THE NO.

1 MAGAZINE IN
FE B R UARY 2016 www.fhm.com.ph THE PHILIPPINES

HOW TO
DATE
#ALDUB
#fhmdancewithdawn
STYLE

PINOY’S THE OLDEST VIRGIN

FUNNIEST MADONNA
VIRAL VIDEOS IS COMING
( Y O U R M O M I S WAT C H I N G)
GREATEST HITS

dawn
CHILLAX
hot Legs! IT’S JUST
ZEN & YOGA

COOKS IN 30 MINS
GOURMET-GRADE

chang big brother

FULL MEAL

GET WOMEN
says dance TO WANT TO
With her
SEX YOU
THE UNTOLD STORY:
MANILA SUBWAYS P150

WE ALMOST HAD
 F E AT UR ES
c o nt e nts 0 2 / 1 6

38
DAW N C HA N G
Turns out the
Hotlegs dance
alumna literally
does have a
pair of really
hot legs. And
56 Food For one interesting
(x4) conversation
Prep a four-course meal
skills, too.
and impress everyone
like you were a master
at making food, not
just eating it.

62 Are you sAying

P H O T O G R A P H Y : R I A R E G I N O , K U R T A LV A R E Z ; I L L U S T R AT I O N S : M E LV I N C A L I N G O

AmAlAyer?
A visual history of the
viral video.

66 How to HAve
oodles oF sex
AppeAl
Another handy guide to
get the ladies’ panties
in a twist

68 revisiting our
rAilwAys
Four lines for 11
million people. Is...is
there still hope for our
train lines?

76 sAkurA lAo
Daydreams of being
elsewhere, we’re
coming with her!

82 dessie
mitcHeson
…thinks golf is sexy. No
longer will it be deemed
a dad sport, now.
 c o n t e nts 02 / 1 6
STA RT E R
10 Hot BrAZiliAn
Alert!
Danielle Alves is a keeper
14 tHe BAtAk Bro kit
…And other people you
want to be, now made easy
to change into, with this
starter kit.
18 Anting Anting +
gAyumA
We rounded a bunch of
items made to draw in the
good and fan out the bad,
and a bunch of scientists to
get finicky about them.
20 BAr room Jokes
Bar room jokes closes for
good this issue, but at a
funny high.
LO U NGE
24 Are you reAdy to
get HitcHed?
Indulge these multiple
choice quizzes, Valentine’s is
as good a month as any.
4 FH M FEBRUARY 2016
26 Flirting vs
cHeAting
She draws the line, are you
on the same page?
28 tHe gospel oF
dAting According
to AlduB
One advice short of
becoming the dating
commandments. Does not
include waiting for the
“tamang panahon.”
30 conFession:
BooBs
Women can’t stop talking
about it too.
AC C ES S
32 reBel HeArt
Touching on Madonna trivia
like it was the first time…
33 tHe BreAkup
plAylist
What not to include on
your V-day tune rotation.
34 liFe is strAnge
…and three other emotional
gaming titles, here’s
playing with your feelings.
36 deAdpool dies?
Unspoiler: We list a bunch
of ways to kill the self-
healing, foul-mouthed
bastard.
STYLE
88 multiple
personAlity
disorder
The right clothes for every
kind of person you want
to be.
90 meet-tHe-pArents
wArdroBe
Tip#1: wear a cardigan.
GIRLF RIE ND
96 reBeccA
BoggiAno
Our favorite Aussie to
date.
UPGRADE
100 AlpHA geeks
to Be
Zuckerberg and co, plus
where to spot the next
Pinoy Steve jobs.
103 cArve A nAme For
I L L U S T R AT I O N S : W A R R E N E S P E J O , M I K K E G A L L A R D O , LO U I E A R E N A S
yourselF
WheninManila founder
Vince Golangco tells us how
104 keep cAlm, do A
P H OTO G R A P H Y : A R I S I M A N G A N , A N D R E O E S G U E R R A ;
HeAdstAnd
relaxation techniques and
tricks to get you through
the workweek.
108 sports cAr Alert!
The Mazda MX-5 rolls in.
110 pAmper tecH
Gearing up for self-love this
February.
112 true!
Stories of utter humiliation
to cap off the month.
www.fhm.com.ph
 T H E TEAM: WHAT FHM ers HAVE BEEN U P TO T HI S M ON T H
The gang huddles around the leggy wonder that is cover girl Dawn Chang for a sweet month of
love souvenir.
After tastefully spilling food on the table for art’s sake,
you can bet the FHM gang did not let those strawberry
wontons go to waste.
ERRATUM: We got
confused while writing
down the credits for
our cover stories. For
October, we mixed
up the names of the
makeup and hair artist
for Cindy Miranda,
which are Jim Ros
for Inglot Cosmetics
and Francis Guintu
for Cynos Inside Hair
Care respectively, and
also for the hair and
makeup of Queenie
Rehman, which are
Dave Grona for Cynos
Inside Hair Care and
Jim Ros for Inglot
Cosmetics. Also,
credits go to Anton
Umali for his interview
with Jennylyn last
month! Peace, bro.
6 FH M FEBRUARY 2016
I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . .
Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos
Managing Editor Allan P. Hernandez
Art Director Paul C. Villariba
Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan
Senior Features Editor Khyne L. Palumar
Assistant Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay
Assistant Managing Editor Pong M. Castillo
Editorial Assistant Chise A. Alcantara
Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera
A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . .
Managing Editor Brian Adrian H. Borleo
Associate Section Editor Gelo G. Gonzales
Senior Staff Writer Ron Jay B. Eduvas
Staff Writer Neps N. Firmalan, John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A.
Hogaza
Video Production Specialist Engelheart V. Jarilla
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM...
Words Cam Arcilla, Stephanie Gonzaga, John Paulo Aguilera,
Anne Mari Ronquillo, Abby Mendoza, Roselle Miranda, Vince Sales,
Toni Antiporda, Wayne Tulio Illustrations Mikke Gallardo, Warren Espejo,
Louis Arenas, Manix Abrera, Gilbert Daroy Pictures Ari Simangan,
Louie Aguinaldo, Dairy Darilag, Ria Regino, Kurt Alvarez, Melvin Calingo,
Lou Gopal, Shaira Luna, Rey Trajano, Andreo Esguerra, Jay Tablante,
Mark Jesalva Styling/Makeup/Hair Badj Genato, Janina Dizon,
Julius Villanueva, Ria Casco, Sari Campos, Rhoy Cervantes, Jessica Fang,
Elizabeth Suj, Iya Yujuico, Debra Bernales, Jet Babas, Hannah Kim,
Beam Mariano
F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L N E T W O R k
International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director
Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard
International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content
Executive Ryan Chambers International Digital & Content Executive
Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild
International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech
Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs,
(Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Sam
Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin
Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia)
Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic,
(South Africa) Hagen Engler, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee,
(Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar, (UK) Joe Barnes
SUMMIT MEDIA
President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Publisher Edna T. Belleza
VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Junior Associate Publisher
Aeus Kevin Reyes Digital Publisher Adel De Jesus Deputy Group
Digital Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business Operations Manager
Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production
Director Elizabeth Rellis Assistant Production Manager Jane M. Puno
Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production Graphic Artist Louis
Arenas Administrative Services Manager Whilma M. Lopez Admin
Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel
ADVERTISING
Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-key
FHM.com.ph staff writer Paulo Aguilera Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Mangers Maiza G. Mueco key Account
Specialists Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, Alex Revelar,
donned his good boy starter pack for the Annie Santos, Suzette Tolentino Senior Account Manager (Print)
biggest interview of his life thus far. Ginger Taduran, Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager
(Digital) Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Melinda
Kitane-San Diego, Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del
Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Adv. Executive Assistant
Rita Barbacena key Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Ashley Balla,
Chinggay M. Cabit Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago
Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio, Myra Gorospe
E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T
Assistant Marketing Manager: Leah H. Basco Jr. Marketing
Associates: Sirius Langkay, Gladys Lapitan, Siena Mirano,
Kieffer Albert Nonato, Abigail Pinili
M E D I A R E L AT I O N S
Media Relations Manager Grace Enriquez Media Relations
Associate Nicole David
Art director Paul lent us TRADE MARkETING
his Hot Toys Dark Knight Trade Marketing Officer Candace Lobendino Sr. Trade Marketing
Associates Caz Marino Trade Marketing Associate Kamille Guirnalda
under the condition Trade Marketing Ass. Jamie Islo, Angelica Anne Casacop, Daryl Lincod
Jr. Trade Marketing Project Coordinator Patric Malicdem
of death or exile if we
C R E AT I V E S O L U T I O N S
damaged it during the Team Art Director Jaykee Evangelista Copywriter Miguel Escobar Digital
Chise, Pong, Paul, and other Summit
shoot. Art Director Rey Etable Associate Art Director Jerome de Dios Carlo
friends practicing the art of urban camo Maala Senior Web Designer Teddy Garcia Producer Tara Llavore
C I R C U L AT I O N
and twinning. Or quadrupleting? Circulation Manager Alma M. Madelo Deputy National Circulation
Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Alaine Mae Lozada
Provincial Sales Manager Alexis Martinez International Distribution
Did you think JL Specialist Ulyssis Javier Distributors Group Head Caroline Herrera
key Accounts Group Head Malou Rubinos Subscriptions Group
could actually Head Hanna Montecer Circulation Supervisor Mary Fatima Flores
do a chill Systems Administrator - Interactive Editions Rico Cruz, Ron Silang
headstand? key Accounts SpecialistVivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis,
Noreen Sescon-Peligro, Jinky Rose Calugtong, Jennifer Tolentino,
This must be Jenny Reparep, Lhon Bituin, Nathaniel Embiado, Felix Tong II
Distributor Specialist-North Luzon Mark Elliot Villola Distributor
“SHOPPED!”
Specialist-Central Luzon Gian Carlo Peralta Distributor Specialist-
(No, actually, he Central Visayas Robert Revilla Distributor Specialist-Western
did pull off this Visayas Ivan Dela Pena Distributor Specialist-Central Mindanao
Eric Ferdinand Gasatan Newsstands Supervisor Joel Valdez Sales
stunt, and this is Representative-GMA John Lakhi Celso, Edward Caringal, Anjelyn Joy
a flipped image. Carino Subscription Coordinator Jofet Abad-Legaspi, Joyce Ann
Ramos, Raquel Lorenzo Distribution Account Analyst May Ann Ayuste
Snaps for JL!) Circulation Administrative Assistant Marjorie Abueme Circulation
Administrative Assistant Elnie Marie Santos Export Sales Assistant
Legui Brylle Gonzales Telemarketer Michelle Jayin, Ruby Rose Frias
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
 Get in touch!

letterS 02/16 FaCebook.Com/

Fhm.Ph
ins tagR am@
FhmPhiloFFiCial
tWitteR.Com/
FhmPhil
Fhm@summitmedia.
Com.Ph
6F & 7F Robinsons
CybeRgate CenteR
toWeR 3 PioneeR
ComPlex, PioneeR st.,
mandaluyong City 1550

DAteS WItH
JeNNY

HUWERK IT, GURL

Can you do the
#FHMJennylynIsTheSexiest
pose? Melo of Las Piñas can!
She’s a fan and is hoping to
see these photos uploaded
on the official Facebook
page of #JennylynMercado.
@globaljennylynians, via
SPECIAL ORDER IN THE COURT Instagram
Reviewing an important document while waiting for a
hearing at Sandiganbayan to start. @MercadoJenny
@JennylynNation
@FSTopacio, via Twitter

COFFEE DATE
Weekend vibes. Reading
the current issue
SUCCESS!
of @fhmphilofficial
I finally gotcha!😉😉
with the Philippines’
@luvdenjenforever, via
finest on the cover!
Instagram
#FHMJennylynIsTheSexiest
I just watched Walang
Forever and it easily became
ATTENTION! one of my favorite Filipino
I just want to share my movies!
FHM collection from 2010. @senoritostephen, via
These were my go to Instagram
sources of entertainment
during my training days
while on duty at Clark
Airforce Base. Please keep
my name confidential.
Sgt. Confidential, via
Facebook

SEE YOU MOTOR BOAT

AGAIN Hello FHM Philippines, I’m
Hi FHM! We were an avid fan of the magazine.
wondering if you Can you please post my
could include our picture? It’s my birthday
picture in your surprise for my LDR lover CUDDLE BUDDY
magazine? This this month. I hope this Woke up early with
is our elementary makes you happy even if Jennylyn on my bed.
barkada finally you’re so far away! Philippines’ finest for
having a reunion. Maria Mercedez, via 2016—here she comes!
Eli, via email Facebook cortezjayel, via instagram

8 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph


A SHOT OF SEXY
The Sexiest and back-to-back
MMFF Best Actress
@mercadojenny coffee sketch.
@redgerald, via Instagram
HE'S CURED!
Ano ang mga gamot para
sa lagnat? Kailangan mo
lang ng Kool Fever, BioFlu,
at isang Jennylyn Mercado.
#FHMJennylynIsTheSexiest
#JennylynMercado
@kapitan2792, via
Instagram
SIlAW
SelFIeS
www.fhm.com.ph
We HeArt
YOUr Art
PSYCHEDELIC
I’m so proud of you,
Ate Jen! Congrats!
@paulodacrem, via
Instagram
TO NARNIA AND
BEYOND!
FHM loyalista here!
Nagsimula akong
mahumaling sa inyong
magasin mula pa noong
nasa kolehiyo ako,
at hanggang ngayon
nabibighani pa rin
ako. Sa katunyan,
sinisimulan ko nang
idekorasyon ang mga ito
sa aking pintuan.
Leoj Saitam Atlarep, via
Facebook
WALLPAPER LOVE
Wallpaper ko nga pala.
Eirel John Sunga, via
Facebook
Yes! Got my FHM January I’m such a proud fan.
@abuntojean, via The sexiest in the land
issue! I love you mareng @mercadojenny
Jennylyn! Instagram
@darvinquino, via
@iamtopherpascual, via Instagram
Instagram
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 9
STARTER

Wi s d o M Yo u
s H o u l d n’t
l e ave H o M e
Wit H o ut

photography:
ARI SIMANGAN
interview:
PONG CASTILLO
hair and makeup:
MIKO DACANAY

10 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 ke
She p' e r
e s a
D a n ie ll e Alv es ta k e s in t erest in horror flicks, m yst erious m en,
a n d ro ma n ce . Gent s, we’ve found our girl!
Danielle Alves has the traits
that would make men (and
women) turn heads: white-as-
porcelain skin, brown eyes,
plump lips, and dark brown locks that
make all her features stand out. If
just for those, she has earned herself
instant admirers in us. But what really
has us hooked in the 23-year-old
Brazilian model is her straightforward
personality and this interesting life
advice: Danielle thinks people should
make an impact in people’s lives based
on their character. Because “that’s
more important anyway.” Now how
can you not take that advice? This
girl knows how to set a good first
impression.
Love month is up! What are your
plans?
To be honest, I’m not really sure. I
don’t have a boyfriend anyway, ha
ha! But I want to celebrate it with my
friends.
Can you wise us up on how single
ladies celebrate Valentine’s Day on
that side of the world?
Brazil is a fun place, and I’d like to
believe we are fun-loving people, too.
There are a lot of parties you can
attend with your friends. But romantic
dinners are a big thing for Brazilian
couples on V-day.
www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph •
Rub off some V-day tricks on us: How
should we surprise our girl on the day?
Keep things genuine and personal.
Write her a love letter. It’s your pass to
go extra cheesy every year so go for it!
You mentioned that you do full-time
modeling, and that your schedule can
get pretty hectic. Any interesting
hobby we’d be surprised to know?
Yes. Modeling is a serious industry
here in Brazil, and a competitive one
at that. To destress, I workout. It’s
therapeutic and beneficial in my line of
work. But if I really have more time, I
watch films and read books.
What genre are you into?
I’m into horror and suspense, and
autobiographies are on top of my
list. I think it’s amazing how artists
and directors have a way of building
up that tension in you when you’re
watching those types of films.
So taking you to the movies is
always a good idea…
Of course! I like a good scary movie,
something with depth, something that
can disturb you.
Interesting! That’s a good takeoff
point for a conversation, yes?
It’s always a nice time talking to
someone with the same interests
as you, but it’s even nicer to talk to
someone who has totally different
hobbies. Be with someone who can
teach you new things!
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 11
Danielle Alves
What’s the most interesting thing a
man taught you?
When it comes to relationships, I’ve
learned that being too romantic all the
time can be boring. Keep things easy
and fun; no need to be serious and
pushy all the time.
We’d agree with you on that…
That’s why I’m into the mysterious
type—men who are unpredictable.
People should work on making an
impact in people’s lives based on their
personalities and not their mere looks.
That’s what’s more important anyway.
Would you say you are mysterious
as well?
Not really. But I am a little clingy. I
have a tendency to get jealous and
possessive, ha ha!
Any crazy girlfriend tale you want to
share?
I once punched a girl in the face
because she tried to kiss my boyfriend!
Hey, I am not a violent person, but that
was just taking it too far.
Any tips for guys to avoid making
his girl jealous?
Get off those dating apps! If you can’t
give that up, break it off with her. FH M

Keep things
genuine and
personal. Write
her a love letter.
it’s your pass to
go extra cheesy
every year so go
for it!

12 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 The complete

Poser Pack
Fake it ‘til you
make it…

WORDS
ChISE AlCAnTARA
PHOTOGRAPHY
lOUIE AGUInAlDO
PROPS
BEAM MARIAnO

N
owadays, with the help of social
media, anybody can be anybody. With
the right filtering of posts, you can
convince anyone that you’re a much
more interesting person than you
really are. It has never been so easy to box
yourself into a specific clique—to be liked, and
to belong.
But where do you begin? Transforming into
the new you would require copious amounts of
research to keep your Internet persona accurate
and defined—but what if we tell you that you’ll
only need a few things? We’ve created specialized
checklists of all the basic items you should be
seen using to pass yourself off as the person you
want to be. Get ready to be a new man!

14 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

The ‘so relevant’ bro
He may or may not have a political science degree, and he may or may not be currently
taking masters in some first world country in europe. He comments on every single issue
that happens in Philippine politics, and compares it to how well the government of the
country he’s in is doing. every week, he’ll discover a “social cause” to complain about being
too under the radar and blames “the system” as to why no one else knows about it. as a
pseudo-hipster/pseudo-intellectual he’ll write all of his political analyses on his WordPress
blog—where he also posts about pop culture, his Starbucks planner, and marxism.

STARTER Che Guevarra tee, upside-down caramel macchiato, skinny

KIT: no foam, with two shots of decaf, pictures of him doing charity
work in poverty-stricken areas, atheists are Better than
Christians memes

The ‘hugot dahil

torpe’ bro
a little bit of self-pity here, a bit of patama
hirits there and you have the perfect formula
for you to get friend-zoned by every living
woman on the planet. on the other hand,
Hugot bro can also be a funny hugotero
The ‘saktong gainz lang bro’... bro depending on the how he balances the humor
and the kasawian. Needless to say, whether or
the days of the bouncer-batak bod has passed. this guy knows that today’s women find not you are ironically or legitimately hugoting,
the lean saktong-semi-batak-na-saktong-pang-muscle-shirt-lang body to be sleeker lagi namang merong pinanghuhugutan and
looking and easier to manage. this guy goes to the gym to do bench presses, biceps curls, there’s always a reason for hugot even if he
and lat pulls to keep that upper body nice and pumped, and his torso is brought to you by denies it.
the letter “V.” How about leg day? Please, how would he fit into his skinny jeans?

