Dog
Whisperer 9.00 Stop, Search, Seize 10.00
Highway Patrol. Double bill. 11.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles. Double bill. 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0.
Double bill. 3.00 MacGyver 4.00 Modern Family.
Double bill. 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama.
Double bill. 6.30 The Simpsons. Four episodes.
8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Carpool Karaoke:
Special 10.00 The Late Late Show with James
Corden: Best of the Week 11.00 The Trip to
Greece 11.35 Avenue 5 12.10am Caught on
Dashcam 1.05 Flintoff: Lord of the Fries 2.05 The
Force: Manchester 3.05 Road Wars 4.00 Stop,
Search, Seize 5.00-6.00am Futurama. Double bill.
SKY ATLANTIC
6.00am Urban Secrets 7.00 Without a Trace.
Triple bill. 10.00 The West Wing. Double bill.
12.00noon Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation 2.00 The West Wing. Double bill.
4.00 Without a Trace. Triple bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime
help everybody that has been affected by the
ice storm. 4.20 Halibalw 4.30 Sion y Chef. Izzy
misses her mum so Magi takes her out for the
day. 4.45 Cei Bach. There are no eggs left in
Glan y Don, and the visitors are starting to
shout for their breakfasts. 5.00 Stwnsh: Gwboi
a Twm Twm. Leni’s bike is taken from outside
the Frosty Mart. 5.10 Chwarter Call. Comedy
sketches and silly characters. 5.25 Y Barf. Villain
Arch-Elin tries to stop Welsh children learning
poetry. Together with sidekick Noni, Y Barf
uses all his might to defeat her. Last in series.
5.50 Ffeil. News and sport. 6.00 Dan Do. Aled
Samuel and Mandy Watkins visit an Edwardian
house with a contemporary extension, a house
Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Bloods 9.00
Babylon Berlin. Double bill. 11.00 The Outsider
12.05am Oz. Double bill. 2.35  FILM Real Women
Have Curves (2002/12) Comedy drama, starring
America Ferrera and Lupe Ontiveros. ★★★
4.15-6.00am The West Wing. Double bill.
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
6.00am This Changes Everything (2018/15) ★★★
7.45 Cold Blood Legacy (2019/15) ★★★
9.25 We Die Young (2019/15) ★★★ 11.05 Doom:
Annihilation (2019/15) ★★★ 12.50pm The Lion
King (2019/PG) ★★★★ 2.50 Brightburn (2019/15)
★★★★ 4.30 I’ll Take Your Dead (2019/15) ★★★
6.00 The Art of Self-Defense (2019/15) ★★★ 8.00
The Lion King (2019/PG) ★★★★ 10.00 Brightburn
(2019/15) ★★★★ 11.45 I’ll Take Your Dead
(2019/15) ★★★ 1.30am Hell Is Where the Home Is
(2018/18) ★★★ 3.15 Cold Blood Legacy (2019/15)
★★★ 5.00 Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil
and Vile: Special 5.30-6.00am Final Score: Special
FILM4
11.00am The Greatest Show on Earth (1952/U)
★★★★ 2.10pm Man in the Saddle (1951/U) ★★★
4.05 The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976/PG)
★★★ 6.25 Now You See Me 2 (2016/12) ★★
9.00 Baywatch (2017/15) ★★ 11.15 This Is England
(2006/18) Drama, with Stephen Graham. ★★★★
1.20-3.15am Green Room (2015/18) ★★★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
6.00am Johnny on the Spot (1954/U) ★★★ 7.30
Convoy (1940/U) ★★ 9.15 Trouble in Store (1953/
PG) ★★★ 11.00 Richard Diamond 11.30 Glimpses
11.35 Catch Us if You Can (1965/PG) ★★★ 1.25pm
Talking Pictures With Craig Douglas 2.00 Rooms
2.30 Pink String and Sealing Wax (1945/PG) ★★★
4.20 Glimpses 4.35 Love Story (1944/U) ★★
6.50 Glimpses 7.15 Ring of Spies (1964/PG) ★★★
9.00 Hazell 10.00 Over the Hill (1993/PG) ★★★
12.05am Frankenstein Created Woman (1967/15)
★★★★ 2.05 Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973/18)
★★★ 3.50 The Black Abbot (1934/PG) ★★★
5.00-6.00am Rooms. Double bill.
built by Twm o’r Nant and a Victorian guest
house. Last in series. 6.30 Heno. Magazine
show, featuring stories from all over Wales. 7.00
Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 7.20  LIVE Clwb
Rygbi Rhyngwladol. Wales Under-20s v Scotland
Under-20s (kick-off 7.35pm). Coverage of both
teams’ concluding Six Nations encounter, held
at Stadiwm Zip World in Colwyn Bay. English
commentary available. 9.45 Noson Lawen. Cefin
Roberts introduces performances from the
Bryn Terfel Theatr in Bangor. 10.50-11.55pm
Bang. The killer targets his third victim, which
has a seismic impact on Sam and Gina. The
police step up their efforts to protect the
accused men and start to monitor their phones.
 BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday
Kitchen Live 11.30 Nadiya’s
Family Favourites (R) 12.00noon
Football Focus. Updates.
1.00 BBC News; Weather
1.15 Six Nations Rugby Union Wales
v Scotland (kick-off 2.15pm).
Gabby Logan introduces
coverage of the opening match
in the final round of fixtures,
which takes place at the
Principality Stadium in Cardiff.
4.30 Final Score A round-up of this
afternoon’s football results.
5.15 BBC News; Regional News
5.35 Celebrity Mastermind Famous
faces sit in the famous chair.
6.05 Pointless Celebrities Quiz.
6.55 Catchpoint Gameshow,
hosted by Paddy McGuinness.
7.25  Live Six Nations Rugby
Union France v Ireland (kick-off
8.00pm). John Inverdale takes
over presenting duties for the
final scheduled match of the
championship, staged at the
Stade de France. Les Bleus have
two wins from two at home in
this year’s tournament and
began their campaign by beating
World Cup finalists England
convincingly in their opening
match. Ireland are unbeaten in
three of their last four Six
Nations games in Paris and have
enjoyed an extended break
following the postponement
of their match against Italy.
With analysis by Martin Johnson,
Paul O’Connell, Jeremy Guscott
and Thomas Castaignede.
Commentary comes from
Andrew Cotter, Brian
Moore and Jamie Heaslip.
10.05 BBC News; Weather
10.25 Match of the Day Gary
Lineker presents highlights
of the latest Premier League
matches, which included
Manchester City v Burnley
at the Etihad Stadium and
Leicester City v Watford. The
current league champions have
stolen a march on the Foxes in
the race to finish second in the
league this season, but both
clubs would have been
expecting to pick up three more
points at home to the Clarets
and Hornets respectively.
11.50pm To Be Announced 1.40am
Weather for the Week Ahead
1.45-6.00am BBC News. Headlines.
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.40am The Dog Ate My Homework
(R) 7.10 The Dengineers (R) 7.40
Blue Peter: Sport Relief Special
(R) 8.30 Deadly 60 (R) 9.00 The
Secrets of Your Food (R) 10.00
Nightmare Pets SOS (R) 11.00
Spy in the Snow 12.00noon
Hairy Bikers’ Best of British (R)
12.45 The £100K House: Tricks of
the Trade. Home makeovers. (R)
1.45 Hugh’s Wild West River
Cottage’s Hugh Fearnley-
Whittingstall goes in search of
wildlife in the West Country. (R)
2.50 To Be Announced
5.15 Flog It! Auction items. (R)
6.00 Wild Ireland: The Edge of
the World Colin Stafford-
Johnson takes a journey along
Ireland’s Atlantic coast. (R)
7.00 Wild Cuba: A Caribbean
Journey Colin Stafford-
Johnson explores corners of
Cuba that few outsiders
have seen. In this authored
odyssey, the natural magic of
one of Earth’s most intriguing
countries is revealed. (R)
8.00 Great American Railroad
Journeys Michael Portillo
examines the history of North
America’s rail networks using
Appleton’s General Guide to
the United States and Canada
of 1879 to plot his course.
