https://www.getrealphilippines.

com/2016/05/become-respect-filipino-society/

Is it just me, or is there

something iffy with the way respect and politeness have evolved in the Philippines?
Respect and politeness are shown through both speech and actions.

First off, let’s examine respectful and polite speech in the Philippines.

Just to bring everyone up to speed, in Filipino/Tagalog, the so-called “national

language”, the words po/opo (most formal/polite) and ho/oho (a notch below in
formality) are used at the end of sentences or sentence clauses when respectful or
polite speech is required. We also use the plural form of the 2nd person pronoun (you)
– ikaw is 2nd person singular, kayo is 2nd person plural – also as part of respectful or
polite speech. We also have titles and honorifics for members of the family, and other
members of society.

Contrast this with the type of more egalitarian societies in the West. The European
languages I’ve encountered so far differentiate between a formal you and an informal
you. The formal you is used when dealing with people not part of one’s intimate circle,
informal you when with close friends and family. In English, however, there’s just “you”.

Respectful or polite speech is more emphasized and is a more integral part of societies
like the Philippines where social status and its determining factors, such as age,
profession, and rank, play a bigger part in social stratification. A more recent
development, I believe, is the peppering of sentences with “Sir” and “Ma’am”, especially
in the corporate world and service industry.

When I was younger, one po/opo and ho/oho, either at the end of the first clause, or at
the end of the entire sentence was enough. Nowadays, I hear these words, on the
average, after every other word. My Bisaya-speaking friends tell me that such excessive
use of po/opo and ho/oho has crept into their colloquial speech; their language, at its
core, does not use such politeness markers. Furthermore, they perceive excessive use
of it as fake and insincere.

Outgoing president Benigno Simeon “BS” Aquino was a noted example; it formed part
of why his speeches were rather cringe-worthy. Incoming Vice-President Leni Robredo,
as some commentators on social media pointed out, was also doing the same in a
recent speech.

One can’t help but wonder how polite speech here has become what it has. Is it
because Filipinos are, more than ever, afraid to come off as offensive? Is it because
there is an excessive compensation for something else? Is there a hint of submission,
deference, or just plain pandering that is going on when speech is excessively polite? Is
it just me, or has respect been reduced to superficiality here?

There is an inordinate, often crossing into unhealthy, focus on respect in the Philippines,
which finds its way into social interactions, conversations and discussions. Before
people accept what you have to say, they have to accept you as a person first. You
have to “mind your manners”, which really is a euphemism for “know your place”. You
have to have credentials. You have to be associated with the “right people”. You have to
mind your tone, lest you come off as angry. All that is reality, regardless of whether or
not what you’re saying is logically sound or argumentatively valid. Never mind if adding
polite speech markers removes from the impact of what you have to say.

Because I’ve acclimated to Western notions of egalitarianism, I rarely

use po/opo and ho/oho, and rarely do the other things I mentioned above in my speech.
In fact, I’ve been called out for “talking to my partners as if we were feeling close. Which
I think is bullshit.

I’ve worked with more open-minded Filipino and foreigner bosses, who insisted I drop
the “sir” or “ma’am”. It was liberating. I believe respect and politeness is conveyed
through the overall impression, which is both speech and deed.

So now, let’s talk about how Filipinos approach respect through actions.

When reminding Filipinos of simple rules and regulations such as, “no littering”, or “fall
in line”, one will typically get a response of “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”, or “MIND
YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS!”.

For those who drive and bring motor vehicles, Filipino drivers are notorious for
disregarding traffic rules and “trying to get an edge”, especially when they know they
can get away with it.
For a people who are “so proud” of their freedom of speech and democracy, Filipino
society is all too eager to suppress and beat into submission all who harbor viewpoints
and opinions that are any or all of the following: uncomfortable, not popular, or not
agreeable.

Three examples. There are many more readily observable ones in Filipino society, but
even with just these, a common theme emerges: respect is a one-way street. Respect
goes up, but don’t expect it to come back down.

Real and genuine respect in any society is a two-way street. Even in societies like
Japan, where politeness and respect have been taken to an art form, this holds true. To
further illustrate the Japanese example, we define the senpai, who is the more senior
one and looks after the kohai, the junior. The kohai is expected to be respectful and
listen to the senpai, and to generally heed his/her teachings/advice and keep from
embarrassing him/her. The duty of the senpai is to look after his/her juniors, to give the
right advice/lesson, and to prepare them properly for their own comings-of-age.
Although it may seem like juniors cannot argue with their seniors, the seniors are
expected to be self-accountable, to self-correct if they have committed errors, and not to
abuse their authority. Of course there are exceptions to this; there will always be.

