America’s Brightest Star

AMBER: You have a small penis. You do. It is below average. What was that, four inches while
hard? And not very thick. If you’re going to be four inches, at least give me a little something to
work with, so I feel something. I may be young, but I have seen seven penises so far… well,
eight now, and you know where you rank? Seventh. John Baker had a smaller penis, but the
only time I was with him he sort of came really quickly while he was semihard, so I’m not really
sure. You could be the smallest. No wonder you put your underwear back on right away. To
hide the evidence. Which was already pretty well hidden. And what’s with the grunting? More
like a squeal. I’m not trying to be rude, but you sounded like my little brother’s guinea pig when
it was hungry and begging for food. What kind of man sounds like that? And you don’t smell
very good. I don’t care if it’s Jordan by Michael Jordan. It stinks. And your balls stink. Maybe I
would have blown you for longer if you smelled a little better. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being
Ryan Gosling and 1 being Jeff Horkins, who is my brother’s idiot friend, I’d give you negative
eight million. You definitely rank eighth out of eight. And I can’t wait to tell my viewers. Good
day, sir.