9.00 To Be Announced
9.30 To Be Announced
10.55 To Be Announced
11.55pm To Be Announced 12.20am
To Be Announced 3.25-6.45am This Is
BBC Two. Preview of upcoming
programmes from BBC Two.
ITV
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled! 9.25 ITV
News 9.30 James Martin’s
Saturday Morning. The TV chef
hosts a weekend chat show
from the comfort of his own
home. 11.40 Living on the
Veg. Vegan food dishes. (R)
12.40pm ITV News; Weather
12.50 Love Your Garden Transforming
gardens across the nation. (R)
1.50 Midsomer Murders Barnaby
investigates art forgery. (R)
3.30 ITV News; Weather
3.45 Regional News; Weather
4.00 Six Nations Live Italy v England
(kick-off 4.45pm). The second
fixture in the final round of
fixtures, where the visitors are
expected to claim maximum
points at the Stadio Olimpico.
7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway The popular
duo’s entertainment show,
featuring undercover pranks,
surprises galore, star guests and
a chance for a member of the
audience to win the items
advertised in one of last
week’s commercial breaks.
8.30 The Voice UK Spinning-chair
singing contest, in which
celebrity coaches seek out the
nation’s best vocal talent. But
there is a simple twist – with
the four coaches selecting
their teams through blind
auditions, looks play no part
in the selection process,
meaning each singer is
chosen on vocal ability alone.
10.30 ITV News; Weather
10.45  American Gangster
(2007/18) The story of 1970s
drug kingpin Frank Lucas,
whose innovative methods
of smuggling heroin into the
US made him one of the
leading figures in the New York round up, examine and explain the
underworld. A detective is
assigned to bring Lucas’s empire stories of the week. (R) 2.20 The Big
down, but his investigation is
undermined by police
corruption. Ridley Scott’s
fact-based crime drama,
starring Denzel Washington,
Russell Crowe, Chiwetel Ejiofor 3.20 Hollyoaks. Drama following the
and Josh Brolin. ★★★★
1.30am Home Shopping 3.00 Rebound and young adults in Chester. (R)
(R) 3.50-6.00am ITV Nightscreen
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
Channel 4
FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Mike & Molly (21/24) 6.45
Frasier (R) 7.40 The Big Bang
Theory (R) 9.00 The Simpsons
(R) 12.00noon Formula 1
Australian Grand Prix Qualifying
Highlights. From Melbourne.
1.30 A Place in the Sun (R)
2.00 The Dog House (R)
3.00 To Be Announced
4.00 Four in a Bed Five episodes. The
competition begins at Chimneys
B&B in Holbrook, Suffolk; from
Copperfields Guest House in
Kent; at The George and
Abbotsford in Scotland; from
the Massimo Perrulli’s hotel in
County Durham; the owners
discover what they’ve been paid
and settle some scores. (R)
6.30 Channel 4 News Headlines.
7.00 Prince Albert: A Victorian
Hero Revealed Professor Saul
David examines Prince Albert’s
influence on British culture,
governmental policy and even
international relations. The
queen’s consort faced an uphill
struggle to be taken seriously
by a nation and parliament that
viewed him with hostility, but
by the time of his death at
the age of 42, he was widely
regarded as a forward-thinking
reformer. The programme draws
on the royal archives to gain
a full picture of his legacy.
8.00 Queen Victoria’s Last Love:
Abdul Karim The monarch’s
relationship with Indian servant
Abdul Karim, which led to
jealousy in the royal household
when he rose from waiter to
one of Victoria’s closest friends.
9.00 To Be Announced
10.30 ITV News; Weather
1.25am The Last Leg Adam Hills, Josh
Widdicombe and Alex Brooker are
joined by guests for a comic review of
the significant moments of the past
seven days. As usual, the hashtag
#isitok paves the way for the gang to
leading and most entertaining news
Narstie Show. Rapper Tinie Tempah,
comedian and actor Asim Chaudhry,
comedian Desiree Burch and writer
Benjamin Zephaniah join the grime
legend and co-host Mo Gilligan. (R)
lives and loves of a group of teenagers
5.20-6.00am To Be Announced
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! Kid’s TV. (R)
10.00 SpongeBob SquarePants
10.15 The Loud House (R) 10.25
Access 10.30 WWE SmackDown
Highlights. Action with the over-
the-top stars of the States,
profiling fighters causing a stir
and following feuds as they spill
out of the ring. 11.30 Friends (R)
1.30pm A Marriage Made For Murder:
Hailey Dean Mysteries (2018/
PG) Premiere. Crime drama,
starring Kellie Martin. ★★★
3.15 Death On Duty: Hailey Dean
Mysteries (2019/PG) Premiere.
Crime drama, starring Kellie
Martin and Viv Leacock. ★★★
5.00 5 News Update
5.05 To Be Announced
6.05 To Be Announced
7.00 To Be Announced
8.00 To Be Announced
9.00 To Be Announced
10.30 To Be Announced
1.00am The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show
3.10 To Be Announced 4.00 Britain’s
Parking Hell. Documentary charting
the daily battles across Britain for
parking spaces, looking at the struggles
faced by motorists, councils and
private parking companies. 4.45 House
Doctor. Californian interior designer
and estate agent Ann Maurice visits a
house on the market, and offers
advice on making it more attractive
to would-be buyers. (R) 5.10 Divine
Designs. Paul Binski, Professor of the
History of Medieval Art at Cambridge youngsters, along with the latest showbiz
University, chronicles the history of
Britain’s religious art. 5.35-6.00am
Wildlife SOS. Following the work of
volunteers at an animal sanctuary. (R)
GOLD
6.00am Teleshopping 7.25 The Piglet Files 7.55
The Good Life 8.35 Porridge 9.15 Hi-de-Hi! 9.55
Keeping Up Appearances 10.35 Only Fools and
Horses. Nine episodes. 9.30pm All Round to Mrs
Brown’s 10.50 Harry Enfield and Chums 11.30 The
Mighty Boosh. Double bill. 12.40am Black Books.
Triple bill. 2.20 The Rebel. Double bill. 3.30 The
Mighty Boosh 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Eat Your Heart Out
with Nick Helm. Double bill. 8.00 Top Gear 9.00
Aussie Pickers 10.00 American Pickers. Double
bill. 12.00noon Storage Hunters. Four episodes.
2.00 Border Interceptors. Double bill. 3.00
Border Force: America’s Gatekeepers 4.00 Top
Gear. Double bill. 6.00 Red Bull Soapbox Race
7.00 Would I Lie to You? 7.40 Not Going Out.
Double bill. 9.00 Hypothetical 10.00  FILM
Sausage Party (2016/18) Animated comedy,
featuring the voice of Seth Rogen. ★★★★
11.55 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
12.55am Have I Got a Bit More News for You
1.55 Josh. Triple bill. 3.35 Beat the Internet with
John Robins 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DRAMA
6.00am Teleshopping 7.30 Cadfael 9.00 Lovejoy.
Double bill. 11.00 Sharpe 1.00pm Auf
Wiedersehen, Pet. Double bill. 3.00 Ms Fisher’s
Modern Murder Mysteries 4.00 Father Brown.
Double bill. 6.00 The Brokenwood Mysteries
8.00 Murdoch Mysteries 9.00 Life on Mars.
Double bill. 11.40 Kavanagh QC 1.10am Hetty
Wainthropp Investigates. Double bill. 3.00 The
White Princess 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
YESTERDAY
6.00am The British Middle Class 7.10 Shakespeare
– The Legacy with John Nettles 8.00 Secret Nazi
Bases 9.00 Deep Wreck Mysteries. Double bill.
