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Abstract
Compassionate love has been identified as one of the major types of love experienced in
relationships (Berscheid, 2010), but one that has been overshadowed by the study of
romantic love. In this article, we review research on compassionate love, a relative
newcomer to the close relationships field, and present findings that more fully flesh-out
the nature of the experience of this kind of love. We begin by discussing conceptions and
measurement of compassionate love. We then present a study on the relation between
compassionate love and love styles, with a focus on distinguishing between compassio-
nate love and the agape (altruistic) love style. The literature on individual differences in
compassionate love is discussed next. The spotlight then shifts to research on the link
between compassionate love and prosocial relationship behaviors, relationship quality,
and relationship stability. Differences between compassionate love given versus received
also are highlighted. We end with a discussion of what compassionate love ‘‘looks like’’ in
the context of a romantic relationship and recommend directions for future research.
Keywords
Agape love, altruistic love, compassionate love, love
1
University of Winnipeg, Canada
2
Carleton University, Canada
3
Illinois State University, USA
Corresponding author:
Beverley Fehr, University of Winnipeg, 515 Portage Ave., Winnipeg, Manitoba R3B 2E9, Canada.
Email: bfehr@uwinnipeg.ca
576 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 31(5)
Love has been identified by relationship scientists from multiple disciplines as a major
force in the development of romantic relationships (Surra, Gray, Boettcher, Cottle, &
West, 2006). The delineation of different categories or types of love, and how these types
predict satisfaction and stability of relationships, has been a focus of theory and research
over the past few decades (for reviews, see Aron, Fisher, & Strong, 2006; Berscheid,
2010; Fehr, 2013, in press; Felmlee & Sprecher, 2006). Romantic/passionate love has
received the lion’s share of the research attention, sometimes coupled with companio-
nate love (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993; Sprecher & Regan, 1998). In a recent treatise on
love, Berscheid (2010) argued that the focus on romantic love has obscured the fact that
people experience a variety of other kinds of love in relationships, including compas-
sionate love. She articulated a quadrumvirate model in which compassionate love is one
of four fundamental kinds of love that romantic partners can experience for one another
(along with romantic/passionate love, companionate love, and attachment love). Further,
she claimed that compassionate love plays an important role in predicting relationship
satisfaction and stability.
Despite Berscheid’s (2010) assertion that compassionate love can be experienced for
a romantic partner, and, in fact, has important relationship implications, so far research
on this kind of love has focused primarily on nonromantic contexts (e.g., family and
friends, strangers, and even all of humanity; see Fehr, Sprecher, & Underwood, 2009, for
a review). Fortunately, in the last few years, close relationship scholars have begun to
turn their attention to compassionate love in romantic (dating and marital) relationships.
The purpose of this article is to review what is known so far and, where relevant, to
present some new findings from a study that we conducted in order to sketch a portrait of
what compassionate love ‘‘looks like’’ in the context of a romantic relationship. With
such a sketch in place, future research can add detail, texture, and color. The final
masterpiece may look quite different from the early sketches, but, as in the world of art, it
is unlikely that a masterpiece will be created without a process of sketching, evaluating,
erasing, and sketching some more.
We begin by addressing the basic question: What is compassionate love? Both
experts’ and lay people’s conceptions are discussed. Next, we turn to the issue of
measurement and describe the scales that are used to assess compassionate love. We
then address the issue of whether compassionate love can be differentiated from the
agape love style and present findings from a study that we conducted on the relation
between love styles and compassionate love. Next, we raise the question: Who is most
likely to experience compassionate love in a romantic relationship? We answer this
question by reviewing research on individual differences in the propensity to expe-
rience compassionate love, including gender and personality differences. The spotlight
then shifts to the dynamics of relationships in which partners love one another
compassionately. In this part of the article, we review research on the link between
compassionate love and prosocial relationship behaviors. Then we focus on the
‘‘outcomes’’ of compassionate love and present research on the relation between
compassionate love and various indices of relationship quality and relationship sta-
bility. This is followed by a section on whether it is better to give or receive com-
passionate love in a romantic relationship. (For each of these topics, we review
existing literature and weave in the findings from the study that we conducted where
Fehr et al. 577
applicable.) We end with some general conclusions about the current state of the
literature on compassionate love and suggest directions for future research.
