In English, we can use ‘to give’ and ‘to receive’ regardless who is giving and who is

talking. Differently, in Japanese, there are two verbs for expressing ‘to give’: あげ
る (Ageru), くれる (Kureru); while ‘to receive’ is indicated by もら
う (Morau). Here comes the question: What is the difference between them?

Basically, it depends on the point of view as well as the relationship between the

giver, the receiver, and the speaker.
 

In order to fully understand this, it is better for you to understand the concept
of 内 (uchi) and 外(soto) first.

The word 内 (uchi) literally means inside, while 外 (soto) means outside.

内 (uchi) refers to you, your family, your friend, or anyone you are close with.

In contrast, 外 (soto) refers to the others or anyone besides your 内 (uchi).

Verb Verb Verb Verb

Concept
(Basic Form) (Past Form) (Polite Form) (Polite Past Form)
‘I’ → Uchi
あげる あげた あげます あげました ‘I’ → Soto
(ageru) (ageta) (agemasu) (agemashita) Uchi → Soto
Soto → Soto
Uchi → ‘Me’
くれる くれた くれます くれました
Soto → ‘Me’
(kureru) (kureta) (kuremasu) (kuremashita)
Soto → Uchi

もらう もらった もらいます もらいました

Anyone → Anyone
(morau) (moratta) (moraimasu) (moraimashita)
 「
あげる」
あげる (ageru) is used when the giver is the subject of the sentence.

When to use:

 I give to UCHI (g. I give to my friend)

 I give to SOTO (g. I give to the cashier)
 UCHI gives to SOTO (g. My mother gives to the cashier)
 SOTO gives to SOTO (g. Someone gives to the cashier)

Structure: Giver + は/が + Recipient + に + Object + を + あげる

 

Example:

私は友達に花をあげた。

Watashi wa tomodachi ni hana o ageta.

I gave a flower to my friend.

Note: in conversation, we usually leave out the ‘私は’ (watashi wa).

「くれる」
くれる (kureru) is also used when the giver is the subject of the sentence.

When to use:

 UCHI gives me (g. My friend gives to me)

 SOTO gives me (g. The cashier gives to me)
 SOTO gives to UCHI (g. The cashier gives to my mother)

Structure: Giver + は/が + Recipient + に + Object + を + くれる

 

Example:

友達は母に本をくれた。

Tomodachi wa haha ni hon o kureta.

My friend gave a book to my mother.

「もらう」
Luckily, there is only one version of ‘to receive’ in Japanese. We use もらう (morau)
when the verb of the sentence is ‘to receive’. In other words, it is used when the
receiver is the subject of the sentence.

Structure:

Giver + から + Object + を + もらう

Recipient + は/が + Giver + に + Object + を + もらう

 
Examples:

友達から土産をもらった。

Tomodachi kara miyage o moratta.

I received a souvenir from my friend.

For better understanding, let’s use the example from あげる (ageru).

私は友達に花をあげた。

Watashi wa tomodachi ni hana o ageta.

I gave a flower to my friend.

The sentence above has the same meaning as:

友達は私に花をもらった。

Tomodachi wa watashi ni hana o moratta.

My friend received a flower from me.

For the example from くれる (kureru).

友達は母に本をくれた。

Tomodachi wa haha ni hon o kureta.

My friend gave a book to my mother.

The sentence above has the same meaning as:

母は友達に本をもらった。
Haha wa tomodachi ni hon o moratta.

My mother received a book from my friend.

Giver は Receiver に Object を あげます

Giver wa Receiver ni Object wo agemasu

Receiver は Giver に/から Object を もらいます

Receiver wa Giver ni/kara Object wo moraimasu

In the first expression, the focus is put on the Giver as it is the topic. It means the Giver is
giving Object to the Receiver.

Whereas in the second expression, the emphasis is put on the Receiver. The sentence means the
Receiver is receiving Object from the Giver.

For the second expression, you can either use に (ni) or から (kara) before the Object.

Assuming that yesterday was Mr Yamada's birthday and he has received a present from his friend
Mr Tanaka.

 たなかさん は やまださん に ほんを あげました。

tanaka san wa yamada san ni hon wo agemashita

Meaning: Mr Tanaka gave a book to Mr Yamada.

 やまださん は たなかさん に ほんを もらいました。

yamada san wa tanaka san ni hon wo moraimashita

Meaning: Mr Yamada received a book from Mr Tanaka.

 あげます (agemasu) and くれます (kuremasu) Sentences
 The third Japanese verb くれます (kuremasu) has the same meaning of "to give" as あげます
(agemasu). However, you need to take note of some rules to decide which one to use in your
sentence.

 Giver は Receiver に Object を あげます
 Giver wa Receiver ni Object wo agemasu

 Giver は Receiver に Object を くれます
 Giver wa Receiver ni Object wo kuremasu

 In Japanese custom, it is important and is always the first priority to show respect to other
people (third person).

 In that perspective, your family members are considered part of yourself. Therefore when
comparing to third person, your family members have to be in lower priority.

 Secondly, if third person is absent, you have to show respect to your family members, putting
yourself in the lowest priority. This is even true to family members younger than you.

 Based on the above two conditions, when you have to show respect to ONLY the Giver, use くれ
ます (kuremasu). Other than that you have to use the Japanese verb あげます (agemasu).

 In summary, look at the following table to decide which Japanese verb to use...

 Giver Receiver Use
 1. Third Person Third Person あげます
 2. Third Person Me/Family Members くれます
 3. I/Family Members Third Person あげます
 4. Family Members Me くれます
 5. I Family Members あげます
 1.

 たなかさんはやまださんにはなを あげました。
 tanaka san wa yamada san ni hana wo agemashita

 Meaning: Mr Tanaka gave flower to Mr Yamada.

 2.

 たなかさんはいもうとにはなを くれました。
 tanaka san wa imouto ni hana wo kuremashita

 Meaning: Mr Tanaka gave flower to my younger sister.

 3.

 ちちはたなかさんにコーヒーを あげました。
 chichi wa tanaka san ni ko-hi- wo agemashita

 Meaning: My father gave coffee to Mr Tanaka.

 4.

 おとうとはわたしにプレゼントを くれました。
 otouto wa watashi ni purezento wo kuremashita

 Meaning: My younger brother gave present to me.

 5.

 わたしはははにおかねを あげました。
 watashi wa haha ni okane wo agemashita

 Meaning: I gave money to my mother.