11.00 Private Lives. Double bill. 1.00pm Expedition
with Steve Backshall. Six episodes. 7.00
Fleetwood Mac – Don’t Stop 8.00 Meat Loaf:
In and Out of Hell 9.00 Royals on the Frontline
10.00 Titanic: Stories from the Deep 11.00 Chris
Tarrant: Extreme Railway Journeys 12.00m’t
Impossible Engineering 1.00 Shakespeare –
The Legacy with John Nettles 2.00 The British
Middle Class 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV2
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records 7.15 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show. Triple bill. 9.40 Dress to
Impress. Double bill. 11.35 Celebrity Catchphrase
12.40pm You’ve Been Framed! Gold. Double bill.
2.15  FILM Uncle Buck (1989/12) Family comedy,
starring John Candy. ★★★ 4.10  FILM Minions
(2015/U) Animated comedy, with the voice of
Sandra Bullock. ★★★ 6.00  FILM Jurassic Park
(1993/PG) Genetically engineered dinosaurs
escape from an eccentric tycoon’s safari park.
Adventure, with Sam Neill. ★★★★★ 8.30  FILM
Fast & Furious 8 (2017/12) Action adventure
sequel, starring Vin Diesel and Charlize Theron.
★★★★ 11.10 Family Guy. Triple bill. 12.35am
American Dad!. Double bill. 1.30 The Cleveland
Show 1.55 Ibiza Weekender 3.00 The Stand Up
Sketch Show 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 5.25-5.35pm
BBC Wales Today. The day’s headlines.
ITV WALES As ITV except: 3.45-4.00pm ITV
News Cymru Wales. The day’s headlines.
S4C 6.00am Cyw 8.00 Stwnsh Sadwrn. Two
hours of fun, games and competitions for
stories and celebrity gossip. 8.20 Pat a Stan.
Adventures with the two friends who turn
everyday events into crazy adventures. 8.55
Bwystfil 9.15 Seligo. Slapstick series about a
group of funny blue men. 9.20 Larfa. Computer-
Saturday
MARCH 14
Live Six Nations Rugby Union, BBC One, 1.15pm
ITV3
6.00am That’s My Boy 6.25 Midsomer Murders.
Double bill. 10.05 Coronation Street 1.00pm
Lewis 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 5.00
Midsomer Murders. Triple bill. 11.00 Scott &
Bailey. Triple bill. 2.00am Great Estates of
Scotland 3.00 That’s My Boy 3.25 ITV3
Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
BBC FOUR
7.00pm Rick Stein’s Long Weekends 8.00 South
Pacific 9.00 Hidden 10.00 To Be Announced
11.15 Saturday Night Fever – The Ultimate Disco
Movie 12.25am Top of the Pops: 1989. Double
bill. 1.25 Slipknot Unmasked: All Out Life
2.25-3.25am Rick Stein’s Long Weekends
SKY ONE
6.00am Modern Family. Triple bill. 7.30 The F1
Show 8.00 The Simpsons. Four episodes. 10.00
What’s Up TV 10.30 Soccer AM 12.00noon
Magnum P.I. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 2.00 The
Simpsons. Double bill. 3.00  LIVE Gillette Soccer
Saturday. Up-to-the-minute scores. 5.00 The
Simpsons. Five episodes. 7.30 Modern Family
8.00 A League of Their Own 9.00  FILM Jack
Reacher (2012/12) Action thriller, starring Tom
Cruise. ★★★ 11.25 Strike Back: Vendetta
12.25am Hawaii Five-0 1.25 The Heist 2.25 The
Force: Manchester 3.25 The Real A&E 4.00
 LIVE Formula 1 5.05-6.00am  LIVE Formula 1
SKY ATLANTIC
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets 7.00 The
British 8.00 To Be Announced 9.00pm  FILM
Gia (1998/18) Fact-based drama, starring
Angelina Jolie. ★★★ 11.20 Boardwalk Empire.
Double bill. 1.35am Oz 2.50 To Be Announced
4.00-6.00am Fish Town. Double bill.
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
6.00am This Changes Everything (2018/15) ★★★
7.45 The 2020 Top Ten Show 8.00 Doom:
Annihilation (2019/15) ★★★ 9.45 Brightburn
(2019/15) ★★★★ 11.30 The 2020 Top Ten Show
generated animation. 9.25 Pigo dy Drwyn. Two
teams go head to head in a series of snot-tastic
games including zorbing, bungee ropes and a
Velcro wall. 10.00 Trysorau’r Teulu. Antiques
experts search for people’s collectibles – from
priceless treasures to items that merely have
sentimental value – to see if they are willing
to sell. 11.00 Cynadleddau’r Gwanwyn 2020
1.00pm Ffermio. Country and farming magazine
programme, including features on all aspects
of agriculture and rural life. 1.30 Nyrsys.
Documentary following Wales’ most
experienced nurses. Last in series. 2.00 Cynefin.
Heledd Cynwal, Iestyn Jones and Sion Tomos
Owen explore the history and legends of Bro
11.45 The Lion King (2019/PG) ★★★★ 1.45pm
Robert the Bruce (2019/15) ★★★ 4.00 The Art of
Self-Defense (2019/15) Comedy thriller, starring
Jesse Eisenberg. ★★★ 6.00 The 2020 Top Ten
Show 6.15 Brightburn (2019/15) Superhero horror,
starring Elizabeth Banks. ★★★★ 8.00 The Lion
King (2019/PG) Live action/animated adventure,
featuring the voice of Donald Glover. ★★★★
10.00 Robert the Bruce (2019/15) Premiere.
Drama, starring Angus Macfadyen. ★★★ 12.15am
The 2020 Top Ten Show 12.30 I’ll Take Your Dead
(2019/15) ★★★ 2.00 We Die Young (2019/15) ★★★
3.45 Cold Blood Legacy (2019/15) ★★★ 5.30-
6.00am The Hurricane Heist: The Eye of the Storm
FILM4
11.00am Mary and the Witch’s Flower (2017/U)
★★★★ 1.25pm The Thirty-Nine Steps (1978/PG)
★★★ 4.15 To Be Announced 6.15 Ghostbusters
(2016/12) Fantasy comedy, starring Kristen Wiig.
★★★ 9.00 Pitch Perfect 2 (2015/12) The Barden
Bellas try to win the World Championships
of A Cappella. Comedy sequel, starring Anna
Kendrick and Rebel Wilson. ★★★ 11.15 Darkman
(1990/18) Thriller, starring Liam Neeson. ★★★
1.05-3.30am Regression (2015/15) ★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
6.00am Old Mother Riley Meets the Vampire
(1952/U) ★★★ 7.25 Blood of the Vampire (1958/
PG) ★★ 9.10 Cairo Road (1950/U) ★★ 11.00 My
Brother Jonathan (1947/U) ★★★ 1.05pm The
Green Man (1956/PG) ★★★★ 2.40 The Net
(1953/U) Thriller, starring Phyllis Calvert. ★★★
4.15 In the Doghouse (1961/U) Veterinary
comedy, starring Leslie Phillips. ★★★ 6.05
Angels One Five (1953/U) Second World War
adventure, starring Jack Hawkins. ★★★ 8.05 The
Upturned Glass (1947/PG) Drama, starring James
Mason. ★★★ 9.50 And Then There Were None
(1974/PG) Agatha Christie mystery, starring
Oliver Reed. ★★★★ 11.50 The Deep (1977/15)
Action adventure. ★★★ 2.20am Midnight
Fear (1990/18) ★★ 4.05 Song Hits on Parade
4.15-6.00am Subway in the Sky (1959/PG) ★★★
Ffestiniog. 3.00 Creaduriaid Gwyllt Affrica. The
wildlife of Africa. Last in series. 4.00  LIVE Clwb
Rygbi Rhyngwladol. Six Nations rugby coverage,
focusing on Wales’ games. 7.15 Newyddion a
Chwaraeon 7.30 Heno Nos Sadwrn. Saturday
night edition of the magazine programme,
featuring stories from all over Wales.