For example, she suggests that an early secure and nurturing environment is more likely
to lead to compassionate love and that the religious socialization of an individual will
affect the likelihood of being compassionate. The next component of the model is more
proximal to the expression of compassionate love, namely motive and discernment. For
an individual to express compassionate love (the final outcome in the model), his or her
motives must be centered on the good of the other. Motivations that are inappropriate or
focused on self-gain will impede the expression of compassionate love.
Underwood’s conceptualization of compassionate love inspired other social scientists
to formulate definitions and models of this kind of love (see Shacham-Dupont, 2003, for
a review). For example, Sprecher and Fehr (2005) offered the following definition:
Compassionate love is an attitude toward the other(s), either close others or strangers or all
of humanity; containing feelings, cognitions, and behaviors that are focused on caring, con-
cern, tenderness, and an orientation toward supporting, helping, and understanding the oth-
er(s), particularly when the other(s) is (are) perceived to be suffering or in need. (p. 630)
impetus for this kind of love is a threatening situation. The behaviors that are associated
with romantic love are acts that encourage a person to seek out sexual relations with
another. Shared, enjoyable activities are among the behaviors associated with compa-
nionate love. Proximity-seeking behaviors are the hallmark of attachment love. Finally,
in terms of temporal course, Berscheid maintains that romantic love declines over time.
She suggests that companionate love may develop early in a relationship but fluctuates
with changes in the partners and life circumstances. Attachment love is seen as taking a
‘‘slow and steady’’ developmental course.
Can experts’ models of compassionate love be integrated?. At this early stage, it is difficult to
fully integrate these different conceptions and models of compassionate love. However,
as a starting point, we highlight some of the differences between them. One major
difference is in the breadth of the model. Underwood’s conceptualization of compas-
sionate love is the most extensive in that she identifies and elaborates on a number of
defining characteristics of compassionate love, as discussed earlier. She also articulates a
model in which she identifies a wide range of distal (e.g., cultural, social, and personal)
factors that contribute to compassionate love. She also includes more proximal factors
such as motivation and discernment and identifies barriers to the full expression of
compassionate love. Berscheid also specifies distal (i.e., evolutionary) and proximal
(i.e., perception that other is in distress) causes of compassionate love, although she
focuses on a narrower range of causes than does Underwood. Neff and Karney’s model
does not address the causal origins of compassionate love. Both Underwood and
Berscheid delineate behaviors associated with compassionate love (e.g., social support
and sacrifice), although in Berscheid’s model, the behaviors are limited to those that
alleviate distress (Underwood’s model also includes the promotion of flourishing). In
Neff and Karney’s program of research, behaviors such as social support are outcome
variables that are predicted by compassionate love.
The models also differ in terms of the range of targets. Underwood’s model is
intended to apply to compassionate love as experienced toward close others and nonclose
others. (Similarly, Sprecher and Fehr’s, 2005, definition applies to close others, a spe-
cific close other, strangers, and even all of humanity.) Berscheid and Neff and Karney
focus on compassionate love as experienced toward a romantic partner.
As touched on earlier, these models also differ in terms of whether compassionate
love is defined as a response to another’s suffering or distress or whether the definition
also includes actions that are taken to promote the flourishing and well-being of the
other. Underwood emphasizes both. Berscheid (and many other scholars; see Shacham-
Dupont, 2003) regards compassionate love as a response to distress. (Neff and Karney’s
580 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 31(5)
One of the purposes of the empirical research presented in this article was to dif-
ferentiate compassionate love from the agape love style. We expected that these two
constructs would be substantially related, given that both emphasize giving of oneself for
another, but that they would not be identical. The agape love style is conceptualized as an
orientation to love that involves extreme sacrifice, including suffering, for the sake of
one’s romantic partner. Compassionate love also involves sacrifice and selflessness,
although perhaps not to the same extreme degree. It is also seen (and measured) as a
broader concept that includes empathy, tenderness, caring, and concern for another.
Another distinction is that the agape love style is focused on romantic relationships
whereas compassionate love is conceived of as a kind of love that can be experienced for
a variety of targets, including strangers or even all of humanity, close others (e.g., friends
and family), as well as a romantic partner.
Method
Introductory psychology students from the Subject Pool at the University of Winnipeg
(N ¼ 81) and students recruited through classes at Illinois State University (N ¼ 34)
participated, yielding a total sample size of N ¼ 115 (59 women and 54 men indicated their
gender). Participants ranged in age from 18 to 35 years (M ¼ 20.40 years). A requirement
for participation was involvement in a romantic relationship. In terms of relationship
status, 16.5% of participants were casually dating, 44.3% were seriously dating, 3.5% were
engaged, 24.3% were cohabiting, and 2.6% were married (8.7% reported ‘‘other’’). Mean
584 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 31(5)
Table 1. Relation between love styles and relational outcomes of compassionate love: Descriptive
statistics.
Compassionate love given 5.86 (.85) 5.74 (1.04) 5.98 (.64) 1.51 .13
Compassionate love received 6.21 (1.05) 6.15 (1.12) 6.27 (1.01) .60 .55
Love styles
Agape (selfless) 3.25 (.79) 3.44 (.79) 3.10 (.77) 2.30 .02
Eros (romantic) 4.01 (.73) 3.91 (.67) 4.11 (.78) 1.47 .15
Storge (friendship) 3.20 (1.02) 3.04 (.98) 3.35 (1.04) 1.63 .11
Pragma (practical) 2.37 (.94) 2.20 (.91) 2.50 (.96) 1.74 .09
Mania (possessive) 3.06 (.90) 2.94 (.94) 3.17 (.85) 1.34 .18
Ludus (game playing) 2.27 (.88) 2.46 (.85) 2.09 (.89) 2.26 .03
Relationship outcomes
Satisfaction 3.92 (.77) 3.87 (.70) 3.98 (.83) .77 .44
Commitment 5.58 (1.39) 5.35 (1.53) 5.83 (1.20) 1.85 .07
Note. Compassionate love ratings (given and received) were made on a scale where 7 ¼ high levels of compas-
sionate love; love styles were rated on a scale where 5 ¼ very characteristic of me; relational satisfaction ratings
were made on a scale where 5 ¼ very satisfied; commitment ratings were made on a scale 7 ¼ very committed.
relationship duration was 20.46 months (range ¼ .5–84 months). The majority of parti-
cipants were White (77%), followed by Black (7%), Asian (7%), and other (9%). Most
participants were middle class (51.3%), followed by upper middle class (28.7%), working
class (7.8%), lower middle class (7.8%), and upper class (2.6%).
We administered a questionnaire package that included Sprecher and Fehr’s (2005)
21-item CLS (rated on a scale where 1 ¼ not at all true and 7 ¼ very true) completed
with respect to one’s romantic partner (a ¼ .95 in this sample). Participants also were
asked to report on compassionate love received from their partner (‘‘I feel I receive love
and compassion from ____’’) rated on scale where 7 ¼ very true. Love styles were
assessed using the short form of the Love Attitudes Scale (Hendrick et al., 1998). Items
were rated on a scale where 1 ¼ strongly disagree and 5 ¼ strongly agree. Cronbach as
were .77 for agape, .65 for eros, .76 for storge, .69 for mania, .73 for pragma, and .64 for
ludus. We also assessed relationship satisfaction and commitment. The former was mea-
sured with the Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick, 1988). Items were rated on a
5-point scale (a ¼ .82). Commitment was assessed with Rusbult’s 7-item scale (Rusbult,
Martz, & Agnew, 1998). Response options ranged from 1 ¼ not at all to 7 ¼ very much;
a ¼ .91. (We included additional measures that are not relevant here and therefore are
not discussed further.)
