Professional Documents
Culture Documents
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2) A farmer combined 2 compost heaps with 3 others. How many compost heaps does
he have? (One)
4) Why was Karl Marx buried at Highgate Cemetery in London? (Because he was dead)
7) What lives on its own substance and dies when it devours itself? (A candle)
11) Who is closer to you, your mom or your dad? (Mom is closer because dad is
"farther".)
18) Why shouldn't you lose your temper? (No one else wants it.)
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22) What makes opening piano so hard? (All the keys are inside.)
24) What do you get if you cross stereo and fridge? (Very cool music)
27) What did the big chimney say to the little chimney while working? (You are too
young to smoke.)
29) Why should we never ask balloons for advice? (They are full of hot air.)
31) Which can move faster, heat or cold? (Heat, because you catch cold)
32) What weather do mice and rats fear? (When it is raining cats and dogs)
34) Who will be your real friend, a poor friend or a rich one? (A poor friend, because a
friend in need is a friend indeed)
35) Why did the banker keep looking up at the sky? (To see if there is any change in
the sky)
36) What is the longest word in the English language? (Smile, because there is a mile
between the beginning and the end of it)
38) Why is the letter R absolutely necessary to friendship? (Without it, a friend will
become a fiend)
39) What can you tell from Peter's record card with extremely poor grades? (He didn't
cheat.)
40) What has four fingers and a thumb but no flesh and bone? (A glove)
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41) Who goes around all day in a car with his bag full of money? (A bus conductor)
42) Mouse fell of a 1000-step stair and was not hurt. Why? (He fell off the last step.)
43) Who works only one day in a year but never gets fired? (Santa Claus)
44) What do your drop when you need it and take back when you don't? (An anchor)
46) When can you have something and nothing at the same time in your pocket? (When
there is a hole in it)
47) Where can you always find money? (In the dictionary)
48) "Railroad crossing, look out for the cars." Can you spell it without any R's? (I-t)
51) Which has more legs, a cow or no cow? (No cow. A cow has only four legs but no
cow has more legs.)
52) What is black when it is clean and white when it is dirty? (A blackboard)
53) Why are grandpa's false teeth like stars? (They come out at night.)
54) What word is pronounced wrong, even by the best of scholars? (The word: wrong)
55) What will make more noise in your house than a dog? (Two dogs)
56) What are two things people never eat before breakfast? (Lunch and supper)
57) Why did the man throw a bucket of water out the window? (He wanted to see the
waterfall.)
58) Why did the man throw the butter out the window? (He wanted to see the
butterfly.)
59) Why did the man put the clock in the safe? (He wanted to save time.)
61) I am a band but I don't play any music - what am I? (A rubber band)
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64) How many legs does an ant have? (Two, the same as an uncle) (Note: "ant" is
promounced as "aunt".)
67) Why is the letter A like a flower? (Because the letter B is after it) (Note: B = bee)
68) Why is the letter "A" like noon? (Because it's in the middle of the day)
69) What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water? (C) (Note: C = sea)
71) What are the 3 important rings in life? (Engagement ring, Wedding ring, and
suffering)
72) A man rode into town on Tuesday. Two days later he rode home on Tuesday. How
is this possible? (His horse's name is Tuesday.)
73) Why did the student take a ladder to school? (Because he/she was going to high
school!)
74) Why did the tomato blush? (Beacuse it saw the salad dressing!)
75) What are the two strongest days of the week? (Saturday and Sunday. All the others
are weak (week) days.)
76) What do you call a bear without an "ear"? (BBBBBBB)
77) What is the difference between the capital of Russia and a calf's mother? (One is
Moscow, the other is a cow's Ma.)
78) What's the difference between a TEACHER and a CONDUCTOR? (A teacher
TRAINS the MIND and a conductor MINDS the TRAIN.)
79) What do you call a fish that only cares about himself? (Selfish)
80) What's a minimum? (A very small mother!)
81) Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? (Because it's two-tired (too tired))
83) Where does a boxer who weighs 135 kilograms sit on a bus? (Wherever he wants
to.)
85) What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? (Short)
87) How many seconds are there in one year? (Twelve. January second, February
second, March second... )
88) What did the doctor say when the invisible man called to make an appointment?
(Tell him I can't see him today.)
90) What a bee says when it gets in the hive? (Hi Honey! I'm home!)