STARTER KIT:
STARTER Plain v-neck muscle shirt, Frisbee, under armour cap, shirtless
beach picture or hiking picture with compression shirt, Whey Poetry books, a trinket from his past
KIT: relationships, pastillas, old photographs
Protein Shake

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 15

 The people
pleaser bro
What other people think of you
is, like, the most important thing
in the entire universe, therefore
it’s of utmost importance to make
sure that you please everyone.
indifference and understanding
is key. Being open to everyone’s
opinions no matter how painfully
stupid and misconceived they are
because everyone is important. No
taking sides, no biased opinions,
no being passionate about
something you like, and finally
you'll be accepted—easy as that.

STARTER KIT:
Weed, parent’s money,
parent’s car with
complimentary driver, shares
from berlin-artparasites and
Humans of New york

Fanboy bro WHAT ‘MR. RIGHT’

your fandom is sacred and above any other fandom in the world. Beauty is in the eye
DID THIS MONTH
of the beholder, and since there’s no “i” in “team” there’s no need for other eyes nor
opinions in this matter because you know in your hearts of hearts that maine mendoza is
the personification of beauty and anyone who challenges this absolute truth is “BoBo!”
and should reconsider every life choice he or she has made so far in his/her existence. if
anyone should blaspheme the name of the blessed virgin may they be struck down by the
mightiest of keyboard warriors and let the floods of butt hurt comments drown them, lest
the heavens fall and the dirt rise up.

STARTER a new haircut trying to copy idol’s hairstyle (see: ea Chise’s or “Ako na ba si Mr . R i g h t? ”
KIT: virtually every dude with an undercut, and miley Cyrus), crude
memorabilia mugs, rare recordings of idol’s guestings at various
shows, makeshift daimikura with idol’s face printed on it.

“Nasasakt an din an g g w ap o.”

“1 like = 1 p ray er ”

16 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 starter

words
CAM ARCILLA
Spellbound
PhotoGraPhy Can these mystiCal objeCts aCtually
DAIRY DARILAG
OF CHILLED MILK work? we’ll let sCienCe deCide
STUDIOS

18 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 suasin says. but she does businesses and financial
Admit it, we all have a little share of not discount the peculiar matters.
paranormal in our lives. Amulets, charms, power of faith. Experts’ take: doctors
love potions, and other whatnots your Cardena, Cadiz, and
lola might’ve snuck in your home (See: 3 WISH I NG Gruezo of uPlb’s Plant
Gusto ko nang magkaapo). But really, CAN DLES biology division says
how close are we to getting that promised Comes in different colors, the specimen could just
superhuman strength and irresistible representing aspects in be any plant. meaning,
attractiveness? life that a person wishes nothing special.
to change as they are lit.
O UR DISP UT E PANEL Experts’ take: 7 KAMAY
Psychologist de jesus, like the pang-kaway, it
says: “most of the is said to have the ability
Richtofen De Jesus Lourdes Cardena effects of these items to “attract” customers or
Psychologist Nina Cadiz are brought upon by a good luck in finances.
William Gruezo Placebo effect, wherein Experts’ take: “this
Fe Lourdes Suasin Eleanor Villaverde your consciousness object gives the owner a
Chemist Biologists encourages you to believe sense of financial security.
that something positive in fact, it was noted that if
Maden Krista will happen. For instance, you had possession of it,
Velando 3 some patients heal faster and a rival business sets
Food technologist when they drink a pill up near you, it would then
because they believe that suck the luck out of the
the pill is helping them, rival and transfer it to you,”
even if the pill doesn’t de jesus says.
really have anything in it.”
8 PANG-AKIT
4 B U LALAKAW a love charm that looks
2 a “meteorite” used for like dried grass or hay, but
defense against the goes beyond enticing just
dark arts. one particular person—it'll
1
Experts’ take: “if it is a charm any woman who
meteorite,” suasin says catches a whiff of it. just
the sulfur, magnesium, be careful when you have
calcium, sulfide, and this in your bag because
other composites of people might think you’re
4 the meteorite might into a different kind of
have caused it to emit damo.
electromagnetic radiation Experts’ take: “these
mistakenly thought of grass clippings, when
as an aura of mystical burned or boiled, give
9 energy.” off odors similar to the
effect of pheromones.
5 MATA (EYE) Pheromones trigger
8 the eye inside a triangle sexual hormones, which
5 is what Freemasons call could then turn them ‘on.’”
the eye of Providence. says de jesus.
the masons have roots
in the knights templar, 9 GAYU MA (OI L)
once footsoldiers of the similar to the oil your
7 Catholic Church in the nanay rubs on your tummy
Crusades but were later to avoid kabag. only you
decimated by the same add a ritual: touch the
6 church when they grew bottle and pray to it, as
too powerful.after the you hold a piece of paper
purge of the templar with the full name of the
knights, people began to girl you'd like to fall for
believe that the talisman you.
was enveloped with Experts’ take: suasin
protective powers of the says that based on its
perished knights, which minty scent, it is probably
1 M I LAG ROSA ‘dead’ when it’s dried up, 2 GAYU MA (PAPE R made the bearer invincible. made of eucalyptus, some
one of those super herbal but becomes alive again I N A BOTTLE) Experts’ take: “all seaweed-like component,
remedies your old aunt when you water it,” he the admirer puts a drop it really gives you is plant seeds and roots.
boiled in water and made says. Food tech Velando, of the admired person’s confidence,” says de “as a form of kulam, the
you drink whenever you’re on the other hand, says: cologne/scent (pawis) jesus. “invincibility is a substance found in the
sick with basically anything. “while there are a lot of inside along with a different thing altogether.” mixture has no significant
Experts’ take: biologist plants that have healing piece of paper with the effect to the person being
Gruezo identifies it as properties, it can also have beloved’s last name. 6 PANG-KAWAY cursed unless they ingest
selaginella tamariscina, or side effects like vomiting, Experts’ take: "it’s just a twig or fiber from soft it.” says de jesus.
“resurrection plant.” “the headaches, and gastro- a plain piece of paper in a wood. Pang-kaway, as the
‘milagrosa’ probably got intestinal disturbances.” bottle. it wouldn’t have any name puts it, is intended
its name because it looks reaction at all,” chemist for “waving” at luck for

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 19

 starter

now and you can call the bank Monday

to verify the funds; I’ll pick the ring up
Monday afternoon.” On Monday morning,
the jeweler angrily phoned the old man
and said “Sir, there’s no money in that
account.” “I know, said the old man. “But
let me tell you about my weekend.”
InsideLight, via Facebook

HIRIT
HOKAGE
Tisyu lang ang may
puso
Alam mo para kang tisyu
sa banyo… I never realize
DEEP SHIT how important you were
Life is a lot like until you were gone.
toilet paper. 8 weeks, via Facebook
You’re either on
a roll or you’re Juan Thugz
taking shit from Juana: Knock knock.
some asshole. Juan: Who's there?
RobertJohnson, Juana: Semester.
via email Juan: Semester, who?
Juana: Ikaw na ba
semester right? Ikaw na ba

ILLUSTRATION: MIKKE GALLARDO

ang love of my life.
Bal C. Garsiya, via
Facebook

Palitan
Handa akong takbuhin ang
buong mundo basta ang
finish line, puso mo.
Fantastic, via
Facebook

Habulan
Sige, basta mauna ka…
dahil mas sanay akong

Bar room jokes

maghabol.
Baby, via Facebook

Is it f unny ?
Necessary
prescription
A man walks into a chemist
and asks for some Viagra at
the counter. The chemist says
to the man, “Do you have a
prescription for that?” “No.” The
man replies, “But will a photo of
my wife suffice?”
elmexicanoguy, via
Facebook
Enlightening
Mahatma Gandhi, as you
know, walked barefoot most
of the time, which produced
an impressive set of calluses
on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. I
guess you can call him a super
calloused fragile mystic, hexed
by halitosis.
MasterBoo, via Facebook
It’s gonna be a good
weekend
A balding white-haired man
walks into a jewelry store with
a beautiful younger gal at his
side. He told the jeweler he
was looking for a special ring
for his girlfriend. The jeweler
DIRTIEST JOKE
SHE
K N OWS
looked through his stock and
brought out a P50,000 ring.
The man said, “No, I’d like to
see something more special.” At
that statement, the jeweler went
to his special stock and brought
another ring over. “Here’s a
stunning ring at only P90,000,”
the jeweler said. The lady's eyes
sparkled and her whole body
trembled with excitement. The
old man seeing this said, “We’ll
take it.” The jeweler asked how
the payment would be made What’s it like f*cking a fat
and the man stated, “By check. chick in an elevator?
I know you need to make sure Wrong on so many levels.
my check is good, so I'll write it Jill, 23, Writer

20 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

ADVERTISING FEATURE

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to a little friendly sparring in
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a good time.

How does it feel like to be part of the

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I couldn’t believe it! Out of hundreds of girls
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How was your experience with the

other PREMIERE Vixens?
It was sobrang fun! I’m looking forward to
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What’s your idea of fun?

WITH PREMIERE CALENDAR COVER GIRL I get a thrill out of physical activity. He he! I’m
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YASSI
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T S ALWAY Crossfit. Lalo na when I’m doing it with my
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YASSI
BEER OR SHOTS?
Benitez
@yassibenitez

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GENTLEMEN OR BAD BOYS?
Gentlemen! I don’t like bad boys.
HUGS OR KISSES?
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 Titos , titas , and
your woman
have asked this
question in
one form ( ‘Iho,
kelan na?” ),
or another
(“ Tara ?”).
Because it’s
Valentine’s,
we help you
answer…
1 When your relatives
ask: “Hindi ka pa ba
mag-aasawa?” Your
default reaction is:
a. Answering “Malapit na
po,” with a goofy lovestruck
grin on your face.
b. Cracking a joke about
how all the poor girls would
cry if they didn’t have you to
woo and romance them.
c. Shrugging your
shoulders.
d. Suddenly being
absorbed in what you’re
eating.
24 FH M FEBRUARY 2016
Are you
ready
to get
hitched?
w o r d s : ST E PH A N I E G O N Z AG A
2
3
When your girlfriend
While in a momol session, you realize: gushes about this
beautiful church or
a. You’d gladly waggle tongues with this same her friend’s wedding
woman for the rest of your life. dress, you:
b. How many ladies you’d like to have preludes
a. Instinctively and
to a romp with in the next week. Month. Or surprisingly say, “Ganyan
years. As long as you can still swing it. din ba ang gusto mo?”
c. You’ve always only made out with b. Do the ‘tsk’ sound and
girlfriends. You’re the type of guy who doesn’t reply, “Mahal siguro niyan.”
rush into things with just anyone—except for c. Feel pressured to say
that one time you “accidentally” snogged an something that could be
officemate in a meeting room. misinterpreted as a vague
wedding proposal.
d. How much pleasure can be attached to life-
changing decisions you’ll regret later on in life. d. Just listen attentively and
grunt every now and then.
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
 LOUNGE
D AT E H A C K S

4 5 6
When your Post-coitus, you: If your bank
pamangkins come statement could talk,
over, they: a. Enjoy sleeping in and it would say:
being comfortable with
a. Get excited because they after-sex mattress routines a. “Good on you guy. You’ve
get to wrestle or play video with her. got your savings down pat
games with you. and you’re even paying for
b. Get bored and reach for life insurance, on top of
b. Know that they will find the remote control. investments.”
you enjoying your online
“art films.” Maybe that’s c. Try not to think about b. “Gotta hand it to the
also partly why they keep how soon you might be able ‘withdrawal’ master.”
coming over—straight to to do it again. 8
your room. c. “I can tell he hasn’t
d. Wonder if you had just gotten promoted or hasn’t When you hear
c. Eventually find their own
corner and do something
slept with someone who’s
just as horrified as you
had a better-paying job in
the last five years.”
the words
to while away the time,
because you can’t sustain
are with the thought of
procreative sex. d. “At least he has someone
‘marriage’ or
the whole “cool and funny
tito” mode for too long.
to split the bills with, and
looks like he’s not saving up
‘wedding,’
for anything big.” you think of:
d. Will always remember
that you’re the tito who a. Making out with
rolled his eyes when they
shared how their folks were
your girlfriend in a
fighting. stunning white dress.
A clip of you and your
best buds all suited up
and goofing around. A
The last time you went to ring you’ve been eyeing.
Actually, you may have
a friend’s wedding, you: more than a few details
planned already.
a. Took note of how you wanted to be in a suit and not a barong, your choice of b. The movie A Second
shoes, watch, and bridal car done right.
Chance—that John
b. Gladly joined the games just because you never seem to get tired of copping Lloyd-Bea Alonzo sequel.
a feel as you skillfully move the garter up ladies’ legs. Plates and glasses being
c. Thought for a fleeting moment when it’d be your time to tie the knot and how smashed. A wife sobbing
much these events probably cost. You make the most of the open bar and wake in the bathroom. A
up the following morning with a hangover.
perennially inebriated
d. Folded your arms and furrowed your brows during the ceremonial first dance, husband who sneaks
cutting of the cake, speeches, and clinking of glasses.
out to the convenience
door to grab drinks with
friends.
c. Maybe a good two,
three, five years from
now, when you’re ready
to delete Tinder from
your phone. Or not. Lots
of married dudes have it
anyway.
d. An unnecessary
ceremony. Stressful
party planning. Just a
socially accepted way
of legalizing life-long
exclusivity.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 25

 LOUNGE
D AT E H A C K S

9
Upon revisiting
your once-favorite
hangout, you feel:

a. Jurassic. For some

reason, the sashaying
R E S U L T
pekpek shorts-clad girls
don’t have that same
O S T LY O S T LY O S T LY O S T LY
effect they used to have

A B C D
M M M M
on you as before.
b. Right at home. You
never seem to get tired
of ordering the same You are what the “Some men prefer Reports and You’re in a
drinks and practicing “National Marriage to stay unattached studies that look committed
your galawang breezy Project,”—an or single for life for into the reason for relationship and you
international narcissistic reasons,” delayed marriages, see your girlfriend
moves. research survey— says Dr. Angelo including a U.S. as a potential “life
c. So-so. But admit to confirms or calls O. Subida, clinical report “Why Knot?” partner”—but not in
ready simply psychotherapist, say couples are a nuptial context.
yourself it’s something because you feel psychologist, book marrying at an That’s because
you need to do every now it’s the “right time.” author, and speaker. increasingly older you’re not into what
and then. In Pinoy context, “They just want age because of society expects the
you belong the sex or ‘a good economic and two of you to do.
d. You’d much rather to the distinct time’ without the cultural reasons: You don’t believe in
stay at home and watch demographic of responsibility of i.e. it’s taking them marriage or kids.
male hopeless marriage and family.” longer to reach “Such can be a
Netflix with your girl. romantics whose But Dr. Subida career stability. case of relationship
ambition is to be says this doesn’t Marriage marks a by convenience,”
the next Zoren happen just because pinnacle—having Dr. Subida says.
10 Legaspi in the you don’t feel like achieved an “Convenience may
You’ve been spending history of wedding it. “Commitment- ideal status in involve a need
the most money on: proposals. Will phobia is a life. This isn’t a to provide one’s
a. Furniture, kitchen things, it involve a psychological state, far cry from the self with a sense
bedroom special effects, flash mob? An which traces back state of late 20s of psychological
and general home décor. engagement ring to self-esteem and to early 30s Pinoy safety and freedom.
Manly home décor, in case wedged into a attachment issues. males. You’re not A marriage may
anyone asks. pastry? Heck, When a man feels petrified with the be perceived as
wedding schemes internally insecure thought of lending unnecessary and
b. Your comic book and are all over your or overly fearful to your last name restrictive by a
action figure collection. browsing history, get married, it may someday—in fact, person even in a
it’s becoming be symptoms of you’ve thought loving, committed
c. The usual—random embarrassing. low self-respect about it. But it’s relationship due to
lunches out with and intimacy not something you religious aversion,
officemates or a new pair of dysfunction.” foresee happening career or business
shoes. Sometimes, dates. We’re not even anytime soon. reasons, or
sure if you’re pogi You feel you will some unresolved
d. Your pad, which you enough, but that’s a know, “sa tamang emotional trauma
share with your “life partner.” different discussion panahon.” wound in the past.”
altogether.

26 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 15 shades
Har
m le
ss
fun
of cheats
Is your woman’s raised
to u c h in g

ng

eyebrows cramping on
club
huggi

your harmless flirting,

le ri or are you teetering
ma
sk
at a

o
y
fl dangerously on a brave
to
r fe

ir
new fault line? Here’s a
r,
an

ti
the

be

ee
fun graph to chew on…

ng
om

ch
m
no

d
nu

te
er w

he
ha

it

Bu
ir

si Oss
m
t
e

t
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OO le
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e ly
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a
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vi

l, a

w or ds: K HY N E PA L U M A R
ti n g
ha

r a
,o
d j obs - f a ce se
x
a n t o
h face-
le
doggysty
r e a l ly ? !

entering from behind

WILL SHE TAKE YOU BACK? The ladies answer

“The common factors
kasi that will always
come into play will be the
length of the relationship,
and how much she
loves you, or kung
gaano siya katanga.
Kung tanga siya, swerte
mo, pero consider this
a second lease, wag ka
nang umulit.”
Jenny, 28, legal
assistant
“I don’t think there’s
such a thing as
forgivable cheating.
For me lang personally.
Kasi trust is a big part
of relationships. Kaya
nga siya commitment.”
Tessa, 30, research
analyst
“As long as hindi siya “For me, may mga “Kaya kung mahal mo
in love with the other ginawa ako in parties talaga. But he has to
party. Kung purely that would seem foul work for it. Kailangan
tawag ng laman lang or for others, but my tiyagain niya, kasi back
he’s just doing it to get boyfriend and I trust to zero ulit kami.”
my attention pag busy each other, so kami Chinggay, 27, English
ako, sige, mag-uusap lang makakaalam when language tutor
kami. Pero kung may it’s cheating. Kayo lang
feelings na siya for the din ang may call for
other person, mahirap reconciliation when that
na yun.” happens.”
Analise, 24, account Patty, 25, account
executive executive
 LOUNGE
D A T I N G
The Gospel of dating
according to
Aldub
Turns out waiting
for the ‘ tamang
panahon ’ isn’t the
only love nugget we
got from the record-
breaking love team
‘K
alyeserye’
protagonists
Alden Richards
and Maine “Yaya
Dub” Mendoza might still not
be dating in real life (who
knows?), but nonetheless,
the almost-daily dose of
AlDub fever lets us conjure
up an almost-perfect love
story—“almost” because
it still isn’t real. (Or is it
already?)
Now five months running,
Eat Bulaga’s transcendental
series has not only treated
us to our fill of kilig, but as it
turns out, provided cues on
courtship. We list down a few…
1
Meet the folks
Alden had to go through
the eye of a needle—in the
form of Lola Nidora—when
he started wooing Yaya Dub.
While it’s unlikely to meet
a guardian as difficult as
the fully made-up granny,
building strong ties with her
family usually doesn’t come
off too easy but will surely
pay off in the long run.
2
It’s about the little things
We’ve come to an age where
i l l u s tr a ti o n : WA R R E N E S PE J O
it’s not just enough to buy
her the latest shoes or the
priciest chocolates. Finding
out her favorites (isaw)
or preparing something
sentimental (letters for her
eyes only) might actually
have more bearing. Put some
thought into it!
3
Carry your date
Not literally, like Yaya getting
a piggyback ride from Alden
at Lola Nidora’s birthday
party, but how he’s “carried”
things and just let her have
fun and feel loved. From
w o r d s : PAU LO AG U I LE RA
elaborate plans for your
dates to simply deciding
where to eat, your ability to
be on top of things speaks
so much about your sense of
ownership.
4
Be gentle, man
No matter how comfortable
you’ve become with her, you
must never get carried away
to the point of ditching being
a class act, which Alden has
been consistently doing
since day one. Pulling out
her chair, having her home
by the agreed time, simply
 Being ‘bae pick-up’
Now that they’re on speaking terms—
Alden, the Pambansang Bae has also
mastered the art of sweet talk, catching the
Dubsmash Queen off guard time and again.
Here are some pick-up lines he’s used so
far. To use or not to use?