Note. Fisher r to z transformation was used to calculate the difference in the women’s and men’s correlations.
y
p < .10; *p < .05; **p < .001.
with past research, women’s and men’s ratings of compassionate love for their romantic
partner did not differ significantly. Ratings of the agape love style scale fell above the mid-
point of the scale (M ¼ 3.25 on a 5-point scale), surpassed only by ratings of the eros love
style. Men scored significantly higher on this scale than did women.1
As predicted, the agape love style was strongly associated with experiencing com-
passionate love for one’s partner, as shown in Table 2. We had not expected that the
strength of this association would vary by gender. However, the correlation between agape
and compassionate love was significantly stronger for men than for women. (This was the
only love style for which correlations with compassionate love differed by gender; see
Table 2.) The eros love style also was strongly associated with compassionate love for a
romantic partner, for both women and men. (A moderate correlation had been predicted.)
Moderate associations were expected between storge and compassionate love. For men, a
moderate correlation was found; for women the correlation was not significant. The mania
love style was unrelated to compassionate love for both women and men, as was the
pragma love style (although the negative correlation for men reached statistical sig-
nificance). As hypothesized, the manipulative ludus love style was negatively associated
with compassionate love for one’s romantic partner and this held for both women and men
(although the correlation was only marginally significant for men).
In short, our key prediction, namely that the agape love style would be strongly
associated with compassionate love was supported. However, the magnitude of the
association was not so high as to suggest that these were redundant constructs. In order
to further differentiate these concepts, we performed additional analyses. First, we
conducted a multiple regression analysis in which we entered the six love styles as
predictors and compassionate love as the criterion variable. As shown in Table 3,
586 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 31(5)
b t p
Table 4. Love styles and compassionate love as simultaneous predictors of satisfaction and
commitment.
Satisfaction Commitment
b t p b t p
compassionate love for one’s partner was predicted by the agape love style. However, it
also was predicted by the eros and storge love styles. The fact that three love styles were
significant predictors of compassionate love—not just agape—lends further support to
the idea that compassionate love is not equal to the agape love style.
Next we examined how compassionate love fared when pitted against the agape love
style in predicting two key relationship outcome variables, namely satisfaction and
commitment. We first conducted a regression analysis in which the agape love style and
compassionate love were entered as predictors with satisfaction as the criterion variable.
Compassionate love was a significant predictor of satisfaction (b ¼ .59, p < .001),
whereas the agape love style was not (b ¼ .01, p ¼ .88). Similar results were obtained
when the analysis was conducted with commitment as the outcome variable (compas-
sionate love: b ¼ .70, p < .001; agape love style: b ¼ .03, p ¼ .74). The fact that
compassionate love made a unique contribution to the prediction of these relational
outcomes beyond its association with the agape love style is compelling evidence for the
distinctness of compassionate love.
Finally, we conducted regression analyses in which we included all six love styles and
compassionate love as predictors of relational outcomes. As shown in Table 4, once
again, compassionate love was a significant predictor of relationship satisfaction. In this
analysis, the eros love style also predicted satisfaction, but the agape love style did not.
When the analysis was conducted with commitment as the outcome variable,
Fehr et al. 587
compassionate love again was a significant predictor; the agape love style was not (see
Table 4). However, as shown in the table, three other love styles predicted commitment,
namely eros and mania (positively) and ludus (negatively).
In summary, people’s approach to love, or their love ‘‘style’’, has implications for how
compassionately they love their romantic partner. Those whose orientation to love is self-
sacrificing and agapic are likely to report high levels of compassionate love for their part-
ner. (This is especially true for men.) Importantly, the relation between the agape love style
and compassionate love is not so strong as to suggest that these are redundant constructs.
Those who take a romantic, passionate approach to love also report high levels of compas-
sionate love for their partner as do people who see love in friendship-based terms (although
this association was not so strong as that found for eros and agape). Although we had pre-
dicted that the highest correlations would be found with the agape love style scale, it is not
surprising that measures of eros and storge also were significantly associated with compas-
sionate love. Berscheid (2010) observed that different kinds of love are likely to co-occur
in relationships. Indeed, measures of the four kinds of love specified in her model tend to
be highly intercorrelated (Fehr & Harasymchuk, 2012; Fehr, Harasymchuk, & Gouriluk,
2010). We further tested the distinctiveness of compassionate love and the agape love style
conducted regression analyses in which relationship satisfaction and commitment were the
criterion variables. Regardless of whether analyses were conducted with only agape and
compassionate love in the equation or all six love styles, compassionate love consistently
emerged as a significant predictor whereas the agape love style was nonsignificant. Thus, it
would appear that people’s relational happiness and their intention to remain in a relation-
ship are both strongly linked to how much compassionate love they experience for their
partner. Whether people subscribe to a selfless, sacrificial orientation to romantic love
(i.e., endorse the agape love style) has less bearing on relational outcomes once compas-
sionate love accounted for.
Gender
Given that women tend to be the nurturers (e.g., Taylor, 2006), one might expect that
women would score higher on measures of compassionate love than men. Consistent
with this expectation, when the CLS is administered with respect to close others (family
and friends) or strangers/humanity, women generally score higher than men (Sprecher &
Fehr, 2005; see Fehr & Sprecher, 2013, for a review). However, gender differences are
not found when the scale is completed with respect to one’s romantic partner, as has
been found with dating samples (Fehr et al., 2010) and married samples (Fehr &
Harasymchuk, 2013). This was also the case in our present study (see Table 1).
588 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 31(5)
Personality
In general, scores on love scales are weakly correlated, if at all, with scores on per-
sonality scales (see Fehr, 2013, in press, for reviews). Fehr and Broughton (2001)
suggested that stronger links between measures of love and personality might be found if
researchers selected traits that are high in relevance to relationships. Toward that end,
Sprecher and Fehr (2011) correlated scores on the CLS with global and relationship-
specific attachment anxiety and avoidance scales given that attachment style is a highly
relationship-relevant individual difference variable. Compassionate love for one’s
romantic partner was negatively correlated with both global and relationship-specific
avoidance. Similar findings were obtained by Fehr and Harasymchuk (2013).2
Social support
Scores on scales that assess the provision of social support (e.g., practical support and
emotional support) are strongly correlated (in the .50s) with scores on the CLS com-
pleted with respect to close others in general (Sprecher & Fehr, 2005; Study 2) and a
specific close other (romantic partner or a close friend; Sprecher & Fehr, 2005; Study 3).
The same holds true in studies that have focused exclusively on romantic relationships.
For example, Fehr et al. (2010) obtained a correlation of r ¼ .52 between scores on the
CLS and a measure of social support provided to one’s dating partner. Fehr and Har-
asymchuk (2013) reported a similar correlation (r ¼ .56) between CLS scores and social
support received from one’s dating partner.
In line with these findings, Neff and Karney (2005, 2009) found that a wife’s com-
passionate love for her husband (operationalized as a positive global evaluation along
with an accurate understanding of his specific strengths and weaknesses) was associated
with the provision of social support to him during an interaction in the laboratory.
However, a husband’s level of compassionate love was unrelated to provision of support
to his wife.
Caregiving
Compassionate love is associated with caregiving. Fehr et al. (2010) administered the
CLS and Kunce and Shaver’s (1994) measure of caregiving to participants in dating
relationships. Correlations between compassionate love and the caregiving subscales
were .37 for cooperation, .50 for sensitivity, .64 for proximity, and .18 for compulsive
caregiving.
Fehr et al. 589
Responsiveness
People who love their partners compassionately would be expected to be respond to their
partner’s needs with behaviors that convey understanding and caring (e.g., Berscheid,
2006, 2010; Clark & Monin, 2006; Laurenceau, Rivera, Schaffer, & Pietromonaco,
2004). Indeed, Reis (2010) found that scores on the CLS were strongly correlated with
his measure of perceived partner responsiveness in a marital sample (r ¼ .63). Those
who love their partner compassionately also perceive that their partner is responsive to
them (r ¼ .56; Fehr et al., 2010).
Sacrifice
It would be expected that people who love their partner compassionately would be more
willing to make sacrifices for him or her than those who love their partner less com-
passionately. In empirical investigations, compassionate love is strongly associated with
making sacrifices for a dating partner (r ¼ .50, Fehr et al., 2010; r ¼ .51, Fehr &
Harasymchuk, 2013).
Thus, there is mounting evidence that people who are high in compassionate love
report engaging in wide range of prosocial behaviors. Interestingly, recent research
has shown that people who are high in communal strength (i.e., who are motivated
to respond to a partner’s needs without the expectation of reciprocity) are more
likely to experience positive emotions when making sacrifices for their partner and
to experience enhanced relationship satisfaction on those days when sacrifices are
made (Kogan et al., 2010). We suspect that similar results would be found for
people who are high in compassionate love. We also would conjecture that the
relational benefits documented by Kogan et al. would extend more broadly to the
other prosocial behaviors that are associated with compassionate love, such as social
support, caregiving, and responsiveness.
Closeness
In studies on the link between compassionate love and closeness, the latter variable has
been assessed with the Inclusion of Other in the Self Scale (Aron, Aron, & Smollan,
1992). Correlations between scores on the CLS and this measure of closeness are
moderate to strong among samples of newlyweds (r ¼ .49; Reis, 2010) and people in
longer term marriages (r ¼ .57; Fehr & Harasymchuk, 2013).
Satisfaction
In our earlier analysis of the relative contribution of compassionate love versus the agape
love style scale in predicting satisfaction, compassionate love emerged as a stronger
predictor. When we examined the simple correlations between scores on the CLS and
scores on the Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick, 1988), the coefficients were
high for both women and men (see Table 2). High correlations between scores on the
CLS and measures of satisfaction also have been found in our past studies (r ¼ .52 in a
dating sample; Fehr et al., 2010; r ¼ .67 in a married sample; Fehr & Harasymchuk,
2013). Similarly, strong associations between compassionate love and satisfaction have
been found in a program of research examining links between daily acts of compas-
sionate love and satisfaction in a sample of newlyweds (Reis, Maniaci, & Rogge, in
press). Thus, regardless of whether compassionate love is assessed in terms of global
feelings of compassionate love or in terms of everyday acts of compassion, the higher the
scores, the stronger the relation with satisfaction.
Commitment
To our knowledge, the association between compassionate love and commitment has not
been explored empirically. Therefore, in the present investigation, we administered
Rusbult et al.’s (1998) commitment scale. We found a very strong correlation between
compassionate love for one’s dating partner and commitment for both women and men
(see Table 2).
Relationship termination
In Neff and Karney’s (2005, 2009) longitudinal program of research on compassionate
love in newlywed couples, it was found that the wives’ level of compassionate love was a
(negative) predictor of the likelihood of divorce after 4 years of marriage. The husbands’
level of compassionate love did not predict relationship outcomes.
nonclose other. In both studies, the experience of compassionate love for another person
was associated with a host of (self-reported) positive outcomes including feeling good,
increased self-esteem, increased closeness to the other, and heightened feelings of spiri-
tuality. The third study in this series was a replication of Study 2, with the addition of a
condition in which participants were asked to report on an experience of receiving com-
passionate love from a close or nonclose other. Both giving and receiving compassionate
love were perceived as beneficial, resulting in feeling good, increased self-esteem, and the
like. However, mean ratings were significantly higher in the received than given condition
for both close and nonclose others.
In our present study, we examined the effects of giving versus receiving compas-
sionate love on relational outcomes. Equity and exchange theories would lead to the
prediction that those who report receiving compassionate love from their partner would
be more satisfied in their relationship and more committed to it than those who extend
compassionate love to their partner (assuming that the partner on the receiving end was
not overbenefited). On the other hand, in our past studies (e.g., Sprecher & Fehr, 2006),
we found that people reported more benefits to the self when they gave, rather than
received, compassionate love. It seemed possible that this would generalize to relational
outcomes as well, such that they also would report more positive relational benefits from
giving than from receiving compassionate love. To test the effects of giving versus
receiving, we first compared the mean levels of compassionate love given and received.
