AUGUST 22, 2019 VOL.

29

THE GAZETTE
The official newsletter of National Lifestyle Villages

IN THIS ISSUE Become Amphibian

AMPHIBIOUS LIFE:
for free! Dr
RELEASE YOURSELF AND Konigwasser trials
LIVE FREELY
new technology.
COMMON ROOM by Ellana R. Hawthorne
TRANSFORMATION
Amphibian; the term that's been fast gaining notoriety the past
year is about to come to the village! For those who don't know,
Dr Konigwasser who hails from Germany has been freeing the
MEET THE ALL NEW rich and famous from their bodies for a significant cost. Their
ailments, their physical insecurities, their exhaustion and
BINGO HOST, BETTY fatigue, gone in 24 hours with his miracle procedure. The
process splits the soul and essence of being from the physical
BROWN!
limitations of the body, allowing one to live freely, limitlessly
and without restriction! As well as not having to drag a tired old
body around, you also don't have to feed it, rest it, exercise it or
anything else that wastes your valuable time and money.
MONTHLY EVENTS The procedure itself is predominately spent in a sedated and
monitored state which allows the body to prepare for storage. In
CALENDER the final two hours of sedation Dr Konigwasser applies a light
bath over your body, disintegrating the barrier between body
and soul and allowing your essence to be released and freed
from it's physical restraints!
 AUGUST 22, 2019 VOL. 29

Celebrities such as Barbra Streisand, Lucille Ball

and Johnny Depp have all had the procedure for
the high price of $350,000 and have described it as
restorative and utterly uplifting. Dr Konigwasser is
aiming to afford this freedom to everyone, starting
with you. National Lifestyle Villages are partnering
with his team to offer all residents of the village
this liberating transformation, for no charge at all
aside from the anaesthesiologist fees. A 60 minute
consultation with the Dr himself is also included,
where patients are given a full rundown of the
procedure in detail as well as the opportunity to
ask any questions. Prior to this there will be a
forum held on 12/10/19 at 4pm in the dining room,
PHOTO BY MARTIN R. SMITH where residents can discuss Amphibianism with
staff and access the sign up sheet as well. We hope
to see you there!

Common room to be
sectioned into body
storage and hire.

We're anticipating a large amount of residents will be signing up

to this incredible opportunity therefore the board has actioned
the rearrangement of the common room as storage. As you
know, once separated from the essence the body is then
cryogenically stored to be reinvigorated when the individual
sees fit. We have purchased multiple state of the art cryogenic
freezing systems for our residents to be able to store their
physical bodies in the best and safest way possible. Residents
will have access to their physical bodies at all times with a
unique access card, once an individual has finished using their
physical body they can be returned to storage. Whilst the
freedom of Amphibianism is truly divine, some do enjoy a day
here and there in their physical form although entirely
unnecessary. With a forseeable lack of need for the common
room as a communal area, we hope to utilise the space to make
resident happiness and satisfaction our priority as always.

Furthermore, as in America where Amphibianism took off, we will be hosting an annual festival where residents are
able to inhabit their physical form OR choose from our increasingly large selection of bodies for hire. We are in the
process of accumulating bodies of all ethnicities, ages and sizes that are available to hire for free for the annual
festival to walk in the parade. They are also available for special occasions for a small fee. We will have hire body
information available at the forum where residents can also sign up and get in line for the bodies of their choice!