A: National anthem A: Alam mo ikaw,

ka ba? para kang joke na
M: Bakit? corny.
A: Kasi ’pag M: Bakit?
naririnig kita, A: Kasi last na
napapahawak agad kita…
ako sa puso ko…
A: New year ka ba?
A: Holdaper ka ba? M: Bakit?
M: Bakit? A: Kasi, I “new
A: Alam mo kasi year” (knew you’re)
ibibigay ko sa’yo the one…
lahat, ’wag mo lang
akong saktan… A: Alam mo gusto
kitang bigyan ng
Donald Duck.
M: Bakit?
A: Para may bibe
(baby) na tayo…

treating your lady right—just

shows how high you hold her
in regard.
6
Making her laugh never
everyone watching them?
That just shows how much
they’ve grown fond of each
and gigil by overzealous fans.
In your case, being able to
stick up for her—if the going
fails other. If you and your girl gets a little rough—is enough.

5
Keep lines of
communication open
Before they even got to be
on actual speaking terms,
AlDub has made it a point to
converse through Dubsmash
or fan signs. Just like Alden
and Maine in real life, you and
your date still have so much
to learn about one another, so
invest in chit-chat.
A woman is at her most
beautiful when she flashes
those pearly whites. And you
don’t have to try very hard—
take a hint from Alden and
trust the spontaneity. Just
a thing: corny pick-up lines
only work if you look like him.
7
Build your personal
comfort zone
Notice how the two swap
inside jokes despite
already have these sweet
nothings, then you’re very
much on the right path. Pet
names are a good start.
8
Look out for her
He may not be as ripped
as the Rogelios, but Alden,
every time they are together,
always makes sure that
Maine gets out of every
immersion in one piece,
given the excessive pinching
9
Everybody loves surprises
What’s better than the
surprise itself? The satisfying
look of gasp and glee on
her face that follows, the
one that makes you heave a
sigh of incomparable relief.
That’s also where the magic
of AlDub comes in: during
moments when hindi sila
na-orient.

,
LADIES
CONFESSIONS
For the love of mamon
Good morning, dear
It was Christmas morning,
the kids were asleep and I was
lying next to my hubby in bed.
I took off my nightgown and
got on top of him. He woke
up and felt me up nude. I
immediately felt his thing get
happy. I rubbed the lips of my
vagina on his thing, pushing
my breasts into his face, trying
to suffocate him with my love.
I could feel his saliva dripping
down my cleavage. He cupped
both of my breasts with his
30 Fh M FEBRUARY 2016
hands and massaged my tits
tenderly. I was out of breath
and strength after riding him
for so long but he was still
very horny and really wanted
to be satisfied. He grabbed unto
my waist and started pounding
my pussy hard while all I
could do was grab a hold of his
back. I felt my fingertips dig
into his skin with every thrust.
I screamed after every one of
his vicious pumps until he
finally slowed down and laid
me on the bed. He finished off
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
on my face and whispered, “I
love you, hon.”
Angelica, via Facebook
we got a player
A friend and I got invited to
a party where everyone was
practically a stranger. We had
a few drinks when we started
playing ‘Truth or Dare.’ Things
heated up when my friend
provoked the guys by saying,
“There isn’t one guy in this
room that can handle my best
friend and I.” There were about
ten guys in the room. She said
she’d wager P5,000 cash if
anyone could prove her wrong.
Just after she made the bet, a
scruffy guy who looked a bit
like Russell Crowe walks in.
Another guy shouted, “Uy,
andito na pambato namin!” My
girlfriend put the money on
the table and sat the guy down.
She gave him a lap dance and
started removing his belt. She
played with his thing and
started from dry humping to
full on riding him in front of
all the other guys in the room.
This got me hot and bothered.
When the guy was done with
MODEL: MAYUMI YOKOYAMA; PhOtOgrAPhY: EJAY LEUNg OF MIDNIght BONKErS; StYLINg: DEBrA BErNALES
her, he set his eyes on me
next. I was being pakipot but
eventually had my face inches
away from his cock. I sucked
on it eagerly, and he rammed
his thing deep in my throat.
MAKE UP: JANINA DIZON; hAIr: MJ rONE; MODEL APPEArS FOr ILLUStrAtION PUrPOSE ONLY
He turned me around and
entered my wet pussy from
behind, pounding me hard,
and eventually coming on my
ass. Then I snapped back to
the party. Turns out my friend
lost. Tough bet.
Bicampam, via email
Mountain climbing
I had a crush on this guy from
work, so I decided to invite him
to one of our group’s regular
hikes. I knew that he worked
out and had a killer bod but
I always wanted to confirm
if he had enough stamina to
handle me. Nighttime came
and people started pitching
their tents, I slipped a note
in his tent, telling him not
to lock his tent’s zipper if he
wanted me to visit him later
ALwAyS hErE
for some fun. My friends fell
tO LIStEN, asleep and I sneaked outside
LADIES! to his tent only to find out
that the bastard locked it! I
couldn’t believe the guy had
Keep sending the nerve to reject me. While
your escapades to I was stomping around, one
fhmladiesconfessions of my friends overheard my
@gmail.com or frustrations. He was still
Facebook.com/fhm.ph pretty groggy and I was
really pissed and wasn’t really
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
‘I could feel his saliva
dripping down my
cleavage. he cupped
both of my breasts and
fingered my tits tenderly’
thinking straight so I asked
him not so subtly, “gusto
mong mag-sex?” Surprisingly,
we were soon kissing and
haphazardly taking our clothes
off. I rode him inside the tent,
being careful not to move
around too much just in case
someone might see. He told me
he was close to coming after
a few minutes so I gave him a
dirty blowjob and swallowed
so there wouldn’t be any mess.
While he was recovering, I
asked him, “O, ‘di ba ang sarap
ko?” he answered, “Oo, sobra.”
I told him to get out of my tent
before anyone sees, and he
did. The next day, my crush
approached me and said he
forgot to leave his tent open,
and asked what I wanted to do
www.fhm.com.ph
with him last night. I shouted,
“Wala!” and stormed away.
That bastard will never know
what he missed that night.
Fuji, via Facebook
A blast from the past
There’s this guy I’ve known
since first year college. I
hated him at first. He was so
arrogant, narcissistic, self-
serving, and he also smelled
funny. I never paid any
attention to him even though
we were both part of the same
college org. Interestingly
enough, we both graduated
and happened to find ourselves
working for the same company
in the same department, and
since both of us didn’t know
anyone else, we were brought
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
together by circumstance. I got
to know him a little better and
MEANwhILE, my first impressions of him
IN LADy
PArtS I.Q.
changed, and throughout the
years he seemed to have finally
figured out how to properly
take a bath. One time while we
were at the photocopy room, he
heaviest
hinaharap
suddenly took my hand, and
at first I was like WTF? But he
The unbroken looked straight into my eyes
Guinness title for
largest natural
and kissed me. My first instinct
was to push him away, but it
human breasts felt good so I let him reach into
since 2000, belong my blouse, exploring what was
to Annie Hawkins- underneath my clothes. No one
Turner. With an has ever touched me so roughly
over-the-nipple down there, it all felt so
measurement of exhilarating. I pulled down his
70 inches—plotting pants and started guiding his
her pups, by penis into my skirt. He pumped
American bra into me vigorously, while I
sizing estimates,
was sitting on a box of scratch
at 48V.
papers. He told me he was close,
but I didn’t want him to come
inside me, so I gave him a hand
job while he flicked my clitoris.
I was careful to catch all of his
cum with my hands, which I
then wiped on some bond paper
I lying around. We cleaned up
and promised not to talk about
it again, but a part of me really
wants one more go soon, ha ha!
Tiff, via Facebook
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 Fh M 31
ACCESS
F E B R U A R Y
2 0 1 6

YO U R M O N T H LY V I P PAS S

01
M US IC

No virgin
like
Madonna
57 YEARS OLD AND STILL
JUICING IT—AND FINALLY STAGING
A CONCERT HERE FOR THE
REBEL HEART TOUR. A PROFILE
OF THE WOMAN RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE SExUAL AWAKENING OF
GENERATIONS

ViRgin
1982-1985
Madonna came out blazing with an upbeat
disco pop sound and a fashion statement
to match: her bleached hair and fishnet
outfits inspired a whole generation
of impressionable young women that
inspired a whole generation of men to
seek out these women. In 1985, Playboy
and Penthouse magazines dug up nude
photos of Madonna taken in 1978, when
she worked as a model. Madonna couldn’t
care less—she was a worldwide superstar
and that other pop star girl, Cyndi Lauper,
wasn’t. Still, she got awards and Billboard number months). By this time, she had also ditched
Hits (to secretly listen to): "Borderline," one hits. By the end of the ’80s, she the fishnets and sugar pop for a stronger,
"Material Girl," "Like A Virgin" released a greatest hits album, Immaculate more sultry image and a more adult sound,
Conception. practically ensuring the loyalty and love of
i m m A c U l At E B l o n d Hits (to secretly listen to): "Papa Don't all gay men, who must have clapped wildly
Preach," "Like A Prayer," "Express Yourself" when she won a Golden Globe for portrayal
Am B iti o n of the wife of a Chilean dictator Evita Peron
1986-1991
Between ’86 and ’91, she went on two E R o ti c A in Evita.
world tours and stunned fans and critics 1992-1997 Hits (to secretly listen to): "Fever," "Take a
with her provocative live performances, Her erotica phase certainly constitutes her Bow"
including depictions of masturbation on- most controversial years with the release
stage, as well as gropey co-dancers. With of a book aptly named Sex, which featured dRownEd woRld
“Like A Prayer,” she struck a nerve among erotic photographs of the singer with several 1998-2002
the pious religious for using Catholic other models, porn actors, even rapper This is the phase when she tapped into her
symbols in highly sexualized contexts. Vanilla Ice (whom she dated for a few disco-club roots and churned out a few club
 02
SOU N DTRACK S

Nix these on
your V-day
playlist
IF YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO
ONE ON THIS THE RED SEASON,
THESE SONGS WILL DESTROY
YOU. CAUTION, A HANDFUL OF
PIANO MEN AHEAD…

I Miss You Blink 182

Killer one-liner: Will you come
home and stop this pain tonight?

When I Was Your Man Bruno Mars

Killer one-liner: Same bed but it feels just a
little bit bigger now...

H ow To S ave A L i fe The Fray

Killer one-liner: Where did I go wrong? I lost a
friend, somewhere along in the bitterness…

The Man Who Can’t Be Moved The Script

Killer one-liner: I’m not broke, I’m just a broken
hearted man...

collaborators like Britney Spears, Pharell

WORDS : ANNE MARI RONQUILLO
hits. No stranger to controversy, Madonna’s
video of “What It Feels Like For A Girl” was
banned by both MTV and VH1 for depicting
Williams, and Justin Timberlake.
She released her ninth album, Confessions
on a Dance Floor, earning her a Grammy
and another successful world tour that
featured elaborate disco-themed props and
well-choreographed performances. In 2008,
she released her 11th album, Hard Candy.
Hits (to secretly listen to): “Hung Up,"
“Get Together," “4 Minutes“
m d n A + R E B E l H E A Rt
2009-present
In 2012, Madonna performed at the
Superbowl halftime show, which is
regarded as the most watched in its history.
She released MDNA the same year and
went on tour. In classic Madge fashion, her
Boston Augustana
Killer one-liner: You don't know me,
and you don't even care, oh yeah...
I Can’t Make You Love Me Bon Iver
Killer one-liner: You can’t make your heart feel,
something it won’t...
Leave Your Lover Sam Smith
Killer one-liner: Don’t have direction,
I’m just rolling down this road...
Chasing Pavements Adele
Killer one-liner: But if I tell the world, I’ll never
say enough, ’cause it was not said to you…
WORDS : JOHN PAULO AGUILLERA

violence and crime. In addition to that,
her film Swept Away (directed by her new
husband Guy Ritchie) bombed at the box
office.
Hits (to secretly listen to): “Music,”
“Beautiful Stranger,” “American Pie”
R E-i nVE nti o n
2003-2008
She should have aged by now, but she
wasn’t showing any signs of it, and was
in fact stealing youth from younger
performances depicted her usual servings
of sex, nudity, and political statements.
She was named a top earner for the year
by Forbes magazine. Madonna has since
been working with different artists
of the Millennial generation such as
Miley Cyrus and Macklemore. Her
thirteenth album, Rebel Heart features
collaborations with DJs and artists
from electronica to hip-hop.
Hits (to secretly listen to): “Give
Me All Your Luvin”
Heaven Knows Orange and Lemons
Killer one-liner: I should’ve clipped her wings
and made her mine for all eternity...
Fix You Coldplay
Killer one-liner: When you feel
so tired, but you can’t sleep...
I’m Still Here Vertical Horizon
Killer one-liner: If you were right and I was
wrong, why are you the one who’s gone?
 03 F I LM
It’s a (movie) date!
FLIcks, and who to watch It wIth

It's a plot spun off Hunger Games and Younger sis. The 5th Wave
THE 5TH WAVE Independence Day. Four alien will take her juvenile mind
Starring: Chloë Grace attacks have devastated the earth, off finding her dream boy
Moretz, Nick Robinson, and Cassie Sullivan (Chloe Grace and instead teach her a thing
Alex Roe, Ron Livingston, Moretz) prepares for the fifth wave—the most or two about responsibility,
Liev Schreiber destructive and crucial alien offense—with the family, and surviving the
Director: J Blakeson aim of saving her younger brother, Sammy. apocalypse. Kind of...

Eddie Redmayne stars as Einar Wegener, who Your best gal pal. Because
THE DANISH undergoes a controversial and revolutionary she won’t question your
GIRL gender reassignment operation to become Lili “curiosity” about seeing this
Starring: Eddie Elbe. But what's controversial and revolutionary supposedly Oscar-nabbing,
Redmayne, Alicia Vikander, about that?! The movie is set in the 1930s, when humane, and stunning biopic.
Matthias Schoenaerts it was exactly that.
Director: Tom Hoooper

ZOOLANDER 2 Stiller and Wilson are now afterthoughts of the Your younger utol. Because
Starring: Ben Stiller, modeling industry. However, the two are hurled the film is key to close that
Owen Wilson, Penelope once again into the world of international age gap. He’ll laugh at the
Cruz, Kristine Wiig, modeling as undercover agents tasked to same things you laughed at
Will Ferrell, Benedict stop the assassination of world-famous pop about Zoolander before.
Cumberbatch; musicians (which explains Bieber’s appearance in
Director: Ben Stiller the trailer).

HOW TO BE How to be Single celebrates the bright side of Your mother. Because then
being unattached. At the center of this rom- she gets to revisit her youthful
SINGLE com are a group of bachelorettes seeking the single days—but with you on
Starring: Leslie Mann, perfect partners in between sextings, one-night watch. Uhm, we take that
Dakota Johnson, Alison stands, flings, and hook-ups. back...watching a film like this
Brie, Rebel Wilson, Lily with your mother might be a
Collins; bit too awkward.
Director: Christian Ditter

WORDS : ABBY MENDOZA

The first Steve Jobs biopic was a dud; this The girl you’ve been dying to
STEVE JOBS might be the ticket. Prior to the launch of ask out. Because given the
Starring: Michael the iMac, Jobs had to battle his ego to solve weight of the subject matter,
Fassbender, Kate internal conflicts in his company that resulted to the film will pave the way for
Winslet, Seth Rogen, his clashing with his confidant Steve Wozniak, you and your prospective lady
Jeff Daniels; his family, and his passion to innovate. Now let's love to discuss and perhaps
Director: Danny Boyle see that ego at work! debate a bit.

04
GaM e s

Playing Emily is Away Undertale Life is Strange Gone Home

WORDS : ASH MAHINAY

A visual novel told entirely
with your through early 2000s style
chat windows. This tale of
Set in the aftermath of a Have you ever wanted Gone Home is about 21-
Human-Monster war, you
play a child who, in an
to play a teenage girl
navigating high school?
year old Kaitlin visiting her
father's inherited mansion.

feelings a relationship with a girl

(Emily AKA emerly35) is
sure to take you back to
thIs Month’s
the days when Internet chat
rotatIon: was, well, exciting.
eMotIonaL tItLes
Astroboy-esque manner,
can talk to and befriend
the surprisingly intelligent
monsters, rather than killing
them mindlessly.
How about if you had the
power to rewind time too?
That’s better! Max Caulfield
has visions of an impending
disaster but first she’s got
teen problems to fix.
The first thing she sees:
A note on the door from
her sister saying don’t go
looking for answers. You
then explore for more
answers in everday objects.

34 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

AC C ESS
STICK HIM IN A
SUPER-MAGNET THROW HIM INTO
Disarm him of his OUTER SPACE
weapons with a big Nothing survives the
magnet used in junk vacuum in space. Direct
yards. Yes, the ones you him at the sun to burn him
see in movies. to a crisp.

DEATH BY MAN-
TEARS
Make him watch Artax’s
death scene
in The Neverending Story.
(see: pubescent kid trying
to pull up a horse while
a magical swamp tries to
swallow it).

05
movi E s

How to kill
Deadpool CAST HIM AS THIS MIGHT
EvEr thought how a sElf- A DOCTOR IN JUST DO IT:
hEaling charactEr coulD bE GREY’S ANATOMY KULAM
killED off? hErE arE somE Everyone on Grey's A trip to your local
Anatomy dies. Shonda mangkukulam can
Rimes will always find undo the lab mishaps
a way. on Deadpool. Then
you can go crazy with
the ways you can kill
him.

CHOP HIM UP
Borrow the laser grid trap

WORDS: ANNE MARI RONQUILLO; ILLUSTRATION: LOUIS ARENAS;

from Resident Evil's The
Hive to dice Deadpool. BOUT HIM
Remember to scatter the AGAINST BROCK DROP HIM
pieces after! LESNAR IN A PIT OF

Artist based the drawing/s on the character from Deadpool

GIVE HIM THE
SILENT TREATMENT
If everyone ignores him,
he doesn't exist.
Brock Lesnar did the SCARABS
impossible by defeating Even those blood-
the undefeated: The sucking, flesh-eating
Undertaker. The odds will black critters scared
not favor Deadpool on the hell out of
this one. Brendan Fraser.

thE foul-
mouthED
mErcEnarY
comEs alivE on
thE big scrEEn
on fEb 10
 MOST L I K ELY G O I NG TO W I N
Best Supporting
Actor
Sylvester
Stallone in
Creed
He may be wrinkled and
talk weird, but Rocky
can still charm the pants
off of sports fans and
moviegoers alike!
Who’s most likely to
upset this win? Mark
Ruffalo’s temperamental
Boston Globe journalist
in Spotlight.
06 NOT A CH A N C E IN H E LL
fhm AwArds Best Picture
Mad Max: Fury
And the Oscar goes to... Road
The male population
adored the flick for
The AcAdemy AwArds Are here And our well- its hot cast, but the
reseArched-crAckpoT-predicTions of who’ll Academy is an award-
win (And who’ll be biTching come The AfTer- giving body that favors
tear-jerkers over
pArTy) hAve been sorTed inTo A meTer for An
testosterone.
unpreTenTious consuming experience Which film is most
likely going to win?
The Revenant leads
with 12 nods. A clear
indicator of favorability.