When we look at our local example, we find that respect goes all the way up across
societal levels, but is generally treated as optional going back down. As children,
Filipinos are expected to do all the biddings of their parents without question. In the
worst cases, they are treated as property; talking back and asking questions that they
don’t want to answer will result in the children being called “ungrateful” or “smart-
alecky”. Children are given “subtle” hints to stifle their curiosity, or will be rewarded with
smart-alecky pilosopo answers like “galing sa pwet” (came from the ass). And when
these children grow up, you can’t blame them for doing it to their own juniors.

What has become of respect in Filipino society?

Superficiality – respect is shown through excessive use of speech markers, but the
actions don’t necessarily match the speech.

Lack of mutuality – what goes up never comes down.

Inequality – Filipino society puts unnecessary emphasis on ranks, and its inhabitants
are always looking for that “edge” that they can use over others.

Respect is regarded as an entitlement dependent on rank.

True respect, however, is earned and reciprocated. It is based on simple consideration

for your fellow man, regardless of status. It is vital for the well-being and development of
any society.
Good luck trying to find that here in the Philippines.

Filipino Culture of Respect

by Panda B on September 10, 2011 in Philippine Culture

The Filipinos know what they value, what they treasure, and
what they are willing to fight for. The Philippines is an island-country with a long history
of colonization along with abuse and violence from its colonizers. Shaken, devastated,
and tore into bits and pieces, the Filipino heart became resilient, ready to face the odds
and to start all over again. After all, Filipinos know what they value, what they treasure,
and what they are willing to fight for.
The Filipino values his or her race, treasures his or her loved-ones, and fights for its
freedom and values embedded in every fiber of his or her being. Some of the people
who studied the Filipino culture from the pre-colonial era to the 21st century Philippines
say that there is a lost trait of the Filipinos: respect.
The Filipinos are known as a people of pride prior the colonization era. A lot of research
has revealed the Filipino glory during these moments. However, this pride fades away in
the near four hundred years of colonization under different colonizers. To some, this
pride includes the Filipino culture of respect. Respect is what Filipinos offered the world
especially before colonialism.
Near a century after colonization, the Filipinos can attest that the culture of respect is
still present. Despite the influence of the media and other societies regarding respect as
very relative, respect is still treasured this side of the world. It is evident in the way
children are raised and in the way the elders pass on the culture of respect to the next
generation. As long as there are Filipinos who are willing to pass on this gem of a
culture, the culture of respect shall thrive.
What makes a Filipino respectful? What does he or she do and show? Here are some
of the factors that one can see in a Filipino culture of respect:
Kissing the hands of someone older. It is unexplained but the Filipinos call this as
“Bless”. It is an act wherein the younger one would take the hand of the older one and
put it on his or her forehead with the head slightly bending down. A father comes into
the front door and the children automatically would get his hand and would do the
“Bless”. In a bigger setting, children and even adults rush to kiss the hands of everyone
relatively older than his’ or hers age or by blood relations. Someone who does not do
the “bless” is considered very disrespectful to the maximum level by everyone who is
older than him or her. It is an unwritten law that it is imperative for the younger individual
to kiss the hand of all the other older ones. Not doing it means breaking the culture.

Using “respect” words. This factor is very distinct to the Philippines. Everyone since they
started talking are taught by their parents to say the respect words when talking with
someone older. “Po,” “Opo,” and “Ho” are placed in between words when speaking to
someone older. As early as two years old, these words are introduced to children and
made sure that is taught to avoid people telling one that his or her child is disrespectful.
There is no exact translation of those words in the English language.
Parent and child relations. Discipline (physical, cultural, and psychological) is a very big
component in reinforcing the teaching of respect. In the Philippines, a child is very much
taught to be respectful especially to his or her parents. There is also a distinct culture in
the Philippines wherein a child is not allowed to join the conversation of adults
especially the older people. This is considered disrespectful as a child should not butt-in
any adult conversations. A Filipino child is also well-trained when it comes to respecting
his or her parents. A parent is always treated as the number one source of guidance for
decision making and all aspect of a child’s life. In fact, it is customary in the Philippines
to always take one’s parents into consideration even if the child is already old, self-
sufficient and independent.
Subordinate/ Superior relations. Taken from the context of parent and child relations,
subordinates always would have a very high regard for their superiors. The Filipino’s
culture of respect reaches out to even the professionalism aspect of the work place.
Very seldom could one see a subordinate going out of the office after work to have a
drink or two. For a lot of Filipinos, they value the strict attitude of a pure and
professional working relationship. Even if the subordinate initiates a relationship outside
of work, a Filipino would always feel the uncomfortable feeling that it would entail. There
are also stories of a Filipino that goes to work abroad and always being reprimanded for
the usage of “Ma’am” and “Sir”. In some societies like the Western society, first name
calling is the norm thus no need for the usage of the more formal address like the
“Ma’am” and the “Sir”. To the Filipino, however, the usage of the term is imperative
because of his or her subordinate role.
Some people from other culture who would watch a Filipino and showing the respect he
or she learned would say that sometimes, the respect is already out of place and
unnecessary. Some Filipinos call it respect but in reality, it is already an inferiority
complex whether personal or racial.
However, as the Filipinos have learned along its journey as a nation, the pride of the
people lies in the values that can never be replicated around the world. Like the kissing
of the hand, addition of the respect words, respect for parents even in the adulthood,
and the respect for superiors, these are truly apart Filipino of culture. And in the dawn of
migration of Filipinos going abroad, respect would take them a long, long, way in their
quest of proving that they can offer something good to contribute both as a person and
as a race.