8.00 Noson Lawen. All-singing, all-dancing
entertainment show filmed on location and
guided by a guest presenter. 9.00 Oci Oci Oci.
Darts quiz presented by Eleri Sion and Ifan
Jones Evans. 10.00 Jonathan. Guests join host
Jonathan Davies to discuss the latest news in
the world of rugby union. 11.00-11.35pm
Hansh. Tunes, comedy and fresh faces.
 BEST RADIO of the week
RADIO 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
5.00am Weekend Early Breakfast.
7.00 Matt And Mollie. 10.00 Radio  Paige. 3.00 Sounds Of The 70s. 5.00
SUNDAY
1 Anthems. 11.00 Jordan North.
1.00pm Dev And Alice. 4.00
Radio 1’s Life Hacks. 6.00 Official
Chart: First Look On Radio 1. 7.00
Chillest Show With Phil Taggart. 9.00
Radio 1’s Rock Show With Daniel P
Carter. 11.00 Huw Stephens. 1.00am
Radio 1’s Residency. 3.00 Gemma
Collins Podcast. 3.40 BBC Radio 1
And 1Xtra’s Stories. 4.00-6.30am
Adele Roberts. RADIO 2 (FM:
88-91MHz) 6.00am Good Morning
RADIO 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
MONDAY
Scott Mills. 4.00 Nick Grimshaw.
5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Nick Grimshaw.
7.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With
Annie Mac. 8.00 Radio 1’s Power
Down Playlist With Annie Mac.
9.00 Rickie, Melvin And Charlie.
11.00 Radio 1’s Indie Show With Jack
Saunders. 1.00am Radio 1’s Drum
& Bass Show With Rene LaVice. 3.00
Radio 1’s Chill Mix. 3.30 Radio 1’s
Workout Anthems. 4.00-6.30am
Early Breakfast With Adele Roberts.
RADIO 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
TUESDAY
Scott Mills. 4.00 Jordan North. 5.45
Newsbeat. 6.00 Jordan North. 7.00
Radio 1’s Future Sounds With Annie
Mac. 9.00 Rickie, Melvin And Charlie.
11.00 Radio 1’s Indie Show With Jack
Saunders. 1.00am Annie Nightingale.
3.00 Radio 1’s Movie Mixtape. 4.00-
6.30am Early Breakfast With Adele
Roberts. RADIO 2 (FM: 88-91MHz)
5.00am Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 The
Zoe Ball Breakfast Show. 9.30 Ken
Bruce. 12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00
RADIO 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
WEDNESDAY
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
Scott Mills. 4.00 Nick Grimshaw.
5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Nick Grimshaw.
7.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With
Annie Mac. 9.00 Rickie, Melvin And
Charlie. 11.00 Radio 1’s Indie Show
With Jack Saunders. 1.00am Benji B.
3.00 Radio 1’s RnB Anthems. 4.00-
6.30am Early Breakfast With Adele
Roberts. RADIO 2 (FM: 88-91MHz)
5.00am Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 The
Zoe Ball Breakfast Show. 9.30 Ken
Bruce. 12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00
RADIO 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
THURSDAY
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
Scott Mills. 4.00 Nick Grimshaw.
5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Nick Grimshaw.
7.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With
Annie Mac. 9.00 Rickie, Melvin
And Charlie. 11.00 Radio 1’s Indie
Show With Jack Saunders. 1.00am
Radio 1’s Soundsystem With Toddla
T. 3.00 Radio 1’s Rap Anthems. 4.00-
6.00am Arielle Free. RADIO 2
(FM: 88-91MHz) 5.00am Vanessa
Feltz. 6.30 Zoe Ball. 9.30 Ken Bruce.
12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve
RADIO 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.00am Best New Pop. 6.30 Matt
And Mollie. 10.00 Radio 1 Anthems.
11.00 Maya Jama. 12.45pm
FRIDAY
Newsbeat. 1.00 Dev And Alice.
4.00 The Official Chart Show. 5.45
Newsbeat. 6.00 Dance Anthems. 7.00
Dance Party With Annie Mac. 9.00
Pete Tong. 11.00 Danny Howard.
1.00am Radio 1’s Essential Mix. 3.00
Radio 1’s Drum & Bass Mix. 3.30
Annie Mac In The Mix. 4.00-5.00am
Radio 1’s Wind Down. RADIO 2
(FM: 88-91MHz) 5.00am Vanessa
Feltz. 6.30 Zoe Ball. 9.30 Ken Bruce.
RADIO 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
5.00am Radio 1’s Weekend Early
SATURDAY
Breakfast. 7.00 Weekend Breakfast
With Matt And Mollie. 10.00
Radio 1 Anthems With Maya Jama.
11.00 Maya Jama. 1.00pm Dev And
Alice. 4.00 Radio 1’s Classic Dance
Anthems With Mistajam. 5.00 Today’s
Dance Anthems With Mistajam. 6.00
Radio 1’s Future Dance Anthems
With Mistajam. 7.00 1Xtra’s Takeover
With DJ Target. 9.00 1Xtra’s Rap
Show With Tiffany Calver. 11.00
Diplo And Friends. 1.00am Radio 1’s
Asian Beats With Kan D Man & DJ
Sunday. 9.00 Sunday Love Songs.
11.00 Michael Ball. 1.00pm Elaine
Alan & Mel. 7.00 Claudia On Sunday.
9.00 James Taylor. 10.00 The Swing
& Big Band Show. 11.00 Don Black.
12.00m’t OJ Borg. 3.00-5.00am
Sounds Of The 60s. RADIO 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 7.00am Breakfast.
9.00 Sunday Morning. 12.00noon
Private Passions. 1.00 R3 Lunchtime
Concert. 2.00 The Early Music
Show. 3.00 Choral Evensong. 4.00
Jazz Record Requests. 5.00 The
Listening Service. 5.30 Words And
RADIO 2 (FM: 88-91MHz) 5.00am
Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 Zoe Ball Breakfast
Show. 9.30 Ken Bruce. 12.00noon
Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve Wright In
The Afternoon. 5.00 Sara Cox. 7.00
Jo Whiley. 9.00 The Blues Show
With Cerys Matthews. 10.00 Trevor
Nelson’s Rhythm Nation. 12.00m’t
OJ Borg. 3.00-5.00am Sounds
Of The 70s With Johnnie Walker.
RADIO 3 (FM: 90.2-92.4MHz)
6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential
Classics. 12.00noon Composer Of
The Week: Beethoven Unleashed —
At Home. 1.00 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Steve Wright In The Afternoon. 5.00
Sara Cox. 7.00 Jo Whiley. 9.00 The
Jazz Show With Jamie Cullum. 10.00
Trevor Nelson’s Rhythm Nation.
12.00m’t OJ Borg. 3.00 Sounds Of
The 80s With Gary Davies. 4.50-
5.00am Radio 2 Sounds Of The
80s Mastermix. RADIO 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 6.30am Breakfast.
9.00 Essential Classics. 12.00noon
Composer Of The Week: Beethoven
Unleashed — At Home. 1.00 Radio 3
Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon
Concert. 5.00 In Tune. 7.00 In Tune
Mixtape. 7.30 Radio 3 In Concert.
Steve Wright. 5.00 Sara Cox. 7.00 Jo
Whiley. 9.00 The Folk Show With
Mark Radcliffe. 10.00 Trevor Nelson’s
Rhythm Nation. 12.00m’t OJ Borg.
3.00 Pick Of The Pops. 4.00-5.00am
Pick Of The Pops. RADIO 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 6.30am Breakfast.
9.00 Essential Classics. 12.00noon
Composer Of The Week: Beethoven
Unleashed — At Home. 1.00 Radio 3
Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon
Concert. 3.30 Choral Evensong.