WORDS : ANTON D. UMALI

Best Animated Best Actress in a
Feature Leading Role
Inside Out Brie Larson in
Looking back, 2015 was Room
bursting at the seams Larson delivers a
with SO. MUCH. FEELS. disturbing (Read:
It only seems appropriate winning) performance as
that Joy, Sadness, Anger, a kidnap and rape victim
Digust, and Fear get the who must raise her child
recognition they deserve. within the confines of her
Which film is most captor’s makeshift prison.
likely to upset this Who’s most likely
win? Filmmaker and to upset this win?
weird connoisseur Charlotte Rampling’s
Charlie Kaufman’s stop ultra-restrained portrayal
motion animation sorrow- of a wife coming to grips
fest, Anomalisa. with her hubby’s dark
past in 45 Years.
Best Supporting Best Actor in a Best Director
Actress Leading Role George Miller for
Kate Winslet in Leonardo Mad Max: Fury
Steve Jobs DiCaprio in The Road
Whether she’s baring Revenant Not only did he
her ample breasts or not, Growing an insane direct cinema’s most
she’s a scene-stealer. amount of facial hair adrenaline-fueled,
And as Steve Jobs’ and wrestling a bear visually titillating car
marketing head Joanna might just ensure victory chase, but he did it
Hoffman, she kills it. for the Academy’s without sacrificing plot.
Who’s most likely most notorious Oscar- Who’ll probably win?
to upset this win? panderer. Alejandro G. Iñárritu, who
Sexy newcomer Alicia Who’s most likely to seems to be a favorite
Vikander, who gets her upset this win? Eddie for his bold choices when
heart stomped on when Redmayne’s convincing it comes to his craft
she realizes her husband trans-pioneer in The (FYI: The Revenant was
is transgendered in The Danish Girl. shot purely with natural
Danish Girl. lighting). Mind blown!

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 37

 sT
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PHOTOGRAPHY ria regino of faT caT sTudio INTERVIEW john paulo aguilera STYLING Badj genaTo MAKEUP janina diZon HAIR julius villanueva
 i n The pinoy pop scene,
T im e
y o u r p arenTs’
ly
r T ic u l a r
w a s a T im e — p a h iT s o n g s
had
There e w e s T
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s o m e T im
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e r f o r m ed on no
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sh im e w h e
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Ther
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er.
aBouT h

your moTher mighT also Tell you T haT T here was

one dance group who was The mosT sosyal of T hem

all, and T hey called T hemselves The hoTlegs. They

supposedly did real dancing, The kind of dance

people go To arT school for. iT was led By a cerT ain

douglas nierras and your moTher would mosT likely

T alk exciTedly aBouT him, T oo.

SPECIAL THANKS TO mr. johnny manahan of sTar magic, janice damasco & mama Bear of pBB
dawn chang
dawn chang
The Hotlegs still exist, and they
are still the most sosyal dance group.
They continue to hone talent, and
once you’re known as a Hotlegs talent,
you’re made as a dancer effectively for
life. One of the Hotlegs’ accomplished
alumnus is this month’s cover muse,
Dawn Chang.
A few years after leaving the group,
Dawn briefly stayed in Australia
(looking for her real father). That gave
her the chance to showcase and share
her talent outside the country. But
the biggest break she got to showcase
her moves in came unexpected: in
the form of a yellow two-storey house
“owned” by some omniscient dude only
identified as “Kuya.” Dawn finished
as the Fourth Big Placer on Pinoy
Big Brother: 737. Soon after, she
became known as the prime dancer
of the batch, and more, as seen in
her numerous TV appearances and
regular stints (It’s Showtime, Ang
Probinsyano).
Now, Dawn has the dance floor all
to herself. She has fared well under the
watchful eyes of Kuya and the whole
viewing populace as a Housemate. Now
we give her an entirely new stage to
play in.
We were the ones grimacing in pain
dancing
while watching you execute those e you to take
buwis-buhay poses. What parts of But what drov
seriously? kaming
your body are most painful after the e na wala na
shoot? There was a tim kayang mag-enroll,
na
pera, hindi ko llet
Yung paa ko actually, kasi toe shoes
ag sa-s to p na ako. My ba w
so m sh e’s no
siya. Matagal na akong ‘di nagtu-toe Basas—
shoes. The last time I wore those was teacher, Venus ud io in BF Homes,
ry St
with Symmet n’t stop.
five years ago, nung active pa akong bi niya, ‘No, do
mag-ballet. Pero I guess as a dancer Paranaque—sa holar.’ Sinagot niya
a sc
I’ll make you oes ko
naman, as a ballerina, bumabalik
ha t— co st um es, yung toe sh spend
lang yung feeling. Masakit, pero la al — I di dn ’t
al-mah
magaganda naman yung shots kaya na pagkamah Tapo s yun, dire-
av o.
happy naman ako. a single cent
You made a name inside the PBB diretso na.
House as a former member of ‘Dire-diretso na,’ indeed. Now you
the popular group Hotlegs and not only dance professionally, you
eventually, because of those viral also teach dance. When did you go
‘Love Me Like You Do’ videos. Could from being a student of the craft to
you give us a brief background on being the one at the helm?
your dancing career? Nung nawalan kami ng pera, that’s
I actually started out with ballet. My the time rin na tumigil din ako sa
mom asked me if I wanted to do it, school. Nung halos kinupkop na ako
sabi ko, ‘Sige, okay lang. I’ll try.’ I ng dance teacher ko, I was dancing
was already 15 back then, so that was every single day, as in walang
actually a super late start. I had no humpay. In two years, nahabol ko
idea about proper training, na may yung time na sana nag-start na ako.
classes pala, kaya I said yes. Pero Gumaling ako—naging flexible ako,
nung bata pa ako, mahilig talaga gumanda yung form ko, nagkaroon
akong mag-perform sa school. As ako ng linya. After two years, I
in kahit ano, basta performance sa became an assistant dance teacher,
school. Siyempre mainly dance, pero I then after only a few months, I had
also did acting and modeling. my own class.
What do you think dancing has
taught you? How significant was it
in making who you are right now?
Everything. Sa dance ako unang
kumita ng pera—I was able to treat
my family out, to give back to them.
Because of it, I was able to do a lot
of things: I was able to travel, and
anywhere I go I can just dance,
maghahanap lang ako ng studio o
classes. Kadikit ko na talaga siya.
Dancing is my bread and butter.
Traveling to da
nce means you’
the chance to sh ve had
are the floor w
people from ot ith
her countries.
would you com How
pare foreign da
with Filipinos ncers
?
Westerners are
very competitiv
guess Pinoys ka e. I
si are very hum
may pagkamah ble,
iyai
and attended cla n. I’ve danced
sses in New
York, Singapor
e, Hong Kong,
Australia—pina and
ka-
confident ang m dominant and
ga taga-New Yo
Yung mga danc rk.
ers doon, meron
na, ‘mas magal g vibe
ing ako sa’yo.’
their way to in Like it’s
timidate you.

Good thing you weren’t discouraged

by the way how things were there...
I realized that’s how you gain
confidence, pag nakita mong medyo
tagilid yung mga kasabayan mo, I
tell myself, ‘Ah, mas magaling ako
sa kanya,’ kahit hindi ka sigurado.
Malaking difference ang nadadala ng
confidence.
That said, do you remember the
biggest compliment a foreign dancer
has given you?
It wasn’t the biggest praise really,
pero it meant a lot. Back then, my
former dance group [Provocative]
was about to perform in Sydney.
Biglang nagkaroon ako ng offer to
be a brand ambassador of an airline.
Nakapag-yes na ako dun sa isa,
pero siyempre nandun sa’kin yung,
‘Brand ambassador ‘to eh, malaking
gig.’ Kaya lang pag tinuloy ko yun,
that would say something about my
professionalism. Maybe as a way to
acknowledge my decision, nasabi lang
nung manager namin na, ‘If you’re
not one of, you’re the best dancer in
my group.’ Na malaking bagay sa’kin
kasi ibang country nga, mataas yung
standards and super perfectionists sila
doon. Lumambot talaga yung puso ko,
pero ginamit ko yun para mas maging
confident. Di ko siya ginamit para
magyabang or anything, kasi for me,
there will always be someone better.
You can’t be the best.
 dawn chang

The most cliché of all clichés about

dancers is them being good in bed.
But what do you think are the other
pros of having a dancer as a partner?
Mas expressive kami, kasi nga we
freely express ourselves through
dance. Speaking for myself, aside
from being very expressive, very
affectionate din ako. May halo pang
entertainment kung minsan, so,
flavorsome! Ha ha!
Most of your performances require
sexy outfits, which you have been
able to carry well. But have you
always been comfortable showing off
skin, not just in dancing?
Siyempre nung bata-bata pa ako,
hindi. Now, I appreciate my body
because I work hard for it. Hindi man
ako ganun ka-strict mag-diet, pero
sobra ako kung mag-workout. And of
course the compliments you get from
people... Kasi there’s nothing wrong
naman showing a little bit of skin, as
long as you carry it well. Wag lang
magmumukhang tacky. For me, you
can show a little bit of skin as long as
it’s still classy. And siyempre, you still
act like a lady.
Aside from your ‘Love Me Like You
Do’ dance videos, there was also this
particular video of you clad in sheer
lingerie that went viral recently.
What do you think does that say
about the local online community?
I guess because society tells us what
we should be, kaya kapag may nakita
tayong parang, ‘Hmmm...’ it creates a
lot of buzz. Pero wag ka, ang daming
gumagawa ng ganun, although maybe
privately. And I fully respect people na
ayaw gawin yun, or yung beliefs are
against it. But I also expect them to
respect me, my choices, and my beliefs
in life.

bout you on
mments a t.
M a n y a k co e prevalen
ia are quit
social med handle these?
ts,
How do you ga ganung commen
d am i n g m or e. K as i
Sa ym
ther me an
it doesn’t bo the day, I don’t know
of probably
at the end and that’s
ar e, lves.
who th ey ing themse
of express in a good way. I
their way ot
ely, it’s n , then
Unfortunat oing to get affected
, if I’ m g y u n g
mean naman
talo. Kahit -express ng
ako yung d i n ag -e
mga taong
h in aman
m su re g anun din n as
n il a , I’ h a! M
sarili nila, ha
amdaman ro nila. Tao lang
ang narar u
le lang sig
naha-hand
ta y o .
naman
dawn chang
On the other hand, women have
openly expressed admiration towards
you, raving about how you’d been true
to yourself when you were inside the
PBB House.
Masaya ako, kasi nung nasa Bahay
ako sobrang dami kong bashers, as in
mas marami kaysa sa fans. Ngayong
nandito na ako sa outside world, siguro
parang looking back, naiintindihan na
nila na, ‘Ah, kaya pala ganun siya kasi
kailangan.’ Siyempre sa PBB, matira
matibay dun. Kapag ‘pabebe’ ka dun,
ma-e-evict ka talaga.
Not even a hint of pretension?
Para kasing dagdag-trabaho pa sa’yo
yun kapag you filter your words.
Wala talaga akong panahon sa ganun.
Tsaka siguro ako yung tipong hindi
ko kayang itago kapag nabubwisit o
naiirita ako. Tatahimik lang ako, pero
‘pag sobra na, kailangan na talaga
siyang ilabas.
Was there something you didn’t
expect upon entering Bahay ni Kuya?
I never expected na ganun ako
magiging ka-taray or ka-competitive.
Hindi kasi talaga ako ganun. Every
week may task, aside from the daily
tasks, tapos ako lagi ang leader, so
lahat talaga ng pressure nasa akin.
I was asking myself, ‘Bakit ba ako?
dali mong i-divert yung attention
mo to somewhere or something para
makalimot. Cellphone, Internet, call
Pwede bang hindi naman ako para a friend, go shopping, get a drink,
maka-relax naman ako nang kaunti?’ whatever. Sa Bahay ni Kuya, wala yun
Ako pa naman yung tipong when it lahat—you have to face it on your own.
comes to putting in work, talagang Of course there’s Kuya; but you cannot
I give my best. Lalo na’t nakasalalay turn your back on whatever issue you’re
sa’yo yung mga Housemates—like facing. Kahit ayaw mo o mahina ang
yung pagkain namin, syempre loob mo, kailangan mo siyang harapin.
ayokong magutom yung mga kasama And dun mo mare-rerealize na hindi ka
ko. naman pala mamamatay pag ginawa
How difficult was it to adjust to mo yun. Mas magiging strong ka pa
suddenly living with strangers under at lalong lalawak yung pag-intindi mo.
one roof? Tapos you have to earn everything; we
Mahirap, kasi siyempre titimplahin mo don’t have money inside the house.
sila, kailangan extra clean ka sa mga discovered
hat have you
gamit mo. Actually kaya ako medyo Ultimately, w e w ho le
lf from th
na-pressure kasi first week pa lang about yourse
wala akong gamit—isa ako dun sa mga experience? ive, as in
that competit
hindi nabigyan. Tapos kailangan kong That I could be o. Ts aka na-
o sumusuk
manghiram ng underwear sa taong yung hindi ak ys ically,
rance ko—ph
hindi ko naman kilala! As in, di ba?! test yung endu na mentally.
All of us are wondering, despite emotionally,
lalo
ng
yung wala ka
the presence of cameras in every Nakakabaliw ie nd , an d you have
fr
nook and cranny of the House, what nakakausap na , not knowing if they
ones
does being in that situation do to a to make new
person? ge nu in e or not. FHM
ar e
For me, ang laking personality
development ang nagagawa ng pagtira Dawn would like to thank Ketonic Diet Ph, Finessa
sa Bahay ni Kuya. Let’s say there’s a Aesthetica, Coach Chris Martin Bond, Supah Shop,
problem. Dito sa outside world, ang Shnukum Manila, The Urban Hour, and Hazel Asuncion.
dawn chang
dawn chang
dawn chang
 Love
Go the extra mile to show her
your love this Valentine’s Day.

Take Rogin-E daily.

MARK YOUR CALENDAR Ifstarted

you haven’t already
preparing for
February 14, get on it. At times, it can be difficult to make time for your significant
other. But if there was ever a time to put in the extra effort for her, it’s this month, on
that date. The man on top is necessarily a man who can give his all for his woman,
especially on Valentine’s Day. Spare no expense and pull out all the stops. Take Rogin-E,
a male multivitamin with a unique combination of Ginseng for endurance, Deanol for
potency, and Royal Jelly for vitality.

AWB-1980861512
dawn chang
 b e a

n .
30 m i
in
Impress your lady and your folks wIth
thIs four-course meal you can whIp up
In your almost-bare kItchen, wIth your
lIttle—to non-exIstent—cookIng skIlls, In
just under 30. It’s tIme you reIgn In that
part of your man cave, mIster

W O R D S
Pong Castillo & Roselle MiRanda
R E C I P E S & F O O D S T Y L I N G
Roselle MiRanda
P H O T O G R A P H Y
KuRt alvaRez
 .
5—min
Sa l a d
corn,
bacon, d salad
n
& almo

1 A nonstick frying pan avoids

bacon delays over burnt meat (no
need for oil change), and
1pack 200-gram evenly cooks thin slices such
as bacon. Cook your bacon
corn over medium heat. Pat off the
1/2 cup, drained excess oil using paper towels
then set aside.
almond
1/4 cup slivered 2 Fresh, crispy lettuce saves
you time from cutting and
1 bunch green lettuce peeling because you can
1 bunch red lettuce practically just tear it off by
hand. Top with bite-sized
1/2 cup Caesar dressing bacon, almonds, corn, and
drizzle with dressing. Be
generous, no judgments here.
tIp
To keep greens from being
soggy: Dump into the middle
of a kitchen towel, fold to
enclose. Pull towel from both
ends, spin, and open. Easy.

KEY
MA N-KITCHEN
TO O L
salad bowl
(AKA your popcorn bowl)

58 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 kItchen hack
KEY Yes, you can “bake”
MAN-KITCH EN a steak! Roasting
TO O L in a toaster oven
cast Iron pan results in even
or an cooking–without
resulting to a
oven toaster smoky room. Just
remember to
preheat the oven
until hot, and use a
meat thermometer.

tIp
Get steaks at least 1-inch
thick so there’s less
chance of overcooking
your meat.

1 Season steaks generously with salt,

ground black pepper, and dried thyme on
steak both sides.

.
2 (280 grams each) 1-inch

i n
2 Heat a cast iron pan over medium-high

m
thick New York Strip

—
10
k
heat. Add oil, and swirl to coat. Once oil

a
2 tablespoons canola oil

e
begins to simmer, add steaks and garlic.

St
1 teaspoon dried thyme Remove garlic once golden brown.
leaves
3 Cook steak until underside is browned,
6 garlic cloves, unpeeled, flip and cook until browned as the other
lightly smashed side. Continue cooking until at the
desired doneness. Top with butter, and -basted
2 tablespoons butter
a r l Ic butter ak)
let melt, basting until done. &g ste
Salt and ground black ( t h y m ew y o r k s t r Ip
ne
pepper 4 Let steak rest at least 5 minutes before
carving and serving, which by the time is
still cooking.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 59

 KEY

.
3—min
M AN- KI T C H EN

n
T OOL

m o
mIcrowave oven

Sa l
(AKA the greatest
invention ever)

f Il l e t
almon t
Q u Ic k s a l m o n d c r u s
w It h a n

salmon 1 Season salmon fillet with salt

and ground black pepper to taste.
1 1-1/2-inch thick fillet,
Brush with mustard, then sprinkle
bones and scales removed
with almonds. Pat down as
needed. Place on a microwaveable
almonds dish.
1/4 cup slivered
2 Wet 2 paper towels. Lightly
1 tablespoon prepared cover salmon with wet paper
mustard towels. This will allow fast cooking
time without burning the fish.
Salt and ground black Microwave on High for 1 minute.
pepper, to taste Remove paper towels, and serve
immediately. It’s best hot!

tIp #1
See white stuff on your
salmon? Stop cooking!
That’s a sign you’re about to
overcook (or might already
have overcooked) your fish.

tIp #2
Ask your suki to descale and
remove the bones from your
salmon fillet to save you time
and the hassle (Scales fly!).

60 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

 tIp
Indulge.
Be generous with the
Nutella and
powdered sugar.

— m i n .
10
e r t
D e ss l l a &
nute wontons
strawb
erry

nutella 1 Lay a wonton wrapper on a cutting board.

Drop a teaspoon of Nutella in the middle.
1/4 cup
Top with half a strawberry. Wet edges of the
wonton with water with your finger, then fold
strawberrIes over wet edges of the wonton until closed.
Repeat with remaining wonton wrappers.
4 pieces, hulled, quartered

2 Heat enough oil in a deep frying pan over

8 large square wonton low heat to reach about 1 inch up the sides.
wrappers Lightly fry the wontons until both sides are
lightly golden brown, about 1 minute. Drain
Oil for frying on paper towels. Sprinkle with powdered
sugar before devouring.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 61

 A VISUAL HISTORY
as we stand on the cusp of
virtual reality possibly becoming
mainstream at last–thanks to things
like oculus rift, htc vive, playstation
vr, etc.–let us look back at the illustrious
time-wasting history of the viral video.
ever faster internet connections
(yes, even here in our technological
backwater), smartphones, tablets,
and other gadgets have made moving WORDS
pictures the preferred vector for viral ash
content–when was the last time you’ve Mahinay
heard anyone say “viral photo” anyway?

YouTube was partly inspired Once only surreptitiously

by one of the co-founders
questioning why it was
so hard to find a video of
Janet Jackson’s infamous
BL O O PE R S “wardrobe malfunction”
during the 2004 Superbowl.
When the tube launched
in 2006, that need was
confirmed by a lot of the
early viral content—being
things we wanted to see
again after their fleeting
half-lives on our televisions.
In fact, after the death of
early social media sites
such as Friendster and
Multiply, YouTube is almost
the only place to find
evidence of yesterdays’ pop
culture.
S CAND AL
shared on our mobile
phones (“P’re, pa-Bluetooth
naman!”), scandal videos
had their brief moment
in the sun whenever they
got uploaded to YouTube.
Back then, ‘scandal’ was
synonymous with ‘sexy
jollibee scandal
time’, but as it got harder
It’s obviously been
and harder to keep them
taken down so here’s a
uploaded for any reasonable
picture of sad Jollibee
amount of time, the term
instead.
scandal transformed into
unsavory public transactions
caught on tape…err
cellphone. The growing
accessibility of smartphones
with decent camera
quality also contributed
to its growth the past few
years—it’s much easier
to propagate a scandal if
the participants aren’t a
blurry mess of pixels after Michael Fajatin
all. Social justice warriors has no idea what
he’s doing
claim keeping these videos
this is news
online and accessible
violates rights to privacy Testament to this clip’s
and all that–especially staying power is that
once the subjects have everyone loaded it up
come out as repentant and again when news of
all–but it mostly just proves his leaving GMA came
that we’re all into a little out last year.
schadenfreude*.

2005 2006

Way before Dubsmash, we just had plain

dubs from enterprising Pinoys doing the
thriller inMates
exact opposite: layering vocals over videos
MJ FAN CLUB
of famous movie scenes. The amount of
Before Bilibid inmates
effort in doing so will make you wonder, goes live!
with their HDTV’s, we
“Wow, daming oras.” But then you look
DU BS in the mirror and realize how much time
had these guys.
you’ve spent watching these often-multi-
part series. This type of viral has been
relatively dormant lately, perhaps because
YouTube is much more fussy about
copyrighted content nowadays.
OF THE VIRAL VIDEO
robert
Market! Market! carabUena
scandal vs MMda
sabUnUtan street Fighter ricky lo oFFends
Before Facebook-shaming The tables have been anne hathaway
became commonplace, turned, though, with all yoU know lea?
YouTube was the place the dashcam videos of Doesn’t Mr. Lo know
for disgusting human jiggy Manicad erring MMDA officers you should never
behavior. the waterbender we get nowadays. ask girls about their
claUdine este... weight?
barretto says oMg! nahulog ang
“pUtang ina” like ilog sa bata!
we all do when
we slip
live proFanity
Except it’s good for
5 million views when
she does it!
jiggy Manicad
thinks yoU
alan k sings his are all shit–
literally bUlalo hindi
heart…teeth oUt
aMalayer? Mga tae kayo cUp noodles!
hello world
oMg!? Freudian slip? beast Mode
We like how everyone
The bright spot that If it were a bulaluhan
on set couldn’t
i’M janina san take it either. can be gleaned from we’d understand his
MigUel and… videos like these is rage, but starting with
oh My god…i’M that people are way the letter B is all that is
sorry, ha ha! more wary of being has in common with a
poise recorded nowadays, bakery…
She won though! at least.

2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014

benjo at ang gost payter christopher away dahil princess

batalyong cartoons lao was not sa dota sarah
pitbUll Featuring a dick inForMed trash talk patatas
bisaya gid pic that has evaded baha With bonus property Breathing new life into
Running rooster! Youtube censorbots to Poor depth perception destruction! an old classic–in the
Kicking fish! this very day. is a thing, people. worst way perhaps.

SI NGIN G V IDEO S
T RE N D V IDE O S
Perhaps a more productive
use of our countrymen’s
vocal blessings compared
with dubbing old animé.
Ellen Degeneres’s discovery
of a then-girly Charice
Pempengco on YouTube
showed off the power
of going viral in the real
world when the diminutive
belter got invited to her
show, and a musical career
followed. Other stars have
been launched since
then, but she’ll always be
remembered as the girl who
was discovered on YouTube
first–and singing videos will
always be a Pinoy favorite
on the tube.
hey, baby!
artists do it, too
By 2010, checking on
YouTube had become Witness comic creator
Gerry Alanguilan
a daily habit, and trends
began to form from sharing his ultimate
“come here” face with
its primordial soup of
randomness. This is where all of us. Why? We
don’t know either
we got many versions of the
same video–some end up
as decent efforts, some are
embarrassingly bad takes,
and some versions are so
well-made (or bad) that they
transcend even the original
source materials. The
idea of viral videos being
purposely-created content charice
started becoming familiar peMpengco
with the advent of these singing whitney rin and roX
copycat creations. Why hoUston dUet
else would you make your sUper pipes Not all singing acts fly
own ‘Harlem Shake’ video Now she definitely solo as proven by this
otherwise? does not have nothing. good-looking duo.

2005 2006 2007 2008 2009

Recently, Facebook has

facilitated the viral success
of another social media
network: Vine. Basically
video Instagram before
Instagram supported video
themselves, Vine’s 6-second
clips are infinitely loopable.
But when was the last
time you saw someone
playing around with the
actual Vine app? What
often happens instead
is these Vine vids get
V IN E recorded and transplanted
into Facebook posts or
YouTube compilations in
a greatest hits manner.
You won’t find scandals or
bloopers here, just content
that will entertain even on
the 10th replay–perfect viral
breeding ground then!
T HE V IRAL
C E L E BRI TY
swing
FroM
these vine
accoUnts
The undisputed example
of this can be no other
than Maine Mendoza
or Yayadub, who blew
up the Internet with her ato ni vines
Kris Aquino rendition
on Dubsmash. The lip-
syncing Dubsmash service
combines several types of
content in one convenient
clip: trends, dubs, singing, jonel’s brieF brusko bros
and the self-made intimacy dark history
of Vine—no wonder it blew According to the
up in popularity almost description, it was their
overnight. It’s admittedly school project in 1999.
not as popular today, but Thus we would have
somewhere out there, the been deprived of this regine
next big thing is coming– had YT not existed. nukimizu
and you’re sure to read
about it on your feeds. But
the more lasting legacy is
how viral video stars can
now become more than
Internet sensations and use Filipino
that momentum to transition vines
into mainstream media. Go Fb page
make some funny faces into
your front camera today!
 “randoM girl oF
sM MegaMall”
karaoke QUeen
venUs Zendee Rose Tenerefe
raaaaaaa! eventually grabbed
reaction videos a recording contract
Reaction videos are thanks to this!
pretty commonplace
nowadays–many
people deliberately
shoot and upload
them as regular
programming for
everything from The
Fliptop Voice decisions to Star
rap Wars’ trailer–but this call Me Maybe
Many of the local classic from 2010 is Ft. it girls
rappers on the radio never to be topped. Friendship galawang breezy
today cut their teeth When eyecandy and coUple goals
on this legendary virals intersect, it’s Sometimes trends are
channel. pretty great! local in origin too!

2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015

Manny
harleM shake thUg liFe
pa-Uso no tiMe
petra
Notable for warring For that
MahaliMUyak
DLSU vs ADMU *drops mic*
Her viral video
prowess landed her editions.
on our cover! The fact hUgot by p.a.r.d.
that she’s got quite the Fresh beats
figure had nothing to As if it wasn’t catchy
do with it at all, nope, enough, you’ve also
crazy in love
nothing at all… got several FHM
cover version
She’s a man... babes in there.
dancing
in case there
Manongs
was any
rUMble in the
doubt.
jUngle
More fun than a night
out at Valk...

gwiyoMi
bogart cUte overload
the eXplorer Alodia knows
His viral video prowess what’s up.
landed him in our pages!
The fact that he’s got quite
the figure possibly had
something to do with it…
Mos t of u s semi-gwapo , u su ally f un ny , g en er a lly li k ea b l e g u y s h a v e
HOW TO BE MR. LAY
a sk ed ou rs elv es t his qu est io n mor e tha n a fe w ti me s: “ Bakit wala pa ring
nagkakagusto sa akin ?” We g ot he a d g ui da nc e cou n s e l o r , Ir a L l o r a d o r a n d
ex pe rt s f ro m d if fe re nt fi eld s t o he lp y o u b ri ng ou t th e s e x i n e s s i n y o u
W OR DS C HI SE AL CAN TAR A
BE THE L EAN,
NOT-S O-M EAN
SEX MA CHI NE
EX PEr T AD VIC E: Kirst Viray,
COSMOMAN Centerfold Model
PS YCH O LOG IC AL B AS IS :
A book called Men Are
Like Are Like Waffles
Women Are Like
Spaghetti by Bill and
Pam Farrel, relationship
counselor, proposes
that “yung brain ng
girls dikit-dikit na, they
relate one thing to the
other so when deciding
if they want to hook up
with you. They take into
account other aspects of
relationship like, if you’re
buffed to the point that it
looks like you spend all
your free time in the gym,
she could question if you
are willing to sacrifice
some of your gym time
to prioritize her needs,”
Llorador interprets.
THE LOOK
EXP Er T A DVIC E: Badj Geneto,
professional stylist
IL L U S TR AT IO NS ME LVI N C A L I N G O
P S YC HOLOGIC A L BA S IS :
“Cleanliness and good
hygiene show that
you’re healthy and you
have a certain sense of
responsibility. It’s like
you know what you’re HOW TO MA K E IT HA P P EN
doing with yourself and It’s important to know
you have things under what you’re dressing up
control,” Llorador notes. for. If it’s for every day
H OW TO MA KE I T H A PPE N
“Though, it also helps to work (without uniform),
D IET: Have most of your
have your own unique then it’s best to go with
carbs during the morning
style that you can have what you’re comfortable
then, less and less as the
people familiarize you with because you can
day progresses. Two cups
with so they develop, actually make a statement
of rice in the morning, one
again, this certain level of about yourself and
at lunch, and just ulam
comfort,” says Llorador. feel like you’re staying
during dinner.
through to it.
W OrK - OuT : Once you
achieve the body built you
But don’t overdo trying
are looking for, maintain
to make a statement
the heaviness of the
by wearing something
weights so you won’t
completely inappropriate
add more volume to your
for the occasion. Always
muscles.
note where you’re headed
C ArD I O: Also, try to walk
and what you’ll be doing.
all the time, everywhere
you go so you can still
A good pair of shoes will
perspire and be active
get you far. Let people
even when you’re not
take a second look and
exercising.
make a statement.
Good fitting clothes are
always a must to not look
sloppy, droopy, or lazy.

MA XI MUM
COMF ORT
EX PEr T A D VIC E: Ma. Sylvia
Pengson, Curriculum Director,
John Robert Powers
PS YC HO LO GI CA L B A SI S:
“The extent on how
comfortable you can
be around someone
revolves around many
factors but most of
them involve emotional
connections which can be
achieved through sharing
heightened emotional
experiences with that
person. This is why being
funny and making her
laugh or watching a
horror movie together can
be a good way for you
and the person you are
attracted to get closer,”
says Llorador.
HOW TO MA K E IT HA P P EN
Y O U SMELL There’s no “one scent”
F A MI LI AR that attracts all the
ladies—it’s all a matter of
E X P ErT A DVIC E: Wiji Lacsamana, preference. Try getting
Owner of Radioactive Mushrooms to know the girl you’re
in the Forrest Memory-perfume wooing to get a clue as to
what she likes.
Try natural perfumes.
They smell different on
everyone because they
HOW TO MA KE IT H AP PEN blend with your body’s
Expose yourself to the P S YC HOLOGIC A L BA S IS :
“If you still haven’t had ph level, and do not
world and gain knowledge mask your skin’s natural
in conversing well. the chance to share any
experiences with her, chemical properties.
Remember: social skills
can be learnt through heightened feelings can
interaction. also come from fond
memories. The brain
While being able processes smell faster
to contribute to than most senses and
the conversation is that makes association
impressive, you shouldn’t with memories an easier
be afraid of having process,” adds Llorador.
nothing to say. Learn to
listen.
Having little knowledge HOW TO MA K E IT HA P P EN
of the topic gives you Internalize a story you
chance to gain insights want to project. Imagine
from other people. F L A S H THAT yourself reading a book
Value their opinion and or checking your phone
show them that you are SEDUCTIVE SMIZE when you suddenly hear a
interested in what they girl’s voice. You look up to
think. E X P E rT A DVIC E: Dairy Darilag,
fashion photographer see your crush smiling at
you. Smile back.
Having a good sense
of yourself translates to When your smile causes
charisma and self-worth. your eyes to become too
small (#Chinitoproblems),
tone it down. Mysterious
P S YC HOLOGIC A L BA S IS :
smiles for angular faces,
“You can tell a lot about
and different angles for
a person’s intentions
selfies for rounder faces
from the signals they
to make them skinnier.
send through their body
language, especially
through their eyes and
what they do with their
mouths,” says Ira
Llorador.
t h e tr a ck s
of
l o st hope
Four r ai l way l i n e s s e r vi n g t h e e n t i r e o f Met r o
Mani l a—al l 11.5 mi l l i o n p e o p l e l i vi n g i n i t — i s wrong .
No other way to sa y i t . Ma k e s yo u p i n e f o r a t i m e
when the c i ty was s m a l l a n d q u a i n t , w h e n w e h a d
s tr eet c ar s and s tee l l o co m o t i ve s s n a k i n g t h r o u g h
i ts di s tr i c ts and s u b u r b s , a n d a f u t u r e i n s u b w a y.
Y es , ther e w a s a ct u al l y s u ch a t i m e
 WORDS
ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ

ALL OLD PHOTOS

UNLESS OTHERWISE
INDICATED, ARE FROM
THE COLLECTION OF JOHN
TEWELL AND ARE USED WITH
PERMISSION
(flickr.com.photos/johntewell)

SPECIAL THANKS TOMMY DELA

CRUZ, RIZAL LIBRARY, ATENEO
DE MANILA; LOU GOPAL,
MANILA NOSTALGIA

RECENT PHOTOS
MARK JESALVA
 f you look at the Tokyo Subway Route Map, you’d
say it resembles a circuit board, only crazier. There
are letters and numbers inside rectangles and
squares connected by meandering lines of blue,
green, red, purple, gold, and eight other different
colors, representing 13 lines and 285 stations with
a total track length of 304.1 kilometers, serving
over eight million passengers daily on estimate.
This is not even the sum of it—in all, Tokyo has 882
interconnected railway stations serving a grand total
of 40 million passengers, making the Tokyo urban
railway network the most extensive and the most
used in the world.
Hong Kong’s Mass Railway Transit (MRT) is much simpler, laid out
with eight lines running logical straight paths and mostly 90 degree turns,
with a number of interconnections. Unlike the Tokyo subway, where you
can get lost just by looking at the map, you can clearly see the origins and
destinations of each line in the Hong Kong MRT. Still, it represents 218.2
km of track and 155 stations, practically stopping at every important district
in the city, serving an average of 4.71 million passengers daily.
Singapore’s Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) and Light Rail Transit system
(LRT) is not much different from Hong Kong’s, although it is much more
elegantly laid out. [This early we make this distinction: LRT is light rail and
MRT is heavy rail. The differences are in the train sizes and passenger
capacity. Logically, heavy rail is bigger and serves more people.] Presently,
there are five working lines in the city, stretching 170.7 km with 121
stations serving 2.8 million passengers daily. Eight more lines are either
under construction or in the planning stages. Of the ones being constructed,
the Circle Line is the most impressive—on the map it is, in fact, a perfect
yellow circle underneath the city, with trains to go round and round through
Harbourfront and Marina Bay.
Meanwhile, Metro Manila has four lines.
Four. On the map they look like cracks in the ground.
Barely moving
Running 19.65 km from Roosevelt Avenue in Caloocan to Baclaran is LRT 1,
the first among the three lines to be constructed, opened in 1984. There are
20 stations along the line serving an average of 470,700 passengers daily.
Stretching from Santolan, Pasig to Recto for a total length of 13.8 km
is LRT 2, the newest line in the network, opened in April 2003. It has 11
stations serving 195,000 passengers on average, mostly students enrolled
in the University belt. The trains on this line are of the heavy rail type, and
by far the best we have. The eastern end of the network, which is currently
Santolan station, is now being extended to Masinag, the gateway to Antipolo
and Cogeo. Plans for the western end to extend from Recto to Pier 4 are in
the works.
No doubt the busiest, and infamously so, of the three is MRT 3, more
popularly known as the Edsa line. Running from North Avenue in Caloocan
to Taft Avenue down south, it traverses Metro Manila’s main highway for a
total of 16.9 km of track. Almost 600,000 passengers take the train every
day, and yet its maximum capacity is only 450,000.
The fourth line belongs to the Philippine National Railways (PNR) and
is called the Metro Commuter Line. It runs 56 km from Tutuban station in
Tondo to Laguna, passing through 27 stations along Manila, Makati, Taguig,
Parañaque, and Muntinlupa, serving 100,000 commuters on average,
primarily those living in the south. The line is, in fact, a part of the currently
unserviceable South Main Line, or the Bicol Express, because it runs all the
way to Sorsogon in the Bicol Region.
In total, Metro Manila has 106.3 km of track and 72 stations, with no real
interconnections (foot bridges don’t count). Compare these with Singapore’s
urban railway numbers, and note that in terms of land area, Metro Manila
(638.6 sq. km) and Singapore (718.3 sq km.) are almost the same, but our
population (11.5 million) is twice as theirs (5.5 million).
On top of all that: problems with track maintenance, station
management, the quality of the trains themselves, and ultimately,
bureaucratic corruption explain the daily torture that train commuters
experience. Beginning with long queues to packed cars, to frequent
 HOW WE STACK uP WITH
THE TRAINS OF OuR
NEIgHBORS

Clockwise from left: The

Manila tranvia route; a book
illustration of the Plaza Goiti
station; the present chaos
of MRT 3, or the Edsa line;
Edsa, depicted as a choked
artery; the old locomotives
of the Manila Railway
Company, which once ran a
Marikina and Antipolo line. METRO MANI LA RA I L TRANSI T SYS TEM
LI NE 106.3 KM PASS ENGERS 1.36M DAI LY

[ Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden ]

[ Suitengu Shrine ]
[ Tokyo Metropolitan Government ]

[ Yoyogi Park ]

[ Meiji Jingu Shrine ]

[ National Diet Bldg. ]

TOKY O SuBW A Y NETW ORK

LI NE 304 KM PASS ENGERS OVER 8 M DAI LY 2015.11

malfunctions and one major accident in 2014 when a stalled train came
uncoupled with another train pushing it from behind, freewheeling straight
out of Taft station, with passengers inside the cars, injuring 38.
Your next immediate question would have to be: How did we end up
with this?
And the answer is: we shouldn’t have.

The Manila subway of our dreams

Dr. Jose Regin F. Regidor, engineer and professor at the UP College of
Engineering, and fellow at the National Center for Transportation Studies,
tells the back story of what became our urban railway network:
“There was actually a master plan drawn up around 1973 by the HONg KONg MTR SY STEM
precursor of the Japan International Cooperation Agency [JICA is a LI NE 218.2 KM PASS ENGERS 4.7M DAI LY
Japanese government agency tasked with helping developing countries],
called the Urban Transport Systems for Metropolitan Manila. They proposed
a heavy rail system—in fact it was a heavy rail subway system—to run along
Manila’s heavily traveled corridors, which would be our circumferential and
radial roads [C1 to C5; R1 to R10. A good map of Metro Manila would
indicate where these are. For example, C4 is actually Edsa; Commonwealth
Avenue in QC is part of R7]. There would have been common stations
where lines would connect. Yes, they would have been comparable to the
ones in Hong Kong and Singapore,” says Dr. Regidor.
“The grand plan called for six to eight lines—with the exception of the
PNR line, which already existed then—and the first line to be constructed
was located in Diliman—Commonwealth and Philcoa, basically—and it would
have ran through Quezon Avenue down to España Boulevard, Taft Avenue,
and terminated at the airport, in what is now NAIA Terminal 1.
“But then around 1977, the World Bank came out with a white paper [a
government or other authoritative report giving information or proposals on SI Ng APORE LRT/MRT SYSTEM
LI NE 170 K M PASS ENGERS 2.8M D AI LY
an issue], basically discrediting the assumptions of the earlier plan. In effect,
the new study said that Metro Manila didn’t need a heavy rail system, that
there was yet no demand for it, that subways were more expensive to build.
What they proposed instead was an overhead line light rail transit—cheaper
 Clockwise from left: A
genteel Binondo with the
tranvia and carromata;
the rush-hour queue at
the LRT station; obviously,
light rail no longer works
for a booming population;
the route map of the once
mighty Manila Railroad
Company, stretching north
to La Union and to Bicol
down south

to build and the trend that we get most of the old pictures shown here, of what Manila was like when
time in Europe. The WB plan the tranvia was still around.
was essentially the earlier The tranvia streetcar network was actually the main business interest of
JICA plan, with the same what we still know today as Meralco, the country’s major electric distribution
routes identified, only they company. Meralco is the Manila Electric Railroad and Lighting Company,
replaced the subway with formed in 1903 “to opeate an electric street railway and to furnish electric
overhead trains,” says Dr. current for light, heat, and power for the city of Manila,” according to The
Regidor. Meralco Story, a small book the company published in 1950 (to showcase
And that is the story of their new modern electric power plant, Rockwell. Now it’s the Rockwell
Manila’s urban trains. It has Power Plant Mall).
been 39 years since the final Snippets from the book:
plan was put in motion, and “In April 10, 1905, the electric street railway system was inaugurated
we only have three of the six with 34 single truck open cars. Receipts for the first day of operations
to eight lines proposed. There exceeded P1,200.” In 1905, Manila had a population less than 300,000.
are proposed plans for new “In 1906, the Manila-Pasig line was added…this line, running through
lines, and they more or less Fort William McKinley, was for many years one of the best revenue-
follow the original plan, but as these facts show, these should have already producing lines of the Meralco system…in 1925 the Santa Mesa-Manila
been in operation. line was added.” Fort William McKinley is now Bonifacio Global City. In all,
Almost a century ago it was an even more different story. there were 86.9 km of street track covering all sections of the city and its
environs.
In the mode of the genteel Lou Gopal in his blog wrote a pictorial essay on Manila’s modes of
A photo of Old Manila from the 1920s: transportation from the turn of the century up until the 1960s. Among
It is high noon and the tranvia station at Plaza Goiti in Binondo is abuzz the photographs he showcased, from the personal collection of Mr. Fred
with people, mostly men in white suits. They probably snuck out of their Magpayo, is an old route map of Meralco’s tranvia network (with an autobus
offices—it’s the Central Business District, after all—for lunch at the nearby line route). From Plaza Goiti in Binondo you can practically take a tour of
chic shopping district of Escolta. Two streetcars appear from opposite Manila. Among the stops: City Hall-Paco-Sta. Ana-Guadalupe-Pasig; San
directions toward the station, which is really just a street platform. The Andres-Singalong; Pritil-Maypajo, Caloocan. Nostalgia is sweetest if you
tranvias—orange in color, say those who remember—look like the street cars take the time to view many of the old photos featuring the tranvia: You
in San Francisco. Plaza Goiti with its buildings and shops and the tranvias can see a Manila with wide tree-lined streets, great architecture, with a
and the station, joined by the procession of carretelas and the new moving cosmopolitan yet genteel mood.
sensation of the 20th century, the automobile, make for an image straight
out of an Old World European city.
But it is Manila. Was. The great iron horse
Fortunately, the Internet has been a repository of a wealth of photos There is another lost track, and it belongs to the Manila Railroad Company
of Old Manila, dug out by history and nostalgia buffs from libraries and (MRC).
personal collections, for others to see. Two of the best web pages are from The MRC is the country’s first effort to connect the country via the
Filipino-American Lou Gopal’s blog and Facebook page Manila Nostalgia rail. Initiated in 1875 by the Spanish colonial government, by the time
(lougopal.com/manila; facebook.com/oldmanilanostalgia) and American the Americans came to colonize the country and stepped up railway
John Tewell’s Flickr page (flickr.com/photos/johntewell). It is from them that construction in the beginning of the 20th century, the MRC had succeeded

72 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

in connecting practically the entire Luzon. From the central station in
Tutuban, it reached all the way up North to San Fernando, La Union via the
Manila-Dagupan Line; and to Albay in the Bicol Region down south via the
Main South Line. It also branched out to Cavite and Batangas (see map).
The MRC also had lines that went through the city of Manila and to its
outskirts in Pasig, Taytay, Marikina, Antipolo, and Montalban.
The Marikina Line, completed in 1907, ran from Rosario in Pasig all the
way to Montalban (now Rodriguez) for 31 km. Traces of this line still exist
in the narrow streets named Tramo and Daang Bakal that run the length of
Rosario, crossing over to Marikina, to San Mateo up to Rodriguez.
The Antipolo Line, constructed from 1905-1908, stretched 20 km. from
Manila all the way up the pilgrimage city.
“From Manila it passed through Mandaluyong, Guadalupe, and Pasig
[it ran along the north bank of the Pasig river, where the billboards now
are], crossing what is now C-5 into C. Raymundo. Then it branched out to
Tramo, in Rosario to the Montalban line, and Cainta and Parola for its run to
Antipolo. The entrance to what is now Valley Golf is actually to beginning of
the ascent to Antipolo, because it’s the gentlest slope. There is still a daang
bakal near Hinulugang Taktak,” says Dr. Regidor.
The Cavite Line, completed in May 1908, stretched from Manila through
Paco, Parañaque, Bacoor, Noveleta until Naic in Cavite for a total of 44 km.
These trains really did serve as commuter trains. “Today we have a
sense that these places are really just nearby. But you have to remember
that in those days, places like Antipolo, Marikina, and Montalban were really
far away. They were well into the mountains. People rode horses to get
there,” says Dr. Regidor.
In effect, with the tranvia and the MRC trains, it was possible to
commute to, say, Makati the way the majority of Metro Manilans do now
without experiencing the daily apocalypse. Of course, Makati was still
marshland then. Quezon City didn’t exist. Marikina looked like it was still
part of an hacienda. Montalban was primarily a watershed for Wawa Dam.
Antipolo was really a mountain, for tourists and religion.
The end
Two things killed the tranvia and the Manila Railroad Company’s trains: cars
and the War.
To get around, Filipinos made use of the trucks left behind by the
American military. There were a lot of jeeps left behind as well. We all know
what happened after.
The future?
What should it be like for us in 2050?
“I would like to see all the railway lines planned in the ‘70s already running.
The stations would be bigger, and the trains would be longer,” says Dr. Regidor.
“The express train to Clark should be operational. Right now there are
problems with right-of-way, among others.
“The Diliman line [MRT 7] should have been constructed. It really doesn’t
make sense to take a bus from Commonwealth, QC all the way to Manila.
You should already be taking the train.
“There is already a Bus Rapid Transport System plying Edsa. And
because this is organized, it means that there should be fewer buses on
Edsa. Fewer means they travel faster and turnaround times are faster,
therefore more people are served.
“There are parking facilities near the stations, so that people are more
inclined to leave their cars and take the trains. We actually asked the city
of Antipolo if they were preparing for new Masinag station. They said they
already have ample traffic personnel. But no plans for constructing parking
facilities, which is what is needed. There’s a new mall in the area, but of
course they will only be looking after their own interest
“I want to see the subway trains working. We are actually starting a
study with the History Department of UP to look at the historical perspective
of our urban rail systems. One of the things we are looking at is that, had we
built the subway system, we might have had less flooding. Why? Because
then we would have been aware that an efficient drainage system had to
be built so that the underground network would not be flooded. This is what
has happened in Hong Kong, Singapore, and Tokyo.”
In the meantime, we look back at the days of old with a sense of
nostalgia and get to grips with what is now.
Four lines. Eleven million people. FHM
ARANETA

In the book, The Colonial Iron Horse: Railroads and Regional Development THE F u Tu RE WE TALA
in the Philippines 1875-1935 (UP Press, 1999), author Eng. Arturo G. Corpuz, S HOuL D HAv E QUIRINO

HAD A L ONg
SACRED HEART
UP professor and vice president for Urban Planning at Ayala Land, identified
the arrival of the automobile as the crux that rendered the MRC irrelevant. TIME Ag O MINDANAO

“The first automobile was imported to the Philippines in 1903. Less than DOñA CARMEN

two decades after this event, motor vehicles were already threatening the BALINTAWAK
REGALADO
MANGGAHAN

financial viability of the MRC,” writes Corpuz. MONUMENTO ROOSEVELT BATASAN

In 1911, there were 800 cars registered in the entire country. By 1927 5TH AVE. DON ANTONIO

there were 27,078. R. PAPA

NORTH EDSA
TANDANG SORA

“Automobiles were more efficient, especially for nearby routes. Cars

UNIVERSITY AVE.
ABAD SANTOS QUEZON AVE.
QUEZON MEMORIAL

also quickly became status symbols. The motor industry also became a BLUMETRITT
GMA/KAMUNING

large contributor to the insular treasury. In 1926, the auto industry paid
TAYUMAN
CUBAO ANONAS
BAMBANG KATIPUNAN
BETTY GO
the highest tax rate in the world, with the exception of Japan, which had TUTUBAN RECTO BELMONTE
DOROTEO JOSE
prohibitive taxes to protect its rickshaw industry,” writes Corpuz. LEGARDA V. MAPA GILMORE SANTOLAN MASINAG
CARRIEDO PUREZA J. RUIZ
By 1917 the Antipolo line was already abandoned. “The Antipolo line SANTOLAN

CENTRAL PACO
was really for tourism and religion. There were really only small barrios
UNITED NATIONS AVE.
in Antipolo at that time, the subdivisions didn’t exist yet,” says Regidor. In PEDRO GIL
SAN ANDRES ORTIGAS

1936, the Marikina and Cavite lines were also abandoned because by then QUIRINO AVENUE
VITO CRUZ
SHAW BLVD.

road building was at its peak and these places, previously hard to reach, VITO CRUZ
BUENDIA BONI AVE.

were now easily accessible by cars and buses. GIL PUYAT PASAY ROAD
GUADALUPE

As for the tranvia, in 1927 Meralco decided that the street car system LIBERTAD BUENDIA

would not be expanded, but that autobuses would supplement its service. EDSA/PASAY
MAGALLANES
AYALA

In the early years, revenue from the railway exceeded that of the electricity BACLARAN

distribution service by a wide margin. By 1925, revenues from rail and

REDEMPTORIST

MIA ROAD NICHOLS

EXISTING
ELEVATED LINE
electricity were equal. By the advent of WWII, Meralco’s business was 80 ASIA WORLD

percent electric, 10 percent autobus, and 10 percent railway. N. AQUINO

SUCAT
PNR
The period of February 3-March 3, 1943 is known as The Battle of Manila. DR. SANTOS

MANUYO UNO BICUTAN

The Japanese were finally driven out of the city. In the aftermath: the city was LAS PIñAS
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
leveled. What it once was, its beauty and splendor, were destroyed in a month. ZAPOTE
ALABANG
ELEVATED LINE

Manila eventually recovered (though not as it once was), but not the tranvia. TALEEBA

The tranvia’s doomed fate is recounted in The Meralco Story: NIYOG PLANNED
MRT 7 LINE
“The Japanese operated the streetcars and the company’s facilities BACOOR

deteriorated greatly due to lack of maintenance. After the Battle of Manila, IMUS
SOUTH RAIL

all street cars and most of the track were destroyed. It was decided that
streetcar system could not be rebuilt.”

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 73

 The FHM man test
This month’s challenger...

MAN IX ABRERA
This comic creator has made countless readers laugh out loud with his stuff,
but can he funny his way to getting a perfect score on our test?

Have you ever farted Have you ever had blood Which romantic comedy
openly in public? in your hands that was makes you feel giddy 13 /15
Only quietly. not yours? inside?
Yes, dugo ng baboy. Serendipity! He might have lost
two points from our
Man 4 Not man Sumali kasi ako dati
landmine of trick
sa paghuli ng baboy Man Not man 4
questions, but we
sa Bindiyan Festival furnished him with a
sa Kabayan, Benguet. bonus two for going
What’s the worst thing Eh nung pagkahuli, a decade plus without
you were teased about kailangan ako rin pala Have you ever worn your deo. Smell that? True
as a kid? ang magkakatay, hala. briefs on top of your manhood.
Noong grade 3 ako, pants and pretended to
naihi ako sa shorts ko Man 4 Not man be a superhero?
habang flag ceremony. THE MAN TEST
Hindi… hindi talaga. LEADERBOARD
Ihing-ihi na kasi ako
noon tapos ayaw ako Man 4 Not man Manix Abrera 1 5 /1 5
payagan ng teacher na What’s the title of the Se f Ca d a y o n a 1 5 /1 5
mag-CR muna; tapusin weirdest porno you’ve Tirso Ripoll 1 4 /1 5
ko raw muna yung watched? Wally Bayola 1 4 /1 5
Lupang Hinirang… Hindi porn eh, parang Have you ever sniffed Dan Villegas 1 4 /1 5
ayun tuloy. erotic video lang na used underwear? J a y Co n t r e r a s 1 3 /1 5
pinanood sa akin ng mga Yes! Yung sa akin. Boy2 Quizon 1 3 /1 5
Man 4 Not man Fine Arts classmates ko, Jose Manalo 1 3 /1 5
yung title ay Groping Ranidel
in America. Ang weird Man 4 Not man de Ocampo 1 3 /1 5
lang talaga, hindi mo Ch i t o M i r a n d a 1 3 /1 5
What fictional villain siya ma-ko-comprehend. Alex Medina 1 2 /1 5
scares you the most? Naghihipuan lang sila A l d e n R i c h a r ds 1 2 /1 5
sa train; *cringe* never RA Rivera 1 2 /1 5
Count Dracula. Bata pa Have you ever taken
again! Gloc-9 1 2 /1 5
lang ako takot na ako secret selfies? Loonie 1 2 /1 5
sa kanya. Hindi pa. Baka sa future M e d w i n M a r f il 1 2 /1 5
Man 4 Not man siguro, ha ha! Brandon Vera 1 1 /1 5
Man 4 Not man
Man 4 Not man
What’s the longest
Can you name one high- you’ve gone without
ranking FHM woman wearing deodorant?
you’ve had an 17 years. Would you ever carry
unforgettable experience your girlfriend’s purse
with? Man Not man at the mall if she asked
Madaya pag sinagot you to?
ko itong question na Yes, of course!
ito, mahilig kasi akong
mag-imbento, ha ha! What’s the name of the Man Not man 4
coolest pet you’ve ever
Man 4 Not man had?
Paiba-iba yung
pangalan ng pet If the world were to end
naming pagong; super tomorrow, what would
If you could blow up one haba kasi ng buhay your last meal be?
thing, what would it be? niya. Maliliit pa lang Sinigang na hipon.
Sa future: asteroid na kami hanggang ngayon
mag-e-endanger sa buhay pa rin siya! Man 4 Not man
Earth. Nakalimutan ko na
pangalan niya ngayon.
Man 4 Not man
Man 4 Not man
ILLUSTRATION: MANIX ABRERA INTERVIEW: CHISE ALCANTARA
Run
away

with
Photography S H A I R A L U N A
O F AT E A ST J E D | R O OT
Interview A S H M A H I N AY

Styling R I A CA S C O
Makeup SA R I CA M P O S
Hair R H OY CE RVANTE S
Shot on location at Eleven Tables,
G/F Ace Plaza, United cor. Brixton
St. Kapitolyo, Pasig
me
Daydreaming of
being elsewhere
with Sakura Lao
What is the
best part of
the daily grind
known as
school?
Is it pretty classmates? MILF-y
teachers? Learning to interact
with fellow sacks of emotions
known as human beings?
Actual academic learning? Well,
according to Sakura Lao, it’s
all about enjoying the years of
being young, wild, and free.
You’ve got the rest of your post-
grad days to be a frazzled mess
worrying about real life, so you
might as well make a few good
memories to flashback to later
on. Of course, we want you to
do good in school, but it’s not
a huge crime to slip out for an
adventure occasionally, right?

You were very quiet during our

shoot. Nervous?
Ganun talaga ako, medyo mahiyain sa
simula.
We assume that’s because you’re new
to this modeling gig?
Yes, baguhan lang ako, mga one year
pa lang ako nagmo-model–mostly
events pa lang. May mga ibang Gusto ko kasi ma-enjoy
magazine offers din, pero hindi ko
nagagawa dahil busy kasi ako sa yung pag-aaral ko. Para
school–second year ako right now.
You’re perfect for our cutting-class ma-enjoy yung years in
theme today, we’d like to know if college di ba, hindi lang
you really do that though…we won’t
spill. naghahabol ng grade
Sometimes, ha ha! Siguro sa kaibigan
ako na-i-influence. Pupunta lang kami
sa mall, mga ganon.
Ever get caught?
Meron na! Siguro yung pinaka-
memorable time is nung high school
kami. Umakyat kami ng mga kaibigan
ko sa pader nung school. Nahuli kami
ng teacher namin kasi andun pala siya model student? may rides pa, ha ha!
sa labas! As in, pag-landing namin Relax lang ako. Gusto ko kasi ma- And what is your stereotype in
andun siya nakatayo, ha ha! enjoy yung pag-aaral ko–hindi yung your friend group? Are you all
Was this a co-ed escapade or girls hina-haggard yung sarili ko. Para modelesque?
behaving badly? ma-enjoy yung years in college di ba, Meron ding mga model sa barkada ko,
Co-ed kami. Aakyat na rin dapat ako hindi lang naghahabol ng grade. pero ako yung shy girl, ha ha! Shy girl
pero naunahan na ako makita nung And what’s there to look forward to na makulit!
teacher, ha ha! in the summer? And what kind of guy gets your shy
How do you charm your way out of a Yung mga trips na kasama ng family girl fancy?
situation like that? out of town. Pag malambing–kasi sobrang lambing
Siguro, kindat na lang–ganun lang Not roadtripping with friends? ako, dun ako bumabawi, ha ha! FH M
kaya ko, ha ha! . Minsan oo, pero kadalasan family
Does this mean you are really a talaga kasama ko. Sa beach, sa mga
Sa ku r a L a o

Ganun talaga ako,

medyo mahiyain sa
simula
REY TRAJANO
of the ASH MAHINAY

FAIRWAYSDes
si e M it
ch eson is a n ac e
!

Styling: J E S S I CA FA N G
Makeup: E LI Z A B E T H S U J
In golf, an ace is more
commonly known
as a “hole in one,” which is sinking it in the hole
with a single stroke. We felt like we just scored
one when we were introduced to the perfection that
is Dessie Mitcheson. For reasons she will explain
later, this babe has ended up on the green during
weekend–no doubt distracting men from their short
game whenever she turns up. It’s always great to
discover girls who are into unexpected things isn’t
it? Now excuse us because it’s time for us to emulate
Happy Gilmore once again…

Dessie is a cute name, is it shorthand
for something?
Dessie is my real first name. It’s not
short for anything, I was named after
my great-great-great-aunt Dessie–
so it's a family name, which in my
opinion makes it even more special!
Many locals know you for being there
during Pacquiao’s big fight with
Mayweather–and that photo where
Manny is eyeing you rather than Floyd
during the faceoff! Could you tell us if
you really did lock eyes back then?
I love that meme! To whoever made
it, thank you! Now I will always have
that memory. That whole week during
the MayPac fight went so fast and
we were so busy it’s hard to pinpoint
that exact moment–but I will say that
Pacman is a great guy. He would
acknowledge the girls and I, and he
had excellent manners. He’s a real
sweetheart!
Aside from being a ring girl, what
keeps you occupied?
I’m a full-time model. I do a lot of print
work, I’m in classes for television,
and in April I will start as the lead
sideline reporter for the Legends
Football League [formerly known as
the Lingerie Football League]. Besides
work, I love traveling back home
to Pennsylvania. I love traveling in
general, and also enjoying beautiful
California!
With all the disciplines you’ve been
exposed to, what is your personal
sport of choice to stay so fit?
I’m an active person, but I think my
best workouts are when I’m shooting
for ten hours in heels. Every muscle is
tight and you have to hold poses—it’s
harder than people think! I also enjoy
playing golf.
How’d you end up into golf? It’s got a
rep as a dad sport after all!
I played golf in high school–I started
playing because I could no longer do
other sports due to too many knee
surgeries, and golf was gentler on the
knees.
We’re curious though, what does a
lady think about the usual male golf
attire AKA khakis and polo shirts?
I wouldn’t say khakis and polos are
necessarily sexy. But I think it shows
your fun side. It can show your
personality, which is the sexy thing
about a man.
With all the sport talk, are you into
athletes?
I have never dated a professional
athlete, but it is very attractive when a
man is good at sports!
Say you needed to distract someone
putting to win a game, what would
you do?
I would probably make a game out of
the round of golf. If you get a birdie
or par you’d have to shot gun a beer!
That way I can stay sober and play a
little better than everyone, ha ha! FH M
NOW YOU CAN TAKE THE BABES
EVERYWHERE YOU GO!

Get on your smartphone or tablet.

Download the app now!

http://bit.ly/fhm-ios http://bit.ly/fhm-android

*Powered by . You can access using the account you create for the FHM Philippines App.
 WH AT TO BU Y AND HOW TO WEAR IT

Health drink
Aside from your
whey and fat
burners, you need
your refreshing
post-sweats drink
that has no chems.
Vit a Coco Pineapple,
P44.70

Bluetooth
headphones
You don’t have time
to fuck around with
wires while
deadlifting 200
pounds! With a
BT-capable set, you
can rock your
power jams with no
fuss.
Elecom L BT-O H100,
P7,3 5 0

Skull t ank, P19 9.75,

Coco R epublic at
The S M Store
Compression tights,
P79 9.75, Bo
Athletics at
The S M Store
Compression shirt,
P6 9 9.75, Bo
Athletics at
The S M Store
Varsit y duffle,
P3,700, Sprayground
WO R D S THE BEAST

STARTER
AS H MAH I NAY
PH OTOG RAPHY MODE
LOU I E AG U I NALD O
STARTER PACK
No one gets swole to
stay low profile! That’s
why your gym kit must
scream that you
worship fitness.

KiTS
Besides, it will attract
ladies who worship at
the altar of fitness as WhAT kINd of mAN
well. And you’ve
learned (from Are You projecTINg
Instagram) that skinny
girls look good in ThIs moNTh?
clothes, but fit girls
look good naked.
THE A timepiece in Money in THE Thoughtful gift necessary. Plus
metal and in thousand- Foldable flats show hand sanitizer to
IMPORTANT leather denominations SOLDIER you care about her wash the sticky
PERSON How are you feeling Keep your money OF LOVE in a doting way. feeling away.
today, sir? blue also–to match P2,9 9 5, Yosi Samra
STARTER Oris Classic, your blazer, scent, STARTER
PACK P42,8 9 0; Oris and blood color. PACK Good boy polos
You’ve made it to Williams You need to impress Hairwax and Always buttoned up
the next level–shiny Chronograph, a woman fast! But hand sanitizer to the neck for that
baubles await! If P10 6,79 0 first you must You’ll get flustered harmless swag.
you’re missing Blue blazer approach them as you prepare your P3 9 9.75, Men’s Club
anything from this Black tops are for without scaring special date, so a at The S M Store
kit, your duty as waiters; get with the them away. Doing it touch up is
man-in-charge is to navy in blue. in a non-rapist Guidebook
hint to your equally Blazer, P1,3 9 9.75, manner will help, but Because you need
power lady (you Main Street at The a good soldier of all the help you can
have to have one S M Store love’s uniform has get, son.
when playing on this also been laid out for
level) to gift you the you here. If love is
big daddy items–it’s Spirits proving to be a Striped backpack,
only fair since you Keep a bottle handy battlefield, then flip P2,18 0, Sprayground
ship her out to on your desk for the page for Khakis, P5 9 9.75,
Europe every toasts after sealing reinforcements… Baleno at The S M
summer anyway. all them big deals– Store
just don’t call it alak.
P3 8 5

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 89

 meet the
paren ts

H e r e’s w H at a g o o d b oy lo o k s li k e i n 2 0 1 6
PHOTOG RAPHY AN D R EO E SG U E R RA
W O R D S A S H M A H I N AY

STYlinG DEBRA BERNALES

G R O O M i n g I YA Y U j U I c O
M O D E l M A R k M c M A H O N O f M E R cAtO R
The
Cardigan
To avoid the
douche factor,
don’t go with a
pastel cardigan
and stick with a
textured finish in
a dark color. The
shawl collar is a
must though—flat
front cardigans
can look way girly
and that’s not the
look we’re
shooting for
around here,
friend.


Cardigan,
P4,695,
Nautica; Plaid
button down,
P2,450, Marks
& Spencer; Dark
leather belt,
P2,895,
Nautica; Red
striped necktie,
P1,000, OTAA
at Felipe and
Sons; Scissors
tie bar, P1,500,
OTAA at Felipe
and Sons;
Brown Penny
Loafers, P7,500,
Sapatero at
Felipe and Sons


Half zip jacket,
P3,650, Marks
& Spencer;
Plaid polo,
P1,850, Marks
& Spencer;
Blue striped tie,
P1,000, OTAA
at Felipe and
Sons
F HYMLE
ST
The
Sweater
Hey girls, guess
what this is made
of? not boyfriend
material, you
aren’t Ryan
Gosling. But it’s
the most decent
you can get
without having to
overthink
everything. Just
make sure it isn’t
a longganisa fit
because you don’t
want to give Sir
another reason to
eat you alive.

Red sweater,
P2,750, Marks
& Spencer;
Woven polo,
P3,495,
Nautica; Blue
slacks, P3,150,
Marks &
Spencer; Gun
cuff links,
P1,500, OTAA
at Felipe and
Sons; Bespoke
blue suede
loafers,
P20,000,
Sapatero at
Felipe and Sons;
Glasses, P4,500,
Ray-Ban
F HYMLE
ST

The Dad
Plaid
Even though dad
plaid will give you
an air of maturity,
you wouldn’t wear
this shirt to the
club–girls are
unaffected by its
mystical powers.
On the other hand,
fellow men respect
the authority of the
short-sleeved dad
plaid shirt and will
listen intently to
what you have
to say.

Short sleeved
plaid polo,
P3,495,
Nautica; Camel
twill trousers,
P3,150, Marks
& Spencer;
Brown belt,
P3,050,
Nautica; Tan
tassel loafer,
P7,500,
Sapatero at
Felipe and Sons
The Blazer
Do you wear a
blazer to work
already? Good.
Just make sure to
ditch the
office-issue black
leather shoes if
you do. But we
still recommend
copping a real
blazer because
you need that
mental edge
when dealing with
the ‘rents and
being in your
office clothes has
this unexplainable
mental toll…

Light blue
trousers,
P3,895; Polo
shirt, P2,895;
Blue jacket,
P6,895; Brown
belt, P2,895, all
from Nautica;
Pocket square,
P600, OTAA at
Felipe and Sons;
Bespoke
Oxfords,
P25,000,
Sapatero at
Felipe and Sons
 FHM
A RY
FEBU
J AY TAB LAN T E Rebecca
C H I S E ALCAN TARA
ST Y LI N G :
Boggiano
J ET B E BA S
M A K E U P AN D H AI R :
She’s at home on both the pageant and
HAN NAH KI M racing circuits!
W
hile most pageant
competitors are visions
of elegance and poise
on-stage, we’ve learned
that most of them
have a down and dirty side to them
that’s just itching to get out of those
tight gowns, and Aussie beauty queen
Rebecca Boggiano is no exception. This
girl will make you go crazy not just
with her looks, but also with all the
activities she’ll make you do–and not
in the, “Aren’t you done shopping?,
it’s been three hours.” kind of way, but
rather, “Aren’t you going to hit the
brakes yet?”
You mentioned that you considered
yourself a tomboy but you don’t look
a thing like one! What’s that about?
I very much grew up as a tomboy and
still am at heart! Although I like to be
girly every now and then, I hardly ever
wear makeup in day-to-day life–I enjoy
the outdoors and getting down and
dirty in general! I love motorsports
and attend a lot of events such as
Formula 1, The V8s [Supercars series],
drifting, drags, Moto GP, and World
Superbikes–lucky for me I also get
paid to be there!
Other than making men’s engines
roar, what else do you like about
these activities?
Well, of course, the rush and the
adrenaline is addictive; there is nothing
that can compare to that! Tamer
activities are still fun of course but I love
extreme sports that give me a thrill…
and going super fast on a motorbike or
a supercar is just unbeatable!
Were you an adrenaline junkie even
before you joined pageants?
Of course! If anything I do beauty
pageants to remind myself that I am
actually, in fact, a girl, ha ha!
Did enjoying these certain types of
hobbies intimidate other pageant
contestants?
No, of course not! I consider myself
pretty down to earth and easygoing.
When people meet me in person
they would never feel threatened or
intimidated; I’m not really as scary as I
may seem on social media! It’s actually
the opposite–they intimidate me! I
usually feel like I don’t measure up
because I am a tomboy–but you got to
fake it till you make it right?
 FHM Y
UAR
FEBR
Though you must have fun getting
to travel all over because of your
pageant duties!
I’ve learnt a lot about myself on all of my
travels. I’ve definitely learnt to be more
independent and how to enjoy being in
my own company as well as how to enjoy
the company of others. There are endless
things to learn on all of my travels–and
I have also learnt how to network and
that every single person you meet has
something valuable that you can learn
from or utilize in your own life.
We’re always free if you want a travel
buddy, or are these more of soul-
Rebecca’s
life this
month
Feeling horn... nevermind! Ha ha!
98 FH M FEBRUARY 2016
searching solo trips?
Although. I love being around people
and am a very sociable person, I have
learnt to love traveling alone. When
I am alone I can do whatever I want
whenever I want. I have nobody to
answer to, nobody complaining or
getting tired. It also allows me the
opportunity to meet new people who
are doing the same thing! I usually say
that I ride solo and anybody who wants
to join me can, but I won’t ever change
my plans for people because they end
up letting me down anyway.
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil •
What if we saw a beautiful girl like
you traveling alone, would it be
creepy if we introduced ourselves?
Of course not, if you did it in the
right way! If you came up with some
sleazy pick-up line then maybe, but
if you were genuinely looking for a
friend to chat with then I’ll be happy
to be your friend. If I don’t like you,
you will know soon enough, ha ha!
So, have you ever found a soulmate
while traveling?
Ha ha! What happens on tour, stays
on tour, right? FH M
Sanctuary! Spunky today
fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph
WIN AT LIFE

P GSEI ILLUSTRATIONS
GILBERT DAROY
WORDS

N
VINCE SALES

MAL E
GE E K D O M
Just like the animal kingdom, geeks have their alpha males too.
only these alphas are now the richest, most influential men on the
planet—capable of affecting everything from climate change to space
exploration. who are they? it’s about time you asked…
JACK MA
Famous For: Alibaba, the
e-commerce site and the world’s
largest online business-to-business
trading platform, but also
much more. It does business-
to-consumer (like Amazon),
consumer-to-consumer (like
eBay), electronic payments
(like PayPal), and cloud
computing services (again,
like Amazon).
What else he does:
As the richest man in China,
there’s a lot of philanthropy.
He’s into nature conservancy,
and has purchased a
28,100-acre chunk of land for JEFF BEZOS
Famous For: Amazon. Which
Brandon Park in New York.
Began With: China now sells everything from books
Yellow Pages, an Internet to software, toys, and jewelry. And
company dedicated to producing consumer electronics, like
creating websites for Chinese the Kindle.
companies. In three years, the What else he does: A
company made 5,000,000 large portion of Amazon's business
yuan ($800,000). involves The Cloud, and it’s a
What his Future hugely profitable part. As if that
holds: Alibaba has grown wasn’t enough, Bezos also has
into a gargantuan company large investments in companies
in a wide variety of industries. like The Washington Post, and Blue
Though Jack Ma as Alibaba’s Origin–a company much like Elon
executive chairman has Musk’s SpaceX, except Blue Origin
to make sure that his new successfully landed a reusable
shareholders are happy, the rocket first.
future is wide open. After all, Began With: Bezos worked
Alibaba made $14.3 billion in at a New York hedge fund before
sales during China’s “Singles founding Amazon. Like Steve Jobs,
Day” this year, an event not he set up the company in his garage.
unlike the US’ Black Friday. What his Future holds:
net Worth: $24.1 billion Make no mistake about it, Amazon
(as of Dec 2015) is the future of retail. It recently
did you knoW that: surpassed retail giant Walmart in
He learned English as a child market capitalization.
by conversing with foreigners net Worth: $59.3 billion (as of
in a nearby hotel, giving them Dec 2015)
free guides so he could did you knoW that: Bezos
practice his English. purchased The Washington Post in
2013, aiming to help transition the
newspaper online.

SERGEY BRIN
Famous For: Google.
Don’t know what that is?
Google it. But here’s the short
version: Google (which is now
known as the holding company
Alphabet) consists of Google
Inc, Calico (biotech research),
Google Ventures and Capital
(investment), Google X (R&D),
Fiber (high-speed Internet
service), Nest Labs (smart
home products), and Verily (life
sciences). Under Google Inc is
the stuff we’re more familiar with,
such as Android, YouTube, and
Google Search.
What else he does:
Through Alphabet’s various
companies, Brin has his fingers
in a lot of pies. Most notably,
through Google.org--Google’s
philanthropic arm, he is investing
in alternative energy. He is also
championing driverless cars
through Google X.
Began With: Math. Yeah,
you got that right: math can
make you rich. Together with
Larry Page, Brin created the
PageRank algorithm back
in his Stanford days. If that
sounds familiar, that’s because
PageRank is a cornerstone of
the Google search engine.
What his Future
holds: Google’s recent
reorganization and rebranding
into Alphabet allows Brin and
Alphabet’s brain trust to basically
let the search engine biz do what
it does best while they pursue
moonshots like driverless cars.
net Worth: $36.8 billion (as
of Dec 2015)
did you knoW that: After
having his genome sequenced,
Brin discovered that he had a
high likelihood of developing
Parkinsons at some point in
his life. Through Calico, he's
taken an active role in finding a
cure for Parkinsons and other
neurodegenerative diseases.

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial february 2016 FH M 101


MARK ZUCKERBERG
Famous For: Facebook. You
know it. You use it—whether you like
it or not. It boasts 1.44 billion active
monthly users, including your mom,
your ex, and countless rabid Duterte
supporters.
What else he does:
Lately, Zuckerberg has been
getting pretty good at investing
Facebook’s giant pile of moolah.
He cemented Facebook’s future
by buying Facebook challengers
like Instagram and Whatsapp, as
well as re-aligning the company for
mobile. Thanks to the purchase of
virtual reality company Oculus, he
placed Facebook in a good position
to own the VR future if and when it
takes off. He’s also a big supporter
of free Internet for the whole world,
which he pursues through Internet.
org. Finally, Zuckerberg has pledged
to give away 99 percent of his own
personal Facebook fortune for the
102 FH M february 2016
good of the human race. Aw, what a
nice guy.
Began With: Facemash, a creepy
site for Harvard students to stalk cute
girls/guys. Hmm, not much
has changed.
What his Future holds:
2016 will decide whether or not
Zuckerberg’s $2 billion purchase of
Oculus was worth it or not. Meanwhile,
in the long term, Zuckerberg stands
to become one of the world’s greatest
philanthropists– at the age of 31 he
has a huge headstart over 60-year-old
Bill Gates, who started all this with The
Giving Pledge campaign.
net Worth: Estimated $46 billion
(as of Dec 2015)
did you knoW that: Like
Steve Jobs, he has a “uniform”: jeans
and a black t-shirt, though he has
been known to put on a suit every now
and then.
ELON MUSK
Famous For: Tesla
Motors, the electric car
company of which he is CEO
and “product architect.”
What else he does:
Oh, nothing much. He’s just
the founder of SpaceX, a
company that builds and
designs space rockets. He’s
also the chairman of Solar
City, a company that designs,
finances and installs solar
energy systems for homes and
business. He’s also working on
this thing called the Hyperloop,
which promises to be the
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
Where to
sniFF out the
neXt Pinoy
steVe JoBs
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak have been
portrayed as two geniuses building the first
Apple computer from Jobs’ garage alone.
Though this is fact, it’s largely unmentioned
how that garage was located in Silicon Valley,
where a computer revolution was already
underway. You can argue that Apple was built
on the back of IT giants and given an extra
push by Woz’s electronics hobbyist friends. So
if you want to be the next Steve Jobs, take a
look around you. What is our Silicon Valley?
moBile
You’ve heard it said time and again: the future
is mobile. The Philippines is all about mobile,
with four in 10 Filipinos toting smartphones in
2015. Therefore, the Philippines is the future…
right?
BPo
Now that the dust has settled around the BPO
industry, the Philippines has emerged as a
leader in providing these services to the world.
social media
41 million tweets for #AldubEBTamangPanahon.
Aldub breaking all kinds of Twitter records is
proof that Pinoys rule social media. So what are
we going to do about it now?
inVention
Pinoys are an inventive bunch. Even Obama
thinks so, and during his visit here for APEC,
he tried to matchmake Aisa Mijeno, inventor of
a saltwater lamp that could change the world,
and Jack Ma, founder of online e-commerce
site Alibaba.
shiPBuilding
Who knew? The Philippines is the fourth
largest shipbuilding nation in the world. That’s
big. Literally.
fastest, cheapest mode of
transport on the planet.
Began With:
with solar, or wind power, can
take thousands (millions?) of
homes off the grid. SpaceX is
Musk started his fortune by aiming to make space travel
creating a number of web safe, regular, and cheap with
companies, the most famous its reusable rocket. And there
of which is PayPal. He sold are already plans to build a
that to eBay for a small test Hyperloop in 2016.
fortune ($1.5 billion), of which net Worth: $12 billion
165 million was his. (as of Dec 2015)
What his Future did you knoW that:
holds: Nothing short of Elon Musk had a cameo in
changing the world. Aside Iron Man 2, because, when it
from pursuing a cheap (sub comes down to it…he’s the
$30,000), electric car for man most likely to build an Iron
everyone, Tesla is creating Man suit—if he doesn’t have
batteries for the home, the one already.
Powerwall, which, together
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

How I did it
When in Manila, hang out with
this guy…
PHOTOGRAPHY DAIRY DARILAG • INTERVIEW TONI ANTIPORDA
I moved out of our house when
I was 16. I worked as a cashier
at a Burger King in Los Angeles,
then I sent money back home to my
family. After that, I also worked at a
department store, as a waiter, then
eventually joined the US Navy for
four years.
I started a blog because I liked
writing. It’s not as if I started When
in Manila thinking that I’m going to
invest money in it and create this
site that gets contributors and be
the guide to what people are talking
about in Metro Manila.
When I started, it was really
just me sharing my drunken
stories to my friends in San
Diego. “When in Manila, do as the
Manilenians do,” you know, like “When
in Rome…” Back then I didn’t care
about views—I just liked writing, and I
just wrote for my friends and myself.
Back then, I noticed that a lot
of the online sites were either
good with writing but bad in SEO
(search engine optimization), or
good with SEO but then you go to
the site and realize that the writing
is not really good or it was not what
you were looking for. We found the
middle ground, we’ve researched and
learned SEO, and it just grew from
there.
www.fhm.com.ph
UPGRADE
CV
VINCE
GOLANGCO,
34
Education:
It’s really out of our control what they challenge each other in a • BA
goes viral, but we sort of have an positive way, they have different Communication,
eye for what will trend or go viral skills, and they help each other. San Diego State
now. But it’s still just one of the few University
articles that we have. We still do a lot Understand your own Currently:
of reviews of places very few people limitations and capabilities. • Founder and
get to find. And be realistic, because there’s publisher, When
only a set number of hours in a in Manila
We always choose to be day and you have no control over • Co-owner, Tipsy
positive, and we don’t pretend to be that. Also be aware of your physical Pig, Dyce ‘n’
such food experts—we’re just normal limitations, because you can only do Dyne, Hyve, and
people who tried something and so much as a person. Vyne
shared what we thought of it. Formerly:
• Cashier, Burger
Don’t try too hard to be cool.
King
It’s irresponsible to bash If you just love yourself, you’re
• Recruit, United
something, because the review is cool already, in your own circle
States Navy
going to be online forever. We could and in your own way. It’s about • Radio DJ,
really ruin businesses and lives, so it’s appreciating yourself for who you Mellow 94.7
either we give them a second chance are, and understanding that no one
or just don’t write about it. When we is cool to everyone.
choose not to write about it, then we
just tell the business owners directly
about our complaints.
Just keep on writing. There will
be days when you will be inspired to
Don’t be afraid to meet
write, then there will be days when
you won’t be, or at least won’t have
someone new. Don’t
the time to write, but still make it a
point to write every day.
believe the saying that you
Get really good business
shouldn’t talk to strangers,
partners. I can learn as much as
I can, but partnering with the right
because, if you think about
people will make it easier for me. A
lot of businesses do well because it, we’re all strangers.
they have the right mix of people—
facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 103
 UPGRADE

ZeN
a nd t h e art of

CHILL

GRAPHICS: LOUIS ARENAS

Cl e arin g y o u r min d and l ooseni ng up ti ght spots i n your

b o d y to rea ch a n elu sive ki nd of cal m i s easy w i th these
ex p ert-approved techni ques
WORDS WAYNE JOSEPH TULIO • PHOTOGRAPHY MArK JeSALVA

104 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

B e ing cal m i s
pr act i cal l y on e
o f t he hardest
t h ings t o do th ese
da y s. You can ’t
b e al w ays cool
w h e n you’ re stu ck
in the mi ddl e o f
c a rmageddon . You
c e rt ai nl y w on ’t
b e chi l l i f you ’re
o n t he recei vin g
e n d of a serm o n
f r om any of th e
f o llow i ng: you r
b o ss, your w om a n ,
o r your f ol ks .
B ut w hen you’re
no t cal m, you
b e come moody
a n d angry— yo u ’re
b a si cal l y no fu n to
b e around. Worse,
it has heal t h
c o nsequences.
Yo u don’t have
t o be i n a f oul
m o od al l t he time
t h e t i me t houg h .
Yo u can ret ur n to
c e nt er on a d aily
b a si s.
The next t i me yo u
f ind yoursel f in a
f u n k, do t hese…
steady Dark Chocolate
A study from Swinburne
University of Technology
eats in Australia found that
regular consumption of
dark chocolate helps
improve calmness and
Sometimes all it satisfaction thanks
takes is a bit of food to the antioxidant
to boost your mood compound polyphenol.
www.fhm.com.ph
1
Meditation
Meditation in essence is about
clearing your mind. “We’re so
used to wanting to know about
things all the time, meditation
[helps you relax] by trying to
stop your mind from interpreting
things,” explains Arianne Olegario,
movement meditation instructor
at Whitespace Wellness in
Quezon City. If you’re thinking
you’ll need to sit down and chant
words you can’t pronounce, you
don’t. It’s as simple as finding
some quiet space where you can
focus on your thoughts.
Do it: Find a spot where you
can have some privacy. Lie or sit
down, close your eyes and crank
your favorite playlist. “Focus on
the music, the tiniest details. Just
stay in that moment, if a thought
comes up, acknowledge it, and
go back to focusing on being in
the moment,” says Olegario.
Perfect for: Clearing your
head before you hit bed.
Banana
It’s rich in
tryptophan, an
essential amino acid
that synthesizes
serotonin, the
neurotransmitter
that regulates sleep,
appetite, and mood.
facebook.com/FHM.ph •
2
Diaphragmatic
Breathing
Breathing is supposed to be
second nature, but we tend to
forget how to breathe properly.
"Our diaphragm is connected to a
lot crucial parts that activate our
core muscles," explains Emman
Papa, assistant professor at the
UP College of Human Kinetics.
When you breathe from your
diaphragm, you unlock usual tight
spots like your hip flexors, your
chest and your shoulders. This
helps you feel relaxed, easing
away stress.
Do it: While standing or sitting
up straight, breathe in to your
nose and expand your belly. Hold
for a second then as you exhale
through your nose, draw your
belly in. That’s one. Do this ten
times.
Perfect for: When you’re
stuck in traffic. Sadly, it won’t
make the cars move, but at least
you’ll be calm.
twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial
3
Self-Myofascial
Release
This fancy-sounding method is
simply a form of self-massage.
By targeting certain parts of the
body with some pressure from,
say, a golf or tennis ball, you
can ease muscle soreness and
improve blood circulation." That’s
because this technique helps
create a proper length-to-tension
relationship in your muscles
before exercise and restores
muscle pliability after movement,"
says Chappy Callanta, head coach
of the 360 Fitness Club chain.
Do it: Try these two techniques
to ease muscle tension on your
tired legs, which carry the brunt
of our weight. These also help
ease other body aches as well.
Roll youR foot
Place a golf or tennis ball under
the balls of your right foot. Slowly
roll the ball until it reaches your
heels. Do this ten times. Do the
same on your left foot.
Ca lf M a n i p u l ati o n
Sit on the ground, stretch your
legs forward, and place a golf or
a tennis ball under your left calf.
Move your left leg side to side
until you feel the pinch. Do this
ten times. Do the same on your
right calf.
Perfect for: Practically the
start and at the end of your day.
You ease tension both times!
Cheese
It’s a rich source
of Vitamin B12—a
nutrient that plays
an important part
in regulating your
mood.
FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 105
 5
UPGRADE

4 6
Yoga
Yoga is a form of movement
meditation that not only helps
you relax, it can improve your
flexibility, too. According to
Jonathan Cagas, assistant
professor at the UP College of
Human Kinetics, "it’s an active
recovery strategy that teaches
us body awareness and focus.
It also employs diaphragmatic
breathing that helps increase
blood flow, relaxing the muscles,
kicking stress in the butt."
Do it: Try a class at Whitespace
Wellness in Katipunan, or Urban
Ashram Yoga in Kapitolyo, Pasig.
They have basic classes that will
teach you the rudiments of Yoga.
Another upside: Classes are
mostly composed of females.
Perfect for: Weekend
exercise. It’s a good form of cross
training from your usual sport or
workout.
G r e e n i t up Stretch your hips
Sitting all day in front of your
A 2012 Du tch s t u d y p u b lis h e d in t h e desk might help you meet all your
jou rn a l Landscape and Urban Planning deadlines. But it means your hip
flexors remain dormant, which
fo u n d th at th o s e wh o liv e d in a r e a s can lead to lower back pain and
with m o st g re e n s p a c e h a d lo we r you not being able to move well.
levels of th e s t r e s s h o r mo n e c o r t is o l When you can’t move well, you
just feel bad overall.
co mpa red wit h t h o s e wh o liv e in mo r e Do it: Try doing a hip flexor
u rb a n areas. T h e r e f o r e , if y o u h a v e t h e stretch. From a standing position,
ch a n ce, g o se e k n a t u r e , ma n . step your right food forward and
bend your right knee until you
Do it: If you liv e in a n u r b a n a r e a , feel the stretch on your left hip.
try to fin d th e n e a r e s t p a r k a n d wa lk Hold this for 15 to 20 seconds,
aro u n d. Is you r o f f ic e c lo s e t o a g r e e n then switch sides.
Perfect for: The middle of
space? Ta k e a s t r o ll o n y o u r b r e a k t o the workday. So that when it’s
redu ce wo rk s t r e s s . O c c a s io n a lly, y o u time to go home, you can spring
out the door.
ca n also tak e r o a d t r ip s t o p la c e s wit h
m o re trees (li k e Ba g u io ).
Perfect fo r: W h e n y o u ’r e in t h e
m iddle o f a st r e s s f u l d a y (p a r k is
g reat). If you h a d a s t r e s s f u l we e k
(roadtrips a r e b e t t e r ).

HOW NATURE
TICKS YOUR Compensates Has a restorative
NEURO BOXES for everday effect on
ACCORDING TO attention levels
SCIENTISTS:

overstimulation Significantly
Improves focus
(via the internet) lowers stress

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ALL-YOU-CAN-READ
Start your Ookbee Buffet subscription for only P179 and get
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UPGRADE

Millennial
Roadster
H e re is th e n ew MX-5—or the M i ata of your generati on.
Wh en y o u d riv e thi s, l ogi c goes out the w i ndow

words ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ

 In 2011,
the MX-5
was certIfIed
by GuInness as
the world’s best
sellInG two-seater
sports car, wIth
total productIon
surpassInG
900,000 unIts
It took us about six seconds to flip down the
soft top of the Mazda MX-5, or the Miata as it's
more affectionately known, and it was a slow six
seconds. There are no motors to do the work, but
ideally you could do it in three—release a lever just
above the rear view mirror, undo the hook, then
tuck it down neatly behind the headrests with a
click. But we were careful not to break anything.
At a starting price of P1.6 million, it was not
a go kart—although once you scrunch your 5’7”
frame onto the driver’s seat, that’s what it felt like
exactly. But that one act of doing away with the
roof explained the joy of owning a roadster: the
freedom, the individuality, the promise of speed,
the abandonment of all logic (four doors, back
seat, usable trunk space) for pure fantasy (no
back seat, a hole for a trunk, but damn sporty). In
Mazda’s own primal words: zoom-zoom.
SPECS And we hadn’t even started the engine yet.
When we did, we were hurtling down the
beautiful, winding roads of the Sierra Madre loop.
two-seater convertible Up to Cogeo, through the mountains, down Pillila,
soft top coupe Rizal, then up and down again. Because that’s
six speed manual or where the MX-5 belonged. The rush of the manual
automatic transmission transferring power to the back (yes,
In-line four cylinder a rear wheel drive) ran a loop up to your throttle
dohc 16 valve foot straight to the groin.
output: 160@6000 Negotiating the hairpins, with the top down, the
torque: 200@4600 wind in your face, the car twitching and turning the
way you want it to, felt like a cliché—except that
you feel it, and it’s real.
There is no other time when the MX-5 is its
true self. Back in the chaos of the city, it is just a
preening, pretentious car—can’t go fast, can’t go
low, can’t take the roof down.
But maybe not.
Here’s a point of view: Maybe the MX-5 is the
smartest, most sensible car you can drive every
day on the road.
We’ll tell you why:
There are people driving big cars solo; a
shameful waste of space. There’s been talk about
keeping off the road cars that have only two
people inside, when they can carry five or more.
The MX-5 seats two, and if it’s all you need, then
that’s all you need.
We talk about clean fuel and saving fuel. The
MX-5, while it happens to be a sports car, happens
to have technology for fuel economy and cleaner
emissions. As with all of Mazda’s newest models,
the MX-5 comes with the i-STOP (tech that shuts
down the engine during complete stops, saving
five percent on fuel) and i-ELOOP (a regenerative
braking system that puts energy into a battery,
saving as much as 10 percent of fuel) systems.
What you have, then, is a car that plays smart.
With these, you have to ask yourself: between
a Smart car, and an MX-5, who’s smarter? Exactly.
 UPGRADE

Looking
after yourself
This Valentine’s in G I VE YO U R
gear-assisted self-love BATO K A
B R EAK
Zyllion ZMA-13-BK
pillow massage with
WORDS KHYNE PALUMAR heat
Comfortably warms
to assist anti-high-BP
circulation, and deep-
kneads tight portions of
your upper and lower
back, or any part of
your body that can park
itself in this
5 x 9 -inch massaging
pillow. Straps onto
most head rests
(e.g. your car’s),
and operates on an
idiot-proof operation
single button. Shuts
off automatically after
20 minutes, too, in case
you’ve dozed off and
got too comfortable.
Score for: P3,97 1,
Galleon

U N -T WI TC H
YO U R E Y E
M USCLES
Relaxus facial eye
massager
Equipped with 18 foam
massaging heads that
stimulate acupuncture
points around your
eyes. Choose from two
speeds of vibration to
zone out for 2 to15-
minutes at a time, and
watch it hack away at
relieving the resulting
head and eye aches
that come from nasal
congestion. Or you
know, just to give your
eyes a break from a
permanent smartphone
screen squint. Pick a
problem.
Score for: P1,13 5,
Galleon

110 FH M FEBRUARY 2016 www.fhm.com.ph

MAK E YO U R WAY
BAC K TO YO U R BONUS
S H I NY
DRINK ITE M!
Lighting glow corks
Packs a pair of lit-up stoppers for
standard wine bottles, for when you’ve
had one too much to drink and need
visual cues and guidance. Great for
night parties outdoors, too.
Score for: P4 9 5, Quirks

ST RA I N L E S S
CA L M YO U R 4x4 multipurpose
ladder
SI N USES If you had to stand on
Ultrasonic HA-01 your toes, jump, or teeter
fragrance smoke air on another wobbly
pleasure humidifier monobloc to get that
Spritzes mist in the air to light bulb changed or that
dampen a standard stuffy roof DIY painted, then
air-conditioned bedroom. don’t you think it’s time
While it doesn’t purify you got yourself a proper
the air in a room, the ladder? Suggestions: this
Ultrasonic sanitizes its 16-step aluminum that
cradled water supply by folds four ways. Letting
pumping it with silver ions you up for a sturdy reach,
before it’s turned to mist. and probably looking like
One less air pollutant to you know what you’re
worry about. doing too.
Score for: P1,0 9 9, Lazada Score for: P3,5 00, True
Value

CLIP TOENAILS
E AS I LY
Equinox heavy duty R E D O YO U R ‘ D O
toenail clipper Pritech hair trimmer
Yes, these surgical grade Scissors for cutting hair are too 2015.
clippers from Equinox If you’ve always wanted to get your
were made for your head skinned yourself, or cut yourself
toenails, not alambre. a sideburn on top of the usual balbas/
Time to hack away at bigote upkeep, then consider this
thick toenails like they electric glass razor a multitool. Unlatch
were, yes, alambre. Ah, from its charging cradle and choose
male grooming. from three changeable comb blades,
Score for: P1,100, and start buzzing.
Galleon Score for: P1,8 9 9, Lazada

www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial FEBRUARY 2016 FH M 111

 True
Stories
Believe it. Or not

Hotel room Santa baby

As a kid, my parents used
up on the couch with my
wife laughing at me, and
banging on the other
doors. I started shouting
Due to a series of events, I was stuck in to dress up like Jimmy crying. He told me random Japanese words

I L L U S T R AT I O N : G I L B E R T D A R O Y ; M I C H I k O M A G N O ’ S P H O T O : A A R O N E B I O
a hotel room with one of my female co- Mr. and Mrs. Claus for that he was scared that to get the attention of
workers. It was a small and cheap hotel Christmas, and leave Santa wouldn’t get him the people inside. I was
presents under the tree anything because he had on the floor crying when
room with a very hard floor and no extra and eat the oreos I left I heard the entity speak
been a bad boy. I got up
couch, so she let me sleep in the same for them. Now that I have and got his present from in English and shout,
bed, with a mountain of pillows and a a kid of my own, I want to inside our cabinet and “Shut up, pussy!” It was
comforter between us. I was lying awake instill the same Christmas he was so happy that it just a long-haired drunk
spirit to my toddler. So seemed like he forgot wearing a white blanket,
for about 30 minutes when I suddenly one Christmas night, my who I guessed also lost
about everything. Yup,
felt nudging on my feet. A sensation wife and I dressed up he’s my son alright. his hotel key.
went through every bone in my body as the jolly old couple Roger, via Facebook George, via Facebook
as I felt it linger up my legs. “Jane, to surprise Jimmy, our
son. He was playing with Let me in Kiss. Now.
wag natin ‘tong gawin. I value our his iPad on the couch I stayed at a fancy hotel I’m a wedding
friendship.” I said. She replied, “Ano’ng when we sprung out during my vacation in photographer, and I’ve
pinagsasasabi mo d’yan?” I looked under and surprised him. He Japan. I decided to head had my fair share of silly
the sheets and saw a giant rodent on my screamed and threw his in early and skip partying engagements, but this
iPad right at my face and with my friends because one wedding coverage
thigh. I screamed a falsetto. knocked me out. I woke I hadn’t gotten enough really stuck to me. It was
Peter, via Facebook sleep for the past few a really long wedding
days. While standing in because both parties
front of my room I saw took too long to thank
someone at the end of the world that they met
the hallway. I had a few each other. I was really

TRUE Back when I was in elementary drinks so I knew I was frustrated and out of it so
school, I had a crush on some a bit imaginative at that while they were saying
boy. One time, I saw him walk time but I took a better their vows, I accidentally
past me in a hallway. I turned to look, and I kid you not, said out loud, “Ma’am,
it looked like that girl kiss na po tayo.” The
STORY
look at him automatically, and
tripped like a klutz. Luckily no from The Ring. I was crowd burst into laughter.
one saw me trip so I got up all about to piss my pants Good thing they were
runway-model style and never and fumbled inserting good sports about it. I
Michiko looked back. This was definitely the key card in the watched everything I said
one of those nakakawalang- scanner hole properly. after that.
Magno poise moments. Ha ha! As the entity closed in, I MarkadongMark, via
backed away and started Facebook

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