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Shyness (relationships).

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Cheek, J.M., & Tyson, K.E. (2009). Shyness. In H.T. Reis & S.K. Sprecher (Eds.), Encyclopedia
of Human Relationships (vol. 3, pp. 1489-1492). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Shyness heart, sweating, or blushing define the somatic
Shyness is the term most often used to
anxiety component of shyness. Acute public
label feelings of anxiety and inhibition in
self-consciousness, self-critical thoughts, and
social situations. Common synonyms include
worries about being evaluated negatively by
bashfulness, timidity, self-consciousness, and reticence.
others constitute the second, cognitive
Ratings of shyness-eliciting situations reveal
component of shyness. The third component
that interactions with strangers, especially
includes observable behavior such as
those of the opposite sex or in positions of
quietness, cautiousness, awkward body
authority, encounters requiring assertive
language, avoidance of eye contact, and social
behavior, and explicitly evaluative settings
withdrawal. From an evolutionary perspective
such as job interviews or first dates provoke
on emotional development, a moderate
the strongest feelings of social anxiety. The
amount of wariness, concern, and caution
tendency to be shy can create barriers to
regarding strangers and unfamiliar or
achieving life satisfaction in love, work, play,
unpredictable situations has considerable
and friendship. This entry defines shyness as a
adaptive value. In addition, anticipatory social
personality trait and discusses how shy people
anxiety is functional when it motivates
tend to be more lonely and less satisfied with
preparation and rehearsal for important
their relationships than those who are not shy.
interpersonal events and shyness also helps to
Emotional State and Personality
facilitate cooperative group living by
Trait
inhibiting individual behavior that is socially
The experience of shyness typically
unacceptable.
involves three components. Global feelings of
Situational shyness as a transitory
emotional arousal and specific physiological
emotional state appears to be a normal aspect
complaints, such as upset stomach, pounding

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of human development and everyday adult described as shy by their kindergarten teachers

life. For some people, however, shyness is than are children with an opposite,

more than a temporary situational response; it behaviorally uninhibited temperament.

occurs with sufficient frequency and intensity Retrospective reports indicate that 75% of

to be considered a personality trait. About 30 young adults who say they were shy in early

to 40% of adults in the United States label childhood continue to identify themselves as

themselves as dispositionally shy persons. shy persons.

Three-quarters of the shy respondents said Slightly more than half of shy adults

that they did not like being so shy, and two- report that they first became troubled by

thirds of them considered their shyness to be shyness between the ages of 8 and 14, and

a personal problem. Almost half of shy adults they do not appear to have the temperamental

report that they have been shy since early predisposition for becoming shy and

childhood. For those with early-developing inhibited. Instead, late-developing shyness is

shyness, genetic and physiological factors play caused by the adjustment problems of social

a significant role in personality development. development normally encountered in the

Research studies of identical and fraternal transition from childhood to adolescence.

twins indicate that the temperamental The bodily changes of puberty, the newly

predisposition for shyness has the highest acquired cognitive ability to think abstractly

heritability in the normal range of individual about the self and other people, and the new

differences in personality traits. Infants with demands and opportunities resulting from

this highly reactive temperament in the first changing social roles combine to make

year of life are more likely to be wary or adolescents feel intensely self-conscious and

fearful of strangers at the end of the second socially awkward. The developmental peak for

year, and they are also more likely to be shyness occurs around age 14 when two-

3
thirds of the girls and more than half of the concept disturbance may be greater for

boys identify themselves as shy. Late- females in American culture, whereas

developing shyness, however, seems to be less behavioral problems related to taking the

likely to endure than the early developing initiative in social encounters may be more

temperamental predisposition. Adolescent salient for shy males.

self-consciousness gradually declines after age Some people prefer to spend time

14, and less than 50% of survey respondents alone rather than with others but also feel

who first became shy during later childhood comfortable when they are in social settings.

