Name

EPPSP Group 38
Butler University

The Experiential Program for Preparing School Principals

STANDARD:
#33 - Resolve a conflict with an irate patron. Resolve volatile problems involving individuals
from both the internal and external community. Win/win solutions are a desired outcome for the
resolution of these situations.

Summary:

Aside from being a teacher, I am also a cheerleading coach at one of the high schools in my
district. Serving in this role allows me to work with a completely different population of students
in a new context that I would otherwise not experience at the elementary level. However, with in
athletics has proven that the responsibility of attending to the athletes’ needs and the needs of
their parents is just as crucial as it is in the classroom setting.

Cheerleading is a unique sport, in that it is “in season” almost all year long. At the start of the
school year we set our expectations for the athletes for football season and basketball season.
As we transitioned from football to basketball, our expectation was that in order for the athletes
to make the varsity team, they must have a specific skill set. If they did not, they would be on
the junior varsity team.

While these expectations were laid out in writing and detailed at a parent meeting at the start of
the new season, we, the coaches, still experienced some backlash regarding these them.

At the start of this semester, I received an email from a parent asking me to call her. There was
no tone of discontent or frustration in the message, as I had seen in other situations, so the first
thought was that she had a question. I responded to her that I would call her after school, once I
arrived at the high school. When there is potential for a poor situation, the other coach and I
prefer to have the conversations together in an effort to avoid any untrue accusations from
arising. With that in mind, once I arrived at the high school the other coach and I went to the
athletic office to make the phone call.

Once we connected with the parent, she explained to us that she felt like her daughter was
treated unfairly for being on the JV team instead of the varsity team. As she continued to talk, it
was obvious that she was becoming escalated. She went on to share that her daughter had
exceptional skills and deserved a space on the team. After this, the other coach and I thanked
her for sharing her concern and affirmed that her daughter is undeniably a very talented
cheerleader, but as stated previously, an athlete would not be able to be considered for the
varsity team if they did not have the previously stated skills. The mother continued to escalate at
this point and began questioning our ability as coaches and saying that her daughter was being
targeted. We apologized that she felt this way and tried to reassure her that we treat every
athlete equally, allow them fair opportunities to acquire necessary skills, and try to better every
athlete involved in the program. By now, the mother was clearly very frustrated, so we thanked
her for sharing her concern and ensured her that we would continue to develop her daughter’s
skills for future seasons.

Once the conversation ended, the other coach and I spoke with our athletic directors to make
them aware of the situation. We shared with them the expectations we had given the parents
and athletes at the start of the season so they could remain on the same page as us in the
event that the parent contacted them for further action.

Reflection:

In my two years as a teacher I have dealt with upset parents, parents who were frustrated with
their child’s academics, and questioned my teaching of their child. I have learned a lot from
these situations, and feel comfortable speaking with frustrated parents in an academic setting.
However, being that this was my first full year coaching, I had never dealt with an upset parent
in an athletic setting until this point.

Before having the conversation, the other coach and I discussed potential things this parent
could be upset about, and we had a hunch that these expectations were the source of her
frustration. We went into the conversation on the same page about the set expectations.

The conversation started calmly and it seemed as though the parent was understanding the
points we were making. We agreed with her on the fact that her cheerleader is very talented and
will undoubtedly progress very well throughout her time in the program. At this time, we could
not offer her a spot on the varsity team because she did not have the skills that we delineated
as “required” before the start of the season. At this point, her frustration began to show. This is
when she began telling us that she felt like her daughter was being targeted and questioned our
ability as coaches.

In teaching, I try to do everything in my power to ensure that students’ and parents’ needs are
being met. I do not like to leave a conversation with anyone still frustrated. So, when the parent
expressed that she felt her child was being targeted, I immediately wanted to retort with an
apology and an affirmation that we treat all athletes fairly. I wanted to share all of the ways that I
try to support the cheerleaders individually and help them acquire new skills. However, instead
of doing this, the other coach, who has more experience with these situations than I do, urged
me to not do so. Instead, we simply thanked her for expressing her concern and told her that we
would continue working with her daughter to improve her skills.

After the conversation was over, the other coach and I discussed what had happened. She told
me that, from her experience, when a parent is escalated in this way, it is best to just let them
express their feelings, thank them, and conclude the conversation. Many times these parents
simply want to feel heard. I appreciated this advice, as I had never been in this situation before.

Once we were finished talking, we shared what had happened with the athletic directors in an
effort to keep them on the same page as us in the situation. Interestingly enough, after
explaining the situation to them, they gave the same advice as the other—to just hear the parent
out, thank them, and conclude the conversation.

While this situation truly caught me off guard, I feel like I learned a valuable lesson that will
undoubtedly help me as I continue to grow. I know that I will continue to encounter frustrated
parents in my role as a teacher, a coach, a leader, and eventually an administrator. I will truly try
to keep this advice of actively listening to the parents’ concerns in mind as I move forward and
deal with future situations as they arise.

Artifacts: