“Life with the Wright Family”

One day the Wright family decided to take a vacation. The first thing they had to decide was who
would be left at home since there was not enough room in the Wright family car for all of them. Mr. Wright
decided that Aunt Linda Wright would be the one left at home. Of course this made Aunt Linda Wright so
mad that she left the house immediately yelling "It will be a right cold day before I return".
The Wright family now bundled up the children, Tommy Wright, Susan Wright, Timmy Wright and
Shelly Wright and got in the car and left. Unfortunately, as they turned out of the driveway someone had
left a trash can in the street so they had to turn right around and stop the car. They told Tommy Wright to
get out of the car and move the trash can so they could get going. Tommy took so long that they almost
left him in the street. Once the Wright family got on the road, Mother Wright wondered if she had left the
stove on. Father Wright told her not to worry he had checked the stove and she had not left it on. As they
turned right at the corner, everyone started to think about other things that they might have left undone.
No need to worry now, they were off on a right fine vacation. When they arrived at the gas station,
Father Wright put gas in the car and then discovered that he had left his wallet at home. So Timmy Wright
ran home to get the money that was left behind. After Timmy had left, Susan Wright started to feel sick.
She left the car saying that she had to throw up. This of course got Mother Wright's attention and she left
the car in a hurry. Shelly Wright wanted to watch Susan get sick, so she left the car too. Father Wright
was left with Tommy Wright who was playing a game in the backseat.
With all of this going on, Father Wright decided that this was not the right time to take a vacation,
so he gathered up all of the family and left the gas station as quickly as he could. When he arrived home,
he turned left into the driveway and said "I wish the Wright family had never left the house today! Right?”

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/healthyschools/shi/pdf/training-manual/wrightfamily.pdf

“Life with the Wright Family”

One day the Wright family decided to take a vacation. The first thing they had to decide was who
would be left at home since there was not enough room in the Wright family car for all of them. Mr. Wright
decided that Aunt Linda Wright would be the one left at home. Of course this made Aunt Linda Wright so
mad that she left the house immediately yelling "It will be a right cold day before I return".
The Wright family now bundled up the children, Tommy Wright, Susan Wright, Timmy Wright and
Shelly Wright and got in the car and left. Unfortunately, as they turned out of the driveway someone had
left a trash can in the street so they had to turn right around and stop the car. They told Tommy Wright to
get out of the car and move the trash can so they could get going. Tommy took so long that they almost
left him in the street. Once the Wright family got on the road, Mother Wright wondered if she had left the
stove on. Father Wright told her not to worry he had checked the stove and she had not left it on. As they
turned right at the corner, everyone started to think about other things that they might have left undone.
No need to worry now, they were off on a right fine vacation. When they arrived at the gas station,
Father Wright put gas in the car and then discovered that he had left his wallet at home. So Timmy Wright
ran home to get the money that was left behind. After Timmy had left, Susan Wright started to feel sick.
She left the car saying that she had to throw up. This of course got Mother Wright's attention and she left
the car in a hurry. Shelly Wright wanted to watch Susan get sick, so she left the car too. Father Wright
was left with Tommy Wright who was playing a game in the backseat.
With all of this going on, Father Wright decided that this was not the right time to take a vacation,
so he gathered up all of the family and left the gas station as quickly as he could. When he arrived home,
he turned left into the driveway and said "I wish the Wright family had never left the house today! Right?”

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/healthyschools/shi/pdf/training-manual/wrightfamily.pdf
ENCOURAGEMENT 101: THE COURAGE TO BE IMPERFECT
By Timothy D. Evans, Ph.D.

Encouragement is the key ingredient for improving your relationships with others. It is the single most important skill
necessary for getting along with others – so important that the lack of it could be considered the primary cause of conflict
and misbehavior. Encouragement develops a person’s psychological hardiness and social interest. Encouragement is
the lifeblood of a relationship. And yet this simple concept is often very hard to put into practice.

Encouragement is not a new idea. Its spiritual connotation dates back to the Bible in Hebrews 3:11 which states
“Encourage one another daily.” Encouragement, as a psychological idea, was developed by psychiatrist Alfred Adler in
the early 20th century and continued to evolve through the work of Adler’s follower Rudolph Dreikurs. However, even
today, relatively few educators, parents, psychologists, leaders or couples have utilized this valuable concept. Most of
the time, people mistakenly use a technique like praise in an effort to “encourage” others.
Half the job of encouragement lies in avoiding discouraging words and actions. When children or adults misbehave, it is
usually because they are discouraged. Instead of building them up, we tear them down; instead of recognizing their
efforts and improvements, we point out mistakes; instead of allowing them to belong through shared decision-making
and meaningful contributions, we isolate and label them.
Most of us are skilled discouragers. We have learned how to bribe, reward and, when that fails, to punish, criticize, nag,
threaten, interrogate and emotionally withdraw. We do this as an attempt to control those we love, bolstered by the
mistaken belief that we are responsible for the behavior of everyone around us, especially our spouses and children.
These attempts to control behavior create atmospheres of tension and conflict in many houses.

Most commonly, we discourage in five general ways:

 We set standards that are too high for others to meet because we are overly ambitious.
 We focus on mistakes as a way to motivate change or improved behavior.
 We make constant comparisons (self to others, siblings to one another).
 We automatically give a negative spin to the actions of others.
 We dominate others by being overly helpful, implying that they are unable to do it as well.

Encouragement is not a technique nor is it a special language used to gain compliance. Encouragement conveys the
idea that all human beings are worthwhile, simply because they exist. In one sentence, Mr. Rogers does more for a
child’s sense of adequacy than a hundred instances of praise when he says, “I like you just the way you are.” Not I like
you when you do it well enough, fast enough and get it all correct. Encouragement develops children’s psychological
hardiness -- their ability to function and recover when things aren’t going their way.

Encouragement enhances a feeling of belonging which leads to greater social interest. Social interest is the tendency
for people to unite themselves with other human beings and to accomplish their tasks in cooperation with others. The
Junior League mission of “developing the potential of women and improving communities through the effective action
and leadership of trained volunteers” is rooted in the idea of social interest.
The first step to becoming an encouraging person is to learn to distinguish encouragement from discouragement. As a
rule, ask yourself: Whatever I say or do, will it bring me closer together or farther apart from this person?
We all have the power to be more encouraging people. The choice, as always, is yours.
Source: http://carterandevans.com/portal/index.php/adlerian-theory/84-encouragement-101- the-courage-to-be-imperfect