and early adolescence still consider themselves Such people are non-anxious introverts, who

to be shy by age 21. may be unsociable but are not shy. The

In the United States, the prevalence of opposite of shyness is social self-confidence,

labeling oneself as a shy person is higher for not extraversion. The problem for truly shy

females than males in most age groups, people is that their anxiety prevents them

although samples of college students do not from participating in social life when they

show this gender difference. College men rate want to or need to.

shyness as more undesirable than women do, Shyness, Self-Concept, and Self-

and both genders agree that shyness is less Presentation

socially desirable for a man than for a woman. One way to approach the distinction

Indeed, raters of both actual and hypothetical between shy people and those who are not

individuals regard a shy male as less likeable shy is simply quantitative: dispositionally shy

than a shy female. Some research findings people experience physical tension, worry, and

suggest the interpretation, consistent with behavioral inhibition more frequently, more

traditional sex-role stereotypes, that the intensely, and in a wider range of situations

burden of shyness as a problem of self- than do people who do not label themselves

4
as being shy. There are also significant and not enough on other people. For

qualitative differences in psychological example, in one laboratory study of the

processes. For example, shy people perceive getting acquainted process, shy college

various social situations as inherently less women reported spending 33% of a 5-minute

intimate and more evaluative, they expect that social interaction engaged in self-focus

their social behavior will be inadequate and compared to about 20% of the time for those

will be evaluated negatively by others, and who were not shy. Moreover, the content of

they perceive the same interpersonal feedback their self-focusing was dominated by negative

as more evaluatively negative, compared to thoughts about being tense and making a

those who are not shy. When they encounter poor impression, as would be expected by the

social difficulties, shy people also tend to conceptualization of shyness as a propensity

make more self-blaming causal attributions for engaging in anxious self-preoccupation.

and to remember more negative details than Not surprisingly, shyness is related to poor

do people who are not shy. Moreover, shy performance on a measure of sensitivity to the

individuals more readily accept negative verbal and nonverbal communications of

feedback than positive feedback, and they other people.

tend to resist, and to doubt the accuracy of, The tendency to be anxiously self-

positive evaluations. preoccupied has a pervasive influence on

These habitual self-concept processes social behavior. Shy people typically adopt a

appear to make it difficult for shy people to cautiously conservative or protective style of

conduct successful social interactions and to self-presentation, seeking to get along with

develop relationships with others. Part of the others rather than to get ahead. For example,

problem is that shy individuals tend to focus they tend to conform to majority opinion, to

too much of their attention on themselves change their personal attitude toward the

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position advocated by an authority figure, and through college age. Of course, positive

to avoid disclosing much personal experiences with peers at an early age help to

information about themselves. When faced develop social skills, but such experiences are

with a situation in which others hold high not easily available for the shy child. Shy

expectations of them, shy individuals may children and their friends report lower

even fail strategically as a means of creating friendship quality in elementary school

lower and safer standards of evaluation. compared to those who are not shy, and the

Those who are not shy are more likely to shy children tend to be passive or avoidant

pursue an acquisitive self-presentation style by when facing social challenges. Elementary

actively seeking to obtain social rewards. school teachers may not be likely to help the

Relationships and Interpersonal shy child much because they tend to

Styles appreciate the passive compliance of such a

The typical pattern of social life for child while their energy is focused on problem

shy children is poor relationships with peers children who act out aggressively.

but positive interactions at home, especially Cultural differences in the prevalence

with their mothers. So the home environment of shyness may reflect the impact of

appears to be a decisive factor for socialization practices. In Israel children tend

developmental outcomes of shyness. A to be praised for being self-confident and

growing body of literature demonstrates a often are included in adult conversations, two

relationship between increased shyness and factors that may account for the low level of

measures of both inhibition of emotional shyness reported by Israelis. In Japan, on the

expressiveness in the family environment and other hand, the incidence of shyness is much

a perceived lack of parental support, which higher than in the United States. Japanese

has been found in studies from infancy culture values harmony and tends to

6
encourage dependency and quiet loyalty to playmates, shy teenagers date less often, and

one's superiors. Talkative or assertive shy adults are less satisfied with the quality of

individuals risk being considered immature or their social relationships, compared to those

insincere, and there is a high level of concern who are not shy. Several longitudinal studies

about avoiding the shame of failure. All of show that when shy children grow up, they

these values may promote shyness yet also are likely to experience delayed social

make it a somewhat less socially undesirable transitions, with shy males marrying or

personality trait. In contrast, American forming their first stable partnership,

cultural values that emphasize competition, becoming fathers, and getting established in a

individual achievement, and material success stable occupational career several years later

appear to create an environment in which it is than those who were not shy. Once in a

particularly difficult for the shy person to feel relationship, shy people may become too

secure and worthwhile. Recent research in dependent on their partner, silencing the self

China further illustrates how broader cultural in favor of pleasing the other, and missing out

values influence the extent to which shyness is on authentic mutuality. These quality of

perceived to be a problem. Chinese teachers relationship dynamics are important because

tend to see shyness as a favorable trait in for shy people excessive dependency (also

children, and among Chinese children shyness called unmitigated communion) is a risk factor

is not associated with loneliness, unlike in the for depression, as is loneliness itself.

United States or Canada. Love-Shyness and the Internet

Research conducted in North America The term love-shyness was introduced to

and Europe consistently finds that loneliness isolate specifically sexual issues from other

is the most obvious undesirable consequence intrapsychic and interpersonal issues that are

of shyness. Shy children have fewer involved in the psychology of shyness. Shy

7
college men identify problems with dating and protective self-presentation, and lower levels

lack of sexual experience as troubling personal of inhibition and rejection sensitivity. These

issues, and among extremely shy middle aged encouraging findings suggest that use of the

men there are some who say that they live Internet may become a worthwhile addition

unhappy lives of enforced virginity due to to traditional treatment programs of social

their love-shyness. Surveys of college women skills training, practice dating, and cognitive

find that shyness is not correlated with therapy for helping shy people who are

attitudes about or quantity of sexual experiencing relationship problems.

experience, but it is associated with lower Jonathan M. Cheek, Wellesley College

Katherine E. Tyson, University of
quality of sexual relationships and lower levels Connecticut

of sexual self-esteem. Shy college women See also Embarrassment; Interpersonal

Dependency; Internet Dating; Loneliness;
report that their dating relationships are Rejection Sensitivity; Social Anxiety

characterized by a protective self-presentation Further Readings

style and a validation-seeking interpersonal Beidel, D.C., & Turner, S. M. (1998). Shy

orientation, whereas those who are not shy children, phobic adults: Nature and

report a growth-seeking interpersonal treatment of social phobia. Washington,

orientation in their dating relationships. The DC: American Psychological

newest research topic in shyness and Association.

relationships involves use of the Internet for Cheek, J.M., & Krasnoperova, E.N. (1999).

developing online relationships that might Varieties of shyness in adolescence

lead to face-to-face interactions. Initial studies and adulthood. In L.A. Schmidt & J.

indicate that, in contrast to offline social Schulkin (Eds.), Extreme fear, shyness,

interactions, the online communications of and social phobia: Origins, biological

shy people showed more self-disclosure, less mechanisms, and clinical outcomes (pp. 224-

8
 250). New York: Oxford University Press.

Crozier, W.R. (Ed.). (2001). Shyness:

Development, consolidation, and change.

London: Routledge

Gilmartin, B. G. (1987). Shyness and love:

Causes, consequences, and treatment.

Lanham, MD: University Press of

America.

Joiner, T. E., Jr. (1997). Shyness and low

social support as interactive diatheses,

with loneliness as mediator: Testing an

interpersonal-personality view of

vulnerability to depressive symptoms.

Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 106, 386-

394

Jones, W. H., Cheek, J. M., & Briggs, S. R.

(Eds.). (1986). Shyness: Perspectives on

research and treatment. New York:

Plenum.

Stritzke, G. K. W, Nguyen, A., & Durkin, K.

(2004). Shyness and computer-

mediated communication: A self-

presentational theory perspective.

Media Psychology, 6, 1-22.

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