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Taming the Beast in Us : Psychological Readiness After COVID-19

by
Datuk Dr Leow Chee Seng

After back to work, I am sure you have a lot of
things to adapt and to learn. Unfortunately, not
everyone in the organisation would move at
the same pave. Some of them remained at the
comfortable zone after the company is attacked
by the Tsunami. Hence, for those responsible
and have self-belonging would trigger your
anger some-how.
Let’s start by really understanding just what
anger is – an emotional state influenced by our
cognitions, behaviour and physiology.
Cognitions refer to anger the emotion, the
response relates to personalising it – like “He
purposely upset me” – and catastrophising with
ultimatums like “I will never promote you”. In
short, anger arises when a person perceives that
core values have been violated.

The starting point to addressing this personal

issue is to learn adaptive responses – or
behavioural responses towards anger. Possible
solutions like problem-solving, assertiveness,
tactical withdrawal and maladaptive responses –
such as social withdrawal, self-harm, verbal and
Anger is not a solution. Anger is just like a wild physical aggression – is commonly identified by
fire that would cause us to act irrationally. Always counsellors during anger management therapy.
remember that anger does not help because
some of them don’t even bother how you show Aetiology
your anger. The anger you have is just hurting
yourselves. The major causes of anger control problems for
any individual are likely to be an interaction of
While there are many ways to address anger both internal and external factors. Hence, it’s
issues, learning to recognise and acknowledge important to look into its aetiology – the discussion
the underlying reasons can go a long towards of causes, origins, evolution and implications of
curtailing your angry responses. this phenomena.

Everyone gets angry at one time or another. Internal factors underlying anger triggers can
Anger is a common emotion experienced by all usually be traced back childhood experiences.
humans as a natural response to a threat or a These include a family history of violence or
challenge – provoking the impulse to protect, aggression, bullying, the experience of physical
defend or attack. and emotional abuse or neglect and even sexual
abuse.
Still, anger can also become problematic and
can be a major symptom of underlying personal
issues which eventually needs to be addressed.
And it needs to be tackled fast if anger is
experienced with such a frequency or intensity
and there’s poor impulse control.

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There are also external factors to be
considered – and these include aggression,
frustration and peer-influenced factors. Equally
important to note are environmental factors like
noise, overcrowding and poor living conditions
– which are usually categorised as influential
external dynamics.
Some people are fortunate enough to learn
healthy anger management skills during their
childhood. As adults, they have access to these
skills, which come naturally.
Those who didn’t learn to develop methods to
use angry feelings effectively have to devise
new behaviours, repeatedly try them – and
with successes, continue to practise them.
Relaxation is the basic tenet of anger
management.
Anger relates to emotion. It is important to
become comfortable with feelings in general and
then with anger specifically. When you feel angry,
you need to assert yourself as the physiological
response is triggered in the autonomic nervous
system by adrenaline. Adrenaline increases the
heart rate, sweating and flushing.
You need to replace misinformation about anger,
identify the uses of anger and replace unclear
labels so, you can clearly identify the difference
between anger and other emotions.
If you have difficulty experiencing the fear and
anxiety that anger defends, or if you tend to
blame outside sources for either your anger or
your fear, you may try to replace the personal
misinformation about anger. For example, should
you be angry with someone for making you work
2 2
late when the response is really because you’re
afraid of going home in the dark?
We have to learn to take responsibility towards
the source of anger, and finally, we should learn
how to face up to our own fears.
Besides, we have to further re-educate
ourselves by seriously dissecting the taboos
which imply “badness.”–and figure out for
ourselves if the uneasy feelings triggered are
based on false beliefs.
Natural advantages
Be aware that every feeling or emotion we
experience is good. Each has a specific purpose
that enhances your ability to cope with life, as
well as to ensure the survival of the human race.
In general, there are six feelings that relate to
emotion. Sadness is associated with feeling
unhappy or being mournful. Loneliness can be
described as feeling rejected or unwanted. Guilt
is always labelled as something to be ashamed
about and linked to needing to be remorseful.
Inadequacy refers to embarrassment and humiliation.
Fear is always related to being nervous,
scared and terrified. Lastly, gladness that is able
to reinforce our good actions can be categorised
as content, relieved, satisfied, happy and joyous.
By identifying the underlying emotions and
feelings, we will then be able to control our
anger responses. Often harsh, punitive, angry
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feelings are continually heightened by inaccurate

judgments which tend to dehumanise the person
at whom they are aimed.

Common self-judgmental statements like “I am

no good” and “I am stupid” will make a person
feel angry towards himself. This is the same
emotional response as you have been angry
with someone.

Understand why you had even come up with the

‘names’ you called that person. These ‘names’
could be actual verbalisation of thoughts where
the judgment is extremely dehumanising. When
you have identified such a tendency in your
behaviour, you have to stop it immediately.
Note that this a process which will take time
to be effective and will require significant
self-discipline to be inculcated successfully. So,
if you have destructive thoughts about yourself
or someone else, seek professional advice now!

Be ready that after COVID-19, not everything

happened would favour you. Regardless how
hard you try, sometimes without “the creator”
willing, nothing would happen. So, you need to
always stay calm and stay cool in all situation
and do not let the fire of anger to burn yourselves.
Feel free to talk, if you need further help at
0175882258

In anger management sessions, I always remind

clients no treatment intervention for anger will
work unless he/she is able to recognise it as a
problem in the first place – and indeed, it is their
problem.

In my opinion, motivational work is often a

prerequisite to successful engagement in anger
control treatments. Clients who deny they have
any problem with anger control, who have no
motivation to change or have very significant
impulse control problems need to be guided
carefully – or their anger will simply make them
dismiss any realisation of their problem.

Once this critical realisation is achieved, they

might benefit from pre-treatment preparation
such as building a therapeutic relationship,
enhancing self-esteem, competency and control
recognition, personal anger awareness and
basic anger and aggression monitoring.
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