we exist in a world today where

everything can be faked or fixed noses

can be changed and stomachs can be
tightened and cellulite can be lasered
away apparently because that's what
we're told to do which is alter
ourselves in order to be beautiful for
the past year I've been quietly trying
to navigate my fluctuating weight and
I've faced criticism in the past for
talking about my body image people told
me that I didn't have the right to talk
about being self-conscious about my body
because I was skinny and I understand
how it seems inappropriate for someone
who is average-sized to talk about
problems with weight gain but my point
is I didn't think anything was wrong
with my body until I was in an industry
that rewards and praises people for
having a smaller waist than I will ever
have and it felt unfair to think that I
would never have an industry perfect
body just because I wasn't genetically
built a certain way I was exposed to
young women smaller than I was telling
me that they needed to lose weight so I
became hyper aware of my changing body I
could see the difference in my shape and
photos and wondered if anyone else was
noticing I felt this strange constant
struggle of having to live up to the
expectation of the appearance that I had
already established to the world so I
found myself examining my body
constantly in the mirror sometimes
thinking okay like I was being too hard
on myself everything's fine I'm still
the same size and then I'd go back and
look in the mirror a couple hours later
and my stomach looked completely
different so I was thinking was my
reflection lying to me how can my body
look so different over the course of one
day and why do I feel like I need to
apologize to the world for my ever
changing
so I didn't want the world to think that
I was catfishing them with my appearance
or making myself out to be a certain
size and shape when clearly my body was
changing so I told myself if I can see
this change then other people can too
reflections don't lie or do they
and is that body dysmorphia or is this
the normal part of being a woman that no
one really talks about I think about
when I have kids in the future and will
my daughter be self-conscious about
gaining weight will she feel the need to
explain her body or justify it to anyone
as it changes will she feel the same
need that I do now to apologize to her
peers and say oh my body doesn't usually
look like this or I'm just a little
heavier than usual right now because how
ridiculous is it that we even think
about explaining the nature of our
bodies to other people but it's because
we don't want them to judge us because
judgment and criticism have always
existed it's just that now everyone can
be a critic and share it publicly
without hesitation at the push of a
button I used to look at all the
magazine covers near the checkout line
at the grocery store when I was younger
and sometimes the cover would show a
celebrity with the headline here's what
she really looks like and I wanted to
see obviously I wanted to see what was
underneath and I wanted to see the flaws
everyone wants to see the flaws of
another person because we want to see
glimpses of our own insecurities in them
and we want to know that we aren't the
only ones from a young age we are
unknowingly being trained by magazines
marketing and all forms of media into
thinking that having cellulite or not
wearing makeup is worthy of being
publicly shamed so there was no way in
hell that has young women digesting this
media we weren't
to try and hide those parts of ourselves
from then on we aren't born with these
insecurities we are told to be insecure
about certain things we are conditioned
to feel ashamed or embarrassed about
certain parts of ourselves the world is
not going to reform tomorrow we can't
rely on those who profit from our
perceived flaws to change their ways
there is no easy fix to the idea the
ideas of women that have existed for
hundreds of years
so that leaves us with one option which
is changing it ourselves showing what's
real with no filter and certainly with
no shame you are helping the movement of
strong modern women when you show the
parts of yourself that we have been
forever told to hide so as a first step
I encourage you to find a healthy
balance between expressing the natural
vulnerable side of yourself with the
glamorous contoured side as much as I
like to share photos from shoots and red
carpets I think it's much more important
to show what I look like the other 99%
of the time some days I feel strong and
confident and other times I'm sucked
into the rabbit hole of awful comments
where strangers are criticizing parts of
myself that I wasn't even aware of so
how do I let every day be one of those
victorious days where I feel invincible
I don't I don't know I don't have the
perfect solution but I have discovered
some things that do help me have those
better days I started to purge myself of
content that made me feel less beautiful
on a daily basis I unfollowed the
accounts on Instagram that made me
question the shape and curves of my own
body I also started living a more active
lifestyle because I wanted to feel
healthy on the inside which required
some thought
full effort on my part but I wanted to
know that I was healthy and strong
without having identical measurements to
those other women that I was seeing
remind yourself that this perfect world
you see online in magazines or movies
and TV are presented to you through so
many different filters so do not set
impossible goals of meeting those fake
standards it's unrealistic to think that
your body or my body will ever look like
anyone elses that's not the way it's
supposed to be we are all imperfectly
beautiful so let's embrace that and
practice that in a healthy way there is
a massive worldwide community of women
who are rooting for beauty to be
recognized in every shape and color that
we come in I mean events like this
glamour summit are a part of that
movement so embracing your natural
beauty does not exclude anyone there is
no fine print you can be naturally
beautiful with acne or scars cellulite
or curves so let's celebrate each other
and ourselves as we are as we will be
and as we were meant to be unique
imperfect beautiful and so incredibly
powerful thank you