(Compassionate love received from the partner was assessed using a 1-item, face-valid
question in which participants rated the extent to which they received love and compas-
sion from their partner.) As shown in Table 1, participants reported receiving more com-
passionate love than they reported giving to their romantic partner. This difference was
statistically significant, t(113) ¼ 4.11, p < .001.
Next we turned to relational outcomes. In our earlier analyses, we found that
extending compassionate love to one’s partner (i.e., compassionate love given) was
strongly associated with satisfaction and commitment (see Table 2). When the corre-
lations were computed for compassionate love received from the partner, once again,
strong associations were found, as shown in the bottom of Table 2. We therefore con-
ducted regression analyses to examine which is a stronger predictor of relationship
outcomes—compassionate love given or compassionate love received. For satisfaction,
compassionate love received was a stronger predictor than compassionate love given (b
¼ .44, p ¼ <.001 for received; b ¼ .35, p < .001 for given). However, for commitment,
compassionate love given was a stronger predictor than compassionate love received (b
¼ .61, p < .001 for given; b ¼ .19, p ¼ .02 for received).
In summary, in our past research, there was evidence that people viewed giving and
receiving compassionate love in positive terms. When these experiences differed, it was
in the direction of reporting more positive outcomes for the self when extending com-
passionate love to another. In the present study, we found that both giving and receiving
compassionate love also were strongly linked with relational outcomes. We had
expected that giving this kind of love would be a stronger predictor of relationship
satisfaction and commitment than receiving it. This was the case for commitment but not
for satisfaction (where the opposite was found). Giving compassionate love can be
construed an investment in a relationship, which may account for why it was a stronger
Fehr et al. 593
predictor of commitment than was receiving compassionate love. The fact that satis-
faction was better predicted by receiving than giving compassionate love is not sur-
prising from an equity or exchange point of view but does not line up with our previous
findings that people report more benefits to the self when giving rather than receiving
compassionate love. Before firm conclusions can be drawn, it will be important to
replicate these findings using multi-item measures of both constructs (in the present
study, compassionate love given was assessed with a multiitem measure, whereas
compassionate love received was assessed with a single item).
General discussion
Although the agape love style has received research attention since the mid-1980s,
empirical work on compassionate love is much more recent. Despite its paucity, the
research that exists makes important inroads into previously unexplored terrain. It is now
possible to get a sense of the kind of person who is likely to extend compassionate love to
a romantic partner. Importantly, it is becoming clear that compassionate love plays an
important role in the quality and stability of relationships. Thus, there is reason to be
optimistic that empirical work on this kind of love will continue to flourish.
is simply a new name for an agapic approach to love. As discussed earlier, the agape love
style originally was conceived as one of six different approaches to love and relation-
ships. Scale items are worded in terms of feelings and behaviors toward a romantic part-
ner. Some of the items (e.g., ‘‘I would endure all things for the sake of my partner’’)
probably would not be applicable to other kinds of relationships (e.g., friendships) or
to strangers. Compassionate love is conceptualized as a multifaceted kind of love and,
in that sense, refers to a particular kind of relational experience. CLS items require
respondents to report on the extent to which they experience caring, concern, tenderness,
and empathy for another person or persons. Thus, one construct, the agape love style,
captures a selfless, sacrificial orientation to romantic relationships; the other construct,
compassionate love, refers to a kind of love that people can experience in a romantic
relationship but in other contexts as well.