4.30 New Generation Artists.
5.00 In Tune. 7.00 In Tune Mixtape.
7.30 Radio 3 In Concert. 10.00 Free
Wright In The Afternoon. 5.00
Sara Cox. 7.00 Jo Whiley. 9.00 The
Country Show With Bob Harris.
10.00 Trevor Nelson’s Rhythm
Nation. 12.00m’t OJ Borg. 3.00
Tracks Of My Years. 4.00 The Craig
Charles House Party Mixtape. 4.30-
5.00am Huey Morgan’s Loungin’
Mix. RADIO 3 (FM: 90.2-92.4MHz)
6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential
Classics. 12.00noon Composer Of
The Week: Beethoven Unleashed —
At Home. 1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. 2.00 Afternoon Concert.
5.00 In Tune. 7.00 In Tune Mixtape.
12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve
Wright. 5.00 Sara Cox. 7.00 Tony
Blackburn’s Golden Hour. 8.00 Friday
Night Is Music Night. 10.00 Sounds
Of The 80s. 12.00m’t Anneka Rice.
2.00 The Country Playlist With
Charles Esten. 3.00 CMA Country
Music Festival 2019. 4.00-6.00am
Huey Morgan. RADIO 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 6.30am Breakfast.
9.00 Essential Classics. 12.00noon
Composer Of The Week: Beethoven
Unleashed — At Home. 1.00 Radio 3
Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon
Concert. 4.00 In Tune — Beat
Limelight. 3.00 Danny Howard’s
Club Mix. 4.00-5.00am Radio 1’s
Chillout Anthems. RADIO 2 (FM:
88-91MHz) 6.00am Sounds Of
The 60s With Tony Blackburn. 8.00
Dermot O’Leary. 10.00 Graham
Norton. 1.00pm Pick Of The Pops.
3.00 Rylan On Saturday. 6.00 Liza
Tarbuck. 8.00 Country 2 Country.
12.00m’t Ana Matronic’s Dance
Devotion. 2.00 Sounds Of The 20th
Century. 3.00 Radio 2 In Concert:
Noel Gallagher. 4.00-6.00am Angela
Scanlon. RADIO 3 (FM: 90.2-
92.4MHz) 7.00am Breakfast. 9.00
Music. 6.45 Sunday Feature: Queen
Of Technicolour. 7.30 Drama On
3: Only Mountains. 9.00 R3 In
Concert. 11.30 Nordic Sounds.
12.30-6.30am Through The Night.
RADIO 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz)
5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Bells
On Sunday. 5.45 Lent Talks. 6.00
News. 6.05 Something Understood.
6.35 My Living World. 6.57 Weather.
7.00 News. 7.10 Sunday. 7.54 R4
Appeal. 7.57 Weather. 8.00 News.
8.10 Sunday Worship. 8.48 A Point
Of View. 8.58 Tweet Of The Day.
9.00 Broadcasting House. 10.00
Concert. 2.00 Afternoon Concert.
4.30 Early Music Now. 5.00 In Tune.
7.00 In Tune Mixtape. 7.30 Radio 3 In
Concert. 10.00 Music Matters. 10.45
The Essay: Home Sweet Home. 11.00
Night Tracks. 12.30-6.30am Through
The Night. RADIO 4 (FM: 92.4-
94.6 MHz) 5.30am News Briefing.
5.43 Prayer For The Day. 5.45
Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet Of The
Day. 6.00 Today. 9.00 Start The Week.
9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM)
Book of the Week:The Peregrine.
10.00 Woman’s Hour. 11.00 Out
Of The Ordinary. 11.30 Loose Ends.
10.00 Free Thinking. 10.45 The Essay:
Home Sweet Home. 11.00 Night
Tracks. 12.30-6.30am Through The
Night. RADIO 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6
MHz) 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43
Prayer For The Day. 5.45 Farming
Today. 5.58 Tweet Of The Day.
6.00 Today. 8.31 (LW) Yesterday In
Parliament. 9.00 The Patch. 9.30
New Storytellers. 9.45 (LW) Daily
Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week:
The Peregrine. 10.00 Woman’s
Hour. 11.00 The Cash For Ash
Scandal. 11.30 Art Of Now: Good
Vibrations. 12.00noon News. 12.01
Thinking. 10.45 The Essay: Home
Sweet Home. 11.00 Night Tracks.
12.30-6.30am Through The Night.
RADIO 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz)
5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer
For The Day. 5.45 Farming Today. 5.58
Tweet Of The Day. 6.00 Today. 8.31
(LW) Yesterday In Parliament. 9.00
Only Artists. 9.30 The Curious Cases
Of Rutherford & Fry. 9.45 (LW) Daily
Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week:
The Peregrine. 10.00 Woman’s Hour.
10.55 The Listening Project. 11.00 Le
Divide. 11.30 Alexei Sayle’s Imaginary
Sandwich Bar. 12.01pm (LW)
7.30 Radio 3 In Concert. 10.00 Free
Thinking. 10.45 The Essay: Home
Sweet Home. 11.00 Night Tracks:The
Archive Remix. 11.30 Unclassified.
12.30-6.30am Through The Night.
RADIO 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz)
5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer
For The Day. 5.45 Farming Today.
5.58 Tweet Of The Day. 6.00 Today.
8.31 (LW) Yesterday In Parliament.
9.00 In Our Time. 9.45 (LW) Daily
Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the Week:
The Peregrine. 10.00 Woman’s
Hour. 11.00 From Our Own
Correspondent. 11.30 My Amey And
Beethoven! 5.00 In Tune. 7.00 In Tune
Mixtape. 7.30 Radio 3 In Concert.
10.00 The Verb. 10.45 The Essay:
Home Sweet Home. 11.00 Late
Junction. 1.00-7.00am Through The
Night. RADIO 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6
MHz) 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43
Prayer For The Day. 5.45 Farming
Today. 5.58 Tweet Of The Day.
6.00 Today. 8.31 (LW) Yesterday In
Parliament. 9.00 Desert Island Discs.
9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM)
Book:The Peregrine. 10.00 Woman’s
Hour. 11.00 Forum Internum. 11.30
Teatime. 12.00noon News. 12.01
Record Review. 11.45 Music Matters.
12.30pm This Classical Life. 1.00
Inside Music. 3.00 Sound Of Cinema.
4.00 Music Planet. 5.00 J To Z. 6.30
Opera On 3 From The Met. 10.00
New Music Show. 12.00m’t Freeness.
1.00-7.00am Through The Night.
RADIO 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz)
5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer
For The Day. 5.45 The Curious Cases
Of Rutherford & Fry. 6.00 News And
Papers. 6.07 Ramblings. 6.30 Farming
Today This Week. 6.57 Weather.
7.00 Today. 8.51 (LW) Yesterday
In Parliament. 9.00 Saturday Live.
The Archers. 11.15 Desert Island
Discs. 12.00noon News. 12.01 (LW)
Shipping Forecast. 12.04 Nature
Table. 12.30 Food Programme.
12.57 Weather. 1.00 The World This
Weekend. 1.30 Art Of Now: North
Korea. 2.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time. 2.45 The Listening Project.
3.00 Drama:The Pallisers. 4.00
Open Book. 4.30 Conversations
On A Bench. 5.00 File On 4. 5.40
Profile. 5.54 Shipping. 5.57 Weather.
6.00 News. 6.15 Pick Of The Week.
7.00 The Archers. 7.15 Reluctant
Persuaders. 7.45 Dangerous Visions:
12.00noon News. 12.01 (LW)
Shipping Forecast. 12.04 The Call
Of The Wild. 12.18 You And Yours.
1.00 The World At One. 1.45 Living
National Treasures. 2.00 The Archers.
2.15 Drama:This Thing Of Darkness.
3.00 Round Britain Quiz. 3.30 The
Food Programme. 4.00 Lift Going Up.
4.30 The Digital Human. 5.00 PM.
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 5.57
Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock News.
