ENG121107

Newlon

Adrian Mancilla

02/02/2020

My Life
Born on a Monday my life began a Taurus sun a rising Libra and a Virgo Moon, basically

meaning I am a stubborn self-absorbed creative person who cares more about himself than the

rest of the world. The stars decided my fate from the day I was born, not only was I so caught up

with myself I was also an only child. This was the cherry on top of the milkshake my life; a

narcissistic life. Only to add that. My mother consistently told me I was a gift from God because

she was barren, she had no biological way to produce life. To the doctors, I was impossible a

medical miracle. My ego has been implanted in me since the day I was born; however, I don’t

see my self as this proclaimed narcissist young gay boy who only cares about the newest I phone

on the market that he hasn’t gotten his fingers on it yet, for without it. What would his 675

Instagram followers think of him? I see a young gay man who has love for others; however, has

been emotionally traumatized that he has major trust issues. I see a young gay man who keeps to

himself because his amygdala has gladly poisoned his self-image with thoughts of disgust. His

conscience constantly judging him and telling him what people think of him. Everything leading

to a defensive young man who tries to have the newest and brightest things to seem amazing.
This young man is great though he was born with a heart. He listens to Indie and raves on the

weekends this boy is free in his setting just not how you would expect it.

Not to mention he has been hurt by boys he does not know what it's like to walk in a

room and be seen as the “it” boy were all desire to be him. People see a self conceded young

man who has a Hydroflask, Raybans, an iPhone X, Gucci slides and more. His materialistic ways

have represented him in a foul manner. People see a comfortable Mexican who’s well off on the

totem pole he has built in his mind. Little do they know he lives in Westwood a burrow of

Denver that is highly populated with marginalized communities of people, or that he lives a

block away from Denver Housing. This look of the “it” boy is fake, just as the love we think we

have. He's intimidated by the high and mighty people of his high school he does not want to

seem as less of if he’s less than others then what value does he have. The voices yell at him to

not only to be this vain Libra but a Stubborn Taurus.

A bull constantly chasing that red flag he so madly wants, so stubborn he knows one day

he will catch that red flag being dangled at him. Little does his string headed min know he will

never reach that red flag because it is not obtainable. My red flag is boys…their toxic, so toxic

they are the oil to my emotion-filled ocean. I'm on a wave up and down, up and down I go never

ending with boys. They constantly dangle a red flag at me but I want the end goal so bad I don’t

see their toxicity. I love them more than myself which is never a good thing its nd an awful way

too eon a relationship complete one-sided. My vain self can not see past their neglect of me and I

come up with continuous excuses why they can only see me when they please. My strobes leaves

me to believe my self and only my self, my mother does not know what she says about the boys I
date. I mean they do love me after all? My distraught boils in me for once again my mother was

right about my newest boy or what I like to call experiment 567 and counting. I believe what I

want to see so badly I disregard everyone else and their opinion.’ My judgmental ways blind me.

That the bold Virgo in me

My critical opinion of others has lead me to live s very confusing life, I speak what's on

my mind when I want and how I want I have no consideration for others emotions. This is where

my pettiness and lover for myself comes from. I get a high off of knowing I am better than

others. I think of my self was a better person than others at times, one of my greatest challenges

is facing laity that no, I am not better than everyone. Maybe I'm the toxic one? I am so self

conflicted these day I am still learning more and more about my self although I know for sure I

am a Taurus sun a rising Libra and a Virgo Moon.