Of course, the most compelling evidence that the agape love style and compassionate
love are not identical concepts is empirical. We therefore administered measures of both
constructs and assessed the extent to which they are correlated. The correlation (r ¼ .56)
was not so high as to suggest that the agape love style and compassionate love are
redundant constructs. Importantly, in regression analyses, when we entered both com-
passionate love and agape love style scores as predictors of relationship outcomes, agape
was no longer significant once compassionate love was taken into account. This held
whether we designated relationship satisfaction or commitment as the outcome variable
and whether we included all six love styles or just the agape love style in the equation.
are required over a sustained period. Longitudinal studies in which the development and
maintenance of compassionate love are documented under conditions of high and low
adversity would be an invaluable addition to the literature.
It also will be critical to conduct experiments (e.g., priming compassionate love) to allow
for causal conclusions. It is assumed that compassionate love translates into prosocial
behaviors, for example, but it is quite possible that an experience of caregiving for a partner
or making sacrifices for him or her fuels feelings of compassionate love. It also seems
reasonable to assume that people who love their partners compassionately will experience
greater relationship satisfaction. Indeed, Reis et al. (in press) found that compassionate acts
predicted next-day relationship satisfaction. However, the possibility remains that the causal
direction could be the reverse or that these variables are reciprocally causal. Research also
should be conducted to test more complex causal pathways. For example, it seems likely that
compassionate love leads to prosocial behavior, which, in turn, contributes to increased
satisfaction, which then results in increased commitment and stability.
Finally, it will be important in future research to demonstrate empirically that com-
passionate love can be distinguished from other kinds of love that people can experience
for a romantic partner. Berscheid (2010) has argued that the four kinds of love identified in
her taxonomy are likely to co-occur in relationships, but that they can, and should, be
distinguished. In our ongoing research, we are attempting to disentangle these kinds of
love (e.g., Fehr & Harasymchuk, 2012). There is clear evidence that different kinds of love
‘‘go together,’’ as Berscheid suggested. The challenge is to demonstrate their distinctness,
given the high intercorrelations between scales that assess the various kinds of love.
Conclusion
Even though research on compassionate love is still in its infancy, the studies that have
been conducted so far suggest that experiencing a selfless, other-centered kind of love
has far-reaching consequences. People who love their partners compassionately report
a prosocial relationship climate characterized by caring, sacrifice, and support. Compas-
sionate love also is associated with the most prized relational outcome variables, namely
satisfaction and commitment. Relationship scientists have been concerned with devel-
oping and implementing strategies for keeping passionate, romantic love alive in rela-
tionships (e.g., Aron, Norman, Aron, McKenna, & Heyman, 2000). The research that is
accumulating on compassionate love suggests it may be just as important for relation-
ship scientists to find ways of maintaining and enhancing compassionate love.
Funding
Support for this research from the Fetzer Institute and a Social Sciences and Humanities Research
Council of Canada grant awarded to the first author is gratefully acknowledged.
Notes
1. Gender differences on the agape love style score tend to be mixed. The most common finding is
that of no gender difference. However, a few recent studies have found that men scored higher
on this love style than women (see Fehr, in press, 2013, for reviews), which was also the case in
the present study (see Table 1).
596 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 31(5)
2. Scores on the agape love style scale are generally uncorrelated with measures of standard per-
sonality traits. However, there is some evidence that agape is negatively correlated with avoi-
dant attachment and positively correlated with secure attachment, although the associations
tend to be small in magnitude (see Fehr, in press, 2013, for reviews).
3. To our knowledge, the relation between the agape love style and prosocial behavior has not
been examined empirically.
4. We are not aware of research on the relation between the agape love style and closeness. How-
ever, the relation between the agape love style and satisfaction has been studied extensively. In
the studies reviewed by Fehr (2013), correlations varied from .07 to .57, with most coefficients
falling in the range of .20 to .39, suggesting a moderate association (see also meta-analysis by
Graham, 2011).
5. Correlations between the agape love style and commitment tend to be moderate in magnitude
(e.g., Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989; Levy & Davis, 1988). Regarding relationship stability, Hen-
drick, Hendrick, and Adler (1988) examined the role of love styles in the dissolution of dating
relationships over a 2-month period. Couples whose relationship remained intact were higher
on eros and lower on ludus than those whose relationship had ended. The two groups did not
differ significantly in agape.
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