6.30 Nature Table. 7.00 The Archers.
7.15 Front Row. 7.45 The Book Of
Strange New Things. 8.00 The Cash
For Ash Scandal. 8.30 Analysis. 9.00
(LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 The
Call Of The Wild. 12.18 Call You
And Yours. 12.57 Weather. 1.00 The
World At One. 1.45 Living National
Treasures. 2.00 The Archers. 2.15
Drama: Dangerous Visions: Brave Old
World. 3.00 Short Cuts. 3.30 Costing
The Earth. 4.00 Law In Action. 4.30
A Good Read. 5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW)
Shipping Forecast. 5.57 Weather.
6.00 Six O’Clock News. 6.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy:
Hexagonal Phase. 7.00 The Archers.
7.15 Front Row. 7.45 The Book Of
Strange New Things. 8.00 File On
Shipping. 12.04 The Call Of The Wild.
12.18 You And Yours. 12.57 Weather.
1.00 The World At One. 1.45 Living
National Treasures. 2.00 The Archers.
2.15 Drama: Dangerous Visions: Body
Horror. 3.00 Money Box Live. 3.30
Inside Health. 4.00 Thinking Allowed.
4.30 The Media Show. 5.00 PM.
5.54 (LW) Shipping. 5.57 Weather.
6.00 Six O’Clock News. 6.30 Mark
Watson Talks A Bit About Life. 7.00
The Archers. 7.15 Front Row. 7.45
The Book Of Strange New Things.
8.00 The Moral Maze. 8.45 Lent
Talks. 9.00 Costing The Earth. 9.30
Me. 12.00noon News. 12.01 (LW)
Shipping. 12.04 The Call Of The Wild.
12.18 You And Yours. 12.57 Weather.
1.00 The World At One. 1.45 Living
National Treasures. 2.00 The Archers.
2.15 Drama: Dangerous Visions: Body
Horror. 3.00 Ramblings. 3.27 Radio 4
Appeal. 3.30 Open Book. 4.00 The
Film Programme. 4.30 BBC Inside
Science. 5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping.
5.57 Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock
News. 6.30 The Break. 7.00 The
Archers. 7.15 Front Row. 7.45 The
Book Of Strange New Things. 8.00
Law In Action. 8.30 The Bottom Line.
(LW) Shipping. 12.04 The Call Of
The Wild. 12.18 You And Yours.
12.57 Weather. 1.00 The World At
One. 1.45 Living National Treasures.
2.00 The Archers. 2.15 Drama:
Dangerous Visions: Body Horror.
3.00 Gardeners’ Question Time. 3.45
Short Works. 4.00 Last Word. 4.30
Feedback. 4.55 The Listening Project.
5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping. 5.57
Weather. 6.00 News. 6.30 The Now
Show. 7.00 The Archers. 7.15 Front
Row. 7.45 The Book Of Strange New
Things. 8.00 Any Questions? 8.50 A
Point Of View. 9.00 Asa Briggs:The
10.30 The Patch. 11.00 The Week
In Westminster. 11.30 From Our
Own Correspondent. 12.00noon
News. 12.01 (LW) Shipping. 12.04
Money Box. 12.30 The Now Show.
12.57 Weather. 1.00 News. 1.10 Any
Questions? 2.00 Any Answers? 2.45
Drama:The Man With The Golden
Gun. 4.15 Weekend Woman’s Hour.
5.00 Saturday PM. 5.30 The Bottom
Line. 5.54 Shipping. 5.57 Weather.
6.00 News. 6.15 Loose Ends. 7.00
Profile. 7.15 Archive on 4: Saturday
Review. 8.00 After The Fall Out.
9.00 Drama:Take-Away. 9.45 Annika
8 - 14 March
Dark Vignettes. 8.00 Feedback.
8.30 Last Word. 9.00 Money Box.
9.25 R4 Appeal. 9.30 Analysis.
10.00 Westminster Hour. 11.00 Film
Programme. 11.50 A Point Of View.
12.00m’t News. 12.15 Thinking
Allowed. 12.45 Bells On Sunday.
12.48 Shipping. 1.00 As BBC World
Service. 5.20-5.30am Shipping.
RADIO 5 LIVE (MW: 909/993
kHz) 5.00am 5 Live Science. 6.00
Sunday Breakfast. 9.00 Pienaar’s
Politics. 10.00 Laura Whitmore.
11.30 5 Live Sport:The Squad.
12.30pm 5 Live Sport. 2.00 5 Live
Psychosis:Talking To The Voices In
My Head. 9.30 Start The Week. 9.59
Weather. 10.00 The World Tonight.
10.45 Book at Bedtime:The Call Of
The Wild. 11.00 Night Vision. 11.30
Today In Parliament. 12.00m’t News
And Weather. 12.30 Book of the
Week:The Peregrine. 12.48 Shipping
Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service.
5.20-5.30am Shipping Forecast.
RADIO 5 LIVE (MW: 909/993
kHz) 5.00am Morning Reports.
5.15 Wake Up To Money. 6.00 5 Live
Breakfast. 9.00 Your Call. 10.00 The
Emma Barnett Show. 1.00pm Nihal
4. 8.40 In Touch. 9.00 Inside Health.
9.30 New Weird Britain. 10.00
The World Tonight. 10.45 Book at
Bedtime:The Call Of The Wild. 11.00
Liam Williams — Ladhood. 11.30
Today In Parliament. 12.00m’t News
And Weather. 12.30 Book of the
Week:The Peregrine. 12.48 Shipping
Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service.
5.20-5.30am Shipping Forecast.
RADIO 5 LIVE (MW: 909/993
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Emma Barnett Show. 1.00pm Nihal
Only Artists. 9.45 One To One.
9.59 Weather. 10.00 The World
Tonight. 10.45 Book:The Call Of
The Wild. 11.00 Ken Cheng: Chinese
Comedian. 11.15 Cracking Up.
11.30 Today In Parliament. 12.00m’t
News. 12.30 Book:The Peregrine.
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Service. 5.20-5.30am Shipping.
RADIO 5 LIVE (MW: 909/993
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Breakfast. 9.00 Your Call. 10.00 The
Emma Barnett Show. 1.00pm Nihal
Arthanayake. 4.00 5 Live Drive.
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Our Time. 10.00 The World Tonight.
10.45 Book at Bedtime:The Call
Of The Wild. 11.00 Resist Phoney
Encores! 11.30 Today In Parliament.
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RADIO 5 LIVE (MW: 909/993
kHz) 5.00am Morning Reports.
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Breakfast. 9.00 Your Call. 10.00 The
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Arthanayake. 4.00 5 Live Drive. 7.00
Last Victorian Improver. 10.00 The
World Tonight. 10.45 Book:The Call
Of The Wild. 11.00 A Good Read.
11.30 Today In Parliament. 11.55 The
Listening Project. 12.00m’t News
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Week:The Peregrine. 12.48 Shipping
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5.20-5.30am Shipping Forecast.
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kHz) 5.00am Morning Reports.
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Call. 10.00 Chiles On Friday. 1.00pm
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5 Live Sport. 3.00 5 Live Sport:
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Sport: Premier League Football.
4.00 5 Live Sport. 4.30 5 Live Sport:
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8.00 Peter Allen. 10.00 Stephen
Nolan. 1.00-5.00am Up All Night.
RADIO SCOTLAND (FM: 92.4-
92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries 585)
kHz) 6.00am Brainwaves. 6.30 New
Every Sunday. 7.00 Our Story. 7.30
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12.00noon Sportsound. 5.00 Take
The Floor. 7.00 Jazz Nights. 9.00
Classics Unwrapped. 11.00 Iain
Anderson. 1.00-6.00am As R5 Live.
Arthanayake. 4.00 5 Live Drive.