Respectful Ways to Say 'Yes' and 'No'

Some of the most common words for showing respect in a Filipino household
are po and opo. Both basically mean "yes" in a respectful way, rather than just
saying oo, or yes normally.
For a better understanding of how to use po and opo and to learn the difference
between the two, look at the examples below.
Po is used to show respect when speaking or called by someone older or a person with
authority. Also use po when saying salamat, or "thank you". If you are called by
someone older than you (such as your mom, dad, uncle, auntie, or an elderly neighbor),
you should answer po.
 Example: If an elderly person calls"Jasmin! Jasmin!", a Filipino child would
answer "Po?" which is a polite way of saying "Yes?" or "Bakit po?" which
means "Why?" (politely).
 Po is used when answering basic questions such as why, when, who, which and what,
or when answering a yes or no question from someone older. Ex. "Jasmin, have you seen
your brother?" Saying "Hindi" means "No." To answer politely, they would say po is "Hindi
po." Adding po when answering yes or no portrays respect.
Opo is used to answer questions that has something to do with actions.
1. "Have you eaten? It's already lunch time." Answering with "Oo" means "Yes," but
answering "Opo" would be the polite way.
https://owlcation.com/humanities/Filipino-Culture-Showing-Respect-To-Elders

Generally, Filipinos are title-conscious. Note for example the use of titles before the names of
professionals such as Dr. (doctor), Atty. (attorney, lawyer), Engr. (engineer), Arch. (architect), Prof.
(professor). They also tend to say "sir" or "ma’am" to show their respect, not just to their superiors
but to older people as well, until told otherwise. Colleagues are often addressed by the first name.

Mariano Milbert wrote: “Respect for elders is very strong in the Philippines. From youth, Filipinos are
taught to respect those who are older than them. Not only have the elders given birth and raised
many, but in their age, they have grown wiser, more experienced, and have, by tradition earned the
respect of younger generations. Several symbolic ways in which respect is given to elders is in the
use of language by calling older Filipinos "Po" and older siblings, cousins, and family friends "Kuya"
and "Atee". Perhaps the most fascinating and ritualistic custom of showing respect to elders is the
greeting or salutation of Mano. Mano [Spanish for hand] evolved from the traditions of respect for
ones elders which comes from Asian cultures coupled with the respect for the clergy during the
Spanish occupation of the Philippines. [Source:
http://www2.puc.edu/Faculty/Milbert_Mariano/MANO/origins.html *~*]

http://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Philippines/sub5_6c/entry-3869.html

Lowering the head while arms are extended downwards

When you’re about to pass in between two people talking, you don’t need to
say ‘excuse me’ or ‘pardon me’. Doing so will only interrupt their conversation.
Simply lower your head and extend your arm downwards before going in
between them. Without saying anything, this gesture instantly indicates
politeness and respect for the two people conversing.

Pagmamano (Bless)

In the Philippines, showing respect for one’s elders is a tradition that has been
preserved for generations. The ‘honouring-gesture’ called pagmamano
involves a younger person asking for an elder’s hand and gently touching their
own forehead with it while bowing. The practice is common whenever
someone visits relatives or meets their godparents.

https://theculturetrip.com/asia/philippines/articles/your-guide-to-filipino-gestures/

The Filipinos respect the women very highly. The Women has a high place in the
family she is the Queen of the home. She is luckier than the women in other Asian
countries. Men offer women seat in buses and in public places. They open doors for
them and help them get on and off vehicles.

https://www.livinginthephilippines.com/culture-and-people/philippine-culture/1333-
filipino-customs