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10.30 Colin Murray. 1.00-5.00am Up
All Night. RADIO SCOTLAND
(FM: 92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810
(Dumfries 585) kHz) 6.00am
Good Morning Scotland. 9.00
Mornings. 12.00noon Lunchtime
Live. 1.30 Clever About Cash. 2.00
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It On With Bryan Burnett. 8.00 Vic
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12.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
Arthanayake. 4.00 5 Live Drive.
7.00 5 Live Sport. 8.00 5 Live Sport:
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10.30 Colin Murray. 1.00-5.00am Up
All Night. RADIO SCOTLAND
(FM: 92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810
(Dumfries 585) kHz) 6.00am Good
Morning Scotland. 9.00 Mornings.
12.00noon Lunchtime Live. 1.30
Our Story. 2.00 The Afternoon Show
With Janice Forsyth. 4.00 Drivetime.
6.00 Get It On With Bryan Burnett.
8.00 Another Country With
Ricky Ross. 10.00 Roddy Hart.
12.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
7.00 5 Live Sport. 8.00 5 Live Sport:
Champions League Football. 10.30
Colin Murray. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. RADIO SCOTLAND (FM:
92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries
585) kHz) 6.00am Good Morning
Scotland. 9.00 Mornings. 12.00noon
Lunchtime Live. 1.30 Brainwaves.
2.00 The Afternoon Show With
Grant Stott. 4.00 Drivetime. 6.00
Get It On With Bryan Burnett. 8.00
The Quay Sessions With Roddy Hart.
10.00 Classic Scottish Albums. 10.30
Debate Night. 11.30 Debate Night
Extra. 12.30-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
5 Live Sport. 8.00 5 Live Sport: Matt
Dawson’s Rugby Show. 9.00 5 Live
Formula 1. 10.00 Question Time
Extra Time. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. RADIO SCOTLAND
(FM: 92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810
(Dumfries 585) kHz) 6.00am Good
Morning Scotland. 9.00 Mornings.
12.00noon Lunchtime Live. 1.30 The
Kitchen Cafe. 2.00 The Afternoon
Show With Grant Stott. 4.00
Drivetime. 6.00 Get It On With
Bryan Burnett. 8.00 Travelling Folk.
10.00 Natasha Raskin Sharp.
12.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
The Cheltenham Festival. 4.00
Kermode And Mayo’s Film Review.
5.00 5 Live Drive. 7.00 5 Live Sport:
The Friday Football Social. 9.30
That Peter Crouch Podcast. 10.00
Stephen Nolan. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. RADIO SCOTLAND (FM:
92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries
585) kHz) 6.00am Good Morning
Scotland. 9.00 Mornings. 12.00noon
Lunchtime Live. 1.30 Breaking The
News. 2.00 The Friday Afternoon
Show. 4.00 Drivetime. 6.00
Sportsound. 10.00 Ashley Storrie.
1.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
4.45 5 Live Sport: Six Nations 2020.
7.00 6-0-6. 8.30 Kermode And
Mayo’s Film Review. 9.30 Stephen
Nolan. 12.00m’t All Hail Kale.
12.30 Hooked. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. RADIO SCOTLAND (FM:
92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries
585) kHz) 6.00am Clever About
Cash. 6.30 Out Of Doors. 8.00
Good Morning Scotland. 10.00
Shereen. 11.30 Breaking The News.
12.00noon Off The Ball. 2.00
Sportsound. 5.30 Off The Ball. 7.00
Take The Floor. 9.00 Pipeline. 10.00
Billy Sloan. 1.00-6.00am As R5 Live.
 MindyEvery
Hammond
week in S Magazine
Gales, floods and flurries of snow, the arrival of spring was proving a challenge
for our columnist – and then the ponies kicked off… Illustration by Susan Hellard
ife isn’t easy for a lot of us following
L the Christmas hiatus. After all the fun,
we find ourselves coping with a lengthy
slog through January (which feels like
the longest month of the year) and
breathing a sigh of relief as February arrives
and we can start looking forward to spring.
Then what happens? Gale-force winds strong
enough to strip the last remaining leaves from
the trees, flooding for poor souls still trying
to recover from the last water ingress, snow
sprinkled in for extra inconvenience and, in
case any of us emerge practically unscathed,
this year the fates decide to go all out and
throw coronavirus into the mix… just for fun.
I thought we’d managed to escape damage-
free. In fact, during my long-distance call with
my very concerned husband, I happily reported,
“We’re all fine, no dramas… I had to track
down horse rugs that had blown across the
fields but apart from that – and quite a few
skinny branches littering the ground – no
problems at all.”
Why do I do that? Why tempt fate so
blatantly?
The next morning, the rain had
stopped and the wind dropped
from 50 to 30mph gusts. The
horses had been incredibly
patient, coping admirably with 48
hours in their stables, so it seemed
fair to let them stretch their legs,
if only for a few hours before the
wind picked up again.
While waiting for his paddock
gate to be opened, mild-mannered
Finn, who had been slightly lame
before his enforced box rest, felt
one whoosh of wind between his
legs and managed to rear (he never
rears). Admittedly, his front hooves
only rose a foot above the ground,
but in Finn’s mind he’d performed
SUSAN HELLARD C/O ARENA
a pirouette. He was so pleased, he
galloped off down the field,
slowing to a trot in the far corner,
tail vertical, and glancing all
around as if waiting for applause.
I suspect Romeo witnessed his
neighbour’s performance because
S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
when it was his turn he had already decided on
his showpiece. The second he was free of his
head collar, he spun 180 degrees and headed
for the electric tape, checked his stride then
sailed clean over it with a foot to spare. He
landed, bucked three times, then galloped two
circuits, overjoyed at his arrival on forbidden
ground, his rug flapping in the breeze.
Relieved nobody had injured themselves,
I carried on with my daily duties in the cold,
blustering wind and tried not to swear as
soiled shavings blew off the back of the little
truck into my face.
Rosie the donkey was braying her head off,
eager for her daily feed of hay. As the track to
her field was a mudslide, I tied half a bale
securely with twine, threw it into the
wheelbarrow and set off down the track to her
and her pony friends, only to be met halfway by
Chico, our miniature Shetland.
He’d escaped from his paddock and his best
friend, Scout, was zooming back and forth along
the fence line trying to find the exit to join him.
Chico trotted merrily towards me at the sight
of the sweet-smelling hay but checked himself
at the last moment, suddenly remembering he
was on the wrong side of the fence, turned tail
and scurried off into the distance. I had to
chuckle – his cheeky little buck as he set off
showed the wind blowing through the trees
wasn’t the only thing in the air…
My sense of humour was seriously failing
two hours later. I had driven every inch of the
land before finally catching up with “cheeky
Cheeks”, as he’s affectionately known.
Realising he was about to be caught, the little
devil shot through the entrance to the dingle
(inaccessible to vehicles) and almost gave me
a heart attack as he briefly considered a trot
across the slippery wooden walkway at the
edge of the pond. Fortunately, his front hooves
skidded on impact and he thought better of the
idea, scurrying up the shallow bank instead.
Even better, because he’d never been in there
before, the little rascal didn’t realise he was
heading for a dead end.
Icy rain was falling, the mud was slick under
my feet and I was wet through, but I knew I had
to play a waiting game to outwit my naughty
pony. I found a treat in my pocket and after
waiting five or six minutes watched as his
head went down to graze and
walked calmly towards him.
“Hello Cheeks, what a good
boy,” I crooned, hand
outstretched with my one,
slightly damp horse treat.
The second his hairy nose
came into contact with my
hand, I threw a lead rope
around his neck.
He didn’t even flinch – and
walked angelically back to his
paddock where I discovered a
horizontal fence pole had
broken. I used the lead rope to
tie the fence back together and
returned home to find several
tiles missing from the barn
roof, leaving a gaping hole, and
Izzy’s bedroom window letting in
a steady drip of rainwater.
Yep, no dramas at all… ● S
75
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If you prefer to receive information and offers from organisations carefully selected by Express Newspapers, please tick here [ ]. To see how your data is processed please refer to Express’s Privacy Policy: https://www.express.co.uk/privacy This offer is provided by High Street
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GETTY IMAGES
Olivia Wilde, Pisces, March 10, 1984
Aries MAR 21 - APR 20
Don’t go overboard on your spending at the
moment and bear in mind the old saying, “Look
after the pennies and the pounds will take care
of themselves.” In the meantime, a housemate
needs reminding there are bills to be paid.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3901*
Taurus APR 21 - MAY 21
A misunderstanding early on will relate to
changes your partner is making. If you’ve been
prepared for it, the blow won’t be hard to take
but if you’re taken by surprise, it will be a while
before you adapt and accept what is going on.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3902*
Express
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S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020
What does this week hold for you?
Gemini MAY 22 - JUN 21
If you’ve made a mistake, take responsibility,
admit to making a wrong move and promise
yourself you’ll take this lesson to heart. If you’re
hoping to impress your boss or someone in
authority, you may have to step up your efforts.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3903*
Cancer JUN 22 - JUL 23
Share your ideas on a social networking site
and you might get helpful feedback that nudges
you a step closer to a personal goal. Online
activities will be lucky for you in some way.
A partner or close friend is acting strangely.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3904*
Leo JUL 24 - AUG 23
You’re growing tired of caustic comments being
made by a new member of your team. But this
person might not be aware of just how much
hard work you’ve already put into a project and
needs to get a handle on just what is going on.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3905*
Virgo AUG 24 - SEPT 23
You can’t be too careful about money. Someone
will try to push you into a long-term financial
plan, but you need time to consider it. Despite
the plan’s promises of a profit, it will pay you to
get quotations from a few other companies.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3906*
Libra SEPT 24 - OCT 23
An easy come, easy go attitude could cause
misunderstandings in a close relationship. A
partner wants greater commitment and would
like to feel you are serious about your joint
future. Ties of affection can be strengthened.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3907*
*For Russell’s starline: Calls to starlines cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access charge – maximum of six minutes
duration. The service is for entertainment only. SP: Spoke 0333 202 3390
Russell Grant
Scorpio OCT 24 - NOV 22
You’re feeling sociable and want to have some
fun – but take care not to attract the wrong kind
of attention. You may crave love and loyalty and
dream of romance and security, but an intense
flirtation might not lead to true love.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3908*
Sagittarius NOV 23 - DEC 21
Your flexible outlook is just what’s needed to
deal with an unexpected issue and with your
help a team will turn a muddle or misconception
into a profitable experience. Information you
receive will confirm your choices are correct.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3909*
Capricorn DEC 22 - JAN 20
Ignore a colleague who seems to think they
know better than you. This know-it-all hasn’t a
clue what they’re talking about – and it shows.
If they’re sensible, they’ll admit they’re at fault
because they stand to learn a lot from you.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3910*
Aquarius JAN 21 - FEB 19
Because you have plenty to do and consider, this
is not the best of times for making decisions
about health matters. Your judgment is not as
reliable as it could be when it comes to deciding
what is and what isn’t good for you.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3911*
Pisces FEB 20 - MAR 20
Only you can turn your ambitions into reality.
Stop hoping and wishing “if only” about
something you’ve been longing for. Make an
effort and you can change your life – but you
need to stop dreaming and take action.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3912*
77
 £1,000 Crossword
ACROSS DOWN
1 The US president’s retreat 1 Supporters of private
in the Appalachian enterprise (11)
Mountains, Maryland (4,5) 2 Thomas _, German-born
5 Professor _, archenemy novelist awarded the Nobel
of Conan Doyle’s Prize for Literature 1929 (4)
Sherlock Holmes (8) 3 To shorten or condense
9 In Greek mythology, the first a written work (7)
woman who opened a box 4 An excess of liabilities
and released all the ills that over assets (7)
beset humanity (7) 5 A city and resort in
10 Irish republican political southeast Florida, US,
party founded in 1926 (6,4) on Biscayne Bay (5)
11 An Italian variety of 6 The smallest and weakest
chicory, with purple young animal in a litter (4)
leaves streaked with white; 7 British artist famous for his
eaten raw in salads (9) paintings of horses; president
12 Juan _, former Argentine of the Royal Academy of Art
president whose second wife (1944-9) (6,8)
Eva is the subject of a stage 8 A hat with the brim folded
and film musical (5) up against the crown to
13 _ de-camp, military form three sides (7)
officer serving as personal 11 Accusations that two
assistant to a senior (4) people or groups make
Post your solution to Competition 16072 Sunday Express General Knowledge 15 The positive balance in a about each other (14)
(£1,000) Crossword, PO Box 12577, Sutton Coldfield B73 9BS, to arrive by 23:59 person’s bank account (6) 14 PW _, Prime Minister and
on Friday. Spellings and definitions are taken from the Collins English Dictionary 17 A male servant, especially later President of South
(13th edition out now, price £40), which is available to order from the Express one in livery (7) Africa during the late 1970s
Bookshop (see page 77). For full terms, go to www.express.co.uk/comprules. 19 The Marquess of _, and 1980s (5)
Conservative statesman 16 An invasion or hostile
Name ______________________________________________________________ who served as Prime attack; raid or incursion (6)
Minister three times (9) 17 The Marriage Of _, comic
Address ____________________________________________________________ 21 Open grasslands, opera in four acts by
characteristic of much Austrian composer Wolfgang
____________________________________________________________________ of tropical Africa (9) Amadeus Mozart (6)
22 The official report of the 18 Repudiations or denials (11)
____________________________________________________________________ proceedings of the British 20 Freshwater cyprinid fish
Winners will be announced in the Sunday Afternoon section of Sunday’s newspaper in two weeks Parliament (7) with a deep compressed
23 Retief _, South African body covered in silvery
SOLUTION FOR MARCH 1 golfer who won the US scales (5)
B A N G L A
O O
D E S H
E C B
W A S S A I
I N
L
A
WIN
£50 MYSTERY
Open in 2001 and 2004 (6)
25 _ monster, a large,
22 A sheltered port (7)
23 Erle Stanley _, American
L R B R L Y S A N D E R WORD BONUS venomous, brightly lawyer and pulp fiction writer
L A P I S L A Z U L I L P K coloured lizard (4) best known for his Perry
Call 0907 181 2738 for
A L C M T H E B I R D S a chance to win £50. Give 26 A cruel, vicious or Mason stories (7)
R L L A P A Z E P the answer to 34 Across, savage person (5) 24 In astrology, the eighth
D U R A N T E Y K I N K A J O U leaving your name and 27 Bases or fortified places sign of the zodiac (7)
S O A T R O U R address. Calls cost 80p per maintained and guarded 28 Quick in movement;
minute plus your telephone
L Y R E S R S I L O D by troops (9) nimble (5)
company’s network access
A M O A B E D E N I M charge and last no longer 31 The act or ceremony of 29 _ Britain, art gallery on
A L A N G L C B than two minutes. Usual installing a monarch (10) Millbank, London, which
L O D G I N G S D T E S S E R A Express rules apply. For 32 A typical example of a class opened in 1897 (4)
A O P R I D E N L full terms go to express. or characteristic; embodiment, 30 Sir Thomas _, English
co.uk/comptc. The winner
N A U T I C A L P N O U personification (7) lawyer, social philosopher,
will be chosen from all
L L A A L T O N T O W E R S correct entries received by 33 Village in Cumbria, at the head author, statesman, and
A R T E S I A N Y I D T 23:59 on Saturday. The of a lake of the same name (8) Lord Chancellor to Henry VIII,
D O R T C E O E editor’s decision is final. 34 People who write news executed on a charge
D I N M O N T C H A L L E N G E R SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390.
articles (9) of treason (4)

78 S MAGAZINE ★ 8 MARCH 2020